


There Is More To Love

by frozengay



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Jughead is a little nervy around Betty, LGBT, Lesbian, M/M, Riverdale, Text Conversation, bughead - Freeform, cheryl is a quiet bitch, choni, soft, text, toni is like an excited puppy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 168,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25356586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozengay/pseuds/frozengay
Summary: (7:41)  - T -Simply bc he’s a dick.(7:45) You sound a bit like a dick.(7:47)  - T -We’ve gone through this. I’m c-i-v-i-l-i-z-e-d(7:53)  - T -I have to go to my first round of cleaning up sticky bar stools now. Good bye stranger :) -*insert salute here*-An AU where Toni and Cheryl accidentally meet by chance because a few mistyped numbers. Cheryl is closed off, and Toni is basically a ball of constant soft energy.
Relationships: Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Fangs Fogarty/Kevin Keller
Comments: 26
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Got far too exhausted to fill in all of Cheryl’s texts with  
> -C-  
> It’s 3:47 am. Hope you all have a lovely Saturday! :)

Cheryl groaned, rolling over in bed to grapple at her phone buzzing insesintly on the night table. She blinked the blurriness from her eyes and rolled onto her back with a yawn, grimacing till her eyes got used to the bright screen.

1 new notification  
Monday AM

(7:30) - T -  
How much do you think Tall Boy will kill me for flooding his trailer ?

(7:32)  
Who is Tall Boy? And personally, I don’t receive well with having my own things flooded.

(7:33) - T -  
What do you mean who’s Tall Boy? How drunk did you get last night? He’s only the biggest dick in the gang lol. 

(7:33)  
I’m afraid you have the wrong person. 

(7:34) - T -  
Oh shiiiit. New phone. Wrong number. Sorry.

(7:35) - T -  
I figured as much. It’s ok. But why are you flooding some strangely named mans trailer?

(7:40) - T -  
Hey, we love our names around here. And anyway, he decked my friend Jughead in the face the other day, so I’m just doing the brotherly thing and destroying his property. I’d like to think their first is some unrequited love though.

(7:41)  
I get the vague impression your “friends” and you get into a lot of shit.

(7:41) - T -  
…yeah, but they secretly love it lol

(7:41)  
In that case, I’ll leave you two to it, it’s far too early on a Saturday.

With that, Cheryl rolled over in her canopy bed and fell into a listless sleep. 

Tuesday PM

(6:45) - T -  
Sooo I got 3 months clean up around the local bar and 24 death threats from Tall Boy.

(6:46)  
Wrong number again.

(6:46) - T -  
No no, I’m updating you. I flooded an entire trailer and sealed all the gaps shut so no water could get out. He got super fucked up at the bar, opened his door and got wiped out. It was dope.

(6:47)  
Not to be mean, Random Stranger Who Texted the Wrong Number and wont stop, but don’t you have friends you can tell this to?

(6:47)  
Also, trailer? Where the hell are you?

(7:38) - T -  
All my friends were there, Random Stranger Who Keeps Replying :)

(7:38) - T -  
I live south. Don’t get the wrong impression though, I’m totally well mannered 

(7:40)  
Anyone who floods a trailer doesn’t seem very well mannered. 

(7:40) - T -  
Whatever. I’m a perfectly civilized human. I don’t need to prove myself to you.

(7:41)  
Well don’t get all sulky now. Why a trailer?

(7:41) - T -  
It wasn’t my first choice, but I was aiming for maximumly pissing him off with maximum damage but unfortunately all he has is that nasty old beat up thing and his bike- which is off limits.

(7:41) - T -  
Simply bc he’s a dick.

(7:45) You sound a bit like a dick.

(7:47) - T -  
We’ve gone through this. I’m c-i-v-i-l-i-z-e-d

(7:53) - T -  
I have to go to my first round of cleaning up sticky bar stools now. Good bye stranger :) -*insert salute here*

-

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:07)  
Do you all sleep in trailers?

(12:10) - T -  
Hello to you too. Thanks for checking to see if I got murdered on my way home >:(

(12:10)  
Drama queen. Come on. Trailers. All of you?

(12:13) - T -  
Yup. Unless you prefer sleeping in the cushy warm pile of dirt outside.

(12:14)  
sounds interesting.

(12:15) - T -  
Not until there’s no longer any electricity or water and we all have to carry around candles like some scene from Midsommar and eat watermelons till we puke. 

(12:16)  
Is that what you’re doing now?

(12:16) - T -  
Right now I have a juice box bc I don’t trust those half squashed balls of surprise more than likely stolen off the back of a produce van that was sitting in the sun too long. Last time there was a rat in it.

(12:16) - T -  
And it was still alive.

(12:17)  
Are juice boxes considered high class now a days?

(12:17) - T -  
Duck off Ads hole.

(12:17) Wow. What a temper.

(12:18) - T -  
ARGH. IT’S A NEW PHONE. **FUCK OFF ASSHOLE.

(12:18) Amazing. The eloquence.

(12:18) - T -  
I guess your lunch is going better than mine huh?

(12:19)  
If you consider some old take out from Pop’s better.

(12:20) - T -  
A diner? That doesn’t seem very civilized either!

(12:21)  
I never said I was civilized :P

(12:21) - T -  
Oh, so you’re punk rock then? Any cool stories to tell?

(12:22)  
Maybe, and now I’ll see myself out to enjoy my cold half eaten burger. Have fun with the bar tonight.

Wednesday PM

(1:01) - Sweets -  
You were texting all lunch but me and Fangs were right there

(1:01) - Sweets -  
You don’t have other friends.

(1:02) - Tiny -  
How dare you, I have a whole plethora of friends that I can call upon when your ugly asses dont show. 

(1:03) - Sweets -  
Lying ass bitch lmaooo

(1:10) - Sweets -  
Oh come on, don’t ignore me Topaz.

(1:11) - Tiny -  
Did I need to respond to something there orrrr?

(1:11) - Sweets -  
Don’t play stupid, that roles already filled by me. What’s ur deal today

(1:12) - Tiny -  
The wrong number I texted the other day? They asked if we all lived in trailers

(1:13) - Sweets -  
They know we’re from the southside? Did you also give them your moms maiden name and social security number?

(1:13) - Tiny -  
Dude, shut it.

(1:14) - Sweets -  
What about your DNA sequence? Make it easier for them to just clone you.

(1:14) - Tiny -  
What are you even talking about u dumbass

(1:15) - Sweets -  
It’s just weird that this random ass person probably knows who we are. What if they’re a cop or a conservative or smth 

(1:15) - Tiny -  
You’re just overreacting, man. They dont know who we are. Everyone on the Southside either life in trailer parks or in tear downs. They don’t even know my name. I don’t know their name. Shit, idek their gender.

(1:16) - Sweets -  
Maybe it’s some middle aged dude

(1:16) - Sweets -  
Fine, whatever leave me on read. Just don’t get murdered, alright?  
I don’t want to have to bury your body. You’re too fuckin heavy nowadays ;)

(1:17) - Tiny -  
🖕🏻 Suck it, Sweets. 

*

(1:15) - T -  
Hey, what’s your name?

(1:18)  
Not happening.

(1:18) - T -  
Is that what your mother calls you?

(1:19)  
No, but at the same time she doesn’t call me. Well, except deviant, a nightmare and a lunatic child. Doesnt mean you can call me those, either.

(1:20) - T -  
Any aliases?

(1:20)  
No. If I told you, I’d have to kill you. You’d be able to find my socials where I post my photography. 

(1:21) - T -  
oooo photography. How artsy and edgy of you. I’ll call you... hmmm something that really excentuates that bubbly personality of yours. Pumpkin? Honey, maybe >:)

(1:21)  
🖕🏻 :)

(1:22) - T -  
so what about your gender then? Boy, girl, in between, both, none, come on.

(1:22)  
Are you putting me on Craigslist?

(1:23)  
Fine, I’m a girl. 

(1:30)  
Is this a disappointing establishment?

(1:40)  
Whatever.

*

Thursday AM

(9:04) - T -  
My piece of shit phone practically combusted in my hand, sorry. But yes, I do plan to put you up on craigslist. ‘Hot girl that answers random phone numbers for sale.’ It’s a work in progress ;)

(9:17) - T -  
C’mon. You’re not mad, right? If it makes you feel better I had to spend 60 bucks to fix it

(9:30)  
Are you texting in class?

(9:34) - T -  
maybe

(9:40)  
What a waste 

(9:41) - T -  
Shut up. It’s history. Boring.

(9:42)  
What are you learning?

(9:43) - T -  
French Revolution. So much forehead.

(9:46)  
puis-je t'appeler mon trésor?

(9:46) - T -  
Oh my god I should have known you were one of those people. I don’t even have google translate but I’m pretty sure you just swore at me.

(9:48)  
Hardly.

(9:50) - T -  
I bet you sweet talk all the boys with your French.

(9:50)  
Are you a boy?

(9:51) - T -  
No. Is this a disappointing establishment?

(9:51) - T -  
Honestly, what was up with that?

(9:52)  
Nothing. Never mind.

(9:53) - T -  
No, c’mon you were pissed.

(9:55)  
I just thought that… you would stop talking to me if you knew I wasn’t a guy. Because I assumed you were a girl. And that maybe

(9:55)  
I dunno. Forget it.

(9:55) - T -  
Did you think I would stop texting you bc you were a girl and therefor wouldnt want to interact with you bc obviously I AM A HETERO SEX FIEND? 

(9:56)  
That’s… a strange way of putting it. But yeah, something like that.

(10:00)  
Now isn’t the time to go silent.

(10:01) - T -  
IM SORRU IN JUSY LAUDJING SP HARD YOU ARW AN IDOT OG MYGOS

(10:01)  
Thank you. Thank you so much.

(10:02) - T -  
You’re an idiot. I like you. Not enough to get my phone confiscated again though. I’ll talk to you later, disappointing establishment 

(10:02)  
va te faire foutre.

Thursday MIDDAY

(12:32) - T -  
What do you do when your best friend is being a dickhead but no amount of explanation, including a detailed diagram, will convince him that he is being a dickhead?

(12:35)  
Resort to physical violence, I imagine in your case.

(12:35) - T -  
Ok, let’s narrow it. He’s being a dickhead about a dude

(12:36)  
My assumption still stands.

(12:37) - T -  
I’VE TRIED. MAN HAVE I TRIED.

(12:37)  
Is your friend and this guy dating?

(12:38) - T -  
No. He just pines from afar like a weirdo.

(12:38)  
Then I think he’s being punished enough, no?

(12:39) - T -  
You’d think so, but in between the pining is bursts of “HE LOOKED AT ME’ and ‘HE ASKED FOR A PENCIL’ He’s too happy to be unhappy.

(12:40)  
I admire his optimism.

(12:41)  
Are you jealous of his pining?

(12:42) - T -  
NO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT

(12:43)  
WELL YOUR ALARMED REACTION SEEMS TO SUGGEST OTHERWISE.

(12:45) - T -  
It’s not jealousy. Just annoying maybe.

(12:45) - T -  
And idk, he just seems so sure that he’s ‘the one’. Although he’s never said those words. He’s an idiot, not a sap.

(12:46)  
I don’t follow. Why does your friend having found ‘the one’ make you annoyed? Do you like him?

(12:47) - T -  
I genuinely might have just thrown up at that.

(12:47) - T -  
You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?

(12:47)  
????? Yes.

(12:48) - T -  
Bc maybe I would like to find ‘the one’ also. Don’t tell my friends that. And I’m annoyed bc he seems to have found it so easily and is throwing it awaaaaay. This is stupid.

(12:48)  
How old are you?

(12:49) - T -  
How dare you! You cannot simply just ask a lady her age! The travesty! And you say I’m uncivilized!

(12:53) - T -  
Ok, I’m 16.

(12:54)  
I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure it’s completely natural to not have found ‘the one’ at age 16.

(12:54) - T -  
Doesn’t make it suck any less.

(12:54)  
Just do what every other teenage girl does.

(12:55) - T -  
Do I want to ask…

(12:56)  
:P

(12:57) - T -  
I expect BETTER from you! That’s my kinda joke! Maybe I’m rubbing off on you. Anyhow, We’ve reached a weird level 

(12:57)  
But seriously, don’t worry about not finding the one. It’ll work out eventually.

(12:58) - T -  
And until then, your suggestion is.. masturbation 

(12:59) I’m 17, not a psychologist.

(12:59) - T -  
Yeah, but you don’t have to share a tiny trailer with two guys.

(1:00)  
No, but maybe they’d like to help you out

(1:00) - T -  
I’m going to throw myself off a cliff I swear to god.

(1:00) - T -  
In the mean time, I’m going to go to gym now and not think about sex with actual family for fear of ending it all. I’ll miss you, my sweet little ray of sunshine!

(1:01)  
Those two sentences should not be next to each other.

*

Friday EVENING

(10:54) - T -  
AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SUGAR

(10:55)  
what the absolute hell?

(10:58) - T -  
JOW YOU DOIN AMN

(10:59)  
is this drunk texting because i really cant with it right now

(11:01) - T -  
COME ONNNNN PIKUMPLIN

(11:02)  
i wanna sleep. please stop texting me.

(11:03) - T -  
COME ONT HTAS NO FUN

(11:03) - T -  
I WIAS THINKNIG ABOUT YOU

(11:04) - T -  
ID REALLY LIEKY TO KNOW YOUERNAME

(11:04) - T -  
OR ANTTHING

(11:05) - T -  
BOTH MY FRIENDS DFELL ASELEEP AGTER AN HOUR

(11:05) - T -  
IT WAS ONLT A FEW BOTTLES OF SUME WEIGD stofF TOO

(11:05)  
if i tell you something will you let me go back to sleep??

(11:06) - T -  
WHOS EVEN ALEPE AT THIS TIME OFNF A FRIDAY LOOOOSER

(11:06) - T -  
IM DKIDDIGN

(11:07) - T -  
YESS ILLL LETTYOU SLEP IF YOU ANSWED ONE THIBG

(11:07)  
will you please stop talking in capitals

(11:08) - T -  
dine

(11:08) - T -  
gine

(11:08) - T -  
**&*fine

(11:09)  
what do you want to know

(11:10) - T -  
aer you a virgisn??

(11:10)  
wow im so glad im awake for this

(11:11) - T -  
yout the 1 who told tme todu ck ouy my feeligns

(11:11)  
yes i am a virgin

(11:12)  
can i go back to sleep now?

(11:13) - T -  
I guesss

(11:13) - T -  
I eman

(11:13) - T -  
I am tooo so yto know its not tha big a deal if u thought it szwas

(11:14) - T -  
Swwweet cakes?

(11:15) - T -  
Dumplins?

(11:16) - T -  
Godonightw tiger

*

Saturday AM

(7:15)  
GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE

(7:15)  
I HOPE YOU HAVE TEXT ALERT ON

(7:15)  
OR THE PHONE IS AT LEAST SITUATED NEAR YOUR HEAD SO THE VIBRATION DRILLS HOLES INTO YOUR BRAIN.

(7:16) - T -  
why

(7:16) - T -  
why would you do this to me. 

(7:17)  
I don’t know, Virgin Queen, why does anyone do anything?

(7:18) - T -  
to cause me misery?

(7:19)  
Yes.

(7:20) - T -  
Hang on… Virgin Queen?

(7:20)  
Scroll up, Your Highness.

(7:25) - T -  
Oh no

(7:25)  
Oh yes.

(7:26) - T -  
My reputation!

(7:26) - T -  
Now the whole world knows I’m a sham! I can never show my face again!

(7:27)  
This isn’t my low self esteem talking, but I don’t think I’m ‘the whole world’.

(7:27) - T -  
Oh but Honey Pumpkin you are my whole world.

(7:27)  
Do I have to tell you again that 16 and a virgin still isn’t a bad thing?

(7:30) - T -  
Idk, are you going to tell me to do stuff with my friends again?

(7:31)  
You really can’t get over that can you.

(7:32) - T -  
It’s not everyday a stranger suggests to you to crack one out with the boys

(7:33)  
Well it’s not everyday a stranger drunkenly texts you to find out if you’re a virgin.

(7:35) - T -  
Touche.

(7:36) - T -  
I’m sorry about that

(7:36) - T -  
It was probably out of line.

(7:37)  
’Probably’

(7:37) - T -  
Ok ok I’m sorry!

(7:38)  
I wouldn’t have minded so much if I wasn’t trying to sleep off a headache.

(7:38)  
Which is why I have cruelly woken you this morning.

(7:39) - T -  
Well you got me. I have puked twice.

(7:39)  
I’ve been there.

(7:40) - T -  
So… how’s your headache this morning?

(7:41)  
Fine… thank you. But I have to go now. I’ll let you go back to sleep.

(7:42) - T -  
Hah, thanks: 

(7:42)  
Uh… have a nice day.

(7:43) - T -  
Yeah. You too.

*

Sunday PM

(2:43) - T -  
So, drunken me has saved your number as ‘Sugar Tittties’ and I think we need to fix this.

(2:43) - T -  
Mostly bc my friend Fangs thinks it’s a little offensive.

(2:44)  
Why do I doubt it was ‘drunk you’ that named the contact that?

(2:44)  
Is it possibly because ‘sober you’ refers to your friend as ‘Fangs’

(2:45) - T -  
Maybe

(2:45) - T -  
and Shut up, it’s a well established nickname.

(2:46) - T -  
And if you don’t tell me your real name, I’ll have to nickname you too. Maybe something that isn’t Sugar Titties, but still.

(2:47)  
What’s your nickname, then?

(2:47) - T -  
Topaz.

(2:48)  
Are you in a gang? Is this an initiation?

(2:56) - T -  
Maybe... ;) Do you want to be forever known as Sugar Titties or what?

(2:59)  
Well, no…

(300) - T -  
Then describe yourself. Give me something to base the name off.

(3:01) - T -  
Did you come up with Fangs and Topaz?

(3:01) - T -  
Yep. And Sweetpea. You don’t wanna know why we call him that.

(3:02) - T -  
Now come on. Descriptions.

(3:02)  
This sounds like a thinly veiled sext attempt.

(3:03) - T -  
Yeah and i may never change your contact.

(3:03) - T -  
Are you going to risk it.

(3:04)  
Fine, fine. I, uh, like reading. I’m trying to read now but some imbecile called ‘Topaz’ keeps messaging me. Um…

(3:04)  
I suddenly don’t know a thing about myself.

(3:05) - T -  
That’s how it usually goes. Describe yourself physically.

(3:05)  
Wow this is a sext

(3:05) - T -  
You don’t have anything I don’t. Unless you really do have titties made of sugar...

(3:06)  
There’s a lot of take and no give here.

(3:07) - T -  
Fine. Brown hair with pink highlights, short (shut the fuck up about it), High cheekbones, dazzling smile, sparkling teeth, luscious skin, toned body, really just the most gorgeous human on the face of the earth.

3:09)  
Red hair, brown eyes, canine teeth, pale skin, am actually a vampire.

(3::10) - T -  
But you said canine teeth.

(3:11) - T -  
Hang on… pale skin?

(3:11)  
It’s almost luminous.

(3:12) - T -  
Like, say… the moon?

(3:12)  
I guess that’s a popular description.

(3:13) - T -  
I’ve got it.

(3:13) - T -  
Drum roll, please.

(3:15)  
*drum rolls regrettably*

(3:16) - T -  
🌙 💣 🐚 

(3:16)  
Well wasnt that was so anti climatic.

(3:17) - T -  
It’s good! Come on, you love it.

(3:19)) - T -  
Don’t you?

(3:20)  
I guess it’s better than Sugar Titties.

(3:22) - T -  
Welcome to the gang, 🌙 💣 🐚 

(3:25)  
Thanks, Topaz.


	2. I’ll Save You From The Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so apparently I don’t know how to insert pictures IM SORRY!!! For the future chapters I’ll learn! Ummm I hope you enjoy, ITLL GET GAY SOON okay bye :)

Monday AM

(9:26) - Topaz -  
Okay I’ve realized something.

(9:30) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm sure it's revolutionary.

(9:31) - Topaz -  
You chastised me for texting in class last week, but where exactly are you on a weekday morning???

(9:32) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm... home schooled.

(9:32) - Topaz -  
I think that is exceptionally less punk rock than a trailer park and public school

(9:32) - Topaz -  
Doesn't it still count as texting in class since youre in class like 24/7?

(9:33) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Usually, yes, but I guess you could say I'm on winter holidays.

(9:34) - Topaz -  
You can’t just choose your vacations!

(9:34) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Home school advantage. You should try it.

(9:35) - Topaz -  
Couldn't even if I wanted to.

(9:35) - Topaz -  
I do not mean it lightly when I say I might very well kill myself being around my idiot friends 24/7.

(9:35) - Topaz -  
Sorry, that was probably a bit much.

(9:36) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
It's ok. I'm now worried for your summer, though.

(9:36) - Topaz -  
It's fine, we all usually part ways for something or another.

(9:36) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm very happy for you, then.

(9:37) - Topaz -  
Can I tell you a secret?

(9:38) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I feel as though you just have, but let's hear it.

(9:38) - Topaz -  
I actually love school.

(9:39) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
You're going to have to swallow some safety pins and bathe in monster energy now to boost your punk cred.

(9:40) - Topaz -  
Only if you tell the punk brigade.

(9:41) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Then I shall die with your secret, Topaz.

(9:41) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Isn't weird though that you... got to school with so many of the same people you’ve grown up with and are every day anyway?

(9:42) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I can't imagine you would get much privacy? Meet new people?

(9:43) - Topaz -  
That's exactly. why I love it, Bombshell. I get to know what everyone is doing

(9:43) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Snoop!

(9:44) - Topaz -  
Plus, really, I like sharing being able to sneak over to my friends trailer at 3 am and steal their beers. I like that I don't ever have to worry about being alone because I have them all as my family. You would think so, but there's really not as much freedom here as everyone thinks. We all pitch in for chores, do our part and work together. Can’t be that loud monday thru fridays past 11:30. 

(9:45) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Really? Is that why you have three months worth of cleaning detention? Isn't that like being grounded? Or at least under house arrest.

(9:45) - Topaz -  
Ah, but bombshell, it also means an hour of quality time with the billiards table. 

(9:46) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
...you’re a bit strange, Topaz.

(9:47) - Topaz -  
Oh shut it, billiards is my soulmate 

(9:48) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
But I thought I was your whole world?

(9:49) - Topaz -  
Times change. If anything, you're the mistress, and I’m being unfaithful to the billiards table. My hands typing on the keys instead of stroking that beautiful cue.

(9:50) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I refuse to be the mistress.

(9:50) - Topaz -  
Come on, it's kinkier that way!

(9:51) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh, my god. I'm sure if you were ever to see me you would realize I am not 'kinky' at all.

(9:52) - Topaz -  
Well, it's either you or the inanimate object that has too many stains to count. 

(9:53) - Topaz -  
So I'm gonna go with you.

(9:53) - Topaz -  
Also – you should stop putting yourself down like that. I'm sure you're beautiful 

(9:54) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I have previously described myself as ginger (devil spawn, some would say) and my newly found nickname is based upon how pale I am.

(9:55) - Topaz -  
Some people dig that, you know.

(9:55) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
What people?! I've not met one who ever has

(9:56) - Topaz -  
Well

(9:56) - Topaz -  
I mean

(9:56) - Topaz -  
We've not technically met but

(9:57) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh, please.

(9:57) - Topaz -  
What

(9:58) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Are you honestly trying to say that you think pale gingers are attractive traits to possess?

(9:58) - Topaz -  
They can be on some people.

(9:58) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
And what makes you think I'm one of them?

(9:59) - Topaz -  
Bc you keep trying to insist that you're not.

(10:00) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I have to go. Talk to you later, Topaz. 

*

(9:56) - Sweets-  
Why are you so red in the face dude? You look like you have a sunburn 

(9:57) - Toni -  
Nothing

(9:57) - Fangs -  
It looks like a blush

(9:57)- Toni-  
Fangs shut up

(9:58) - Fangs -  
You are totally blushing

(9:58) - Fangs -  
Oh my god is it the stranger you're texting???

(9:58) - Sweets -  
I thought you said she was a quiet girl. Not ur type usually, T.

(9:59) - Toni -  
So? I'm totally not blushing.

(9:59) - Fangs -  
I'm staring at you right now. You just got redder. When I mentioned the stranger.

(10:00) - Toni -  
Ah, fuck off you guys. Look, I just tried telling her that shes probably not as ugly as she thinks, ok?

(10:00) - Toni -  
And now she totally ghosted me. How could I have offended her by calling her hot ???

(10:01) - Fangs -  
What did you say? To assure her she’s 'not ugly'.

(10:01) - Toni -  
I just said based on what she told me she’s prolly  
attractive.

(10:02) - Sweets-  
Maybe it's a homophobic thing. Did she even ever say she liked girls?

(10:03) - Toni -  
She doesn't strike me as being homophobic. Also shit phones about to be taken from Honey.

(10:03) - Fangs -  
Hah, dumbass, got your phone taken. So you'll see this later today. Oh well, my point still stands.

(10:03) - Fangs -  
You blushed.

*

Tuesday PM

(3:34) - Topaz -  
Are you homophobic?

(3:36) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
What

(3:36) - Topaz -  
You didn't seem thrilled at the prospect that I think you're really really ridiculously good looking.

(3:37) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Was I meant to fall at your feet, Zoolander?

(3:38) - Topaz -  
No, just

(3:38) - Topaz -  
You iced me out, man.

(3:40) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
Honestly, I really just had to go.

(3:41) - Topaz -  
So it's not a homophobic thing?

(3:41) - 🌙💣🐚-  
I can assure you 1000000% I am not homophobic.

(3:42) - Topaz -  
Good

(3:42) - Topaz -  
Good good good.

(3:43) - 🌙💣🐚-  
You're saying good here just a little too much.

(3:43) - Topaz -  
Can't I just be glad my friends aren't bigots?

(3:44) - Topaz -  
I say I love the trailer park and the Southside but there are a lot of shit people here. A whole gang of them. They're vile, and they're mostly related to me.

(3:44) - Topaz-  
My first text to you, the flooding? It was that asshole I was targeting. Small victory, but he had to sleep in one of our dugouts, only his jacket as a pillow for a week. It was awesome.

(3:45) - Topaz -  
So yeah, like, I have a zero tolerance policy on Bigotry and Stupidity

(3:45)-🌙💣🐚-  
This is greatly reassuring.

(3:46) - 🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm, uh, glad you're a good person.

(3:46) - Topaz -  
It's only just struck me that I could be texting a serial murderer or something.

(3:50) - 🌙💣🐚-  
Well, don't rule it out just yet.

(3:52) - Topaz -  
I have to go to the bar now. Cya, bombshell.

(3:52) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Have fun with your mistress, Topaz.

*

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:03) -Topaz -  
Leftover mediocre chicken for dinner! Woo!

(12:04) -🌙💣🐚-  
Oo, does it come with real meat?

(12:04) -Topaz-  
Surprisingly, yes.

(12:05) -Topaz-  
*1 image attached*

https://www.gtgoodtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/0301food1.jpg

(12:06) -🌙💣🐚-  
That doesn't look so bad. You’re covering some good food groups. Fries, plate, chicken. 

(12:06) -Topaz-  
Oh yeah you bet I am. But it’s not so bad until you realize it's from the same dinner I made a week ago and forgot I left in the fridge. 

(12:07) -🌙💣🐚-  
Ah. There's the catch.

(12:07) -Topaz-  
Let's see your lunch then, if you think you can top me.

(12:08) - 🌙💣🐚-  
Um, I don't... yeah, ok.

(12:09)- 🌙💣🐚-  
*1 image attached*

https://www.gtgoodtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/0301food1.jpg

(12:10) -Topaz-  
Maybe I’m living a fever dream but that looks like a little kids airplane meal?

(12:11) -🌙💣🐚-  
I like to portion my food properly. 

(12:11) -Topaz-  
You sound like an old man. Or a soccer mom who dropped the kids off for a sleepover and went for brunch with a bunch of bitches named Karen and Susan and has her Fitbit ready to go.

(12:12) -🌙💣🐚-  
Charming. And no, that’s a little extreme. just breakfast in bed.

(12:13) -Topaz-  
It's the afternoon! And I thought I was lazy!

(12:13) -🌙💣🐚-  
It's not laziness. I'm on vacation. And I'm allowed to relax.

(12:14) -Topaz-  
There's relaxing, and then there's giving up. Are you dressed?

(12:14) -🌙💣🐚-  
... No.

(12:15) -Topaz-  
I rest my case. 

(12:15) -🌙💣🐚-  
Well I'm going to further add to your case and stop this conversation so I can have a nap.

(12:16) -Topaz-  
Seriously?!

(12:17) -🌙💣🐚-  
Yes. Shut up. My head hurts.

(12:17) -Topaz-  
Good night, Karen

(12:18) -🌙💣🐚-  
Funny. good night Topaz.

*

(1:06) -Toni-  
Boys, I’m gunna describe some things to you and you are going to help me come up with a diagnosis.

(1:07) -Juggy-  
Really, T? I'm going to fail this class.

(1:08) -Sweets-  
Jug, you fail every class. What do you need, Tiny?

(1:08) -Juggy-  
Only cuz u guys are constantly blowing up this groupchat at the worst times. Remember my English exam last year?

(1:09) -Fangs-  
Jones, we have no time for your cynicism. There is a puzzle to be solved, and I’m guessing it has to do with our resident hopeless lesbian and her dying love for that mystery woman.

(1:09) -Toni-  
Hey! I’m not that hopeless >:(  
Anyway, are u losers gonna help or not? 

(1:10) -Sweets-  
Hell yeah, Tiny. I’m down to be your personal WebMD lol

(1:11) -Juggy-  
Oh God srsly, T? you’re still talking to her? Dude she’s probably a dude. A really old one.

(1:11) -Toni-  
Don't make me delete you from the gc, Jones.

(1:12) -Fangs-  
We’re listening. Right, Jug?

(1:12) -Juggy-  
Come on then. You owe me free shots at the bar though.

(1:13) -Toni-  
Ok, first symptom that keeps happening is low self esteem and headaches like every day

(1:14) -Toni-  
Along with that is she’s apparently mad pale, over sleeping, and spends a lot of time in bed.

(1:15) -Sweets-  
Didn't you tell me that she was our age? Seniors like to sleep, you know.

(1:15) -Toni-  
But, but, look at this:

(1:15) -Toni-  
*1 image attached*

https://www.gtgoodtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/0301food1.jpg

(1:16) -Toni-  
And shes never mentioned class or homework or any of that shit. She said she’s homeschooled but even so, you’d mention something right? And that doesn't look like a normal 17 year olds lunch, does it? 

(1:16) -Sweets-  
Ugh, I hate eating that kinda shit. That was my only source of nutrients that entire time  
in the hospital when I got my appendix out. You guys remember that?

(1:16) -Juggy-  
Lol there’s a difference between getting your appendix taken out and getting it shot out, Pea.

(1:17) -Fangs-  
I see what you're talking about, though T.

(1:17) -Toni-  
AND, ALSO, she skipped breakfast and didn't even finish it. Yknow what she did instead? Took a fucking nap.

(1:18) -Juggy-  
So... shes sick.

(1:18) -Toni-  
No shit, Sherlock, but with what?

(1:19) -Fangs-  
We're not doctors, Toni. All we know is the shit we’ve learned from being on the Southside our whole lives.

(1:19) -Juggy-  
Why don't you just ask her if you two are bffs

(1:20) -Toni-  
That's tactless, Jug.

(1:20) -Juggy-  
It's straight forward! 'Hi, couldn't help noticing that you sent me a picture of hospital food. What's up with that?'

(1:21) -Toni-  
She seems like a private kind of person. I don't want to scare her away.

(1:21) -Fangs-  
I'm gonna have to go with Jug on this one. Just ask her, and if she refuses to answer, move on. It's not your problem, Toni

(1:22) -Sweets-  
maybe she just doesn’t like talking to u and pretends to sleep lol

(1:22) -Fangs-  
I can see you pouting. I know what you're thinking.

(1:22) -Fangs-  
You can't expect to save her, T.. She’s getting help. At least there's that comfort.

(1:23) -Toni-  
Small comfort. Doctors can only do so much. And fuck off, Sweets.

(1:23) -Fangs-  
And so can friends that have never even met. I'm sure your persistent messaging has been some light in her day, though.

(1:24) -Juggy-  
That makes one of us.

(1:24) -Juggy-  
FUcK

(1:24) -Sweets-  
HAH JUGHEAD GOT HIS PHONE TAKEN LOL

(1:24) -Fangs-  
HE WAS NEVER THE MOST DISCREET TEXTER

(1:25) -SWEETS-  
I WAS WAITING FOR WHO WOULD GET CAUGHT FIRST LMAO

(1:25) -Juggy-  
If you keep texting Mr Jones’ phone, yours will all be confiscated too. Do you understand?

(1:25) -Toni-  
Yes ma’am 

(1:26) -Juggy-  
Wrong answer. Bring your phone to the front.

(1:26) -Juggy-  
And tell Mr Fogarty to stop laughing or he'll get a detention.

*

Thursday AM

(10:12) -Topaz-  
Hi, couldn't help noticing that you sent me a picture of hospital food yesterday. What's up with that?

(10:12) 🌙💣🐚-  
That's... tactless.

(10:13) -Topaz-  
Damnit, I knew it was but

(10:15) 🌙💣🐚 -  
But?

(10:16) -Topaz-  
Idk. Stupid question, but are you ok, Bombshell?

(10:17) 🌙💣🐚 -  
I have good days and bad days.

(10:17) -Topaz-  
And how's today looking?

(10:18) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Not great but... not terrible either.

(10:19) -Topaz-  
Why didn't you tell me you were sick?

(10:20) 🌙💣🐚 -  
‘Hello stranger, I’m living out my days locked in my own metaphorical tower because I have a chronic disease. Oh also my family is a nightmare.’ 

(10:20) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Look, I've never spoken to anyone who hasn't immediately known who I was just from the colour of my hair. So it was nice that I had someone who didn't think I was a freak. Or that I could just possibly die in the middle of our comversation. I stay at home all day every day. My parents moved me into our attic. I have a doctor that monitors me. And I eat hospital food because my parents don’t want to deal with making sure I’m eating everything I need to survive. 

(10:21) -Topaz-  
Oh my god. That’s some seriously fucked logic on their part. Least they could do is make you like, a sandwich or something :/ and...could that potentially happen? You dropping dead? Bc that would be traumatic, for one thing.

(10:22) 🌙💣🐚 -  
No, T, it could not potentially happen. No offense, but when I'm making my death bed I'm not going to be texting you about my meals.

(10:23) -Topaz-  
Nah, you Instagram that shit.

(10:23) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Caption: this meal is so bland it's killing me.

(10:24) -Topaz-  
OhNMy god I shouldnnoT BE LAUGHING

(10:24) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Ahem. Going to Hell's Kitchen.

(10:25) -Topaz-  
CHRIST NO I SHOULD NOT HAVE OPENED THIS DOOR

(10:26) -Topaz-  
Hey, what makes you think I'm going to hell anyway?

(10:26) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You used the Lord's name in vain.

(10:27) -Topaz-  
Your family... religious weirdos?

(10:27) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Actually, yes, but I was just being a smartass

(10:28) -Topaz-  
Oh, I know.

(10:30) -Topaz-  
Hey, Bombshell? The other night, did you lie saying you were eating pops? 

(10:30) 🌙💣🐚 -  
...yeah. I know it’s what literally everyone loves and I didn’t wanna scare you off.

(10:31) -Topaz-  
You couldn’t scare me even if you tried, Bombshell.

(10:31) -Topaz-  
So, are we cool?

(10:31) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Yes, I suppose so.

(10:31) 🌙💣🐚 -  
We're cool. 

*

(11:00) -Fangs-  
Update, Doctor Tiny?

(11:03) -Toni-  
Nothing solid. Chronic disease. Apparently she’s a big name from around here, not that I’d know what that is...

(11:04) -Fangs-  
Did you use the Jughead approach?

(11:04) -Toni-  
Yes, and I'm going to kill the little rat bc I was right.

(11:05) -Fangs-  
You're always right, T.

(11:05) -Toni-  
Hell yeah I am.

(11:06) -Fangs-  
You're almost like a genius... so smart and intelligent...not to mention so beautiful...

(11:06) -Toni-  
I'm going to agree here but I am cautious...

(11:07) -Fangs-  
Can you help me with the Trig work? I zoned out while he was speaking and now I don't know what's going on.

(11:07) -Toni-  
You know this happens when you sit behind Kevin.

(11:08) -Fangs-  
I wasn't strong enough today.

(11:09) -Toni-  
Fine. You buy the beer this week though.

(11:10) —Fangs-  
DEAL NOW GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.

*

(11:11) -Juggy-  
Hey while you do Fangs' work come do mine too

(11:12) -Toni-  
No, your methods of handling delicate situations sucks.

(11:12) -Juggy-  
We all know we shouldn't take my advice.

(11:13) -Juggy-  
But... it did get you an answer, didn't it?

(11:14) -Juggy-  
Hmmmmmm Toni?

(11:15) -Toni-  
Fine. You buy the beer for next week though. And stay awake long enough for it to be fun.

(11:15) -Juggy-  
DEAL NOW COME DO THIS SHIT!

*

Friday PM

(2:23) -Topaz-  
It's a Friday.

(2:23) -🌙💣🐚-  
Thank you for informing me. I'll alert the authorities.

(2:24) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Should I be preparing myself for drunk texting again?

(2:25) -Topaz-  
Oh come on. I do it once, and now it's a 'thing'?

(2:25) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Just wondering if I should prepare my answers for the inevitable 20 questions.

(2:26) -Topaz-  
I've already found out the important parts.

(2:26) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Virginity and health status?

(2:27) -Topaz-  
You betcha :) But maybe I’ll drunk text you a lil smth smth ;););)

(2:27) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Easy tiger. Never said I was interested in you.

(2:28) -Topaz-  
Oh, so you’re not interested? And here I thought my wittiness and charm were winning you over

(2:28) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I don't know how to tell you this, but two girls being together is the worst thing you could really do around my area. 

(2:28) -Topaz-  
Bit of saliva will fix it all up.

(2:29) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Ohhhhh my god.

(2:30) -Topaz-  
Stay calm, Bombshell, we have very comprehensive Sex Ed in the form of rubbers being flung around like a giant game of slingshot and empty beer cans over on the Southside

(2:30) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Drunk??? That's all you guys get???

(2:31) -Topaz-  
There's also a few pamphlets at my school in the councillors office. Except there is no councillor. The doors been locked for the last 4 years. 

(2:31) -🌙💣🐚 -  
This isn't making me fear any less for you and your friends.

(2:31) -🌙💣🐚 -  
No health classes at all??

(2:32) -Topaz-  
Wow, you really are concerned, huh?

(2:32) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I feel it's only fair that if I had to have the sex talk with my priest (extensively) then you can get a freaking health lesson.

(2:24) -Topaz-  
Were there diagrams?

(2:24) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Yes.

(2:24) -🌙💣🐚 -  
He even had a special guest appearance by the local convent’s doctor. She brought dummies.

(2:25) -Topaz-  
DUMMIES?? I THINK SHE SHOULD HAVE LEFT THOSE AT HOME.

(2:25) -🌙💣🐚 -  
OH MY GOD NO THE NUN DID NOT BRING A BLOW UP DOLL THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

(2:26) -Topaz-  
TOO LATE I AM ENVISIONING IT

(2:26) -🌙💣🐚 -  
CHRIST I MEANT LIKE PHYSICAL MODELS OF GENETALIA. LABELLED AND STUFF. OH GOD.

(2:27) -Topaz-  
YOU HAVE DUG A HOLE BOMBSHELL!

(2:27) -🌙💣🐚 -  
GETTING BACK TO MY EARLIER POINT will I be bombarded with messages

(2:28)-Topaz-  
Of course not, Bombshell. I'll let you sleep.

(2:28) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Thank you, Topaz. Have a good night.

*

Saturday AM

(1:13) -Topaz-  
BOMBSHELL BABYYYY

(1:15) -🌙💣🐚 -  
no

(1:15) -Topaz-  
OkAYbye

*

Saturday MIDDAY

(12:08) -🌙💣🐚 -  
You lied to me.

(12:09) -Topaz-  
Technically, it wasn't Friday anymore, so I upheld my end of the deal.

(12:10) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Still woke me up at an ungodly hour.

(12:11) -Topaz-  
Sorry. How can I make it up to you?

(12:12) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I want to sleep now. I demand a bedtime story.

(12:12) -Topaz-  
This should be interesting...

(12:13) -Topaz-  
Ok, ok.

(12:14) -Topaz-  
There once was the most beautiful girl in the universe... with the most glorious hair...

(12:14) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Is this character's name Topaz, by any chance?

(12:14) -Topaz-  
NO INTERRUPTING

(12:15) -Topaz-  
But yes. Her name so happens to be Topaz..

(12:15) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm psychic.

(12:16) -Topaz-  
Is that what they call your illness?

(12:16) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Ha-ha.

(12:16) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Keep going.

(12:17) -Topaz-  
Yes, thank you.

(12:18) -Topaz-  
The most handsome girl with glorious hair, found to be named Topaz, stumbled upon a lonely, gruesome castle.

(12:20) -Topaz-  
As she approached the drawbridge, she was intercepted by a fearsome, ugly creature.

(12:21) -Topaz-  
Let's call it Fangs.

(12:22) -Topaz-  
Fangs had the most grotesque growths erupting from his temples like antlers, that snagged on the arch of the drawbridge, making deep depressions in the brick.

(12:23) -🌙💣🐚 -  
You're actually quite good at this.

(12:23) -Topaz-  
I know. I get an A in English. Now shut up.

(12:25) -Topaz-  
The most God-like Topaz, who also happened to be a knight, approached the beast with confidence.

(12:26) -Topaz-  
“Creature," she called out to it, "What business have you here?"

(12:27) -Topaz-  
“I could ask the same of you, fuckwit," the delinquent creature replied.

(12:28) -Topaz-  
But Topaz was unperturbed. "I am here to rescue the fair princess from your evil clutches!"

(12:29) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Please tell me I'm not the princess

(12:30) -Topaz-  
You're not the princess 

(12:30) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh thank god.

(12:32) -Topaz-  
“You must kill me first!" Fangs roared, and charged at the knight with antlers his antlers at the ready, hoping to impale his victim.

(12:33) -Topaz-  
But Topaz was too quick, and ducked to the side of Fangs. While the creature was caught off guard, she slipped her golden, diamond encrusted blade into its ribcage and pierced its heart.

(12:34) -Topaz-  
It died.

(12:35) -🌙💣🐚 -  
That's anti-climatic.

(12:36) -Topaz-  
ITS DYING SCREAMS COULD BE HEARD THROUGHOUT THE KINGDOM, ALL THE CITIZENS' BLOOD RAN COLD AT THE NOISE. THE BEAST KEELED OVER, CLUTCHING AT ITS BLEEDING CHEST, AND HOWELED FOR THE MERCY OF THE LORD AND FOR ITS MOTHER. "OH BRAVE KNIGHT," HE GASPED, "ONLY YOU WERE WORTHY OF KILLING ME. YOU MAY PROCEED TO THE PRINCESS.”

(12:37) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Smart ass.

(12:38) -Topaz-  
The brave Topaz passed the corpse of the beast, proceeding on the drawbridge and entering the castle courtyard. There she found the princess.

(12:39) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Just hanging out in the courtyard?

(12:39) -Topaz-  
Bombshell I still have a hangover, this is the best I can do.

(12:40) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Fine, fine. Continue.

(12:41) -Topaz-  
The princess gazed upon the knight, in awe of her heroic deeds, and opened her arms to welcome her. "Bravest woman I know," she smiled, "Lord Topaz, come to me. I must thank you for saving me from the beast. Come, closer, so I may look upon your gorgeous face.”

(12:42) -Topaz-  
Topaz, slightly creeped out, approached the princess, asking her, "And what is your name, Your Highness?"

(12:45) -Topaz-  
“My name is Jughead. Closer, young one, so I may touch your hair."

(12:46) -Topaz-  
By this point, Topaz was thoroughly weirded out, and stopped in her tracks. "Nah, don't think I will," she said to Jughead, "I've changed my mind. Cya later."

(12:47) -Topaz-  
But Jughead was not happy with that. "NO YOU NEED TO COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, I MUST TOUCH THAT SEXY, JUICY MOST VOLOMPTIOUS ASS!," she exclaimed, but when Topaz turned, Jughead had transformed into a giant, grey rat, her teeth sharpened like needles and eyes yellow and beady. Upon reflection, Topaz didn't think she looked all that different from when she was human.

(12:48) -🌙💣🐚 -  
That's mean.

(12:49) -Topaz-  
Shhhh

(12:50) -Topaz-  
Jughead the rat had started at Topaz, launching at her quickly; capturing Topaz in her evil clutches. She tried to bite at the princess’ neck, but at the same time, thick red blood came pouring from the rodents mouth instead, drenching Topaz in the process. It was hella gross.

(12:52) -Topaz-  
Once Topaz had managed to get the fat, slumping beast’s hands off her body, before her was revealed to be her dashing hero, clad in a red shimmering cape with her bow arched from where she had shot the arrow. The arrow she shot had emplaned the beast!  
The hero was pale and kinda tall with brown eyes, but super fuckin hot in that lankier kinda way.

(12:53) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Jesus Christ

(12:54) -Topaz-  
Sweat was glistening from her smooth, perfectly arched brow, and extended one arm to Topaz as she said, "Come friend, you are safe now. We must run off into the sunset and live happily ever after."

(12:55) -Topaz-  
So Topaz took the Deadeye’s hand, and they both ran off into the sunset and lived happily ever after. The end.

(12:56) -Topaz-  
Was that any good?

(12:57) -🌙💣🐚 -  
It was entertaining, for sure.

(12:58) -Topaz-  
Sleepy yet?

(12:59) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh yeah. But there are two screaming children here now. This is what the rapture sounds like.  
My niece and nephew are the rapture. 

(1:00) -Topaz-  
Just remember that you were once a screaming child too.

(1:02) -🌙💣🐚 -  
You still are a screaming child.

(1:02) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I'm going to try to nap, regardless.

(1:03) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Thank you for the tale, Lord Topaz. You have a real flare in story telling.

(1:04)-Topaz-  
Thank you, Bombshell.

(1:05) -Topaz-  
(Don't tell the punk rock brigade)

*

Sunday PM

(3:22) -Topaz-  
Do you like dancing, Bombshell?

(3:23) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I like watching. I've never tried though, never could.

(3:23) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Do you dance?

(3:23) -Topaz-  
Yeah, we've got a football match today. I’m the third in life for captain of the cheerleading squad (not to brag), I’m pretty important. Go Southside!

(3:24) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Do you have to wear the short skirts?

(3:25) -Topaz-  
yeah...

(3:25) -🌙💣🐚 -  
And the knee high socks?

(3:25) -Topaz-  
What are you getting at?

(3:26) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Just building a mental picture.

(3:26) -Topaz-  
Creep.

(3:26) -🌙💣🐚 -  
If it helps, I’ve always watched the actual dance routines of the teams, not so much anything else. It’s like if I did my mother and father would know and I’d be burned at the stake. 

(3:27) -Topaz-  
I don't doubt that, Cheerleader.

(3:28) -Topaz-  
I've got to get going to the actual game now. Cya later, Bombshell.

(3:28) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Good luck Topaz.

(3:28) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Go Southside :)

*

(7:56) -Topaz-  
WE WON LIKE I KNEW WE WOUL! WE WOOOOOON BABYYYY

(7:57) -🌙💣🐚 -  
CONGRATULATIONS

(7:58) -Topaz-  
BUT I MAY HAVE SPRAINED MY ANKLE

(7:59) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh, of course you did. What did you do?

(8:00) -Topaz-  
I may have tried to show off against the opposite team’s complete bitch of a head cheerleader and so, I went over to their side to dance battle and shit lol. Long story short the football somehow ended up in front of me and I kicked it and it rolled my ankle in the process. 

(8:00) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Yikes

(8:01) -Topaz-  
Ok, if I'm going to be 100% honest

(8:01) -Topaz-  
I wasn't aiming for the ball.

(8:02) -🌙💣🐚 -  
You were aiming for someone?

(8:02) -Topaz-  
...yes.

(8:03) -🌙💣🐚 -  
So, you kind of deserved this.

(8:03) -Topaz-  
You say that, Bombshell... but if you knew this bitch...

(8:04) -🌙💣🐚 -  
Did she get any injuries?

(8:05) -Topaz-  
SHE FACE PLANTED INTO THE TARMACAND HIS NOSE WAS LIKE A VOLCANO

(8:05) -🌙💣🐚 -  
You seem too excited by this.

(8:05) -Topaz-  
IT WAS AWESOME

(8:06) -🌙💣🐚 -  
I’m concerned 

(8:07) -Topaz-  
Look, she cheated on Sweetpea back in the day. Everyone hated and still does hate him and all of us by association. Fucking Veronica Lodge, man. 

(8:07) -Topaz-  
I may have gotten a bit angry seeing her face again.

(8:08) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Is Sweetpea alright?

(8:09) -Topaz-  
Oh yeah, he's fine. He doesn't have a sprained ankle or anything.

(8:09) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Fine. Are you ok, Topaz?

(8:10) -Topaz-  
Oh I'm fine. There are people surrounding me here trying to feed me shit and give me massages.

(8:11) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Oh god. They aren't taking advantage, are they?

(8:11) -Topaz-  
Hell no. I actually kinda want them to leave, but they won't

(8:11) -Topaz-  
ONE OF THEM IS IN MY HAIR THIS HAS TO STOP NOW

(8:12) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You're a bit sensitive, huh?

(8:12) -Topaz-  
NO ONE TOUCHES MY HAIR

(8:13) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You just finished dancing and flying around, how good is your hair going to look anyway?

(8:14) -Topaz-  
MASTERFULLY TUSSLED. BUT NOW THAT'S BEEN RUINED.

(8:14) -Topaz-  
I CAN'T EVEN GET UP TO ESCAPE.

(8:15) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Only the good die young.

(8:15) -Topaz-  
NOT HELPING

(8:15) -Topaz-  
SEND REINFORCEMENTS.

(8:16) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Where's Fangs? Or your damsel in distress Jughead?

(8:16) -Topaz-  
GOOD IDEA BOMBSHELL! 

*

(8:16) -Toni-  
Jug.

(8:17)-Toni-  
YO JUGHEAD.

(8:18) -Toni-  
WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY DOING THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME

(8:19)-Toni-  
Ughhh

(8:19) -Toni-  
When you read this bring over some beer my foot hurts bad.

*

(8:18) -Toni-  
FANGS! WHERE ARE YOU I NEED IMMEDIATE BACKUP IN THE STUDENT LOUNGE

(8:18) -Fangs-  
not now Toni im with Kevin!

(8:19) -Toni-  
what?!!!

(8:19) -Toni-  
Did you kidnap him? Bc I swear I’m not hiding anyone’s body!

(8:19) -Fangs-  
no no I think it's finally happening Toni, seriously! shit gotta go!!! Love u!

(8:19) -Toni-  
WHAT

*

(8:20) -Topaz-  
RED ALERT JUGHEAD IS M.I.A!

(8:20) -Topaz-  
AND I THINK FANGS IS FINALLY GETTING WITH 'THE ONE'

(8:21) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Aw good for him :)

(8:21) -Topaz-  
OUT OF ALL THE TIMES THIS COULD HAPPEN IT'S WHEN I NEED BACKUP???

(8:21) -Topaz-  
I don't even like grapes.

(8:22) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Are they seriously feeding you grapes? Are they fanning you too? My god the TORTURE!

(8:22) -Topaz-  
No, no fanning but they're applying ice to my ankle now

(8:22) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You’re so over dramatic 

(8:23) -Topaz-  
You’re just jealous that I’m being fed grapes

(8:30) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You don’t like grapes

(8:30) -Topaz-  
I can still get them loser :P

(8:31) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You’re a pain in the ass.

(8:32) -Topaz-  
No :( shut up.  
Ok they're gone now. 

(8:32) -Topaz-  
Just me on my own now while everyone else is up and partying.

(8:33) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Minor detail I feel like you’re missing, though. 

(8:33) -Topaz-  
Mm??

(8:33) 🌙💣🐚 -  
You being objected to pampering by a group of pretty people. Poor you. 

(8:34) -Topaz-  
Just don't like them up in my personal space, ya know?

(8:34) -Topaz-  
Especially my hair.  
If you could see it, you would be in awe. The mere natural shine it possesses would be blinding!

(8:35) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Haha, yeah ok. 

(8:36) -Topaz-  
Aw the party brought me shots :”) 

(8:37) 🌙💣🐚 -  
Have fun T. Be safe, and um...

(8:38) 🌙💣🐚-  
Text me when you’re home safe. Goodnight.

(8:38) -Topaz-  
Thanks for the support tonight Bombshell.


	3. Can I Call You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making Kevin and Fangs the secondary couple instead of Betty and Jughead rn because I have a lil storyline for that one. Anyway, theyre getting closerrrrr

Monday AM

(9:12) -Topaz-  
It's a Monday morning and my head is killing me.

(9:13) -Bombshell-  
Your mistake, shot foot.

(9:13) -Topaz-  
I knoooooooow, I knoooooow don't rub it in.

(9:14) -Topaz-  
In other news: Fangs is dating 'the one'! Alert the news outlets.

(9:14) -Bonbshell-  
How does that make you feel?

(9:15) -Topaz-  
Wow, do people actually say that?

(9:15) -Bombshell-  
My old psychologist did and I had to refrain from laughing every time.

(9:16) -Topaz-  
You saw a psychologist?

(9:16) -Bombshell-  
Most teens with a chronic illness do. No big deal.

(9:16) -Topaz-  
Hey, I'm not judging. Don't gotta play it off, Bombshell. 

(9:17) -Topaz-  
Anyway, yeah, Im super stoked for him. I don't think he's stopped smiling for twelve solid hours. It looks painful.

(9:17) -Topaz-  
Only downside is that he still won't shut up about his boyfriend and this time he has solid fact to back up his stupid, whimsical purple prose about how nice his hair looks and how adorable his nose is, and stuff.

(9:18) -Bombshell-  
That's adorable.

(9:19) -Topaz-  
Ughhhhhhhh donnnnnntttttt

(9:19) -Bombshell-  
All right, all right. Do you feel replaced, by any chance?

(9:20) -Topaz-  
Absolutely not, Bombshell. I can assure you there are no actual hard feelings toward the situation and I look forward to the day I get to be best man at their wedding. Mostly bc I'll get to make an embarrassing speech.

(9:21) -Bombshell-  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between these two very gay men, and that one time Prongs did something really embarrassing that I will now tell you all about."

(9:22) -Topaz-  
"I remember the first time Fangs told me about kissing his now husband, and how he described it as like kissing fireworks. What a pretentious dickhead."

(9:23) -Bombshell-  
Did he really?

(9:23) -Topaz-  
Oh yeah. I used up all my good manners for the year to not laugh.

(9:24) -Bombshell-  
Do you not believe him?

(9:24) -Topaz-  
Maybe. I guess it's the 'the one' thing.

(9:25) -Bombshell-  
Have you kissed anyone before?

(9:26) -Topaz-  
A few girls here and there, hell even Jughead. But we were very drunk. Anyway, It was nice, but it wasn't fireworks.

(9:27) -Topaz-  
Have you kissed anyone?

(9:27) -Bombshell-  
Yeah.

(9:28) -Topaz-  
How was it?

(9:29) -Bombshell-  
It was good at the time. Only one person. No fireworks for me either but, yeah, it was really special. but thinking about it now makes me feel a little sick.

(9:30) -Topaz-  
You deserve way better, Bombshell. I'm sorry. 

(9:31) -Bombshell-  
Oh, it's ok. It's not that I even particularly knew what I was feeling but... 

(9:32) -Bombshell-  
Well, my mother made me believe a lot of things about them. Unfortunately, I don't know what's the truth and not. I've spent countless hours listening to my mother's twisted tales of my deviltry.

(9:32) -Bombshell-  
That's probably more than you wanted to know.

(9:33) -Topaz-  
Do you still see them?

(9:34) -Bombshell-  
Hah, yeah, they're in my little tower of entrapment actually. 

(9:34) -Bombshell-  
No, I haven't seen them since I was 13. 

(9:35) -Bombshell-  
Honestly, this isn't a tragedy story. I've probably made it sound worse than it is.

(9:36) -Topaz-  
What was their name?

(9:39) -Bombshell-  
Uhm... Heather.

(9:40) -Topaz-  
You kissed a girl..

(9:40) -Topaz-  
I bet listening to that one Conan Gray song takes you to a whole other level.

(9:41) -Bombshell-  
Her last name is even funnier, but I don't think I should tell you that.

(9:41) -Topaz-  
Damn, I feel like I've missed out.

(9:42) -Bombshell-  
How so?

(9:43) -Topaz-  
All the stalking opportunities... and beating up opportunities...

(9:43) -Bombshell-  
Topaz.

(9:44) -Topaz-  
Hey, just saying. The offer is there.

(9:45) -Bombshell-  
I think I'll take that as a token of great friendship 

(9:46) -Topaz-  
Oh, you bet. No one messes around with my Bombshell. 

(9:46) -Topaz-  
Ah shit I didn't meant it like that, fuck... ignore me. I'm still drunk!!! 

(9:56) -Bombshell-  
Damn, and I was hoping youd come beat up my doctor for me. He won't let me outside.

(9:57) -Topaz-  
Climb out the window.

(9:58) -Bombshell-  
Wow, Topaz you are a genius. I'll bring the IV bag down with me. Maybe use it to scale out the window like Rapunzel.

(9:59)-Topaz-  
Fine. Next time he tries to, idk, inject you with something, take the needle from his hand and jab it into his neck. And flee to freedom.

(10:00)-Bombshell-  
Maybe I should really reconsider that I might be texting a murderer.

(10:01)-Topaz-  
Probably. I'm about to kill Fangs. They're making out right in front of my locker.

(10:02) -Bombshell-  
Find a needle. Jab it into your own neck.

(10:02) -Topaz-  
Will a pen do?

(10:03)-Bombshell-  
Only if you jab it hard enough.

(10:05)-Topaz-  
I threw a paper ball at them and now I think Fangs will kill me himself.

(10:06)-Bombshell-  
I'll testify at the trial. You did not deserve to die in so cruel a fashion. I'll start crying on the spot too, hobble around the courthouse like a dying old lady. Score you some points.

(10:07) -Topaz-  
How sweet of you, Bombshell, I may just cry :")  
What's happening on your end?

(10:08)-Bombshell-  
Uh... nothing really... Im watching some old movie I've seen a dozen times...  
In the last week :/

(10:10)-Bombshell-  
Oh my. My parents are home early. I have to go, Try not to kill Fangs. I'll text you later.

(10:13) -Topaz-  
I make no promises.

*

(9:56) -Lover boy-  
What the fuck, Toni!

(9:57) -Toni-  
KISSING by my LOCKER

(9:57) -Lover boy-  
Oh come on let me have this.

(9:58) -Toni-  
Are you going to keep telling me his hair smells like cherry blossoms and his voice is made of dew or something like that??

(9:59) - Lover Boy -  
No, look, I'm sorry if I go on about it... I really don't mean to.

(10:00) -Toni-  
Im joking, Fangs! I'm just making fun of you. I love Kevin and I think you're adorable together 

(10:00) -Toni-  
Really, you are an inspiration to us all.

(10:01) - Lover Boy -  
How so?

(10:02) - Toni -  
If you whine and pine long enough something might come of it.

(10:03) - Lover Boy -  
Oh, shut up. You know, you're getting a bit that way yourself.

(10:04) - Toni-  
What?

(10:05) - Lover Boy -  
Whining and pining

(10:05) -Toni-  
About what?

(10:06) -Lover Boy-  
More about 'who'

(10:06) -Toni-  
Who who? Who's who? Who's who who who's?

(10:06) -Lover Boy-  
That stranger you message.

(10:07) -Toni-  
Bombshell?

(10:07) -Lover Boy-  
OH MY GOD YOU GAVE HER A NICKNAME

(10:08) -Toni-  
WELL I HAD TO CALL HER SOMETHING

(10:08) -Lover Boy-  
WHAT HAPPENED TO SUGAR TITTIES!

(10:09) -Toni-  
IT WAS BC OF YOU I CHANGED IT

(10:09) -Lover Boy-  
Wow. This is either super weird or super romantic.

(10:10) -Toni-  
I'm going to murder you.

*

Monday PM

(8:34) -Bombshell-  
I never asked – how's your ankle?

(8:35) -Topaz-  
Oh, Bombshell, my sweet little muffin, you do care!

(8:35) -Bombshell-  
Okay byeeee—-

(8:35) -Topaz-  
It's fine. I have crutches and I get to hit people with them. Especially Sweetpea, the ungrateful idiot.

(8:36) -Bombshell-  
He's not fawning over you for your heroic deeds?

(8:36) -Topaz-  
No! He's not! He should be the one feeding me grapes.

(8:37) -Bombshell-  
Your own man servant. I have one of those too. I press a button and they come running. All I want is the window open.

(8:38) -Topaz-  
That's cruel abuse of power, Bombshell.. I love it.

(8:38) -Topaz-  
How were your parents?

(8:39) -Bombshell-  
As terrible and awful as ever. But, I mean we did have a meeting with the doctor today and he thinks I can maybe start doing some things on my own. Vacation is over :(

(8:39) -Topaz-  
All good things must come to an end.

(8:40) -Topaz-  
I'm glad you're.. I wanna say better but I don't exactly know from what, but I'll go with it anyway hehe

(8:40) -Bombshell-  
Thanks. You're like my very own cheerleader

(8:40) -Bombshell-  
Gotta go. Man-servant says if I don't get proper sleep I'll have to stay in this attic longer. It sounds like a threat.

(8:41) -Topaz-  
One day I'll beat up your man servant for you. And your parents. Good night, Bombshell.

(8:41) -Bombshell-  
Good night, Topaz.

*

Tuesday AM

(11:12) -Bombshell-  
Do you ever find that you have more stuff when your packing to go home. (Yes go home, it's a whole floor down!)

(11:12) -Bombshell-  
Even though half of your socks are missing?

(11:13) -Topaz-  
Oh yeah. I also gain, like, three extra ties too.

(11:14) -Bombshell-  
Wait, you wear ties? How genderbent of you. 

(11:14) -Topaz-  
Hey! It looks good on me, Bombshell! Plus, what else am I meant to wear on snazzy speakeasy nights.

(11:15) -Bombshell-  
Apparently if you have three. Speakeasy nights? 

(11:15) -Topaz-  
Southside mingling with the Northsiders. Our schools viscerally hate each other. 

(11:15) -Bombshell-  
You're kidding. You're just across the tracks from each other if I remember properly, why do you guys hate each other so much?

(11:16) -Topaz-  
Eh, rich snobby northsiders hate us because they think we're all drug running punks who like to do really messed up stuff like... kill for fun.

(11:16) -Bombshell-  
That's stupid. You guys seem sweet from what I hear, besides that Tall Boy.

(11:17) -Topaz-  
Do you have to wear hospital gowns?

(11:17) -Bombshell-  
No, because I don't conform to stereotypes. They're only for surgery etc.

(11:18) -Bombshell-  
I do wear the bracelet, however.

(11:19) -Topaz-  
What, like the plastic ones they put on babies?

(11:19)-Bombshell-  
Yes, Topaz, like they put on babies. Because they are in a hospital.

(11:21) -Topaz-  
So how's your packing going?

(11:21) -Bombshell-  
Terrible. You won't shut up.

(11:22) -Topaz-  
You started it.

(11:22) -Bombshell-  
I DON'T EVEN OWN PINK SOCKS WHOSE ARE THESE

(11:23) -Topaz-  
HAHA I ONCE ENDED UP WITH JUGHEADS BOXERS. IT WAS HORRIFIC.

(11:24) -Bombshell-  
Oh my god, they're Archie's. They have little guitars on them and everything. 

(11:25) -Topaz-  
I threw Jug's boxers at his head. Try that.

(11:26) -Bombshell-  
He'd kill me. Anyhow, I can't leave the house soooo I'll just keep them. Theyre thermal anyway.

(11:27) -Topaz-  
Who's Archie, anyway?

(11:28) -Bombshell-  
My best friend besides Betty. He's a nerd, Betty is the more cool, artistic, crime solving type. I used to call her Nancy Drew when we were young.

(11:28) -Bombshell-  
They were kinda a thing for a while but then Idk, life was too much. 

(11:29) -Topaz-  
Talk about beating stereotypes. Bombshell, you're killing it.

(11:29) -Bombshell-  
What?

(11:30)-Topaz-  
Best friends with the girl who took your man.

(11:31) -Bombshell-  
Oh my GOD NO

(11:31) -Bombshell-  
just

(11:31) -Bombshell-  
noooooooooo. Betty's my cousin and ew, Archie? No thanks. We don't need to bring more redheads into the world!

(11:32) -Topaz-  
You don't really mention your friends to me. You practically know Fangs and Sweetpea's life stories. And that Jughead is a massive idiot.

(11:34) -Bombshell-  
Not much to say, really. There's only so much mischief three unpopular teenagers can get up to. Especially when ones been confined since age 15.

(11:34) -Bombshell-  
We definitely can't flood a whole house.

(11:35) -Topaz-  
You could try though, and get thrown into jail for it. My parents would be beyond pissed. This house is like, a family heirloom or something

(11:36) -Topaz-  
Exactly. It'd be fun, Bombshell.

(11:37) -Bombshell-  
Oh, Archie's awake, and has read my text. 

(11:38) -Bombshell-  
HAH – "where the hell have these been I've been looking for them everywhere!"

(11:39) -Topaz-  
Say nothing, do nothing.

(11:40) -Bombshell-  
Me – "Oh, that's strange."

(11:40) -Bombshell-  
Archie – "YOU DID THIS DIDN'T YOU"

(11:41) -Bombshell-  
He even used my full name.

(11:41) -Bombshell-  
"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO HARD WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TEXTING" we're on the phone now 

(11:42) -Topaz-  
Abort mission, he knows too much!

(11:42) -Bombshell-  
HES COMING OVER GOOD BYE TOPAZ! HE WANTS THE SOCKS!!'

(11:42) -Topaz-  
I will make a heartfelt speech at your funeral. Good luck, Bombshell. I'll miss you!

*

Tuesday PM

(7:08) -Topaz-  
How did the attack go?

(7:09) -Bombshell-  
He tickled me and I made this horrible squealing sound that he won't let me live down.

(7:09) -Topaz-  
Wow I wish I was there to hear that.

(7:10) -Bombshell-  
I sounded like a pig in slaughter.

(7:10) -Topaz-  
Last night in the attic, huh?

(7:11) -Bombshell-  
Yeah. For now, at least. Betty and Archie have thrown a farewell part over FaceTime.

(7:11) -Bombshell-  
As much a party as an internet connection can provide. Theyve done quite well, though.

(7:12) -Topaz-  
Hey our internet connection is great :P 

(712) -Topaz-  
Am I interrupting?

(7:12) -Bombshell-  
No, no, it's not started yet. Betty thinks it's a surprise though. Don't tell.

(7:13)-Topaz-  
Your secret is safe with me, Bombshell.

(7:14) -Bombshell-  
Betty seems to think you're a middle aged man preying on me, however.

(7:15) -Topaz-  
Ooo so you've told her about me, huh?

(7:16) -Bombshell-  
It was either continue to be tickled or tell them both. And I can't fight them both off. At one point Betty threatened to go through the messages, which is not happening on my watch.

(7:16) -Topaz-  
Do they know I go to Southside?

(7:17) -Bombshell-  
They do not.

(7:17) -Topaz-  
I see. Good call.

(7:18) -Bombshell-  
Do your friends know about me?

(7:18) -Topaz-  
Oh yeah. Jughead thinks it's a little weird, Sweetpea thinks it's hilarious and Fangs loves it.

(7:19) -Bombshell-  
And what do you think? About the whole situation?

(7:20) -Topaz-  
I think it doesn't matter how it happened. Just that I'm glad it did.

(7:20) -Topaz-  
I think you underestimate how much I like talking to you, Bombshell.

(7:21) -Bombshell-  
I guess I just don't really understand... why.

(7:21) -Bombshell-  
Wait, you don't have to answer that.

(7:22) -Topaz-  
I like talking to you bc you're funny in a twisted kind of way. And you're insightful and helpful and idk, you're just cool. I've never met someone like you. 

(7:23) -Topaz-  
You're a good person, Bombshell. I really hope you're not a middle aged man preying on me.

(7:25) -Topaz-  
Bombshell? 

(7:25) -Bombshell-  
I'm sorry. I don't know what to say that isn't completely stupid.

(7:26) -Topaz-  
Just take the compliments and run. 

(7:27) -Bombshell-  
Thank you, Topaz. I gotta go now, I'm being surprised. Really, though. Thank you.

(7:28) -Topaz-  
No problem. Party hard.

*

Wednesday AM

(9:44) -Topaz-  
Hungover?

(9:45) -Bombshell-  
Do you honestly think I would be allowed to drink in a hospital, let alone my crazy parents torture chamber of a house?

(9:46) -Topaz-  
No, but I'd like to hear that you tried.

(9:47) -Bombshell-  
Let's just say I looked at a bottle of wine once and my mother grounded me. It set a strong precedent.

(9:47) -Topaz-  
YOUR MOTHER GROUNDED YOU   
You literally don't go anywhere

(9:48) -Bombshell-  
It was 'dangerous and reckless' to even think about. And upon reflection, it really was. I could have killed myself had I tried. 

(9:49) -Topaz-  
Oh right, fuck, the sick thing.

(9:50) -Bombshell-  
Correct grammar: fuck the sick thing.

(9:51) -Topaz-  
Fuck the sick thing.

(9:51) -Topaz-  
Where are you now?

(9:52) -Bombshell-  
I'm waiting for my family to bubble wrap my room and bathroom while a priest blesses the house. My mom thinks I'm texting Betty, and I'm not about to correct her.

(9:52) -Topaz-  
Would she think it's weird?

(9:53) -Bombshell-  
Far beyond that.

(9:53) -Topaz-  
They told us in grade 4 about the dangers of the 'cyberspace'

(9:53) -Topaz-  
Apparently what they meant was that there are cute girls there

(9:54) -Bombshell-  
I don't need to hear your internet history.

(9:55) -Topaz-  
That's not

(9:55) -Topaz-  
Ok

(9:56) -Bombshell-  
House is ready. I'll text you when I'm settled in. 

(9:57) -Topaz-  
Welcome home, Bombshell.

*

(9:55) - Cheryl -  
Emergency.

(9:56) - Betty-   
What's happened?

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
She called me cute. I think. I'm pretty sure.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god I don't know. Maybe I'm being self centered.

(9:58) -Archie-  
When have you even been self centered? Really, Cheryl.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Ok, ok.

(9:59) -Betty-  
What did you say?

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
Nothing!

(10:00) -Cheryl-  
I pretended that I interpreted it another way. She didn't correct me but...

(10:01) -Archie-  
Oh, Cher.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Now is not the time to be fond, Arch.

(10:02) -Archie-  
I can't help it. You're like a lost puppy.

(10:03) -Betty-  
Okay caaaalm down, kids. Look, shes probably freaking out too right now. Because you ignored her move, and she just called a stranger cute.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
This wasn't – she wasn't hitting on me.

(10:04) -Betty-  
Are you sure? I think complimenting someone's appearance is the first step to hitting on them.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Is that what Archie did?

(10:05) -Betty-  
No, he literally hit me and then spent the next 24 hours apologizing.

(10:05) -Archie-  
Hey! I didn't mean to, my glasses broke and I didn't know where I was tossing the football 

(10:07) -Betty-  
I think, if she compliments you again, or alludes to liking you in a more-than-a-friend-way, you need to get in there, Cher.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
And why do I need to 'get in there'?

(10:08) -Betty-  
So you can stop freaking out and texting me every time the girls says boo.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
This is the first time! And you guys are supposed to support me!

(10:09) -Betty-  
Yeah, and I get the feeling it's gonna happen some more.

(10:10) -Archie-  
So supportive, Betts.

(10:10) -Betty-  
I'm glad I could help. Have fun in your bed. Love you.

(10:11)-Cheryl-  
Love you too guys.

*

(9:54) -Juggy-  
What's up with you?

(9:55) -Toni-  
What?

(9:55) -Juggy-  
I can feel the whole table shaking from your kicking legs

(9:56) -Toni-  
CAN YOU FEEL THIS

(9:57) -Juggy-  
DUDE YOU KNOCKED MY BOOKS OFF THE TABLE

(9:57) -Toni-  
My kicking legs know no bounds.

(9:58) -Juggy-  
Seriously, you look like you're going to faint or something.

(9:59) -Juggy-  
Dude?

(10:00) -Toni-  
Jughead, really, I'm fine. You know if I wasn't you'd be the first person I tell.

(10:01) -Juggy-  
Just wondering if all our jokes and shit would stop that by me going too far. Because I don't want it to, Toni. I'm still here for you. Always. You're like my sister.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Thank you, lover.

(10:02) -Juggy-  
Oh come on, I'm tryna have a moment.

(10:03) -Toni-  
I just need to think stuff over then I'll let you know, ok?

(10:04) -Juggy-  
Ok.

(10:04) -Toni-  
Flirt.

(10:04) -Juggy-  
John Green bitch.

*

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:53) -Bombshell-  
I've done it. I've reached heaven. It has home made meals.

(12:54) -Topaz-  
Unfair. Lasagna today. ¾ of it is just cheese. The remaining quarter is pasta.

(12:54) -Topaz-  
I'm having pasta sheets and cheese.

(12:55) -Bombshell-  
Homemade fried rice.

(12:56) -Topaz-  
You're so smug.

(12:57) -Bombshell-  
I am. I've nearly forgotten what food tastes like.

(12:58) -Topaz-  
You mean it's not all made of plastic?

(12:58) -Bombshell-  
Not in the real world, my friend.

(12:59) -Topaz-  
Summer break; we still don't eat proper food.

(1:00) -Bombshell-  
I get the impression that you eat a lot of chips and anything with cheese

(1:01) -Topaz-  
Don't forget the energy drinks that power the punk.

(1:02) -Bombshell-  
Gross.

(1:03) -Topaz-  
Let me guess: fruit and vegetables?

(1:03) -Bombshell-  
What gave it away.

(1:04) -Topaz-  
Your overwhelming health. You're just so full of energy.

(1:04) -Bombshell-  
Energized enough to flip you off.

(1:05) -Topaz-  
Oh, Bombshell, how scandalous.

(1:06) -Bombshell-  
My dearest mother is calling me to do my work now. I'll talk to you later, Topaz.

(1:06) -Topaz-  
Always a pleasure, Bombshell.

*

(2:09) -Fangs-  
I'm having a serious problem, lads and lesbian.

(2:10) -Jughead-  
Wait, are you have a serious problem?

(2:10) -Fangs-  
I just said I was 

(2:11) -Jughead-  
I mean: is the problem actually minute, but you are blowing it to serious proportions?

(2:11) -Fangs-  
You make me sound like a drama queen, Jug.

(2:12) -Jughead-  
That's because you are, bud.

(2:12) -Fangs-  
Last time I invite you to my coronation bitch.

(2:13) -Tiny-  
Men! Concentrate!

(2:13) -Jughead-  
Sorry, Fangs., continue.

(2:14) -Tiny-  
AT YOUR SERVICE, CAPTAIN.

(2:15) -Fangs-  
It's his birthday next week.

(2:15) -Jughead-  
You said this wasn't a serious problem.

(2:16) -Tiny-  
This is a legit concern, Jug! Like, what on earth will he get him?!

(2:16)   
Thank you, Tiny.

(2:17) -Tiny-  
I was being sarcastic, Fangs. Really? We're in the middle of a test.

(2:17) -Sweetpea-  
Speaking of, what did you guys get for ten?

(2:18) -Fangs-  
Option C

(2:18) -Jughead-  
C

(2:19) -Sweetpea-  
Fuck ok thanks

(2:19) -Fangs-  
I'm being for real here, guys.

(2:20) -Sweetpea-  
Ask him what he wants, man.

(2:20) -Fangs-  
He says we haven't been going out long enough for me to buy him a present and stuff.

(2:21) -Sweetpea-  
Just take him out somewhere on the weekend then. Have dinner or something.

(2:21) -Jughead-  
Revolutionary, Sweets. We overlooked the fact that dating entails actual dates. Fangs, you're a moron.

(2:22) -Fangs-  
You really think that'll be enough?

(2:22) -Tiny-  
You could always try serenading him, but that didn't work out last time.

(2:23) -Fangs-  
Point taken. Thanks guys.

(2:23) -Fangs-  
Oh, and Sweets. The answer for 6 is A. Just to let you know.

(2:24) -Sweetpea-  
I'm not an idiot. Don't lie to me.

(2:24) -Jughead-  
Nah, for real Sweetpea

(2:25) -Sweetpea-  
CHARLES DICKENS DID NOT WRITE THE NOTEBOOK.

(2:26) -Tiny-  
Didn't he though?

(2:26) -Fangs-  
It is a classic, Sweets.

(2:27) -Jughead-  
Good boy. Circle A. Good job.

(2:27) -Sweetpea-  
Stop watching me, weirdo. And stop texting me. Both of you.

(2:28) -Jughead-  
Fine, Sweets

(2:28) -Jughead-  
Guess we won't help you anymore.

(2:29) -Tiny-  
You're just mad because you don't have a friendship like us 

(2:30) -Sweetpea-  
Fuck off.

*

Thursday AM

(11:24) -Topaz-  
Can I ask a question?

(11:24) -Bombshell-  
If I don't want to answer, can I substitute it for another?

(11:25) -Topaz-  
I'll allow that. But it means you have to answer the first question at some point.

(11:26) -Bombshell-  
Deal.

(11:26) -Topaz-  
Can you tell me about your family thing?

(11:27) -Bombshell-  
Hmmmm...

(11:28) -Bombshell-  
No, I think I'm going to pass on that today. Sorry.

(11:29) -Topaz-  
That's ok. When's your birthday?

(11:30) -Bombshell-  
August 18th

(11:31) -Topaz-  
Do you do anything special?

(11:31) -Bombshell-  
Not really. Last year I slept through it. We used to go to the beach, me and my friends but we haven't done that it a few years.

(11:32) -Bombshell-  
Why did you ask for my birthday?

(11:32) -Topaz-  
Bc it would be tragic if we were texting one day and I didn't know! And you – you wouldn't tell. You'd just let me talk about my socks or something while you wore a party hat and had people sing to you.

(11:33) -Bombshell-  
We do actually have a tradition of NOT singing. So.

(11:33) -Topaz-  
That's terrible! You have to sing! You have to make the birthday person as uncomfortable as possible!

(11:34) -Topaz-  
I like to throw in a lap dance sometimes.

(11:34) -Bombshell-  
Free of charge? How generous.

(11:35) -Topaz-  
Hey, if you're nice you'll get one too. Especially since you can't afford me anyway.

(11:35) -Bombshell-  
Mhm. We'd run out of all our dog treats :)

(11:36) -Topaz-  
Bitch!

(11:37) -Bombshell-  
Yes you are. I have to get back to doing work now. I'll talk to you later.

(11:37) -Topaz-  
Cya later Bombshell.

*

Thursday MIDDAY

(12:02) -Topaz-  
I know you said you were working, but I have just discovered my stripper name. It's not actually that good, but I followed the formula so it must be legit.

(12:02) -Topaz-  
I'll drumroll myself.

(12:02) -Topaz-  
*DRUMROLLS EXCITEDLY*

(12:03) -Topaz-  
Amber Alert. Depressing, right?

(12:03) -Bombshell-  
I'd stuff you back into the cake you popped out from and then probably call the cops. What was this formula you were talking about?

(12:04)-Topaz-  
...Well I was making a joke that clearly didn't land, but if you'd like to give it a go it's the Name of your first pet and the street you live on.

(12:08)-Bombshell-  
...Snuffleshill

(12:08) -Topaz-  
Sorry but Snuffles? Really? That's what you named your pet?

(12:09) -Bombshell-  
Snuffles was a Chihuahua. Me and my brother rescued her as kids. 

(12:09) -Topaz-  
You may have love that dog but no one should be cursed with the name Snuffles!

(12:10) -Bombshell-  
Well, guess what your new name is, then?

(12:11) -Topaz-  
You wouldn't.

(12:12) -Bombshell-  
I would. In fact it's your new contact name, Snuffles

(12:12) -Snuffles-  
Just thought this was pressing information.

(12:12) -Bombshell-  
Oh, it was, and I appreciate being informed. Until next time, Snuffles.

(12:13) -Snuffles-  
I hate you

*

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
Lap dances! Stripper names! I don't understand what is happening here!

(12:16) -Betty-  
I think you're probably overreacting.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Really?!

(12:16) -Archie-  
I can't even tell anymore.

(12:17) -Betty-  
Did you know, Cheryl, that friends joke with each other?

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
Not really. I have you. And Arch. Do we joke about lap dancing?

(12:18) -Betty-  
No, but at the same time we're not very vivacious. This girl sounds like she is, though.

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
Which is why I'm confused. Do I take this as a joke or...

(12:20) -Archie-  
This is purely texting, right?

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Yeah

(12:21) -Archie-  
Then you're probably going to have to interpret it as joking. Because you have nothing else to base it off.

(12:21) -Betty-  
Can I ask you something?

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I guess.

(12:22) -Betty-  
Do you like this girl??

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Betts.

(12:23) -Betty-  
Well, do you want her to be joking about all this stuff? Because it sounds like you don't.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
You know I'd never be allowed to. My mother would serve my head on a platter to the congregation.

(12:25) -Archie-  
You're allowed to like her, Cheryl.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
Please stop.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
Im deviant. It's wrong. I can't.

(12:26) -Archie-  
It's also the 21st century and we know you aren't homophobic. So DONT let your parents turn this into an even more of an internalized thing. 

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
It's safest. I need to be safe.

(12:27) -Betty-  
You need to let yourself be you, Cheryl. I know you're lonely, especially with Jackie O and your barely there nightmare of a father looming around constantly. For fucks sake they locked you in an attic for three years. Give yourself this one thing.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
I'm not lonely.

(12:28) -Betty-  
There's no point lying to you, right?

(12:28) -Cheryl-  
Right....

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Fine. Fine, fine, fine.

(12:30) -Archie-  
Adda gurl!!!

*

Thursday MIDNIGHT

(11:55) -Bombshell-  
Are you awake?

(11:56) -Snuffles-  
Almost always.

(11:56) -Snuffles-  
Surprised you're awake, though.

(11:57) -Bombshell-  
Getting back to sleeping in my own bed despite never having actually left the house is taking some adjusting. It's nice though, just laying in my bed.

(11:57) -Snuffles-  
Ugh I wish I could. These guys are gross here. I can hear their gross dude noises from my trailer.

(11:58) -Bombshell-  
Ew.

(11:58) -Snuffles-  
So, what did you want to talk about?

(11:59) -Bombshell-  
Oh, well, um...

(12:00) -Bombshell-  
Thought I'd cash in on that question.

(12:01) -Snuffles-  
It hasn't even been 24 hours!

(12:01) -Snuffles-  
Don't feel obligated. It's none of my business.

(12:02) -Bombshell-  
I mentioned it in the first place.

(12:02) -Snuffles-  
Yeah because I was pressuring you. Really, Bombshell, you don't have to.

(12:03) -Bombshell-  
No, the only reason why I'm so hesitant is... I've never told anyone before. Archie and Betty have always kind of just... known about my life. Seen it. Experienced some of it. But telling someone... it's new. And scary.

(12:03) -Bombshell-  
And it's not even that big of a deal. This was meant to be Me, Not Making it a Big Deal.

(12:04) -Snuffles-  
I think it is a Big Deal, but you keep downplaying it bc you think it's not a big deal by other's standards.

(12:04) -Snuffles-  
So, you still don't have to tell me if you don't want to for any reason.

(12:05) -Bombshell-  
But it's holding me back from doing... things. And it was suggested that I, in crude terms, 'get over it,' so I can get on with doing things. I guess the first step of getting over it is to tell someone about it. And hey, you asked, so here you go.

(12:06) -Snuffles-  
Don't take this the wrong way, please, but didn't you say you had a psychologist?

(12:07) -Bombshell-  
Mandated child psychologist. Sees everyone in the hospital ward. Group therapy. All the nines. But she would want to talk to mother dearest about it, so, no thanks.

(12:07) -Snuffles-  
Ok then. Tell me about the family thing, which we have now come to call it.

(12:08) -Bombshell-  
I guess like most cliché stories, it started when I was a kid. I was out by Sweetwater River with my brother, Jason, whom I mentioned earlier.   
Anyway, we were just playing as we always did. My parents weren't ever really present I suppose, but they loved JJ so much. More than they loved anything. I kept badgering him to go swim with me because I didn't really know how, so he relented and we went in. He wanted me to stay by the shore, yknow so I'd be safe, and I got annoyed. I was always being told what to do and it was exhausting. So I swam farther out, while he was taking his shoes off. He turned around when he noticed I hadn't said anything, probably. But the bottom of the river ended and I just sank. I couldn't swim up or breathe. JJ jumped in after me, he was my twin but he was better at everything, especially anything athletic. He swam down and grabbed me, helping me to the surface. I was in and out of conscious but he swam me to where the edge of the river met my feet and I crawled out. He didn't. His... his foot got caught in one of the weeds in the water and he couldn't fight it. I tried to do something, threw a stick and I was gonna go in after him but he stopped me. Told me to run for help so I did, tears streaming down my face and my lungs burning. Finally I made it home and told my father that Jason was stuck and they took off. Later the doctors... coroners or whoever said he had suffered brain damage too, so it was believed he hit his head at the bottom on a rock or something while he was waiting. 

(12:09) -Snuffles-  
Fuck.....

(12:10) -Bombshell-  
Anyway, it went downhill from there. I wasn't allowed to go back to school, I wasn't allowed to see my friends for a few years. No phone, no internet, no movies or music. Just my own thoughts to keep me  
company. My parents had me locked up in the attic because if they had me committed, image their reputation, huh?   
Anyway, people made up rumours and myths but over time the story just disappeared. I'm a household name that no one wants to say. They think I killed him, I think. They wishes it was me instead.my mom more so than my dad, though.   
After they had found me with Heather, well, they blamed me for being gay as the reason my brother died cause clearly that makes sense.

(12:11) -Bombshell-  
I was a kid and my parents sent me to Sister of Quiet Mercy for... idk, conversion or something. 

(12:12) -Bombshell-  
There was a little girl there and she said we should play truth or dare. One of the truths, she asked me if I was gay. I said yes. She picked truth, I asked her if she was gay, and she said she used to be.

(12:13) -Bombshell-  
I then picked dare because I hadn't yet, and she dared me to kiss her. And because I thought we were just playing and it wouldn't matter I did

(12:13) -Snuffles-  
I'd like to interrupt for just a second to ask for you to repeat how gay you are 

(12:14) -Bombshell-  
so, so gay.

(12:14) -Snuffles-  
Thank you. Continue.

(12:15) -Bombshell-  
So, I kissed her. Two security guys came in and grabbed me. I was crying and asked why it was happening and the head of the convent, Sister Woodhouse, said she was helping me. Saving me for god. But I didn't feel like I needed saving. it felt right kissing girls. Like it was normal and natural. 

(12:17) -Bombshell-  
The next day when my mother showed up, I asked if I could go home and they said no. I stayed there for a year. 

(12:17) -Snuffles-  
WOAH WAIT WHAT? A YEAR? YOU WERE A CHILD

(12:18) -Bombshell-  
When I asked the other troubled youth about the truth or dare thing they said it's what they do. Gives them an excuse to torture us.   
Went home a year later and it's never been the same. 

(12:19) -Snuffles-  
I'd hate to break this to you Bombshell, but even by regular people standards, this is a Big Deal.

(12:19) -Snuffles-  
It is also categorized as a Gregarious Dick Move.

(12:20) -Bombshell-  
Hah, you got that right.

(12:21) -Bombshell-  
So, there we have it. The Family thing.

(12:22) -Snuffles-  
And you're still living there? Why haven't you ran?

(12:22)   
My family is very powerful. I wouldn't make it past the front door. But believe me, I've never stopped imagining what the world outside is like.I suppose I'm more snappy then I used to be with them. 

(12:23) -Snuffles-  
You haven't been outside since you were a child..?

(12:23) -Snuffles-  
I think your parents deserves more than 'snappy'. Let's go for, 'waspish,' 'aggravated,' slowly move our way toward 'murderous.'

(12:24)   
The transition will be so smooth they won't understand why there's a pillow smothering their faces

(12:25) -Snuffles-  
That's what I like to hear!

(12:25)   
Just a casual bit of murder to finish the night.

(12:26) -Snuffles-  
How are you feeling about it?

(12:27)   
A little better, I guess. Mortified, actually.

(12:27) -Snuffles-  
Dude, youre like living in a Midsommar-esque movie of your own. Which is by any means not your fault. Personally, I'd like to meet them and, say, push them out a window. I'm sure my friends would be happy to join.

(12:28)   
Calm down, Game of Thrones.

(12:28) -Snuffles-  
I'd have a catchphrase while I do it, too. Like, idk, 'FOR BOMBSHELL!' and out the window.

(12:29)   
I think you need to work on your catchphrase a bit.

(12:30) -Snuffles-  
Shush, it's too late for thinking.

(12:31)   
Thank you, Topaz.

(12:31) -Snuffles-  
I didn't really do anything, Bombshell.

(12:32)   
Just for... listening. Offering to assassinate them. Not making it seem like I'm broken... Stuff like that.

(12:32) -Snuffles-  
We're all a little broken.  
I don't mind. 

(12:33)   
Oh good and here I thought I was the only one

(12:34) -Snuffles-  
HAH no, no. Go to sleep, Bombshell.

(12:34)   
Ok. You too, though.

(12:35) -Snuffles-  
Yeah, yeah. Good night, Bombshell.

(12:35) Good night, Snuffles.

*

Friday AM

(10:15) -Juggy-  
Ok, I wasn't going to mention it, but you look murderous.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Have you ever wanted to hurt someone you've never met?

(10:16) -Juggy-  
I'm guessing the entire Harvard school board doesn't count.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Not quite.

(10:17) -Fangs-  
So, what did Bombshell do?

(10:18) -Toni-  
Oh, god, nothing. It's what someone did to her.

(10:18) -Sweets-  
What did they do to Bombshell?

(10:19) -Toni-  
Short story: her parents are crazy and abusive and sent her to a Christian convent. She hasn't left the house in years. 

(10:19) -Juggy-  
And this warrants a beating?

(10:20) -Toni-  
Yes!!

(10:20) -Juggy-  
Ok, ok, just making sure I don't bust out the brass knuckles and get excited for nothing.

(10:21) -Toni-  
It's frustrating, guys. Shes god knows where and I'm here. I can't beat up people from here.

(10:21) -Sweets-  
Have you ever considered meeting the girl? She lives in Riverdale or nearby, I'm guessing.

(10:22) -Toni-  
Obviously I've thought about it.

(10:23) -Sweets-  
And?

(10:23) -Toni-  
She won't even tell me her real name. I told her to call me Topaz and I'm getting sick of hearing my last name that much at this point.

(10:24) -Fangs-  
Then I guess you just have to be patient. Write a list of people to beat up for later.

(10:24) -Toni-  
... Still frustrating.

(10:25) -Fangs-  
Yeah, I know. So close yet so far.

(10:26) -Toni-  
What made Kevin change his mind from thinking you're Southside scum to wanting to bone you?

(10:26) -Fangs-  
He said I had matured. I guess hes right.

(10:27) -Juggy-  
You guess? When was the last time we set off the school sprinklers?

(10:27) -Sweets-  
Do you want to set off the sprinklers?

(10:28) -Fangs-  
Yeah, but, we've established that I have to wait.

(10:28) -Juggy-  
I guess that marks your level of evolved maturity.

(10:28) -Toni-  
I'm very specific for when I'm suddenly not mature anymore.

(10:29) -Fangs-  
That's how you've always been though. Cheer up, T. At least Bombshell hasn't hated you for six years before talking to you.

(10:29) -Toni-  
Ahh, yes. It always makes me feel better when we compare things to your failed love life. Like, damn Fangs. You're sad.

(10:30) -Fangs-  
Yes, yes, I suck and I know it. I shouldn't have brought this up. You can stop smiling now.

(10:30) -Toni-  
No.

*

(11:24) -Snuffles-  
My grandfather is here. Need immediate back up. Possibly a SWAT team.

(11:25)   
Too many candies?

(11:25) -Snuffles-  
Yes. He also keeps asking me about girlfriends.

(11:26)   
Whoops.

(11:26)   
Does your family know?

(11:27) -Snuffles-  
Well, I only have my grandpa. But everyone on the Southside knows, though. Theyre just being useless sitting around the fire pit laughing. 

(11:28) -Snuffles-  
Oh my god hes moved onto University.

(11:29)   
HAHA. So what are your plans for the future?

(11:29) -Snuffles-  
Not becoming a grandparent, for one.

(11:30)   
I think the gay thing nipped that in the bud.

(11:30) -Snuffles-  
So did my infertility. There are such things as miracles. She at least won't ask about kids now.

(11:31) -Snuffles-  
I hope Fangs has a kid so I can hang out with it, but don't actually have to raise it.

(11:32)   
Strategic. I like it. Also means to get to have fun with and without a child.

(11:32) -Snuffles-  
Exactly! So, do you want kids of your own?

(11:33)   
Maybe if the crazy family thing skips a generation.

(11:34) -Snuffles-  
The world is cruel, Bombshell.

(11:34) -Snuffles-  
Grandpa: Toni looked weird as a boy.

(11:34) -Snuffles-  
Thanks Grandpa, I'm right here and still a girl.

(11:35)   
HAHA HOW CHARMING

(11:35) -Snuffles-  
Man, I love old people.

(11:36) -Snuffles-  
Naked baby photos. Oh no. He's busting them out for the guys. 

(11:36)   
I'm missing out.

(11:37) -Snuffles-  
Don't perve on my baby pictures!

(11:37)   
Oh my god no. I'm all for humiliation. Not peadophilia.

(11:38)   
Thank god for that. You sound more and more like a criminal every day.

(11:39) -Snuffles-  
Do you like the danger, Bombshell?

(11:40)   
The potential danger of being killed by a stranger I text everyday? No, can't say I do.

(11:40) -Snuffles-  
Would it change your mind if I told you I have a motorcycle?

(11:41)   
...Do you seriously?

(11:41) -Snuffles-  
Yes, we all do.

(11:42)   
Oh my god.

(11:42) -Snuffles-  
What?

(11:43)   
That's really cool.

(11:43) -Snuffles-  
Aw, Bombshell, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

(11:44)   
Can you ride it?

(11:44) -Snuffles-  
Technically? Yes. Legally? Not quite.

(11:45) -Snuffles-  
Yeah, breathe in that danger.

(11:46)   
Mmmm, smells like dead pedestrians.

(11:46) -Snuffles-  
I'll have you know that only myself and Fangs have been injured since the creation of the bike.

(11:47)   
Creation?

(11:47) -Snuffles-  
Yeah, I built it from scratch.

(11:48)   
That's amazing. That's... incredible.

(11:49) -Snuffles-  
Aw, shucks. We all make our bikes over here ourselves. Right of passage and all. 

(11:49)   
Does it have a name?

(11:50) -Snuffles-  
Is that something you do?

(11:50)   
Well, you made it. It's like a child in itself.

(11:51) -Snuffles-  
I'll have to brainstorm, and then I'll get back to you.

(11:52)   
Please, do. If it's anything like your stripper name, it'll be interesting to say the least.

(11:55)   
Topaz?

(11:58) -Snuffles-  
We're gonna have topostopone that brainstoms Bambshill. I just ran intoa pole andi thinki have a concucssion goodbye

(11:59)   
Oh my god Topaz.

(12:00)   
I'm sorry, I'm laughing but I can't stop.

(12:01)   
You're a handful. 

(12:02) -Snuffles-  
Dikc

*

Friday PM

(2:32) -Fangs-  
I'm sorry, you ran into a pole because you were too busy texting?

(2:33) -Fangs-  
Let me guess: you were texting Bonbshell?

(2:34) -Toni-  
she likes my bike.

(2:34) -Fangs-  
AND THEN YOU RAN INTO A POLE AND GAVE YOURSELF A CONCUSSION

(2:34) -Juggy-  
Shh Fogarty, inside voice, precious Tiny is resting off a walk into a pole.

(2:35) -Toni-  
call me Tiny again and I'll use a pole to whack your head

(2:35) -Toni-  
see how you like it

(2:36) -Juggy-  
Look, Fangs, she must be sick, her texting has gone all slack.

(2:37) -Toni-  
I'm just texting how you do, Jug.

(2:37) -Sweets-  
Gentlemen, at ease. We must let the handsome princesses sleep. She will be infuriated later when we tell him she can't drink.

(2:38) -Toni-  
WHAT

(2:38) -Sweets-  
Shh Toni you must rest.

(2:39) -Toni-  
I'm going to murder you

(2:39) -Juggy-  
And no texting your girlfriend, either.

(2:40) -Toni-  
And I'm going to torture you.

(2:41) -Fangs-  
Good night, sweet Princess Antoinette.

(2:41) -Juggy-  
Sleep tight, iddy biddy 

(2:42) -Toni-  
fuck you both

*

Saturday

(9:02) -Snuffles-  
I slept through a Friday night.

(9:03)   
So did I. How boring.

(9:03)   
What happened to you?

(9:04) -Snuffles-  
I, um, ran into a pole.

(9:04)   
I'm sorry, what? Can you repeat that in simpler terms?

(9:05) -Snuffles-  
HEAD GO BANG ON POLE.

(9:05)   
WHY HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

(9:06) -Snuffles-  
BC I WAS TOO BUSY TEXTING YOU, YOU IDIOT. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. MY HEAD HURTS AND IT'S PURPLE.

(9:07)   
So, did you sleep the whole day?

(9:07) -Snuffles-  
Yes. I also get to spend today in bed bc why not, my ankle is sprained too.

(9:08)   
Poor baby.

(9:08) -Snuffles-  
Everyone needs to stop patronizing me.

(9:09)   
I'm sorry. Are you ok?

(9:09) -Snuffles-  
I will be.

(9:10)   
Do you have a game tomorrow?

(9:10) -Snuffles-  
Yep

(9:11)   
Will you get to cheer?

(9:11) -Snuffles-  
Hopefully. That's why I'm taking today off.

(9:12)   
...It's Saturday.

(9:12) -Snuffles-  
There's still things that need to be done on a Saturday.

(9:13) -Snuffles-  
Like tending to Elvendork.

(9:13)   
Is that meant to be the bike?

(9:14) -Snuffles-  
Yes!

(9:14)   
What kind of name is that!

(9:15) -Snuffles-  
A unisex one!

(9:15)   
I expected something like... Midnight Beast, Raven's Plume, something dark and sinister.

(9:16) -Snuffles-  
Raven's Plume? What year are we in?

(9:16)   
I still think it's better than yours.

(9:17) -Snuffles-  
Too bad, Bombshell. My bike. My namedhjcnc

(9:17) -Snuffles-  
Hi there this is Fangs, I have to confiscate Topaz's phone now so she'll sleep. Bless her. She's got a boo-boo. And god, what a foul mouth. Did you know that when we were eleven she laughed so hard she peed herself? Classic Topaz. Always a silly one.

(9:18) -Snuffles-  
Hang on, I think she wants to say good bye.

(9:18)   
Be careful, if Fangs dies now I'm classified as a witness.

(9:19) -Snuffles-  
It's me, and I'm not going to murder him. I'm going to lock him away and torture him slowly. OK HE'S REACHING FOR THE PHONE BYE BOMBSHELL

(9:19)   
Be strong, Snuffles.

*

Sunday AM

(11:43) -Snuffles-  
Saturday was a long day.

(11:43)   
Oh, you're back.

(11:44) -Snuffles-  
Let's just forget the whole thing happened, yes?

(11:45)   
Do you mean when Fangs took your phone, or when he told me you peed yourself when you were eleven?

(11:45) -Snuffles-  
I'm going to say both. Forget both. Delete it now.

(11:46)   
But whatever will I blackmail you with now?

(11:47) -Snuffles-  
I was hoping we could avoid blackmail.

(11:47)   
Nonsense. Strong friendships are built on blackmail.

(11:48) -Snuffles-  
I don't know what kind of friends you have over there, but ditch them now.

(11:48)   
I don't have many, as you know. Archie and Betty

(11:48)   
Uh, you.

(11:49) -Snuffles-  
Thinking about it, I have Fangs, Jug, Sweets, I guess Kevin now...

(11:49) -Snuffles-  
And you.

(11:50)   
You still have two on me.

(11:50) -Snuffles-  
I can't help that I'm so popular.

(11:51) -Snuffles-  
Soo... is this what we're calling it? Are we friends?

(11:51)   
I always thought so. Maybe. Hopefully.

(11:52) -Snuffles-  
Yeah. Yeah of course.

(11:52)   
Ok. Cool. Yeah.

(11:53)   
Are you cheering today?

(11:53) -Snuffles-  
Yeah. I'm actually on the field. We start in... seven minutes.

(11:54)   
You should probably um... warm up?

(11:54) -Snuffles-  
HAHA yeah. Josie is shouting at me now actually. I'll tell you how it goes.

(11:55)   
Good luck, Topaz. Go Southside.

*

Sunday PM

(8:13) -Snuffles-  
I don't know how to say this, and it pains me to do so, but we lost.

(8:14)   
Oh no. I'm so sorry.

(8:14) -Snuffles-  
BY ONE GOAL. I AM RAGE.

(8:15) -Snuffles-  
No, I'm being mature about it. It's fine.

(8:15) -Snuffles-  
NO IT'S NOT.

(8:15) -Snuffles-  
Ok, no, I'm fine. Sweetpea is crying, though. 

(8:16)   
Was this, like, a major game?

(8:16) -Snuffles-  
No. Sweets just really hates losing.

(8:16) -Snuffles-  
He hates it so much that we're not even having an after game party. Lame.

(8:17)   
Tough break. I'm sorry for your loss.

(8:18) -Snuffles-  
Thanks Bombshell. I'm gonna do last minute homework. Talk to you later.

(8:18)   
Cya, Snuffles.

*

(11:44) -Snuffles-  
Hey Bombshell?

(11:45)   
Mm?

(11:45) -Snuffles-  
This might be going too far but

(11:46) -Snuffles-  
Can I call you?

(11:46)   
Is everything alright?

(11:47) -Snuffles-  
Yeah, yeah, I've just been thinking about it and I think I want the voice in my head when reading your texts to match with what you sound like. If that's not weird.

(11:47)   
Yeah, no, I get it. Phones don't always do you justice, though.

(11:48)   
Call.

(11:48) -Snuffles-  
Ok.

[Calling Bombshell]

"..Hello?"

"Hi. Uh, did I wake you? With the text?"

"Yeah, but it's fine."

"Ok. Cool. Um, ok I didn't actually prepare for this far."

"Mm yeah, I figured. You don't sound... how I expected."

"What did you expect? Elderly man?"

"Haha, no, I guess, more high pitched. Not so... raspy."

"Do I sound raspy?"

"Oh, please, you know it."

"You sound more croaky."

"Argghh, I just woke up. Don't tease."

"Oh no, I like it."

"...Oh."

"Uhm... I can I ask you something?"

"I guess while we're at it."

"What's your name?"

"Ok, I'm going to answer this, but you can't, under any circumstance make a weird nickname from it."

"Hey, the same goes for you. Trust me, Snuffles is bad enough."

"I'm Cheryl."

"Cheryl..."

"I said you can't make a nickname! You're thinking about it!"

"I'm not, I'm not, I like it a lot. It's pretty. Ok, now, really, no nickname."

"Ok."

"No, cross your heart."

"Ahh, fine, cross my heart and hope to die."

"Toni."

"Thats-"

"If you say manly I swear to god-"

"No, no. I like it."

"Thanks... um I should let you get back to sleep."

"You too. You have class tomorrow."

"Right, yeah."

"Good night, Toni."

"Good night, Cheryl."


	4. High School Football

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dang my head hurts today

Monday AM

(9:05) -Juggy-  
You're not as quiet as you think you are.

(9:05) -Sweets-  
Yeah, dude, next time take it to the other room.

(9:06) -Toni-  
???

(9:06) -Fangs-  
The phone call!

(9:06) -Toni-  
Oh my god you heard that

(9:07) -Sweets-  
Yeah, man.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Oh god no

(9:08) -Sweets  
Oh god, yes.

(9:08) -Juggy-  
It's not our fault you can't whisper.

(9:09) -Fangs-  
At least there was no phone sex.

(9:09) -Toni-  
Dude!!

(9:10) -Fangs-  
Just saying.

(9:10) -Juggy-  
T, you're red.

(9:10) -Toni-  
Do any of you have any decency??

(9:11) -Sweets-  
Nope.

(9:11) -Juggy-  
Nah.

(9:12) -Fangs-  
You sounded like a little girl talking to her crush.

(9:12) -Sweets-  
No, no, Fogarty, didn't you hear? She sounds raspy.

(9:12) -Toni-  
I'm going to fucking all of you if you don't shut up.

(9:13) -Sweets-  
We're just messing with you, Tiny

(9:13) -Toni-  
Mhm.

(9:14) -Juggy-  
So what was it like?

(9:14) -Toni-  
Huh?

(9:15) -Juggy-  
Talking to her. Was it weird?

(9:15) -Toni-  
It was definitely... surreal.

(9:16) -Juggy-  
What was her name again?

(9:16) -Toni-  
Cheryl

(9:17) -Sweets-  
Very mythical. Do you think it's a wind up?

(9:17) -Toni-  
My name is fucking Toni. No, I don't think it's a wind up.

(9:18) -Fangs-  
So what's the next step from here?

(9:18) -Toni-  
What do you mean?

(9:19) -Fangs-  
Well, you gonna meet the girl?

(9:19) -Toni-  
Idk, if she wants to, maybe. Not, like, now though. I just learnt her name.

(9:20) -Juggy-  
Hah! My ass. I know you're losing it wanting to see her 

(9:21) -Sweets-  
I'm still betting on you two meeting for the first time on your wedding day or something.

(9:21) -Toni-  
Shut it, Pea.

*

Monday MIDDAY

(12:22) -Toni-  
The one things that was a pleasant surprise in that phone call

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
Mm?

(12:23) -Toni-  
You swearing.

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
I swore?

(12:24) -Toni-  
You said 'oh shit' when you got confused with my name.

(12:24)-Cheryl-  
Right...Sorry.

(12:25) -Toni-  
Stop apologizing.

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
The swearing was a 'pleasant surprise'?

(12:27) -Toni-  
You don't swear much in our conversations.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
I have some kind of filter when texting. I guess it's the ability to reread and not word vomit.

(12:28) -Toni-  
Are you saying you swear often?

(12:28) - Cheryl-  
At least more often than when I'm texting.

(12:29) -Toni-  
I demand an immediate ban on the filter.

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
Seriously?

(12:30) -Toni-  
Yep. I wanna know Cheryl in all her many tones.

(12:30) -Cheryl-  
Yeah youre right, sorry

(12:31) -Toni-  
Stop apologizing.   
Hey, you're lucky your name isn't a dude's.

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
Oh, is Toni not a common name?

(12:32) -Toni-  
Short for Antoinette. Don't call me that though.   
having said that, I am the third in my family.

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
Toni the Third. What kind of family do you come from??

(12:34) -Toni-  
A non creative one

(12:34) -Toni-  
But I think we're forgetting Cheryl. Where did that come from?

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
Hey, no teasing :(

(12:35) -Toni-  
I'm just saying, how creative is Cheryl exactly?

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
Quote. I'm not even the Third or anything.

(12:36) -Toni-  
Ah, so less common than Toni then?

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
I refuse to believe that.

(12:37) -Toni-  
So, was it ok then?

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
The phone call? Yeah. Maybe next time make it during the day or something. You know, when I'm not sleeping.

(12:39) -Toni-  
Yeah, I can do that.

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
So yeah, besides that it was good.

(12:40) -Toni-  
So, we're saying there's gonna be a next time?

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
I think so.

(12:41) -Toni-  
Ok. Sweet. Cool.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
I think I should do some work now.

(12:42) -Toni-  
Yeah, ok. Boring.

(12:42) -Toni-  
Cheryl, one last thing.

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
Yeah?

(12:43) -Toni-  
Swear for me.

(12:44) -Cheryl-  
Fuck off.

*

Monday PM

(3:34)-Betty-  
A phone call?!

(3:35) -Cheryl-  
Oh, you got my message.

(3:35) -Betty-  
How... intimate.

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
Jeez, Betts.

(3:36) -Betty-  
What time did she call you?

(3:37) -Cheryl-  
Like, eleven thirty.

(3:37) -Betty-  
Intimate.

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
I may not be very experienced in this area, but I don't think a phone call at eleven at night is considered 'intimate'.

(3:38) -Betty-  
Why not?

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
There was no... suggestiveness in it. At all.

(3:39) -Betty-  
You sound disappointed.

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Let's not go there.

(3:40) -Betty-  
Well, did you get her name or anything?

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
Ah, yeah.

(3:41) -Betty-  
And?

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
Toni. Antoinette, but she goes by Toni. The third.

(3:42) -Betty-  
That's... different.  
Pretty specific

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
Trust her to have a stupidly obscure name that also makes it sound as if she's from a pizza shop in Boston.

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
I can't say simple phrases like 'Oh shit' or 'are you fucking serious' because she has ruined swear words for me

(3:44) -Cheryl-  
This is it, she's stuck here. She'll never go away.

(3:44) -Betty-  
Let's not get dramatic.

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
You're right. I'm starting to sound like her

(3:46) -Betty-  
So what did you talk about?

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
Nothing. It was just... name exchange.

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
She also said she liked my croaky morning voice.

(3:47) -Betty-  
CHERYL

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
WHAT

(3:48) -Betty-  
Every thing youve told me about your conversations so far has 100% shown she's into you. 

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
No, Betts, noooooo

(3:49) -Betty-  
You can't tell me spontaneous phone calls and fawning over voices is somehow innocent.

(3:50) -Cheryl-  
But I have a habit of misinterpreting ... signals.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
This is a couple thing. Anyone who's been in a relationship suddenly sees relationships everywhere. You have been plagued, Betty.

(3:51) -Betty-  
This is not a couple thing. And as for your misinterpreting, I can help you out.

(3:52) -Cheryl-  
Can you?

(3:52) -Betty-  
Of course, cuz. If you allow me to read the messages.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to say no.

(3:53) -Betty-  
Then you've just proven it.

(3:54) -Cheryl-  
Because I don't want you going through my private conversations?!

(3:54) -Betty-  
Yep. Means you've told her secrets and maybe even flirted a little yourself and now you don't want me to see.

(3:55) -Betty-  
Damn, I would have made a great detective.

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
You still can, B.

(3:56) -Betty-  
No, Cher, we know that can't happen.

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Let's make a deal. If it turns out that Toni does have romantic feelings for me, you have to talk to Sheriff Keller about shadowing him.

(3:57) -Betty-  
That's unfair! Shes totally into you! And my dad would kill me. you know he hates the law and shit

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
Ah, but she has never explicitly stated it. Do we have a deal?

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
Come on, you can't chicken out.

(3:58) -Betty-  
Oh, fine! It's a deal.

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
Excellent.

*

Tuesday AM

(9:55) -Toni-  
Describe your ideal date.

(9:55)-Cheryl-  
...What?

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Ok, do you mean the person or the going out?

(9:56) -Toni-  
The going out. Please, Bomshell, we know I'm your ideal date.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
I'm using you for Elvendork.

(9:57) -Toni-  
I knew it.

(9:57) -Toni-  
But, no, really. Ideal date. Fangs is taking 'the one' out for his birthday this weekend and he doesn't know where to go or what to do.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Hmmmmm

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
I don't actually know. Like, at all. What constitutes as a date? Does a meal have to be consumed?

(9:59) -Toni-  
I think you're thinking about it a little too hard.

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
I've never been on a date before.

(10:00) -Toni-  
Ugh, neither's Fangs or Jug and I don't count that time in freshmen year.

(10:00) -Toni-  
My god, that was traumatizing.

(10:01) -Cheryl-  
What did you do?

(10:01) -Toni-  
We went to this café thing where all of the beverages were pink. The food: pink. Interior design: pink. Now, I have nothing against pink. But there's a line, Bombshell. Man, is there a line.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Sounds like a surreal horror film.

(10:02) -Toni-  
It was. I had the 'Psycho' music playing in the back of my mind every time I stabbed at my (pink) cake.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
So, I guess that's not an ideal date. But it was still a date?

(10:03) -Toni-  
If we HAVE to call it that.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
I know Betty and Archie went to this one diner they like, Pop's. Which I guess isn't original. And on better days, the arcade.

(10:04) -Toni-  
Arcade? Really? Your cousin seems a lil... wound too tight for that

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
Betty is very good at the basketball game, and she likes to remind us all of that fact.

(10:05) -Toni-  
While this is still very informative and am passing the information on to Fangs, you still haven't answered the original question.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
I think at this point in my life, any date is an ideal date for me.

(10:06) -Toni-  
Oh, come on.

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Well, tell me yours and I'll gage in what I need to consider.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Oh, um, ok.

(10:09) -Toni-  
I like the beach. So maybe we'd go the beach and explore the caves and go swimming and stuff. Picnic maybe. Oh my god, this is sappy.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
Not only sappy, but apparently you like long walks on the beach.

(10:10) -Toni-  
OH FUCK I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

(10:10) -Toni-  
It's definitely your turn now. I have embarrassed myself enough.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
Fine... ok, mine's probably boring, though.

(10:11) -Toni-  
Spill the beans, Moony.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
It'd probably be something simple like... going to the museum. I don't know. I just really like the museum.  
Or the bookstore. The biggest one I can find.

(10:12) -Toni-  
I dig that.

(10:13) -Toni-  
Wait, museum

(10:13) -Toni-  
MUSEUM. PUBLIC SHOWINGS. GALLERIES.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
???

(10:14) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL, YOU'RE A GENIUS.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Thank you. I think.

*

(10:14) -Toni-  
ART GALLERY

(10:14) -Fangs-  
TOPAZ YOU ARE A MIRACLE

(10:15) -Toni-  
IT WAS CHERYL BUT I KNOW. I KNOW.

(10:15) -Juggy-  
Does this mean we can talk about something else now.

(10:16) -Fangs-  
Such a downer, Jones.

(10:16) -Fangs-  
And Toni, tell Cheryl I say thanks.

*

Tuesday PM

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
I'm watching a soap opera and I am enthralled and appalled at the same time.

(3:37) -Tonia  
Fangs always tells me that soap operas reminds him of me.

(3:37) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I can see that.

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
They're all so dramatic.

(3:38) -Toni-  
He says thanks, by the way.

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
What?

(3:39) -Toni-  
Fangs says thanks for the genius idea. They're going to an art gallery.

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Technically not my idea, but I'm glad I could help all the same.

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
Uh oh, Mary has been cheating on Steven.

(3:42) -Toni-  
But I thought she was with Fabio?

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
She's also pregnant with Tim's child.

(3:43) -Toni-  
Damnit, Mary, Tim trusted you!

(3:43) -Toni-  
You know he hasn't been the same since the accident!

(3:44) -Cheryl-  
There was so much blood, Mary, you weren't even there YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS PAIN.

(3:45) -Toni-  
YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON HE RECOGNISES IN HIS RETROGRADE AMNESIA MARY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM.

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
You better watch out Mary, I think that's a pipe bomb in Tim's mother's handbag.

(3:46) -Toni-  
She'll do it, Mary, she'll sacrifice her grandchild for the honour of her son.

(3:46) -Toni-  
*Mary's funeral*

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
"She was my favourite neighbor. I miss her lemon cakes and sweet voice. Rest in peace, Mary."

(3:48) -Toni-  
-Speech delivered by Tim's mum.

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
Scandal!

(3:50) -Toni-  
HAHA. Man, I gotta go to my bar duties. I'll talk to you later.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
Cya, Topaz. Watch out for pipe bombs and men in eye patches.

*

Wednesday AM

(9:33) -Toni-  
I HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT OF CLASS.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
What? What for?!

(9:34) -Toni-  
BC I DYED MY HAIR

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
... You're not allowed to dye your hair?

(9:35) -Toni-  
THAT'S WHAT THE CHEMISTRY TEACHER SAYS BUT VERONICA FUCKING LODGE DYED HERS RED A YEAR AGO AND NO ONE CARED. SINCE WHEN HAS THE SOUTHSIDE GIVEN A FUCK ABOUT MY H A I R 

(9:35) -Toni-  
I CAN'T EVEN TELL IF THIS IS A DOUBLE STANDARD OR IF EVERYONE JUST FAVOURS HER BECAUSE OF HER ASS. 

(9:36) -Cheryl-  
Well, where are you now?

(9:36)-Toni-  
...um, well

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
Toni, where are you?

(9:37) -Toni-  
In the parking lot.

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
The teacher's parking lot?

(9:38)-Toni-  
..uh huh.

(9:39) -Cheryl-  
By the chemistry teacher's car?

(9:39) -Toni-  
I'm only going to slash one tire.

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
Topaz, if you slash his tires then your case for him being an asshole will be ruined. They won't care what else happened.

(9:40) -Toni-  
But it'll feel good.

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
But it will feel better if you are able to turn up to class tomorrow with colourful hair and shove that in his face.

(9:41) -Toni-  
And if the Principal doesn't let me?

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
Well, then you slash his tires. But maybe not the Principals. Don't want to get expelled.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Don't I? Wouldnt be my first time. 

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
No, Toni. Fangs, Sweetpea and Jughead are there. You love hanging out with them and partying after every football game. Yes?

(9:43) -Toni-  
...yeah.

(9:43) -Toni-  
I'm going to the Principal's office.

(9:44) -Cheryl-  
Good. I'm glad.

(9:44) -Cheryl-  
Tell me how it goes.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Thanks, Cher.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
For stopping you from slashing tires? Hah, no problem.

(9:46) -Toni-  
Really

(9:46) -Cheryl-  
Yes, ok. You're welcome.

(9:54) -Toni-  
I'm waiting to see the Principal. 

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Good luck.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Oh, and Toni?

(9:56) -Toni-  
Mm?

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
The hair dye is hot.

(9:57) -Toni-  
Oh Jesuuuuus dude... I'm.. yep, thanks

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Haha

(9:57) -Toni-  
Thanks, Bombshell.

(9:58) -Toni-  
Oh, here we go.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Stay strong.

*

(9:35) -Sweets-  
Topaz?

(9:36) -Juggy-  
Toni?

(9:37) -Juggy-  
Toni, come on, man.

(9:40) -Sweets-  
Topaz, where are you?

(9:45) -Toni-  
Goin to the Whyrm.

(9:45) -Sweets-  
Really? Dude, you had the look on your face that says you're gonna build a car bomb.

(9:46) -Toni-  
Yeah, well

(9:47) -Toni-  
It was pointed out that destroying teachers' property might not help my case

(9:47) -Juggy-  
You mean, Cheryl pointed it out.

(9:48) -Toni-  
Whatever

(9:50) -Fangs-  
Which colour do you think is better: red or green?

(9:51) -Sweets-  
What

(9:51)   
I think Jughead could work a blue and Kevin says he has one. He also has red and green. Which one?

(9:52) -Sweets-  
...

(9:52) -Sweets-  
Green. Kev is already wearing red.

(9:53) -Fangs-  
See, that's what I thought and Jugs like 'wouldn't it be really fuckin lame if you two were matching' and Kev wouldn't stop laughing.

(9:54) -Toni-  
That would be so fuckin lame. I wouldn't want to be seen with you two.

(9:55) -Fangs-  
You already don't.

(9:55) -Toni-  
You do the kissing thing

(9:55) -Toni-  
Like, stop that.

(9:56) -Fangs-  
Jeaaaaaaallloooooouuuussssss

(9:57) -Fangs-  
S'ok. One day you'll meet Cheryl and there will be all of the kissing thing for you

(9:57) -Toni-  
Fuck off, Fogarty.

(9:57) -Fangs-  
;-)

*  
Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:02) -Toni-  
After extensively searching the guidelines we have found that there is no rule banning hair dye. Just as I thought!

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
So your chemistry teacher is just a dickhead.

(12:03) -Toni-  
Yeah, basically. And the Principal says that he's not just going to make up the rule to stop me, so it stays!

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
Ahh, sweet justice.

(12:04) -Toni-  
It gets better

(12:05) -Toni-  
I have chemistry again tomorrow. Jugs and Fangs are getting all dolled up.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
That's real friendship right there. Betty asked me to do hers once and my god.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
It went /everywhere/.

(12:06) -Toni-  
Not for yourself?

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
I don't look very good with colour.. part of the whole being a redhead thing

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
I'm actually leaving the house today to have lunch with Archie and Betty on the lawn. I'll talk to you later.

(12:07) -Toni-  
Wow, the outside world and everything.

(12:08) -Cheryl-  
I know. Terrifying.

(12:08) -Toni-  
Have fun with your friends, red.

*

Wednesday PM

(4:13) -Tiny-  
Why did you say that?

(4:14) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Say what?

(4:14) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Aren't you meant to be in detention?

(4:15) -Tiny-  
I am

(4:16) -Tiny-  
Why did you say that when Cheryl and I meet there would be all the kissing?

(4:17) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Idk. It was a joke?

(4:17) -Tiny-  
Fangs.

(4:18) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You guys are just messaging a lot and don't even know each other. I'm not condemning it. Just. Ya know.

(4:18) -Tiny-  
I just like talking to her

(4:19) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah I know. Really, it was a joke.

(4:20) -Tiny-  
Yeah. Ok.

(4:20) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Oh, come on. You're not having a Big Gay Panic Attack, are you?

(4:21) -Tiny-  
Ugh, no, idiot.

(4:21) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Well what's with the interrogation??

(4:22) -Tiny-  
Idk. Just struck me as a weird thing to insinuate.

(4:22) -Tiny-  
Phillips is back.

(4:23) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Treat him sweetly.

*

Thursday AM

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
I am going to ask the most obvious question and I already apologize most profusely for it.

(10:05) -Toni-  
Go ahead

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
Ugh ok

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
How did you know you were gay?

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry.

(10:07) -Toni-  
It's ok. I was expecting it.   
And stop apologizing!!!

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, but you shouldn't have to bc it's a stupid question

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
You can ask me how I knew I was a dickhead.

(10:09) -Toni-  
How did you know you were a dickhead?

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
When I asked that question, it really solidified it for me.

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
The Family Thing was pretty solidifying.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Oh hush, Bombshell. 

(10:11) -Toni-  
there were earlier indications for me. Wanting to kiss all the pretty girls I saw when I was a kid that were biking around the train tracks. I like guys too just, not as much. 

(10:12) -Toni-  
And welllll...

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Is it embarrassing?

(10:13) -Toni-  
Not quite but there were a few close calls.

(10:13) -Toni-  
Ok, so there was a hot doctor.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
Hot doctor? Like, McSteamy?

(10:14) -Toni-  
Shut up. I was 13. Hot doctor.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Oooo doctor, examine me.

(10:15) -Toni-  
Oh, Christ.

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
That's the spirit.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Ah, stop it! We never speak of this again!

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Fine, fine.

(10:17) -Toni-  
You know I have to return the favour now, right?

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
Eh?

(10:18) -Toni-  
It's only fair I ask you how you knew you were

(10:19) -Toni-  
Well, I mean. I don't want to assume.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Oh, like

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Right. Um.

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
Well. It's kinda why I asked.

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
I don't really know.

(10:22) -Toni-  
Oh, ok.

(10:22) -Toni-  
We can add it to the list of 'things that are ok to not know/have done by 17'

(10:23) -Cheryl-  
Well, you know! Betty and Archie know their sexualities. And Fangs knows too. 

(10:23) -Cheryl-  
Fuck, even my nana had a few rendezvous with women.

(10:24) -Toni-  
It's just clearer for some people. There's no need to panic, Bombshell.

(10:24) -Cheryl-  
I'm not panicking, you're panicking.

(10:25) -Toni-  
Well, allegedly I am. 

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
I just don't... want to be someone's toy.

(10:26) -Toni-  
I think the fact that you despise the idea so much would stop you from being anyone's toy.

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Or I'd just hate myself.

(10:27) -Toni-  
Ok, maybe you just need to test the waters in a neutral place.

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
Where the hell am I going to find a neutral place?

(10:28) -Toni-  
I was thinking a club, or something.

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
I...

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
don't think I like the idea of kissing strangers.

(10:30) -Toni-  
Right.

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
You've said you've kissed a few girls. Did you know them?

(10:31) -Toni-  
Yeah. They go to school here.

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
And you said it wasn't fireworks.

(10:32) -Toni-  
It just felt like... something do to.

(10:33) -Toni-  
But I don't think that automatically makes me gay by elimination. 

(10:33) -Toni-  
You're allowed to be something other than gay or straight. It's not all black and white.

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
You think it's a bisexual thing?

(10:35) -Toni-  
I don't... It's not my place to have an opinion. This is all up to you. For me I'm bisexual, but that doesn't mean you have to be just because you aren't sure.

(10:35) -Toni-  
But there is still more. There are entire spectrums of sexual attractions and romantic attractions. Because those are two different things.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
This is starting to sound overwhelming.

(10:37) -Toni-  
Like I said: don't panic. You are only 17.

(10:37) -Toni-  
Also, the internet is your friend. Google some things.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
Is this like the masturbation thing? Are you telling me to watch porn?

(10:39) -Toni-  
What!? No!

(10:39) -Toni-  
Actually

(10:40) -Toni-  
It could be helpful. Even though it wasn't my original suggestion.

(10:41) -Cheryl-  
Do you recommend any videos?

(10:41) -Toni-  
You're foul.

(10:42) -Toni-  
I thought you said you were gay the other day, though?

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Well... around here it's best to be anything but.

(10:43) -Toni-  
Hey, no ones gonna know if you look at a lil smth smth if you know what I mean

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
Go away

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
Aren't you in class or something?

(10:44) -Toni-  
Aw look you're all flustered.

(10:44) -Cheryl  
Goodbye weirdo.

(10:45) -Toni-  
😘

*

Thursday PM

(7:34) -Toni-  
I have been left to care for children.

(7:34) -Toni-  
I can hardly look after myself.

(7:35) -Cheryl-  
How many children?

(7:35) -Toni-  
Two. Boys. Ginger.

(7:36) -Cheryl-  
Why is ginger important?

(7:36) -Toni-  
They are just so, so ginger. Probably more than you.

(7:37) -Toni-  
They even have the freckles.THEY ARE BREAKING THINGS

(7:38) -Cheryl-  
Haha, wow, have you ever baby sat before?

(7:38) -Toni-  
No. Other than my like, cousins, but if they die it's fine bc we're related. Usually people baby sit me.

(7:39) -Cheryl-  
Ummm that's definitely not how homicide works, but you should know what kind of things are involved!

(7:40) -Toni-  
Yes, but I was always a compliant child. These... things just don't listen.

(7:41)-Cheryl-  
What are they doing now?

(7:43) -Toni-  
Using ceramic plates as a stacking tower.

(7:44) -Cheryl-  
Are you... going to stop them from doing that?

(7:45) -Toni-  
I'm actually too impressed to stop them. They have a good balance going.

(7:46) -Cheryl-  
Toni, you're useless!

(7:47) -Toni-  
Or at least a terrible authority figure. They need to wash up now hang on.

(8:00) -Toni-  
They are finally in.

(8:01) -Cheryl-  
Whose kids are these? You didn't just take some, right?

(8:02) -Toni-  
Of course not. Distant relatives of a friend. 

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Are you at their house?

(8:03) -Toni-  
Yeah. You think I own ceramic plates? LMAOOO   
Nah but rlly, It's actually very cozy in here – uh oh they're having a water fight.

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
Please tell me you joined in.

(8:12) -Toni-  
I joined in. I am soaked. The bathroom is flooded. The boys have collapsed on the couch in towels. They are now watching Spongebob.

(8:12) -Toni-  
Bath time did not last as long as I wanted it to.

(8:13) -Cheryl-  
What episode of Spongebob is it?

(8:13) -Toni-  
...Krusty Krab Pizza.

(8:14) -Cheryl-  
Mmm. Good episode.

(8:14) -Toni-  
Why does this not surprise me.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
Bc I am actually still a child? With nothing else to do? Besides watch tv that doesn't promote any homosexual propaganda?

(8:15) -Toni-  
That seems most logical.

(8:16) -Toni-  
Oh my god kids are hilarious

(8:17) -Toni-  
"Bill, you look a bit like a pizza."

(8:17) -Toni-  
"Shut up, Charlie, you're as dumb as Patrick Star."

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
How very sweet of them

(8:19) -Toni-  
THEY ARE PILLOW FIGHTING NOW.

(8:19) -Cheryl-  
Children are fascinating. I want exactly zero of them.

(8:20) -Toni-  
Like we've mentioned, you can cash in on someone else's kids.

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
Betty and Archie's?

(8:21) -Cheryl-  
Betty refuses. The idea of pregnancy terrifies her. Her parents are kind of a mess. I think Archie on the other hand is slightly ready to have kids now.

(8:21) -Toni-  
Pregnancy looks terrible. Women deserve the world after all the shit they go through.

(8:22) -Toni-  
I remember you mentioning you couldn't have kids.

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
Add it to your list of symptoms.

(8:23) -Toni-  
Sorry, that was intrusive.

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
Oh, no, it's fine.

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
Are you actually trying to figure out what it is, though? I don't mind if you are.

(8:25) -Toni-  
It crosses my mind.

(8:25) -Toni-  
No, I lied, I have a page full of theories and symptoms.

(8:26) -Cheryl-  
Wow

(8:26) -Toni-  
Sorry. I like puzzles.

(8:27) -Toni-  
NOT THAT YOUR ILLNESS IS AS TRIVIAL AS A PUZZLE I JUST MEANT LIKE

(8:28) -Cheryl-  
Toni

(8:28) -Toni-  
I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO ASK BC I ALREADY ASK YOU TOO MUCH SO I THOUGHT

(8:28)-Cheryl-  
Toni!

(8:29) -Toni-  
...Yes

(8:29) -Cheryl-  
I don't mind. I'm actually quite interested to see if you can figure it out.

(8:30) -Toni-  
Ok but you have to tell me now if it's like super obscure and only you have it

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
It's not obscure. Quite well known.

(8:32) -Toni-  
Oh, ok.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
And you have to figure it out. If I think you're just guessing, I will disqualify you.

(8:33) -Toni-  
Do I get a prize?

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
Hmmmmm

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Dinner is ready. I'll think about your prize and get back to you.

(8:35) -Toni-  
Ok. Eat well. Also, the boys are asleep. By some magical force. 

(8:36) -Cheryl-   
You're magic, Toni.

*

(10:44) -Toni-  
Im finally home.

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
how far away do you live from their house? That took quite a while.

(10:45) -Toni-  
Give or take one set of train tracks. 

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Yikes. A world traveller I see. Well while you were gone, it gave me some time to think about your prize.

(10:47) -Toni-  
And have you thought of something?

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
I may have.... If it's not over stepping the line.

(10:48) -Toni-  
I'm sure whatever it is I am willing.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
And if you are not, then you can always just not correctly guess at all.

(10:49) -Toni-  
Tell me tell me tell me

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
Um. Well.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
I was thinking maybe. Once you guess it, we could meet. Or something.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Ok maybe this was stupid now that I've said it aloud.

(10:52) -Toni-  
No, no, that's

(10:52) -Toni-  
I like that. A lot, I mean, okay. Yeah, let's do that.

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Awesome.

(10:53) -Toni-  
Bombshell, you just became my consolation prize.

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to bed before you keep going

(10:55) -Toni-  
Good night, Cher.

*

Friday AM

(9:31) -Toni-  
Who Am I?

(9:31) -Juggy-  
A dickhead

(9:31) -Sweets-  
Tiny.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Oh har har, you two are so hilarious. Come on, just play the game.

(9:32) -Juggy-  
Fine. But if it's like last time and the answer is 'Fangs' and the clues are 'smells like glue' we're going to have to ban you.

(9:33) -Sweets-  
Answer: Sweetpea. Clues: Looks like a horse. These things hurt, Topaz.

(9:33) -Toni-  
Wait, hang on, I'm have a premonition.

(9:33) -Juggy-  
Is the answer Cheryl

(9:34) -Toni-  
That's a grammatically incorrect sentence, Jugs, you should be ashamed.

(9:34) -Juggy-  
It's not really a question. The answer is Cheryl. I already know.

(9:35) -Juggy-  
Look, I'm sure she's a great girl and everything, but damn can we talk about something else.

(9:35) -Toni-  
A proposition has been made: if I can figure out what illness Cheryl has then we will meet.

(9:36) -Fangs-  
...Wouldn't this be cheating?

(9:36) -Toni-  
Fangs! There you are buddy! I was hoping my partner in gay crime would show up! And   
she doesn't have to know.

(9:37) -Sweets-  
So is this forreal? You gonna meet her?

(9:37) -Toni-  
The plan is to figure it out as soon as possible and then gage when I want to meet her. SO LET'S PLAY WHO AM I, HMMMM?

(9:38) -Juggy-  
FIIIIIIINE. This class is boring anyway.

(9:38) -Fangs-  
Ok, go.

(9:39) -Toni-  
Who Am I?

(9:39) -Toni-  
My physical features are pale and thin. And a ginger. I have moments of health that can suddenly decline to the point of hospitalization. I can't play sports.

(9:40) -Toni-  
I have headaches. I puke (I think) and am infertile.

(9:41) -Juggy-  
Infertile? The fuck kinda stuff do you guys talk about?

(9:41) -Toni-  
Obviously, I am now greatly reassureds he won't accidentally knock me up.

(9:42) -Fangs-  
I'm glad. I don't think I can handle two babies.

(9:42) -Toni  
Be quiet Fogarty.

(9:43) -Toni-  
Bottom line: whatever it is I have, it is chronic.

(9:43) -Toni-  
And not something we haven't heard about. It's apparently 'well known'.

(9:44) -Juggy-  
Why don't you look up popular charities and list off those illnesses?

(9:45) -Toni-  
She says I can't just guess. I have to figure it out.

(9:45) -Fangs-  
What are your theories so far?

(9:46) -Toni-  
NOTHING. I HAVE NOTHING.

(9:46) -Juggy-  
You need to gather more data.

(9:47) -Toni-  
Thanks Professor Pembleton. 

(9:47)   
That's Professor Jones to you, Topaz.

(9:48) -Toni-  
That's Ms. Topaz to you, Professor Jones

(9:49) -Sweets-  
What are the rules on interrogation?

(9:49) -Toni-  
I'm going to assume I can't just out rightly ask for more symptoms. They have to be revealed.

(9:50) -Juggy  
What is she, a fucking pass the parcel? Unwraps a layer each round?

(9:50) -Toni-  
Or she's a real person who is slowly trusting me. But idk. Take your pick.

(9:50) -Fangs-  
Ok you two. Toni, we're going to need more information.

(9:51) -Toni-  
Ok. I think I can manage that.

*

Friday MIDDAY

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
I'm free!!!

(12:23) -Betty-  
Congratulations! Welcome to the real world again!

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
It's amazing. Nothing out here is white. There is colour.

(12:24) -Betty-  
I know. Wait until you eat something.

(12:24) -Betty-  
Now we're just waiting on Arch.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
How much longer do they think he'll have to be in there?

(12:25) -Betty-  
I don't know. He's been fine these last few days. But you know him. He could be dead by tomorrow and he wouldn't tell us.

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I know. Does this mean our walk-a-thons are on again?

(12:27) -Betty-  
Oh yeah. Get your walking shoes on, baby.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
I regret mentioning it.

(12:28) -Betty-  
It's good for you! Mind and body!

(12:28) -Cheryl-  
I can never keep up with you.

(12:29) -Betty-  
Well, I’m not the sick one cuz.

(12:30) -Betty-  
How's lover girl?

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
And who the hell is that meant to be?

(12:32) -Betty-  
Hmmm just who do you think???

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
You're unfair.

(12:34) -Betty-  
Because I'm right?

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
No, because me and a girl isn’t whats right in the Blossom household. Anyway, we have a deal. If she can guess what illness I have, then we meet each other.

(12:35) -Betty-  
Wow this is getting serious, huh?

(12:38) -Betty-  
How much does she know?

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
Admittedly, not a lot. Strongest thing she's got is the infertility thing.

(12:39) -Betty-  
What the hell brought that up?

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
Can you and Archie have a child so I don't have to?

(12:41) -Betty-  
Um, ew, Cher. Archie was a moment of... weird adolescence hormones or smth. Archie and I ever having children is up there with me becoming a police detective.

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
Meaning, you'd bet my love life on it?

(12:43) -Betty-  
Sneaky bitch

(12:45) -Betty-  
I'll come to yours at nine tomorrow morning.

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
Why so early??

(12:46) -Betty-  
So I can be assured you got out of bed at a proper time.

(12:47) -Cheryl-  
Fine. I'll be ready by nine.

(12:48) -Betty-  
Adda gal! We can do this!  
Also I’ll make sure to bring your parents some, idk meth to knock them out. 

(12:48) -Cheryl-  
Please refrain from sounding like my personal trainer. And yes, please. They’re a pain.

(12:49) -Betty-  
That's not the kind of negative attitude I wanna hear! Let me hear you can do this!

(12:50) -Cheryl-  
I can... do this?

(12:50) -Betty-  
LOUDER

(12:51) -Cheryl-  
We're texting, Betts.

(12:52) -Betty-  
Louder, Cheryl Marjorie.

(12:53) -Cheryl-  
I CAN DO THIS.

(12:54) -Betty-  
Excellent. See you tomorrow, Champ.

*

Friday PM

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
Do you smoke?

(8:23) -Toni-  
What?

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
You have this whole punk thing going on with the motorbike and the dyed hair. Does it include smoking?

(8:25) -Toni-  
Ahhh... not anymore?

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
Oh, Toni, really?

(8:26) -Toni-  
Well. You know. Wasted youth.

(8:26) -Cheryl-  
No kidding.

(8:27) -Toni-  
Look, it was pretty much 'what can I do that will piss every adult off the most?'

(8:27) -Cheryl-  
‘Lung cancer.'

(8:30) -Toni-  
Fine, I've thrown them all out the window.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
So now you're littering?

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
I'm kidding, idiot

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
But um. Thanks.

(8:33) -Toni-  
S'ok. Been meaning to do it, you know.

(8:34) -Toni-  
I guess it must be annoying for you.

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
Not 'annoying'. I'm more just... incredulous.

(8:35) -Toni-  
So... lung thing?

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
Haha, yeah, I guess you gained a clue out of my scolding.

(8:37) -Toni-  
Don't freak out. I'm kinda stumped.

(8:37) -Cheryl-  
I'm not freaking out. I'm the one that suggested it.

(8:38) -Toni-  
Yeah, but if you wanna back out for any reason, like, don't feel pressured to go ahead with it. I'll understand.

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
I want to go ahead with it.

(8:40) -Toni-  
Ok. Yeah, me too.

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
Better get thinking, then.

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to bed. Early morning tomorrow.

(8:41) -Toni-  
What are we talking here? Six, seven in the morning?

(8:42) -Cheryl-  
I have to be out of the house by nine so. Ten minutes before then.

(8:42) -Cheryl-  
Don't bother adding this to your clues. I just really like to sleep.

(8:43) -Toni-  
Yeah, I can tell. Twelve hours, man.

(8:43) -Cheryl-  
Well, what time do you get up on a Saturday morning?

(8:44) -Toni-  
Like, noon

(8:45) -Cheryl-  
And when do you go to bed?

(8:45) -Toni-  
Tonight? Probably midnight. Usually later though, but no one's drinking.

(8:46) -Toni-  
Ok, I see your point now.

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
Mhm. Good night, Toni

(8:47) -Toni-  
Sweet dreams, Bombshell

*

Saturday AM

(8:45) -Betty-  
I'm at your front door.

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
You're early.

(8:46) -Betty-  
You should be up by now, anyway. Getting ready and all that.

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
I have sat up.

(8:47) -Betty-  
I'm in your living room, nana let me in. Come on!

(8:48) -Cheryl-  
Blech.

(8:52) -Cheryl-  
Fine, I'm ready now. You're still too early though.

(8:52) -Betty-  
Just get your ass down here before I knock your finger ass out.

*

Saturday MIDDAY

(11:56) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL!

(11:56) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL BOMBSHELL

(11:56) -Toni-  
BOOOOOOOMMMMBSHELL

(11:57) -Toni-  
BANANA FANA FO-FOONY

(11:57) -Toni-  
BE-BE-BABOOMSHE(ll)

(11:57) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL 

(11:59) -Cheryl-  
What the hell just happened

(12:00) -Toni-  
The name game just happened, Bombshell. Come on.

(12:01) -Toni-  
Shall I do Cheryl instead?

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
No, that's ok.

(12:02) -Toni-  
CHERYLLL

(12:02) -Toni-  
CHERYL CHERYL CHE-CHERYL

(12:02) -Toni-  
BANANA FANA FO-FHERYL

(12:03) -Toni-  
FEE FI MO-MHERYL

(12:03) -Toni-  
CHERYL

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
I don't understand why I deserve this

(12:05) -Toni-  
Where is your culture, really.

(12:06) -Toni-  
Booooombshellllll

(12:06) -Toni-  
Fangs is out, Jugs working and Sweets is in Saturday class, you need to keep me entertained.

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
Here's something: imagine me being chased by a dog in a local park.

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
Also, imagine Betty sitting at the bench laughing.

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
Now imagine her immediate death.

(12:08) -Toni-  
DID YOU REALLY GET CHASED BY A DOG

(12:09) -Cheryl-  
I may have had fruit in my pocket that it wanted. But not knowing that at the time, I allowed it to chase me around the park while the owner did fuck all.

(12:10) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(12:10) -Toni-  
OH MYGOD YOU GOT CHASED BY A DOG FOR SNACKS

(12:11) -Toni-  
Why do you keep fruit in your pocket?

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
...To snack on? Not for dogs, that's for sure.

(12:13) -Toni-  
When did this happen?

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
About two hours ago.

(12:14) -Toni-  
OH SO THIS ISNT EVEN LIKE A TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD EVENT

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
No, no, I have a blue bruise where the thing fucking bit me on the leg.

(12:15) -Toni-  
Not a dog person?

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
For some reason dogs don't like me. Most animals don't, actually.

(12:16) -Toni-  
I like you.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
...Unless we have reached new levels in genetic engineering whereby animals can text and hold decent conversation, I don't think you're counted as an animal, Toni.

(12:17) -Toni-  
I'm practically an animal. You have to feed me and bathe me or I won't do it.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
That's pretty much the same with me. I have three alarms telling me to take medication because I'm likely to ignore the first two.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
Do you get Tall Boy to bathe you?

(12:19) -Toni-  
Oh yeah. He’s super delicate too, and conditions my hair by running his long fingers through it.

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Then you shake the water off and roll in some dirt?

(12:21) -Toni-  
Yes. Yes, exactly.

(12:22) -Toni-   
Oh, I've been invited to play soccer with some people from the Southside. I'll release you from my clutches.

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
I should probably take a bath, since we mentioned it. I did exercise this morning.

(12:23) -Toni-  
I don't think running away from a dog counts.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
1: it totally counts. And 2: I went for a walk this morning, thus why I ended up at the park. I did actual walking. And a little jogging. It was horrific.

(12:24) -Toni-  
RIP Cheryl’s will to live.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
Exactly, considering it's going to be a weekly thing. Send help.

(12:25) -Toni-  
No can do. I'd miss out on all the great shenanigans you get up to.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
You're useless. Go do your running/kicking thing then and be smug in your athletic abilities.

(12:26) -Toni-  
Oh I will.

(12:26) -Toni-  
If it makes you feel better I'm in the short shorts I use to practice cheer, so there's always that.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
Smug.

*

Saturday PM

(1:33) -Fangs Fagorty-  
We're on our way back now. Turns out I know nothing about art.

(1:33) -Toni-  
Should you really be texting me while you're still on the date?

(1:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
He’s, uh, actually fallen asleep on my shoulder. And while it's great, it also means he’s not talking. I am bored. This is a long bus ride. Should’ve just taken my bike but ohhhh no, too scary for my northsider.

(1:35) -Toni-  
So you suck at art, huh?

(1:35) -Fangs Fagorty-  
He kept talking about all these artists and their life story and what each picture represented and all I could do was nod. I had no fuckin clue, man.

(1:36) -Toni-  
At least he liked it?

(1:36) -Fangs Fagorty   
Oh yeah, he thought it was fantastic. I still looked like a fool, though.

(1:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Its the thought that counts.

(1:37) -Toni-  
Yeah, I guess. Bombshell’s thought, but whatever.

(1:38) -Toni-  
She got chased by a dog today. Bc she had fruit in her pocket. Who the fuck keeps fruit in their pockets? Her. And it's endearing.

(1:38) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Wow, Toni.

(1:39) -Toni-  
I know, Fangs. Trust me, I know.

(1:40) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You sure this isn't a Big Gay Panic Attack?

(1:41) -Toni-  
It's Big, and it's settled down to less of a Panic Attack and more of a Hmmmm Should Do Something About This, but it is not Gay.

(1:42) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Big Bi Befuddlement?

(1:43) -Toni-  
HAHA YES THAT'S A GOOD NAME.

(1:43) -Fangs Fagorty-  
So what is she? Gay, Bi?

(1:44) -Toni-  
I made sure to inform her that there are many spectrums and many different... things to consider. So not even a bi thing. But we'll see how things PAN out.

(1:45) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok but why did you capitalize PAN?

(1:45) -Toni-  
It was meant to be a sexuality joke. I guess that flopped.

(1:46) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Maybe save those for the only gay guy you actually know.

(1:47) -Toni-  
Cheryl will appreciate my puns.

(1:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Or she'll hate you more. We just don't know.

(1:48) -Toni-  
Bombshell could never hate meeeeeeee

(1:48) -Fangs Fagorty-  
She hasn't met you yet. Or seen how short you are.

(1:49) -Toni-  
Ha-ha. Very funny, Fogarty.

(1:50) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok, ok. Our bus is pulling in now. We'll see you soon.

(1:50) -Toni-  
Did you bring me back something?

(1:50) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Oh yeah, stole you some Banksy. 

*

Sunday PM

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
I'm bored.

(3:43) -Toni-  
Remember when you were bored and I provided a light hearted tale?

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I require one of those.

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
It has just occurred to me that you're probably cheering. Damn you.

(4:03) -Toni-  
Lucky for you, I've been benched from cheering. Who knew you could even do that?

(4:03) -Cheryl-  
Did you trip someone again?

(4:04) -Toni-  
...Yes.

(4:05) -Cheryl-  
We haven't had a phone conversation this week.

(4:06) -Toni-  
No, we haven't. Are you suggesting that now?

(4:07) -Toni-  
We've still got an hour of this game. I don't like watching without showing off my sick moves.

(4:07) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Go ahead.

[Calling Cheryl]

"Hey, babe."

"You did not just call me babe."

"Hell yeah I did, trophy wife."

"This is going too far. Divert the conversation."

"YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP-"

"STOP SHOUTING!"

"-I'M AT A FOOTBALL GAME, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?"

"How's this?"

"I guess that will do."

"I hope you have conversation starters. I would hate for this to get awkward."

"Never fear, Bombshell. I plan on commentating the game to you."

"Ok then, if you think you can make that interesting."

"Of course I can. I know everyone that's playing, so you also get to hear interesting backstories."

"Oh, how I look forward to it."

"I know you're ecstatic."

"Get on with it, then. The hour isn't going any faster."

"You have terrible phone manners, Bombshell. Anyway, Fangs has the ball. You probably know enough about him to write a report."

"I am yet to acquire his fingerprints, sad to say. I can't frame him for murder just yet."

"Oh, I've sent them in the mail. They should arrive soon."

"About time."

"He's passed it off to Byrdie, who's an asshole but makes up for it with illegal passes and shit oh and once threw me bodily down a flight of stairs-

“What the fuc-"

"Oh, it was fine, we had pillows on the staircase."

"The more I hear of public school, the less fun it sounds."

"Oh, yeah. The only thing that makes this shithole fun, Bombshell, is the crazy shit that happens everyday. And sometimes the hot chocolates in the cafeteria are good."

"God bless the hot chocolates, then."

"Alright, Mutt has passed it off to Fangs’ ex, Joaquin. Who is kinda muscular, and a pretty cool guy, but don't tell Fangs I said that."

"In case he throws you down some stairs?"

"Yes, for exactly that reason-OH FUCK JOAQUIN BEEN INTERCEPTED. BY MY BROTHER NO LESS. THIS IS SHAME."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah, kinda. I don’t really consider him that, but let's not go there on back story just yet. He looks like me, except I'm the more attractive sibling. Obviously.”

"I'll take your word on that, unless Joaquin decides to cause me injury just for my state of scrawniness."

"Oh, nah he’s a gentle giant. He'd cradle you like a kitten."

"Still not encouraging."

"Sorry. OK MUTT HAS THE BALL AGAIN AND IS GOING UP THE FIELD, LIKE A FUCKING BARREL- FUCK HERE COMES GRIZZEL- FUCK HE GOT THE BALL-SHIT OH NO."

"What?!"

"SWEETPEA IS THE ONLY BLOCKER LEFT. OH MAN THIS IS TENSE-AH FUCK HE SCORED”

"So are you winning or losing?"

"IT'S A DRAW, BOMBSHELL. OH MY GOD."

"Are you-are you jumping up and down?"

"Yes, yes I am. It's exciting stuff, Bombshell, I'm surprised you're not on the edge of your seat."

"Boy, it's tempting."

"Ok, Fangs in his God-like majesty has the ball. He's passed it over to Joaquin, who then tosses it over to Crouch-Oh my god Barty is just going for it. That guy's a loose canon."

"Barty?"

"No need to sound so blunt, Bombshell."

"That's a name you give to a small boy."

"He is almost like a child. More childish than me, would you believe. When he talks to you he rubs his hands, which can be creepy, but he also licks his lips a lot, which is creepier."

"Barty doesn't sound like a winner."

"Barty doesn't have bounds, he just keeps going. He's slicing through everyone. Sweets is pissed."

"Is he a ball hog?"

"Yeah, and we always know that by the time he gets to the scrimmage line he panics and throws the ball to the opposition-oh he's up there now, come on!!"

"What's their goalie like?"

"Verme. he tried to sell me meth once, which was just a bit beyond my punk loyalties. Also he’s a Ghoulie. We don’t fuck with Ghoulies.”

"Ghoulies?”

"Rival gang.”

“.... you’re in a gang?

"Oh fuck, right I... forgot to mention that, I guess. I don’t know most people kind of know us notoriously but...”

"Christ, Toni.”

"Hey, were the good guys. The Ghoulies are absolute dickheads. The only thing that is as bad as them is meth. I could be on meth and still never touch their scumbag leader, Malachai.  
Barty missed the goal, by the way.”

"Ill take your word for it, I suppose. And I figured, I think I heard someone swearing."

"That was Fangs. He's been benched. Fucking idiot."

"You guys really takes sports for real, huh?"

"You'll be like us soon if you keep those walks going."

"Fuck off."

"What?"

"You're making fun. See - stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"No you're not, you're still laughing! Asshole!”

"Ok, Ok, I'm stopping. Oh shit-fuck. Joaquin and Kurtz are punching each other. Christ, guys."

"Does this happen often?"

"What, the violence?"

"Yeah, it seems pretty feral over there."

"Oh, Bombshell.”

“Why are you laughing?”

“It’s just that’s all the southside is sort of seen as. Violent. Me and my guys don’t really ride that way unless we have to. It’s all about the code which I’ll tell you about another time. But these guys man.. Been like this since the beginning, and if we lose this week, then they won't shut up about it for the next year. It’ll probably cause my guys to try and kill them, honestly.”

"Whos your gang?”

"Serpents. We aren’t the slimey kind though.”

"Snakes aren't slimey to begin with, Toni."

"Cold blooded dicks, then."

"That works I suppose.” 

"Haha, yeah, better then fuckin Ghoulies I can tell ya that much. oh god. Sweets is punching Verne now and- oh the whole team is in on this. We are goiNG TO BE DISQUALIFIED."

"Is football even being played anymore? What's happening?"

"Nope, the ball has been stranded. Everyone is just pairing up and punching. We're out numbered – oh, because I'm on the phone."

"...If you are waiting for permission to punch people, I don't think I can allow that."

"Oh come on! It’s the serpent code! No serpent left behind!”

"What the hell- no you stay on that bench. And you can’t use codes against me when I don’t even know what they are!”

"Yeah. Ok, ref is breaking it up now. Hang on... HAH! They're calling the game off. No one wins!"

"At least you won't get mocked?"

"Nah, but there will be some punches later tonight no doubt. Hey this is fun, Bombshell! We should do this more often!"

"Sports people are nuts. You guys are crazy!"

"We prefer to be called 'free spirits,' if you would please, Bombshell.”

"Psycho."

"Aw, you mean that affectionately, right?"

"Yeah, sure. My sweet psycho."

"How adorable! I love it, Bombshell. How about – oh, ok, I have to go now."

"Yes, I am hearing the words 'shut up' and ... 'girlfriend'?"

"That's Jughead. Lazy asshole doesn’t even play. Just snaps pictures to put on his wall. definitely ignore him. Like, yeah. Ignore him. Ok. I have to go now. Bye, Cheryl."

"Congratulations on the, uh, win? Bye, Toni."

"Bye, babe."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(6:32) -Toni-  
Fangs broke his nose and Sweetpea has a busted lip. Meanwhile, I got to enjoy the view of the fight and remain uninjured. Good call on that one, Bombshell.

(6:32) -Cheryl-  
Mother knows best.

(6:33) -Toni-  
Aw, Bombshell, you're like the mother I never had.

(6:34) -Cheryl-  
How's the Ghoulies looking?

(6:34) -Toni-  
Unfortunately, Malachai is still alive, but nothing can be helped for that. Fangs got a good swing into Kurtz so he has a black eye. I'll be able to gage a better injury report tomorrow morning.

(6:35) -Cheryl-  
I look forward to it.

(6:36) -Toni-  
It was ... good. Talking to you, I mean.

(6:37) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Your commentary was subpar, though. You just swore half the time. But it was good swearing.

(6:37) -Toni-  
Suppose I can't be disappointed by that. 'Hmmm, yes, there was some good swearing in that conversation.'

(6:38) -Cheryl-  
Shut up.

(6:40) -Toni-  
Ok, I better do last minute homework or something. Or at least pretend while I throw paper balls at Fangs. But whatever. It was fun today.

(6:41) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. I thought so too.

(6:41) -Toni-  
Oh, one more thing.

(6:42) -Cheryl-  
Yeah?

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
Toni

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
Toni, Toni

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
To-Toni

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
Banana fana fo-Foni

(6:44) -Cheryl-  
Fee, fi, mo-moni 

(6:45) -Cheryl-  
Toni

(6:46) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL YOU ARE THE BEST.

(6:47) -Cheryl-  
I know


	5. Hardly Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We love seeing quiet, shy Cheryl turn into Toni’s lil comedian

Monday AM

(9:28) -Sweets-  
Verne is limping. I did that. I am a machine.

(9:28) -Fangs-  
Pea, you used your helmet to hit the dude in the face. That's cheating.

(9:29) -Sweets-  
All's fair in love and war. I still did better than Toni

(9:29) -Toni-  
I didn't do anything.

(9:29) -Sweets-  
Exactly. You're fuckin whipped, man.

(9:30) -Toni-  
I ws half 'specting u 2 fin Malachai off.

(9:30) -Sweets  
It'd be an unfair fight, considering I am so much more superior.

(9:31) -Toni-  
Are we ignoring my comment?

(9:31) -Juggy-  
Pointedly.

(9:32) -Juggy-  
Aw, so Bombsheels nt gonna cum b our cheer leader?

(9:32) -Toni-  
I could ask, but I don't think she'd wear the skirt.

(9:33) -Juggy-  
Nah, she's just Toni's groupie.

(9:33) -Toni-  
Don't make me eat your homework, Jones. I'll do it again.

(9:34) -Juggy-  
Please don't. It was terrifying, watching you do it last time.

(9:34) -Toni-  
Let it be a lesson to you.

(9:35) -Fangs-  
N-e new symptoms 2 add, btw?

(9:35) -Toni-  
Nah.

(9:36) -Juggy-  
So the best we have is can't go to school and can't have kids?

(9:36) -Toni-  
Yep, pretty much.

(9:37) -Fangs-  
U need 2 find out wat system is affected, I reckon. Then its ez sailing.

(9:37) -Toni-  
Hey Bombshell, can you digest food to shit? Yes? What about heart then? Have a cardiac arrest lately? Ah, bummer.

(9:38) -Juggy-  
Obviously, you would be more subtle.

(9:38) -Toni-  
Sure.

(9:39) -Sweets-  
Kurtz looks like a blackberry.

(9:39) -Fangs-  
I wldnt no, I cnt c shit.

(9:40) -Juggy-  
You'd think you wouldnt ditch your helmet so your nose woudlnt get broken and make your fuckin eyes swell up, huh?

(9:41) -Fangs-  
Fok off Wormtail w/ur logic.

(9:41) -Sweets-  
HAH can you see how far away he's holding the phone from his face?

(9:41) -Toni-  
Ah, bless. I'm looking forward to when he runs into something.

(9:42) -Fangs-  
Scrw all of u

(9:42) -Sweets-  
Squinty.

*

Monday MIDDAY

(12:11) -Betty-  
Archie is coming home on Thursday!

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
Woo hoo! Now I get to go back to third wheeling.

(12:13) -Betty-  
Screw off. He's my best friend. Invite lover girl over and you can have your own love life

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
You're unbelievable.

(12:14) -Betty-  
I'll take that as a compliment.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
You shouldn't.

(12:16) -Betty-  
Any updates on that front?

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
She commentated their football match to me yesterday.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
On the phone, that is.

(12:17) -Betty-  
Ooo another phone call. Things are getting serious 

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
Shut up. Alsooooo  
She kind of told me she's in a gang?

(12:18) -Betty-  
Ok, ok, hold up. What do you mean a gang? 

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
Like, full fist on fist bloody beatings, motorcycles. I don't know I didn't ask much about it

(12:19) -Betty-  
How could you just not ask about it?

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
I guess I didn't have a plethora of questions, Betty. She's apart of a gang called the Serpents. Ever heard of them?

(12:20) -Betty-  
Uh... yeah. Everyone has. They're not people you want to hang around Cheryl. 

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, but Toni's sweet. And she speaks highly of her friends and seems... idk... 

(12:21) -Betty-   
It's a fucking gang, Cheryl.

(12:21) -Cheryl-   
Just drop it. For now, please, Betty. Things are... theyre good right now. Let me have it. After all I've gone thru. 

(12:22) -Betty-  
Fine. But we aren't done with this. So,   
her guessing game?

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
She now knows it's lungs. It's only a matter of time.

(12:22) -Betty-  
Are you ready?

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
I thought I was.

(12:23) -Betty-  
But?

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
You know the plot to The Fault in Our Stars?

(12:24) -Betty-  
You are not a tragic young adult novel.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
I'm starting to feel like it. This is so typical.

(12:26) -Betty-  
Look, she knows you're sick but she's still there. She could have cut this off long ago but she hasn't. I may not agree with her lifestyle but... your sickness isn't something to worry about with her

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
How eager do you think she'll be when we meet and I'm coughing phlegm all over her?   
She knows I'm sick, yes, but she can't see it or hear it. Shes disconnected.

(12:28) -Betty-  
You're not looking too bad now.

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
But next week I might be Death personified.

(12:30) -Betty-  
Well, then, when she figures it out you have to tell him this stuff. Make sure she understands.

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
Oh, she'll understand. And then feel obligated to stay. And then eventually start hating me for forcing her into this situation.

(12:32) -Betty-  
Cheryl, shut up.

(12:33) -Betty-  
If she begins to feel obligated, then that's her fault, not yours. We've been told this. What others do around us is entirely up to them, and if it makes them unhappy then they are within the power to leave.

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
I don't want her to leave.

(12:35) -Betty-  
I know, Cher. I'm sorry.

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
I guess I'll just have to see what happens.

(12:36) -Betty-  
Yes. Until then, we bake a cake for Archie.

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
Really? When you say 'we'...

(12:37) -Betty-  
Yes, you are baking the cake with me. Tell Penelope and Clifford you're, idk, dating some rich tycoon's son.

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
I don't think that's wise.

(12:39) -Betty-  
I don't care what you think. See you Wednesday.

*

Monday PM

(1:11) -Toni-  
There are twelve year olds kissing in front of me.

(1:12) -Cheryl-  
Well, don't watch too long. That could be a felony.

(1:12) -Toni-  
It actually looks really depressing. The girl is ready to fall asleep.

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
You could always sweep in and save her, Sir Knight.

(1:14) -Toni-  
Is that a dare?

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
God no-Yes, I mean yes. Go on then.

[Calling Cheryl]

"This is a bad idea."

"Hello to you too. As I seem to recall, this was your idea. Don't worry, I'm not going to abuse the kids."

"I feel like Frankenstein. I've created a monster."

"Shh, you love your creation. Ok now shut up and listen."

"This is bad!"

"Ahem – Excuse me, sir? Sir? Yes, hello, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?"

"-the fuck you playin' at, bitc-"

"Oh, I am appalled! Such vile language. Please, come to Church group. Your mother is worried sick."

"Go away, you fucking weirdo!"

"May God have mercy on your souls and redeem you to heaven-"

"Piss off!"

"Good bye and God bless- ah shit!"

"Toni?"

"He threw a juice box at me. YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR THIS."

"Oh my god – Toni!"

"Bombshell! You've used the lord's name in vain! How dare you! Also, stop laughing."

"I-I can't! You're a fool!"

"This was your idea!"

"Oh, god, *cough* Topaz, you're *cough*, you're-"

"Bombshell?? Are you ok?"

"I'm-*cough*-I'm fine. Real-ahem-ly. S-sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. You good?"

"Ahemm. Yep. All good."

"When I said I liked your croaky voice... Not quite what I meant."

"Haha, yeah I figured. How's the boy?"

"He put his finger up at me. The insolence."

"He will burn in Hell."

"Oh, shit, I should probably get to class. I'll talk to you later, Bombshell."

"I look forward to the next time you terrorize small children."

"Take care of yourself, Cher."

"You too, Toni."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Tuesday AM

(10:23) -Toni-  
What do your English classes look like?

(10:24) -Cheryl-  
I read a book. I learn the themes of the book. I write an essay on the book.

(10:24) -Toni-  
And then?

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Dear mumzie hired only the most prestigious tutor she could get. He reads it and marks it. Not really that difficult, I suppose.

(10:26) -Toni-  
Dare I ask how many times you've done this?

(10:26) -Cheryl-  
Ah, yeah, there's been a lot. Too many to count.

(10:27) -Toni-  
Any of it Shakespeare?

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Marry.

(10:28)-Toni-  
...Oh no.

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
Dost thou hath a problem?

(10:29) -Toni-  
What have I done.

(10:30) -Cheryl-  
Pray, wherefore dost thou fie upon the Shakespearean tongue?

(10:31) -Toni-  
Good God, Cheryl, you must be googling this.

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
Come hither and speak that, thou saucy mongrel!

(10:33) -Toni-  
STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO USE THE WORD SAUCY.

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
VILE WENCH.

(10:35) -Toni-  
I feel like I've stepped back in time.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
I'm surprised. I expected you to join in.

(10:37) -Toni-  
I just had to step back this time and appreciate your dedication to the concept... nerd

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
I hope you're satisfied.

(10:38) -Toni-  
Forsooth. Verily.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
That was poor.

(10:39) -Toni-  
I'm still reeling from the ordeal.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Get back to me when your mind is on track.

(10:40) -Toni-  
That might take some time. Give me a moment.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Weak.

*

(10:30) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You look like you swallowed a fish and it's now trying to swim back out your throat.

(10:30) -Toni-  
Moony is speaking to me in Shakespearean.

(10:30) -Toni-  
I think I'm in love.

(10:31) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Good god, Toni. This is getting out of hand.

(10:32) -Toni-  
Oh, don't look at it like that.

(10:32) -Toni-  
I told you I loved you the second day we knew each other.

(10:33) -Fangs Fagorty-  
That is true. You are a freak like that.

(10:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'm just saying, though, that whatever this elusive sexuality is that she has

(10:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
It definitely has a hard on for you.

(10:35) -Toni-  
Just let me enjoy this strange girl without becoming match maker, ok? I don't wanna scare her off

(10:35) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah, Toni. You know I won't mess with something I think is good for you. 

(10:35) -Toni-  
Thanks, Fogarty. 

*

Tuesday PM

(2:34) -Toni-  
Are you kidding me.

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
What's happened?

(2:35) -Toni-  
My grandpa got me a goldfish.

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
Aw

(2:36) -Toni-  
Because he thought I was lonely. What the hell is a goldfish going to do for that?

(2:37) -Cheryl-  
Comedic relief?

(2:37) -Toni-  
Is that not you?

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Ha-ha.

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Have you told your grandpa about me yet?

(2:39) -Toni-  
No, which is probably why he thinks I'm lonely. That I just sit in my room all day and do nothing.

(2:39) -Cheryl-  
I mean, that's partially true, but sometimes it's broken up by your inane chatter.

(2:40) -Toni-  
I see loneliness has made you charming.

(2:40) -Cheryl-  
You haven't seen anything yet.

(2:42) -Toni-  
Are you lonely? Honestly.

(2:43) -Cheryl-  
God, I don't know.

(2:43) -Toni-  
You're lying, Cheryl.

(2:44) -Cheryl-  
Well if you knew the answer

(2:45) -Toni-  
No, I'm saying YOU know the answer.

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
Ugh

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Look. Ok. Maybe someone being here wouldn't be that bad.

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Betty does as much as she can and I appreciate that. Archie does too. But they can't be here all the time. For their own sanity and so my mother doesn't attempt to kill them 

(2:47) -Toni-  
Your mom sounds like a fun time.   
But I can, though. Be there all the time, I mean.

(2:47) -Cheryl-  
But not physically.

(2:48) -Toni-  
No. At least, not yet?

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
Yeah I guess. Yet.

(2:50) -Cheryl-  
I have a pressing question.

(2:50) -Toni-  
And what is that?

(2:51) -Cheryl-  
What have you named the goldfish?

(2:52) -Toni-  
Oh, god. Nothing, yet.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
!!!!

(2:53) -Toni-  
Fine. Cheryl, will you name my goldfish?

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
I'd be happy to, Toni

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
Nothing like Elvendork, though! I have taste.

(2:55) -Toni-  
Sigh. Fine. Though Elvendork is dope.

(2:56) -Cheryl.  
Hush.

*

(4:56) -Cheryl-  
Is the fish male or female or undefined?

(4:56) -Toni-  
Uh... idk I'll ask it hold on

(4:57) -Toni-  
I just asked them and they said they don't know. Undefined.

(4:57) -Cheryl-  
Good. Doesn't have to conform to gender biases now.

(4:58) -Toni-  
Awww my humour is starting to rub off on you. Also,  
you're really getting into this sexuality and identity stuff, huh?

(4:58) -Cheryl-  
I'm yet to find something that fits me just yet, but it's really interesting stuff. You're right. The internet is amazing.

(4:59) -Toni-  
Just don't be surprised when you accidentally stumble upon the neo-nazi blogs and stuff. That was a terrifying day.

(4:59) -Cheryl-  
Wow. Ok.

(5:00) -Cheryl-  
ANYWAY. GOLDFISH. DRUMROLL PLEASE.

(5:00) -Toni-  
*drumrolls nervously but with excitement*

(5:01) -Cheryl-  
Bathsheba.

(5:02) -Toni-  
That's... thats.. it's... by god it's perfect!!!

(5:02) -Toni-  
Awww, Bombshell, you really do get me!

(5:03) -Cheryl-  
For short, they shall be named Sheba

(5:03) -Toni-  
I guess I can't complain with that.

(5:04) -Cheryl-  
Will Sheba have a friend?

(5:04) -Toni-  
Yeah, it's meant to be me.

(5:05) -Cheryl-  
No, another fishy friend! Come on, Toni.

(5:05) -Toni-  
No, I am not getting another fish. This is already too much responsibility.

(5:05) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I hear you have to feed those things, like, every day.

(5:06) -Toni-  
Shut up. No more fish. I'm not getting another fish just so you can name it.

(5:06) -Cheryl-  
Fiiiiiine. You and Sheba have fun then.

(5:07) -Toni-  
Oh, we will. We will have so much fun. I can't even contain the excitement. I think I'll take it on a walk this evening.

(5:07) -Cheryl-  
.....

(5:07) -Toni-  
Your face is deadpanned, isn't it?

(5:08) -Cheryl-  
Obviously.

*

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:09) -Cheryl-  
Betty is making me bake. I need immediate assistance.

(12:10) -Toni-  
Ooo baking. What chu baking?

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
A cake. From scratch. Like, why from scratch?!

(12:11) -Toni-  
Is she not there to tell you what to do?

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
She wrote me a recipe and is doing her own thing.

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
COOKIES! SHE IS MAKING COOKIES! WHY COULDN'T I GET THAT ONE? THAT'S SO EASY.

(12:13) -Toni-  
Life is full of challenges, Bombshell. You just gotta take them.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
I feel as if I've had my fair share of challenges. Fuck, why couldn't she just get me a cake mix? Eggs and butter and I'm done.

(12:14) -Toni-  
Wow. You must really hate baking.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
I'm so terrible at baking. I don't know why, but somehow things catch on fire and I get covered in flour.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Betty has informed me that I have flour on my nose. Amazing.

(12:16) -Toni-  
That's adorable!

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
I am not adorable.

(12:17) -Toni-  
Yes, you are.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
I am rage.

(12:18) -Toni-  
You're a kitten.

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
Ok, I'm using an electric beater now. This isn't going to end well.

(12:20) -Toni-  
I have faith in you.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
I got it on the walls. Betty is hitting me with an oven mitt.

(12:28) -Toni-  
Tell her a frying pan is more effective.

(12:34) -Cheryl-  
She's kicked me out. About time.

(12:35) -Toni-  
Wow, are you really that bad?

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
Yes. I am more a consumer of goods instead of a creator.

(12:37) -Toni-  
What's the baking for, anyway?

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
Archie is coming home. Welcome back cake.

(12:38) -Toni-  
Oo, can you make a pie and throw it in his face?

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
I really hope you don't meet Archie

(12:40) -Toni-  
I do. Also your parents. I have a few things to say to them.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
She's yelling at me now. Ok, ok, I have to go, she's getting the tongs to pinch me.

(12:42) -Toni-  
Have fun with your baking adventures!

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
Not likely.

*

Wednesday PM

(10:58) -Toni-  
Pst. Bombshell. You awake?

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
Mhm.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Shit, did I wake you up again?

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
No, no, I've been lying here since nine. Staring at the ceiling. Being bored.

(11:01) -Toni-  
Should have hit me up.

(11:01) -Cheryl-  
Didn't want to bother you.

(11:02) -Toni-  
You could never bother me, Bombshell.

(11:02) -Toni-  
You can keep me amused, however.

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
How?

(11:04) -Toni-  
It's night time and I'm bored. I require a scary story.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Are you huddled around a fireplace in the middle of the woods?

(11:05) -Toni-  
No.

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
Then it can't be done.

(11:06) -Toni-  
You owe me a story! I gave you a story. A nice lighthearted tale.

(11:06) -Toni-  
OO I have marshmallows if that makes it any better.

(11:07) -Cheryl-  
Where the heck did you get marshmallows?

(11:07) -Toni-  
From under the bed.

(11:08) -Cheryl-  
That wasn't quite what I was asking but I don't think I want an answer anymore.

(11:08) -Toni-  
Do you know what I want? A scary story.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
Ok, fine, but don't expect it to be fantastic. I've never told nor really heard a scary story before.

(11:09) -Toni-  
Really? Man, you're missing out on some real anxiety over creaking floorboards in that case.

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Hang on, give me a second.

[Calling Toni]

"It's more affective this way, I think."

"Mm, I agree. I'm going to have to whisper because it turns out Jughead, Fangs and Sweetpea were listening in on our last late night conversation."

"Fair enough. I'll whisper to so you don't fall into a normal speaking voice."

"And so you don't wake up Sheba."

"Of course. Obviously."

"Now, Bombshell, provide me with a story."

"I can't think of a way to start this that isn't cliché."

"I'll do it then: it was a dark and stormy night."

"It was a dark and stormy night when you came walking back to your trailer after an exceptionally good night of... motorbiking."

"Wait, you're making me the protagonist?! Dude, you're gonna kill me!!"

"I don't want to write my own death! Plus, you wanted the scary story. You might as well get kinda scared from it."

"Fine. I was coming back from an exceptionally good night of motorbiking."

"Everything was pitch black around you, and the night was silent bar the crunching leaves underfoot. You tried not to let the darkness get to you, but you couldn't stop the shiver that ran down your spine as an owl hooted in the distance."

"I sound like a baby."

"I'm pretty sure you had a rule of no interrupting."

"Arrh, ok go."

"Sneaking back into your trailer was difficult, as the wind in the trees howled at your presence, the metal of the trailers creaking from around you. The dirt and rubble nearly swallowed you in with each passing step, and when you heard a crackle from a few steps back, you hardly noticed.

"The door groaned as you slowly opened it, and you found all your friends were fast asleep, strewn haphazardly around the trailer. You throw your helmet onto your bed, and slump down on it to pull off your shoes when you notice the door still open, letting in streaks of moonlight.

"You get up to close the door, an itching feeling tickling your back, and when you reach out blindly to find your bed your hand brushes a solid form. It feels like a hoodie, and you jump back but immediately start punching into the darkness, but there's nothing there. Clicking on your phone, you see nothing in the new light, and thus resign to go to bed."

"Did I suddenly become a dickhead in this story?"

"I'm just describing what would be real to life."

"You think I'd punch some air and let it be?"

"Ok, I lied. I think you'd squeal like a child and flail about a bit."

"I would not!"

"Would so! Now shut up, you're ruining the atmosphere."

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine."

"Ok. Um. Oh, ok, so you're lying in bed and trying to sleep off the exhaustion of an exceptionally good night of motorbiking when you notice the door is still open. You throw the covers off exasperatedly, and slam the door shut in your frustration.

"But your friends don't stir.

"You try to convince yourself it's just a draft that's shivering the back of your neck, and when you crawl into bed you try and ignore the sudden coldness of the bed.

"Is any of this doing anything?"

"The floor board just creaked so yes. Keep going."

"I feel like an idiot."

"Keep going! I need to know how I die now. Come on."

"Ok fine. The wind outside was howling, and through the crack in the windowsill it sounded like screams. While lying in bed, you can't help but feel an overpowering presence in the room. You can't see a thing with your eyes open, but you imagine a stoic figure standing in the corner of the room, watching you watch him."

"It is pretty fuckin' dark in here."

"You're not entirely sure, but you think you see the shadow in the darkness shift, and without thinking croak out, 'Fangs?' But he doesn't respond.

"You pull the blanket over your head, lighting up your phone in you makeshift tent, and through the blanket can see a dark spot moving over you.

"Toni?"

"No talking. Just story."

"Ok, ok. On your phone, you start to text your friends frantically, and in the darkness you hear their phones buzz, but their bodies don't move. Suddenly, the shadow moves away from vision, and you strain to listen  
for it in the silent night.

"Then you feel a heavy drop at the foot of your bed, as if someone sat-"

"AAHHH HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOUSE!"

"Toni?!"

"JEEEEEEEEESUS CHRIST."

"There's no need to be mocking."

"SWEETPEA YOU ABSOLUTE PRICK."

"What?"

"YOU FUCKING DICK I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. I'm sorry Bombshell, Pea just pulled on my foot because he's a twat with no respect."

"At least you got scared, huh? Wasn't that the aim?"

"Foot grabbing is cheating! And I'm going to be honest, I /was/ freaking a little from your stupid story. Did you really have to set it to where I am currently?"

"Maximum affect."

"No kidding. Oh god. The boys won't stop laughing. Bombshell? Oh no, not you too!"

"You squealed! Like I said you would!"

"Stop laughing at me! Damn you, of course I squealed, I'm a big baby."

"Big frightened baby. Big squeaky baby."

"Ok, I get it! Baby!"

"Don't get mad now, baby."

"The next time you call me 'baby' I'm taking it as a term of endearment-shut up Jughead!"

"I guess your whispering didn't work then."

"No, amazingly. I guess I should go to bed now. It's nearly midnight. And why the hell aren't you guys in your own trailers!"

"I'll talk to you later, Toni."

"Yeah. Cya, babe."

"Good night."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Thursday AM

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
Some interesting comments coming from the background last night.

(9:39) -Toni-  
Hm? Like what?

(9:39) -Cheryl-  
"Stop flirting and go back to sleep."

(9:40) -Toni-  
That's just Fangs being a dick. Ignore him.

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
Archie comes home today. We are having a party with my failed cake and there will be people there. Not many, we don't really socialize honestly.

(9:41) -Toni-  
You can do it, Bombshell

(9:41) -Toni-  
How'd the cake turn out, anyway?

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
Betty fixed it up and there's enough icing on the top to disguise how disfigured it looks.

(9:42) -Toni-  
I'm sure it's a masterpiece.

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
Betty has the hand writing of a goddess, and in stupid loopy letters managed to fit 'Welcome Home Arch!' onto the monster. It's incredible.

(9:43) -Toni-  
I better get ready for it then.

(9:44) -Toni-  
You ok Bombshell?

(9:44) -Cheryl-  
Of course. I'll talk to you later.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Have fun, Cher.

*

Thursday MIDDAY

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
So the welcome home party is at Archie's house and his mother is hilarious.

(12:24) -Toni-  
Baby pictures?

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
No, she just insults everyone whilst wearing a duck on her hat.

(12:25) -Toni-  
Ducks are cute, Bombshell! Don't be dissing!

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
No, it's a literal duck. Shot and stuffed and stitched onto a hat. Some... weird gift from her brother I think

(12:26) -Toni-  
Yikes. Wait until she pulls out a swan scarf.

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
It really wouldn't surprise me.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
She just told me that my 'eyes will go square if I don't stop looking at that thing,' meaning my phone.

(12:27) -Toni-  
She has a valid point, Bombshell. It's a very severe condition, the Square Eyeitis. I wouldn't want you to fall victim.

(12:28) -Cheryl-  
I already wear glasses, I don't know what else could go wrong for me.

(12:28) -Toni-  
YOU WEAR GLASSES?

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
...Yes? Just for reading.

(12:29) -Toni-  
WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED SOONER??

(12:30) -Cheryl-  
What, do you need to give me swirlies in the toilet for being such a nerd?

(12:30) -Toni-  
Bombshell, this is the best news I have heard all day. You're such a dork. An adorable dork.

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
I've already told you, I'm not adorable.

(12:31) -Toni-  
Yes, yes, you're an angry young lady in glasses. What kind of glasses?

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
I'm not answering that.

(12:32) -Toni-  
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Boooooombshelllll?

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
Ugh.

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
Black. Thick rimmed.

(12:34) -Toni-  
Are you telling me...

(12:34) -Cheryl-  
YES I have hipster glasses, ok? I broke my normal ones and I was too lazy to get the fancy kind 

(12:35) -Toni-  
Oh my god.

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
I was fifteen! It was a fad!

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
And they are JUST FOR READING.

(12:36) -Toni-  
"Just for reading'... are you wearing them now?

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
I want to move on from this topic.

(12:37) -Toni-  
You are wearing them now, aren't you?

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
Ugh, well I'm reading, aren't I?

(12:38) -Toni-  
Neeeeeeeerd.

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
Archie has just called me Four Eyes. Why is this happening.

(12:39) -Toni-  
They're a beacon. The hipster is strong.

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
Say that again and I'll come at you with my veganism and ukulele.

(12:40) -Toni-  
Oh, how horrifying. Scarier than your story.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
I like to think of it as a team effort between me and Sweetpea. You squealed like a pig.

(12:41) -Toni-  
Yes, ok, I get it, thank you! Fangs wears glasses too. Circular ones, bc he's an even bigger dork than you.

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
And does Fangs look, as you say, like an adorable dork?

(12:42) -Toni-  
Ew no, he's like my brother. Don't be weird, Cheryl

(12:43) -Toni-  
I mean, if I could pick my brother, I'd pick Fangs

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
Beside this mysterious brother I only heard about last week, do you have any other siblings?

(12:44) -Toni-  
Nah, but I have too many cousins to count that are – were – always at the house. My house. Old house.

(12:44) -Toni-  
Fuck, house I used to occupy.

(12:45) -Toni-  
Their house.

(12:45) -Toni-  
Their house. Yes.

(12:45) -Toni-  
Do you have any siblings?

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
Besides my dead twin? No.

(12:46) -Toni-  
Oh fuck, right, I'm so sorry... Jesus. I'm an idiot

(12:47) -Cheryl-  
It's alright. It's been a while, though JJ is still everything to me. Well, almost.   
Anyway, I did have a pet bird but he flew away. His name was Feather.

(12:47) -Toni-   
Oh, of course it was. I bet I can tell who the favourite child was 

(12:47) -Cheryl-  
If you say Feather I swear I'll hit you.

(12:28) -Toni-  
With your bicycle and ukulele again?

(12:48) -Cheryl-  
Yes. So don't provoke me.

(12:49) -Toni-  
You're cute when you're angry.

(12:49) -Cheryl-  
Stoooooooooop

(12:50) -Toni-  
I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm sure your anger is valid.

(12:51) -Cheryl-  
I'm not really angry. You're just insistent.

(12:51) -Cheryl-  
Archie's Grandmother says I'm 'too skinny for my own good.' Charming woman, really. 

(12:52) -Toni-  
His grandma is starting to sound as dick-y as your parents

(12:52) -Cheryl-  
Hang on

(12:53) -Cheryl-  
That line was a plot to get me to eat cake.

(12:53) -Toni-  
YOUR cake??

(12:54) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god I'm eating my cake.

(12:54) -Toni-  
How is it?

(12:55) -Cheryl-  
Surprisingly good. It's chocolate, so you can never go wrong with that. It's difficult to fuck up a chocolate cake, even with my skill set.

(12:55) -Toni-  
Bc chocolate is that good?

(12:56) -Cheryl-  
Because it's hard to see and taste wrong chocolate when it's all mixed in together.

(12:57) -Cheryl-  
Ok, Betty is threatening to take my phone.

(12:57) -Toni-  
Ughhhhhh. Very well. It seems someone has come between us once again.

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
It won't be long until I can return to you, fear not.

(12:58) -Toni-  
I long for that day, Bombshell. Until then, farewell.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Remember me, Antoinette.

(1:00) -Toni-  
Don't you dare.

*

Thursday PM

(2:22) -Cheryl-  
My mother has become aware of your existence.

(2:23) -Toni-  
And you still have the phone? Miracle.

(2:23) -Cheryl-  
Betty accidentally let it slip walking me in. Saying to stay off my phone and take a break from my incessant conversations with you. We don't talk to her now >:(

(2:24) -Toni-  
Harsh. I like it. So, how does your mom deal with you talking to Southside scum?

(2:24) -Cheryl-  
Ugh, now my mum keeps asking when we can have you over for dinner. Like this became 'Meet the Parents'.

(2:25) -Toni-  
HAHA. So, who did you say I was?

(2:26) -Cheryl-  
.... a guy I met while on a walk. 

(2:27) -Toni-  
A guy? Well, when she sees my tits and tiny frame I don't think she'll believe you. 

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
Yeah I was panicking. 

(2:27) -Toni-  
I get what you mean about meet the parents though

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
What?

(2:28)-Toni-  
Haha, well, all my friends think you're my girlfriend, so.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
...What?

(2:28) -Toni-  
Ahh sorry. That's weird.

(2:29)-Cheryl-  
It's not really. I mean. I think mine tops that.

(2:29) -Toni-  
Why?

(2:29) -Cheryl-  
Betty calls you lover girl.

(2:30) -Toni-  
HAHA OH MY GOD

(2:31) -Toni-  
So our friends seem pretty intent on us actually being together.

(2:31) -Cheryl-  
Right? Friendship is subpar for them.

(2:32) -Cheryl-  
The Couple Effect, I call it. They are in a relationship, so every one they see who isn't needs to be in one immediately.

(2:32) -Toni-  
Oh I like that. Yeah, Fangs was never like this before meeting 'the one'. He's not doing it to Jug or Pea though, which is annoying.

(2:33) -Cheryl-  
Their time will come.

(2:33) -Toni-  
It better.

(2:34) -Toni-  
Is Archie in on this?

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, he's pretty into playing match maker. He has a romantic gene. I think it's the guilt for the Heather thing, he sort of introduced us.

(2:37) -Toni-  
She never deserved you.

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Oh

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Um

(2:39) -Cheryl-  
Thank you?

(2:42) -Toni-  
Bombshell. Really, though. You deserved better than that. Even if you were kids.

(2:43) -Cheryl-  
Well I've got you now.

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
That was a weird reply, I'm sorry.

(2:46) -Toni-  
No, it's, uh, ok. You're right though. I mean, you have got me.

(2:48) -Cheryl-  
...Yeah?

(2:49) -Toni-  
Yeah. Pretty much. Hah.

(2:50) -Toni-  
Wow that sounds lame.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
It's ok. I don't think I could get rid of you even if you left, anyway.

(2:52) -Toni-  
I wont leave

(2:53) -Toni-  
I know you probably don't believe me but really, Cheryl. We'll be 80 and I'll send you a stupid picture of a dog I saw on the street or something.

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
Toni...I won't make it to 80.

(2:54) -Toni-  
Then I won't leave for as long as you're here.

(2:55) -Cheryl-  
Thank you, Toni.

(2:55) -Cheryl-  
We're totally not girlfriends, huh?

(2:56) -Toni-  
Haha, maybe we should rethink.

(2:56) -Toni-  
I mean. Like. If that's. Something to consider.

(2:56) -Toni-  
Idk.

(2:57) -Cheryl-  
Oh, um, I mean, yeah ok. I'd like that.  
A lot. Not a weird a lot just yknow. Okay I'll shut up now.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
...ok maybe you weren't being for real.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
Shit.

*

(5:22) -Unknown Number-  
CHERYL IT'S TONI I AM SO SORRY MY PHONE GOT TAKEN OFF ME IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND THE FUCKING TEACHER READ OUT OUR MESSAGES IT WAS MORTIFYING AND IM ON FANGS' PHONE NOW IM SORRY IM SORRY WE'LL TALK TOMORROW WHEN I GET MY PHONE BACK PLEASE DON'T BE MAD.

(5:23) -Unknown Number-  
IF IT'S ANY TESTAMENT TO HOW SINCERE I AM JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO CONSIDER THAT YES I HAVE MEMORISED YOUR PHONE NUMBER.

(5:32) -Unknown Number-  
CHERYL?

(5:53) -Unknown Number-  
SHIT.

*

Friday AM

(8:32) -Betty-  
Arch and I are outside. Morning walk!

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
No.

(8:34) -Betty-  
Come on. We told you yesterday that this was happening.

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
And I promise I'll do it next week. Not today.

(8:35) -Betty-  
No, because next week you'll say the same thing and we end up in that same cycle as last year. Get out of bed, Cheryl.

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Not today, Betty, please go away.

(8:36) -Betty-  
What happened?

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
Nothing.

(8:37) -Betty-  
Is it lover girl?

(8:37) -Cheryl-  
Stop calling her that.

(8:38) -Betty-  
So it is about her. What the fuck did she do because I swear to god Cheryl if she did something-

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
I'm going back to bed.

(8:40) -Betty-  
No, not again. Your mum is going to let us in even if we have to claw our way in and we'll man handle you out of the bed if we have to. And then you will walk, tell us what's happened, and we'll help you.

(8:41) -Cheryl-  
Why are you doing this

(8:42) -Betty-  
Because we're your damn friends, Cheryl, now let us in.

(8:43) -Cheryl-  
Let me put pants on first.

(8:44) -Betty-  
Good girl

*

(9:21) -Toni-  
Has she replied to your phone?

(9:22) -Fangs Fagorty-  
No, Toni.

(9:23) -Toni-  
Shit. Fuck. I fucked up.

(9:23) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You haven't fucked up, Toni. Fucking Phillips has. This is his fault.

(9:24) -Toni-  
Yeah, but Bombshell has no way of believing that!

(9:25) -Fangs Fagorty-  
There's nothing you can do about that, T.

(9:25) -Toni-  
WELL THANK YOU FANGS THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I AM SO DISTRESSED

(9:26)-Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok, ok, chill! You just gotta... convince her somehow.

(9:26) -Toni-  
Wow, that never occurred to me.

[Jughead Was Added to the Conversation]

(9:27) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'm out of ideas. Jones, I need help here.

(9:28) -Juggy-  
If this is the Cheryl thing, have you tried calling her?

(9:29) -Toni-  
Not this morning. She had her phone off last night.

(9:29) -Toni-  
She never has her phone off.

(9:30) -Juggy-  
Battery died?

(9:31) -Toni-  
Let's be real here. She was avoiding me. Still is.

(9:31) -Juggy-  
Try calling her again after class. She has to turn it back on at some point.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Do you think she'll forgive me if I learn how to say 'I'm sorry' in 32 different languages?

(9:32) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I think she'll forgive you as soon as you're able to fully explain the situation. This will blow over, Toni, I promise.

(9:33) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Besides texting in class, you've done nothing wrong.

(9:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Until you are able to call Cheryl after class, we must plot revenge against Phillips.

(9:34) -Juggy-  
Yeah! Well, if it makes you feel better. It would make me feel better.

(9:35) -Toni-  
Did you have something in mind, boys?

(9:36) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yes. And it involves Joaquin. That's how insidious it is.

(9:36) -Toni-  
I'm listening.

(9:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Gentlemen, let's get down to business.

*

[Voicemail Left at Ten-Thirty Five AM]

"Shit. Oh. Cheryl, it's Toni, if that wasn't immediately obvious. I'm calling you about yesterday. You haven't replied to any of my messages and just... uh, well, I guess I'm saying sorry again. The same bastard that kicked me out of class that one time confiscated my phone and read our messages to the class. This doesn't mean that I take back what I said. Not at all, God, please believe me. I just – shit I'm nearly out of time. Ah, please call or text me or something and don't you dare think you've done something wrong. I was being for real. Truly, honestly for real. I was being so real that you could almost say-"

[Voicemail Complete. Press 1 To Delete Message]

*

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
She left a voicemail. Oh god, what do I do?

(10:41) -Betty-  
What we discussed.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
What if she takes it badly and we stop talking all together?

(10:42) -Betty-  
Don't let it make you stop talking all together. I think it's fair, and if she doesn't, then you know she won't respect you.

(10:43) -Betty-  
What you're doing is fine.

(10:43) -Archie-  
And if it turns to shit then we'll beat her up.

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
I'd really like to see Betty beat someone up.

(10:45) -Betty-  
I totally could! I could beat your ass any day.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
And Archie's?

(10:46) -Betty-  
Cher, you have no idea. That boy is a softy.

(10:47) -Archie-  
Hey! I could take you both at the same time.

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
I know. That's why I'm kinda scared of you and will do whatever you say.

(10:48) -Archie-  
Then drink some cement and talk to lover girl.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
Ughhhh. You too?

(10:48) -Archie-  
Aye, aye, Captain.

*

Friday MIDDAY

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
What messages did he read out?

(12:02) -Toni-  
From 'I won't leave you' to 'I'd like that'.

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry your teacher's a dick.

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
And I'm sorry I haven't been replying.

(12:04) -Toni-  
It's fine. Just.... Are you angry?

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
No. Mostly I've just been scared.

(12:05) -Toni-  
I get that. I'm sorry.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry.

(12:06) -Toni-  
You didn't do anything wrong, either.

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
No, but the next bit will be my fault.

(12:07) -Toni-  
What do you mean?

(12:08) -Cheryl-  
You said you don't take back anything you said yesterday.

(12:09) -Toni-  
Uh huh.

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
I don't either.

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
But I may have reconsidered some... aspects of it.

(12:11) -Toni-  
Oh. Such as?

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
The, uh, part we were going to consider.

(12:13) -Toni-  
You don't want to consider it anymore?

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
I don't want to consider it right now. While you're still over there and I'm here and I don't even know your fucking surname.

(12:14) -Toni-  
Topaz

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
...you mean all this time you made me call you by your last name as an alias?

(12:15) -Toni-  
Yep. Toni Topaz.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Are you kidding me??

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Your name is Toni Topaz.

(12:17) -Toni-  
Yup.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
That's ridiculous. That's a strippers name

(12:18) -Toni-  
Trying very hard not to get offended here.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry. But jeez. Just wow.

(12:19) -Toni-  
Maybe we should get back to the conversation?

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Well, just because you told me your surname does not change how I think we should do this.

(12:20) -Toni-  
How should we do this?

(12:21) -Toni-  
Whatever this... is.

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
That was going to be my other point. We don't know what 'this' is and I think we should postpone it until we actually... meet, or have been meeting or something.

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
You know, how regular people do these things. Regular people who don't have insanely homophobic parents.

(12:23) -Toni-  
That sounds... sensible.

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
Are you upset?

(12:24) -Toni-  
No, Bombshell, of course not. I understand and yeah I see why that would be a better idea.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
And just so we're clear: not because I don't want to.

(12:25) -Toni-  
Yeah. Yeah, I know.

(12:25) -Toni-  
And not bc I don't want to either.

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
Cool. Um. Good.

(12:27) -Toni-  
Ok. Let's move on, bc this has been incredibly tense, Cheryl.

(12:28) -Cheryl-  
Blossom.

(12:29) -Toni-  
Is that meant to be

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
My name is Cheryl Blossom.

(12:30) -Toni-  
Holy shit this is better than I could have ever expected.

(12:31) -Toni-  
Nice to meet you, Cheryl Blossom. I'm Toni Topaz.

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
Good morning, Toni Topaz. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. And some.

(12:32) -Toni-  
I look forward to future encounters with you, Ms. Blossom

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
And you, Ms Topaz. Until then.

(12:33) -Toni-  
Fare thee well.

*

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
PACK YOUR BAGS LOSER YOU'RE GOING TO DETECTIVE SCHOOL

(12:41) -Betty-  
DAMN YOU CHERYL BLOSSOM I TOLD YOU I WAS RIGHT!

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
AND LOOK! YOU NOW HAVE A CAREER BECAUSE OF IT. YOU'RE SO SMART, BETTY!

(12:42) -Betty-  
When I get my degree, the first thing I'm going to do is use my newly attained knowledge to kill you.

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
I look forward to being murdered by you, Betts

(12:43) -Betty-  
Damn right.

*

Friday PM

(1:38) -Fangs-  
How'd it go?

(1:38)-Juggy-  
shes smiling, so it must have gone ok.

(1:39) -Sweets-  
And shes hasn't set anything on fire.

(1:39) -Toni-  
Yes, it went fine, thanks for asking.

(1:39) -Juggy-  
Well?

(1:40) -Toni-  
Well what?

(1:40) -Juggy-  
Do I have a sister-in-law or?

(1:41) -Toni-  
Oh, god, no.

(1:41) -Sweets-  
But the messages Phillips read out seemed to suggest otherwise...

(1:42) -Toni-  
Yeah, well, maybe we decided that not actually meeting was a bit of road block in the relationship lane.

(1:42) -Fangs-  
Long distance just isn't for everyone.

(1:43) -Sweets-  
So, wait, is that it?

(1:43) -Toni-  
No? What do you mean? We're still talking.

(1:44) -Sweets-  
Oh, so, it's not weird?

(1:44) -Toni-  
Well, not for me at least. I don't know about her

(1:45) -Toni-  
I guess what these series of events has done is given us an understanding of where we're at with each other. Or something. She used the term post pone.

(1:46) -Juggy-  
So, what? You've both acknowledged it and are now...?

(1:46) -Toni-  
Moving on until further notice, yes.

(1:47) -Sweets-  
That's cool. Considering you don't really /know/ know the girl, right? Like, you still don't even know what illness she has.

(1:47) -Toni-  
Oh, I completely forgot about that. But yeah. I guess that's a factor.

(1:48) -Fangs-  
In other news: the entire school knows you're now at least a lil gay.

(1:48) -Toni-  
Like they didn't know before 

(1:49) -Fangs-  
Let me rephrase: your family knows you now at least a lil gay.

(1:49) -Toni-  
Like they didn't know before. My grandpa has been on my ass about getting a girlfriend

(1:50) -Sweets-  
Dude, Thomas is terrifying. But such a G. Can't say the same for your brother though 

(1:50) -Toni-  
Oh I'm sure Malachai will have some shit to say. But he should know better from the last time I knocked him on his ass.

(1:51) -Juggy-  
If you say so.

(1:51) -Juggy-  
And if not, we'll be behind you, ready to kick the living shit out of him.

(1:52) -Sweets-  
Yeah, what he said! Any opportunity to knock that smug smile off his face.

(1:52) -Toni-  
Cheers, boys

(1:53) -Fangs-  
Does this mean we stop Operation Salt?

(1:53) -Toni-  
Hell no.

(1:54) -Fangs-  
Then we still have work to do.

*

Saturday AM

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
I have been given too much power.

(10:33) -Betty-  
I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it.

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
I haven’t clicked the link. But it's there. She has one.

(10:34) -Betty-  
It was a joke! I really don't think you should do it.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
I know. It's tempting though. There's only one profile and it has to be her. Who else has a name like that?

(10:35) -Betty-  
This is getting weird.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
I knowwwwwwwww Betts. I know. But surely you'd be curious too.

(10:36) -Betty-  
I am curious.

(10:37) -Betty-  
Ok, what if I look and tell you anything... relevant. That way you know but also don't know.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
Right. Ok. Seems fair.

(10:38) -Betty-  
Especially since you don't have a Facebook yourself. She can't stalk you.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
Can we not use that word?

(10:39) -Betty-  
Stalk? I'M SORRY DOES YOUR STALKING MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE?

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
SHUSH OK I KNOW, I'M A CREEP.

(10:40) -Betty-  
Just as long as you're aware of it. Ok. Topaz, wasn't it?

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(10:41) -Betty-  
Ok here she is. I'm doing it.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Ok, ok.

(10:42) -Betty-  
Her profile picture is a fucking motorcycle. She’s one of those people.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
That would be Elvendork.

(10:43) -Betty-  
I don't wanna know.

(10:44) -Betty-  
Ok so her profile and pictures are on private, but I can at least confirm that she's 17 and lives in Riverdale.

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
Oh thank god.

(10:45) -Betty-  
Can't see any pictures of her though. Sorry.

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
I think it's just as well.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Hey, what do you get when you search my name?

(10:48) -Betty  
Ummmm, besides your photography account..

(10:48) -Betty-  
OH MY GOD

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
What?!

(10:49) -Betty-  
OH GOOD LORD SEND HELP

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
BETTY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU FIND

(10:50) -Betty-  
MYSPACE

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
NO

(10:51) -Betty-  
THERE ARE PICTURES

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
NO NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING

(10:52) -Betty-  
GOOD GOD CHERYL YOUR ABOUT ME IS JUST LYRICS TO BLACK VIEL BRIDES

(10:52) -Cheryl-  
SHIT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE PASSWORD IT'S NOT LETTING ME IN

(10:53) -Betty-  
DID YOU TRY WOLFBOY96?

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
Oh thank God my twilight phase served me well, Betts you're a genius. Oh my /god/ this is terrible.

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
HAH YOU'RE IN MY TOP FRIENDS THOUGH

(10:56) -Betty-  
No you're kidding. I deleted it I swear I did.

(10:57) -Cheryl-  
Everything is blank but you still have a display picture. Nice coon tails.

(10:57) -Betty-  
Oh my god this is the worst. Who let us do this as kIDS

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
I don't know where to delete the account. They've done this on purpose. Myspace wants every one to live in their past misery.

(10:59) -Betty-  
Just... delete all photos and info and change your name to Jericho McHindleburg.

(10:59) -Betty-  
And when I say change your name, I mean you are no longer Cheryl Blossom. You must move on with your new identity.

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
I’ve been trying for the last 17 years. I am heavily considering it. This is tragic. 

(11:01) -Betty-  
At least we found it before your respective significant other and whoever my future hot beefcake of a boyfriend is

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
Ew. Also, I feel as if I should point out that Toni is not really my significant other, but yes I am relieved that this thing dies before she finds it.

(11:03) -Betty-  
She is so your significant other.

(11:04) -Betty-  
Ok, Archie is here, I need to do this later. FIND THE DELETE ACCOUNT OPTION PRONTO.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Will do, Lieutenant.

(11:04) -Betty-  
At ease, soldier. Good luck on your mission.

*

Saturday PM

(2:42) -Toni-  
We're not weird, are we?

(2:43) -Cheryl-  
I'm not if you're not.

(2:43) -Toni-  
I'm not. Fangs asked if we were so I thought I would make sure.

(2:44) -Cheryl-  
Well, it's all good on this end.

(2:45) -Toni-  
This end too. Which is lucky bc there's no game this weekend, so there's no training, so I have nothing to do.

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
I get to pound at my chest like King Kong. Makes for a funny visual.

(2:46) -Toni-  
Especially considering you are no where near the size of King Kong.

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
I am when I hold a Barbie doll and people throw paper planes at me.

(2:47) -Toni-  
HA

(2:47) -Toni-  
Why ARE you pounding your chest?

(2:48) -Cheryl-  
Treatment. It's weird, I know. It works though.

(2:48) -Toni-  
And how's your walking?

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
Is this idle chat or a check up?

(2:49) -Toni-  
Both.

(2:50) -Cheryl-  
No dogs this week, which I was thankful for. But a sidewalk doesn't exactly accommodate three people.

(2:50) -Toni-  
Ahhh third-wheeling hardcore.Just like me with Fangs and Kevin today.

(2:51) -Toni-  
It's even worse when they're holding hands, like is it really necessary?

(2:51) -Toni-  
You need to find a forth member. I've got Jughead and Sweetpea which makes it even better when Fangs has 'the one' with us and they're being gross.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
I should hold auditions. Seeking: one new friend to alleviate boredom while the other two are being awkward exes where Archie is still madly in love with her and stuff.

(2:53) -Toni-  
I'd audition.

(2:53) -Cheryl-  
Can you act?

(2:54) -Toni-  
They don't call me a drama queen for nothing.

(2:54) -Toni-  
I actually played Romeo in the play for English last year. Our school may be shitty, but we work with what we got and make some pretty bangin productions

(2:55) -Cheryl-  
You're kidding.

(2:55) -Toni-  
Nope. Fangs was pissed bc Juliet was 'the one'. Not my fault I’m a better Romeo

(2:56) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god.

(2:56) -Cheryl-  
Did you have to kiss him?

(2:57) -Toni-  
No, luckily, bc I think Fangs would have killed me, even though Kevin is all kinds of gay.

(2:57) -Cheryl-  
Did you have to do the whole Shakespearean thing? If so, I'm highly disappointed for your efforts earlier in the week.

(2:58) -Toni-  
Oh, no, we did a 'modernized' version where we kinda rewrote the scripts. That’s the Southside public school system at work

(2:58) -Toni-  
My very first line was "Damn, I wanna bang Rosaline."

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
No

(2:59) -Toni-  
Yes.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
This is unacceptable.

(3:00) -Toni-  
Fangs was Benvolio and Jughead was Mercutio. When it came time to kill Tybalt, Fangs just screamed "DO IT FOR THE VINE" and Jughead body slammed the guy playing Tybalt. Unscripted, mind you, but it was fucking hilarious.

(3:01) -Cheryl-  
I've changed my mind this sounds great.

(3:02) -Toni-  
Before avenging Jug I shouted "THIS. IS. VERONA." And kicked Tybalt in the chest.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
OH MY GOD

(3:03) -Toni-  
Yeah. God I love school sometimes. Though we don’t get any kind of funding from anywhere because of it

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
No kidding. You shot it off.

(3:04) -Cheryl-  
I'm feeling pretty bad for Tybalt, too.

(3:04) -Toni-  
OH it was Sweetpea, he was fine.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
You sure he didn't cause you bodily injury?

(3:05) -Toni-  
We had to pay him with some of our fart bombs but other than that he was cool with it.

(3:06) -Cheryl-  
Fart bombs. This does not surprise me.

(3:06) -Toni-  
Heh heh. You'd think we'd've grown out of it by now but... Fangs is stocking up tomorrow.

(3:07) -Toni-  
We have a plan.

(3:07) -Cheryl-  
Oh god what for?

(3:08) -Toni-  
One does not simply humiliate Toni Topaz.

(3:08) -Cheryl-  
Please don't slash his tires.

(3:09) -Toni-  
Oh, it's nothing so illegal Bombshell! That’s only reserved for holidays and republicans. Lighten up.

(3:09) -Cheryl-  
Really?

(3:10) -Toni-  
At the time I was murderous and was literally restrained by Pea and Jug, but now I'm in the calm calculating stage.

(3:10) -Cheryl-  
Somehow that scares me more.

(3:11) -Toni-  
Yeah, it probably should, but it also guarantees that nothing illegal will take place. At least nothing I'll get caught doing.

(3:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm nervous. What are you planning?

(3:12) -Toni-  
Don't be nervous, Bombshell! It's fool proof. I'll tell you how it goes when we do it.

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
Oh god that makes me even more nervous.

(3:13) -Toni-  
It'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiine. Worry wart.

(3:13) -Cheryl-  
Reckless punk.

(3:14) -Toni-  
Oh, I like that.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
Weirdo. Ok, mum's yelling at me because she 'doesn't hear enough exercise going on'. Or whatever. I'll talk to you later.

(3:15) -Toni-  
Cya Bombshell. Have fun "exercising".

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
I'm using a Wii Fit. This hardly counts.

(3:16) -Toni-  
Wii Fit Yoga?

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
Hah, no. You wish.

(3:17) -Toni-  
No stretch tight pants?

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
And no leg warmers.

(3:18) -Toni-  
You've truly disappointed me, Blossom/

(3:19) -Cheryl-  
I do what I can.

(3:19) -Toni-  
Stop texting me and go get all sweaty.

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
You stop texting me. And don't be weird.

(3:20) -Toni-  
No, you hang up first.

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
Fucking loser.

(3:21) -Toni-  
;)

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, never do that again.

(3:22) -Toni-  
I need to have the last word.

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Fine.

(3:23) -Toni-  
Fine.

*

Sunday AM

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
I'm going out to the public world today.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Wow, leaving the house? All by your lonesome?

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
I know, it's tragic. But with my parents away, gives me time to myself outside of this prison.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
I hate public people.

(10:04) -Toni-  
Public people?

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
It always seems like nice people stay home. You never run into a stranger that is kind. Public people are assholes and all look at me like a social pariah 

(10:05) -Toni-  
That is true. I have stayed home today.

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
And you're definitely not an asshole

(10:06) -Toni-  
Course not. Also, social pariah?

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
Ah, right. Well, you told me you’re apart of the Serpent gang, so I suppose I should tell you I’m a Blossom

(10:07) -Toni-  
Yes, I’m aware of that dummy

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
No, no I mean.. I’m a Blossom. Apart of /thee/ Blossoms. Up in Thornhill.

(10:08) -Toni-  
...wait, you mean... 

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
Yeah..

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Toni? 

(10:18) -Toni-  
Yeah, uh sorry... just... your dad-Clifford Blossom. Huge fan of General Pickens who... stole the Uktena land. The Snake which is the Serpents symbol and our codes are all Uktena tradition.   
General Pickens slaughtered men and women and children alike. And your fucking dad proudly honours Pickens Day like its some fucking... celebratory holiday. The serpents were formed as a way to keep the remainder of our family alive. Pickens murdered my grandpa’s parents.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Toni... I had no idea I’m-im so fucking sorry... Jesus Christ. I always knew my father and mother were vile but... God. 

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
Toni?

(10:24) -Cheryl-  
Fuck. If there’s anything I can do please just... tell me. I’ll cut the head off myself and... idk, just god. 

(10:29) -Toni-  
I’m a little thrown off though, I guess I should’ve known. The Blossoms are notorious but the Serpents sort of, busy ourselves away from them I suppose. It’s not your fault your dads a righteous prick.

(10:30) -Toni-  
Really, it’s okay. Youve proven you’re way more than the Blossom legacy. Anyway, Uh, let’s hold out on this... conversation till we meet in person. Even then... maybe for a while. 

(10:32) -Toni-  
um... so what are you doing in the big world, anyway?

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
Buying books. Also, it's apparently 'bad' for me to do walking in converse so I'm buying actual running shoes.

(10:35) -Toni-  
Oo, are you going to get the bright fluorescent ones?

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
What do you honestly believe the answer to that question is?

(10:36) -Toni-  
Way to let me down gently, Bombshell.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
I'm probably going to have to buy childrens' shoes because my feet are so small. So if they aren't fluro yellow, they'll probably have Dora the Explorer on them.

(10:38) -Toni-  
I can't complain with that.

(10:39)-Toni-  
Doesn't make me intimidating for when I threaten to gutter stomp someone, though so I’ll keep with my biker boots.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
...How often do you threaten to gutter stomp someone?

(10:42) -Toni-   
Don’t worry about that, Bombshell! How about you, though?

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Uh, Betty, yesterday.

(10:43) -Toni-  
Wow, talk about intense. I’m supposed to be the punk one.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
She was being very annoying, I promise.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Damn, I'll take your word for it.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Alright, im at the bookstore now. Can't text and walk or I'll end up like you with a stupid concussion.

(10:46) -Toni-  
Damn, girl gets a concussion once and she never lives it down.

(10:47) -Toni-  
Good luck on your shoe adventure.

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, thanks. I'll need it.

*

Sunday MIDDAY

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
I've done it. I bought shoes that fit and aren't children's. This is what victory feels like.

(12:39) -Toni-  
Aw, so no Batman design?

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
I'm afraid not.

(12:40) -Toni-  
That's a huge letdown.

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry my shoe selection isn't up to your standard.

(12:41) -Toni-  
Are you on your way home now? And also, if you’re a Blossom, don’t you have like... a lot of money?

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, but I prefer to stray as far as I can from my family’s dirty money. Anyway, I'm on the bus. And there's a guy behind me smoking.

(12:42) -Toni-  
What?

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
He is smoking

(12:43) -Toni-  
ON A BUS.

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
Hang on, my nana’s calling.

(12:43) -Toni-  
Ok.

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
She worries too much. She’s too old to be worrying about me all the time:

(12:58) -Toni-  
I'm a little worried, to be honest.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Oh come on, not you too.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Smoking guy has overheard my conversation and is now calling me a pussy.

(1:00) -Toni-  
Wow, you're right about public people.

(1:00) -Cheryl-  
He's in the seat directly behind me and keeps talking.

(1:01) -Cheryl-  
I am inhaling the smoke this is not good.

(1:01) -Toni-  
Bombshell, you have to move.

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
Yeah.

(1:02) -Toni-  
Bombshell?

(1:05) -Toni-  
Hello did you move??

(1:10) -Toni-  
Cheryl??

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
Sorry, I had to run off the bus.

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
He blew smoke into my face and I coughed so hard I threw up in someone's garden.

(1:15) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(1:16) -Toni-  
Cheryl, are you ok????

(1:16) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I'll be fine.

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
There's a couple that got off to help me.

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
They've even offered to break into someone's car to drive me to a hospital.

(1:17) -Toni-  
How considerate.

(1:18) -Cheryl-  
Right?

(1:20) -Cheryl-  
Holy shit

(1:20) -Toni-  
What?

*

(1:22) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Hey, Toni, don't freak out but I think I just met Cheryl.

(1:22) -Toni-  
WHAT

(1:24) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok ok she's gotten off the bus now

(1:24) -Toni-  
DUDE

(1:24) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I KNOW

(1:25) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'M SORRY

(1:25) -Toni-  
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

(1:26) -Fangs Fagorty-  
ARE YOU OK?

(1:26) -Toni-  
I DON'T KNOW.

(1:26) -Toni-  
I MEAN

(1:27) -Toni-  
YOU MET HER BEFORE ME??????

(1:27) -Toni-  
HOW COULD YOU

(1:28) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I DIDN'T MEAN TO I SWEAR.

(1:28) -Toni-  
Oh god

(1:28) -Toni-  
This is a disaster

(1:29) -Toni-  
Tell me everything

(1:29) -Fangs Fagorty-  
NO THAT'S A VIOLATION

(1:30) -Toni-  
No no, tell me, you owe me.

(1:30) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Do you want me to tell you?

(1:31) -Toni-  
Yessssssssss

(1:31) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok. Well. First off, she's a funny girl

(1:32) -Toni-  
DUH FANGS COME ON.

(1:32) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Well I just mean that when the guy was pestering her, he asked Cheryl who she was texting (which I assume was you) but she replied "Your dad, wondering when we can meet up and he can blow me."

(1:33) -Toni-  
HOLY SHIT

(1:33) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah. But after that she was choking so that was the end of the one-liners.

(1:34) -Toni-  
Ok I'm going to ask the obvious question.

(1:34) -Toni-  
What did she look like?

(1:35) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah.

(1:35) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Well, pretty much how she described. Pale. Thin. Redhead, light brown eyes and all that.

(1:36) -Fangs Fagorty-  
So hey, you weren't being catfished.

(1:36) -Toni-  
Catfishing involves making yourself appear more attractive.

(1:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Well, I'm going to be honest, but she downplayed it A LOT.

(1:37) -Toni-  
What do you mean?

(1:38) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Hang on.

(1:39) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Kevin says that she's gorgeous in the way that she's a shy-blushy type, but when she smiles it quickly becomes sexy.

(1:39) -Toni-  
Yeah, but Kevin’s dating you so I don't exactly trust his judgment.

(1:40) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Trust mine. The girls hot.

(1:40) -Toni-  
Ok good.

(1:41) -Toni-  
I mean, it doesn't matter at all.

(1:41) -Toni-  
But it helps. She has a hot voice-

(1:42) -Toni-  
It's a good bonus.

(1:42) -Toni-  
Does she know she met /you/?

(1:43) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah. I kinda... jumped out of the seat and hit Kevin shouting "it's her."

(1:43) -Toni-  
Oh, so, subtle then?

(1:44) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Shut up.

(1:44) -Toni-  
How did she take it?

(1:45) -Fangs Fagorty-  
She looked surprised. She didn't really know what to say.

(1:45) -Toni-  
Is she talking to you now?

(1:46) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Nah, she said she should see a doctor and we'll talk about it later.

(1:46) -Toni-  
Right.

(1:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'm sorry if I scared her away.

(1:48) -Toni-  
I doubt you have. Don't worry about it, man.

(1:49) -Toni-  
I guess... thanks for looking after her?

(1:49) -Toni-  
She said you offered to steal a car and drive her to the hospital. Really selling the serpents image.

(1:50) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Oh shit yeah that reminds me.

(1:50) -Toni-  
Mm?

(1:51) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I... know what she has.

(1:51) -Toni-  
Her illness?

(1:52) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yeah.

(1:53) -Toni-  
Oh

(1:53) -Toni-  
I think that would breach the terms of our contract.

(1:54) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Toni, I think the contract might be off after this.

(1:54) -Toni-  
We'll see.

(1:55) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Do you want to meet her?

(1:56) -Toni-  
Of course! So badly

(1:57) -Fangs Fagorty-  
It's ok if you don't.

(1:57) -Toni-  
I do. I really, really do.

(1:58) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Then?

(1:59) -Toni-  
Well, obviously Fangs, I'm fucking scared.

(2:00) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Of what?

(2:00) -Toni-  
...What if she thinks I'm annoying?

(2:01) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I was joking T. You're not annoying.

(2:02) -Toni-  
But what if she thinks I am?

(2:03) -Fangs Fagorty-  
She won't. Because you're not.

(2:03) -Toni-  
What if she thinks I'm weird

(2:03) -Toni-  
Or trying too hard

(2:04) -Toni-  
Or ugly

(2:04) -Toni-  
Or an idiot

(2:05) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Toni! Stop!

(2:05) -Toni-  
WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME FANGS?

(2:06) -Fangs Fagorty-  
SHE WILL LIKE YOU TONI BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOVEABLE PERSON AND YOU'RE AN AMAZING FRIEND WHO'S LOYAL AND FUNNY BUT ALSO WISE AND CARING AND ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS please stop worrying Toni. She likes you now and she'll continue to like you when you meet. I swear to you.

(2:06) -Toni-  
Honestly?

(2:07) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Hell, I'd even say she’d like your raspy voice.

(2:07) -Toni-  
Asshole

(2:08) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Punk ass loser.

(2:09) -Toni-  
Thanks, Prongs.

(2:09) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Always. Now go get her.

(2:10) -Toni-  
Never say that again.

*

[Voicemail Left at Eight-Twenty Two PM]

"Hey, Toni. I'm not ignoring you but I'm in between tests and stuff and don't really have much time to reply. We'll talk tomorrow. I'm pretty sure they'll either let me loose or confine me to a bed. Whichever, I should have time. Until then, Fangs is really nice, and so's his boyfriend, and I don't think I properly said thank you. So if you could pass that on, that would be great. I'll talk to you soon. Promise."


	6. Love Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Such softies

Chapter Text  
Monday AM

(9:01) -Toni-  
How are you feeling?

(9:02) -Cheryl-  
Heavy in the chest. Otherwise, fine.

(9:02) -Toni-  
Okay, now emotionally.

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
I don't really know. You?

(9:03) -Toni-  
Confused, I guess. Where to go from here.

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Well, um, I guess you know what it is.

(9:05) -Toni-  
No. I mean. I could ask Fangs but I haven't.

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Why not?

(9:06) -Toni-  
Didn't know if you would want me to.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
I always knew you would find out eventually. Betted on it, even.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Yeah, but asking Fangs would be cheating.

(9:07) -Cheryl-  
I don't mind.

(9:08) -Toni-  
Why don't you tell me instead?

(9:08) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Ok.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
I have cystic fibrosis.

(9:10) -Toni-  
I know. Figured it out a while ago, actually.

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
Then why didn't you mention it?!

(9:11) -Cheryl-  
I was scared you wouldn't like me.

(9:11) -Toni-  
Of course I would like you, idiot.

(9:12) -Toni-  
I was always worried you wouldn't like me.

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
Of course I would like you, idiot.

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Then there we go.

(9:13) -Toni-  
Yeah. Now what?

(9:15) -Cheryl-  
I don't know. I'm still waiting results. They'll probably need to drain the mucus from my lungs.

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
Too much info?

(9:16) -Toni-  
I should probably get used to it.

(9:17) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Ok.

(9:18) -Toni-  
So... if you have to stay in the hospital...

(9:19) -Cheryl-  
We wait. You're not visiting me in the hospital as the first time.

(9:19) -Toni-  
Ok. I can respect that.

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
Thank you, Toni

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
Ok, I'm being seen.

(9:21) -Toni-  
Good luck. I still like you, idiot.

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, yeah. You too, idiot.

*

(10:01) -Juggy-  
Is it happening?

(10:02) -Toni-  
No. She doesn't want me seeing him in the hospital.

(10:02) -Sweets-  
That's... fair enough?

(10:03) -Toni-  
Yeah. Of course.

(10:03) -Toni-  
I'm seeing that we keep putting it off, though.

(10:03) -Juggy-  
Right. So. What are you gonna do?

(10:04) -Toni-  
I don't know. Wait until she's out of the hospital and broach it again?

(10:04) -Toni-  
Sounds like a plan.

(10:05) -Sweets-  
Let's hope it works.

*

Monday MIDDAY

(12:56) -Cheryl-  
I'm back in.

(12:57) -Archie-  
But we all just got out!!! Unfair. What happened?

(12:57) -Cheryl-  
Smoker on a bus. But that's the least of my problems right now.

(12:58) -Betty-  
Oh?

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
She knows.

(12:58) -Archie-  
WOAH

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
I ran into her friend on the bus (when the smoking thing happened) and yeah it kinda went from there.

(12:59) -Archie-  
So are you meeting now?!

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
No!

(1:00) -Betty-  
WHY NOT THAT WAS THE DEAL CHERYL

(1:01) -Cheryl-  
I am not meeting her while I'm in the hospital. It should only be a few days and then I need to rest at home, so I can't leave the house.

(1:02) -Betty-  
Damnit, Cher, it was so close.

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
I know. But. She said she's known for a while.

(1:02) -Betty-  
What?

(1:03) -Cheryl-  
She knew I had cystic fibrosis but just didn't say anything.

(1:03) -Betty-  
Why?

(1:04) -Cheryl-  
She claimed it was because she was scared I wouldn't like her 

(1:05) -Archie-  
'She claimed.' You don't believe her? Also what does that even mean 

(1:06) -Cheryl-  
I don't know. How could she possibly be scared I wouldn't like her? I'm the sick one!

(1:06) -Archie-  
Maybe the whole 'I'm good looking and I know it' schtick is a facade.

(1:07) -Cheryl-  
No. She's got the voice of a hot girl.

(1:07) -Betty-  
Really? That's your proof?

(1:07) -Cheryl-  
What are you saying? This is a catfish?

(1:08) -Betty-  
I don't know, Cheryl. Just providing insight into why she would be scared to meet you.

(1:08) -Cheryl-  
I was thinking more she was scared I was ugly.

(1:08) -Archie-  
CHER!!!

(1:09) -Cheryl-  
What, it's valid isn't it? I haven't exactly sold myself either.

(1:10) -Archie-  
Based on what you know of this girl, do you really think appearance is a big concern of hers?

(1:10) -Cheryl-  
Good looking people have standards, right?

(1:11) -Archie-  
If she was concerned about that, she would have asked for a photo by now. Right?

(1:12) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. I guess.

(1:13) -Archie-  
You know I'm right.

(1:14) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Ok.

(1:14) -Betty-  
If you're so concerned, why don't you ask her?

(1:16) -Cheryl-  
"Toni, what are your main insecurities?"

(1:16) -Betty-  
Dick. You know what I mean.

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
Maybe. But she'd ask me back.

(1:18) -Betty-  
Then be prepared to answer.

(1:18) -Cheryl-  
We'll see. I'll think about it.

(1:19) -Betty-  
Damn right.

*

Monday PM

(6:23) -Cheryl-  
I'm back to the shit food.

(6:24) -Toni-  
Crying children?

(6:24) -Cheryl-  
Not yet, but it's still early. As long as they aren't distant relatives of a friend of a friend 

(6:24) -Toni-  
Haha

(6:25) -Toni-  
How long do you think you'll need to stay there?

(6:26) -Cheryl-  
Few days at most unless something tragic happens (I die of boredom) but then I get to be bed ridden for a few days after that.

(6:27) -Toni-  
Woo movie marathon.

(6:27) -Cheryl-  
I think by this point I have seen every film in existence.

(6:28) -Toni-  
Even all the Alien renditions?

(6:29) -Cheryl-  
Yes. And the Predator ones. Multiple times.

(6:29) -Toni-  
Wow. I was kidding. Didn't think you'd be into that.

(6:30) -Cheryl-  
There's something about a baby alien bursting out of someone's chest that's very satisfying.

(6:31) -Toni-  
...Are we sure you're not the serial killer?

(6:32) -Cheryl-  
And what, my weapon of choice is aliens?

(6:32) -Toni-  
Do you have aliens? Tell me now.

(6:33) -Cheryl-  
No. However... do you?

(6:33) -Toni-  
Well, Sheba does look awfully suspicious.

(6:34) -Cheryl-  
Are they the kind of goldfish with the big bulgy eyes?

(6:34) -Toni-  
Yes.

(6:34) -Toni-  
*1 image attached*

https://www.tfhmagazine.com/-/media/Images/TFH2-NA/US/articles/227_goldfish_myths_debunked.jpg

(6:35) -Cheryl-  
OH MY GOD IT'S A PICTURE OF SHEBA

(6:36) -Toni-  
I've been meaning to send it to you. They should come keep you company while you're staying in the hospital. They make good conversation :)

(6:37) -Cheryl-  
That wouldnt be keeping you company, as it's meant to.

(6:37) -Toni-  
I know. But we could send each other smoke signals

(6:38) -Cheryl-  
You should try doves. Very efficient.

(6:39) -Toni-  
I'll keep it in mind.

(6:41) -Toni-  
In sophomore year they decided that Fangs, Jug and Pea and I couldn't keep our one shared locker so we were like "fine but we get to pick which lockers we DO have."

(6:42) -Toni-  
So obviously we picked them right next to each other.

(6:42) -Cheryl-  
It's like your teachers didn't even try.

(6:45) -Toni-  
I know. Also when we were kids we were all in the same group home, but we weren't allowed to share the same room so outside the building we set up a pulley system so a bucket could be transported the length of the three rooms. We also each had a bell outside the window with connecting strings so when the bucket arrived to a certain window we could ring their bell to let them know.

(6:46) -Cheryl-  
Most people leave the room and sneak in.

(6:47) -Toni-  
Yeah, but we were assholes. It took the home months to figure out what the ringing bells in the middle of the night was.

(6:48) -Cheryl-  
You guys were assholes. So elaborate on something so minute.

(6:48) -Toni-  
Hey, we got to share a bedroom forever after that! Also started up some great rumour about a Bloody Mary in the building haunting it lol

(6:49) -Cheryl-  
Oh you would have loved that.

(6:50) -Toni-  
I did. We dressed Jug up in a dirty white dress and sent him out on the grounds for Halloween. Everyone screamed. It was amazing.

(6:51) -Cheryl-  
No, no. You are definitely the serial killer

(6:52) -Toni-  
We could be murder wives

(6:52) -Cheryl-  
Murder wives? Is that a thing?

(6:52) -Toni-  
Sure. It is now.

(6:53) -Cheryl-  
If this is your proposal, it sucks.

(6:54) -Toni-  
CHERYL BLOSSOM I CAN'T FIND A REASON TO LIVE AND KILL WITHOUT YOU. WOULD YOU DO ME THE GREATEST HONOUR AND HAVE MY HAND IN MARRIAGE?? SAY YES OR I'LL MURDER YOU.

(6:55) -Cheryl-  
I guess you leave me no choice

(6:55) -Cheryl-  
But to kill you first.

(6:56) -Toni-  
I'd like to see you try.

(6:56) -Cheryl-  
It wouldn't be very exciting. I would probably poison you.

(6:57) -Toni-  
Poison? Cop out.

(6:57) -Cheryl-  
I'm not very physically strong. Poison it is.

(6:57) -Toni-  
I'll be wary of drinks left around you then.

(6:59) -Cheryl-  
When we were 15, Archie, Betty and I used to make paper airplanes and throw them to each other with a message.

(7:00) -Toni-  
That sounds a lot easier than our pulley system.

(7:01) -Cheryl-  
Definitely. Archie's messages were mostly dicks though, and Betty kept writing limericks.

(7:02) -Toni-  
Any memorable ones?

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
Not really. All the ballsack to penis ratios were very inaccurate.

(7:03) -Toni-  
...I meant the limericks.

(7:04) -Cheryl-  
I know.

(7:04) -Cheryl-  
One of the nurses happened to find one written about her so naturally it's burned into my head.

(7:05) -Toni-  
Oh god yes

(7:06) -Cheryl-  
"There once was a nurse named Ky

(7:06) Who's needle jabbing would make you cry

(7:06) When asked "What's the deal?"

(7:06) She'd let out a squeal

(7:06) And we haven't really been the same since."

(7:07) -Cheryl-  
Based on a true story. She hates us now.

(7:08) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(7:09) -Cheryl-  
She was scary before this happened.

(7:09) -Toni-  
Do you just spend all your time pissing off nurses?

(7:09) -Cheryl-  
I don't mean to! She was never meant to see the limerick.

(7:10) -Toni-  
The curse of the dreaded limerick.

(7:11) -Cheryl-  
Ah, and the revenge of the nurse. She's yelling at me to get off 'that god-awful gadget'.

(7:11) -Toni-  
Sometimes I forget that I'm talking to you through a phone.

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
Well, it's definitely not morse code.

(7:12) -Toni-  
Not what I meant.

(7:13) -Cheryl-  
I know. And yeah, I get what you mean. This might be weird but - sometimes it feels like you're beside me and talking to me.

(7:14) -Toni-  
I like to pretend that you're here talking to me. Even though I'm in Pop's

(7:14) -Cheryl-  
Oh, how grand

(7:16) -Toni-  
Shush! And it's not 'grand,' it's great. It's the Great Diner of Riverdale.

(7:16) -Cheryl-  
I have a bed tray. I think I win.

(7:17) -Toni-  
You also have to get off that god-awful gadget.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Wow, thank you Nurse Ky

(7:19) -Toni-  
I'll talk to you later, Cher

(7:19) -Cheryl-  
Cya, Toni.

*

Tuesday AM

(9:45) -Toni-  
This might be weird but

(9:45) -Toni-  
And this isn't some ego thing

(9:45) -Toni  
But, uh...

(9:46) -Cheryl-  
Come on, Toni, spit it out.

(9:46) -Toni-  
How do you imagine me?

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Um.

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
It's probably entirely wrong.

(9:48) -Toni-  
Well, then, I'll let you down gently. Come on!

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
Fine. Ok. So it's something like... long hair. Like, touching your shoulders? And brown. Maybe dark. And this is embarrassing.

(9:51) -Toni-  
Woah, dude, you're actually right so far.

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
You're kidding.

(9:52) -Toni-  
Nope. Keep going.

(9:54) -Cheryl1  
I told you I was psychic.

(9:55) -Toni-  
If it adds, I have to wear my hair as a high ponytail when I'm cheering

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
You definitely have to be kidding now.

(9:56) -Toni-  
Again: Nope.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
This is incredible.

(9:56) -Toni-  
What?

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
Nothing.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Leather jacket as casual wear and some big threatening boots.

(9:57) -Toni-  
Threatening?

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
The kinds of shoes I would wear when I wanted to threaten to gutter stomp someone.

(10:00) -Toni-  
Ahhh. Gotcha.

(10:01) -Toni-  
Also very accurate.

(10:01) -Cheryl-  
Wow. I should do card readings.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Your turn, then.

(10:03) -Toni-  
I have the upper hand of having first account witnesses to the beauty that is Cheryl Blossom

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
That's stretching it.

(10:04) -Toni-  
Nonsense. I have been greatly reassured by both Keller and Fangs that you're one hot motherfucker.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god no

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
They lied

(10:05) -Toni-  
They would never! I'm frankly starting to consider you to be an unreliable narrator, Bombshell.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
But, but... /glasses/

(10:06) -Toni-  
Oh yeah. AND APPARENTLY CARDIGANS?

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
Oh fuck no this is too much.

(10:07) -Toni-  
The punk and the dork. What a pair we make.

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
We sound like the worst sitcom ever.

(10:08) -Toni-  
It provides for an ultimate comedy duo! Although admittedly, Fangs might be a bit jealous of that.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
I suppose you two are the comedy kids.

(10:10) -Toni-  
The jokers of the class! Speaking of which, we must prepare for phase one of Operation Salt. I'll talk to you later.

(10:10)  
What is Operation Salt? Do I really want to know?

(10:11) -Toni-  
I told you, I'll tell you how it goes when we're finished. Relax, Bombshell, it's not like you're going to get into trouble.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Yes, but I won't have much to do over here if you get your phone taken (again)

(10:12) -Toni-  
I can assure you that if you stop messaging me now then my phone won't be taken

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
Fine. Don't get caught.

(10:13) -Toni-  
That's the spirit.

*

(10:45) -Toni-  
Kevin, are you in position?

(10:46) -Kevin-  
I thought we agreed on code names, Topaz.-

(10:46) -Toni-  
In that case, Keller, start using mine.

(10:47) -Kevin-  
Yes, First Lady, I am in position.

(10:47) -Toni-  
Excellent work, Songbird. Fogarty, update on your front?

(10:48) -Fangs-  
Good. I have my hand firmly situated over Jones’ mouth so he doesn't squeal.

(10:49) -Juggy-  
Is this really necessary?! We could be expelled!

(10:50) -Toni-  
We've already told you, Jughead! You won't get convicted for this. You used your free pass.

(10:50) -Fangs-  
Dodgy time to use your one and only free pass, though, when your best friend needed you most.

(10:50) -Juggy-  
Toni, I love you, but this is going too far, man

(10:51) -Kevin-  
Boys, you can squabble later! Do I do it? Now??

(10:51) -Toni-  
YES SONGBIRD. INITIATE PHASE ONE OPERATION SALT: NOW!

(10:51) -Kevin-  
Here goes nothing.

(10:54) -Fangs-  
This is excruciating.

(10:54) -Toni-  
Fangs, if you fuck this up bc you got territorial I will rip your throat out with my teeth.

(10:55) -Toni-  
I think Songbird would do it first, mind you

(10:56) -Sweets-  
FANGS YOU'RE IN GO GO GO.

(10:57) -Juggy-  
This is terrible. I'm so anxious.

(10:57) -Sweets-  
Jug, you're not even doing anything.

(10:58) -Juggy-  
But still! I don't want all my friends to go to jail. Again.

(10:58) -Toni-  
We won't be put in jail!

(10:59) -Juggy-  
No, just life long detention. And really, what's the difference?

(11:01) -Kevin-  
What's this about prison?

(11:01)-Toni-  
SONGBIRD YOU'RE ALIVE. HOW'D IT GO?

(11:02) -Kevin-  
I got the details. His number is saved onto my phone. Do we tell Fangs that he can stop talking to him now?

(11:02) -Sweets-  
Nah, he looks like he's going to cry from boredom. I wanna see how far he takes this.

(11:03) -Juggy-  
He is risking his life for you. You might want to be kind to him.

(11:03) -Toni-  
Jughead! Stop this! No one is dying or being sent to prison. Just shush. Also, you love true crime and mysteries, it’s ridiculous how 

(11:04) -Juggy-  
Whatever. I'm not bailing you guys, is all I'm saying.  
And theres a difference between voluntary detective work and being sent to jail over some stupid vengeance!

(11:10) -Fangs-  
Really, Toni, you were just gonna let him talk to me for half an hour?

(11:10) -Toni-  
It was fifteen minutes. Relax.

(11:11) -Fangs-  
Songbird, I hear you were successful?

(11:12) -Kevin-  
Phase one is complete. Mission accomplished, gentlemen.

(11:12) -Toni-  
Hey, that's my line!

(11:13) -Kevin-  
Fineee

(11:13) -Toni-  
PHASE ONE IS COMPLETE. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, COMRADES. TOMORROW WE SHALL PROCEED. I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

*

Tuesday PM

(5:34) -Cheryl-  
Still alive, I hope?

(5:35) -Toni-  
Wow, you and Jughead are insistent on the pessimism of the operation.

(5:35) -Cheryl-  
I've started a eulogy. Just wanted to know if I could carry on.

(5:36) -Toni-  
Carry on, by all means. You won't be needing it anytime soon, however.

(5:36) -Cheryl-  
So the operation went on without a hitch?

(5:37) -Toni-  
Not a single one. It was beautiful. So smooth and elegant.

(5:37) -Cheryl-  
Do I get to hear about it or must I wait until the whole operation is complete?

(5:38) -Toni-  
Hm... I can tell you each phase. Today was the preliminary stage. Preparations. The real deal starts tomorrow.

(5:39) -Cheryl-  
And what did you do today?

(5:40) -Toni-  
I acquired the teacher's - Phillips - phone number.

(5:41) -Cheryl-  
Your flirting knows no bounds.

(5:42) -Toni-  
Ew no. No, no, no. Songbird did the flirting.

(5:42) -Toni-  
Sorry, uh, Fangs' boyfriend

(5:43) -Cheryl-  
This is a gang. You have initiated someone else into the gang through means of nicknaming.

(5:43) -Toni-  
He thought it would be appropriate that we had code names, what with it being a top secret mission and all. And no, he could never pull of being a Serpent.

(5:43) -Cheryl-  
Songbird?

(5:44) -Toni-  
He has the voice of an angel

(5:44) -Cheryl-  
Your creative input then?

(5:45) -Toni-  
Oh, yes. I am the nicknaming master, after all.

(5:45) -Cheryl-  
Ok then. You had an underage boy flirt with your chemistry teacher. How legal is all this?

(5:45) -Toni-  
That's probably the most legal thing we'll do, actually. Since Phillips would be the one convicted. Hey, maybe I could just report him for vile conduct towards students.

(5:45) -Cheryl-  
That would be the mature thing to do.

(5:46) -Toni-  
Naaaaah. They'd just let him off. He's never actually done anything. Anyway, Somgbird was able to flirt his way into the storage cupboard so he could muck around with the experiment we were doing.

(5:46) -Toni-  
I should add that he’s already a favourite of his bc he’s really good at chemistry. And everything else for that matter.

(5:46) -Cheryl-  
Fangs sounds lucky.

(5:47) -Toni-  
Yeah, and you can bet your ass that it's all entirely out of luck.

(5:48) -Cheryl-  
So, what did he do in the cupboard?

(5:49) -Toni-  
Well, it also doubles as his office. He keeps his things in there while he teaches. Including his phone. So Songbird simply texted his number from his phone and wala. Phone number.

(5:49) -Toni-  
Fangs called him over for help as a decoy. It was wonderful to watch. The man just doesn't shut up.

(5:50) -Cheryl-  
Does he not password protect his phone?

(5:50) -Toni-  
Apparently not. What a dickhead. He works in one of the biggest shitholes in Riverdale He needs all the security he can get.

(5:51) -Cheryl-  
So what happens now?

(5:51) -Toni-  
That's for me to know and you to find out, Bombshell. All in due time.

(5:51) -Cheryl-  
You said something about this being the most legal part of the operation...

(5:51) -Toni-  
Don't you worry your pretty little head over it. We've spent an entire weekend going over the details. It'll be fine.

(5:52) -Cheryl-  
Are you sure?

(5:52) -Toni-  
Absolutely. This is the least illegal thing I’ve ever done.

(5:53) -Toni-  
If I were to go to jail, would you write to me every day, though?

(5:54) -Cheryl-  
Every second day. I don't want to look clingy.

(5:55) -Toni-  
Would you send pictures?

(5:56) -Cheryl-  
As long as you promise not to share them with Big Bob the Cell Mate.

(5:56) -Toni-  
I'd keep them tucked under my pillow.

(5:57) -Cheryl-  
Would you kiss them goodnight?

(5:57) -Toni-  
Oh of course, Bombshell. I'm not heartless.

(5:57) -Cheryl-  
That's good to hear. I'll go prepare the folio.

(5:59) -Toni-  
Make them extra saucy.

(6:00) -Cheryl-  
Still not a good enough excuse to use the word 'saucy'.

(6:01) -Toni-  
Touche.

*

Wednesday AM

(10:24) -Cheryl-  
I get out tomorrow.

(10:25) -Betty-  
Hey, that wasn't so bad.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I know. They even think I could go for walks.And plus, my parents are insistent I’m in the care of Thornhill.

(10:25) -Betty-  
Oh, of course they are. But still, excellent!

(10:26) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I knew you would be excited.

(10:27) -Betty-  
So this begs the real, pressing question...

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Yes?

(10:28) -Archie-  
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'LL SEE HER THIS WEEKEND?

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
God, you guys! If I didn't know any better, I would think you wanted to meet up with her

(10:28) -Betty-  
Well, if you're offering I come along I would not protest.

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
Weirdo. 

(10:30) -Archie-  
I’ll also 1000% will come along

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
You’re both insufferable

(10:31) -Betty-  
Why won't you see her this weekend though?

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
I can walk, but I can't run.

(10:33) -Archie-  
Awww you wanna run into her arms!

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
I’m going to knock both of you on your asses

(10:34) -Betty-  
Cheryl stop trying to change the subject.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
I’m just scared how she’ll feel if she sees me... you know... all sick

(10:35) -Betty-  
Yeah, because I’m sure lover girl would see you coughing and go “Oh, no thanks.”

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Thanks nOW IM WORRYING MORE

(10:37) -Betty-  
It was a joke, Cher! Oh my god, you need to relax!

*Archie was removed from groupchat*

(10:37) - Cheryl-  
Umm... why did you do that?

(10:37) -Betty-  
You're being paranoid.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
You're being cryptic. Why did you unadd Archie?

(10:39) -Betty-  
Look, I wasn't going to mention it because Archie suggested not to.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Mention what??

(10:42) -Betty-  
I want to be sure we're on the same page, is all.

(10:45) -Betty-  
Archie told me that you kissed him.

(10:50) -Betty-  
Cheryl? Is it true?

(10:52) -Cheryl-  
Were those the words he used?

(10:52) -Betty-  
What does it matter!

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
It does, ok! Did he tell you context?!

(10:53) -Betty-  
No, I didn't ask for the details of my best friend kissing my boyfriend!

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
He wasn't your boyfriend at the time. And now he’s your ex.

(10:56) -Betty-  
Wow, is that meant to make me feel better!! You’re my cousin! You’re family! Exes and boyfriends alike are OFF LIMITS.

(10:57) -Cheryl-  
No, it means he hasn't told you the whole thing! 

(10:58) -Betty-  
I don't want to know! This is why I didn't mention it, because I knew you would get weird.

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
I'm not being weird! I just want you to know that it's not as weird as you might think it is.

(11:01) -Betty-  
No, it's still pretty weird.

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
That's because you're not letting me explain.

(11:03) -Betty-  
I don't want you to explain it. It's done. It's dead or whatever.

(11:04) -Betty-  
Meet up with Lover Girl. Let it die, Cheryl.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
It is well and truly dead, Betty. I don't like your boyfriend or your ex or whatever he is in that way. He’s my best friend.

(11:06) -Betty-  
That's not what he says, and being honest, I get that feeling too.

(11:06) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, no. Absolutely not.

(11:08) -Betty-  
Whatever you say.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
Betty, come on.

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
Betty.

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
...

(11:33) -Cheryl-  
Fine.

*

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:12) -Toni-  
Phase two has begun. No reaction thus far but I'm a patient girl.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
What's phase two?

(12:16) -Toni-  
I'm glad you asked, Bombshell!

(12:16) -Toni-  
Phase two is when the texting begins.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
I'm not following.

(12:19) -Toni-  
Oh, Bombshell, I trusted your clever wits to work it out.

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Not now. What's phase two?

(12:21) -Toni-  
Well, we possess a phone number. When you had your little altercation with the dickweed smoker, Fangs and Kevin were purchasing a burner phone

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
You're great plan is to text him?

(12:22) -Toni-  
This is only phase two, Bombshell. Have faith.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
Mm.

(12:24) -Toni-  
What's the matter?

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
Don't worry about it. What kind of things are you texting him?

(12:25) -Toni-  
We are trying to gage what his interests may be. Would he like to subscribe to sexting with a foxy young blonde, brunette, or ginger? We really hope it's not the second one or we may need to pull me outta school

(12:27) -Toni-  
If he consents to flirting with one of our serviced beauties, we progress to phase three. But that's for another day.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
This just sounds a little strange so far.

(12:28) -Toni-  
Trust me Cheryl, we have bigger plans.

(12:28) -Toni-  
Now: What's wrong?

(12:30) -Cheryl-  
Betty is angry with me.

(12:31) -Toni-  
Why?

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
She knows about me kissing Archie, but she also doesn't really know about me kissing Archie and will refuse to let me explain it.

(12:33) -Betty-  
Whoahhhh dude, kissing Archie? 

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
Archie told her that I kissed him, but nothing about the whole dare thing. Which is all it was . A stupid game of truth or dare when we were kids camping. Betty fell asleep, and we were just playing a game. She didn't even know it was before they were together, so I can only imagine what Archie led her to believe. He’ll do anything for that girl.

(12:33) -Toni-  
Archie is sounding less and less likeable.

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I know what you mean. They both, apparently, think I like him though.

(12:35) -Toni-  
But you don't?

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
Of course not! Jeez. I thought of all people you would know that.

(12:36) -Toni-  
Just. Just making sure. Clarification and all that.

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
Feeling insecure?

(12:38) -Toni-  
TONI TOPAZ NEVER FEELS INSECURE. UNLESS IT'S A BAD HAIR DAY.

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
How's today looking?

(12:39) -Toni-  
As dashing as ever. I had cheer practice this morning so I put it up in a ponytail (your favourite).

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, yeah, ok.

(12:41) -Toni-  
Don't deny it, I can see right through you.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
Shush now.

(12:43) -Toni-  
You're blushing aren't you?

(12:44) -Cheryl-  
I am going to utilise the power of lying texting presents to me by saying, no absolutely not.

(12:44) -Toni-  
I knew it.

(12:45) -Toni-  
So what are you going to do about Betty?

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
I don't know. I don't know if I should talk to Archie to clear this up. I don't know if I should do it now or see them tomorrow.

(12:46) -Toni-  
Like, in person?

(12:47) -Cheryl-  
Oh, yeah. Um, I'm being released home tomorrow.

(12:47) -Toni-  
Right. Well. Maybe it's a face-to-face conversation?

(12:49) -Cheryl-  
Probably.

(12:50) -Cheryl-  
I'm playing truth or dare or kissing ever again. Too much trouble.

(12:51) -Toni-  
Now don't say that! You'll break my heart.

(12:52) -Cheryl-  
I won't do the two things at the same time again?

(12:52) -Toni-  
Better. Sounds more promising.

(12:54) -Cheryl-  
Promising?

(12:54) -Toni-  
Mhm. Future prospects and all.

(12:55) -Toni-  
You're fucking blushing again, aren't you?

(12:55) -Cheryl-  
It doesn't help when you point it out! You're not even here and you're being terrible. Enough.

(12:57) -Toni-  
How do you think I feel? You all the way over there, glasses and blushing! It's very unfair.

(12:57) -Cheryl-  
You've really fixated on the glasses.

(12:58) -Toni-  
Are we not mentioning your thing for hair dye?

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
No, I said we were stopping this! Stop talking. Right now.

(12:59) -Toni-  
You're lucky I have to go to class.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Go on then, go away. Leave me be.

(12:59) -Toni-  
You wound me.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
You embarrass me.

(1:00) -Toni-  
I'll miss you too, Bombshell.

*

Thursday AM

(9:37) -Betty-  
Where are you

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
Service desk.

(9:38) -Betty-  
We're out the front.

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
We?

(9:38) -Betty-  
Yes Cheryl. We have walking to do.

(9:39) -Cheryl-  
Just walking?

(9:39) -Betty-  
We can talk at the same time.

(9:39) -Cheryl-  
Will you let me talk?

(9:40) -Betty-  
Yes. Don't worry, Archie is in trouble too.

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
About time.

(9:40) -Betty-  
Don't push it, Cheryl

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
Ok.

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
I'm glad you're here, Betty.

(9:42) -Betty-  
Yeah. Me too. Come on then.

*

Thursday MIDDAY

(11:49) -Cheryl-  
So she doesn't hate me.

(11:50) -Toni-  
Hey, there's something. What happened?

(11:51) -Cheryl-  
Turns out Archie did not tell her anything solid. He got the scolding of his life.

(11:51) -Toni-  
Least he deserves. Really, Bombshell, if I ever meet that boy...

(11:53) -Cheryl-  
You'll kill him, I know. Same with my parents

(11:53) -Cheryl-  
He apologised and everything. It was amazing.

(11:54) -Toni-  
Betty sounds like a firm hand.

(11:55) -Cheryl-  
Oh yeah. You have no idea.

(11:55) -Toni-  
Crisis averted?

(11:57) -Cheryl-  
guess you could say that. Tell me about phase two.

(11:58) -Toni-  
Oh it's going great!! We have found out his type and everything.

(11:58) -Cheryl-  
Gross Toni

(11:58) -Toni-  
Look, trust me, the prank gets better. Really.

(11:59) -Cheryl-  
Not brunettes, I hope?

(11:59) -Toni-  
Thank god no. Not even underaged girls or boys, which was also a concern.

(12:00) -Cheryl-  
But what if?

(12:02) -Toni-  
We report him then, like damn. But yeah we have set up a small sexting service for him. Phase three begins tomorrow.

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
Toni... Are you actually texting him things?

(12:04) -Toni-  
Yeah. It's disturbing, to say the least. He likes it when I call him big boy.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god I don't need to know.

(12:05) -Toni-  
Feeling insecure?

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
Feeling grossed out.

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
I could call you big boy if you wanted.

(12:07) -Toni-  
Fuck off.

(12:09) -Cheryl-  
No? Something sweet then? I could go back to pumpkin and sweetheart.

(12:09) -Toni-  
Yeah, when we mentally age to 80.

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
Don't say it like that, dear.

(12:10) -Toni-  
Ok, ok, maybe something more modern. Babe? Baby?

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
No

(12:11) -Toni-  
Bae

(12:11) -Cheryl-  
NO

(12:11) -Toni-  
Ok, cupcake, I'll go with none of those then.

(12:13) -Toni-  
Look, sugar, Bombshell is enough for me.

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
But honey cakes how will people know you're mine?

(12:15) -Toni-  
Plum, you're just gonna have to live with it.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
BUT PEANUT!

(12:15) -Toni-  
No buts, dumpling. Shush now. Bombshell has to eat lunch.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
I'll talk to you later, love.

(12:16) -Toni-  
Bye, love.

*

Thursday PM

(3:22) -Toni-  
It's your turn. I can't do this anymore.

(3:22) -Juggy-  
What happened to: "I'M TONI TOPAZ AND I AM THE MASTER FLIRTER. I CAN FLIRT MY WAY INTO ANYTHING."

(3:23) -Toni-  
I dont doubt my abilities. I am thoroughly weirded out though. I need a break.

(3:23) -Juggy-  
I don't want to do it.

(3:23) -Toni-  
JUG PLEASE. HELP A SISTER OUT.

(3:24) -Juggy-  
No, this was your idea.

(3:24) -Toni-  
Come on, just do it for an hour, tops. Please, dude.

(3:26) -Juggy-  
I expect to be paid for this.

(3:26) -Toni-  
You will. Heavily. And you’re gonna need to recruit a girl from my squad too

(3:26) -Juggy-  
Why a cheerleader?

(3:27) -Toni-  
You'll see why when you start texting him.

(3:27) -Juggy-  
THIS ISN'T A FETISH THING WITH A THREESOME IS IT???

(3:39) -Toni-  
GOD, NO NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

(3:39) -Toni-  
JUST

(3:39) -Toni-  
YOU'LL SEE.

(3:40) -Juggy-  
I'm scared. I demand great compensation.

(3:40) -Toni-  
You'll get it. I swear to you Jug, you'll get your reward.

*

(5:34) --Fangs Fagorty-  
TONI TOPAZ!

(5:35) -Toni-  
Yes, Fangs?

(5:35) -Fangs Fagorty-  
THIS WAS A TRAP!!! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!!

(5:35) -Toni-  
Don't be so dramatic

(5:36) -Toni-  
I mean, I know it's bad, but it's not /that bad/

(5:36) -Fangs Fagorty-  
NO IT IS THAT BAD

(5:36) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I WAS WITH KEVIN

(5:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
LIKE /WITH KEVIN/

(5:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
AND I DIDNT THINK ANYTHING OF IT WHEN JUG TOSSED THE BURNER OFF ON ME. BUT THEN THE FUCKER TEXTS ME

(5:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
“HEY BABE WAT U UP 2"

(5:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
MAKING OUT!!! WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!! WELL NOT ANYMORE!!

(5:38) -Toni-  
I told you all I’d pay compensation!

(5:38) -Fangs Fagorty-  
CAN YOU COMPENSATE FOR ME A NIGHT OF EMBARRASSMENT?? KEV WOULDN'T STOP LAUGHING

(5:39) -Toni-  
That's more your poor choice in men.

(5:39) -Fangs Fagorty-  
YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN

(5:39) -Toni-  
Yeah

(5:40) -Toni-  
Well

(5:40) -Toni-  
Trying to flirt with Cheryl just makes me feel weird now

(5:40) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I know what you mean. I feel tainted.

(5:41) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Soooooooooo

(5:41) -Fangs Fagorty-  
We're admitting you flirt with her now?

(5:41) -Toni-  
Shut up.

(5:42) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You're a little girl with a little girl crush.

(5:42) -Toni-  
Do I need to remind you of all the embarrassing things you said and did before Kevin felt bad for you?

(5:42) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Noooooooope. Because it's irrelevant. You're the 'cool' one, or so you keep saying.

(5:43) -Toni-  
I am the cool one. At least I haven't told her I love her.

(5:43) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I was twelve, it doesn't count.

(5:44) -Toni-  
It so counts

(5:44) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Does not. Does she flirt back?

(5:46) -Toni-  
In her own way, I think she does. Mostly she just tells me to shut up.

(5:46) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You two are adorable.

(5:47) -Toni-  
I will set you on fire.

(5:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Come get your dirty phone. I don't want it near me anymore.

(5:47) -Toni-  
Fine.

(5:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
BRING MARSHMALLOWS.

(5:48) -Toni-  
Where am I going to get marshmallows???

(5:48) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Sweetpeas trailer. Third cupboard in the kitchen.

(5:48) -Toni-  
You want me to break into his trailer?

(5:49) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Hardly breaking in if he leaves the key under the step. And you said compensation.

(5:49) -Toni-  
Fine, asshole. Be there in 10.

*

[Calling Bombshell]

"Erhh?"

"Babe!"

"Toni, what the fuck- it's midnight, what the hell?"

"Phillips won't stop texting me. The guy doesn't sleep, Bombshell."

"Apparently neither do I."

"I'm reaching a breaking point. I don't think my imagination can keep up with him."

"I really don't want to know."

"No, but I need your help!"

"I am not helping you get off some middle aged creep."

"What if I paid you?"

"Stop whoring me out!"

"It worked on Jugs and Fangs."

"Well, they’re easy then, aren’t they?”

"You play hard to get. I see how it is."

"I'm playing dead. I am sleeping."

"Noooo, Bombshell, come on. Just a few more minutes. If I'm alone with this guy I think I might jump out the window."

"What do you think, Sheba, do we let Toni jump out of the window? ... They say yes."

"Lies. They’re with me and I heard them distinctly say, 'No, Bombshell, why on Earth would you suggest such a thing?' Sheba isn't a monster."

"...Sheba says you're a dick."

"Stop turning Sheba against me!"

"Sheba prefers me and you know it."

"We should have never divorced. It's ruined Sheba."

"They're happy you've moved out. They couldn't take the drunkenness anymore."

"I'll see you in court, Cheryl. I will get Sheba back."

"Over my dead body."

"Oh no."

"What?"

"He wants a picture."

"Tell him that breaches the terms of agreement."

"You're a genius."

"I know. Hey, Toni?"

"Mm?"

"How... How come you've never asked me for a picture?"

"I'm not really going to jail, Cher, I don't need pin-up shots for lonely nights."

"You know what I mean. Surely you're... curious, or whatever."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Then how come you haven't asked me for pictures?"

"I'm curious not... scared. Or anything."

"Scared of... me being weird looking?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's not a concern of mine. No one can fake confidence like that without knowing their hot."

"And you think it would be a concern of mine?"

"Yes."

"How could you possibly think that!?"

"Oh, no, not like - I'm not scared you think I'm weird looking because you're a snob but - but, I don't know, because I think I'm weird looking, so."

"I wouldn't care even if you looked like Simon Cowell."

"That's... is that meant to be reassuring?"

"The guy looks like a foot, and his personality isn't much better."

"Right. That's a fair observation, actually."

“I know, right?”

"I... I think I know what I am."

"What you are? Human, surely."

"No, no, just - hey, shut up!"

"Hah, I know what you mean, Cheryl! Go on, then."

"Still testing the waters though, just not in the way you've previously suggested."

"Okay.”

"And it's just... so far this is what I've figured out."

"You don't have to retain the title forever, Cheryl. You can come and go as you please."

"Alright. That makes me feel better."

"Ok then."

"Ok."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Yes."

"You've not said it aloud yet, have you?"

"No, I haven't. What if it turns out I have been mispronouncing it wrong all along and - not only may I be misidentifying myself, but I also can't even say the word."

"If you don't want to say, then you don't have to, Cheryl."

"I want to say it. It's important in reassuring you."

"Reassuring me? This is about you, you don't-"

"Pansexual. I think. So far."

"I... elaborate."

"I like the person. Personality and all that. Not the gender or sex or looks. It's what's on the inside that counts, and all that."

“So as long as the person is awesome, personality wise, the rest is just unimportant?"

"It's unimportant to how I feel about the person, yeah. So you could be a girl, boy, both, neither, sometimes one and sometimes the other, you know. There are so many genders, Toni. Did you know there were so many genders? It's awesome."

"Cheryl."

"Right, right. The point is, I like you, Toni."

"Oh."

"Haha, yeah. Oh."

“I mean, like oh. Wow. That’s... it’s really great.”

“You’re rambling”

“Yes, yes I am. And I like you too, Bombshell.”

“So, as long as I look like Simon Cowell but don’t act like Simon Cowell, that's all good for you?"

"Uh huh. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate how hot you actually are, though."

"Oh my god."

"Really, I just hit a jackpot."

"Stop, you're being embarrassing again!"

"One day you'll flirt back."

"You should be flirting with Phillips."

"I think he fell asleep."

"I wonder what that's like."

"Fine, fine, I'll shut up."

"Oh, I like it when you talk Toni, just not at... one in the morning."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"You say that, but I doubt you will do it."

"No, you're right."

"There's no point lying to me Toni Topaz, I can see right through it."

"Wow, we sound married."

"At least we acknowledge it. Good night, sweet cakes."

"That's my bit."

"Hang up the phone."

"Sleep tight, love."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Friday AM

(10:23) -Toni-  
Phase three has been launched.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
I can't read right now, some bitch woke me up at an ungodly hour and so now I am dead.

(10:25) -Toni-  
And you say I'm the drama queen!

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
If I were being you right now it would be more like

(10:26) -Cheryl-  
OH MY SWEETEST BOMBSHELL I WOULD LOVE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW BUT ALAS, I HAVE BEEN RENDERED LAME, AS MY BRAIN HAS TURNED TO ASH AND BILE FROM FATIGUE AS SOME NITWIT DECIDED TO CALL ME AT THE CRACK OF SATAN'S ASS.

(10:27)-Toni-  
I showed this to Fangs and he says this is accurate.

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
You're so predictable. What's phase three, then?

(10:29) -Toni-  
Phase three is using the three other burner phones Keller and Fangs bought to text him about different services.

(10:29) -Toni-  
Like... spam emails for sexting services. Soon he'll become annoyed and I imagine he'll try to unsubscribe.

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
What happens when he tries to unsubscribe?

(10:31) -Toni-  
That's phase four, Bombshell, don't get ahead of yourself.

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
Very well.

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
What if he goes along with it? Like, all of the four sexters.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
Surely a man his age doesn't have that much stamina.

(10:35) -Toni-  
That's what I'm banking on. If I have to keep going on with this, I might as well start charging him and create a business from this.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
I hesitate to ask but... are you any good?

(10:37) -Toni-  
Do you want to find out first hand?

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
No thank you, I think it might just breach my comfort zone right now.

(10:39) -Toni-  
If you say so. I must be, I guess. I mean, he keeps replying. Boy, does he keep replying.

(10:41) -Cheryl-  
I'll let you two be alone, then. I have Wii Fitness I must attend to.

(10:41) -Toni-  
I told you, I don't want to hear about it unless it's yoga.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Then stop talking.

(10:42) -Toni-  
Cya.

*

Friday PM

(6:42) -Toni-  
I want to ask a question.

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
Ok.

(6:50) -Cheryl-  
That means ask the question, Toni

(6:52) -Toni-  
I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to ask.

(6:52) -Cheryl-  
What's the basis of the question and I'll figure it out.

(6:54) -Toni-  
I know what illness you have.

(6:54) -Cheryl-  
Ah.

(6:54) -Toni-  
When are we meeting?

(6:56) -Toni-  
I still want to. Obviously.

(6:56) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, me too, me too.

(6:57) -Cheryl-  
Um. I don't know. I don't think I physically can this weekend.

(6:57) -Toni-  
And I have school during the week.

(6:58) -Cheryl-  
So maybe next weekend?

(6:58) -Cheryl-  
If it's not, um, too short notice.

(6:58) -Toni-  
No it should be fine. It is fine.

(6:59) -Toni-  
On Saturday? I have a game on Sunday.

(6:59) -Cheryl-  
Yeah that's good. I guess we'll go into details closer to the day?

(7:00) -Toni-  
Yeah that's a good idea.

(7:02) -Cheryl-  
Cool. Ok.

(7:03) -Toni-  
Ok. Wow. I just wanted to make sure it was still an ok thing to do.

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, yes of course.

(7:04) -Toni-  
Alright.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
Alright. I'll talk to you later.

(7:06) -Toni-  
Yeah, cya Bombshell.

*

Saturday PM

(6:51) -Cheryl-  
I'm watching Jurassic Park.

(6:53) -Toni-  
What... for the first time?

(6:53) -Cheryl-  
Since I was a kid, yeah.

(6:53) -CheryL-  
Stupid premise for a movie.

(6:54) -Toni-  
Dinosaurs aren't stupid, Cheryl! How dare you.

(6:54) -Cheryl-  
Who would logically think that genetically recreating dinosaurs would be a good idea? And then marooning them on an island? I just don't understand.

(6:56) -Toni-  
But think of the adventure!

(6:56) -Cheryl-  
I don't need to, it's playing right out in front of me. People die.

(6:58) -Toni-  
You must be a blast at the movies

(6:58) -Cheryl-  
Don't worry, havent ever gone

(6:58) -Toni-  
What? Ever?!

(6:59) -Cheryl-  
Nope. The whole sickness thing kinda takes away from the normal teenage life.

(7:01) -Toni-  
Well... I’ll take you then. We'll buy a big bucket of popcorn, too.

(7:02) -Toni-  
Is this how you usually spend your Saturday nights?

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
Watching terrible but classic movies? Yes. Pretty much.

(7:03) -Toni-  
Damn Cher, you need to get out.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
And do what? Imagine me at a night club. 

(7:05) -Toni-  
I'm imagining glitter and neon.

(7:06) -Cheryl-  
Well you would be incorrect. I'm obviously more a leather kind of homo.

(7:06) -Toni-  
Oh, yeah. Of course

(7:07) -Cheryl-  
And do pray tell what you're doing on a Saturday night?

(7:08) -Toni-  
It's some Southside kids birthday, so we're at a bonfire thing in the forest

(7:08) -Cheryl-  
Don't those usually occur at the beach?

(7:10) -Toni-  
Yeah, but we're no where near a beach. So the forest had to do.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
So you're at a bonfire but you still text me about Jurassic Park?

(7:12) -Toni-  
Jurassic Park is cool, Bombshell.

(7:13) -Cheryl-  
More interesting than a bonfire party, huh?

(7:13) -Toni-  
Yep. There are only so many marshmallows you can toast and beers you can chug before it becomes tedious.

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
How long until a person is thrown into the fire?

(7:16) -Toni-  
Oo, good point. I don't suspect long. Most of them are completely blitzed

(7:17) -Toni-  
Oh, and your worst nightmare Bombshell. Someone has suggested truth or dare.

(7:17) -Cheryl-  
You're not drinking are you?

(7:18) -Toni-  
I'm not drunk.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Lucky. Don't want any mishaps.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Have there been any mishaps? Since Phillips read out the messages.

(7:19) -Toni-  
Oh. Ah, yeah, I've been disowned.

(7:19) -Cheryl-  
WHAT

(7:19) -Toni-  
It's no big deal. Long overdue, really.

(7:20) -Cheryl-  
No, Toni, what happened?

(7:20) -Toni-  
Oh it was very formal. My brother came by and sold a good punch to the jaw with a pair of brass knuckles

(7:20) -Toni-  
I really don't care, Bombshell. I'm glad it's over with.

(7:21) -Cheryl-  
He punched you?! What the fuck?

(7:21) -Toni-  
May seem random but it’s sort of how we deal with shit. In my family and on the Southside. Words are too easy.

(7:23) -Cheryl-  
And what about everyone else? The Serpents and stuff

(7:25) -Toni-  
The Serpents dont care. We’re a family. And the kids at school are dicks, but it's not like they're worse. They just use different words now.

(7:26) -Toni-  
And you know my grandpa already supports me

(7:27) -Cheryl-  
Oh that's good. That's great. The grandpa part.

(7:27) -Toni-  
Yeah, he’s an amazing guy

(7:29) -Toni-  
HOLY SHIT TRUTH OR DARE HAS TAKEN A TURN

(7:29) -Toni-  
SOME GIRL CLIMBED UP ON SWEETS 

(7:29) -Toni-  
MY LITTLE BOY IS ALL GROWN UP

(7:30) -Cheryl-  
Congrats to Sweetpea

(7:30) -Toni-  
I think he's shaking oh my god.

(7:30) -Toni-  
Ok I have to go rescue Sweets before he combusts in front of all these people.

(7:31) -Cheryl-  
I just got up to the interesting part of Jurassic Park, so, I'm fine on this end.

(7:32) -Toni-  
Good good. I'll talk to you later, Cher

(7:32) -Cheryl-  
Have fun Toni

*

Sunday AM

(9:25) -Cheryl-  
How's Sweetpea?

(9:25) -Toni-  
Catatonic. He got her phone number.

(9:27) -Cheryl-  
Wow, Sweetpea

(9:27) -Toni-  
He's a ladies' man, to say the least.

(9:27) -Toni-  
And how did Jurassic Park go?

(9:29) -Cheryl-  
Dinosaurs won, humans lost. Lone white male survived. The usual.

(9:29) -Toni-  
I see, I see.

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
It's a Saturday morning and you're not hung over?

(9:31) -Toni-  
I have a game today, not that it's deterred me in the past. But. I don't know. Wasn't feeling it.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Are you ok?

(9:32) -Toni-  
Oh, yeah. Bombshell. I'm not broken just bc I didn't get smashed.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Just making sure!

(9:34) -Toni-  
Worry wart. Josie is making us cram in extra training so I gotta get going.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
Josie sounds like a worry wart.

(9:35) -Toni-  
She fucking is, she needs to calm down. I'll tell ya how the game goes.

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
Good luck.

*

Sunday PM

(2:45) -Unknown Number-  
This is Cheryl, right?

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Uh, yeah?

(2:46) -Fangs-  
Uh, hi. It's Fangs.

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Hi.

(2:47) -Cheryl-  
You should say something else because now I'm just getting worried.

(2:47) -Fangs-  
Oh, it's nothing terrible.

(2:47) -Fangs-  
I mean, ok, it's a broken arm

(2:47) -Fangs-  
But she's not dying.

(2:48) -Cheryl-  
I was under the impression you weren't meant to do anything extreme during cheerleading

(2:48) -Fangs-  
Hah, you're not. It just goes to show how much of a dickhead she is.

(2:49) -Fangs-  
I thought I'd message you to let you know. Shes going to be out of it for a while, and when she comes to idk if she'll be able to message with one arm.

(2:50) -Cheryl-  
Thank you. I appreciate it.

(2:50) -Fangs-  
No problem. Um, I'll see you around.

(2:51)-Cheryl-  
Haha, yeah. Probably.

(2:51) -Fangs-  
Ok bye

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Bye.

*

[Calling Bombshell]

"You're alive."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Fangs messaged me."

"Asshole. I bet he told you lies and slander."

"He told me hardly a thing, actually."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Hospital stays. It's terrible in here."

"You get used to it. It's like a second home for me by now."

"Oh. That's."

"Depressing?"

"It's weird in here."

"Then talk to me. What happened?"

"I got into a fight with a kid from the other team and landed on my elbow.”

"Yikes, Toni. Fighting?."

"I know. It made a crunch and everything. I banged my head a little, too. And he deserved it, trust me.”

"How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy, but I can't sleep. I don't actually know what time it is, though."

"It's just past nine."

"Ok."

"You sound tired."

"They put me under the anathesiatrics. Anathesis. Anathesiologist. Anna sneezed an ologist. I don't know words."

"Nice try, though. Why'd they put you to sleep?"

"I have metal rods in my arm. I'm on my way to being a cyborg."

"Is anyone there with you?"

"Jugs'dad is here. He’s asleep in the chair, though, so I don't want to wake him. He’s the serpent king so when shit goes wrong he’s basically all of our parents.”

"Serpent king. Interesting name. Are you only there for the night?"

"Yeah. Yeah, just because it was so late when I woke up I guess."

"I have to ask the important question."

"And what's that?"

"Did you at least win the fight?"

"Haha, oh god, I don't even know. I don't know."

"We'll find out tomorrow then."

"Yeah. I think I'm gonna try to sleep."

"Ok. That's a good idea. I'll go to bed too."

"Can you-"

"...Yes?"

"Never mind."

"No, go on."

"Just. Um. Can you stay on the line? Until either of us falls asleep first. God that's embarrassing."

"Of course."

"I don't like it here, Bombshell. Reminds me of my parents."

"I know, Cheryl. Just close your eyes."

"Ok. They're closed."

"Now stop talking."

"Ok. Stopping talking. Now."

"Good night, love."

"'Night, love."

[Call Disconnected]

[Time Duration: 3h25m34s]


	7. Circles, Runnin’ ‘Round in Circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re meeting!

Monday AM

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
How are you?

(10:46) -Toni-  
sore. hungry.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Are they not feeding you?

(10:48) -Toni-  
they have. shit this is hard.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
What?

(10:50) -Toni-  
1 hand texting

[Calling Toni]

“This is easier, then.”

“Much easier, thanks.”

“No problem. What are you going to do about Operation Salt?”

“I’m gonna have to force Jughead into it, make him take over the phone instead of just tossing it at someone else. Also bribe Fangs. Maybe become Kevin’s slave for a while.”

“If you want I… you could send me a phone, you know.”

“You really want to get involved in this?”

“Not really, but I’m taking pity on you.”

“Pity? What could be pitiful about me.”

“I don’t need to see you to know you’re pouting.”

“I’m not pitiful.”

“You sound like a child.”

“Ok, fine. My hair is a mess. I’m not pleased about it.”

“Baby.”

“If you really wanna take over a phone… I mean, it’s your choice.”

“It should be interesting.”

“It’s distressing, Cher.”

“Anything to appease the pouting baby girl.”

“Haha, fine, ok. Thanks, Bombshell.”

“No problem. Are you still in the hospital?”

“Yeah, I go back to school at lunch. I don’t even have to go to class.”

“There’s always a bonus.”

“Yeah, but my right arm is the shit arm. I can’t even write things. I can’t doodle.”

“You can’t what?”

“Doodle. Oh my god, draw. I can’t draw.”

“Don’t get exasperated with me. You said doodle.”

“You’re meant to be the mature one.”

“Am I? What a shame.”

“OH! I forgot to mention: the fabled Ky is attending to me.”

“No, really?”

“Uh huh. Wow, dude, we might be next door neighbours and we don’t even know it yet.”

“I will have to send you an address to mail that phone.”

“I promise I won’t make any surprise appearances. I’ll just watch you from the backyard.”

“Just be subtle about it. Are you all good for Saturday, or…?”

“Oh. Uh. I should be fine, I mean, it’s not like both of my legs are broken.”

“Ok. Just making sure.”

“Yeah, well I’m all good on this end. Ok, Mrs K is back. I’ll talk to you later, Cher.”

“I’ll text you my address. Have a good sick day.”

[Call Disconnected]

*

Monday MIDDAY

(12:11) -Cheryl-  
Betty 

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
Betty

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
BETTY

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
bEtTy

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
BETTY

(12:15) -Betty-  
Jeez, Cheryl, calm down.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
You wouldn’t answer.

(12:16) -Betty-  
It was four minutes!! What’s got you in a tangle?

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
We’re meeting this Saturday.

(12:17) -Betty-  
OH MY GOD

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
YES DO YOU SEE WHY I’M FREAKING OUT NOW

(12:18) -Betty-  
THIS IS GREAT NEWS. Let the record show I still don’t agree with her being a Serpent or the Serpents in general but I’m going to be supportive anyway.

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
yes, I know. We talked it out. Apparently the Blossoms were and still are complete assholes when it comes to the Southside. Apparently General Pickens slaughtered a whole bunch of the Southsiders and that’s why the Serpents were formed. For a unity against the Northsiders. So really, it’s my family line that are the bad guys. But anyWAY IT’S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN

(12:19) -Betty-  
Damn... I retract my statements but still, they do stupid reckless and harmful things. BUT YAY 

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
THIS IS TERRIBLE

(12:19) -Betty-  
DON'T TELL ME YOU’VE GOT COLD FEET

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
I HAVE COLD FEET I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS

(12:20) -Betty-  
Cheryl you can do this!! It’ll be great!!

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god what if I embarrass myself.

(12:22) -Betty-  
You won’t embarrass yourself.

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
Are you sure? I’m not the most graceful person.

(12:24) -Betty-  
Would she think any less of you if you fell face first into the ground? If the answer is yes, she’s not worth it.

(12:24) -Cheryl-  
That is true. I mean. She did break her fucking arm yesterday.

(12:24) -Betty-  
Well there you go. Her legs suck just as much as yours.

*Archie has been added to the chat*

(12:25) -Betty-  
ARCHIE ITS HAPPENING THEYRE FINALLY MEETING

(12:25) - Archie-  
OH MY GOD YESSSS, ALSO JUST READ THE PREVIOUS TEXTS ANd

(12:25) -Archie-  
maybe it could be like in the movies where you both fall into each other’s arms. Literally.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
She would drop me.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
And stop writing fanfiction about us!!

(12:26) -Archie-  
What are you guys gonna do?

(12:26) -Cheryl-  
Don’t know yet. Waiting closer to the day to decide.

(12:28) -Archie-  
The Day.

(12:28) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, that’s pretty much how I’m thinking about it too. The Day.

(12:29) -Archie-  
It’ll be great. You’ll finally have her there.

(12:29) -Betty-  
Yeah. She won’t be just a distant concept anymore.

(12:29) -Betty-  
I’m happy for you, Cheryl.

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
Thanks Betty,

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
I think I’m happy too.

(12:31) -Archie-  
*brings Cheryl and Betty into virtual group hug while crying and dancing to Million Words by the Vamps*

(12:31) - Betty-  
Loser. 

*

(2:14) -Toni-  
Jst wat did u tel ur dad???

(2:14) -Juggy-  
I’m sorry, can I get that in English?

(2:15) -Toni-  
dnt b a dik

(2:16) -Juggy-  
Ok, Lefty, settle. What are you referring to?

(2:17) -Toni-  
she jst gave me the talk

(2:17) -Juggy-  
Like… ‘The Talk’?

(2:19) -Toni-  
Yep. Stuff bout emotions nd all

(2:20) -Juggy-  
HAHAHAHA

(2:20) -Toni-  
Jughead!

(2:21) -Juggy-  
THIS IS AMAZING

(2:21) -Toni-  
its not its embrrssing

(2:22) -Fangs-  
Don’t worry, I got the same when I told him I was dating Kevin.

(2:23) -Toni-  
cept im not rlly dating Cheryl

(2:23) -Toni-  
he knw her name man wth???

(2:25) -Juggy-  
Look, Malachai was being a dick and you said you were okay but I knew you weren’t (and don’t even deny it) so I might have told my dad about it and I had to give him background information.

(2:26) -Fangs-  
/might have/

(2:26) -Juggy-  
Ok, DID. Better?

(2:28) -Toni-  
no. He told me I had 2 b sure I was ready b4 doin ‘’’things’’’

(2:28) -Fangs-  
Trust me, dude, I got the exact same speech.

(2:29) -Toni-  
did he give u pamphlets on anal??

(2:29) -Sweets-  
WHAT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I WOKEN UP TOO 

(2:30) -Toni-  
yeah he also wnts Bombshell ovr 4 dinner on the Southside

(2:30) -Juggy-  
Guess you should meet her before she meets the parents, though.

(2:31) -Toni-  
oh. um. saturday we r meeting

(2:31) -Sweets-  
WHAT WHEN WAS THIS DECIDED???

(2:32) -Toni-  
few days ago.

(2:32) -Sweets-  
AND YOU ONLY MENTION IT NOW

(2:33) -Toni-  
thinking bout it 4 too long makes me scared

(2:33) -Juggy-  
This again. What are you scared of?

(2:35) -Toni-  
Cheryl. Cheryl scares me.

(2:35) -Juggy-  
What, you think she’s going to beat you up?

(2:37) -Toni-  
no. dumbass.

(2:37) -Toni-  
just. her. meeting her nd being near her.

(2:38) -Fangs-  
You can do it. Getting there initially will be the hardest part. But then after that you’ll be all good.

(2:38) -Toni-  
Thanks ghys 

(2:39) -Juggy-  
No problem. Now stop messaging. Your text talk is giving me a headache.

(2:39) -Sweets-  
Lol Toni is a softieeee

(2:40) -Toni-  
I’ll deck you. 

*

[Calling Cheryl]

[Call Disconnected]

(5:22) Hang on.

[Calling Toni]

“Sorry, I was having dinner.”

“Oh, shit, sorry I didn’t even think.”

“It’s ok. Means I don’t have to do the dishes now.”

“Well I’m glad I could assist you in that.”

“What’s up?”

“I’ve sent the letter.”

“Letter?”

“Phone, shit I meant phone.”

“Letter.”

“Yes, ok, I may have handwritten a letter. Badly, might I add.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t doodle?”

“I can’t, so, pre-warning, I don’t actually have the hand writing of a three year old.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, though.”

“Oh, no, Bombshell. I could write in cursive before I could walk.”

“Those are some strange priorities.”

“Yeah, the Serpents are full of strange priorities.”

“My family is insisting we play chess. Dad’s home tonight. For the first time ever.”

“I’ll let you get to it, then.”

“Ok. I’ll tell you how long it takes me to play an inappropriate word.”

“Oh, you’re one of those people.”

“Yes I am. Proudly. Ok – ok, I’ll see ya later.”

“Bye-a, Bombshell.”

[Call Disconnected]

*

(6:02) -Cheryl-  
Third turn. ‘Fingering.’ 75 points.

(6:02) -Toni-  
omg.

(6:03) -Cheryl-  
Mum hit me with the tile bag and sent me to my room lol

(6:03) -Toni-  
ur a badass Cheryl Blossom

(6:04) -Cheryl-  
You must be influencing me, Toni Topaz.

*

Tuesday AM

(9:34) -Juggy-  
I can feel the life slowly drain from me.

(9:34) -Toni-  
I promise there will be GREAT compensation

(9:36) -Juggy-  
There better be heavy compensations, Topaz.

(9:36) -Toni-  
I’ll give you my cheerleader yearbook pictures 

(9:37) -Juggy-  
That’s weird. I don’t want them and I don’t want to know why you’re giving them away.

(9:37) -Toni-  
I’ll give you Fangs’ ‘Football Team of the Year’ trophy

(9:38) -Juggy-  
I want you to provide the booze this week.

(9:38) -Toni-  
Fine, I guess that works

(9:39) -Juggy-  
I see your texting is back to normal, though.

(9:39) -Toni-  
We’ll, I have predictive text on.

(9:39) -Toni-  
*We’ll

(9:40) -Toni-  
*Well. I hate this taking

(9:40) -Toni-  
Oh my god I hate this thing

(9:41) -Juggy-  
This is painful to read. Almost as painful as texting Phillips.

(9:41) -Toni-  
How dare you.

(9:42) -Juggy-  
I was given immunity from this prank. How did I end up here?

(9:42) -Toni-  
Extreme circumstances my friend

(9:43) -Juggy-  
I get to reuse my immunity.

(9:43) -Toni-  
Fine. Traitor.

(9:44) -Juggy-  
Don’t cry, Winter Soldier.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Get to work, Jones. You have a middle aged man to sext.

(9:45) -Juggy-  
Dickhead

*

Tuesday PM

(2:21) -Toni-  
So we’re still good for Saturday?

(2:23) -Cheryl-  
Uh huh. Any ideas on what we’re going to do?

(2:23) -Toni-  
Uh, idk. Ajar do you wanna do?

(2:23) -Toni-  
*What

(2:23) -Cheryl-  
I don’t know. Anything.

(2:25) -Toni-  
We’ll come back to this point, then.

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Ok.

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
We’re not very good at this.

(2:27) -Toni-  
Hah, just as long as our friends don’t know that.

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
That’s true, although given the chance, I think Archie might set it up himself.

(2:29) -Toni-  
I think Fangs would do it just to shut me up.

(2:29) -Cheryl-  
And they’d be so smug about it too.

(2:29) -Toni-  
Ugh, they really would. We sure know how to choose the most obnoxious friends.

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
How is phase three?

(2:30) -Toni-  
Reports from Jug and Fangs show that he isn’t slowing down.

(2:32) -Cheryl-  
I’m… a little impressed? I think?

(2:32) -Toni-  
I would be if I wasn’t thoroughly grossed out.

(2:34) -Toni-  
I guess I’ll know soon enough.

(2:34) -Toni-  
Prepare yourself.

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
I am. Mentally. I don’t need happy memories anyway.

(2:35) -Toni-  
So overrated.

*

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
BETTY

(3:46) -Betty-  
What is it now

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
DOES SHE THINK IT’S A DATE?

(3:47) -Betty-  
I don’t know, Cher, I can’t read minds!

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
What if she thinks it’s a date?!

(3:48) -Betty-  
Do you think it’s a date?

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
I don’t know!

(3:49) -Betty-  
Do you want it to be a date?

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
I don't know!

(3:51) -Betty-  
You’re not giving me a lot to work with here!

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
Should I assume it’s a date? If it is a date and I assume it’s not then she get embarrassed but if I assume it’s a date and it’s not I’ll get embarrassed.

(3:52) -Betty-  
This sounds like something you should ask her

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
Yes, Betty, but that would mean actually asking her!

(3:54) -Betty-  
Go with your instinct. Have either of you acknowledged it’s… date potential?

(3:54)-Cheryl-  
...No. Just. Meeting up.

(3:55) -Betty-  
Then you’re just meeting up.

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
But when you do online dating and then you meet up with them it’s under the premise of a date.

(3:57) -Betty-  
But you’re not /really/ online dating.

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
It’s fucking close though.

(3:59) -Betty-  
Again, this is something you should talk to her about.

(4:00) -Archie-  
ITS SO A DATE!!!

(4:00) -Cheryl-  
Fuck I didn’t realize this was the groupchat. Hi Arch. And thats not helpful, Betty

(4:01) -Archie-  
I’m gonna try not to be offended that you weren’t gonna talk to me about this. 

(4:04) -Betty-  
Shut it, Arch. Look, date or not, I’ll help pick out your outfit and everything.

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
There’s not much to work with.

(4:05) -Betty-  
Then what are you doing on Thursday?

(4:06) -Cheryl-  
Nothing. Ever.

(4:07) -Archie-  
Then we’re going shopping! Bestie hangout!!!

(4:08) -Cheryl-  
I almost immediately regret this decision.

(4:08) -Betty-  
Shush. It’s happening whether you like it or not.

(4:09) -Cheryl-  
Yes mom and dad 

*

(7:13) -Toni-  
Hey Babe can I ask you something?

(7:14) -Cheryl-  
Babe?

(7:16) -Toni-  
What the frickdeeks

(7:16) -Cheryl-  
Toni, are you ok?

(7:16) -Toni-  
No, Babe, I don’t know what’s happening

(7:17) -Toni-  
SHUCKS WHAT THE FRILLING H.E. DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS IS GOING ON

(7:17) -Cheryl-  
Are you possessed?

(7:18) -Toni-  
I bet it was That Gorgeous And Irresistible Man Fangs F.

(7:19) -Toni-  
That Gorgeous And Irresistible Man Fangs Fogarty

(7:20) -Toni-  
FLAPJACK CREEPS I MEAN ****FANGS THIS WAS *****FAMGS

(7:20) -Toni-  
He’s fucked up my Anal Cavities

(7:20) -Toni-  
****PREDICTIVE TEXTING

(7:21) -Toni-  
Jiminy Geesh!!

(7:23) -Cheryl-  
I think you should stop talking Toni, or my insides are going to burst from laughter.

(7:24) -Toni-  
BABE YOU’RE ONLY ENCOURAGING HIM

(7:25) -Toni-  
Frilling H.E double toothpicks he short cut ***Bombshell to babe. Said smth abor howl it would be smth id call u 

(7:27) -Cheryl-  
I admire his creativity, and knowledge.

(7:29) -Toni-  
That monkey farmer is going to get his gluteus maximus beaten.

(7:31) -Cheryl-  
There are tears down my face

(7:32) -Toni-  
Cher-dawgs this isn’t helping

(7:32) -Toni-  
OH BLEEDING MARY

[Calling Cheryl]

“Stop fucking laughing!”

“I can’t help it – oh my god!”

“Bombshell!”

“This is the best thing that’s happened to me all day.”

“It didn’t even happen to you!”

“Exactly! It’s at your expense.”

“Wait one second. Take this time to let your laughter flow.”

“As you wish, ma’am.”

“Oh for fucks sake – he put a child lock on it! I can’t delete any of them!”

“Fangs is a master. I’m thoroughly impressed.”

“I need a passcode – ok, hang on… Shit, it’s not Kevin’s birthday.”

“It’s probably something meaningless. You know him too well.”

“I’m going to have to bribe him to tell me the passcode. This is a nightmare.”

“This is the highlight of my evening.”

“Well I’m glad you’re entertained.”

“Aw, are you pouting?”

“Shush. I have a man to kill.”

“Toni?”

“Yeah?”

“What were you going to ask me?”

“What – oh. Never mind, Bombshell. I’ll talk to ya later.”

“Ok. Dispose of the body responsibly.”

“I always do.”

[Call Disconnected]

*

Wednesday AM

Dear Cheryl,

I couldn’t let this opportunity pass without writing to you. Just a different form of media to message you, right? I don't think you’ve seen the crop circles I’ve left for you.

Your phone contact is called May-Sue. You’re blonde, double D, like it up the ass. I will refuse to make an anal joke here.

He’ll usually text at break and lunch, which is 10:30-10:50 and then 12:00-1:00. But you can text him all day. I encourage it, even. Tell me if he tries to unsubscribe.

Oh, and don’t worry if you think you're doing bad because Jughead is pretty shit too. I think he needs a girlfriend.

If it’s ok with you, I’d like to put you in a group chat with Jug, Sweets and Fangs so we can update on where we’re at.

I think that’s all. Look through the past texts if you’re unsure but I think it’ll be fine.

I’m excited to see you on Saturday. Or meet you I guess. I’m guessing we won’t have any problems noticing each other. I mean, I have a broken arm and I’d recognize your face out of a line up. Somehow, i don’t know maybe were soulmates.

I guess I’ll wrap this up now. Have fun on your sexting adventure.

From Toni

*

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
I got your letter.

(10:32) -Toni-  
Oh no

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
It was lovely, soulmate.

(10:34) -Toni-  
Oh shut up. But lovely?

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(10:35) -Toni-  
Oh.

(10:36) -Toni-  
Okay well, I’m glad you liked it.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
It almost makes up for the messages I’m being bombarded with.

(10:39) -Toni-  
Almost?

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Next time write me a poem.

(10:41) -Toni-  
Done.

(10:41) -Cheryl-  
He ‘misses me’ and ‘wishes I were there with him’.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Yeah, he’s clingy like that.

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
And he sends this stuff to all the contacts?

(10:47) -Toni-  
Yeah, pretty much.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
So not only is he a creep, but he’s an unfaithful creep.

(10:49) -Toni-  
Do you feel betrayed?

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
I just can’t believe he’d do something like this to me. I thought we would be together forever.

(10:52) -Toni-  
Love dies, Cheryl.

(10:52) -Cheryl-  
Oh, that’s depressing.

(10:53) -Toni-  
Sorry. How’s your text back ability?

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
Awkward, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

(10:55) -Toni-  
Good good.

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
Oh, and it’s fine, by the way.

(10:55) -Toni-  
Hm?

(10:57) -Cheryl-  
Group chat with your friends

(11:00) -Toni-  
Oh, cool. Alright. We’ll do that tonight, then, try and tire Phillips a little more.

(11:01) -Cheryl-  
God, if I can, sure.

(11:03) -Toni-  
Thanks Bombshell. I appreciate this. 

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
Anything for the war.

*

Wednesday PM

(1:42) -Toni-  
WHAT IF SHE DOESN’T TURN UP?

(1:43) -Fangs-  
Toni.

(1:45) -Toni-  
WHAT IF SHE SEES ME BEFORE I SEE HER AND SHE DECIDES TO LEAVE

(1:45) -Juggy-  
Don’t be an idiot.

(1:47) -Toni-  
WHAT IF SHE THINKS MY HAIR IS STUPID

(1:47) -Sweets-  
Your hair is sick dude

(1:47) -Fangs-  
I feel like you’re projecting your own fears onto actions she might take.

(1:49) -Toni-  
As insightful as that was, Fangs, it’s entirely wrong and you should be ashamed.

(1:50) -Fangs-  
You should be ashamed! Stop trying to chicken out.

(1:52) -Toni-  
I’m not chickening out! I’m just worried it’ll all go to shit and it can’t be like it was.

(1:53) -Sweets-  
So you’re saying you just wanna text this girl for the rest of your life?

(1:55) -Toni-  
We can text our vows to each other, I don’t see why it’s a problem.

(1:56) -Sweets-  
Meeting her will be good for you. You’re always on this groupchat dude. 

(1:59) -Toni-  
Meeting her may potentially ruin me. And you love me, shut up.

(1:59) -Juggy-  
Stop being a big baby and drink some cement.

(2:03) -Toni-  
Wow Jug you really know how to put a girl at ease.

(2:04) -Fangs-  
You’re being irrational. We’ve been over this.

(2:04) -Fangs-  
Look, I’ll come with you if you want.

(2:06)-Toni-  
...Really?

(2:06) -Fangs-  
Yes, of course, Toni.

(2:08) -Toni-  
Just as like... a backup. In case something goes wrong.

(2:09) -Fangs-  
Yes Toni. Jesus you need a beer.

(2:09) -Toni-  
Ok.

(2:10) -Juggy-  
Ok. Now stop sending us freak out messages.

(2:11) -Toni-  
Never.

*

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
I’m going to be in a group message with her friends.

(3:46) -Betty  
Is that a problem?

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
It’s daunting. It would be like her talking to you.

(3:47) -Betty-  
I don’t understand.

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
She’s more or less told me that they are the equivalent of being her family.

(3:49) -Betty-  
You’ll do fine. You have an irresistible charm. Runs in the family ;)

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
Hm must be from your moms side. You’re a liar.

(3:51) -Betty-  
You have a cynical quirkiness?

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
Getting better.

(3:54) -Betty-  
They’ll love you. Just relax.

(3:54) -Cheryl-  
I’m not good with new people.

(3:56) -Betty-  
These are her people. Good people. Even if they are in a gang. Youve done nearly the impossible trying to convince me of that.

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Yeah ok. You’re right.

(3:58) -Betty-  
Always am. Now go blow ‘em away.

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
Wow, weird, don’t do that again.

(3:59) -Betty-  
Go away.

*

(5:23) -Toni-  
You busy?

(5:24) -Cheryl-  
Dinner. Give me half an hour.

(5:25) -Toni-  
Alrighty

*

(5:50) -Toni-  
Ok, gentlemen, listen up.

(5:51) -Toni-  
You are not to, under any circumstances, makes jokes about anything more than us being friends, tell random embarrassing stories, or ask her any questions about me/anything personal. Got this?

(5:52) -Juggy-  
Trying to save your own ass at the last minute, huh?

(5:53) -Toni-  
Making sure you don’t make her severely uncomfortable.

(5:53) -Fangs-  
We’ll be good, Toni. Right, boys?

(5:54) -Juggy-  
Yeah, yeah.

(5:54) - Sweets-  
You know I’ll be eating pizza in my bed so I’ll barely even exist here lol

(5:54) -Toni-  
Okay, cool. I’m adding her now. Really, guys.

(5:55) -Juggy-  
Yes, Topaz, do it!

[Cheryl Was Added to the Conversation]

(5:56)   
Bombshell, this is Jughead, Sweetpea and Prongs who you’ve already met.

(5:56) -Cheryl-  
Uh, hello.

(5:56) -Sweets-  
Hey, man.

(5:56) -Juggy-  
Hey.

(5:57) -Fangs-  
Nice to talk to you again :)

(5:57) -Toni-  
Since Im not longer in active duty for this action of this phase, I will be director and call on each of you to present your findings.

(5:57) -Juggy-  
Typical.

(5:57) -Toni-  
Jughead, don’t make me come over there and kick you in the shins. Tell us your findings first.

(5:58) -Juggy-  
My findings? He’s a kinky bastard and I think I need therapy!

(5:58) -Sweets-  
That’s pretty much what I’ve come to find, too lol.

(5:59) -Fangs-  
Me three

(5:59) -Toni-  
Bombshell?

(5:59) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I don’t know how you four can sit in a classroom with him.

(6:00) -Fangs-  
Trust me, it has become increasingly harder. And side note: Sweets isn’t in class with us. He’s a year older.

(6:00) -Cheryl-  
Good to know.

(6:00) -Toni-  
Any sign of tiring? Boredom? ANYTHING?

(6:00) -Juggy-  
Topaz, I think the plan has backfired.

(6:01) -Fangs-  
He’s really into it, dude

(6:01) -Sweets-  
I’m making dick puns and he’s still enjoying it.

(6:02) -Toni-  
Dick puns?

(6:02) -Sweets-  
It’s really not that hard.

(6:02) -Cheryl-  
Hah.

(6:03)-Fangs-  
Do you have a Plan B, Toni?

(6:03) -Toni-  
I’m thinking. Give me a second.

(6:03) -Sweets-  
This will be a while 

(6:04) -Toni-  
I can still read your messages, Sweets. Weird since you were going to be eating pizza and watching Cops all day :)

(6:04) -Sweets-  
Then you can read about Fangs and Jug telling embarrassing stories. Later, dudez.

(6:04) -Toni-  
I SAID THAT WASNT ALLOWED

(6:05) -Fangs-  
OK OK STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING

(6:05) -Juggy-  
I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING CUT IT OUT

(6:05) -Cheryl-  
Are you all together but still texting each other?

(6:06) -Juggy-  
We gotta talk to you somehow, and Sweets is in his own trailer. Lazy asshole.

(6:06) -Fangs-  
We thought a phone call would get messy.

(6:06) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Ok.

(6:07) -Fangs-  
Toni, any ideas yet?

(6:07) -Toni-  
We need to find a way to make him unsubscribe himself. That’s preferable bc it makes phase four more affective.

(6:08) -Juggy-  
So, we need to make him as uncomfortable as we are?

(6:08) -Fangs-  
Are you suggesting we suggest even more unsavory things?

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
Yes. We need to weird him out so much he wants us to stop messaging him all together.

(6:09) -Toni-  
Bombshell, you’re a genius!

(6:09) -Fangs-  
Except there’s always the risk that… he’d be into it?

(6:09) -Juggy-  
Unless he’s really wrong on the inside, I don’t think he’d be into calling his text babe ‘grandma’.

(6:10) -Cheryl-  
That’s awful.

(6:10) -Juggy-  
Exactly! The weirder the better. Then he’ll be forced to call it quits and I can stop texting the freak

(6:11) -Toni-  
Men, are you up to the challenge?

(6:11) -Fangs-  
I’ve read Sweetpea’s diary, I think I have few things to go on.

(6:11) -Sweets-  
Fuck off! Don’t tell me I have to hide it again.

(6:12) -Fangs-  
“I got my first kiss tonight”

(6:12) -Juggy-  
“She tasted like orange juice and vodka”

(6:12) -Toni-  
“She gave me her phone number but I don’t think she remembers it happening”

(6:13) -Sweets-  
I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH

(6:13) -Juggy-  
SHIT

(6:13) -Fangs-  
HE’S ON A RAMPAGE. LOCK THE WINDOWS BEFORE HE CLIMBS THRU ONE

(6:14) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL CALL THE POLICE

(6:14) -Fangs-  
TELL KEVIN I LOVE HIM

(6:14) -Toni-  
TELL KEVIN /I/ LOVE HIM

(6:15) -Fangs-  
WHAT THE FUCK TONI

(6:15) -TONI-  
NO TIME TO TALK THE BEAST HAS BEEN UNLEASHED

(6:16) -Sweets-  
It’s been a pleasure talking with you Cheryl, and I’m sure Toni would say the same, but I’m afraid she’s a little dead at the moment.

(6:16) -Cheryl-  
That’s a shame, but I suppose it can't be helped.

(6:16) -Sweets-  
I’m sorry to say so. I can resume the role of girlfriend if need be.

(6:17) -Cheryl-  
What?

(6:17) -Toni-  
SWEETS YOU ARE GROUNDED

(6:17) -Sweets-  
LISTEN ‘I, ROBOT,’ I’M GOING TO POUND YOUR FACE IN. ALL OF YOU IDIOTS.

(6:18) -Fangs-  
Ok, they’re actually going at it. I might as well release you.

(6:18) -Cheryl-  
Have fun… cleaning that up.

(6:19) -Fangs-  
Hah, yeah, Jughead’s got Sweets in a headlock and Toni’s got one arm. Not a lot of damage is happening here. 

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
Pleasure talking to you, Fangs. And the other two boys too.

(6:20) -Fangs-  
Yeah, you too Cheryl :) have a good night! 

*

(8:14) -Toni-   
Sweetpea made my nose bleed.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
Reading someone’s diary is very harsh, though. I’m on his side.

(8:16) -Toni-  
Ugh, you would be. Goody goody.

(8:17) -Cheryl-  
Decent human being.

(8:18) -Toni-  
I’m literally bleeding here.

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
Poor baby Toni with her itty bitty dripping nose.

(8:19) -Toni-  
I hate you.

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
You don’t mean it.

(8:21) -Toni-  
Of course not.

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
Um, this might be really stupid but

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
Did they like me?

(8:25) -Toni-  
Did who

(8:25) -Toni-  
OH

(8: 26) -Toni-  
Cheryl, of course. Who wouldn’t.

(8:27) -Cheryl-  
Just… I didn’t say much.

(8:29) -Toni-  
But you came up with the master alternative! Really, Bombshell, stop fretting. They like you.

(8:29) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Just. Hoping I wasn’t embarrassing.

(8:31) -Toni-  
Bombshell, don’t be silly.

(8:32) -Toni-  
If anything, I’m embarrassed. Sorry about Sweetpea. He kinda has anger issues.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
What about Sweetpea?

(8:34) -Toni-  
The… thing he said. Girlfriend thing. idk it was uncalled for. Even though he clearly couldn’t be that cause... he has a dick and everything but you know

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Oh that.

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
It just took me a while to understand what he was, uh, insinuating?

(8:38) -Toni-  
Haha, yeah. Um. So. Sorry about that.

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
It’s fine.

(8:41) -Toni-  
Ok. How’s your creepy texting going?

(8:42) -Cheryl-  
Well, so far. He keeps trying to steer it away from the weird stuff and I won’t relent.

(8:43) -Toni-  
Good to hear. You’re a true soldier, Bombshell. You make an honorary Serpent. And I don’t give those titles out wildly.

(8:44) -Cheryl-  
I’m honoured. How are they doing?

(8:46) -Toni-  
Jughead is the King of Uncomfortable, and he’s giving Fangs a hand. Sweetpea has resigned from the project at the moment. 

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
Cool. It’s all going good then.

(8:49) -Toni-  
Yeah, you could say that.

(8:51) -Cheryl-  
Are we still ok for Saturday?

(8:53) -Toni-  
Yep! Hope you don’t mind arm slings.

(8:54) -Cheryl-  
Do you have a cast?

(8:56) -Toni-  
No. But you can still write on it if you want.

(8:56) -Cheryl-  
I’ll have to think of something clever then, gotta outdo the comedian herself

(8:59) -Toni-  
Just don’t do a Sweetpea and start calling me by robot names.

(8:59) -Cheryl-  
Oh, is that what the ‘I, Robot,’ thing was about?

(9:02) -Toni-  
Yeah. I told him I have metal rods in my arm and now he won’t stop.

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
I like it. I have to get up early tomorrow, so I should go to sleep.

(9:04) -Toni-  
Damn, Bombshell, how early?

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Like, early. Eight in the morning. Betty is going to kill me this way.

(9:08) -Toni-  
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
Thanks. Good night, Wall-E.

(9:10) -Toni-  
Good night, Eve.

*

Thursday AM

(7:45) -Betty-  
Get in loser, we’re going shopping.

(7:47) -Cheryl-  
I’m going to push you in front of a bus.

*

(8:23) -Toni-  
Up bright and early, Moonlight?

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
I am yawning as we speak. Why are you up?

(8:26) -Toni-  
Fangs was snoring again, so I’ve been awake since four. Apparently he couldn’t walk a few feet away to his own bed.

(8:27) -Cheryl-  
Surely you’d just hit him and wake him up?

(8:29) -Toni-  
I have learned through the years that it does nothing. He also hits back in his sleep. He’s a strong guy.

(8:30) -Cheryl-  
You could always try strangulation. I’ve smothered Betty before. I got a huge lecture on it, but it worked.

(8:32) -Toni-  
You attempted to kill another human being for a night's sleep. That's strong motive. Totally.

(8:33) -Cheryl-  
I was six! And tired! If it makes you feel better, I’ve never tried it again.

(8:35) -Toni-  
I hope not. That would be manslaughter.

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
You’re the murderer.

(8:38) -Toni-  
You’ll find out on Saturday, won’t you?

(8:38) -Cheryl-  
So it’s still happening?

(8:40) -Toni-  
Still happening. We should probably figure out what we’re going to do.

(8:41) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Right. I’ll think and get back to you.

(8:42) -Toni-  
I can live with that.

(8:44) -Toni-  
Why are you up so early, anyway?

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
Walking with Betty and Archie and then we are … shopping.

(8:47) -Toni-  
Shopping?

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
For clothes. For me. Send help.

(8:51) -Toni-  
Why in the hell would you submit yourself to that?

(8:52) -Cheryl-  
You can’t tell Betty no, and Archie is too hard to let down when he’s excited. And I guess it’s also greatly needed.

(8:53) -Toni-  
I’m sure there’ll be cardigans?

(8:56) -Cheryl-  
She says hoodies and sweaters I’m afraid.

(8:57) -Toni-  
That will do just as well.

(8:57) -Cheryl-  
Do you have a thing for knitted clothes?

(8:58) -Toni-  
And?

(8:58) -Cheryl-  
Strange, is all.

(8:59) -Toni-  
It’s endearing.

(9:01) -Cheryl-  
Wool is endearing.

(9:03) -Toni-  
Stop questioning it, Bombshell.

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
Sorry, sorry. I’ll leave you and the polyester be.

(9:05) -Toni-  
Feels nice, ok?

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Ok C3PO, I believe you.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Sweets has already used that one.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
Looks like I have competition.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
Ok, Betty says I have to stop texting unless you’re going to provide constructive criticism.

(9:11) -Toni-  
I do have a lot of opinions on knitted tops.

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, too many.

(9:15) -Toni-  
I’ll leave you to it.

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
Please don’t, she wants my opinions on things.

(9:18) -Toni-  
Always pick the second option she gives you. It means the first one was so shit that she had to get something else.

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
You’re a genius.

(9:23) -Toni-  
Oh, you flatter me.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
You’re kinda smart sometimes?

(9:26) -Toni-  
You’re kind’ove a smartass sometimes.

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
Ok I have to physically put things on now.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Do I get to provide opinions on that?

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
Saturday.

(9:30) -Toni-  
Excellent. I look forward to it.

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Yeah.

(9:31) -Toni-  
Me too.

*

(9:45) -Toni-  
Why’s there pink shit everywhere?

(9:45) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Are you being for real here?

(9:45) -Fangs Fagorty-  
It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

(9:47) -Toni-  
Oh. Nobody told me.

(9:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Why else would we decorate the entire school building with hearts? In February?

(9:49) -Toni-  
It’s February?

(9:51) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Are you sure you didn’t break your brain?

(9:54) -Toni-  
We can’t be certain, but there is a strong probability.

(9:54) -Fangs Fagorty-  
If it is broken, I think it’s also safe to say it happened before Sunday.

(9:57) -Toni-  
So I guess you and Kevin will be going out tomorrow or something?

(9:57) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Uh, is that a problem?

(9:59) -Toni-  
No, it just means I have to deal with a drunk, weeping Sweetpea on my own while Jughead sits there and drinks beer.

(10:02) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Just give him some paper and a pen and tell him to write his feelings. Save the page so we can read it later.

(10:05) -Toni-  
I think he would literally kill us this time.

(10:06) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Probably.

(10:07) -Fangs Fagorty-  
So, itis Valentine’s Day tomorrow…

(10:09) -Toni-  
Yes, I have been informed.

(10:10) -Fangs Fagorty-  
And you’re meeting Cheryl the day after…

(10:13) -Toni-  
Spill it, Fogarty, what are you getting at?

(10:14) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Well is it like… a date?

(10:17) -Toni-  
Fangs I didn’t even know it was Valentine’s Day.

(10:17) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Did she, though?

(10:19) -Toni-  
she hasn’t mentioned it.

(10:21) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Maybe she thought she didn’t need to?

(10:23) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(10:24) -Toni-  
Am I going on a date?!

(10:25) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Idk, man, are you??

(10:27) -Toni-  
Idk. Idk idk idk idk

(10:28) -Toni-  
I’ve never been on a date before. Tell me now, Man Who Has Dated, am I going on a date?

(10:29) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I went on a date with a guy I’m actually dating! So I don’t know! And youve gone out before with people.

(10:31) -Fangs Fagorty-  
And if I recall correctly, it was Cheryl that decided what my own actual date would be.

(10:33) -Toni-  
Yeah people not Cheryl. And they were just stupid meaningless flings.   
Ok. OK I THINK IT’S GOING TO BE FINE

(10:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
???

(10:37) -Toni-  
We haven’t decided what we’re going to do yet, but if Bombshell suggests the museum or the beach then I will know if she thinks it’s a date.

(10:37) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Why the museum or the beach?

(10:39) -Toni-  
Irrelevant, I just know things.

(10:41) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok. And if she suggests, like, the movies or something? That’s still pretty date-y.

(10:43) -Toni-  
I think regardless of what we pick, it will sound date-y.

(10:45) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Why don’t you just… nip it in the bud?

(10:46) -Toni-  
And what?

(10:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Just ask her on a date.

(10:49) -Toni-  
We haven’t even met, Fangsy, I think that would be jumping the gun.

(10:51) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Whatever you say.

*

Thursday PM

(2:41) -Cheryl-  
I’ve had to explain to Betty the sexting service and she is completely weirded out.

(2:43) -Toni-  
Why did you have to explain it to her?

(2:44) -Cheryl-  
Second phone. She thought I was involved in some illegal business.

(2:46) -Toni-  
Well, technically, he is messaging under aged minors.

(2:47) -Cheryl-  
Excellent, I’m Lolita now.

(2:49) -Toni-  
How’s it going, anyway?

(2:51) -Cheryl-  
Uh, he’s telling me he’s not interested and I’ve told him if he wants to stop he can unsubscribe, but he insists we just talk about something else.

(2:53) -Cheryl-  
I think I need a new brain after this activity.

(2:56) -Toni-  
Yeah, I owe the boys new brains too. They hate me.

(2:58) -Cheryl-  
I know I asked for this but I can see where they’re coming from.

(2:58) -Cheryl-  
What is this leading to, Toni?

(3:01) -Toni-  
You’ll see. You’ll see.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
Ok then.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
How’s Sheba doing?

(3:04) -Toni-  
Swimmingly.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god.

(3:05) -Toni-  
You set yourself up for it.

(3:06) -Toni-  
They don’t even do anything. So much for company.

(3:07) -Cheryl-  
They do the best they can! You don’t appreciate them enough.

(3:09) -Toni-  
I’ll appreciate them once they start back flipping or talking or something.

(3:11) -Cheryl-  
You have high standards.

(3:12) -Toni-  
Don't worry, you make the cut.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
I'm honoured. 

(3:14) -Toni-  
How was shopping?

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
Excruciating. My feet hurt.

(3:17) -Toni-  
But was the goal achieved?

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
Goal?

(3:19) -Toni-  
No one randomly gets a wardrobe change.

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
Oh. Well. Betty and Archie seem pretty pleased that I will be, uh, presentable on Saturday.

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe I told you.

(3:23) -Toni-  
AW CHERYL

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
Shut up

(3:25) -Toni-  
You could turn up in a garbage bag and I'd be pleased.

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
Usually when someone turns up in a garbage bag, it means they're dead.

(3:28) -Toni-  
Dead or not, your presence is all I need

(3:28) -Cheryl-  
So if I turn up on Saturday and suddenly forget how to hold conversation?

(3:32) -Toni-  
I can just stare at your pretty face the whole time.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
Don't forget my pretty clothes.

(3:35) -Toni-  
And of course your pretty clothes.

(3:35) -Cheryl-  
That's reassuring. Because it may be likely that I won't know what to say when I see you. Just warning.

(3:38) -Toni-  
We don't have to talk

(3:38) -Toni-  
If you know what I mean.

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
Upstairs head, Toni!

(3:41) -Toni-  
Hehehe

(3:42) -Toni-  
Sorry.

(3:42) -Toni-  
Does it make you uncomfortable when I say stuff like that?

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
Not uncomfortable just

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
I never know how to reply unless it's to admonish you.

(3:48) -Toni-  
Surely you've had some practice by now.

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
Oh god no let's not go into that territory

(3:50) -Cheryl-  
I'm not going to repeat to you what I sext a creepy man.

(3:51) -Toni-  
Fine, fine.

(3:52) -Cheryl-  
I'll get there.

(3:54) -Toni-  
No pressure, Bombshell, I'm just messing around

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
I know.

(3:56) -Toni-  
I should get going to my cleaning now.

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
You still have it, even with your broken arm?

(3:57) -Toni-  
Yep. He’s wicked, that Tall Boy.

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
Go sweep him off his feet.

(3:39) -Toni-  
I always do.

*

(10:56) -Cheryl-  
Are you sleeping?

(10:56) -Toni-  
Nope.

[Calling Toni]

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Bored."

"Ok. Hold on."

...

"Alright. I'm in my room. Now I don't have to whisper."

"Ok. How was cleaning the bar?"

"He made me clean the bathroom. One handed. That's like… slave labour."

"Was there whipping?"

"No, but it sounds like the kind of thing he’d be into."

"Loin cloths?"

"No, unfortunately."

"This is all very disappointing."

"I'm so sorry, Bombshell! Next time I'll make my clean up service and torture all the more gruesome for you."

"Just as I hoped. I want there to be a stretching rack."

"Breaking on the wheel?"

"Drawn and quartered."

"Water boarding."

"Iron Maiden."

"Shit, Bombshell, I'm all out."

"That's a weak effort, Toni. I expected more from your knowledge of medieval torture devices."

"Bamboo shoots under the nails?"

"Bold and the Beautiful."

"Those dreams you have where you are naked and on the toilet but everyone can see you and they keep telling you to hurry up while you try to cover your bits but actually it’s not a dream and it’s really happening to you.”

“…What?”

“I was dreaming earlier. It got weird.”

“I think those are the sorts of things you tell your therapist.”

“You don't count?”

“I think I’ve told you before that I’m not a psychologist.”

“No, but you are like my own personal confessional.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. Does that surprise you?”

“Surprises me that you don’t share some of this stuff with Fangs or something.”

“Oh. Nah. I mean, not that he wouldn't get it or he wouldn't be helpful but he’s better at some things more than others.”

“I see. You’re the same for me, in case you were wondering.”

“But you used to see an actual psychologist.”

“There’s only so many times they can say the words ‘cognitive intervention’ before I tune them out.”

“What’s cognitive intervention?”

“Changing the way I think so everything seems a little bit more hopeful.”

“Do you… is that a problem for you?”

“Don’t worry Toni, I’m alright.”

“That’s not really answering the question.”

“Sometimes it’s hard. It’s getting easier though.”

“Well, that’s good.”

“This is really embarrassing, but it’s gotten better since… you.”

“…Oh.”

“Uh, yeah. So. I actually called you because. Um. It’s not a great night.”

“I get that. Like, I understand Cheryl. But, because it’s different for everyone… what can I do?”

“Just talk to me about the most pointless shit you can think of.”

“We have kittens!”

“What?”

“Our school has a family of cats living here and they had kittens. I’ve named them.”

“Of course you have. You have to name everything.”

“Helps build a connection.”

“You literally named me.”

“…Helps build a connection.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Stop laughing at me. Do you want to know the cat names or not?”

“Would they be considered the step siblings of Sheba?”

“Of course. I don’t know how well they would get along though.”

“There’s always tension when new children are introduced.”

“The mother cat is named Patches.”

“Splotchy cat?”

“How’d you guess?”

“Just a hunch.”

“Named after Patches O'Houlihan.”

“From… that Dodge Ball movie?”

“Yep!”

“Incredible. You’re incredible.”

“I’ve named another one Dorkus, Caramel, and Tiny Tim. The other ones don’t come out to play much.”

“Why hasn't your school gotten rid of them? Not that I condone the killing of stray cats or anything…”

“Eh, Southside kids tend to take in strays considering we all are. refuses anyone to touch them. BUT OH AND I NAMED ANOTHER ONE FORSYTHE.”

“You seem really excited about that one.”

“That’s because it’s Jughead’s first name.”

“You named a cat after your best friend?”

“Stop sounding so surprised, Bombshell.”

“I don’t understand how, but you just keep astounding me.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“Might as well.”

“You honour me most profoundly Bombshell – oh, hi Joaquin. Bombshell, say hi to Joaquin.”

“Oh my god – hello, Joaquin.”

“He says hi. He’s taking a piss now – don’t aim at me you freak!”

“I thought you said you were in your bedroom?”

“You don’t have a toilet right next to your bedroom?”

“No, we keep it in a very far separate room so this sort of thing doesn’t happen.”

“Well I can tell you now, it doesn’t happen to me often. Joaquin, don’t you have any kind words to give to Cheryl? …He just asked ‘the fuck is a Cheryl?’ He’s a charming guy, really.”

“He can say all he wants about me.”

“You’re still hung about the stair thing, huh? Hey Joaquin, I told Bombshell about the time you threw me down some stairs and now she’s scared of you.”

“Hey, don’t tell him that!”

“He’s just laughing. Let’s also not tell him his brother is more attractive.”

“I would like Joaquin to know that I have no preference over the brothers.”

“Ok - Bombshell says she’ll have the both of you!”

“Toni Topaz!”

“Ok, ok. Joaquin, you’re dismissed. No no, we’ve had our fun – hey! He splashed water at me.”

“I understand the sentiment.”

“It’s suddenly occurred to me that you may very well cause me real injury when we meet.”

“I do have a lot of pent up annoyance at you.”

“Please be gentle with me.”

“That would defeat the purpose.”

“Can I ask for a safe word?”

“Supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

“Of course.”

“Smartass.”

“Ok, ok, precious. I should probably sleep now.”

“Yeah, ok. Alright.”

“Uh… thank you. For talking. About shit.”

“I was talking about my kittens, Cheryl, how dare you call them shit!”

“I'm sorry, thank you for talking to me about your kittens.”

“You’re most welcome. Tell me, ya know, whenever you need me to talk about my kittens.”

“Ok. Thanks, TT. Good night.”

“’TT, huh?

“Oh god... it’s just easier then saying your name every time and you need a nickname beside your last name...”

“I like it, Blossom.”

“Ok, cool..

“Good night, Bombshell. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Talk to you tomorrow.”

[Call Disconnected]

*

Friday AM

(9:23) -Toni-  
When the Moony

(9:24) -Toni-  
Hits your eye

(9:24) -Toni-  
Like a big

(9:24) -Toni-  
Pizza pie

(9:25) -Toni-  
That's a moreeeeeeee

(9:25) -Cheryl-  
What?

(9:27) -Toni  
I'm serenading you.

(9:29) -Cheryl-  
Are you? Really? Is that what's really happening here? 

(9:31) -Toni-  
Do you mean to say that you are not, in fact, swooning?

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
There was no dance number.

(9:34) -Toni-  
I have a broken arm, Moony! This is all I can give.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
Needs work then. Also, Moony?

(9:36) -Toni-  
Fine. I'll try harder next time.

(9:36) - Toni-  
And yep. Another nickname for you. Moony, Moonlight, Moonbeam. Why do you think I named you 🌙💣🐚? You’re mysterious, and quiet, and beautiful. And you light up all the darkness. Like the moon. 

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
Oh... um... wow

(9:37) -Toni-  
Too much?

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
No.. just... very sweet.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Good. You'll see, Moony. I'll have you fawning all over me by the end of the day.

*

(10:02) -Toni-  
GOT ME LOOKIN SO CRAAAAZY RIGHT NOW

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Oh no

(10:05) -Toni-  
YOUR LOVES GOT ME LOOKIN SO CRAAAZY RIGHT NOW

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
Stop!

(10:06) -Toni-  
LOOKIN SO CRAZY IN LOVE GOT ME LOOKN GOT ME LOOKIN SO CRAZY IN LOOOOOVE!

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Why are you doing this to me?

(10:08) -Toni-  
Everyone loves Beyonce, Moony, and don't lie and tell me you don't.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
I don't like Beyonce.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Don't even talk to me Cheryl, you've crossed a line and I don't think we can be friends.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry.

(10:12) -Toni-  
You're lucky you're cute.

(10:13) -Toni-  
I'm feeling you're a more old timey-wimey music person.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
What does that mean?

(10:17) -Toni-  
A bit of Hey Jude?

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Maybe not.

(10:21) -Toni-  
Come on Bombshell, don't make it bad.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
I'm not?

(10:24) -Toni-  
Take a sad song and make it better.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Oh god I nearly fell for it.

(10:27) -Toni-  
Don't let it under your skin.

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
Still isn't working.

(10:31) -Toni-  
Damn. I'll be back, just you wait.

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
Oh, and how I look forward to it, TT.

*

(11:02) -Toni-  
Hey there, Bombshell, what's it like inside your bedroom?

(11:02) -Toni-  
I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty

(11:03) -Toni-  
Yes you doooooooooooo

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Nope.

(11:05) -Toni-  
Why not Moony I'm trying my hardest!

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
It didn't even rhyme.

(11:06) -Toni-  
This is a lot more difficult than it looks, you know.

(11:07) -Cheryl-  
Why are you doing this, anyway?

(11:08) -Toni-  
I have been informed that it's Valentine's Day.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
Oh.

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
It is?

(11:12) -Toni-  
Uh huh. The school's decked out in hearts and naked babies. Who would’ve thought a ran down crack shack would take a holiday so seriously?

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
I guess that explains why my parents aren't home 

(11:14) -Toni-  
Yeah, I get to spend quality time with a pissed and lonely Sweetpea tonight.

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
Hang on, your idea of Valentine's gestures was… singing?

(11:16) -Toni-  
Admittedly, there are some flaws in the plan.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
Some?

(11:18) -Toni-  
Don't diss my singing!

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
You haven't technically sung.

(11:21) -Toni-  
Is that a challenge?

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
Absolutely not!!

(11:24) -Toni-  
ttyl, I'm about to get busted for texting

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
Ok

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
No singing!

*

[Calling Cheryl]

"…I feel like I'm going to regret answering."

"BOMBSHELL TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WE CAN BE ALONE-"

"Toni, no!"

"I'LL BE WAITING, ALL THAT'S LEFT TO DO IS RUN-"

"This is - oh my god."

"YOU'LL BE THE PRINCESS AND I'LL BE… well, also the princess."

"Holy fucking god."

"IT'S A LOVE STORY BOMBSHELL JUST SAY YES."

"You are the worst thing that's happened to me."

"How do you think I feel? I'm in the cafeteria."

"Oh my god."

"I may or may not have leapt up on the table."

"No."

"Yes. It's ok, no one's really noticed. They're all doing their own thing. Wow, even Sweetpea."

"With the girl he kissed?"

"I can't tell, there's this weirdly shaped dude with a cowlick so I can't tell them apart - oh, yes I think it is. Neck tattoo."

"You don't just remember people by features, right?"

"Why not? Fangs was Syd the Sloth was for three weeks until I actually spoke to him. Jughead was that dude with a burger and a beanie.”

"You're so charming."

"I was a little shit, but the names have become kinder in recent years."

"Glad to hear it."

"Well, then, are you falling to my feet?"

"You're unbelievable."

"There's no hiding your love any longer, Cheryl. We all know."

"As strange as it was, you're actually quite a good singer."

"Oh. Thanks. Ah. Ok."

"Oh my goodness, has it happened? Have I made the incredible flirting extraordinaire Toni Topaz blush?"

"N-never!"

"You're a liar."

"Don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my reputation."

"Are you kidding me? I'm marking this on a calendar."

"Sure, you explain to everyone how to made me blush on Valentine's Day."

"A suggestive wink will be enough to make them blush."

"Oh, Bombshell, you fox."

"I can't be contained any longer."

"I look forward to this. Ok - I have to get to class now."

"Thanks for the serenade."

"My pleasure, Moony."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Friday PM

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
Phillips asked for the Valentine's Special so now I'm telling him about my various cats I keep as girlfriends

(9:13) -Toni-  
If I were an animal, Bombshell, I'd be a dog

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
I wasn't really talking about you, but at least I have that piece of information now.

(9:15) -Toni-  
So he hasn't unsubscribed yet?

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
No. I asked him if he had a Valentines this year and he said no and I called him a loser AND HE IS STILL MESSAGING.

(9:18) -Toni-  
Damn, this guy is incredible.

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
I'm beyond admiration now. I'm starting to think he's a bit thick.

(9:22) -Toni-  
Wow, didn’t realize he had that cake on him till now but you’re right. Tell him about the time you spent Valentine's Day eating ice cream and watching Marley and Me.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
You’re unbelievable. And you mean the movie where the dog dies? Excellent, sure.

(9:26) -Toni-  
Rude!!

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
So are you taking care of an intoxicated Sweetpea?

(9:29) -Toni-  
No, Pea’s with some whore.

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Toni.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Ok, Veronica Lodge. That bitchy cheerleader from the Northside. they met at that party I was at. Apparently, they hung out when I was taking Fangs and Jugs back to their trailers. 

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Wow. Unexpected. Thought the Northside and Southside hate each other? 

(9:33) - Toni-  
Yeah, I guess they have a lot in common. Supposedly she’s not as bitchy as she seems but who knows. 

(9:33) -Toni-  
Are you on your own?

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
No, I’m with Betty and Archie. Are you on your own?

(9:35) -Toni-  
I have Sheba.

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
God bless Sheba. Hey, what are we doing tomorrow?

(9:39) -Toni-  
Oh God, I've been thinking so much about it happening that I haven't actually thought about what we'd do.

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
Well, you're near Pop’s, right?

(9:42) -Toni-  
Yeah, about 10 minutes give or take.

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
Maybe we can just meet there and decide from there.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Ok. What time? I don't know how close you are.

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
Getting there at ten won't mean I have to wake especially early, so.

(9:48) -Toni-  
Okay, so Pop’s at ten? 

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. If that's cool for you.

(9:53) -Toni-  
Yeah, of course.

(9:54) -Cheryl-  
Alright.

(9:55) - Toni-  
What are your parents gonna think?

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
That I’m on a double date with that rich boy Toni and Betty and Archie. I’ll just tell them I’m going to our other property. 

(9:57) - Toni-  
Other property?

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Yep. Perks of being a Blossom, or whatever.

(9:58) - Toni-   
Sneaky. I like it.

[Calling Toni]

"Just calling to make sure we're all good for tomorrow."

"Smartass."

"It's always good to double check."

"Triple check."

"Quadruple check. Yeah."

"Bombshell?"

"Mm?"

"I'm gonna be honest. I'm nervous."

"Haha, me too, Toni. I'm terrified."

"Ok. As long as that's out in the open."

"Yep. I should add, though… it's also the good kind of nervous."

"Oh, yeah, me too. Like, to put it lamely, butterflies. That's so sappy."

"Hah, I know what you mean though. Actually, I think I've got a lion in there."

"Would you like a lion in you?"

"Oh my god! Is now really the time?"

"I told you I was nervous!"

"So you're a nervous flirter. Just my luck."

"I should think you're incredibly lucky, Bombshell."

"I am. It's not everyday I get hot girls flirting with me."

"Which is a real crime."

"I guess I'll just have to settle for you."

"Settle? How dare you. I'm deluxe."

"Optimum female."

"Prestige."

"I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Ok. I should get to sleep, even though I don't think I'll be sleeping that much tonight."

"Same. Happy Valentine's. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Happy Valentine's, TT. Love you."

"What?!"

"Oh my god!"

"Did you-"

"No, oh my god! I'm so sorry! Damnit, I do this all the time!"

"OH MY GOD, BOMBSHELL."

"I'M SORRY, IT'S A REFLEX. I SAID IT TO THE PIZZA BOY YESTERDAY."

"You're cheating on me with the pizza boy?"

"Well, he does have pizza, which is what I look for in a partner."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"This is mortifying."

"Don't worry about it, Bombshell. Love ya too."

"I hate you."

[Calling Disconnected]

*

Saturday AM

(9:15) -Toni-  
Rise and shine, hot stuff.

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
Hello.

(9:16) -Toni-  
That's not very enthusiastic.

(9:17) -Cheryl-  
HELLO MY ONE AND ONLY.

(9:19) -Toni-  
There we are. Ready?

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Definitely.

(9:25) -Toni-  
Sweet. Ok. Cool.

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
Ok. I'll see you in, like, half an hour.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Yeah. Oh my god. Ok. Bye.

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
See ya soon.

*

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Ok, I'm here.

(10:12) -Toni-  
Youuuuuuuu are not.

(10:23) -Toni-  
Bombshell

(10:30) -Toni-  
Come on, this isn't funny.

(10:35) -Toni-  
Cheryl?

(10:43) -Toni-  
At least answer me, man.

*

(10:45) -Toni-  
Fangs I've been stood up.

(10:46) -Fangs Fagorty-  
She’s probably freaking out in a bathroom somewhere. Be patient.

(10:47) -Toni-  
It's been nearly an hour! She’s not answering my messages.

(10:47) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Give her another ten.

(10:48) -Toni-  
Okay...

*

(10:58) - Toni-  
Cheeeeeeryl

(10:59) -Toni-  
If you're freaking out in a bathroom somewhere

(10:59) -Toni-  
Like

(10:59) -Toni-  
Don't

(11:00) -Toni-  
????

*

(11:01) -Toni-  
She’s still not here.

(11:01) -Fangs-  
Call her?

*

[Calling Bombshell]

"Hi, this is Cheryl. I can't answer at the moment, clearly. Leave a message."

*

(11:03) -Toni-  
She’s not answering. Fangs she's not fucking answering

(11:03) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok ok calm down. I'm coming.

(11:04) -Toni-  
Jesus Christ

*

Saturday PM

(1:34) -Toni-  
If you didn't want to meet you could have just told me. I would have understood.

(1:45) -Toni-  
Ignoring me isn't going to make me any happier.

(1:50) -Toni-  
Im trying my hardest not to be angry.

(1:57) -Toni-  
CHERYL!?!

(2:13) -Toni-  
Fucking hell

*

(4:21) -Toni-  
I just hope you know how embarrassing that was.

*

(8:35) -Toni-  
It's only just occurred to me that something could have happened to you.

(8:47) -Toni-  
You'll forgive me if I hope so.

*

Sunday AM

[Calling Toni]

"What."

"Oh my god, Toni, I am so sorry-"

"Just. What."

"I - well, I didn't stand you up on purpose, for one. You should know that immediately. Toni, I want nothing more than to see you. Really."

"Ok."

"My parents, they're going away starting tomorrow and I was meant to stay at Betty’s but her parents can't do it-"

"The point, Cheryl."

"I was ambushed in the kitchen on my way out and now I'm on a bus to some summer camp for the chronically ill and disabled, despite the fact it's not even fucking summer."

"What?"

"In ten minutes I won't even be in the country."

"Oh. My god."

"I can't stay on my own without someone there who knows how to help me in case of an emergency. So while my parents holiday in France I get… Wales, England. Which I'm sure is lovely but I've lost all interest in the place."

"You're rambling."

"I'm so sorry, Toni, I really, truly am. When I told them I was seeing you, my dad kind of freaked out a lot because he didn’t believe me because apparently he and my mother know every fucking one in this fucking country- so he took my phone from me for the day. I didn't mean to ignore you or ditch you or humiliate you and I'm so sorry-"

"Hey, hey, it's ok. I mean, it wasn't at the time, but I get it now. You're ok, Cheryl."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"I don't think I can."

"Hey, you're not - are you cry-"

"Shush. Don't mention it."

"Ok. Sorry."

"Now you need to stop apologising."

"This is a mess."

"This is fucking awful, to be honest."

"Yeah. Pretty fucking awful. How long's the camp?"

"Two weeks."

"This sounds like a prison sentence."

"Yeah. Some forewarning would have been nice but what can I expect from the lovely Blossom’s, really."

"Yeah, it would have. For both of us."

"Shit, I was so ready."

"Hey, it's alright. You're not really going to prison."

"So you're not going to send me pin-up shots for lonely nights?"

"That's not what I said."

"I promise I won't share with Big Bob the Phlegmy Cell Mate."

"Hah. We'll get there. I'll see you when I get back. You, me, and Sheba can have a welcome home party."

"Oh shit."

"What?"

"I forgot about Sheba."

"What's that suppose to mean?!"

"Molly - our family friend, she's house sitting, but she doesn't know about Sheba. Molly's not staying there."

“You mean the fish I sent you with the letter...  
is going to starve?”

"I'm in no position to collect them."

"I. Well. I could get Sheba."

"It's just a goldfish, Sirius."

"How dare you. That's SHEBA the goldfish. You can't just let another creature die!"

"You could get Sheba?"

"If that's not weird."

"No. Just. No, ok, it is a weird suggestion."

"Just an offer."

"Didn't say I wasn't considering it. Admittedly, I am quite fond of Sheba."

"Fond enough to forget about them?"

"I said I was fond of them, not in love with them. Jeez."

"Well, I do know where you live. Wow that sounded threatening. But you know."

"Yeah. Ok. Molly should be there tomorrow morning to see my parents off - they leave at eleven, so avoid them at all costs."

"Ok. Will Molly just let me in?"

"You tell her you're a friend of mine and it'll be fine. She'll tell you where to go."

"Ok. Alright. I'm getting Sheba."

"Thanks, TT. And I'm sorry, again."

"Don't swea- it, -emus. We're get- closer."

"You're breaking up a bit - fuck, ok, we're getting into the middle of nowhere now."

"-Kay, talk to you -ater, Cheryl."

"I'll see you soon, Toni."

"Soon."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Drafts of Toni’s letter to Cheryl:

Dear Cheryl Moon “Moony” Bombshell, Sweetheart, Honey Bunches, Blossom

I am writing to inform you that the phone has arrived. Well obviously, actually. I mean it came with this letter. This is stupid and redundant, um also Sheba is there too. Um. Yeah I sent you a fucking fish.

I’m an idiot,

Toni Topaz Toni

-

Dear Blossom

I have never called you by your last name before and it’s weird. I mean, it’s a lovely name, and you called me by mine for a while but also your family is awful. Okay. It’s very cool. Everyone loves Cherry Blossoms. But calling you Blossom is very formal and strange. Especially since I imagine us

No that’s weird I’m going to stop.

From Topaz

-

To: Cheryl

RE: Phone and Fish

Subject Title: Hi!

Body: I’m a fucking loser.

-

Dear Cheryl

Um. Hi. I’m sorry about the state of my hand writing. Who even hand writes letters anymore? This girl. Me. Toni Topaz. Biggest bitch to walk the earth.

I’m just kidding, there’s always Fangs.

Do I talk about him too much? I probably do. Don’t tell him that though, it’ll go to his head, and we just got it deflated and everything.

I’m talking too much about him again. Shit. Bye Bombshell.

-

Dear Cheryl

Here’s the phone. Like I said, I promise I haven’t stalked you. I put this in the post office and everything. I put on four whole stamps. The woman at the post office said one would be enough but I couldn't pick between them. My favourite’s the night sky because it reminds me of you

Shit

-

Dear Cheryl

I’m sorry I’m emotionally stunted and I’m terrified about seeing you on Saturday but I won’t tell you that because I know you’ll think it’s your fault but it’s not Cheryl you are the most amazing person I have ever known and I don't know what kind of person I would be if I hadn’t accidentally texted the wrong number like trust me to make the best mistake of my life out of a slip of the finger this is so stupid because I haven’t even met you yet but thinking about you and thinking about seeing you gives me butterflies and that's so sappy and lame it makes me groan at my own stupidity but secretly I hope it’s like this for you too.

I am never ever ever ever ever ever sending this letter ever.

From a Very Embarrassed Toni Topaz

-

Dear Cheryl

I didn’t use to believe in fate

-

Dear Cheryl

Why am I so shit at writing letters? You would know the answer. You know the answer to everything. You’re like an enigma. WHY IS THIS SO HARD??

-

Dear Cheryl

I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man, I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a my can! I'm a tough tootin' baby, I can punch-a your buns!

Punch-a your buns, I can punch all your buns! If you're an evil witch, I will punch you for fun!

-

Dear Cheryl

You’re a sexy lady – wait. The phone I mean. Ah fuck all of this.

-

Dear Cheryl,

I couldn’t let this opportunity pass without writing to you. Just a different form of media to message you, right? I don't think you’ve seen the crop circles I’ve left for you. Don't fret, they were just nudes.

Your phone contact is called May-Sue. You’re blonde, double D, like it up the ass. If you were a guy I’d go: Hey, at least that part is consistent for you. I will refuse to make an anal joke here.

He’ll usually text at break and lunch, which is 10:30-10:50 and then 12:00-1:00. But you can text him all day. I encourage it, even. Tell me if he tries to unsubscribe.

Oh, and don’t worry if you think you're doing bad I’m sure you fantastic at it because Jughead is pretty shit too.

If it’s ok with you, I’d like to put you in a group message with Jughead, Sweetpea and Fangs so we can update on where we’re at. I need them to approve of you too

I think that’s all. Look through past messages if you’re unsure. practice with me if you’re really concerned but I think you’ll it’ll be fine.

I look forward to seeing you on Saturday. Like, really looking forward to the point where I don’t want it to happen. I guess we won’t have any problems noticing each other. I mean, I have a broken arm. You have a gorgeous face, or so I’ve been told.

I guess I’ll wrap this up now. Have fun on your sexting adventure without me.

Love From Toni


	8. Name Tattooed On In an Arrow Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We love to see the Serpent tat. Thank you for the love also!!! It means the world :) let me know what you’d like to see going forward and I’ll absolutely include it!!! Maybe if you want to see them interact without the texts or phones and in person, I’d be super into that! Or keep it texts and calls, that’s cool too :) have a good day!

Monday AM

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
It has just occurred to me that you're skipping school to get a goldfish.

(11:04) -Toni-  
The least I could do. Also means I get to ditch classes this morning.

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
Are you going to get into trouble?

(11:07) -Toni-  
Probably, but it's not like I can get any more detentions. I already have a more than I could possibly have this year

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
Ok. If you say so.

(11:11) -Toni-  
How's camping?

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
Technically we can't actually camp. I can't even participate in the camp fires because of the smoke and shit lung combination. So it's more like a furnace house in the middle of a freaking field.

(11:15) -Toni-  
At least you have reception.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
I have to hold the phone above my head as if I were praying to God to get my messages sent.

(11:19) -Toni-  
Are you sure you're ok with me, like, being in your house?

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
All in the name of Sheba.

(11:22) -Toni-  
Ok. I'm at the front door. Tell me now if you change your mind.

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
Go. Save the poor fish.

(11:23) -Toni-  
Ok.

(11:30) -Cheryl-  
Molly's lovely.

(11:32) -Toni-  
She is.

(11:34) -Toni-  
I haven't seen red hair like this ever

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
Well then you'd probably pass out at the sight of mine

(11:36) -Toni-  
She's making tea. Wow, this is a huge living room

(11:37) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god - it was my nana's house.

(11:39) -Toni-  
Your nana has class. Love me some red's

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
That's basically the entire house.

(11:43) -Toni-  
It's comfy too. Molly insists I have some snacks.

(11:45) -Cheryl-  
She's like that.

(11:47) -Toni-  
Could Molly not have looked after you?

(11:48) -Cheryl-  
She has two kids, Toni! And I don't need 'looking after'. She's only there when the house needs looking after. My mother fired the maid after accusing her of stealing her jewellery 

(11:50) -Toni-  
how sweet of her. Ooo I'm being led to the bedroom.

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
Don't get weird.

(11:51) -Toni-  
Wow. Jesus. It's... really fancy. And red. A four post bed? Jesus.   
ALSO I SEE A POSTER OF THE SMITHS HIDDEN IN YOUR CLOSET??! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS WHEN I WAS SERENADING YOU!

(11:52) -Cheryl-  
I didn't want to give you ammunition.

(11:53) -Toni-  
You're a cheat, Cheryl Blossom.

(11:54) -Cheryl-  
Don't snoop through my stuff!

(11:55) -Toni-  
I'm not I'm not! It's just a big fucking poster, man. Oh my god Sheba.

(11:56) -Cheryl-  
Are they ok?

(11:57) -Toni-  
They're fine - uh, Cheryl?

(11:57) -Cheryl-  
Yeah?

(11:59) -Toni-  
How am I going to carry a bowl of water on my bike with one arm?

(12:01)-Cheryl-  
...Carefully.

(12:02) -Toni-  
Helpful.

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm sure you could put Sheba in a bag or something and carry them in that.

(12:05) -Toni-  
Fine. I hope Molly knows where to find those.

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
Plastic bags are in the bottom of the pantry.

(12:07) -Toni-  
Ok. Cheryl?

(12:08) -Cheryl-  
Yeah?

(12:10) -Toni-  
Don't freak out.

(12:11) -Cheryl-  
Well, now I am. What is it?

(12:13) -Toni-  
There are a lot of pictures in your house.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
Oh. I didn't even consider that.

(12:14) -Toni-  
So I was right all along.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
What?

(12:16) -Toni-  
YOU'RE FUCKING HOT YOU GODDAMN LIAR.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
OH MY GOD STOP

(12:18) -Toni-  
I like the one on your desk. I assume the girl is Betty?

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Oh my god this is terrible.

(12:21) -Toni-  
If you want terrible, I'll send you Jughead's selfies and tell you they're mine.

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
You're so mean to him.

(12:24) -Toni-  
He'd say the same about me.

(12:26) -Toni-  
If you want I could you a picture. You know, to be fair.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
No, don't worry about it. How's Sheba doing?

(12:28) -Toni-  
They're all packed and ready.

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Good luck on your mission.

(12:30) -Toni-  
Hah, yeah. Let's see how well this goes.

*

Monday PM

(1:23) -Sweets-  
TONI WHY IS THERE A GOLDFISH ON YOUR KITCHEN TABLE

(1:24) -Toni-  
Oh, that's Sheba.

(1:25) -Sweets-  
WHO THE FUCK IS SHEBA? YOU HAVENT REALLY ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

(1:26) -Toni-  
That's. Um. Me and Cheryl's goldfish.

(1:33) -Toni-  
Pea?

(1:34) -Sweets  
I'M SORRY I'M JUST TRYING TO COMPREHEND WHY THE FUCK YOU WOULD HAVE CHERYL'S GOLDFISH

(1:35) -Toni-  
I told you, she's away on some camp. Someone needs to look after the goldfish.

(1:36) -Juggy-  
And you're the only friend she has to do the job????

(1:39) -Toni-  
Calm down guys, it's just a fish.

(1:40) -Sweets-  
HOW DID YOU GET THIS FISH?

(1:42) -Toni-  
I went to her house and got it.

(1:43) -Juggy-  
Are you being difficult on purpose?

(1:45) -Toni-  
No, I literally went to her house this morning to pick it up.

(1:46) -Sweets-  
WHY

(1:47) -Fangs-  
Boys, I think they have joint custody of a fish.

(1:48) -Sweets-  
NO KIDDING. WHAT IF A CAT SMELLS IT AND HIJACKS THE TRAILER?!!!

(1:49) -Toni-  
Calm down, Pea, Jesus Christ. No one will ever know. It's just for a little while.

(1:50) -Juggy-  
So you've never met the girl, but you've been to her house and now have her goldfish??

(1:51) -Toni-  
Yeah. Well technically it was mine but I gave it to her. Crazy, right?

(1:52) -Juggy-  
Understatement.

(1:53) -Toni-  
I saw a picture of her

(1:54) -Fangs-  
And? Was I right?

(1:54) -Toni-  
Wow.

(1:55) -Fangs-  
Uh huh?

(1:57) -Toni-  
She's a big fucking adorable dork

(1:57) -Toni-  
It's amazing.

(1:58) -Fangs-  
If I have to hear you pine for the next two weeks...

(1:59) -Juggy-  
Then you will know what the last six years have been like.

(1:59) -Sweets-  
HAHAHAHA

(2:01) -Toni-  
Why are you in my trailer, anyway?

(2:01) -Sweets-  
spare period.

(2:02) -Toni-  
Could you feed Sheba?

(2:03) -Sweets-  
What am I, the fishes uncle?

(2:04) -Toni-  
Please. Godfather Pea. We made a pact.

(2:05) -Fangs-  
It's a sin to have children before marriage.

(2:05) -Toni-  
Yeah, bc me being with a girl isn't the big sin here. It's a fish.

(2:06) -Fangs-  
Fish are holy symbols and you've tainted it with your adultery.

(2:06) -Toni-  
Should I tell the big guy what you've been up to with Kevin?

(2:07) -Fangs-  
You tell God nothing.

(2:08) -Toni-  
Then keep your mouth shut about our fish.

*

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
I may have made a tactical error.

(3:23) -Betty-  
Oh, hello to you too, Cheryl.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
Hello Betty.

(3:24) -Cheryl-  
I may have made a tactical error.

(3:25) -Betty-  
Yes, you said. How's Wales?

(3:25) -Cheryl-  
Wet. Sheep. Nature. You know.

(3:26) -Betty-  
I don't. Never been to Wales before, or anywhere outside of Riverdale. It must be nice over there.

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
Wet, sheep, nature. Stop making me repeat myself.

(3:27) -Betty-  
Maybe me and my future husband will move to Wales. Have some kids, get a dog.

(3:28) -Cheryl-  
Betty!!!

(3:29) -Betty-  
Ok, ok, I'm just teasing. What mistake have you made this time?

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
I suddenly don't want to tell you.

(3:32) -Betty-  
What questionable decision have you made regarding Lover Girl now?

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
I

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
Well

(3:34) -Cheryl-  
Long story short, she has my fish.

(3:35) -Toni-  
You mean the fish she sent you that you keep by the picture of us?

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
Yes, that fish.

(3:37) -Betty-  
You mean the... fish you keep in your room? Your house?

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
Yes. That fish.

(3:39) -Betty-  
Oh my god Cheryl. It takes me three years for you to talk to Archie, but you just let a stranger into your house?

(3:40) -Betty-  
You're weird. 

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
You know how you said it was the fish by the picture of us?

(3:41) -Betty-  
Yeah?

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
She had to retrieve the fish which was by the picture of us. Me.

(3:45) -Betty-  
Oh. And?

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
She's still messaging me, which is always a good sign. But that's not the issue.

(3:46) -Betty-  
What's the issue then?

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
She offered to send me a picture of herself and I declined.

(3:48) -Betty-  
Do you regret that?

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
Yes and no. This will sound really sappy.

(3:50) -Betty-  
Go on.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
I kinda wanted us to see each other for the first time in person.

(3:52) -Betty-  
But now that's been ruined.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. So I don't know if I hold out until we meet in person or make it fair and have a picture.

(3:54) -Betty-  
Pictures don't always look the same as in person.

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. That is true.

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
So you think... wait?

(3:57) -Betty-  
I think so. You already have this ideal to see her for the first time in person. Keep that. Doesn't matter if it's not the same for her.

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Yeah. Sure.

(4:02) -Betty-  
Any idea when the new meet up will happen?

(4:03) -Cheryl-  
Oh, no. We haven't spoken about it. I think Toni might still be a bit worried with me after last time.

(4:04) -Betty-  
I'm really sorry, Cher. I know how important it was to you.

(4:05) -Cheryl-  
It's not your fault.

(4:06) -Betty-  
But we left it so last minute! And my dad can't get over his stupid fucking grudge against your parents to let you come over:

(4:07) -Cheryl-  
Yes, but you didn't physically remove me from the country. I don't blame you Betty, you're fine. I don't blame your dad, either.

(4:08) -Betty-  
He's an idiot. But he's sorry too.

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
No, he isn't. But tell your dad it's fine anyway.

(4:11) -Betty-  
Ok. Thank you.

(4:12) -Cheryl-  
No problem. Thank you.

*

(9:42) -Toni-  
Hey Cheryl

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(9:45) -Toni-  
Hey Cheryl

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(9:46) -Toni-  
BOMBSHELL!

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
Woah, what?!

(9:48) -Toni-  
Oh, nothing, just the message wouldn't send before.

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, reception is shit out here. Sorry.

(9:52) -Toni-  
That's alright. Wait, did I wake you?

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
No. New bed and everything, can't sleep.

(9:54) -Toni-  
Excellent. Can I call you?

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
You could try, but I don't like your chances.

(9:56) -Toni-  
Ok, hang tight.

[Calling Cheryl]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

[Calling Cheryl]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

(10:03) -Toni-  
Shit.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Ah. Hang on, I have an idea.

(10:05) -Toni-  
Ok.

[Answer: 9401*****]

"...Bombshell?"

"Yeah, hi."

"What phone are you on?"

"Landline. It's outside though. I'm fucking freezing."

"Is it ok for you to be outside?"

"Yeah, I have a hot water bottle. God, Mum, stop fretting."

"Sorry. Don't want you catching pneumonia, ya know."

"I'll be fine. Couldn't sleep?"

"Nah. Tell me what it's like there."

"Betty asked the same, but there's not much to tell really. It's constantly raining, which I guess is a change from Riverdale."

"How are the locals?"

"Baa-baric."

"What?"

"They're sheep, Toni. There's just a lot of sheep."

"Oh. No chance of running into Big Foot out there?"

"Don't rule it out. We are yet to go hiking."

"Really? Are you going to go hiking?"

"One of the compulsory activities, unless our health fails. I'm not saying I'm hoping for it, but..."

"Oh, Bombshell! A little walking never killed anyone."

"You underestimate the mountains of Wales."

"Hey, at least there won't be bears."

"Unless one of these sheep goes rabid, there won't be much to see there at all."

"Think of the positives, Bombshell."

"Like?"

"..."

"See, you don't even know."

"You just gotta... I don't know, pretend there's something waiting for you at the end."

"Imminent death."

"Well, duh, Bombshell, death is always waiting. He's your oldest friend."

"Do you have any suggestions then?"

"Imagine... Angelina Jolie at the end."

"Angelina Jolie? Really?"

"You don't think so?"

"Not really, no."

"Ok, then. Maybe. Oh, the lead singer guy of the Smiths."

"How about you?"

"...Oh?"

"Drowning in the ocean."

"Whatever floats your boat, Moonlight, but personally I'm offended."

"Admit it, you were flattered there for a moment."

"Yeah, and then you threw it away. Oh, but would I be in a bikini while I'm drowning?"

"Hmm... I suppose it only makes sense."

"Perfect. Imagine me in swim trunks... drowning. That last bit is optional. I'll leave it up to you."

"Leave it up to me, huh?"

"Yep. Any ideas?"

"A few."

"Well, do share."

"I'm imaging that I'd have you - ah shit."

"Moony, don't be a tease."

"Uh, gotta go. Whoops. Talk to later, TT."

"WHAT, CHERYL-"

[Call Disconnected]

*

Tuesday AM

(7:23) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry, I got busted by the camp leader talking on the landline 'out of hours'.

(7:24) -Toni-  
How early did you get up?

(7:24) -Cheryl-  
Seven. Did I wake you?

(7:26) -Toni  
Yeah. That's okay though. I guess this means I'll eat breakfast this morning.

(7:26) -Cheryl-  
Most important meal of the day.

(7:29) -Toni-  
Thank you, mother.

(7:30) -Toni-  
Did they literally kick you off the phone?

(7:31) -Cheryl-  
Yes. They said there are certain hours allocated for phone calls and that I need to sign up for it.

(7:32) -Toni-  
Wow. I really was kidding when I said it was a prison.

(7:32) -Cheryl-  
So I hope you're available at five in the afternoon.

(7:34) -Toni-  
Uh, yeah, sure.

(7:34) -Toni-  
You're not going to use it to call your parents or something, though?

(7:36) -Cheryl-  
This may be childish but I'm purposely ignoring them.

(7:36) -Toni-  
Right. Ok. I should've guessed that. I'd ignore your parents too

(7:38) -Cheryl-  
So I'll talk to you at five.

(7:39) -Toni-  
I'm looking forward to it.

*

(10:38) -Juggy-  
TONI!!!!!!! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!!

(10:39) -Sweets-  
ALIENS HAVE DESCENDED TO THE EARTH?? FUCK YES ILL GRAB THE NET

(10:39) -Juggy-  
NO FUCK FACE, HE WANTS OUT!! PHILLIPS WANTS OUT AND SO DO I PLEASE END THIS.

(10:40) -Toni-  
OK OK HANG ON.

(10:41) -Toni-  
SEND HIM TO THIS LINK.

(10:43) -Juggy-  
WHAT IS IT?

(10:44) -Toni-  
DON'T CLICK THE "UNSUBSCRIBE"! JUST SEND IT TO HIM.

(10:45) -Juggy-  
FINE FINE.

(10:47) -Juggy-  
OK I DID IT.

(10:48) -Toni-  
EXCELLENT JOB COMRADE. YOUR WORK HERE IS OVER. I RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR DUTIES.

(10:49) -Juggy-  
OH THANK FUCK. DO I TELL FANGS?

(10:51) -Toni-  
Nah, let's see how long it takes for him to crack.

(10:52) -Juggy-  
You're the biggest ass I know.

(10:53) -Juggy-  
That's why we're best friend.

(10:53) -Sweets-  
Wabbout me? :(

(10:53) - Juggy-  
Sweets you've literally spent the past two days at my place. 

(10:54) - Sweets-  
HAHA. Yeah. Okay bye :)

*

(11:01) -Toni-  
Phase three is complete.

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
Oh I forgot about that. I'm afraid Mary-Sue is at home.

(11:03) -Toni-  
That's ok. We've moved on to phase four, but don't tell Fangs.

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
Asshole

(11:04) -Toni-  
Why does everyone say that?

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
What's phase four?

(11:07) -Toni-  
Well, we've been pushing for him to unsubscribe so I could send him a certain link which would do certain things.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
What kind of things?

(11:11) -Toni-  
Patience, Moony! 

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
You're unbearable!

(11:14) -Toni-  
That's why you love me.

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
I accidentally say it once...

(11:16) -Toni-  
And you know you'll never live it down.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
Unfortunately.

(11:19) -Toni-  
What are you doing?

(11:21) -Cheryl-  
We're making jam. I need to get out immediately.

(11:22) -Toni-  
Jam is delicious Moony. I don't know what your problem is.

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
TONI YOU KNOW I SUCK AT COOKING

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
And now everyone here knows it too.

(11:25) -Toni-  
Why are you making jam though?

(11:26) -Cheryl-  
Something to do. My days are now going to be divided up into small group activities.

(11:26) -Cheryl-  
After this we get to watch a movie!!!!!!!

(11:28) -Toni-  
I'm detecting sarcastic enthusiasm.

(11:30) -Cheryl-  
What gave it away.

(11:31) -Toni-  
Chin-up, Moony. At the end of all this, you'll have jam.

(11:32) -Cheryl-  
Some burnt jam.

(11:34) -Toni-  
So your camping experience isn't improving, huh?

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
I'm determined to make it terrible.

(11:36) -Toni-  
Sadist. You gotta make the best of your situation.

(11:38) -Cheryl-  
I'm in the middle of nowhere.

(11:39) -Toni-  
Now what are some positives of the place?

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
If we keep all the doors and windows closed it's kinda warm in here.

(11:41) -Toni-  
Bombshell.

(11:43) -Cheryl-  
The people are ok, I guess. There's someone else here just as shit at cooking as me.

(11:45) -Toni-  
Amazing. You have found your brethren.

(11:46) -Cheryl-  
She has green hair too. She's quite funny.

(11:48) -Toni-  
It's not all doom and gloom.

(11:49) -Cheryl-  
I guess.

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
Shit she JUST CAUGHT THE CURTAINS ON FIRE GOTTA GO.

(11:50) -Toni-  
WOAH DUDE

(11:51) -Toni-  
OK

(11:51) -Toni-  
DON'T BURN TO DEATH.

*

Tuesday MIDDAY

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
*1 image attached*

https://hofstedes.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Jams-jellies-marmalade.jpg

(12:24) -Toni-  
Hey, they look alright.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
This is the batch that didn't burn.

(12:26) -Toni-  
How'd the fire pan out?

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
Fine. No one choked to death, which is always a positive.

(12:28) -Toni-  
Yeah, death would really put a downer on those treats.

(12:30) -Cheryl-  
Oh, Toni, would you like one?

(12:31) -Toni-  
I would love one, Moonface.

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
And one for Sheba?

(12:34) -Toni-  
They're dieting.

(12:34) -Cheryl-  
What?!

(12:35) -Toni-  
You were overfeeding them, Cheryl! You're irresponsible.

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
At least I'm around!

(12:37) -Toni-  
But when you are you bitch and moan! Sheba doesn't need that kind of negativity.

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe this. You're taking over my child.

(12:41) -Toni-  
Sheba's mine now. As they always were intended to be. No take backs.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
I'll tell Patches you've abandoned her.

(12:42) -Toni-  
How dare you! The betrayal!

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
Shit, I'm getting told off for messaging. Back to the movie.

(12:43) -Toni-  
What movie?

(12:44) -Cheryl-  
Star Wars. Don't ask which one, I have no idea.

(12:45) -Toni-  
You're meant to be the movie whizz! All that free time!

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, and I clearly spent it watching Aliens and fucking Jurassic Park.

(12:48) -Cheryl-  
Wasted.

(12:48) -Toni-  
Ok, really now.

(12:49) -Toni-  
Enjoy Star Wars. And pay attention!

(12:49) -Cheryl-  
Whatever.

*

Tuesday PM

(2:01) -Toni-  
Ok, boys, just watch Phillips. this period. Just watch him.

(2:01) -Fangs-  
What for?

(2:02) -Toni-  
For reasons, Fogarty, just do as I say.

(2:03) -Juggy-  
Usually when I do that I get into a lot of trouble.

(2:03) -Toni-  
Grow a backbone, Jones. 

(2:04) -Fangs-  
What if we watch him and nothing happens?

(2:05) -Toni-  
Then we watch tomorrow, Fangs. Jeez.

(2:56) -Fangs-  
Nothing's happening.

(2:57) -Toni-  
I have found a flaw in the plan. Meet back tomorrow.

(2:58) -Juggy-  
You're fucking hopeless.

*

[Answer: 9401****]

"Mooncream?"

"Ok, I was going to ignore it, but what's with the alterations of my name?"

"Just changing it up. Keeping it fresh."

"Can I call you Tonipie?"

"You can call me whatever you like."

"How was your day then, bitch?"

"Phase four is paused. Turns out I missed over an important detail."

"Great. So I assume your arrest is soon?"

"Don't be silly, Moony. I won't get caught."

"Oh my god, what are you planning?"

"Not a single thing."

"Liar."

"It's a secret. Also, if I told you, you'd probably freak out."

"PROBABLY?"

"Don't get yell-y!"

"I'M ALREADY YELL-Y, TONI TOPAZ!"

"It's fine, look, I'll have Jughead as look out - ok?"

"Holy fuck Toni, look out for what?"

"I need Phillips to have his phone on him at all times for phase four to be effective. But during class he keeps his phone locked up in the back room."

"So what are you going to do to keep it on him at all times?"

"I either have to fuck up the lock to the back room..."

"Or?"

"Or, failing that, make him feel insecure about his phone's security by... taking it."

"I don't like either of these ideas."

"I knew you wouldn't."

"When are you attempting the lock thing?"

"Tonight. I need to act fast."

"Ok. Be careful."

"Always, Cheryl. Now, we have unfinished business."

"Do we?"

"I believe I was in a bikini."

"Oh, yes of course. You were about to wrestle a bear with your long brown hair blowing in the wind."

"This sounds like one of those covers of those romance books. Ya know. The one's with horses and totally ripped guys groping a woman in a white dress."

"Oh, yes. I know. They're actually quite well written."

"You're kidding."

"You underestimate how much time I have on my hands."

"Then you should be spending that time imagining me in compromising positions."

"Who says I don't?"

"Well, you're not giving me a lot here."

"I like to keep you on your toes."

"You have been. Congratulations."

"Why, thank you."

"It's weird... but, it feels like you're further away."

"I know what you mean. Even though we've never been together I feel away from you."

"We're a couple of saps."

"Oh, yeah. I thought you would know that about me by now."

"You're a big, mushy puppy."

"And you're not as punk rock as you try to believe."

"I'm soft punk. Still hardcore, but with feelings."

"Hah!"

"Don't laugh at my emotions."

"My apologies. If it makes you feel better, I am wearing a cardigan."

"Good choice, Cheryl. Oh - do you have a lots of freckles?"

"Oh god."

"Come on, the picture didn't give me much."

"I - yes, kind of. A lot on my arms, but only a few large ones on my back and neck."

"Hm."

"You... sound pleased."

"I'll have you know that I am."

"Arg, shut up."

"Blushy Bombshell."

"If you're so soft punk, does it mean you have piercings?"

"Only one."

"... Do I have to imagine?"

"No, but I'm curious to where the thoughts went."

"Ear. Obviously."

"You're no fun."

"But correct?"

"Yeah. Not enough cash to maintain facial piercings."

"A true crime."

"You think so?"

"Yes."

"We're getting somewhere."

"I'm very disappointed in you, though."

"What? Why?"

"Lots you can do with ears."

"True, I may have overlooked this."

"I promise I won't tell."

"You are a god among men, Bombshell."

"Don't you forget it - ah, fuck, Olivia!"

"What's that? Some fancy swear?"

"N-no, it's - what? What do you want?"

"Cheryl?"

"Oh. Turns out it's been an hour and our time's up. Which Olivia - sorry! Which 'Lyon' has so rudely informed me."

"We were just getting to the good part."

"I know. She wants to talk to her mom though."

"Alright then. I'll talk to you later, Bombshell."

"Yeah. Good luck on your mission, TT."

"See ya."

"Bye."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
Have you done it yet?

(9:44) -Toni-  
No. Phillips goes to bed at ten, exactly.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
How do you possibly know that?

(9:47) -Toni-  
I make it my business to know!

(9:48) -Toni-  
I have memorised each teacher's schedule. For insurance.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
You're too well prepared for things like this.

(9:51) -Toni-  
You have no idea. We also have a map for the entire building. And their houses.

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
How?!

(9:53) -Toni-  
We figured in freshman year that if we're gonna live in this shithole for a while, we might as well get to know the place.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
So you stole a map of the Southside?

(9:56) -Toni-  
Don't be so medieval. We made a map.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
That's...

(9:59) -Toni-  
Go on, say it. I won't tell on you.

(10:00) -Cheryl-  
Impressive.

(10:01) -Toni-  
I know. We're great.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Ok, we're going in.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Please don't get caught.

(10:04) -Toni-  
Don't worry, Moony. We've done stuff like this before. Many, many times.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
I'll bet.

*

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
How did it go?

(11:04) -Toni-  
Good. He shouldn't be able to unlock the door now without breaking it down.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Is he likely to do that?

(11:05) -Toni-  
Nah. He's pretty useless.

(11:06) -Cheryl-  
Dare I ask... what you did to the lock?

(11:08) -Toni-  
Oh, we stuffed it with clay. It should be solid by morning and unless you chip away at it, nothing is getting in.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
That's. Quite clever.

(11:10) -Toni-  
I'm trying very hard not to get hurt by your surprised text tone.

(11:11) -Cheryl-  
So he should have his phone on him tomorrow?

(11:12) -Toni-  
Yeah. I mean, he better. That's the point.

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
I wish you luck, then.

(11:13) -Toni-  
Thanks, Moony.

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(11:14) -Toni-  
Thanks, Moony. Good night.

(11:15) Good night, TT.

*

Wednesday AM

(9:02) -Toni-  
Here we go. Show time.

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
Can I know what's meant to happen now?

(9:04) -Toni-  
Nope. Wait until it happens.

(9:06) -Toni-  
Ok ok he's found the door locked. Means the phone should be in his pocket.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
All according to plan.

(9:08) -Toni-  
I'm imaging you stroking a cat or something.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
My fingers are cradling my chin and I am cackling maniacally 

(9:10) -Toni-  
I knew it.

(9:11) -Toni-  
HE LOOKS PANICKED.

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
What's happening?

(9:13) -Toni-  
Ok, so, just like I expected, he's really shit with technology. He still has his phone on vibrate. 

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
And now he can't put the phone in the back room...

(9:15) -Toni-  
It's on the front desk vibrating like crazy. He keeps excusing it but it won't stop and he can't turn it off.

(9:16) -Toni-  
Songbird: Sir, would you like me to change the settings?

(9:17) -Toni-  
Phillips: NO NO MISTER KELLER THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY JUST IGNORE IT.

(9:17) -Toni-  
Complete with chin wobble.

(9:18) -Toni-  
IT'S VIBRATING SO MUCH IT FELL OFF THE DESK.

(9:19) -Cheryl-  
But WHY is it vibrating so much?

(9:21) -Toni-  
We got him to unsubscribe.

(9:21) -Toni-  
And by unsubscribe, I mean upload his phone number to an online forum where posters were told to spam him like crazy.

(9:22) -Cheryl-  
Spam him with what?!

(9:23) -Toni-  
I said no pictures, so he's not going to jail or anything like that. Unfortunately.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Toni Topaz.

(9:25) -Toni-  
Ok, Bombshell, it's my time to shine. I'll get back to you.

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
What do you mean your time to shine?

(9:27) -Cheryl-  
TONI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
Damnit, Toni.

*

[Calling Cheryl]

"Toni?"

"Oh my god, calling worked! Awesome!"

"What did you do!"

"I got my own back, is what I did. Cheryl, I am proud to say that Operation Salt was a success."

"Well, tell me what happened. You already sound like an excited puppy."

"I AM AN EXCITED PUPPY, CHERYL. IT WAS AMAZING."

"No need to shout."

"DON'T KILL MY VIBE, MOONY. Ok, ok. Calming down."

"Tell me what happened. Now."

"Alright, so, even better than planned he decided that we would have an impromptu test. So the whole classroom was silent while his phone buzzed like crazy and by this point a few other students have asked him to turn it off and Phillips, being the prick he is, just told them to mind their own business and ignore it."

"How incompetent."

"Right? Anyway, after the ten minute mark I said 'Sir, I seem to recall that when it was my phone going off, my messages were read out to the class'."

"Oh, so you were subtle about it, then?"

"Subtle enough. Fangs and Jug got into badgering him to read the messages. Then Kevin told him 'Sir, those are you own rules. You have to follow your own rules.' And then suddenly, the entire class was hammering him to read out the messages."

"No."

"Yes, Bombshell, it was perfect."

"This only happens in movies."

"I may or may not have bribed a few people before class to agree with whatever I said."

"Ah, there it is."

"Shut up. My story still isn't finished."

"Very well, carry on."

"While the class hounded him I took it upon myself to grab his phone and start reading out his messages."

"Oh my god, Toni!"

"It was interesting, to say the least. Some very imaginative people on the internet."

"Are you going to prison? Are you using your one phone call right now?"

"No, Moony, I am nicely tucked away in my bed right now."

"What messages did you read out, then?"

"Let's see... Some of them were hilarious. My favourite included 'I want to kiss your awesome neck, then your awesome shoulders, and then kiss your nice boob, and then maybe your other nice boob, and maybe if I'm up for it your pudgy belly'."

"What?!"

"I know, it was incredible. Some of them were actually quite... raunchy, too, which was great. One said: 'I'm sitting at my desk fantasizing about how hot it would be to do it in my office.' Except I pretended that was a message Phillips wrote."

"Oh my god, Toni!"

"I know."

"And you read those out?"

"Yep. The class collectively told him that it must be done, fair is fair. He went so red, Cheryl, it was the single most amazing moment of my life. And the best part?"

"Mm?"

"He'll try to blame me, but he won't be able to report it, because that would mean telling the principal he read out my private messages, and he has no definitive proof it was me. And he never will."

"You're the devil."

"I'm just well prepared."

"So besides going red, how did he handle it?"

"He was nearly crying, but if I'm going to be honest with you Cheryl, I nearly was when he did it to me too. So there's that. He snatched the phone from me and threw it out the window and tried to tell us he'd gotten a virus on it. That's when Juggy helpfully pointed out that you only get a virus if you visit one of those sites or services in the first place."

"You're... incredible."

"I know. Refrain yourself, Moony, I know. He was so mortified."

"You sound so gleeful."

"I am."

"...Me too. He's a bastard."

"That's it, Bombshell! Good to hear it! Ok, I have to go, but I read out maaaany more texts."

"Do tell me about them."

"Will do. See you at five?"

"Yeah. 'See me' more or less."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes. See you, TT. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Bombshell."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Wednesday PM

(2:12) -Toni-  
I can't wait to have your strong legs wrapped around me.

(2:14) -Cheryl-  
It took me too long to realise this was one of Phillips' texts.

(2:15) -Toni-  
I'm sure there was some good embarrassment on your part.

(2:15) -Cheryl-  
Mostly confusion, a little repulsion.

(2:16) -Toni-  
You don't want to wrap your strong legs around me?

(2:17) -Cheryl-  
In a choke hold, maybe.

(2:17) -Toni-  
Oh, Moony.

*

(3:14) -Toni-  
There's a party in my pants and you're invited.

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
That's just a really shit pick up line.

(3:16) -Toni-  
I know, but there was a lot of detailed stuff in there even I wouldn't read out.

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
I find that hard to believe.

(3:17) -Toni-  
I want you to choke me while you ram me against the desk.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
Not that detailed.

(3:19) -Toni-  
Oh, I'm sorry, have you heard better?

(3:19) -Toni-  
Keeping in mind I'm reading these out to other people.

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
Ok fine, I get it.

(3:21) -Toni-  
You're high maintenance, Bombshell.

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
You wouldn't want me any other way.

*

(4:23) -Toni-  
I miss you, babe, please come to me. I miss your smell and the way you fill me up.

(4:24) -Cheryl-  
I would like this to stop now.

(4:25) -Toni-  
Wow, you cracked easier than Phillips.

(4:27) -Cheryl-  
Are there still more?

(4:28) -Toni-  
Yes. He read out ten lines of our message, so I read out eleven.

(4:29) -Cheryl-  
Aren't you meant to be on clean up duty right now?

(4:30) -Toni-  
I'm living on the edge, Cheryl, nothing can tear me down from this high.

(4:31) -Cheryl-  
Except maybe your gang kicking you out?

(4:31) -Toni-  
Fiiiiiine. Goody goody. I'll talk to you in half an hour then.

(4:32) -Cheryl-  
I'm sure you can survive the wait.

*

[Answer: 9401****]

"Our second phone call for the day. People will think we're in love."

"Or that I'm contractually obliged."

"Don't deny our love, Cheryl. It hurts."

"It's better if we keep it a secret."

"I can't wait any more without your mouth all over me."

"...What?"

"Phillip's."

"Please, please, don't just slip that into conversation."

"Uncomfortable?"

"Turned on, until there was context."

"HOLY SHIT."

"Look what you've done."

"I'VE MADE A MIRACLE HAPPEN IS WHAT I'VE DONE."

"But then you ruined it."

"Damnit, Bombshell, you've got to give me warning. Jessssus Christ."

"Just as well, really, there are people everywhere here."

"Oh right. You're outside, aren't you?"

"Yes. And for once it's not raining."

"You sound miserable."

"Do you think you could come get me on your motorcycle? I won't even care if you can't legally drive it."

"Don't tempt me, Moony. I probably would if my arm was in working order."

"Argh, I forgot about that. How is it?"

"Annoying, mostly. I'm going to the hospital on Sunday to get the wires pulled out."

"Will your nose buzz red if they touch the edges?"

"I sure hope not. And before you ask, no, I don't have a wrench for an ankle either."

"This is truly disappointing news."

"We tried playing Operation drunk once."

"Of course you have."

"Sweetpea threw the game out the window because he kept touching the edges, and whenever he did Jug would laugh so hard that he cried."

"We were banned from playing the game in the ward because it scared the smaller children pre-op."

"I had a light hearted tale, and you just came swooping in with crying children."

"For some reason, most of my stories involve crying children."

"I hope you're not including me in that category."

"You are the number one crying child. The biggest wimp. The ultimate baby."

"Let's not get carried away."

"Is baby Toni going to cry?"

"Toni Topaz does not cry."

"Toni Topaz is a ragamuffin."

"Why don't you come over here and say that to my face."

"Happily, Queen of the Buskers!"

"Was that meant to be intimidating?"

"Yes. A little. Wasn't it?"

"Not even a little."

"You must have nerves of steel, Ms. Topaz. Most men tremble at my feet."

"Most men must not know you very well, then." 

"You're a china doll, Topaz."

"Pretty and smooth?"

"And hollow inside."

"Don't go telling people these things about me. It will ruin my street cred."

"How you managed to gain street cred in the first place astounds me."

"It's all in the punk. And the matching jackets with our gang name on it."

"Uh huh. Terrifying. What do you tell people when they ask how you broke your arm?"

"Jumping from tall buildings during a police chase."

"That's not punk, that's just illegal."

"After a protest? For new social order?"

"Getting more punk, I guess."

"I could always put a safety pin in my ear."

"Ouch."

"I've put worst shit in there."

"I... don't want to know."

"A bobby pin."

"I said I didn't want to know!"

"Am I intimidating yet?"

"No you're just really gross – ow!"

"Ow?"

"Lyon. Ow. Ok, she's hitting. Now there's someone who's intimidating."

"Just because she set a kitchen on fire..."

"And she could very well set me on fire. Can't risk it."

"Fine then, wouldn't want an immolated Bombshell. Talk to you later."

"Ta-Ta, TT."

"You and your T's, woman."

(Call Disconnected]

*

Thursday AM

(9:02) -Cheryl-  
Toni, it's happening, it's hiking day.

(9:02) -Toni-  
Hell yeah! Get that blood goin, Moony.

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm considering slitting the throats of one of these sheep, summoning the Dark Lord Satan, and asking him to take me to Hell.

(9:03) -Toni-  
A few things wrong with that scenario.

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
Do pray tell.

(9:04) -Toni-  
You would need to sacrifice a goat, for one. Goats are Satanic symbols.

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
Of course you know that.

(9:05) -Toni-  
And secondly, I thought you were already in Hell?

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
One of many, simply requesting a transfer. To a drier Hell, maybe.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Are you wearing running shoes?

(9:08) -Cheryl-  
Hiking boots. I'm not an amateur.

(9:08) -Toni-  
Neither option is very sexy.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
This isn't Wales' Next Top Model. My legs look like lollipops.

(9:10) -Toni-  
But I bet you look fierce.

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
I am fiercely angry.

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(9:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm fiercely angry.

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
FIERCELY ANGRY.

(9:12) -Toni-  
Woah, Bombshell, ok.

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Sorry. Reception is cutting out. I guess this is good bye.

(9:13) -Toni-  
How long is your hike?

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
Short route. Twenty minutes.

(9:15) -Toni-  
Are you fucking kidding me.

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
Byeeeee.

*

(10:33)-Cheryl-  
*1 Image Attached*

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/78/4c/15/784c155d3787098312b95271ba68dff1.jpg

(10:34) -Toni-  
Nice view.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
Yes. It can be nice here.

(10:36) -Toni-  
So I'm assuming the hiking didn't kill you, then.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
I survived, miraculously.

(10:38) -Toni-  
I'm sure it was a strain on your physical efforts.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Just remember that it was the thought of you drowning that kept me going.

(10:41) -Toni-  
We both know that's not what you were really thinking.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Not even in the slightest.

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
You flatter yourself.

(10:45) -Toni-  
I distinctly remember an incident yesterday...

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
That you hopelessly ruined with the reminder of Phillips?

(10:47) -Toni-  
One of the gravest mistakes of my life.

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
I have to get going. Our turn for the pool tournament.

(10:50) -Toni-  
Pool tournament?

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Lyon entered us. If we win, we get a trophy.

(10:52) -Toni-  
The mother of all prizes. You must win it.

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
I'm scared to lose.

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
Like I said, Lyon is intimidating.

(10:54) -Toni-  
Helpful hint: hit the white ball into the socket.

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
I know how to play pool, Toni. You can't fool me.

(10:55) -Toni-  
Worth a try. Good luck, then.

(10:56) -Cheryl-  
Thanks. See you.

*

Thursday PM

(1:23) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Phillips looks like he's going to have an aneurism.

(1:24) -Toni-  
I don't know if I should be happy or worried.

(1:24) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Worried that you committed manslaughter?

(1:25) -Toni-  
I've opened a door here, Fangs. I'm susceptible to payback.

(1:26) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Payback from Phillips? Don't worry about it, dude. If he were to get back at you it would so noticeable it would be laughable.

(1:51) -Toni-  
Noticeable like... being invited to the annual Phillips Poker Club, noticeable?

(1:52)-Fangs Fagorty-  
...Yes. Noticeable like that.

(1:53) -Toni-  
FUck. I fucked up.

(1:54) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Easy fix. Go to the party.

(1:55) -Toni-  
And be publically humiliated by a single, creepy man?

(1:56) -Fangs Fagorty-  
And publicly humiliate a single, creepy man before he can humiliate you.

(1:57) -Toni-  
I like where this is going...

(1:58) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I already have a few ideas.

(1:58) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Don't tell Kevin.

(1:59) -Toni-  
I won't. New Operation?

(2:00) -Fangs Fagorty-  
More like a mission. Mission Mischief.

(2:01) -Toni-  
Mission Mischief has been initiated.

(2:01) -Fangs Fagorty-  
May Phillips rest in peace.

*

(2:21) -Toni-  
I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear, daddy

(2:22) -Cheryl-  
How many more of these are there?

(2:23) -Toni-  
Four more.

(2:23) -Cheryl-  
Get another one out of the way, then.

(2:24) -Toni-  
Spank me harder, you dirty monkey.

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
If I were Phillips, I would retire.

(2:26) -Toni-  
He'll wish he had soon.

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
What else are you planning?

(2:28) -Toni-  
I got invited to his super exclusive, secret nerd club party tomorrow night with his family and friends.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
Maybe he's trying to make amends.

(2:29) -Toni-  
He's already asked me to join his elitist group. He never asks twice.

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
I'm definitely going to be visiting you in prison. Or in critical condition in a hospital bed because you can't let things go.

(2:31) -Toni-  
Ye have little faith.

(2:32) -Cheryl-  
Ye have little brain cells.

(2:33) -Toni-  
How's your pool tournament going?

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
We're coming second. Lyon is pleased, which makes me pleased.

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
Turns out I'm not that bad at pool.

(2:35) -Toni-  
You're full of surprises, Moony.

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Ok, we're up again.

(2:39) -Toni-  
I'd give you a good luck kiss, but you're sort of in another country.

(2:40) -Cheryl-  
Send it in the express mail then, I should get it by tomorrow.

(2:41) -Toni-  
Go win yourself a giant, glorified cup. Maybe when you get back, we can have a pool game of our own. The Whyte Whyrm's Billiards table is my home.

(2:42) -Cheryl-  
I will use it to drink the tears of your sad, sad pathetic loss then TT.

*

(3:01) -Toni-  
We need Pea in on this.

(3:02) -Juggy-  
Why? He's not even in our grade. 

(3:03) -Toni-  
Reasons. I have a role for him to play.

(3:03) -Fangs-  
Ok, but how do we get him in? I'm going with Kev.

(3:04) -Toni-  
I don't have a date.

(3:04) -Juggy-  
So?

(3:04) -Juggy-  
Oh. That could work.

(3:05) -Fangs-  
Tell him you have to pretend to be actually dating.

(3:06) -Toni-  
Why?

(3:06) -Fangs-  
See how far he goes.

(3:07) -Toni-  
You're evil. A case of beer says I can get him to kiss me.

(3:07) -Juggy-  
You're on. He's with Lodge now, so good luck with that. 

*

(3:23) -Toni-  
Sweetiepie! My buddy! My best friend in the whole world!

(3:24) -Sweets-  
The fuck do you want?

(3:25) -Toni-  
Will you go out with me?

(3:25) -Sweets-  
Are you practicing for Cheryl, or something?

(3:35) -Toni-  
No, Sweetpea, you're the only one for me.

(3:36) -Toni-  
I've longed for you.

(3:36) -Sweets-  
I thought you told me the Gay Agenda thing was a myth.

(3:37) -Toni-  
It is, I need you in Phillips' party tomorrow and the only way to get you in is as my date.

(3:38) -Sweets-  
Why do you need me at that crackbags party?

(3:39) -Toni-  
Because you do a perfect rendition of Teenage Dreams.

(3:40) -Sweets-  
I'm a fucking decoy?!

(3:41) -Sweets-  
Why am I always the decoy?!

(3:42) -Toni-  
You really go for it, bud. It's amazing to watch.

(3:43) -Sweets-  
Whatever. Fine. But I'm not wearing a dress this time.

(3:43) -Toni-  
What about the purple tie? I like the purple tie. We can co-ordinate outfits.

(3:45) -Sweets-  
What??

(3:45) -Toni-  
Phillips won't believe you're there as my date unless we actually look like we're dating.

(3:46) -Sweets-  
You're fucking kidding me, aren't you? This is a joke?

(3:47) -Toni-  
I never joke about Marauder business!

(3:48) -Sweets-  
It's just one trauma after another with you. Why can't you use Jug! 

(3:49) -Toni-  
I'll do your English homework for a week.

(3:50) -Sweets-  
Done. Deal. No take backs.

(3:50) -Toni-  
Wow, Pea, you're really easy. What about a whole argument about how you're with Lodge?

(3:51) -Sweets-  
Well, if I'm going to become a trophy wife...   
And Veronica is busy with her family business, or whatever, so I won't see her for a week.

(3:52) -Toni-  
Believe me, Pea, you would not be my first pick for a trophy wife.

(3:52) -Sweets-  
Fuck you, I look great in a bikini.

(3:52) -Toni-  
I know, Sweetpea. You make a point every summer of showing us.

*

[Answer 9401****]

"Hey there tiger."

"Go back to calling me Moonray or something."

"Moonpillow, how are you?"

"We won the pool tournament. Lyon is drinking Gatorade from the trophy cup."

"She knows how to party hard."

"You know how soccer players will pull their shirts over their heads and run around in circles?"

"Fangs does it every fucking week when we scrimmage."

"Yeah, they had to pull her down from the pool table."

"A truly monumental win then, huh?"

"She told me she's never won anything before."

"Really?"

"Mustn't be a lot of opportunity for her to compete in the first place, I think."

"Tell Lyon I say congratulations."

"I will. What are you doing?"

"Making preparations for tomorrow. It involves a dance number and some puppy spray so far."

"Puppy spray?"

"Chew stopper. You spray it on your clothes and stuff so your puppy will stop biting you. It tastes like shit, but it's not poisonous."

"Good, because we wouldn't want to kill anyone."

"Not in the middle of a good dance number led by Sweetpea."

"He doesn't strike me as the dancing type."

"You'd be surprised. The guy's hips don't lie, I'll tell ya that."

"Can you dance?"

"I'm too cool for dancing."

"You can do ballet, can't you?"

"Let's just say that for our first dance, Bombshell, I won't be the one treading on feet."

"You assume I can't dance."

"Yes."

"Bitch."

"Because I'm right?"

"Betty tried to teach me but... Well, it was painful for the both of us."

"I wish I could bring you to Phillips stupid party. Might make it bearable."

"With my terrible dancing?"

"I would kill to see your terrible dancing."

"You told me the puppy spray wasn't poisonous."

"If it would bring you here, I would kill them all."

"I'd have to fly over to talk you down."

"Whichever, I'm not fussy."

"I wish I could be there too. Or at least, anywhere that isn't here. And with you."

"Is it really that bad over there?"

"...No."

"Try to enjoy it, Bombshell. It'll make staying there easier."

"I guess. Yes, I know."

"Until then, we'll stick with phone calls. Like you're on a military mission, or something."

"I could wage a war with the sheep, if it makes it more believable."

"I'd like to see that. And you have to go all out in the camo and war paint."

"Dog tags?"

"God, yes."

"My nana even packed me binoculars."

"It was meant to be this way. She knew the Sheep Wars were approaching, and she was preparing you."

"She knew the Sheep Wars were coming, and decided to send me to Wales?! That's cold."

"She knew you could be a soldier."

"A shit soldier."

"They'll take anything. It's not like it's a popular war, what with all the farmers' protests."

"I'm considering switching sides. The farmers make compelling arguments."

"That's what the sheep want you to think!"

"Come to think about it, the sheep are quite cute."

"They've gotten to you. Oh my god they've – OH MY GOD."

"You're getting a bit dramatic now."

"HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST WHAT THE – OW, FANGS, WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Toni?"

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Jesus."

"What's happening? Is that a woman screaming?"

"No, that's Fangs with his knockers out. Ooooh my god, no. No, no, no."

"With his – what?"

"I just caught Keller and Fangs hooking up– arh, fuck. That's not something you want to see. Ever."

"Where?"

"In my trailer – on my bed!"

"You didn't knock?"

"Didn't knock? They shouldn't be hooking up on my bed in the first place!"

"Yes, ok, that is ..."

"Gross, it's gross. I want my eyes burned out. If Keller won't do it for me, Moony, I need you to do it."

"I'm not burning your eyes out."

"I don't see how else I can come to terms with this."

"You could always get payback. That's the kind of thing you do, right?"

"As much as I'd love to fly you over to fuck on Fangs' things– I just don't see how it'll be time efficient."

"That's not – oh, god, no. That's not what I meant."

"I'm just teasing."

"I know, but I have an actual idea. I have to go, but I'll text you the details. Just. Don't ask how I know."

"Know what?"

"You'll see. Bye, TT."

"Bye, Bombshell."

*

(9:21) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok, Toni, I washed your sheets, got your mattress laundered and washed the floors and walls, for no reason.

(9:22) -Toni-  
Good maid.

(9:23) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Will you stop avoiding me now?

(9:24) -Toni-  
I'm not avoiding you.

(9:25) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You are avoiding me. I haven't seen you since...

(9:27) -Toni-  
I walked in on you and Kevin hooking up?

(9:28) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yes.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Well, maybe I'm taking some time out to recuperate.

(9:30) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You're being a child, Toni.

(9:31) -Toni-  
Just. Did it have to be MY BED?

(9:32) -Fangs Fagorty-  
We didn't exactly plan it!

(9:33) -Toni-  
I hope you used protection, then.

(9:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Ok, when I said we didn't plan it...

(9:35) -Toni-  
Oh, so it was arranged, but then got moved TO MY BED?

(9:36) -Fangs Fagorty-  
IT JUST HAPPENED OK? WE DIDN'T MEAN TO PICK YOUR BED. 

(9:37) -Toni-  
Do you suddenly lose all concept of time and SPACE with your hand down Kevin's pants?

(9:38) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Yes.

(9:39) -Toni-  
You're fucking hopeless. Most people put a sock on the door, or something. EVEN IF YOUR TRAILER IS ONLY 10 FEET AWAY.

(9:40) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'll remember that for next time.

(9:40) -Fangs Fagorty/  
What have you been doing, then, if not avoiding me?

(9:41) -Toni-  
A little project with Cheryl.

(9:42) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I don't want to know.

(9:43) -Fangs Fagorty-  
TONI? WHAT IS THIS?

(9:44) -Toni-  
You said you didn't want to know.

(9:44) -Fangs Fagorty-  
iS THIS – OH MYGOD TONI   
YOURDFUCKING GROSS

(9:45) -Toni-  
Am I?

(9:46) -Fangs Fagorty-  
IS THIS YOUR FUCKING JIZZ ON MY BED? WHAT THE FCK?

(9:47) -Toni-  
Now you know how it feels.

(9:48) -Fangs Fagorty-  
OH YMGOD I ACCIDENTALLY PU T MY HAND IN IT JEEESUS CHRIST

(9:48) -Toni-  
You're being a child.

(9:49) -Fangs Fagorty-  
TONI YOU'RE A FUCKING ANIMAL YOU'RE DISGUSTING

(9:51) -Toni-  
Maybe next time you won't pick my bed? Or my trailer? In general?

(9:52) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'M SORRY I SHAGGED MY BOYFRIEND ON YOUR BED TONI TOPAZ NOW WILL YOU PLEASE COME CLEAN YOUR JIZZ OFF MY SHEETS YOU FUCKIN WEIRDO

(9:53) -Toni-  
Nah.

(9:53) -Fangs Fagorty-  
NAH?

(9:54) -Fangs Fagorty-  
THIS ISN'T OPTIONAL I CLEANED YOUR BED NOW YOU COME CLEAN MINE

(9:55) -Toni-  
I don't think I will. Not necessary.

(9:56) -Fangs Fagorty-  
This is beyond funny, Toni, this is really really gross.

(9:57) -Toni-  
It's funny on this end.

(9:58) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I'm going to strANGLE THAT END IF YOU DON'T COME HERE NOW

(9:59) -Toni-  
But I already came there

(10:00) -Fangs Fagorty-  
TONI

(10:00) -Toni-  
Ok, ok, I've had my fun. Relax, Fangsy, it's just flour and water.

(10:00) -Fangs Fagorty-  
What??

(10:01) -Toni-  
Boil flour and water together, let it cool, and ta da. Fake cum.

(10:01) -Fangs Fagorty-  
You made fake jizz just to get back at me.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Yes.

(10:03) -Fangs Fagorty-  
How the fuck do you know this stuff anyway??

(10:04) -Toni-  
Technically, Cheryl knows, but I'm not allowed to ask why.

(10:05) -Toni-  
You're a massive dick. A dickhead if you will.

(10:05) -Toni-  
Heh heh, I will NOT.

(10:06) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Oh, screw off. You know what I mean. You're an ass, and I'm suddenly very scared when you and Cheryl do meet up.

(10:06) -Toni-  
We will be an unstoppable force.

(10:07) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Now I have to clean my second set of sheets for the night.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Before you do that, can you come tuck me in? I think I'm ready to sleep.

(10:09) -Fangs Fagorty-  
I fucking hate you.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Good night, Fangsy!

*

Friday AM

(8:18) -Betty-  
Hey, Stranger.

(8:19) -Cheryl-  
Hi, Betts.

(8:19) -Betty-  
How are you doing over there in Wales?

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
Alright. How's the comfort of your own home?

(8:21) -Betty-  
Alright. It is lacking in best friends, though.

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
Same with Wales.

(8:23) -Betty-  
You've nearly got a week under your belt. That's got to be something.

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
It's felt like a month instead of a week.

(8:26) -Betty-  
Have you made any friends over there?

(8:27) -Cheryl-  
There's one girl here who seems to tolerate me.

(8:28) -Betty-  
People don't tolerate you, Cheryl, they like you. It’s called f r i e n d s h i p. Ever heard of it?

(8:28) -Cheryl-  
Haha, very funny. The girls I stay with don't seem to pay me any mind, though. I'm starting to feel that's a good thing.

(8:30) -Betty-  
Are they not nice?

(8:31) -Toni-  
I'm not sure. I overheard one of them tell their friend to 'stop being such a fag.'

(8:32) -Betty-  
Oh. Are you ok?

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
Like I said, they don't really pay attention to me. I'm fine.

(8:35) -Betty-  
How's Lover Girl?

(8:37) -Cheryl-  
I really wish you'd stop calling her that.

(8:37) -Betty-  
But then you'd stop getting all embarrassed and I can't have that.

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
Toni is fine.

(8:40) -Toni-  
Fine, or fiiiiiine.

(8:41) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Betty.

(8:43) -Betty-  
You never let me talk girls with you!

(8:43) -Cheryl-  
Because you get pervy about lesbians 

(8:45) -Betty-  
That's how the conversation is meant to go.

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
It's too early for you to be this intrusive.

(8:48) -Betty-  
One day you'll indulge me.

(8:50) -Cheryl-  
At least let me have breakfast first.

(8:52) -Betty-  
Oo, is it happening?!

(8:54) -Cheryl-  
There might be something I need your advice on.

(8:55) -Betty-  
Yes! I look forward to it.

(8:56) -Cheryl-  
You're too pleased.

(8:58) -Betty-  
Get eating, Blossom. We have things to discuss.

(8:59) -Cheryl-  
Oh, God.

*

(9:06) -Juggy-  
I've only got three fartbombs, but I think Sweetpea is hiding some.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Ugh, he would. He's also refusing to wear a glitter suit.

(9:08) -Fangs-  
I’ve got three. How did we get stuck with such an uncooperative friend?

(9:08) -Juggy-  
I don't know, but I want a refund.

(9:10) -Toni-  
I think his warranty is up. We've damaged him too much to return.

(9:10) -Juggy-  
Can't we upgrade?

(9:12) -Fangs-  
I can't afford an upgrade! Do you think I'm made of money?

(9:13) -Toni-  
What are you going to tell Kevin?

(9:14) -Fangs-  
I'm going to deny all involvement. Sorry, bud.

(9:16) -Toni-  
No problem. Hopefully Pea will pick up the slack.

(9:17) -Fangs-  
I'll leave the bombs on your bed.

(9:18) -Toni-  
Ok, but make sure it's just the bombs. No little surprises this time.

(9:19) -Fangs  
Fuck off.

*

(10:41) -Betty  
you've had breakfast by now, for sure

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
I have.

(10:44) -Betty-  
Come on, then. This was your idea.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
You can't laugh.

(10:48) -Betty-  
When have I ever?

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
Almost every time I have an embarrassing question.

(10:50) -Betty-  
Ok, if I do laugh then I won't tell you.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Ok.

(10:52) -Cheryl-  
Can you teach me how to flirt?

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
You're taking too long to respond.

(10:56) -Betty-  
I'm googling.

(10:57) -Cheryl-  
Googling??

(10:58) -Betty-  
Well, you can't exactly brush her shoulder and seductively suck on a straw, so I'm googling how to flirt through text.

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
So you weren't laughing?

(10:59) -Betty-  
I never said that.

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
You're a cruel person.

(11:02) -Betty-  
Ask her questions. Make them open-ended so they lead to conversation. This shows that you care about what she's up to and how her day has been.

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
... I already do that?

(11:06) -Betty-  
Ok. Hang on.

(11:08) -Betty-  
Tease her with light insults and allow her to insult you back (all in a good cute way). If she has a silly nickname, call her that.

(11:09) -Cheryl-  
Betts, this isn't helping.

(11:10) -Betty-  
I'm on WikiHow, Cheryl, it's fool proof.

(11:11) -Betty-  
I already do that stuff too.

(11:12) -Betty-  
Silly nickname?

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
TT

(11:14) -Betty-  
This is ridiculous. Ok.

(11:16) -Betty-  
Don't be so shy. Accept a compliment, and pay one back.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
That's the part I'm having trouble with.

(11:19) -Betty-  
Which part?

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
All of those parts!

(11:21) -Betty-  
She literally can't see you Cheryl, how is this hard for you??

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
I get stuck on what to say. What if I say the wrong thing?

(11:24) -Betty-  
Say what you're thinking, I'm sure it can't be wrong.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Already is

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(11:26) -Cheryl-  
I'm pretty sure it can be.

(11:27) -Betty-  
You have to have confidence.

(11:28) -Cheryl-  
Oh, and where am I going to pull that from?

(11:30) -Betty-  
Your ass, like the rest of us.

(11:30) -Betty-  
Ever heard of the phrase 'fake it until you make it'?

(11:31) -Betty-  
Just fake it, Cheryl. Fake it hardcore.

(11:34) -Cheryl-  
Your grand advise is to fake it?

(11:35) -Betty-  
Yes.

(11:37) -Cheryl-  
I really hope this works.

(11:38) -Betty-  
Make it work. You can do it.

(11:39) -Cheryl-  
I can do it.

(11:40)-Betty-  
Cheryl Blossom the Flirting Master.

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
Let's not go overboard.

(11:41) -Betty-  
Whatever. Go get 'em, tiger.

(11:42) -Cheryl-  
I told you to never say that again.

(11:42) -Betty-  
Shut up.

*

Friday MIDDAY

(12:42) -Toni-  
Congrats, Juggy! You just signed up for the decoration committee. You start at four thirty.

(12:43) -Juggy-  
Wait, what??

(12:44) -Toni-  
I need you to install some stuff for tonight.

(12:44) -Juggy-  
Why can't you do it????

(12:45) -Toni-  
I have a shift at the bar and then talking to Bombshell. I can't make it, I'm afraid.

(12:47) -Juggy-  
It's bad enough I'm giving up my Friday night for you, to spend with the other two bozos, but now I need to put up crepe paper too?

(12:49) -Toni-  
I would really appreciate it?

(12:50) -Juggy-  
You have to do my Chemistry homework, I already know you’re doing Sweetpea’s, too.

(12:51) -Toni-  
Fine, Jug. You're so high maintenance.

(12:52) -Juggy-  
Not as easy as your date, I’m afraid.

(12:52) - Sweets-   
Hey!

(12:53) -Toni-  
I need you to put up the balloons I've put in the fifth stall in the guys changeroom.

(12:55) -Juggy-  
What's in them?

(12:56) -Toni-  
Nothing deadly this time, you can touch them.

(12:57) -Toni-  
Oh, and give up your fartbombs, Sweetpea.

(12:58) -Sweets-  
I'm giving a lot to this Mission with little return.

(12:59) -Toni-  
I'll do your English History too.

(12:59) -Juggy-  
You don't even take English History!!

(1:00) -Toni-  
So? How hard can it be? Men wage war. People die. Women are screwed over, again. Yes?

(1:01) -Sweets-  
I guess. I haven't been paying attention.

(1:01) - Juggy-  
If you’re doing more of his shit, you’re doing my calculus too.

(1:02) -Toni-  
Fine, fine! Jesus, Just put the balloons up, please.

(1:04) -Sweets-  
Yeah, whatever.

*

(2:53) -Toni-  
Let's play a game.

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
I'm concerned.

(2:56) -Toni-  
I'm bored, come on.

(2:57) -Cheryl-  
Fine. What's the game?

(2:58) -Toni-  
Would You Rather.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
I hate these. I always want to pick neither, but apparently that's not allowed.

(3:00) -Toni-  
No, its not, and I will NOT tolerate it. You're also not allowed to pick 'both' or alter any answer. Straight up, option 1 or 2.

(3:00) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to regret this.

(3:01) -Toni-  
Easy one: Team Edward or Team Jacob.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
What the – how is that easy??

(3:02) -Toni-  
Come on, everyone knows their answer already.

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
Immediate death?

(3:03) -Toni-  
Did you read the books? Or see any movie?? You'd go Jacob, at least until the last book.

(3:03) -Toni-  
Plus, Jacob Black, you can't deny our connection. We both live in trailers. Both are badass and both have awesome hair

(3:04) -Cheryl-  
So I'm meant to pick him because you both have the same lifestyle?

(3:04) -Toni-  
Duh, Moony.

(3:04) -Cheryl-  
You're ridiculous. My turn.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
Flying or invisibility?

(3:05) -Toni-  
Flying. Shit, no invisibility. Could get away with so many pranks with that.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
But flying would be so cooooooool.

(3:06) -Toni-  
Nope. Invisibility. There. Ok.

(3:06) -Toni-  
Flying would be terrifying.

(3:07) -Toni-  
A flying motorcycle would be cool.

(3:07) -Cheryl-  
Only you would think of that. Go on.

(3:09) -Toni-  
Eat healthy or exercise regularly?

(3:10) -Cheryl-  
You're evil. Pure and utter evil.

(3:10) -Toni-  
Is it really that hard?

(3:11) -Cheryl-  
I don't like vegetables.

(3:12) -Toni-  
You get to pick what the healthy foods are.

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
Healthy food then.

(3:13) -Cheryl-  
Would you rather go on the Amazing Race or Survivor?

(3:14) -Toni-  
Oo, Amazing Race. That would be wicked! Travelling around the world, eating terrible shit and jumping off stuff. So fun.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
Sifting through foreign animal‘s shit...

(3:15) -Toni-  
Good times to be had. Be a vampire or a werewolf?

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
That's tricky. Neither look like fun.

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
Vampire is a twenty-four hour thing, though.

(3:17) -Toni-  
But it can be controlled, to a degree. Werewolves just go vicious without control.

(3:18) -Toni-  
Can't eat garlic bread if you're a vampire.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
Guess as a werewolf I can be kept in a cage for a night...

(3:19) -Cheryl-  
Werewolf. Begrudgingly.

(3:19) -Toni-  
They're so much more cooler, anyway.

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
If you say so.

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
Ok then: brains or brawn?

(3:21) -Toni-  
Clearly, Moony, I like my girls with a bit of muscle.

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Ha-ha. I meant for you. Would you rather be smart or strong?

(3:22) -Toni-  
Oh. Smart seems to be working for me.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
This is you being smart?

(3:23) -Toni-  
And this is you being a smart ass

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
I would choose brawn so I could punch the smugness off your face.

(3:24) -Toni-  
You're a very violent woman when provoked.

(3:24) -Cheryl-  
Just ask your question now.

(3:26) -Toni-  
Ok. Would you rather your first time be in a car or a bed?

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
I've been waiting for this kind of question.

(3:26) -Toni-  
Moony, we both knew where this game was going.

(3:28) -Cheryl-  
Car sounds very... Claustrophobic.

(3:28) -Cheryl-  
Do you even have a car? Or just your bike?

(3:29) -Toni-  
Are you saying your first time will be with me?

(3:30) -Cheryl-  
...Shit.

(3:30) -Toni-  
AW BOMBSHELL

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
Be quiet

(3:31) -Toni-  
This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe this. Why does this keep happening to me.

(3:32) -Toni-  
Don't fret, Moony.

(3:33) -Toni-  
I'm not a big fan of the car idea myself.

(3:34) -Cheryl-  
Ok then.

(3:34) -Cheryl-  
Would you rather us take it slowly or desperate and needy, while we are in this aforementioned bed.

(3:34) -Toni-  
Woah shit

(3:35) -Toni-  
Um

(3:36) -Toni-  
Hmmmmmm... Slowly. I'd take my time to learn every inch of you.

(3:36) -Toni-  
Make it last longer.

(3:37) -Cheryl-  
I feel like we've waited long enough.

(3:38) -Toni-  
Then a little more won't kill you.

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
It could. You never know.

(3:39) -Toni-  
Sounds like somebody wanted me to pick the 'desperate and needy' option.

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
I don't mind, just as long as it happens soon.

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
I have to get going, it's my turn to help make dinner. Imagine fifteen teenagers with varying degrees of physical abilities trying to make a meal for fifty people.

(3:42) -Toni-  
I'm imagining a lot of swearing and maybe some violence.

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
Also a few close calls with boiled water. Possibly not accidental.

(3:43) -Toni-  
Good luck. I hope you don't get boiled.

(3:44) -Cheryl-  
I'm not getting boiled.

(3:44) -Cheryl-  
I'm doing the boiling.

*

[Answer 9401****]

"Moonypup."

"Tone-Bone. How are 'preparations'?"

"Sweetpea and Jug are setting up as we speak."

"Not you? Isn't this your idea?"

"I have a Moony that needs talking to. How was dinner making?"

"No fatalities, but we are yet to eat the meal. We made it early."

"Right, right. What did you make?"

"Just vegetables and a slab of chicken."

"How nutritional."

"That's what the camp runners keep trying to tell us, but we're not so sure."

"Yeah, the brochure here promises a delicious three course choice for school functions. They're not lying, but I am yet to want a second course."

"What's Phillips serving tonight?"

"If I have my way, nothing anyone wants to eat."

"Your cruelty knows no bounds."

"No kidding. Sweets is coming as my date and he's convinced we have to actually be dating."

"I wonder what gave him that impression."

"Are you implying-"

"Yes."

"You're starting to know me too well."

"I know. It is truly horrifying."

"Do you have any plans tonight?"

"There's probably some group activity that I will be trying to avoid."

"You gotta get in there, Bombshell. Make some friends."

"I have friends. I will only have to stand these people for another week, so I don't see the point."

"Makes the week easier."

"We'll see. I get the feeling I'll have some extreme reprimanding to do tonight."

"I'll give you a live feed of it all."

"Excellent, I'm going to have a heart attack at seventeen."

"Maybe just some mild anxiety."

"I'm in a constant state of mild anxiety when talking to you."

"Because I'm so lush?"

"...Lush?"

"Yeah, come on, luscious."

"Oh. No, I meant more like, 'she’s capable of injuring herself far too easily, what will happen next,' kind of mild anxiety."

"You really know how to woo a girl.”

"I seemed to have managed with the skill set given."

"Even I don't know how you managed."

"We'll put it down to that concussion you got."

"Seems like the most logical explanation. You, on the other hand, have no excuse."

"A moment of weakness. It won't happen again."

"Of course it won't. I'm your one and only. You're going to lose your virginity to me, remember?"

"How did I know you would bring that up?"

"Bragging rights. It hasn't happened yet, but I like that I can brag about it already."

"Good God, you're embarrassing."

"Also means I have good blackmail material."

"There it is. The real reason."

"I live only to torment you."

"I'm beginning to see that. Is it too late to back out now?"

"Definitely. Yes. Don't you dare leave."

"I was only joking, TT. I’m not leaving."

"Well I have to."

"What?!"

"Oh god – sorry, that came out wrong. I have to get going. Sweets just messaged me saying he doesn't even own a suit, so we have to go scavenging before the party. I'm sorry, Cher."

"It's ok. As long as Sweetpea looks his best."

"I don't really know anyone else his size – we'll probably have to make the sleeves into a t shirt on Joaquins jacket. Damn. My date is going to looked awful."

"To the event you're planning on destroying? Don't think it matters that much."

"Appearances matter. Now, bringing you on the other hand..."

"Yeah, yeah. Go away now."

"I'll text you."

"I should hope so. Have fun, Toni."

"I plan to."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(8:32) -Toni-  
Let's get this party started.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
I have hot chocolate and chips. I'm ready.

(8:33) -Toni-  
Oh, do you have knitting needles too?

(8:33) -Toni-  
Maybe a fat cat on your lap?

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
I'll stab you in the eye with my knitting needles.

(8:36) -Toni-  
Sweetpea won't hold my hand :(

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
Is it because you're using it to text me?

(8:37) -Toni-  
Ah. Shit. Yes.

(8:37) -Cheryl-  
Doofus. What are you up to?

(8:39) -Toni-  
Casually spraying Chew Stopper on the platters. Ive yet to see Phillips, but my brother is here. He looks furious. I love it.

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
I don't know how to respond to that.

(8:40) -Toni-  
Don't, then. Jug is convincing Sweets to eat the cheese platter. I've already sprayed it.

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
Why is he still your friend?

(8:41) -Toni-  
You only ever hear the bad stuff. Get Sweets and Jugs drunk enough and they talks about how we're the best things in their lives

(8:42) -Cheryl-  
Can it really be that sincere when he's drunk?

(8:42) -Toni-  
Shush, it's the best we've got.

(8:43) -Toni-  
THE EAGLE IS IN THE NEST. I REPEAT: MAMA BIRD HAS BROUGHT THE WORMS.

(8:43) -Cheryl-  
What?

(8:44) -Toni-  
I’ve got eyes on Phillips. He's wearing a green suit, so last season.

(8:45) -Toni-  
But that's ok, because soon it will be red.

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
Oh, good lord. Can you at least wait until he tries something before you pull a Carrie?

(8:46) -Toni-  
toO LATE

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
TONI

(8:48) -Toni-  
It's all in place, Cheryl, can't back down now. Ok, gotta go, I'll text you later.

(8:48) -Toni-  
I hope you become red too.

*

(10:01) -Toni-  
It's time.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
For what? I fell asleep. Use small sentences.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Sweetpea dance. Sweetpea throw glitter. Sweetpea 'accidentally' burst balloons in dance number.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Sweetpea become collateral damage?

(10:04) -Toni-  
Sweetpea takes one for the team.

(10:05)-Toni-   
SWEETS IS KILLING IT. He's really good at Katy Perry on Karaoke.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
Katy Perry?

(10:06) -Toni-  
It's a hidden talent. Makes my Friday nights interesting.

(10:06) -Toni-  
WOAH HANG ON

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
I'm still half asleep, remain calm please.

(10:07) -Toni-  
Someone turned off the lights. This wasn't me. This is not my plan.

(10:07) -Toni-  
Theres smoke on the floor someone literally hired a smoke machine what the fuck

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
I said remain calm.

(10:08) -Toni-  
SOMEONE IS OUT-DOING MY PRANK, MOONY, I CAN'T REMAIN CALM.

(10:08) -Toni-  
There's – shit, there's things around my ankles.

(10:09) -Toni-  
Oh my god are they rats

(10:09) -Toni-  
PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING. THIS IS A DISASTER.

[Calling Cheryl]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

(10:10) -Toni-  
ARE YOU KIDDING ME THEY RELEASED BIRDS INTO THE ROOM

(10:11) -Toni-  
MOONY? I'M LITERALLY BEING ATTACKED BY PIGEONS RIGHT NOW.

[Calling Cheryl]

"Hi, this is Cheryl. I can't answer at the moment, clearly. Leave a message."

[Call Disconnected]

(10:14) -Toni-  
Bombshell, did you fall asleep?

(10:15) -Toni-  
Silly git.

(10:16) -Toni-  
I made it out alive, just so you know when you wake up.

(10:17) -Toni-  
I'll complain more tomorrow. When you're actually there to respond sarcastically. Because honestly, that's the best part.

(10:18) -Toni-  
Sleep tight, Bombshell. Sweet dreams.

*

Saturday MIDDAY

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry, Toni. They let me sleep in this morning. Bad idea.

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
I'm glad to hear you weren't ravaged by pigeons.

(12:14) -Toni-  
Morning, sunshine.

(12:14) -Toni-  
No, you're quite lucky I wasn't mauled to death by tiny winged rats.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
Why am I lucky?

(12:15) -Toni-  
Well for one, my perfect face would be all scratched up.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
A true tragedy.

(12:15) -Toni-  
And also if I was being attacked by fearsome creatures, and died, while texting you... you would be responsible. You would have let me die because you fell asleep when I needed you most.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
With all of my teleportation skills to save you in time.

(12:16) -Toni-  
I don't know how long you've been in Wales, Moony, but we have this funny thing here called the cops and emergency service. You can call them in case of emergency and everything.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
This is truly valuable information. I'm so glad I have you.

(12:17) -Toni-  
So, glad I wasn't killed by pigeons?

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
I have said that already, yes.

(12:18) -Toni-  
Just double checking. NOW HERE COMES THE BAD NEWS.

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
You couldn't fulfil your pranking heart because somebody did it better?

(12:19) -Toni-  
Did it better?! Moony!!

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry, did you have something better than wild pigeons at a party?

(12:21) -Toni-  
I was going to have Sweets do the Thriller.

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
That's weak.

(12:23) -Toni-  
Ok, but really, I had fake blood in balloons and ... you know what, it doesn't matter. That's not the problem here.

(12:23) -Cheryl-  
The problem, I am assuming, is that you have competition.

(12:24) -Toni-  
You're on spot, Cheryl! I need to find these mysterious pranksters and... eliminate them. Or train them. Take them under my wing.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
What if they're better than you?

(12:26) -Toni-  
How dare you even think those words.

(12:27) -Toni-  
And it wasn't even any of the other guys. I already asked.

(12:29) -Cheryl-  
Looks like you have a mystery to solve.

(12:31) -Toni-  
And I'll be damned if I can't find out who it is. Challenge accepted.

(12:33) -Cheryl-  
Is this going to become your new obsession?

(12:34) -Toni-  
Yes. Wait, I mean, what are you talking about? Obsessions? I don't have those.

(12:34) -Cheryl-  
You're a compulsive liar.

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
Well, I just wanted to check in and see if you were still alive. We're going into the town this afternoon and I don't know what reception will be like.

(12:36) -Toni-  
I'll wait for you.

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
I'll return to you soon, my love.

[Message Failed. Send Again]

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
I'll return to you soon.

(12:38) -Toni-  
Buy a ton of shit, Bombshell.

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
Thats the plan.

*

(4:24) -Cheryl-  
Good news and bad news.

(4:25) -Toni-  
Bad news first.

(4:26) -Cheryl-  
Some guy kicked a soccer ball at the phone and broke it. No one is sending or receiving phone calls.

(4:27) -Toni-  
Fuck.

(4:27) -Toni-  
Good news?

(4:29) -Cheryl-  
Oh, well, I bought some books today.

(4:30) -Toni-  
Such a nerd.

(4:31) -Cheryl-  
If luck is on our side, I might try to call you later on my phone. It looks like it's going to rain, though, so I don’t like our chances.

(4:32) -Toni-  
This doesn't sound good, Bombshell. I don't think I can go twenty-four hours without hearing your voice.

(4:33) -Cheryl-  
Use your imagination.

(4:34) -Toni-  
Oh, I do.

(4:35) -Cheryl-  
And with that, I am leaving. I'm on dish duty.

(4:36) -Toni-  
You leave me heartbroken, Bombshell.

(4:37) -Cheryl-  
It's what I like to do best.

*

[Calling Toni]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

[Calling Toni]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
I want to call you, but I can't.

[Calling Cheryl]

[Connection Failed. Call Again]

(10:13) -Toni-  
I can't get you either. Are you alright?

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
It's a Saturday night and I'm sharing a dorm with four other girls. They keep asking... questions.

(10:15) -Toni-  
Questions?

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
“Hey, Blossom, you ever blown a guy?"

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
You know how I like girls?

(10:17) -Toni-  
I got that vague impression of you, yeah.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Well, I've decided I no longer like girls.

(10:17) -Toni-  
I'll try and not get too offended.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Can you not tell them?

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
I don't know if it's safe. I don't know. I don't know.

(10:19) -Toni-  
It's ok, Bombshell, just ignore them. Or do what you do best and reply sarcastically.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
I have been for an hour and they won't stop.

(10:21) -Toni-  
I'm sure they'd stop once you did tell, maybe.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, and then get beaten to death. Some of these girls are... scary to say the least 

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
I have to stay with these people for another whole week. If they react badly to this...

(10:23) -Toni-  
Then you kick their asses like the badass you are!

(10:24) -Cheryl-  
I physically cannot do that, TT.

(10:25) -Toni-  
Report them to the camp officials or whatever they're called.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
And become the gay snitch? I can't. They won't do anything and I'll become an even bigger target.

(10:26) -Toni-  
You've got to stick up for yourself, Moony.

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
I can't, Toni, not when I'm out numbered like this! I'm sorry I can't have your bravado and just throw who I am at everyone without fear. I don't have you or my friends here to back me up if there are negative consequences. I get enough of that at home.

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
This has happened to me before. With people outside family. It's not good.

(10:31) -Toni-  
I'm sorry.

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
No, I'm sorry. I went a bit overboard there.

(10:32) -Toni-  
You're right. I'm sorry, Cheryl. I've never had to deal with this before, I guess. Have they left you alone?

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Hardly. I'm just waiting for them to get the message that I don't want to talk.

(10:34) -Toni-  
Do you want to talk to me?

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
Always.

[Calling Cheryl]

"It actually worked."

"I'm as surprised as you are."

"I'm too scared to move now. I'm on the bed."

"Are they there?"

"Yes. Looking... predatory."

"Let's not draw attention, then. You can call me 'mom' if you want."

"I'm having terrible flashbacks to my conversations with Phillips."

"Oh god – delete the text history on that phone before you give it back."

"No, I want you to read every last message so you can share my distress."

"Fangs sat on me and read out his conversations on Tuesday. It wasn't fun."

"I could make a suggestive joke here, but I don't want to be overheard."

"Bombshell, I would not oppose to being sat on by you."

"There it is. I'm glad one of us could make it."

"I will always be here to fill in for the dirty jokes."

"One of them has fallen asleep. It's a cue. The rest should follow soon."

"So they've stopped bothering you?"

"For the mean time, it seems. Thank you, TT."

“Of course. I'm sorry it had to be done in the first place."

"Me too. Me too."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll – ok, I'm being shushed. I guess I'll sleep too."

"Okay then. Good night, Cheryl."

"TT?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you... can you stay on the line? Until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah, of course. Do you want me to keep talking?"

"Ok."

"Alright, then. What can I talk about... I've still turned up zero suspects for the Mystery Pranksters. So nothing to talk about there. Um. I have a big plan tomorrow, but you'll hear all about it then. I wish you could be there for it, though. I pretty much wish you could be there for everything. And it's only been, what, nearly two months? How weird is that? Like, I remember a time before you. But it feels like that... not that you weren't there, just that you were missing from the memory. Like when Sweets got his position as line backer because he let Crouch throw the ball right into his... well, balls. And Fangs and I laughed so hard my sides hurt while Jug took pictures of him doubled over. But you, you were probably watching from the sidelines by me or something. Not in the memory, just missing, off the side. It sounds crazy. It's not even logical. I'm sure if you were awake you'd call me an idiot or something and roll your eyes. I imagine that you roll your eyes at me a lot. I hope I get to see it soon, though. I hope I get to see –"

[Call Disconnected]

*

Sunday PM

(1:25) -Toni-  
I may have made the best and worst decision of my life.

(1:26) -Cheryl-  
Is this the same decision?

(1:26) -Toni-  
Absolutely. Oh my god.

(1:27) -Cheryl-  
Are you going to make me guess?

(1:27) -Toni-  
I'll give you clues.

(1:27) -Cheryl-  
Ok then.

(1:28) -Toni-  
I'm lying on my back.

(1:28) -Cheryl-  
Massage parlor. Happy ending?

(1:29) -Toni-  
Ha-ha. Nope. It hurts.

(1:29) -Cheryl-  
Cupping. You're trying to watch your figure.

(1:29) -Toni-  
Rude and no. You're really bad at this.

(1:29) -Cheryl-  
You're not giving me a lot here.

(1:30) -Toni-  
Fine, I'll just tell you.

(1:30) -Toni-  
I'M GETTING A TATTOO.

(1:30) -Cheryl-  
WHAT

(1:30) -Toni-  
FUCK YES

(1:31) -Cheryl-  
HOW? AREN'T YOU UNDERAGED?

(1:31) -Toni-  
Moony, please. Do you really think I've gone this long without a fake ID? And anyhow one of the serpents are giving me one. Im 16 so I have to get the mark 

(1:32) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe this. Do you look over 18?

(1:32) -Toni-  
I must if people keep selling me shit

(1:32) -Cheryl-  
How did you – how are you paying for this?

(1:33) -Toni-  
Well. I might have...

(1:33) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god. You haven't sucked a dick for this tattoo have you?

(1:34) -Toni-  
No! I pick pocketed my brother last night and... Took his credit card. Which holds his precious, precious money.

(1:34) -Cheryl-  
You stole from your own brother.

(1:34) -Toni-  
Yep. I have no regrets.

(1:35) -Toni-  
Ok, I have some regrets. Tattoos hurt.

(1:36) -Cheryl-  
What are you getting?

(1:37) -Toni-  
It's a surprise. My arm got numbed so they could remove the wires and I thought I would take advantage of that numbness.

(1:38) -Cheryl-  
But you said it hurts?

(1:39) -Toni-  
Yeah.. it’s on my forearm. The numbing didn't last as long as I hoped. I was not prepared.

(1:40) -Cheryl-  
Idiot.

(1:41) -Toni-  
Jug thought it was hilarious. I wanted to hurt him, but alas I am pinned to a table by some burly Serpent I’ve never even noticed

(1:43) -Cheryl-  
Is he not there now?

(1:44) -Toni-  
Jug? He's gone to the game to take pictures. But I'll probably still be here when the game's over.

(1:45) -Cheryl-  
Always good to have an audience. How's your arm, then?

(1:46) -Toni-  
Oh, fine. Minus the metal wiring and pain from the needle. I won't be picking up good TV reception anymore, sadly.

(1:46) -Cheryl-  
That's a shame. How long until the cast is off?

(1:47) -Toni-  
Three or four weeks. Now. Whenever I want.

(1:48) -Cheryl-  
Don't try to play the badass and jeopardize your entire arm.

(1:48) -Toni-  
It's fiiiiiiine, I wanted the tattoo today. I’ll put the cast on after.

(1:49) -Cheryl-  
Ok then. Just tell me what it is.

(1:50) -Toni-  
No, Moony!! Surprise!!

(1:50) -Cheryl-  
You're not fair. Come on.

(1:52) -Toni-  
Nope. Not telling. You have to wait.

(1:53) -Cheryl-  
How long?

(1:54) -Toni-  
A few hours. There's a lot going on here.

(1:55) -Cheryl-  
Fine. I guess I'll wait.

(1:56) -Toni-  
Good Moony. I didn't get much sleep last night because I was so excited, so I'm gonna try that now.

(1:56) -Cheryl-  
Sleep well, little star.

(1:57) -Toni-  
See you soon, moon eyes.

*

[Answer: Fangs]

"Hello?"

"Hey, it worked. Toni said it might not. Anyway, I'm phoning on her behalf. Hello, Cheryl."

"Hello, Fangs. How did your game go?"

"We smashed them."

"I'm going to assume that's good."

"Haha, yeah dude, that's fucking sick."

"Glad to hear it."

"Oh, right, I had an actual message from Toni for you."

"Yes?"

"She says she's dying and she's leaving all her possessions to you."

"Excellent. I get all of his drug paraphernalia. Just what I wanted."

"I have no objections, but can I have the motorbike? I want to dismantle it and use its parts to upgrade mine."

"I have no objections."

“She’s shouting at me from the table. Apparently she doesn't like that idea."

“She’s a bit sensitive."

"No kidding. Shes threatening to kill me."

"That's adorable."

"She does sound like a crying kitten. Four hours without food will do that to you. At least she’s not as bad as Jug.”

"How much longer does she have?"

"To live or finish the tattoo?"

"Both."

"To live, she has about two hours left in her. Tattoo, I have no idea. I've told them to keep going once he dies."

"Can't have an unfinished tattoo after all that."

"Exactly. Shes not appreciating my jokes a lot, though."

"Tell him no one will think less of her if she backs out now."

"You want to lie to her? Because the Serpent would kill her.”

"If it makes the pain easier."

"Hey – Bombshell wants to know if you want her to hold your little baby hand – she says to go fuck myself."

"She must be high strung. Shes never been opposed to something like that before."

"HAHA, OH MY – oh, she's cranky. You talk to her.”

"Ok."

"Moooooooony."

"Does it really hurt that much?"

"No. It's just been so long. My shoulder is tender and then my arm is BEING STABBED BY LITTLE NEEDLES. My sleep didn't last long."

"You sound like a disgruntled toddler who got woken up from their nap."

"I did get woken up from my nap. By Fangs and Jughead. The inconsiderate pricks."

"Big meanie Fangs and scawy Jughead."

"Don't mock me. I'm in pain. I require cuddles and chocolate."

"You sound so extra right now."

"Moooooooony."

"I'm surprised that they haven't thrown you out for being a whine."

"I'm not whining."

"Yes, you are."

"Am not!"

"You're doing it again."

"Oh my god, Jug is taking pictures – nooooooo."

"Can I talk to Jughead?"

"Can you – uh, yeah, ok."

"What's up?"

"Is she crying?"

"No, but there are tears in her eyes."

"Make sure you get that in the pictures."

"Way ahead of you, buddy. Shes calling you a traitor, by the way."

"I expected as much. Nothing she hasn't shouted at me before."

"Something tells me it isn't even that bad."

"Oh, no, she's just being a drama queen."

"You got that right – ok, she's doing grabby hands. I'll hand you back."

"I can't believe you. You turned on me. Teaming up with BOTH my best friends?! I thought it was you and me forever."

"I like to change it up a little."

"I feel like I need to save my reputation by saying it's not actually that bad."

"Yes, we figured as much. You're just an attention seeker."

"How dare – actually, no, you're one hundred percent right."

"I'm surprised reception has lasted this long."

"Yeah, me too. When I was talking to you last night it cut off pretty quickly."

"I know."

"You – oh. Oh."

"Don't get all embarrassed now."

"You probably think I'm a weirdo or something."

"Not at all. I can understand what you mean. But I see it as... that this was inevitable. That's so cliché. Yours was better."

"Yours makes more sense, on some philosophical level."

"If you watch enough romance movies."

"Do you?"

"No! Maybe. Some."

"You're totally into them."

"Would it kill you to throw rocks at my window and sweep me away in the middle of a starlit night?"

"No boom box over my head?"

"You've already serenaded me. Let's leave it there."

"Roses clenched between my teeth?"

"And a box of chocolates. I deserve nothing less."

“Bombshell, I'd get you a helicopter and we'd have a picnic on Everest."

"Are your helicopter flying skills as good as your motorbike driving?"

"In terms of legality? Yes."

"It better be the best damned picnic I've ever had. It'll probably be my last."

"Probably, not going to lie. Oh, ok, I'm all done. I'll talk to you later, Moony! Thanks for the company."

"Bye, TT."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(8:12) -Toni-  
Are you ready for the reveal?

(8:13) -Cheryl-  
Definitely.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
Hurry up.

(8:16) -Toni-  
Impatient. Hold on, Fangs is shit at taking photos. Okay cool jugs is back from the bathroom

(8:16) -Cheryl--  
Did I mention that tattoos are really hot?

(8:17) -Toni-  
Oh my god, Bombshell.

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
Picture. Now.

(8:20)-Toni-  
*1 image attached*

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51hw0tBGJeL._SL1000_.jpg

(8:21) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god.

(8:22) -Toni-  
It's a Snake!!

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Wow. It's amazing.

(8:23)   
Thanks, Bombshell. Every Serpent gets the Serpent Symbol tattooed around my age, maybe even younger. Thought it was time.

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
That's incredible, Toni. I love it.

(8:25) -Toni-  
Hah, thanks Cheryl.

(8:26) -Toni-  
I'm exhausted.

(8:27) -Cheryl-  
Go sleep, then. Finally.

(8:29) -Toni-  
Yeah. I'll have to sleep on my left. Oh well. It's worth it, courtesy of my brother. 

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
That makes it all the better

(8:31) -Toni-  
It sure does. Good night, Cher.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
Good night, TT


	9. A Thousand Miles Seems Pretty Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweetpea is a lil sweet dummy  
> Also BUGHEAD FORESHADOWING WOOO  
> and they gettin a lil spicy idk man

Dearest Toni,

It is currently Wednesday afternoon while I write this. I hope it's ok that I'm writing this. There was a return address on the letter you sent me, and even though it was just the school, I hope by putting your name on it that it reaches you. If not, the stranger who is reading mail not addressed to them, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I hope Sheba is behaving. No, I hope you're behaving, and that you're not getting our goldfish entangled with your shenanigans. They are an innocent bystander to whatever childish play you're concocting over there. I hope I get my goldfish back in one piece. (And yes, I said mine. Because you gave them to me.)

My parents come home next Sunday, and I get back the next day. They'll be home in the evening, though, so if you could bring Sheba back on Sunday morning? If Molly isn't there, there's a spare key taped to the wind chime at the front door. Yes, the one with all the stars and planets circling the sun. My grandparents were new wave philosophers, or something. But I guess so were yours, Dog Star.

Wales is cold and miserable and I'm willing to bet that wherever you are it is not. This is very unfair.

I probably don't give this impression a lot, but I want to be wherever you are. Even if it were in Wales where it's cold and miserable. I'd follow you wherever you go.

That's probably not healthy, but I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Yes, I am aware my handwriting is very feminine despite my rough tone. Betty says she could probably use it as a Microsoft font. You're not allowed to agree. Archie thinks it's because I sound so formal I could be written into an Old English literature and no one would blink an eye. You can't agree on that either.

You've just defeated the terrible Phillips in the fortnight-long battle. I whine at you to be responsible but really he deserved much worse. I'm proud, TT.

I'm having too many thoughts and no thoughts at all currently, so I guess I'll conclude this letter. I had a spare afternoon and... well, I liked the letter you sent me. I may or may not keep it in my jean pocket. But I would never admit that. That would be sappy.

I lo Talk to you later, Toni. Or probably in five minutes. This is strange.

From Bombshell

*

Monday AM

(9:31) -Toni-  
I got your letter.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Oh dear, I'd forgotten about that.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Sheba OUR GOLDFISH is doing fine, by the way. The boys are pretty taken with them.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
I'm glad the boys have finally made a nice friend.

(9:33) -Toni-  
I am totally nice!

(9:33) -Toni-  
Ok, small lie.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Big white lie. How's your arm?

(9:34) -Toni-  
No, no, we have to dissect your letter.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
No, come on, Toni!

(9:35) -Toni-  
Did you honestly know that already or did you google my name?

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
What?

(9:36) -Toni-  
Dog Star.

(9:36) -Cheryl-  
Oh! Lyon told me. She's really into astrology.

(9:37) -Toni-  
And the handwriting...

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
No, really, how is your forearm?

(9:38) -Toni-  
I'm surprised you didn't dot your I's with hearts. You could definitely pass as one of those bitchy upper class Cheerleaders at Riverdale High

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
I'm sure it must be really sore.

(9:39) -Toni-  
Betty is right, you could use this as a font. Can I use it as a setting on my phone?

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
Maybe I'll ask Fangs to give you extra hard slaps on the arm.

(9:41) -Toni-  
This isn't fair, I can't conspire with Betty or Archie!

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
Which I am eternally grateful for. That force would be terrifying.

(9:41) -Toni-  
I don't know if I agree with her affiliations though.

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
Archie is better, I swear. He stopped being weird after Betty found out. And well, when you happened too.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Bc he knows I'll beat his ass?

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
That's very heterosexual and female dominant of you

(9:43) -Toni-  
BC HE KNOWS I'LL PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE?

(9:43)-Cheryl-  
I....yes. I might have mentioned it to him.

(9:44) -Toni-  
Woah, really?

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
Well this is embarrassing now.

(9:45) -Toni-  
MOONY WHAT DID YOU SAY OH MY GOD

(9:46) -Cheryl-  
I might have said that if he lies to Betty again, especially about me, then...

(9:47) -Toni-  
Go on.

(9:48) -Cheryl-  
No, I can't do it.

(9:49) -Toni-  
Moony!

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
You have to promise it won't be weird.

(9:51) -Toni-  
My God, Moony, what did you say?

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
I... Might have said that my badass biker girlfriend would gladly punch him in the face.

(9:52) -Toni-  
IS THAT ME

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
It sounded more intimidating than "my friend who I text all the time will punch you in the face." But yes, that's you. What other biker chick do I know?

(9:53) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
I hope I haven't made it weird now.

(9:54) -Toni-  
Of course not, Bombshell.

(9:54) -Cheryl-  
It's just we said we wouldn't go there until we met and I broke that rule.

(9:54) -Toni-  
I really, honestly don't mind.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry!

(9:55) -Toni-  
Moony! Stop! I. Actually like it. A lot.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Oh.

(9:56) -Toni-  
Did it work?

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Pardon?

(9:58) -Toni-  
Did it intimidate Archie?

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Oh, yes. Betty also filled in that you were probably in a gang and had a whole fleet of vigilantes ready.

(9:59) -Toni-  
Well I wouldn't put it like that

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
Are you sure? I distinctively remember you telling me you're in a gang and you just got a matching ink stain permanently embedded into your skin dedicating your life to them?

(10:00) -Toni-  
We're not a gang, with only me, Jug, Sweetpea and Fangs! We're... a group! We're a group of friends. A gang is when all of the Serpents are together. We just all happen to be in the same gang but, yknow, separately 

(10:00) -Cheryl-  
Ok sure, because that makes sense.

(10:00) -Toni-  
A group of friends who happen to have a collective name.

(10:01) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry, what?

(10:02) -Toni-  
Haven't I mentioned this?

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Mentioned what?

(10:03) -Toni-  
In grade like, 5, Jugs, Fangs, Pea and I decided that we needed to leave a mark on the school like the Serpents were doing with the town. So we had to have a name for ourselves, besides the Serpents, clearly.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
You're... you have a second gang?

(10:05) -Toni-  
It's not a gang!! Come on, Moony. We didn't make you go through any weird initiations now did we? Like playing stripper for a night or getting the crap collectively beaten out of you by each Serpent?

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
What? 

(10:07) -Toni-  
You're one of us, Cheryl, come on. I'd never let you risk your life being apart of the Serpents.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
I'm... What, exactly, then?

(10:09) -Toni-  
You're a Marauder.

(10:15) -Toni-  
Cher?

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
I'm taking a moment.

(10:16) -Toni-  
What's wrong?

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
This sounds like a thing you have with your friends.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Are you not my friend?

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
But, I mean. The boys are your friends and that's your friend group... since you were literally born.

(10:18) -Toni-  
And now you're in that friend group too. Just a little later on in life. 

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Don't they mind?

(10:19) -Toni-  
Of course not! Don't be ridiculous, Bombshell. Fangs loves you! Jugs would probably walk me down the aisle, and Pea is... quite in love with your fish. They like you.

(10:20) -Toni-  
I like you.

(10:20) -Toni-  
Please say you'll be in our totally-not-a-gang gang?

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
TT, I would love to be in your totally-not-a-gang gang.

(10:21) -Toni-  
It makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside to hear you say that, Moony.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
It makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside to be in your gang, Toni.

(10:23) -Toni-  
It's not a gang.

(10:23) -Cheryl-  
It is a gang. And you are now launching a gang war with the new mystery pranksters. Like the Serpents and... what was it? Ghosts? Gremlins?

(10:24) -Toni-  
Ghoulies. And I have a list of possible suspects but Fangs doesn't want to hear about it. He's high strung on the game this weekend.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Important?

(10:25) -Toni-  
It decides who will be in the final against the fucking Northsiders. 

(10:26) -Cheryl-  
Are you cheering this week?

(10:26) -Toni-  
You bet, Moony!

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Toni!!

(10:28) -Toni-  
What?

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
Your arm!

(10:30) -Toni-  
You worry toooo much. I'll be fine.

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
No, Fangs will have to call me to tell me you're in hospital. Again.

(10:32) -Toni-  
It happens one time so now it's a thing?

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(10:33) -Toni-  
I promise I will be careful. Theres only a few times the flyers are doing anything, anyhow. And I can lift my arm so I'll be good.

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Better be.

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
I must now partake in the compulsory team building exercises now. God, end me now.

(10:35) -Toni-  
Go team.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
They've been building a hut out of sticks for half an hour now and the camp runners have only just realized I'm not helping.

(10:37) -Toni-  
And why aren't you helping, Moony?

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
Lyon has got a good hold on it. I also don't want her to yell at me.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
OK SHE'S YELLING AT ME ANYWAY. I'll talk to you later, Toni.

(10:39) -Toni-  
Cya, Moony.

(10:39) - Cheryl-  
Oh, and Toni?

(10:39) - Toni-  
Mm?

(10:40) - Cheryl-  
Do I get a cool leather jacket too, now?

(10:40) - Toni-  
I'll make it red to match your hair, Bombshell. 

*

Monday PM

(5:23) -Cheryl-  
I miss our phone calls.

(5:24) -Toni-  
Me too. I was half way through my shift at the bar when I realized I didn't have that to look forward to.

(5:25) -Cheryl-  
I miss you.

(5:26) -Toni-  
I miss you too, Bombshell. You'll be home soon.

(5:27) -Cheryl-  
Not soon enough.

(5:28) -Toni-  
Next Monday, right?

(5:29) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(5:29) -Toni-  
Six more days.

(5:30) -Cheryl-  
Six more days.

(5:31) -Cheryl-  
I haven't wanted to mention it before, but...

(5:32) -Cheryl-  
I mean, considering what happened last time, I didn't think I should

(5:33) -Cheryl-  
I. Fuck. I can't think of the words.

(5:34) -Toni-  
I want to see you, Bombshell.

(5:34) -Toni-  
I want to see you too. Preferably as soon as possible.

(5:35) -Toni-  
Six more days. And then we'll see when we can make it happen

(5:37) -Cheryl-  
Ok. We can do that. That's good.

(5:38) -Cheryl-  
I miss you.

(5:38) -Toni-  
I miss you too.

*

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

(9:57) -Toni-  
Good night, Bombshell.

*

Tuesday AM

(10:01) -Cheryl-  
You never did tell me how your arm is.

(10:02) -Toni-  
It's swollen. I look like a junkie.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Do you have a tent to hide out in from the cops?

(10:03) -Toni-  
Unfortunately not. Maybe you can make me one out of sticks.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Haha. Funny.

(10:05) -Toni-  
My brother has written to me about the whole bill thing, though.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
Written to you? Does he not have your number?

(10:07) -Toni-  
The whole reason why I got a new phone was so he couldn't contact me.

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Oh.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Yeah. The Jones' got it for me as a belated Christmas present.

(10:09) -Toni-  
So I guess you could thank shitty families for us meeting.

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
I think I'm going to thank the Jones'. Or your clumsy fingers.

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
I'm not going to thank your brother for anything. Besides giving you the one up of being the more attractive sibling, I guess.

(10:11) -Toni-  
Being ugly was the best thing he ever did, for sure.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
So what did he say about the bill?

(10:12) -Toni-  
He said Ill be paying him back, but I'm going to ignore it. He can't prove it was me. I can't be tattooed. I'm underage, after all.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Ah, the tricky technicality. Doesn't he know about the serpents?

(10:13) -Toni-  
Yeah, but he just thinks we're all slumming it, so that none of us would have any skills. I'm surprised you're not chastising me for dishonesty.

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
I feel like it's the least he owes you.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
You know how you said that uh.. My parents didn't deserve me?

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
Your brother never deserved you.

(10:15) -Toni-  
Aw, Bombshell.

(10:15) -Toni-  
That's kind of you to say so.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Kind of me? It's the truth, TT.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Ok, if you say so.

(10:17) -Toni-  
I can't text, McGregor is watching me like a hawk. Like I'm supposed to learn anything in Math, anyway.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Oh, ok. Bye, Toni.

*

(11:21) -Cheryl-  
Can you tell me what I did wrong? It's referencing his brother.

(11:21)-Cheryl-  
*1 screenshot attached*

(11:22) -Archie-  
What do you mean? The girl had to leave.

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
She's been known to be caught rather than stop texting.

(11:24) -Betty-  
You're being paranoid, Cher.

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
I don't like the idea that I upset her! What if I do it again?

(11:25) -Archie-  
Cheryl, for crying out loud, you haven't done anything.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Her answer was very abrupt.

(11:26) -Betty-  
God, it's like you're having your pre-teen crisis late.

(11:26) -Cheryl-  
My pre-teen crisis involved an oxygen tank, I have a lot to catch up on.

(11:27) -Archie-  
You're meant to be the empathetic one, Cherry.

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
You know I can only solve other people's problems. Come on, guys, help.

(11:28) -Archie-  
Look, maybe her family is a sore spot for her.

(11:28) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I know that already.

(11:29) -Archie-  
Then don't push it.

(11:29) -Cheryl-  
Really?

(11:30) -Archie-  
Really. Sometimes it's better for girls if I let them tell me they're fine.

(11:31) -Cheryl-  
But is that short term or long term?

(11:32) -Archie-  
Short term. If it gets bad, she'll come to you

(11:32) -Betty-  
Cher, she'll tell you when she needs to.

(11:33) -Cheryl-  
I hope that's true.

(11:35) -Betty-  
When am I ever wrong?

(11:36) -Cheryl-  
Ha.

(11:37) -Betty-  
No, tell me. When have I ever been wrong?

(11:38) -Cheryl-  
Betty.

(11:39) -Betty-  
I want to hear you say it.

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
Betty, you have never been wrong.

(11:41) -Betty-  
Exactly. Remember that.

(11:41) - Archie-  
Hey! What about me?

(11:41) -Betty-  
Shut up Archie. And never question me again. Either of you.

*

Tuesday PM

(2:42) -Toni-  
You know how you say that we're really mean to Sweetpea?

(2:42) -Cheryl-  
Because you are, yes.

(2:43) -Toni-  
Well he has taken to giving me full arm handshakes. A lot. Like, unnecessarily a lot.

(2:44) -Cheryl-  
Years worth of payback?

(2:45) -Toni-  
I can't believe you're on his side, Moony. The betrayal.

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
I always root for the underdog.

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
I'm actually feeling very empathetic for Sweetpea right now.

(2:47) -Toni-  
Lyon find your diary?

(2:48) -Cheryl-  
No.

(2:48) -Toni-  
Ah, so you hid it well, then?

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
No – that's not what I meant. I don't have a diary.

(2:49) -Toni-  
You don't have 'Mrs Cheryl Topaz' scribbled in a notebook surrounded by hearts?

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
No, I put that in my scrapbook along with a lock of your hair.

(2:51) -Toni-  
I could send you over some fingernail clippings too, if you'd like.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
I would greatly appreciate it. It would make a nice border for your page dedication.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Lyon volunteered me to help organize a party. You know, like what you did to Jughead and Sweetpea last week?

(2:53) -Toni-  
Do you want their numbers? They can give you tips on how to sticky tape crepe paper. Or blow up balloons.

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I'm sure I of all people will be given the task of blowing up balloons.

(2:55) -Toni-  
Haha – sorry, Moony. Forgot.

(2:56) -Cheryl-  
It's ok. I just help pin things to walls a few hours before it starts, I guess. I wasn't even planning on going, but now I'm decorating it.

(2:57) -Toni-  
Moony, you'd be the life of the party!

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
You're so funny.

(2:59) -Toni-  
I bet you stand in the corner and shit talk everyone.

(3:01) -Cheryl-  
I absolutely do not!

(3:01) -Toni-  
Are you lying to me?

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
I don't shit talk. I just... Make very bitter remarks.

(3:02) -Toni-  
About people.

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
Betty is usually the one that starts it.

(3:04) -Toni-  
You seem to blame a lot of things on Betty

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
She gets to be my scapegoat until the two of you actually meet.

(3:05) -Toni-  
And then when we do I'll tell her all the horrible things you've said about her.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
You wouldn't! Absolutely not!

(3:06) -Cheryl-  
You'd have mercy, wouldn't you?

(3:06) -Toni-  
I don't know... It's very tempting...

(3:07) -Cheryl-  
Resist the temptation. Or I'll rally the boys into a resistance.

(3:08) -Toni-  
I'm sure I can keep my mouth shut for a little while...

(3:09) -Cheryl-  
Mm.

(3:10) -Toni-  
I want to try and call you tonight. If that's ok.

(3:11) -Cheryl-  
Of course. I wish you the best of luck in it.

(3:12) -Toni-  
I'm giving up a virgin sacrifice for reception.

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
There's no point in the phone call if you sacrifice yourself, TT.

(3:13) -Toni-  
But you're the one I choose to hear my dying words!

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
And what dying words I'm sure they'll be.

(3:14) -Toni-  
"T-tell... Jughead... he's a... dick."

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
"Toni said you are the best dick she's ever known. She'll miss that the most."

(3:15) -Toni-  
Ew, okay, no! Ass.

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
"Toni said I was the best ass she's ever known. She'll miss that the most."

(3:17) -Toni-  
Hm, can't complain with that one.

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
I knew you wouldn't.

(3:18) -Toni  
I'll hopefully talk to you tonight.

(3:19) -Cheryl-  
I'll anticipate it eagerly.

*

[Calling Cheryl]

[Call Failed. Try Again]

[Calling Cheryl]

[Call Failed. Try Again]

(9:01) -Toni-  
It's not working.

[Calling Toni]

[Call Failed. Try Again]

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
Nor I.

(9:05) -Toni-  
Ah, damn

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
Is everything alright?

(9:06) -Toni-  
Yes.

(9:06) -Toni-  
No.

(9:06) -Toni-  
I don't know.

(9:07) -Toni-  
It just... would be nice to hear your voice.

[Calling Toni]

[Call Failed. Try Again]

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
Your virgin sacrifice didn't work.

(9:10) -Toni-  
Fuck.

(9:11) -Cheryl-  
Hang tight for a moment. I have an idea.

(9:11) -Toni-  
Ok.

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
[Accept Audio File from Cheryl]

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
Did it work?

(9:21) -Toni-  
Shush, I'm listening.

"Ahem, ok. Hello, Toni. Somehow this is stranger than actually talking to you. I suddenly don't know what to say, but your wish is my command. Here is my voice. I hope you're ok. And if not, I hope this makes you feel even the slightest bit better. I'm not going to start theorizing what is wrong, and I'm not going to ask either, but I want you to know that whatever is wrong you can talk to me about. I'm still, unfortunately, not a psychologist, but I will listen and help you in whatever way I can, in whatever way you want. Well, within reason. I'm not going to kill someone for you, for instance. Sorry. Unless they deserve it. Great, now I sound like you. Ok, I pray that this sends successfully, and that I can call you in the near future. Preferably very near future. In the present, maybe. Alright. Bye, TT."

(9:25) -Toni-  
Thank you, Bombshell. That was... thank you.

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
You're welcome, TT.

(9:27) -Toni-  
I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day.

(9:27) -Cheryl-  
Alright. Sleep well, Toni.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Yeah, you too, Bombshell.

*

Wednesday AM

(9:01) -Fangs-  
I'm tired. Aren't you tired, Jugs?

(9:02) -Juggy-  
I'm pretty damned tired.

(9:02) -Fangs-  
And why are you tired, Juggy?

(9:03) -Juggy-  
Oh, just the usual.

(9:03) -Fangs-  
Yeah, I understand that.

(9:04) -Fangs-  
Just that someone...

(9:04) -Juggy-  
Someone we will not name...

(9:04) -Juggy-  
DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TURN HIS FUCKING VOLUME DOWN

(9:05) -Fangs-  
WHEN LISTENING TO MUSIC AND APPARENTLY AUDIO BOOKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

(9:06) -Toni-  
Audio books?

(9:06) -Toni-  
Also, fuck you two.

(9:07) -Sweets-  
Idk what it was, but there was no music to it. Just a voice.

(9:07) -Toni-  
Oh, right. I couldn't sleep.

(9:08) -Juggy-  
Well thanks to you, neither could we!

(9:09) -Toni-  
Jug you could sleep (or eat) through the Apocalypse, I don't know what you're on about.

(9:10) -Sweets-  
The Apocalypse hasn't got shit on your emo music.

(9:11) -Toni-  
My Chemical Romance is not emo.

(9:12) -Juggy-  
Did those words just honestly come out of your mouth?

(9:12) -Toni-  
No Jug, I'm doing this funny thing called texting

(9:12) -Toni-  
But yes, I'm willing to admit I'm wrong. It's so emo.

(9:13) -Juggy-  
So fucking emo and so fucking loud.

(9:13) -Toni-  
I'm sorry!!

(9:14) -Sweets-  
Toni, you don't have to wallow in self-pity.

(9:14) -Fangs-  
(That's not the term we agreed on, Pea!!)

(9:14) -Toni-  
Self-pity?

(9:15) -Juggy-  
Sorry, he means... depressive state.

(9:15) -Fangs-  
(That's also not the term we agreed on.)

(9:15) -Toni-  
Depressive state?!

(9:16) -Fangs-  
You were... down, yesterday. We want to remind you that we're here for you

(9:16) - Sweets-  
Yeah you were so fucking depressed dude

(9:16) - Fangs-  
Jesus, Sweetpea, be a little more blunt why don't you!

(9:17) - Sweets-  
Sorry. But it's true.

(9:17) -Sweets-  
We know your family puts you in the shits and that letter from Malachai yesterday wasn't exactly a 'I miss you' type of thing.

(9:17) -Juggy-  
Pea, you're so fucking good at this.

(9:17) -Sweets-  
...I am?

(9:17) -Juggy-  
No, you're as gentle as a brick to teeth. Jesus.

(9:18) -Toni-  
It's fine. He's right.

(9:18) -Fangs-  
How are you today?

(9:19) -Toni-  
Not at the highest point, not at the lowest.

(9:20) -Juggy-  
What can we do, T?

(9:21) -Toni-  
Nothing, I'll deal with it myself.

(9:21) -Juggy-  
Toni, if you're not going to talk to us, at least talk to Cheryl.

(9:22) -Toni-  
I don't need to talk about anything to anyone! I told you, I'll be fine. Leave it.

(9:23) -Fangs-  
We think it'd be good for you to talk about it!

(9:30) -Fangs-  
Toni?

(9:35) -Sweets-  
Please don't give us the silent treatment.

(9:40) -Juggy-  
We know you're really not that interested in the Tennis Court Oath.

(9:42) -Sweets-  
We'll talk to you at break, Toni.

*

(11:09) -Toni-  
S'mae!

(11:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm waiting for you to correct whatever spelling mistake that is.

(11:12) -Toni-  
How dare you, Moony! It's Welsh. It means hello.

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
You're going to start talking to me in Welsh now? That's like rubbing salt into wounds.

(11:14) -Toni-  
You have a paper cut, Bombshell.

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
It still bleeds.

(11:18) -Toni-  
I wanted to thank you again for the thing you did.

(11:19) -Cheryl-  
It was no problem. Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?

(11:20) -Toni-  
No and everyone needs to stop asking.

(11:21) -Cheryl-  
Ok, I'm sorry.

(11:22) -Toni-  
It's not your fault. I'm – let's talk about something else.

(11:23) -Cheryl-  
Ok. I did archery this morning.

(11:24) -Toni-  
Like Katniss Everdeen archery?

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Uh, well, not quite. I mean, I didn't shoot a teenager if that's what you're asking.

(11:26) -Toni-  
You wouldn't survive the Hunger Games, Bombshell.

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
Thank you for the confidence!!

(11:28) -Toni-  
You're too gentle! You'd believe someone if they told you they wouldn't kill you and then wonder why you're bleeding in the stomach.

(11:28) -Cheryl-  
But you'd avenge me, right?

(11:29) -Toni-  
Oh, sure.

(11:30) -Cheryl-  
Your answer was too nonchalant there. I want a redo.

(11:30) -Toni-  
OF COURSE I'D AVENGE YOUR DEATH MY DEAR SWEET MOONY.

(11:31) -Cheryl-  
That's much better. Thank you.

(11:32) -Toni-  
Were you any good?

(11:32) -Cheryl-  
At the archery? Surprisingly so, yes. I hit every target in the bullseye. And, by the way, I’m not as gentle as you’d think. 

(11:33) -Toni-  
Mm, I see. So you think you could kill someone?

(11:34) -Cheryl-  
If they messed with you or my loved ones, sure.  
Archery is a cool skill to have.

(11:35) -Toni-  
It is, you really lucked out.

(11:36) -Cheryl-  
Very handy for impaling people.

(11:36) -Toni-  
You ARE pretty violent, aren't you?

(11:37) -Cheryl-  
Passive-aggressive.

(11:38) -Toni-  
I bet Lyon was good at it.

(11:39) -Cheryl-  
The girl who sets kitchens on fire, and you think she would be good at archery?

(11:39) -Toni-  
She was great at it, wasn't she?

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
She was. Besides cooking, she's pretty good at everything.

(11:41) -Toni-  
Hm. Cool, whatever. Crushing, are we?

(11:41)-Cheryl-  
Jealous, are we?

(11:42) -Toni-  
Maybe. So, crush or what? Just tell me.

(11:42) - Cheryl-  
Feisty. And no, theres only room in my heart for one.

(11:42) - Toni-  
Well... good. So besides Archery, do you have any other skills? Or is reading your only other claim to fame?

(11:42) -Cheryl-  
No, no, I am also good at pool.

(11:42) -Toni-  
And avoiding conversation points.

(11:43) -Cheryl-  
I learned that from you.

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
Shit, I'm sorry.

(11:50) -Toni-  
No, Moony it's fine, I was hiding my phone from Phillips. But you're not wrong.

(11:53) -Cheryl-  
Still a terrible thing to say.

(11:55) -Toni-  
I'm not holding it against you Mooneyes, chill.

(11:57) -Cheryl-  
Mooneyes? Really?

(11:58) -Toni-  
Mooncheeks?

(11:58) -Cheryl-  
Jesus.

(11:59) -Toni-  
Lunch time. I have to go avoid more conversation points now. Cya, Deadeye.

(11:59) -Cheryl-  
Until later, TT.

*

Wednesday MIDDAY

(12:53) -Juggy-  
Toni, where are you?

(12:55) -Fangs-  
I won't try to talk to you. We just want to know where you are.

(12:56) -Sweets-  
T?

*

(12:54) -Fangs-  
We'll cover for you in class but please don't do anything stupid

(12:56) -Sweets-  
Yeah, lighting shit on fire and breaking shit would be considered stupid

(12:57) -Juggy-  
Toni??

*

Wednesday PM

(3:21) -Fangs-  
Ah, Cheryl?

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Fangs?

(3:22) -Fangs-  
Hi, just wondering if you've heard from Toni?

(3:24) -Cheryl-  
Not since about twelve. Why? Is she.. has she run off?

(3:25) -Fangs-  
It was more like a storm-off. How much do you already know?

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
I've assumed family thing, since her brother wrote to her the other day.

(3:27) -Fangs-  
Yeah. A lot of her cousins go here, so they're kinda unavoidable. They're also fucking pricks. Her brother included, he doesn’t go here, he’s just a dickhead.

(3:29) -Cheryl-  
What happened?

(3:30) -Fangs-  
Words were said in the Caf and now we can't find her. She’s not in her usual spots but her bike is still here.

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
So she can't be far.

(3:32) -Fangs-  
No, not far at all. But she won't answer us.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
And you think she'd answer me? Shes already been a bit short about it with me.

(3:34) -Fangs-  
You talked her down from Phillips’ car that time. Honestly, Cheryl, that was a fucking miracle. Shes broken school windows before, and much worse. Beyond the gang.

(3:34) -Cheryl-  
I'll try, I guess.

(3:35) -Cheryl-  
Is there something I should avoid??

(3:36) -Fangs-  
Don't mention Malachai. Not unless she mentions her first.

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
That's her brother, right? Wait...

(3:38) -Fangs-  
Right. And yeah, he’s leader of the Ghoulies.

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
Ok, wow, yeah. Got it.

(3:40) -Fangs-  
Good luck, Bombshell.

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
Thanks, Fangs. I'll let you know if I can get to her.

(3:42) -Fangs-  
Thanks, from all of us.

*

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
We don't have to talk about it.

(3:46) -Toni-  
Did Drew text you

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
You've never used his real name with me before, you know.

(3:47) -Toni-  
Preserving privacy, not that he's done the same for me.

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
Are you in a safe place?

(3:49) -Toni-  
Yes I'm fucking safe whatever that means

(3:50) -Cheryl-  
It means we want to know you're not in danger.

(3:50) -Toni-  
Oh of what, myself???

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
Maybe, yes.

(3:52) -Toni-  
I'm fine, I just need to be left alone.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
My understanding is that you've been left alone for a few hours now.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
And you're still just as angry.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
So this is obviously not working.

(3:54) -Toni-  
Obviously

(3:54) -Cheryl-  
Obviously you know that

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
Toni, please let someone help you.

(3:55) -Toni-  
HELP ME there is nothing to be helped I'm a disgraced fuck up and nothing will fix that not even you Bombshell.

(3:55) -Toni-  
I have to go to the bar.

(3:55) -Toni-  
if Drew, Cole or Jordan ambush me im personally blaming you

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Understood

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Just... please talk to me. When you're ready.

*

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
Shes ok.

(3:55) -Fangs-  
Where is she??

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
You don't kick a hornet's nest. I know where she is and she's fine. Kind of. Not really, actually.

(3:56) -Fangs-  
Well, no, I didn't expect her to be.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
Tell me if she goes back to the trailers.

(3:58) -Fangs-  
Ok. Thanks, Cheryl. Really.

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
I didn't get to do much.

(3:59) -Fangs-  
But she actually replied to you. That's enough.

(4:00) -Cheryl-  
If you say so.

*

[Calling Toni]

"..."

"I know I said for you to talk when you're ready, so I'm going to do the talking now. If that's alright."

"... Do whatever."

"It's actually a miracle the call worked. I'm outside by a few garbage cans, and it's a lot darker than what I anticipated. Anyway, um, I didn't actually expect to get this far so I don't really know what to say. Actually, that's a lie. I've recited in my head what I want to say to you. Speaking it out loud, with you right there, is an entirely other matter. You are still there, right?"

"Yes."

"Ok, good. I wouldn't want to be blabbering to a bunch of bins. It makes me feel worse than talking to Sheba. Which, yes, I actually do. You question my commitment to Sheba but we have quite good conversations. How is Sheba?"

"I thought you said I didn't have to talk."

"Right, yes. Excellent time to do some listening, then. Because there was something you said that's stuck with me and I don't understand it, not one bit. You said you were a - I'm quoting because God knows I'd never say this, especially not about you - that you were a 'disgraced fuck up.' I don't know where you got that from. No, I do actually, but I don't understand why you would believe it, especially from him. I don't believe it for a second, and I'm sure the boys don't either. You shouldn't. There's nothing about you that I've encountered that would ever fall under the label of 'disgraced' or 'fuck up.' You're incredibly smart and loyal. You're funny and supportive and quick to protect people you care about. You're incredible, Toni –"

"Shut up."

"No, if you're not going to talk then you'll listen. Pick."

"I can't... I'm not-"

"You are. I'm not going to let you put yourself down using his words. His opinion doesn't matter. One of the first things I told you about my family was that they were bigots. And apparently, so is your brother. So I get it. Maybe not entirely, but the only person besides my friends who supported me was JJ. And he’s gone. So I don’t have anyone except my friends. My parents are awful, as you know. So yeah, I kind of get it even if I still have parents around and a very senile grandmother who I believe supports me but who knows. Anyway, you should start automatically tuning out whatever bullshit his spews from his mouth the same way you tell me to do with my family."

"It's not... I don't care about. About what my parents thought. Just."

"What is it, TT?"

"It's just him. It used to be us against everything. I wasn't alone, and I could handle whatever anyone said or did because he was there too. We saw some fucked up shit but we saw it together. He’s my big brother. But now he's not. And worse than that, he's not with me, but with them. Not just the Ghoulies. It's... this makes no sense."

"It doesn't have to, not for me."

"I can handle whatever the Southsiders or Northsiders say about me now. Ok, I thought I could. Mostly I can. When they're shouting slurs at me from across the Serpent line – that's fine. I don't care. But today it was him, too. He was shouting with them, and I couldn't do that."

"Who is he, Toni?"

"I mean, if he can say that stuff too – maybe everything else isn't a lie."

"It is. It absolutely is."

"I trusted him, Cheryl. I trusted him to not become like them. But suddenly the Northsiders took him in and then he joined that pack of dogs and it’s like... he doesn’t even know me.”

"Maybe he's not. Not everyone can be brave like you, TT."

"Well, he's really fucking good at pretending to be an asshole, then."

"Toni? Who is it?"

"M-Malachai. He'd never join in with their taunting... and it made me feel like, maybe, he stills cares and that I'm still alright."

"You're more than alright."

"That we're alright. Me and him. I guess not."

"You haven't done anything wrong."

"He picked them over me. It's... well, there's got to be a reason, right? Aside from the Serpents who, by the way, raised him just as much as they raised me.”

"Like I said, maybe he's too scared to leave them. Not necessarily anything you've done. Maybe it just makes his weak self esteem feel stronger surrounded by dicks with money.”

“Everyone always told me that if I kept going the way I was, everyone would leave me.”

"I won't leave you."

"Malach told me that, too. Moony, I don't expect you-"

"No, please stop this. I'm not leaving, not ever. I-I don't think I could. I mean, I'm not even there but I'm not leaving. That's got to mean something, right?"

"You'll get sick of me."

"I'll – what? Get sick of the way you make me laugh until I cry? Or the way your voice alone makes me feel safe? How you make me feel like I'm normal and not some... demon child? Maybe I'll get sick of how fiercely protective you are, or how brilliantly clever you are, or how dedicated you are to doing what you think is right."

"But... the other things..."

"The only thing I'm sick of, TT, is not being able to be there to convince you that those other things don't matter to me. They won't make me change my mind. I... I want to hold you until you believe me. I don't-"

[Call Disconnected]

(10:03) -Toni-  
Most inconvenient timing.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
I don't want anyone else, TT.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Whatever anyone has told you about yourself; people that don’t know a goddamn fucking thing, are liars.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
I'll make you see that.

(10:07) -Toni-  
I'm going back to my trailer

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Good idea.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Cheryl

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
Yes?

(10:11) -Toni-  
I don't think 'thank you' is enough.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
How about a promise, then?

(10:12) -Toni-  
What promise?

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
That you won't let yourself get like this again. And if you do, that you tell me. Please.

(10:14) -Toni-  
Ok. Yeah, I can do that.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
And also a deal.

(10:16) -Toni-  
And what deal would that be?

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
If you meet Archie you can hit him. If I meet your brother I can hit him.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Moony, hed eat you alive. Theres still some Southside in him, even if it’s corrupted by Ghoulies.

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
A sneak attack, then. With my bow and arrow.

(10:18) -Toni-  
You're ridiculous. Fine, deal.

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Good night, TT.

(10:20) -Toni-  
Good night, Bombshell.

*

(10:42) -Fangs-  
Thank, you. She’s asleep.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
It was no problem. Is she, um, better?

(10:43) -Fangs-  
A lot. Not perfect, but not murderous anymore. Sweetpea got her a few beers and Jug chose one of her favourite movies; Saw 3. You're good for her.

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
I don't really know what to say to that.

(10:45) -Fangs-  
I'll stop flustering you, then.

(10:45) -Fangs-  
But I'll definitely have to tell Toni I flustered you.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Oh boy.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
GOODNIGHT FANGS

(10:47) -Fangs-  
Hah, goodnight Bombshell.

*

Thursday AM

(9:28) -Toni-  
Bore da.

(9:29) -Cheryl-  
How many of these have you learned?

(9:29) -Toni-  
Enough to keep you going until Sunday!

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
What's this one, then?

(9:32) -Toni-  
Good morning.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Well then, bore da, TT.

(9:34) -Toni-  
Bore da. And, diolch i chi.

(9:34) -Toni-  
I told you that saying thank you didn't feel like enough so I thought maybe if it was in another language...

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
You're most welcome, TT. Any time.

(9:36) -Toni-  
I still don't feel like it's enough. I could write it in the sky and it probably wouldn't be enough.

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
As long as I helped, it's enough for me.

(9:38) -Toni-  
You have no idea how much you've helped me. I can't begin to explain.

(9:39) -Cheryl-  
Then I'll take that as being genuine. Again, you're welcome.

(9:40) -Toni-  
I have to give an oral presentation now.

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
An oral presentation? Should I be jealous?

(9:41) -Toni-  
Dirty Moony. Shes been awoken.

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
Good luck, idiot.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Thank you.

*

Thursday PM

(1:12) -Cheryl-  
I can't entirely tell if your advice was good or not.

(1:13) -Betty-  
Hello, Cheryl

(1:13) - Archie-  
Hi Cher!!!

(1:13) -Archie-  
What advice? I give you a lot of advice. 

(1:14) - Archie-  
Yeah. For a smart girl you're awfully clueless.

(1:14) -Cheryl-  
I didn't push the topic and it kind of... escalated.

(1:15) -Archie-  
Is she alright?

(1:16) -Cheryl-  
Yes. I mean, she is now, I think.

(1:18) -Betty-  
I'm sorry.

(1:19) -Cheryl-  
It's not your fault. How's home?

(1:20) -Archie-  
Boooooring. You're coming home soon, right?

(1:20) -Cheryl-  
Monday. Not long.

(1:21) -Betty-  
We are having a movie marathon once you get back.

(1:21) -Cheryl-  
So long as it's not a running marathon.

(1:22) -Betty-  
I would never do that to you, Cheryl.

(1:24) -Cheryl-  
Oh really? Is that true?

(1:24) -Cheryl-  
I guess 2010 must have been a blur for you, then.

(1:24) -Betty-  
That was one time.

(1:26) -Cheryl-  
The marathon ran for four days, Betty, I'm counting that as more than once.

(1:27) -Betty-  
You're so sensitive, Cheryl, I didn't even make you run.

(1:27) -Cheryl-  
No, you took off without me! I had to make friends with Mrs Figs With Osteoporosis. 

(1:29) -Archie-  
Oh, she was lovely! I remember those chocolate truffles she brought on the third day.

(1:30) -Cheryl-  
Do you also remember her several cats and their ranging personalities? I could tell you now, since you missed out last time.

(1:31) -Archie-  
I'm good, thank you Cher.

(1:32) -Cheryl-  
Are you sure? There's Floozle, who doesn't like it when she vacuums so she does it as little as possible.

(1:33) -Archie-  
Really, I'm fine. 

(1:34) -Cheryl-  
Oh, if you want it straight from Mrs Figs herself I think I still have her phone number somewhere.

(1:36) -Betty-  
Don't do this, Cheryl, you're better than this.

(1:37) -Cheryl-  
Make sure you rent out Love, Actually.

(1:38) -Betty-  
Yeah, I will

(1:38) - Cheryl-  
I was talking to Archie.

(1:38) - Archie  
Ummmm, I'm not an idiot.

(1:39) -Cheryl-  
Making sure.

*

(3:12) -Toni-  
I've narrowed the list down.

(3:13) -Cheryl-  
What list?

(3:13) -Toni-  
The potential counter-pranksters!

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
Counter-pranksters?

(3:16) -Toni-  
Well, we are the pranksters. Any others are defying our rule.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
This isn't a revolution.

(3:18) -Toni-  
But it is!

(3:19) -Toni-  
No! Wait! It's war!

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
I thought you were going to take them under your wing?

(3:21) -Toni-  
That was until they painted Mr. Grant’s car pink! GRANTed, Grant was quite happy with it, but still. No one saw them do it!

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Mmm. Clever joke. That's not pranking, that's vandalism.

(3:22) -Toni-  
It actually looks pretty good. But that's beside the point.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
What's the list then, TT?

(3:25) -Toni-  
They have to be Serpents.

(3:25) -Toni-  
A snake. Genuinely. One of us.

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
Why do you say that?

(3:28) -Toni-  
Bc Southsiders that live farther in the Southside’e pranks involve serious injury, kids who are poor but on the other side of the tracks don't prank when they can drown you in sarcasm instead, and Northsiders who couldnt get into Riverdale High pranks involve mixing your Coke with cordial when you leave it unattended.

(3:30) -Cheryl-  
Are you... stereotyping all the kids at your school?

(3:30) -Toni-  
Yeah. So?

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
You're never going to find them like that.

(3:31) -Toni-  
What do you mean?????

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
They expect you to go by the stereotypes, and thus disguising themselves better. You have to keep an open mind.

(3:34) -Toni-  
Mooooooony.

(3:35) -Cheryl-  
What?

(3:36) -Toni-  
You ruined my only lead.

(3:37) -Cheryl-  
Sorry, TT. As they say, back to the drawing board?

(3:37) -Toni-  
This is much harder than finding out what illness you have.

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
That's because I left clues. What clues have they left?

(3:40) -Toni-  
They left a spray can by Grant’s car. Moony, you're a genius!

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
Ok, now I'm confused.

(3:42) -Toni-  
I can lift their fingerprints from the spray can.

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
...Can you honestly?

(3:44) -Toni-  
No, Moony, come on. They're invisible!

(3:44) -Toni-  
Wait.

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
What now?

(3:46) -Toni-  
I could do a stake out. Try and catch them in the act.

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
How? How will you know where they'll strike next?

(3:48) -Toni-  
I know where I'd strike next, if the guys weren't being wet blankets.

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
Where, then?

(3:50) -Toni-  
The courtyard just got a new statue for the founders namesake. I'd... Do something to it.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
And?

(3:51) - Toni-  
The namesake was founded by someone from deeper in the Southside.

(3:51) - Cheryl-  
And then if nothing happens to it, you know it's one of them.

(3:51) -Toni-  
Exactly, Bombshell!!

(3:52) -Cheryl-  
So... you're going to stake out a statue when and how long?

(3:53) -Toni-  
Well I'm doing nothing tonight. Are you?

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I thought I'd go see the ballet.

(3:54) -Toni-  
Awesome, so you're free. We're going on a stake out, Bombshell.

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
Toniiiiiiii. For how long?

(3:55) -Toni-  
For as long as we have to!

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
!! No!

(3:56) -Toni-  
Ok, fine. Until... one am. Personally, I'd do it at midnight. Give them some leeway time. Acceptable?

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
I suppose. In that case, I'm going to nap now.

(3:57) -Toni-  
Aw, fragile Bombshell.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
More like wants-to-conserve-her-spoons Bombshell.

(3:59) -Toni-  
What? Why are you hogging spoons?

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
Never mind. I'll explain later. Now I'm sleeping.

(4:00) -Toni-  
Good night, Bombshell.

(4:00) -Cheryl-  
Good night, TT.

*

Friday AM

(12:15) -Toni-  
Here we go. You're awake, right?

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
Right. How could I sleep with all this adventure going on?

(12:18) -Toni-  
Wow. Bad nap?

(12:19) -Cheryl-  
Perfect nap. I'd like another one.

(12:20) -Toni-  
Come on, we'll be here an hour, max.

(12:22) -Cheryl-  
Very well. What's the statue look like?

(12:24) -Toni-  
Snobbish looking carpenter with a ugly dog around his feet. He's also got an axe, holding it above his head. Very heroic.

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
Who's he meant to be?

(12:26) -Toni-  
Westboro Braxton. Yeah, he sounds like a disease.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
Is he killing the dog? That would count as pretty evil

(12:30) -Toni-  
HA, no, that's his family emblem. Long line of coal-miners and such. Right, so basically, a bunch of old timey people built a school for the less fortunate or something and made themselves into these heroic figures so the students could worship them, since none of our families can throw money our way. Some shady stories though, and Jug may have accidentally disproved his story of fame in sophomore year. Our English teacher was pissed.

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
At least they made your school cool with statues

(12:33) -Toni-  
Nothing says prestige quite like having the biggest assholes who every kid likes to compare about as our founders. Most of the time, we’d teepee Southside High jus to prove which chunk of students were better

(12:34) -Cheryl-  
I imagine that's mostly your fault, though.

(12:35) -Toni-  
Nah, that's Sweetpea’s department. He's in charge of keeping the childhood legacy of the serpents alive and well with two ply.

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
So, whos your legacy then?

(12:37) -Toni-  
Well... not to brag, but my great-great grandpa Timothy Topaz.

(12:37) -Cheryl-  
Gee, I see you Topaz’s like your T’s. Any sign of counter-pranksters?

(12:38) -Toni-  
None so far. I have a clown costume in case they don't show, though.

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
What are you going to do with a clown costume?

(12:39) -Toni-  
Dress up Westy a bit.

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
That's not the aim of the stake out! If it's not tonight, it could be tomorrow. You'd be ruining your chances!

(12:41) -Toni-  
Moooony. Stop killing my vibe.

(12:42) -Toni-  
I can't believe your lack of dedication to the cause. You're disappointing me.

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
Fiiiiine. We'll wait.

(12:44) -Toni-  
Tell me what the spoon thing was.

(12:45) -Cheryl-  
Oh right

(12:45) -Cheryl-  
Well, it's this analogy that sort of explains what it's like to live with a chronic illness (or disability) where, uh, spoons are used as measureable devices to represent energy. I naturally have limited energy because of my illness, so small activities can mean I lose energy, or 'spoons'. Some days it varies how many spoons I have to begin with and how many spoons I lose. It's hard to predict.

(12:47) -Toni-  
Being up at midnight can lose you spoons?

(12:47) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Sleep is important for conserving energy for everyone, anyway. Thus, why I took a nap.

(12:48) -Toni-  
Serious question now, Bombshell.

(12:49) -Cheryl-  
It must be if you're using "serious."

(12:50) -Toni-  
Exactly.

(12:50) -Toni-  
Why spoons?

(12:52) -Cheryl-  
HAHA

(12:52) -Toni-  
Bombshell, don't be mean.

(12:53) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry, there's just... There's no real reason why spoons.

(12:54) -Cheryl-  
In the original story two friends (one healthy, and one chronically ill) are at a diner. Healthy Friend asks Chronically Ill Friend why they don't go out together more often, and CIF explains how their illness doesn't really let them, but HF doesn't understand. The closest thing CIF had to explain what they meant in a physical demonstration were spoons. Holding the spoons up to HF, CIF explains that they have only a certain number of spoons for the day, while HF has an unlimited supply. Each activity takes a spoon or so away from their capabilities.

(12:55) -Toni-  
So you could have very easily been measuring your energy levels with sugar packets.

(12:55) -Cheryl-  
Yes, it was a close call. It would have been handy for Archie, though.

(12:55) -Cheryl-  
“I can't go out today, my sugars are low."

(12:56) -Toni-  
I don't get it.

(12:56) -Cheryl-  
Archie has Type 1 Diabetes.

(12:56) -Toni-  
OH

(12:57) -Toni-  
HAHA

(12:57) -Toni-  
That would have been the perfect analogy 

(12:58) -Toni-  
But I'm sorry for losing you spoons, Moony.

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
My spoons are doing fine, TT. If I couldn't do it I'd tell you.

(12:58) -Toni-  
Ok. Yeah. Do that.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Anything happening there yet?

(1:00) -Toni-  
No, I'm about to call it quits. It's cold out here.

(1:00) -Cheryl-  
I'm still ok if you want to wait longer.

(1:01) -Toni-  
Ok, we'll see how far we can go. I'm still cold though.

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
Think hot thoughts.

(1:02) -Toni-  
Hot thoughts, you say?

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
Warm. Warm thoughts is what I meant. Think about something warm.

(1:03) -Toni-  
Really? I think I'd prefer to think hot thoughts.

(1:03) -Cheryl-  
Keep them to yourself.

(1:04) -Toni-  
I'm sure it must be cold in Wales. Don't want me to share my hot thoughts?

(1:04) -Cheryl-  
I have a comforter, I'm good.

(1:05) -Toni-  
In one of my hot thoughts I'm in the comforter with you.

(1:05) -Cheryl-  
Ergh, you're unbearable.

(1:06) -Toni-  
And yet you never yield, Mooncrest.

(1:06) -Cheryl-  
You know the phrase "actions speak louder than words"?

(1:08) -Toni-  
Oo, is that a promise?

(1:09) -Cheryl-  
Will it force you to stop making implications?

(1:09) -Toni-  
I'm hurt you don't like my implications.

(1:10) -Cheryl-  
I feel weird about being receptive to your implications while there are half a dozen people in the room.

(1:10) -Toni-  
Aren't they sleeping?

(1:11) -Cheryl-  
Yes, but they are also snoring. I am very aware that they are there.

(1:12) -Toni-  
You're a strange girl, Cheryl Blossom.

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
You're not exactly regular yourself, you know.

(1:14) -Cheryl-  
I'm starting to feel like this stake out is a bust.

(1:20) -Cheryl-  
TT?

(1:28) -Cheryl-  
Please tell me you've fallen asleep and not that the counter-pranksters have captured you.

(1:29) -Cheryl-  
If this is the counter-pranksters, I'm Cheryl. I'm afraid I don't have the ransom needed to pay for Toni. She’s all yours.

(1:33) -Cheryl-  
Ok, you must be asleep. You wouldn't stand for that kind of insult if you were awake.

(1:33) -Toni-  
Good night, TT.

*

(8:01) -Toni-  
I had a freshman poke me with a stick to see if I was alive.

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
I understand the feeling

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
You're like the most annoying freshman with the biggest stick right now.

(8:05) -Toni-  
Sorry Moony if I'm not that sympathetic

(8:06) -Toni-  
For you see

(8:06) -Toni-  
I woke up in a fucking garden.

(8:07) -Cheryl-  
You're fault.

(8:08) -Toni-  
There's even worse news, Moony.

(8:09) -Cheryl.  
Your hair is a mess?

(8:10) -Toni-  
No, it’s perfectly tousled. BUT WESTBORO FUCKING BRAZTON IS WEARING A DRESS AND WIG

(8:10) -Toni-  
AND MAKE UP

(8:10) -Toni-  
Like. Really good make up.

(8:11) -Cheryl-  
You're either telling me that the counter-pranksters managed to do this with your sleeping body within ear shot, or you prank in your sleep.

(8:13) -Toni-  
Which option makes me sound less pathetic?

(8:14) -Cheryl-  
No, you're screwed either way.

(8:15) -Toni-  
I can't believe this, Bombshell. They must be ghosts. That's the only possible explanation.

(8:17) -Cheryl-  
Are they outranking you?

(8:18) -Toni-  
I'm a noble woman, Bombshell. I can admit when I've been defeated.

(8:18) -Toni-  
No, they're big poopy heads.

(8:19) -Toni-  
But they have openly declared war with this act.

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
War? Jesus. It never ends with you does it.

(8:21) -Toni-  
They need to learn their place! I am their superior!

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
How do you show exasperation through text without actually saying "I'm exasperated"?

(8:30) -Toni-  
Ah, shit. McGregor thinks I did this.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
Show her our texts as evidence to your innocence.

(8:31) -Toni-  
I'm so lucky to have you, Moony.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
If you want to keep me, stop messaging me now.

(8:33) -Toni-  
Ok. Sleep tight Bombshell.

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
You bet.

*

(10:02)-Toni- I'm telling you guys, we need to strike back.

(10:03)-Sweets- Toni, how do you find the total surface area of a triangular prism?

(10:04) -Toni- This isn't the time for mathematics, Pea!

(10:05) -Fangs- Funny, because I thought we were in mathematics.

(10:06) -Toni- Come onnnn, Fangs! Our legacy!

(10:06) -Fangs- Usually I would be all for maintaining our legacy, Padfoot, but we have an important game this weekend. That's what I'm concentrating on. Sweetpea too, right mate?

(10:07) -Sweets- Yeah. Can one of you come help me, please?

(10:07)-Toni- I don't know Wormtail, will you come help me when I ask it?

(10:09) -Sweets- I'm asking for a formula, you're asking for a live sacrifice. There's a difference.

(10:10) -Toni- You both suck.

(10:12) -Juggy- We'll get to it in time, Toni, just chill. Until then, let those assholes go for it. Hopefully they'll get caught soon.

(10:13) -Toni- They better. They need to learn their place.

(10:14) -Sweets- For fuck's sake, one of you get here now. I'm going to cry.

(10:15) -Juggy- Toni will do it.

(10:15) -Toni- Jug is on it.

(10:16) -Sweets- Why do you two never want to help me?

(10:16) -Sweets- Fine. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten.

(10:17) -Toni- Six

(10:18) -Juggy- Three

(10:18) -Sweets- It was seven. Topaz, get here now.

(10:19) -Toni- Fuck.

*

Friday PM

(2:14) -Cheryl-  
I didn't know how many streamers it took to decorate a small community room.

(2:15) -Toni-  
Party time, huh?

(2:17) -Cheryl-  
Lyon is wearing fishnets and keeps throwing glitter everywhere. I feel like I've stepped into a gay club.

(2:18) -Toni  
Sounds only like the best party ever.

(2:18) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, we'll see.

(2:20) -Toni-  
The guys still refuse to help me with the invading enemy.

(2:21) -Cheryl-  
What do you plan on doing, anyway?

(2:22) -Toni-  
Finding them and eliminating them.

(2:23) -Cheryl-  
Not beating them at their own game?

(2:24) -Toni-  
But this is my game! They're the intruders.

(2:24) -Toni-  
I can't solo prank, anyway. It works better with a team.

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Sounds like something you'd put on a resume. "Works well in a team of pranksters."

(2:26) -Toni-  
Like Professional Party Decorator?

(2:26) -Cheryl-  
Lyon says I have the creativity of a shrew. I'm not entirely sure what that means but she was very adamant about it.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
She also says I have the attention span of a puppy. I need to get back to 'decorating'.

(2:28) -Toni-  
Unleash your creative flair, Cher.

(2:29) -Cheryl-  
Be quiet.

*

(3:38) -Toni-  
Sweets, where's the goldfish?

(3:39) -Sweets-  
Goldfish is in the bowl, idiot.

(3:39) -Toni-  
No, it's not Sweetpea THERE IS NO FISH HERE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SHEBA??

(3:40) -Sweets-  
NOTHING WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT

(3:40) -Toni-  
I'm trying to stay calm, Jordan. Fangs, Jug?

(3:41) -Juggy-  
I don't know where the fish is. They should be in the bowl. Because fish can't fucking walk or fly.

(3:41) -Toni-  
THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE DARWIN BUT THERE IS NO FISH HERE

(3:41) -Toni-  
AND YOU, SWEETPEA, WERE THE LAST ONE TO FEED THEM

(3:43) -Sweets-  
WELL THEY WERE THERE WHEN I FED THEM AN HOUR AGO

(3:43) -Toni-  
WHERE. THE FUCK. IS SHEBA??

(3:45) -Sweets-  
I. DON'T. KNOW.

(3:45) -Toni-  
The window is open

(3:47) -Sweets-  
????? whoopdedoo.

(3:47) -Toni-  
WE NEVER LEAVE THE WINDOW OPEN IN CASE THE FUCKING STRAYS COME IN AND EAT ALL THE FOOD WE HAVE STASHED AWAY. DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE 11?

(3:49) -Sweets-  
Yes, Toni, I remember.

(3:50) -Toni-  
The window is open.

(3:51) -Sweets-  
I was... Ok, I might have had a cigarette.

(3:51) -Juggy-  
Pea, you don't fucking smoke.

(3:51) -Juggy-  
You have asthma, for fuck's sake.

(3:53) -Sweets-  
Well I do now.

(3:55) -Toni-  
THIS JUST PROVES THAT SMOKING KILLS BRAIN CELLS OR WHATEVER. SHEBA HAS BEEN EATEN BY A FUCKING BEAST.

(3:56) -Sweets-  
I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO

(3:56) -Toni-  
WHAT DO I DO

(3:57) -Juggy-  
Buy a new one?

(3:57) -Toni-  
OH IM JUST GOING TO REPLACE BOMBSHELLS DEAD GOLDFISH WITH A NEW ONE AND HOPE IT'S OK??? SHE COMES HOME IN TWO DAYS!

(3:58) -Juggy-  
Then act fast? Idk wasnt it your fish first anyway?

(3:58) - Toni-  
Yes, T H E Y were, but then I gifted them to Cheryl as a cute little lesbian UHaul kind of gift and now SWEETPEA FUCKING KILLED THEM

(3:59) -Toni-  
You're buying the fish, dick. I CANT BELIEVE YOU KILLED OUR FISH!

(4:01) -Sweets-  
PLEASE DON'T TELL HER. I'M SORRY.

(4:02) -Toni-  
Sheba is dead. Oh my god I can't believe this.

(4:02) -Sweets-  
I'm really sorry, Toni. I didn’t mean to.

(4:02) -Toni-  
It's ok. Let's just hope she doesn't notice. The last thing she needs is a dead goldfish.

(4:04) -Sweets-  
I'll get one tomorrow. I promise.

(4:05) -Toni-  
Damn right, Jordan. God I can't believe this. I feel sick.

(4:05) -Sweets-  
I'll also get beer.

(4:06) -Juggy-  
And donuts. Lots of donuts.

(4:07) -Sweets-  
Done.

(4:07) -Toni-  
Good. You're an alright friend to have, Jordan.

(4:07) -Sweets-  
When I'm not killing your girlfriends fish.

(4:09) -Toni-  
And being a smartass.

*

(7:07) -Cheryl-  
Party has kicked off. I already want it to stop.

(7:08) -Toni-  
Where's your relive-laugh-love spirit, Moony?

(7:08) -Cheryl-  
I let it all out in my streamers.

(7:10) -Toni-  
Oh, I bet they're dazzling.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
Lyon assures me it's the highlight of the party.

(7:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm beginning to believe her. They're making us play Chinese Whispers. I'm six again.

(7:12) -Toni-  
Moony, this is a perfect game.

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
Fine, they're about to get to me. What do I change the sentence to?

(7:13) -Toni-  
I love that you knew what I meant.

(7:13) -Toni-  
WAIT THAT'S NOT THE SENTENCE I CHOOSE

(7:13) -Toni-  
MY SENTENCE IS

(7:13) -Cheryl-  
IT'S TOO LATE.

(7:14) -Toni-  
What??? What sentence did you use?!

(7:14) -Cheryl-  
You took too long so I went with 'I love that you knew what I meant.'

(7:14) -Toni-  
Booooring.

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
Holy crap

(7:15) -Toni-  
What?

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
This is impossible

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
The sentence became 'I love that moony I vent.'

(7:17) -Toni-  
My plan all along. I'm so smooth.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Liar. We're doing another round, quick.

(7:18) -Toni-  
Shit, Bombshell, pressure's on now! Give me more warning.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Hurry up.

(7:19) -Toni-  
I want you to whisper 'omelette du fromage.'

(7:19) -Cheryl-  
Are you fucking with me?

(7:19) -Cheryl-  
Too late I've done it.

(7:20) -Cheryl-  
Lyon choked on her own spit.

(7:21) -Cheryl-  
Got changed to 'omelette dude from mars'

(7:22) -Cheryl-  
These people are so unimaginative.

(7:23) -Cheryl-  
The camp leaders are getting mad. They keep asking who's changing the sentences on purpose.

(7:24) -Toni-  
Don't betray the secret, Moony.

(7:25) -Cheryl-  
And risk being sent to bed without dinner? I would never.

(7:27) -Cheryl-  
It is the most important meal of the day.

(7:28) -Cheryl-  
My health would deplete significantly if I didn't have hot chocolate and cookies before bed.

(7:29) -Toni-  
I know what you mean. Last night, when I fell asleep in a garden, I didn't have dinner and I woke up with a bee on my forehead.

(7:29) -Cheryl-  
If you had had dinner, then that bee would have never been there.

(7:30) -Toni-  
Exactly!

(7:31) -Cheryl-  
Sometimes I worry about our conversations.

(7:32) -Toni-  
Worry about how GREAT they are?

(7:40) -Toni-  
Wow, don't be too quick to agree.

(7:54) -Toni-  
And I thought we were doing so well. But I see you have left me, probably for another. Lyon, perhaps?

(8:04) -Toni-  
I'm gonna go have dinner. Fangs made Spaghetti.

*

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Camp leaders literally took my phone from me. (And get over the Lyon thing my god!)

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Because I was not participating in group activities.

(10:03) -Toni-  
Moony, it's the high school experience you've been missing out on all this time!

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
Homeschooling is the best.

(10:05) -Toni-  
So how was the shindig?

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
After Chinese Whispers we played musical chairs until someone's prosthetic leg flew off. She still won the chair, though.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
But how was your day?

(10:09) -Toni-  
Oh, fine, nothing happened.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
Nothing?

(10:10) -Toni-  
No, absolutely nothing. Not a thing. Not one damned thing happened today.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
This is either an exaggeration or you're lying...

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
But I need to sleep. Good night, TT.

(10:13) -Toni-  
Sweet dreams, Bombshell.

*

Saturday AM

(10:18) -Toni-  
Have you left yet?

(10:19) -Sweets-  
Do you see me near the beer or fire pit?

(10:20) -Toni-  
I can't be bothered rolling over and looking out the window

(10:21) -Sweets-  
It's nearly ten-thirty the day before semi-finals and Josie is letting you stay in bed????

(10:22) -Toni-  
She went to study with Joaquin an hour ago. I told her I was going to mess around with Elvendork when she came to grab him

(10:23) -Sweets-  
So you lied to stay in bed.

(10:24) -Toni-  
Yep. Have you left yet?

(10:25) -Sweets-  
Yes, I've fuckin’ left. 'Bout ten minutes from the pet shop.

(10:26) -Toni-  
Good. And don't forget.

(10:27) -Sweets-  
Beer and donuts. I know. Why couldn’t I just juggle this shit and take my bike? Wouldve been way faster then this shitty bus.

(10:27) -Toni-  
Can’t risk killing ANOTHER fish. And you can't have the goods tonight. Fangs would have an aneurism.

(10:28) -Sweets-  
Yeah, yeah. You let me worry about that.

(10:29) -Toni-  
He'll yell at me for being the enabler.

(10:30) -Toni-  
I'll turn you over to Cheryl if you don't give me the goods, Pea.

(10:31) -Sweets-  
Understood. Beer and donuts are coming soon.

(10:32) -Toni-  
Better be.

*

Saturday PM

(2:34) -Toni-  
Sweetpea what the fuck is this?

(2:35) -Sweets-  
What now?

(2:36) -Toni-  
What the FUCK is THIS?

(2:37) -Sweets-  
Did I get the wrong donuts?

(2:38) -Toni-  
NO JORDAN YOU GOT THE WRONG FISH

(2:39) -Sweets-  
What do you mean I got the wrong fish?! A fish is a fish!

(2:40) -Toni-  
Sheba was a goldfish. A /gold/fish.

(2:41) -Sweets-  
Yeah, alright.

(2:41) -Toni-  
THIS FISH IS BLACK JORDAN.

(2:43) -Sweets-  
It was the only fish they had there!!!

(2:44) -Toni-  
Really, the only ONLY goldfish they had there??

(2:45) -Sweets-  
Yes, ok. Yes!

(2:45) -Toni-  
This is a disaster. I knew this was too important to trust in you.

(2:46) -Toni-  
How am I meant to explain this??

(2:47) -Toni-  
“Haha, yeah Bombshell, I thought it would be funny if I dyed your fish!!"

(2:47) -Sweets-  
They look more punk rock now.

(2:48) -Toni-  
No joking, Jordan, you're not allowed to joke.

(2:49) -Toni-  
Oh god, do I mention it??? Or do I just drop the fish off and wait for her to mention it???

(2:50) -Sweets-  
When do you bring them back?

(2:51) -Toni-  
Tomorrow morning. And shit, we start cheer practice in an hour.

(2:52) -Toni-  
Josie also mentioned keeping me back because I'll be missing tomorrow morning's session. Fuck. Fuck. I just have to give her this shitty bootleg version of Sheba.

(2:53) -Toni-  
Oh god she's going to hate me

(2:54) -Sweets-  
I hate me

(2:54) -Toni-  
No, I hate you.

(2:56) -Sweets-  
Let's not get hurtful. I got you Krispy Kremes.

(2:57) -Toni-  
Krispy Kremes and a dodgy fish. Bravo, really, Pea!

(2:59) -Sweets-  
Fine, what material item do I have to give you now to make you forgive me?

(2:59) -Toni-  
No, no, you're not getting out of this one that easily.

(3:01) -Toni-  
When Cheryl finds out you have to call her and apologize.

(3:02) -Sweets-  
Are you KIDDING ME NO

(3:02) -Toni-  
You have to face what you did.

(3:04) -Sweets-  
I don't want her to hate me!!

(3:04) -Toni-  
Then you better make it heartfelt, Sweetpea.

(3:06) -Sweets-  
Damnit, Toni.

(3:06) -Sweets-  
Fine.

(3:08) -Toni-  
Damn right.

*

(6:04) -Toni-  
I can't feel my legs.

(6:06) -Cheryl-  
What happened to your legs?

(6:07) -Toni-  
Josie

(6:07) -Toni-  
Josie happened to my legs.

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
I'm afraid I don't have any spares. I can check with the girl with a prosthetic and see if she can hook you up?

(6:10) -Toni-  
Moony, what happened to your stockpile of legs you have on standby? Now that I really need it?

(6:11) -Cheryl-  
I only have the robotic legs left, and I think you wouldn’t be adequately prepared if you cheer with robotic legs.

(6:13) -Toni-  
Let's not even talk about the game tomorrow. Fangs is pacing the room like a freak. And I have to cheer this idiot on.

(6:13) -Toni-  
He keeps muttering about strategy and play offs. He needs help.

(6:15) -Cheryl-  
Try getting him to meditate.

(6:16) -Toni-  
Really, that's your

(6:16) -Toni-  
Wait I'm gonna try it.

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
He shook me and told me now was not the time to slack off.

(6:20) -Toni-  
I can't wait for this to be over.

(6:21) -Cheryl-  
If you win though, he'll be even worse next week.

(6:23) -Toni-  
Oh god I didn't think of that.

(6:25) -Cheryl-  
Don't go throwing the game, now. With another ball at someone’s legs. Or face.

(6:27) -Toni-  
But Bombshellllll, I don't think I can spend another week with this lunacy. He's driving me up the wall!

(6:29) -Cheryl-  
Something tells me it's not at all unlike what he has to deal with...

(6:30) -Toni-  
What are you insinuating, Moony?

(6:31) -Cheryl-  
Mmm nothing, TT.

(6:34) -Cheryl-  
Dinner now. I'll talk to you later.

(6:35) -Toni-  
Eat well, my love.

(6:35) -Cheryl-  
Loser.

*

(8:45) -Toni-  
Is it still ok for me to be at your house tomorrow?

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
Of course.

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
Just be there and gone by midday.

(8:48) -Toni-  
Avoiding parental figures is my specialty.

(8:50) -Toni-  
Actually, Moony?

(8:52) -Cheryl-  
Yes?

(8:56) -Toni-  
Never mind.

(8:57) -Cheryl-  
Oh, you can't do that. Come on.

(8:57) -Toni-  
No, it's nothing.

(8:59) -Cheryl-  
Toni.

(9:01) -Toni-  
Fangs is hammering me to go to sleep to get well rested. Apparently my cheering is vital to his performance. Jesus.

(9:02) -Cheryl-  
You're really just going to leave?

(9:04) -Toni-  
Whatever I was about to say... it'll come up again later. Don't worry about it.

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
Definitely worrying about it.

(9:05) -Toni-  
Don't worry!! Good night Moony.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Good night, TT.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
I think.

*

Sunday AM

(10:12) -Toni-  
The eagle has landed.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
Are you meant to be the eagle?

(10:15) -Toni-  
Am I not majestic enough to be an eagle?

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
Is Molly there?

(10:18) -Toni-  
No, but it smells like cookies so she's been here recently.

(10:18) -Toni-  
I feel weird letting myself into your house.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Try not to think about it.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Also try not to steal anything.

(10:23) -Toni-  
I'm trying, I really am. So many temptations, though. I haven’t been in a place this big and lavish since... well, ever.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Like what?

(10:26) -Toni-  
The porcelain head on the mantle.

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Don't touch Teddy.

(10:28) -Toni-  
You named the tiny breakable head Teddy?

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
I thought it was a cute name.

(10:30) -Toni-  
Sure, Cheryl. Adorable.

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
Be quiet. How'd you go getting Sheba to the house?

(10:32) -Toni-  
Fine, I got a travel tank. It has a treasure chest in it and everything.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
Are you spoiling Sheba?

(10:37) -Toni-  
They deserve nothing but the best, Moony. They lived in luxury while they stayed with me.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
Not awful neglect?

(10:39) -Toni-  
Haha, why would you say that?

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Your general recklessness.

(10:42) -Toni-  
How dare you.

(10:43) -Toni-  
You're entirely right.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
I know.

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
I'm filling out a survey expressing my feelings on the camp experience.

(10:48) -Toni-  
Oooooh, fun. Is it anonymous?

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(10:50) -Toni-  
Talk about the time they repeatedly treated you like a child!

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Or the time they nearly undernourished me?

(10:53) -Toni-  
Or the time they made you feel unsafe reporting potential bullying?

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
This camp has just been so much fun.

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
How about how they still haven't fixed the only landline.

(10:57) -Toni-  
I can't wait for you to come home.

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
Neither can I.

(10:59) -Toni-  
One more sleep.

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
One more sleep. Still too long.

*

Sunday PM

(2:25) -Toni-  
Game time!

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Are you nervous?

(2:26) -Toni-  
Moony, what could you possibly think the answer to that question would be? I’m cheering for my idiot friends.

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
You'll do wonderfully. As will the boys. Tell Sweetpea and Fangs I wish them luck.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
Just don't injure yourself. Are you sure you should be cheering?

(2:28) -Toni-  
Moooooony.

(2:28) -Toni-  
I think Josie would kill me if I didn't cheer. Pea would kill me for not screaming for him in case any girls are watching.

(2:29) -Cheryl-  
Then my warning still stands.

(2:29) -Cheryl-  
Also, don't injure anyone else. Because then you'll be benched. Or whatever.

(2:30) -Toni-  
That's the spirit, Bombshell!

(2:30) -Toni-  
OK IT'S REALLY GAME TIME NOW BYE

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
Have fun!!

*

(5:00) -Toni-  
MOONY WE WON

(5:01) -Cheryl-  
CONGRATULATIONS!

(5:02) -Toni-  
IT WAS 1-0 AND SWEETS SCORED THE TOUCHDOWN WITH 10 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK

(5:02) -Toni-  
THAT BOY IS GOING DOWN IN SOUTHSIDE HISTORY

(5:03) -Toni-  
Well, at least he should.

(5:04) -Cheryl-  
So one more week of Fangs being a worried parent?

(5:04) -Toni-  
One more week of Fangs frantically checking Sweetpea’s blood pressure and heart rate to make sure hes still healthy.

(5:05) -Cheryl-  
Hey, he sounds like my nurse.

(5:06) -Toni-  
Only I expect your nurses coo at you and call you 'sweetheart'

(5:07) -Toni-  
Fangs would bash us on the head and call us dickheaks if he catches us eating a donut.

(5:08) -Cheryl-  
Eating a donut?

(5:09) -Toni-  
I might be on the roof. Eating a donut. Bc Fangs is already in his Grand Finale Mode.

(5:09) -Toni-  
So we have to eat healthy and exercise everyday until game day. It’s weird, he’s more worried about my training regimen then Josie.

(5:10) -Cheryl-  
I think Fangs and Betty would get on very well.

(5:11) -Toni-  
They'd be the most terrifying personal trainers in the world.

(5:11) - Toni-  
But I think opposites attract more. So her and Jughead would probably be like... soulmates, or something. 

(5:12) -Toni-  
So what are you doing?

(5:13) -Cheryl-  
Maybe we should set them up. Also, I’m  
packing currently. It feels like it's all I ever do.

(5:14) -Toni-  
What kind of strange socks have you ended up with this time?

(5:16) -Cheryl-  
None, but I think this is Lyon's hair brush.

(5:16) -Cheryl-  
No, I don't think. It is. It has lime green hair in it.

(5:18) -Toni-  
Gross.

(5:19) -Cheryl-  
I'll leave it on her pillow. Isn't there some crazy after-party going on over there?

(5:20) -Toni-  
Yeah, but I wanted to eat donuts.

(5:20) -Toni-  
Well, and talk to you.

(5:21) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to get dinner early. Go join the party, Toni.

(5:23) -Toni-  
I don't mind sitting here talking to you, you know.

(5:25) -Cheryl-  
Surely getting smashed would be more of an adventure.

(5:29) -Toni-  
Not even remotely.

(5:31) -Toni-  
But if you're really going to have dinner...

(5:32) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I told Lyon I'd help her pack up her things. The group also has to do a mass cleaning of the camp, anyway.

(5:33) -Toni-  
Wow, I like how they made you do that AFTER you filled out their opinion survey.

(5:34) -Cheryl-  
Mm, a true conspiracy.

(5:34) -Cheryl-  
I'll talk to you later, Toni.

(5:35) -Cheryl-  
Congratulations on your win.

(5:36) -Toni-  
Thank you, Bombshell. Cya.

*

[Calling Cheryl]

"This isn't drunk dialing, is it?"

"Fangs wouldn't let me drink. Wouldn't let anyone from the team drink, either. And it’s less fun being wasted without them anyhow, despite the fact I definitely could’ve stolen a 12 pack."

"Fangs is right on top of it, isn't he?"

"Fangs is a draaaag. But the party died hours ago, since most of us weren't drinking."

"Right. Lyon fell asleep during 'Oceans 11' so I've had no one to talk to for nearly two hours."

"Bombshell, you should have texted."

"I was under the impression you were socializing. With real people."

"Where's this coming from? You are a real person, you know. At least I really, really hope you're a real person."

"I just – I don't know. I don't know, maybe being with real people who are actually there might be more... preferable."

"No. You're preferable to all of them. I can't wait for you to be here again."

"Neither can I. It's so close that it feels like time is passing slowly."

"Only a few more hours and then you'll be back in the country."

"Mmm. A few more hours. And then when do we..."

"Uh, I'm... well. Josie is making us do mandatory training. So... weekend?"

"Another week?"

"I'm sorry, Cheryl."

"No, it's not your fault. Don't worry. Weekend is fine. Weekend is good."

"Cool. Good. Yeah."

"Hopefully it'll actually happen this time."

"Hopefully? Need more than hope, Moonster."

"It will happen this time?"

"That's more confident. I like that."

"You're ridiculous."

"So are you. And your ridiculous face."

"Oh dear."

"I got to see that photo on your desk again."

"It's the worst photo, though!"

"I don't believe you for a second."

"Even Betty says I have resting bitch face."

"But Betty dated Archie, so I don't trust her."

"Oh, stop it."

"I want to kiss your ridiculous face, bitch looking or not."

"Toniiiiii. Hmphferg."

"What was that?"

"You're being mean again."

"Did you –"

"I had to bury my face in my pillow, thank you for that."

"Aw, Bombshell, you're so cute."

"And you're evil."

"I do what I can."

"TT?"

"Mm?"

"I want to kiss your stupid face, too."

"And you will soon enough."

"Not soon enough."

"Yes, but once it happens Bombshell, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

"No, neither do I."

"Are we making more promises?"

"Yes. Yes, we are."

"Mmm. Good. Good night, Bombshell."

"Good night, TT. I'll be home soon."

"The most comforting thought I'll have tonight."

[Call Disconnected]


	10. You Explain The Infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So on my wattpad I photoshopped Madelaine’s jacket black so it would look like Toni’s butttt I still don’t know how to insert photos here so here’s the photo I used but.... you know, just imagine it’s black

Monday AM

(9:02) -Cheryl-  
It's good to be home. Good to see Teddy intact.

(9:03) -Toni-  
Oh. So. You're in your house?

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
Uh. Yeah... I live here

(9:04) -Toni-  
Yeah, um... Ok. I'm sorry, Moony.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Why, what have you done to my house?

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
Do they have, like... drug testing kits at the supermarket?

(9:10) -Toni-  
Why would you think I know?

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
Out of you or Betty, I think you would know.

(9:12) -Toni-  
I don't, sorry, Moony. Why?

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
I'm thinking maybe the camp leaders laced me with something.

(9:14) -Toni-  
Like what?

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
Anything to make me hallucinate.

(9:15) -Toni-  
What are you seeing?

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
A black fish where there should be gold.

(9:18) -Toni-  
I'M SORRY MOONY.

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
I'm just

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
What the hell happened?

(9:19) -Toni-  
IT WAS SWEETPEA I SWEAR

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
I'm not mad, Toni. I'm just shocked.

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
It was only two weeks!

(9:21) -Toni-  
Pea left the window open and... the janitor's cat or another stray probably ate them.

(9:21) -Toni-  
I'M SORRY I KILLED SHEBA.

(9:23) -Cheryl-  
It's fine, Toni.

(9:23) -Cheryl-  
But why did you replace them?

(9:23) -Cheryl-  
No, let me rephrase.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
Why did you replace them incorrectly and then... continue to carry on?

(9:26) -Toni-  
Sweetpea, again.

(9:26) -Toni-  
Look, I told him he had to call you to apologise.

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
That's not necessary.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Really, Bombshell. We're so sorry.

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
It's fine, Toni, really.

(9:31) -Toni-  
I'm getting Sweetpea to call you right now.

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Toni!

[Answer Unknown]

"Uh, hello?"

"Hi, Cheryl. I'm really, very sorry for the homicide of your fish."

"It's alright, Sweetpea."

"And I'm sorry I tried to replace them. Badly."

"That is also alright."

"Please, don't hate me."

"I definitely don't. Why are you whispering?"

"I'm under a table. I'm in class."

"Get back to class, Sweetpea. I'm not that upset over a fish. Toni is being dramatic again."

"Still, I just want to make sure that we're ok. If we're gonna be brother and sister-in-laws one day then we have to be cool, you know – ow!"

"Did Toni hit you?"

"Yes."

"Good. Thank you for the fish, Sweetpea."

"Bye-a, Bombshell."

[Call Disconnected]

(9:40) -Toni-  
Sweetpea’s such an idiot

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
He's very insistent.

(9:42) -Toni-  
I think he's living vicariously.

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
What happened to that bitch?

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
I hate that I can't remember her name. And I hate it more that you have me calling her ‘that bitch’

(9:44) -Toni-  
HAHA We're not allowed to mention that bitch bc Sweetpea tripped in front of her the other day and now he's mortified.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
Poor Sweetpea.

(9:48) -Toni-  
The guy killed our fuckin fish, Moony. Blood for blood!

(9:48) -Cheryl-  
I think you're more distressed over Sheba than what I am. Do you want to talk about it?

(9:50) -Toni-  
No, I just feel bad that you entrusted me with your fish and I failed. I failed looking after a goldfish. That's the lowest of lows.

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
Toni, if you hadn't killed them then I would have eventually.

(9:53) -Toni-  
Still. So irresponsible that I killed a fish.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Toni?

(9:56) -Toni-  
Yeah?

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
Is this jacket yours?

(9:59) -Toni-  
Uh, what does it look like?

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
Leather. Small. Very, small.

(10:01) -Toni-  
Doesn't ring a bell.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
It has SOUTHSIDE SERPENTS in large letters on the back and a two headed snake.

(10:03) -Toni-  
...Might be mine.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
It was draped over the back of the chair.

(10:05) -Toni-  
Ah. I got tank water on it.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
It appears to be dry now.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
Do you write your full name on the tags of all your clothes?

(10:08) -Toni-  
Oh no

(10:08) -Toni-  
Shut up

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
How precious.

(10:11) -Toni-  
Stop

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Toni Morgan Topaz. In sharpie and all. Aw.

(10:12) -Toni-  
So it doesn't get lost, ok.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
I think your gang’s name would be a bit of a giveaway.

(10:14) -Toni-  
It's a habit, alright?

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
Do you do it on your bra straps too?

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
How about socks?

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god you label your socks.

(10:18) -Toni-  
Going from an orphanage to a group home to a big gang is hard!!!!

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I'm sure this is entirely the circumstances fault.

(10:20) -Toni-  
It totally is.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
I'm going out to brunch with Mrs. Cooler now. Talk to you later, Baby Toni.

(10:22) -Toni-  
I hate you.

*

Monday PM

(2:12) -Cheryl-  
Red alert.

(2:13) -Archie-  
WELCOME HOME!!

(2:14) -Cheryl-  
Yes, thank you. You'll be over tonight, right?

(2:14) -Archie-  
Yep. I have Love, Actually and 27 Dresses.

(2:15) -Betty-  
Ugh, why that one?

(2:16) -Archie-  
Because it’s good.

(2:16) -Betty-  
Fine. That's fine.

(2:18) -Betty-  
What's red alert?

(2:19) -Cheryl-  
I. Oh god.

(2:19) -Betty-  
What?

(2:21) -Cheryl-  
I possess an item of her clothing.

(2:21) -Archie-  
Betty’s? 

(2:22) -Cheryl-  
No, idiot, the other her.

(2:23) -Archie-  
!!!!! What!

(2:24) -Cheryl-  
She left her jacket here when she dropped off Sheba

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Ok, technically it's not Sheba anymore because her friend killed them

(2:26) -Cheryl-  
But still it's small and cute and leather and smells like motor oil and lilac and I need immediate help.

(2:28) -Betty-  
Oh my god, are you wearing it?

(2:28)-Cheryl-  
She has sugar cubes in her pockets.

(2:28) -Betty-  
You're totally wearing it.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
I may or may not be wearing it.

(2:29) -Archie-  
AHHHH

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
Do you see why I need immediate help!!?

(2:31) -Betty-  
You're so whipped, oh my god

(2:31) -Betty-  
Did she leave it there on purpose?

(2:32) -Cheryl-  
What? I don't know. she says she got tank water on it.

(2:33) -Betty-  
She totally left it there on purpose. So you would wear it.

(2:33) -Betty-  
You should send a photo.

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
BETTY NO

(2:35) -Betty-  
That's the PG version of the suggestion.

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
???

(2:36) -Betty-  
Photo of you in the jacket and nothing else?

(2:36) -Cheryl-  
I'm never telling you anything ever again.

(2:36) -Archie-  
Oh come on, do it!

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Ugh, you're both unbelievable.

(2:38) -Betty-  
Soooooo when's she coming to get the jacket?

(2:39) -Cheryl-  
Some time this weekend. For real, this time.

(2:39) -Archie-  
Is she coming to your house?

(2:40) -Betty-  
While you're actually there this time?

(2:41) -Cheryl-  
Ha-ha

(2:41) -Cheryl-  
But I don't know. Haven't worked that much out yet.

(2:43) -Betty-  
But it's actually going to happen this time?

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
That's the plan. It better happen this time.

(2:45) -Archie-  
Nervous?

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Not how I was before. More... anxious for it to happen already.

(2:46) -Betty-  
Whipped.

(2:48) -Cheryl-  
Shut up.

(2:49) -Betty-  
My photo idea still stands, you know.

(2:50) -Cheryl-  
I know. I expect I'll be hearing all about it tonight.

(2:51) -Betty-  
Make sure you do your hair before I get there.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
What for?

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Oh

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
NO BETTY.

(2:53) - Archie-  
YES BETTY

(2:55) -Betty-  
YES CHERYL, COME ON. SHE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

(2:55) -Cheryl-  
I'm. God. Oh god.

(2:56) -Betty-  
I won't take any unflattering pictures, Cheryl. I'm not that mean.

(2:58) -Cheryl-  
I'm wearing clothes, though.

(2:58) -Betty-  
If you weren't I wouldn't be offering to take the picture. I'm not that weird. You’re my cousin, God.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
Thank god.

(3:00) -Archie-  
So it's settled. SEE YOU TONIGHT!

(3:00) -Cheryl-  
I'm really going to regret this.

*

(5:45) -Cheryl-  
The new fish needs a new name.

(5:45) -Toni-  
Hang on dude, I'm in practice

*

(6:32) -Toni-  
Sorry.

(6:33) -Cheryl-  
That's ok. Dude, though?

(6:34) -Toni-  
Yeah, Idk. It felt weird saying it.

(6:34) -Toni-  
I mean, you're not exactly... a dude.

(6:34) - Toni-  
Like, obviously. But I call my friends dude and you’re clearly not a friend

(6:35) -Toni-  
Oh no, that sounds mean.

(6:35) -Toni-  
I mean, you are my friend but also. Crap.

(6:38) -Cheryl-  
No, I know what you mean.

(6:38) -Cheryl-  
I never know how to refer to you as to other people.

(6:39) -Toni-  
Ooo, you talk about me to other people?

(6:39) -Toni-  
Who aren't Betty or Archie?

(6:41) -Cheryl-  
I spent a fortnight with Lyon. She kept asking who I was texting.

(6:43) -Toni-  
What did you call me?

(6:43) -Toni-  
We already know you pulled the 'girlfriend' line with Archie

(6:45) -Cheryl-  
But that was an intimidation tactic!

(6:46) -Cheryl-  
I told Lyon you were someone I met online.

(6:48) -Toni-  
That's stretching it.

(6:50) -Cheryl-  
I know, but she seemed to accept it.

(6:50) -Toni-  
Now: new fish.

(6:52) -Cheryl-  
I feel like they need to be a tribute to the real Sheba.

(6:53) -Toni-  
Sheba 2.0?

(6:54) -Cheryl-  
Hmmmmm too long and wordy.

(6:58) -Cheryl-  
Sheba the Second? Goes with Toni the Third.

(6:58) -Toni-  
Oh god, you remembered that.

(6:58) -Toni-  
Sheba the Second sounds good though. Sheba 2 for short.

(7:00) -Cheryl-  
At least now I don't have to worry about you giving another one of my fish a ridiculous name.

(7:02) -Toni-  
Tell me you don't love the name Sheba.

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
It's grown on me.

(7:04) -Toni-  
I knew it!! Moony, my names are the best.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
Sure, sure. Whatever you say.

(7:06) -Cheryl-  
Ok, Betty and Archie are over and theyre getting cranky at me for not watching her movie.

(7:08) -Toni-  
What movie?

(7:08) -Cheryl-  
27 Dresses. Not as bad as originally thought, by me and Betty.

(7:09) -Toni-  
Ah, Archie’s choice. Still, youre a big sap, Cheryl.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I am.

(7:10) -Toni-  
What movie did you pick?

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
Oh no

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
Um

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
Love, Actually.

(7:13) -Toni-  
SAP

(7:14) -Cheryl-  
Yes, thank you Toni.

(7:15) -Toni-  
You're adorable.

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
You're patronizing. Bye TT!

(7:16) -Toni-  
Enjoy your movie, sappy.

*

Tuesday AM

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
I'm back to having to do actual work.

(9:10) -Toni-  
Homeschool work. Barely counts.

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
It does so count.

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
You piss the teacher off and they're mad at you for the entire day. In most cases. Mine is just some guy who would report back to my parents and I’d probably not receive dinner

(9:13) -Toni-  
Moony, how could you possibly piss anyone off?

(9:15) -Cheryl-  
Texting you, for one. A lot of people seem to get agitated at that.

(9:18) -Toni-  
It's bc they're jealous I'm taking all your attention.

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
Or they hate talking to the top of my head. Whichever.

(9:19) -Toni-  
If you're meant to be doing work then why are you texting me about doing work?

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
Because I don't want to do work.

(9:22) -Toni-  
Is my bad influence rubbing off on you?

(9:22) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Stop it.

(9:23) -Toni-  
No, no, I want to see how far this goes.

(9:25) -Cheryl-  
I'll be vandalizing walls soon.

(9:25) -Toni-  
Graffiti on tables?

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
It's the kitchen table, I think that just might be a death wish.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Especially if you draw boobs.

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
....Why would I draw boobs?

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
Is this a gay joke?

(9:29) -Toni-  
No? You went to a private school. Weren't there penises and boobs drawn everywhere?

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Couldn't tell. Lockers are awfully dark when the doors are closed.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Oh, Moony.

(9:32) -Toni-  
I'm sorry.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
It was a joke, don't worry, TT.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
I wasn't there very long and spent most of my time making sure I was doing the right thing, according to the rules and social expectations of being a teenager.

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
In other words, I was a bit distracted.

(9:36) -Toni-  
Well, believe me Moony, I'm not compensating for my own behavior and what it could possibly mean as a reflection of my own psychology when I say EVERYONE GRAFFITIES BOOBS

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
But whyyy?

(9:40) -Toni-  
I just don't know. I really don't know. It's a miracle if you sit at a desk and there isn't a dick drawn on the seat or a pair of boobs on the table

(9:41) -Cheryl-  
What about vaginas? Do they get their share in the graffiti adventure?

(9:43) -Toni-  
Hardly. If they ARE drawn it's mostly anatomically inaccurate. And usually attached to a body.

(9:44) -Cheryl-  
Excellent. School is just free pornography.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Yep, now that you mention it.

(9:48) -Cheryl-  
I have truly missed out.

(9:48) -Toni-  
You also get live demonstrations of couples making out during lunch.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
I've been to the movies with Betty and Archie when they were together. It's not as dark as you think it is in there.

(9:50) -Toni-  
Ew

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, it was. I threw popcorn at them and they didn't notice until one landed in Archie’s mouth

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
And then Betty accidentally ate it.

(9:52) -Toni-  
MOONY NO

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
Yes, it was gross!

(9:53) -Toni-  
WHY DID YOU SHARE THAT?

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Shared trauma experience. Makes it easier?

(9:58) -Toni-  
I don't feel easy. Queasy, maybe.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
She choked on it a little so it wasn't gross long. She started flailing.

(9:59) -Toni-  
HAH. A little better.

(10:00) -Cheryl-  
I sat between them thru their breakup and now it’s mostly a habit. 

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
TEACHERS BACK I NEED TO GO

(10:03) -Toni-  
Don't piss of the teacher, Moony!

*

(11:34) -Unknown-  
Heeeeeeello?

(11:34) -Toni-  
Uh

(11:35) -Toni-  
Hi

(11:35) -Toni-  
Who is this?

(11:35) -Unknown-  
Who is this?

(11:36) -Toni-  
I asked first, buddy. Plus YOU texted ME.

(11:38) -Unknown-  
Right. Fair point. Is this Toni?

(11:38) -Toni-  
Who the fuck is this

(11:38) -Toni-  
If this is you Malach, I'm going to punch your fucking face in.

(11:39) -Unknown-  
Woah, woah, no.

(11:39) -Unknown-  
It's Betty!!! Cheryl's friend? And cousin? She says she's mentioned me.

(11:40) -Toni-  
Oh God

(11:40) -Toni-  
Betty

(11:41) -Toni-  
I'm so sorry

(11:41) -Toni-  
Please don't tell Cheryl I threatened to punch you

(11:41) -Toni-  
I'm sorry I threatened to punch you

(11:43) -Betty-  
That's ok. I really don't want to be Malach at the moment, though.

(11:43) -Toni-  
You'd never want to be Malachai.

(11:45) -Toni-  
What's up?

(11:45) -Toni-  
Oh God, is Cheryl ok?

(11:46) -Betty-  
Cheryl is fine.

(11:48) -Betty-  
She doesn't actually know I'm texting you thought so please don't tell her.

(11:49) -Toni-  
Right. Ok. Well, it depends what you're texting me for, I think.

(11:50) -Betty-  
Wow, Cheryl was right. You're so noble.

(11:50) -Betty-  
Uh

(11:50) -Betty-  
It's her birthday next week.

(11:52) -Toni-  
Oh yeah. Right...

(11:52) -Betty-  
I was planning a party. Not like a party party, but a get together.

(11:54) -Toni-  
Okay

(11:54) -Betty-  
Next Tuesday? Her parents are taking her out on some weird... Blossom transition thing or someone on her birthday so we get the day after

(11:55) -Betty-  
Was going to be the day before but Cheryl told me extensively of your schedule so I know you have cheerleading.

(11:55) -Betty-  
That's creepy. Ignore that.

(11:56) -Toni-  
Ok. Um. Is this an invitation?

(11:58) -Betty-  
No, this is a command. You have to be there.

(11:59) -Toni-  
Well, who else is going to be there? You.

(11:59) -Betty-  
Archie. I've also stolen Lyon's number from Cheryl’s phone. She seems... great A few other people we've met over the years. Maybe you could bring your friends.

(12:01) -Toni-  
My impression is that this is... a surprise?

(12:01) -Betty-  
Yes.

(12:01) -Betty-  
So no mentioning it to Cheryl.

(12:02) -Toni-  
Absolutely not.

(12:02) -Toni-  
Will her parents be there?

(12:03) -Betty-  
You nervous about meeting her parents?

(12:04) -Toni-  
Is that so weird? I’ve heard their pretty fucking awful

(12:05) -Betty-  
Grandma Blossom is lovely. Penelope and Clifford are...Opinionated. And fucking awful. But no they won't be there.

(12:06) -Toni-  
Ok. I think I can do that.

(12:08) -Betty-  
Of course you can, trooper.

(12:08) -Betty-  
Don't worry, we're not going to leave you to be awkward in the corner by yourself. Which is why your friends are invited. And because Cheryl seems to like them.

(12:08) -Toni-  
Ok. Yeah, thanks. Where?

(12:09) -Betty-  
Meet us in front of Pop’s. You know the place?

(12:09) -Toni-  
Betty, I practically live there.

(12:10) -Betty-  
Cool. 7pm?

(12:10) -Toni-  
7pm Tuesday. Got it.

(12:12) -Betty-  
Good. And remember, no telling Cheryl. Even remotely.

(12:14) -Toni-  
Right. My lips are sealed.

*  
(12:15) - Toni-  
Boys, were going to a party. 

*  
Tuesday PM

(8:12) -Archie-  
Have you done it?

(8:13) -Cheryl-  
No.

(8:15) -Archie-  
Cheryl!

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
What do I do? Just... send it??

(8:18) -Betty-  
...Yes?

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
No set up? No introduction?

(8:19) -Betty-  
You're sending a photo not writing an essay.

(8:19) -Cheryl-  
God, no, I can't do it.

(8:21) -Betty-  
Do I have to come over there and send it myself?

(8:21) -Cheryl-  
Maybe. I don't think I can.

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
WHAT IF SHE GETS MAD THAT I'M TOUCHING HER STUFF?

(8:23) -Betty-  
If she was so worried about that she shouldn't have left it there in the first place.

(8:24) -Archie-  
Also, you're lucky I didn't make a joke out of 'touching her stuff'.

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
Ok, I'm going to do it.

(8:25) -Archie-  
DO IT

(8:26) -Cheryl-  
I'm doing it.

*

(8:30) - Cheryl-  
*1 Image Attached*

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dd5qyx2VwAAvOcz.jpg

*

(8:30) -Cheryl-  
I did it.

(8:31) -Betty-  
Good.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
Oh Jesus Christ why did I do it??

*

(8:32) -Toni-  
Fjffhyd

*

(8:33) -Archie-  
What did she say?

(8:33) -Cheryl-  
Uh... it's incoherent.

(8:33) -Cheryl-  
I don't know if that's a good sign.

(8:34) -Betty-  
Oh yeah, because people always keyboard smash when they're upset, right?.

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
I don't need your sarcasm right now. It's not easing my paranoia.

(8:35) -Archie-  
Sorry. It’s a gay thing, trust me. 

(8:35) - Betty-  
Totally a fat thing 

(8:36) - Betty-  
Wait, doesn’t Reggie keyboard smash at you all the time?

(8:36) - Archie-  
We don’t talk about that. So, any update?

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
Hang on.

*

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
What was that?

(8:36) -Toni-  
No I think I need to ask WHAT WAS THAT?

(8:36) -Cheryl-  
Uh

(8:36) -Toni-  
Bombshell, you're going to kill me, you know.

(8:38) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry?

(8:38) -Toni-  
Holy crap, Cheryl, now is not the time for apologies.

(8:38) -Toni-  
This is better than anything I could have ever expected.

(8:38) -Cheryl-  
...Oh?

(8:39) -Toni-  
You look really hot in my jacket

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
Oh

*

(8:38) -Betty-  
Well??

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
I'm. Not sharing.

(8:39) -Archie-  
OH MY GOD

*

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
And you say I'm the unfair one

(8:40) -Toni-  
Holy fuck I'm

(8:41) -Toni-  
To answer your earlier question, I dropped my phone on my face.

(8:41) -Cheryl-  
What??

(8:43) -Toni-  
I was so shocked at the picture that I dropped the phone on my face. And my nose typed out some letters.

(8:43) -Toni-  
Letters which really resonate to how I'm feeling.

(8:44) -Toni-  
I don't think I can say anything other than 'oh'

(8:45) -Cheryl-  
I know and honestly it's making things worse.

(8:46) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
Not helping.

(8:48) -Cheryl-  
Now I'm torn between stopping to save my own blushing face or continuing your pain.

(8:48)-Toni-  
....Is it too inappropriate to say 'no, Cheryl, don't stop'?

(8:48) -Cheryl-  
Oh fucking hell, Toni.

(8:49) -Toni-  
Bombshell, do you even have a filter?

(8:49) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry if my brain is short-circuiting at the moment.

(8:50) -Toni-  
Same

(8:50) -Toni-  
Give me warning next time.

(8:51) -Cheryl-  
I knew it.

(8:52) -Toni-  
“Hey TT, just letting you know in an hour's advance that I'm going to get a little sexy soon."

(8:52) -Cheryl-  
That's pushing it.

(8:52) -Toni-  
Don't underestimate the power of your prowess, Bombshell.

*

(8:50) -Betty-  
So would we say it was a success?

(8:53) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(8:53) -Betty-  
Told you so.

(8:54) -Cheryl-  
Yes, yes, you are the wisest one.

(8:54) -Betty-  
And don't you forget it.

(8:55) -Cheryl-  
Bitch.

*

(8:56) -Toni-  
I have to sleep before I combust.

(8:56) -Cheryl-  
Ha, yeah. Yeah, same, ok.

(8:58) -Toni-  
No, I don't think I'll be able to sleep.

(8:58) -Cheryl-  
Nor I, but I have to try.

(8:59) -Toni-  
Ok. Yeah. Uh. Thank you?

(9:00) -Cheryl-  
Um. That's ok. Good night, TT.

(9:01) -Toni-  
Good night, Bombshell.

*

Wednesday AM

(9:25) -Juggy-  
Toni, which questions did McG tell us to do?

(9:26) -Toni-  
Uhhhh

(9:26) -Toni-  
I don't know.

(9:26) -Toni-  
I wasn't paying attention.

(9:27) -Juggy-  
I noticed. You've been distracted all morning.

(9:27) -Juggy-  
Is it because of tomorrow?

(9:29) -Toni-  
No? What's tomorrow?

(9:29) -Juggy-  
Don't play dumb.

(9:30) -Toni-  
Honestly, what's tomorrow?

(9:31) -Juggy-  
What are you looking at?

(9:32) -Toni-  
Dude, what's with the questions?

(9:32) -Juggy-  
I'm sitting directly behind you, dumbass, and when I'm not texting you, you're just staring

(9:32) -Juggy-  
HANG ON IS THAT

(9:32) -Toni-  
WHY ARE YOU STARING OVER MY SHOULDER YOU FUCKING CREEP

(9:32) -Juggy-  
CHERYL?

(9:33) -Toni-  
I'M MOVING SEATS, WHAT THE HELL?

(9:34) -Juggy-  
IS THAT YOUR BACKGROUND?

(9:34) -Toni-  
I'M ENDING THIS IMMEDIATELY

(9:35) -Juggy-  
AW TONI DON'T BE MAD

(9:35) -Juggy-  
WAIT IS THAT YOUR FUCKIN SERPENT JACKET? IVE BEEN WONDERING WHERE IT WENT

(9:36) -Toni-  
You're creepy. Like, really creepy, man.

(9:36) -Juggy-  
I wasn't doing it on purpose, relax.

(9:37) -Juggy-  
But wait until I tell Fangs.

(9:37) -Toni-  
NO

(9:38) -Juggy-  
He'll die.

(9:38) -Juggy-  
Can I see the picture properly?

(9:40) -Toni-  
No, you lost all rights.

(9:40) -Juggy-  
Possessive.

*

(9:40) -Juggy-  
Have you jerked off to it yet?

(9:41) -Toni-  
Fuck off.

(9:41) -Juggy-  
That answers that question.

*

(10:04) -Toni-  
We should talk about the weekend.

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
Yes, good idea.

(10:06) -Toni-  
Any ideas?

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
My parents aren't going to be home Saturday morning.

(10:08) -Toni-  
MOONY

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
What?

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
Oh

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
That's suggestive.

(10:11) -Toni-  
No kidding.

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
Just come and get your stupid jacket from my house on Saturday morning, ok?

(10:13) -Toni-  
That was direct.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
I can't allow alternative interpretations.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Only if that's acceptable to you.

(10:15) -Toni-  
Yeah, that works fine for me.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Also that way I'll definitely be there this time. That jacket is my life.

(10:17) -Toni-  
It'll be weird being in your house while you're there too.

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Ha-ha. You know if anyone were to read these messages they’d think you’re stalking me

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Though I admit, It'll be weird having you in my house and with you already knowing where everything is.

(10:20) -Toni-  
Not true. I held in a piss the first time I was there bc I didn't want to ask where the bathroom was.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
TT, you fool

(10:22) -Toni-  
At least I didn't piss on your bed or anything.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Thank God.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
You sound more like a dog each day.

(10:25) -Toni-  
Woof.

(10:26) -Cheryl-  
9am sound good?

(10:28) -Toni-  
God, Bombshell! How early do you want me to wake up on a weekend?

(10:30) -Cheryl-  
You'll get over it. They'll definitely be gone by 9 and home maybe midday.

(10:31) -Toni-  
Fine, I'll sacrifice my beauty sleep for you.

(10:33) -Cheryl-  
Beauty sleep? Is that what you call it?

(10:34) -Toni-  
Don't you have work to do?

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Don't you?

(10:35) -Toni-  
I would if you'd stop talking to me.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Well, stop replying.

(10:36) -Toni-  
I have to have the last word, Moony, you know that.

*

Wednesday PM

(2:45) -Betty-  
Candles?

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
Betty.

(2:46) -Betty-  
A bungee jump experience?

(2:46) -Cheryl-  
Stop it.

(2:46) -Betty-  
A purse.

(2:47) -Cheryl-  
I don't want anything!!

(2:47) -Betty-  
You're turning 18, Cheryl, of course I need to get you something! And since it can't be the usual 18 year old things...

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
Get me a lottery ticket then.

(2:50)-Betty-  
Laaaaaaame.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Then honestly I'm not fussed.

(2:53) -Betty-  
What if I got Lover Girl to pop out of a cake?

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
I'd be more impressed if you could pull her out of a hat.

(2:55) -Betty-  
So... Magic tricks, huh?

(2:57) -Cheryl-  
Unless it's real magic, I'm not interested.

(2:57) -Toni-  
Why are you being so difficult?

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
Because I don't want you to waste money on me. I have enough money to afford basically anything.

(3:01) -Betty-  
No money is being wasted! And it’s different when someone else is paying for it.That's the whole point of asking what you want. And it can't just be books this year.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
But that's all I ever want.

(3:03) -Betty-  
But this year is special.

(3:04) -Cheryl-  
Then get me a stripper and leave it alone.

(3:04) -Betty-  
Don't tempt me, Cheryl Blossom.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
In no universe would you be allowed to do that.

(3:07) -Betty-  
Oh, you bet I can. And you piss me off even more then it'll be a male stripper, too.

(3:09) -Cheryl-  
...I'll think of something.

(3:09) -Betty-  
Good cousin.

*

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
I literally got threatened with strippers.

(3:43) -Toni-  
As long as you weren't threatened BY strippers.

(3:43) -Toni-  
But what for?

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
Betty is mad because I won't give her any decent ideas for a birthday present.

(3:45) -Toni-  
Oh right.

(3:46) -Toni-  
So, what do you want?

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
Oh God, no, not you too.

(3:48) -Toni-  
Nah, I'm just kidding. I already know what I'm getting you.

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
TT!! No, please.

(3:48) -Toni-  
NOPE TOO LATE already decided. Too bad, Cheryl.

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
Toni, really.

(3:50) -Toni-  
Really, Cheryl, come on. I love celebrating birthdays. Never got to as a kid.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
Really?

(3:51) -Toni-  
Uh huh. My parents didn't really do the birthday thing while they were alive. Wasn't until I met Jughead that I realized birthdays were actually a thing.

(3:52) -Cheryl  
Oh, okay. Wow. 

(3:52) -Toni-  
Yeah, so be quiet and accept the present.

(3:54) -Cheryl-  
Ugh, fine, ok. And if it makes you feel better, i didn’t celebrate either. JJ was always celebrated, I was more so overlooked. Which was fine. 

(3:55) -Toni-  
Well, then this one will be amazing. Detention and then practice now. Can I call you when I'm done?

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Yes, of course. But why the detention?

(3:56) -Toni-  
Ehh, punched a kid in the hall. 

(3:56) - Cheryl-  
Toni Topaz!

(3:37) Cool. Call you later. Bye Bombshell!!!

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
Have fun, idiot.

(3:58) It's McG and Pom Poms. How much fun could I possibly have?

*

[Calling Cheryl]

"Hello, old sport."

"H-what?"

"Sorry, I've been reading the Great Gatsby. I don't exactly know why I was compelled to call you that, though."

"Better than the time I called you dude."

"Or sugar titties?”

"Oh, God, don't remind me. I must have sounded like such a tool."

"Not at all. I kept talking to you, didn't I?"

"I’m guessing out of some kind of obligation."

"What? That's ridiculous. What kind of obligation would I have to a stranger?"

"Well... I... guess that's true."

"I'm surprised you kept messaging me, to be honest. I was... a little cold."

"You were in a weird home-made hospital in your shitty home with your shitty parents.”

"Didn't mean I had to be a dick."

"You weren't a dick!"

"Then you weren't a tool, either."

"Huh. Fine, ok."

"So are you still good for Saturday?"

"Are we doing this again?"

"It would be reassuring."

"I'm still good for Saturday. I'd see you now if I could."

"Mm, me too."

"Ride over on my bike, carrying a radio over my head..."

"Don't you dare set fire to my lawn or anything. It’s in pristine condition at all times.”

"Fine, buzzkill. Not even if it said 'will you go to prom with me'?"

"Not even then. Sorry."

"You don't sound sorry at all."

"It's because I'm not. Don't set fire to my lawn. My parents would kill me."

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve seen it. It’s great.”

"What are they like? Your parents, I mean."

"Oh. Well. Uh..."

"Besides awful. You don't have to get awkward just because my parents are disgusting."

"What – I, no, just. I don't know how to describe them. I was young when they died. And I’ve said some bad shit about them.”

"Oh. Well, even parents are human, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. But even so, they were more than my parents. They were also my doctors, my teachers, my safety. They would give up their bed to me and Malachai when we were living in a one bedroom. Give us the food off their plates when there wasn’t any money to buy even a packet of sugar. Not a lot of room for them to be just parents to me, I guess.”

"Well, when my mom couldn’t sleep when we were young she would get up and bake for a few hours until she fell asleep at the kitchen table and the oven is on fire. She can’t really cook for shit. That’s why she has someone do it for her.”

"My mom can fall asleep at the drop of a hat after years of listening to all kinds of sounds outside her door, or sleeping bag or whatever. She always falls asleep when we watch movies, but pretends she knows what happened during it. She makes up some good plots."

"My dad once spent an entire summer weeding the garden until he realized it was the carrots he planted a few months earlier. He gave that little hobby up quickly after. Did it to seem more appealing.”

"That must have been a pain in his ass."

"He kept swearing under his breath and become comically angry whenever we had steamed carrots for dinner. Maybe that was the start of his rage.”

"That's just mocking him."

"We were. Mom got the cook to do it on purpose."

"Cruelty. That's where you get it from."

"What about your dad?"

"My dad spends the summer cooking all the time. He stockpiles meals and then freezes them. Not quite growing carrots but my mum often comments that it's like an animal stocking up for hibernation. We're not allowed near the kitchen while he cooks, or he starts chasing us with a spatula. Okay, It was mainly frozen TV dinners over a tiny dinky barbecue on our front step but still.”

"Truly fearsome."

"An overpowering figure, indeed."

"He didn’t... You said he doesn't know about you, yeah?"

"Oh, no. Mum does, because she cleans my room when I'm not there."

"Jesus."

"Yeah, it was quite the conversation. She didn't mind at all."

"But your dad would?"

"Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. Hes super loving, dont get me wrong... Mum's tried to gently probe his response to it but... nothing very promising so far."

"You Uh... you’re talking about your parents in present tense.”

“Was I?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh... I just haven’t talked about them in a long time, not more than a few words at least... guess the memories just came flooding back.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you can tell me personal things like that.”

“Yeah... so, your parents dont know about you, yeah?”

"We've had this conversation before, TT."

"Yeah, I know. But still. That's gotta – I mean, it must be-"

"Only when they make unsavory comments. Otherwise it doesn't bother me."

"..."

"It bothers you."

"Yes. I don't like the idea of him making 'unsavory' comments and your sarcasm can't shine through."

"It is a considerable mental strain, I will admit. Why the questions about my parents?"

"Oh, no reason really. I mean, it's parent-teacher interviews tomorrow. Everyone's parents will be here."

"Oh...”

"So basically I have the day off."

"Lucky you. I imagine you will spend your time productively."

"I'm going patrolling for counter-pranksters."

"Parents will be there. Their parents. They'll be on their best behavior."

"Or they'll set something up beforehand and wreak havoc on unsuspecting parents."

"So, will you be the Parent Protector?"

"If they need it, maybe. Unless my uncles and aunts are in the crossfires. Then I might conveniently let it continue."

"Sounds wise. Keeps you out of harm's way.”

“Exactly. Can’t get injured again when we’re about to meet.”

“When your parents...."

“You can say died. It’s not a bad word.”

“Right, that. Um... why didn’t your uncles or aunts take you in?”

“They hates my parents. I couldn’t tell you why. They always have. And my grandpa is waaaaay too old and crippled to take care of my ass.”

“Toni!” 

“What?? Hes in a wheelchair! 

“Anywayssss. Are you still good for Saturday?"

"Still all good. I should get ready to sleep, or something."

"Me too. Good night, TT."

"Good night, Bombshell."

*

Thursday AM

(9:51) -Toni-  
No sign of counter-pranksters yet.

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
Biding their time?

(9:53) -Toni-  
Or dormant. We just don't know.

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
How are you scouting for them?

(9:54) -Toni-  
Uh

(9:54) -Toni-  
Don't freak out, Moony.

(9:55) -Toni-  
But I'm sitting on the rafters in the gym.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
You mean your sitting on poles dangling off a ceiling?

(9:55) -Toni-  
Yes.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
A high ceiling?

(9:56) -Toni-  
Yes.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
And you want me to not freak out?

(9:57) -Toni-  
Yes.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
You have high expectations.

(9:59) -Toni-  
Was that a pun?

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
Don't try to diffuse the situation. You're going to kill yourself like this. Through reckless activity.

(10:00) -Toni-  
But I've got such a great view from up here!

(10:01) -Cheryl-  
Can you see any counter-prankster activity yet?

(10:02) -Toni-  
Honestly?, no.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Oh, what a shame. Either get down or get a harness.

(10:02) -Toni-  
Keep a hold on that thought, Moony, Fangs is calling me.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Toni!

*

[Answer: Juggy Jones]

"Hello, this is Topaz’ sperm donors, you wank it we bank it. How can I help you?"

"Dude, where are you?"

"I'm up in the rafters. I can see your big head from here – hellooooo!"

"Well, can you get down?"

"You sound like Moony. I'm scoping for the counter-pranksters."

"No, Toni, we've got interviews. You know, the whole point of today?"

"Cole, if you honestly expect me to attend interviews with them."

"What's wrong with them? Oh, hang on-"

"Jug, really?"

"No, no, Toni, not them. My dad is here for both of us, dude."

"What?"

"Come on, don't be a dick. You have to get in trouble for all the stupid shit we've been doing this year, too."

"Oh. Yeah, ok. I'll be there in a moment."

"Cool. Hurry up. And don't slip."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
Counter-prankster update?

(10:22) -Toni-  
Nah, hang on.

(10:26) -Toni-  
Sorry, Jugs’ dad is here. Hes , uh, here for me too?

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Good. Now he gets to hear all the stupid stuff you've been up to.

(10:27) -Toni-  
You and Fangs are sounding alarmingly like each other. I don't want to analyse that.

(10:28) -Toni-  
We're seeing Phillips now. This is the big one.

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
Will he tell about Operation Salt?

(10:29) -Toni-  
No, but FP is ready to blow about him reading out my messages.

(10:29) -Toni-  
Jug told him in case I got suspended.

(10:30) -Cheryl-  
Right. Go get him, Mr.Jones.

*

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Does my bedroom look too... Medieval?

(10:39) -Archie-  
What? I don't know. No.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
That was entirely useless to me.

(10:41) -Betty-  
If this is a Lover Girl thing, then you might want to consider the fact that SHE'S ALREADY BEEN THERE.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
I could always put it down to me having to pack my things up. So, when he comes back and it's... different...

(10:42) -Betty-  
What, do you mean like candles? Rose petals on the bed sheets?

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Oh no.

(10:43) -Archie-  
Oh, yes.

(10:43) -Archie-  
That's what you're sounding like.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
Forget I asked. Oh my god.

(10:45) -Archie-  
What's your plan in that department, anyway?

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
What do you mean, my plan?

(10:47) -Archie-  
Well, is there going to be senseless making out upon first meeting?

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Archie.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
I don't know!

(10:49) -Archie-  
Surely you've thought about it!

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
Obviously. But I don't know what my expectations for reality are.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
I guess it's also up to her, right?

(10:52) -Archie-  
By the sounds of it, the girl’s fully charged and ready to go.

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
I don't want this conversation to happen.

(10:53) -Betty-  
Too bad, it's happening.

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
Nooo

(10:56) -Archie-  
Yes, come on. You need a plan. A man with a plan gets shit done, you know?

(10:57) -Cheryl-  
I don't know what my plan is. Getting her here is mostly the main objective.

(10:58) -Betty-  
And once she's there?

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
...Talking to her? Returning her jacket.

(10:59) -Betty-  
And then standing around awkwardly because both of you are idiots.

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
That's a bit harsh.

(11:02) -Betty-  
It's the truth. Now I'm going to ask again: how far do you want it to go?

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
I-I don't know, Betty. How could I possibly know until she's here?

(11:04) -Archie-  
Animalistic instinct?

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Eating her?

(11:05) -Archie-  
Woah, Cher

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
Fuck – you know what I mean by that.

(11:06) -Betty-  
Fine, what about primal urges?

(11:06) -Cheryl-  
Are you both Freud now?

(11:07) -Betty-  
Yes. Tell me your darkest secrets and I'll tell you it's because you want to sleep with your mother.

(11:07) -Cheryl-  
I don't really know if it's something I can talk to you about.

(11:08) -Archie-  
What's that suppose to mean?

(11:09) -Betty-  
Oh is it

(Archie Has Been Unadded From Thhis Groupchat)

(11:09) -Betty-  
Is this because of the Archie thing?

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
A little, I guess.

(11:11) -Betty-  
Tell me. I won't mind.

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
Well

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
Kissing someone and then having them ask someone else out doesn't exactly fill anyone with confidence.

(11:14) -Betty-  
I don't think Lover Girl would have kept this going for so long just to leave you after a hook up.

(11:14) -Cheryl-  
I still don't exactly have much else to base my experiences on.

(11:16) -Betty-  
Do I have to talk clichés to you?

(11:16) -Cheryl-  
That's usually my job.

(11:16) -Betty-  
History never repeats.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
What if I have a plan, and she also has a plan, and our plans clash and something goes wrong?

(11:17) -Betty-  
Maybe you should talk to her about what your plans are.

(11:19) -Cheryl-  
“Toni, should we hook up when we meet? Just making sure I've got it scheduled in."

(11:19) -Betty-  
Don't be so obvious. Just. maybe try and gage what her expectations for this hangout are.

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
How?!

(11:21) -Betty-  
I don't know... Maybe... Ask what you guys should do at your house. Like watch a movie or whatever.

(11:22) -Cheryl-  
How is that going help...

(11:23) -Betty-  
Well if she says maybe you guys should just talk she's already got things in mind that don't involve movies.

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
This really isn't putting me at ease at all.

(11:25) -Betty-  
Oh, is that what I was meant to do? Archie’s the romantic, not me.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Funny. Fangs is like Archie and Jughead is like you.

(11:26) - Betty-  
What the fuck is a Jughead?

(11:26) - Cheryl-  
Okay, I hate you. Good bye.

(11:27) - Betty-  
Just try it out!

(11:27) - Cheryl-  
Byeee Betty 

(11:26) -Betty-  
My advice is solid. Don't you forget it.

*

(11:20) -Toni  
FP shouted so much that Principal Honey came over to see what was happening and now Phillips has to be extra nice to me or he'll be suspended from his job.

(11:21) -Toni-  
This is so much better than Operation Salt.

(11:21) -Toni-  
Ok, maybe not that much better. But still satisfying.

(11:22) -Cheryl-  
FP doesn't do anything half-hearted, does he?

(11:23) -Toni-  
No, he doesn’t. Hes incredible.

(11:23) -Toni-  
OH MY GOD CHERYL?

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
Yes??

(11:24) -Toni-  
MOLLY IS HERE

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
WHAT?

(11:25) -Toni-  
SHE'S HERE WITH JOAQUIN AND HIS BROTHER

(11:26) -Toni-  
WHY IS SHE HERE WITH JOAQUIN AND HIS BROTHER THOUGHT YOU SAID HER KIDS WERE YOUNG

(11:26) -Cheryl-  
THEY ARE!

(11:26) -Toni-  
She's spotted me here we go

(11:27) -Toni-  
Oh my God.

(11:35) -Toni-  
The boys were a little confused. And a little protective. Jesus.

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
How do they know her??

(11:36) -Toni-  
She's their sister!

(11:36) -Toni-  
Oh no oh no

(11:37) -Cheryl-  
What now?!

[Answer: Toni]

"Hello? Yes?"

"Hi.”

"Uh... what?"

"Oh, sorry, it's FP, Toni says she's mentioned me."

"Uh, yeah. I mean, yes, hello Mr. Jones."

"Hey, Cheryl. I just thought I should say hello to the girl who – Toni, hush up, I'm trying to talk to her."

"I'm – we're not –"

"It's my understanding that Toni will be visiting your house on Saturday."

"If – if that's ok?"

“Yeah. Will your parents be there, I should probably talk to them... fuckin’ Blossoms.”

"Uh-"

"Hang on, sorry, Toni is being a pain in the ass."

"O-ok."

"Hm. Toni says your parents don't know about this and that they won't be there."

"Uh – I feel like I should tell you it's not what it sounds like."

"That’s fine, don’t want another Topaz ‘round your parents. No offence. Uh, ahem, regardless, I feel like it's important I talk to you about the importance of practicing safe-"

"Woah, Mr. J, that's all good! Right, Cheryl, it's all good? I'm holding the phone to his ear now."

"It's definitely all good. Better than good."

"Right? Cheryl will wear a chastity belt."

"Why do I have to?"

"Moony, go with it, please."

"I'll wear three chastity belts."

"See, FP? It's fine. Alllllll fine."

"All very much fine."

"Ok, bye, Moony."

"B-"

“Hold up, there.”

“I-oh okay.”

“Yeah, FP here again. Just want you to know if you break my little Toni’s heart I’m going to beat the livin-“

“OKAY BYE CHER.”

[Call Disconnected]

*

Thursday PM

(1:45) -Toni-  
Im so sorry and completely mortified.

(1:45) -Cheryl-  
I am confused and a little shaken.

(1:47) -Toni-  
Yeah, he has that affect on people. That’s why he’s the Serpent leader.

(1:47) -Cheryl-  
Oh, he’s fine. But very... To the point.

(1:49) -Toni-  
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

(1:49) -Toni-  
Molly explained how she knew me and Jug mentioned how I'll actually be seeing you this week and... Well, FP insisted he had a chat with you.

(1:50) -Cheryl-  
So this is Jughead’s fault, yes?

(1:51) -Toni-  
Correct. Absolutely. 100%

(1:52) -Cheryl-  
But, you're still allowed to come over... right?

(1:54) -Toni-  
Yeah, Moony, totally. He was mostly making fun. I know for a fact he threw Fangs condoms when he told him he started dating Somgbird. He’s just a bit protective.

(1:55) -Cheryl-  
This makes me feel a little better.

(1:55) -Toni-  
It should. He didn't even say anything. Just condoms.

(1:58) -Cheryl-  
What a remarkable man. It's surreal, though.

(1:58) -Toni-  
What is?

(1:59) -Cheryl-  
Molly being Joaquin’s sister. You know them. Me knowing Molly.

(1:59) -Toni-  
We were always just one connection away.

(1:59) -Toni-  
We were always meant to end up here, then.

(2:00) -Cheryl-  
Yes. I like that.

(2:00) -Cheryl-  
I was wondering... what exactly are we going to do on Saturday?

(2:00) -Toni-  
If not having sex, you mean?

(2:01) -Cheryl-  
Why do I always get trapped like this?

(2:02) -Toni-  
You're too innocent, Bombshell. Like a puppy.

(2:03) -Cheryl-  
Or you're just looking for it now.

(2:04) -Toni-  
You get all flustered, it's cute.

(2:04) -Cheryl-  
Cute?

(2:05) -Toni-  
Yeah, I'm sticking by that.

(2:06) -Cheryl-  
Whatever you say.

(2:06) -Toni-  
Does that Play Station in your room still work?

(2:08) -Cheryl-  
Yes, it works.

(2:08) -Cheryl-  
What do you mean by 'still'? 'Still works'?

(2:10) -Toni-  
Moony, the thing's ancient.

(2:11) -Cheryl-  
It's done well by me.

(2:13) -Toni-  
Well used, I'm sure.

(2:13) -Toni-  
What games do you have?

(2:14) -Cheryl-  
Uh. Crash Bandicoot and Need For Speed.

(2:16) -Toni-  
Soooooo ancient.

(2:16) -Cheryl-  
Be quiet.

(2:18) -Toni-  
I look forward to playing your ancient games on your ancient machine.

(2:20) -Cheryl-  
Is now the time to tell you it's vintage?

(2:21) -Toni-  
Hipster.

(2:22) -Cheryl-  
I prefer collector 

(2:23) -Toni-  
Will you be wearing the glasses on Saturday?

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Oh, God, no. 

(2:25) -Toni-  
Whyyyy noooot

(2:26) -Cheryl-  
Because I won't be reading.

(2:27) -Toni-  
You're killing me, Moons.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
It was my aim all along.

(2:30) -Toni-  
Josie is calling for early training, the fucking bitch. I'll talk to you later.

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Have fun running, or something.

(2:31) -Cheryl-  
Try not to strain yourself thinking of my legs.

(2:32) -Toni-  
I'll manage.

*

(9:56) -Toni-  
Good night, Moony.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Sleep well, TT.

*

Friday AM

(8:56) -Toni-  
So the counter-pranksters didn't show yesterday. It's been a while since they've done something.

(8:57) -Cheryl-  
Maybe they are dormant?

(8:57) -Toni-  
Or planning something big.

(8:59) -Cheryl-  
Is there some kind of event going on over there?

(9:05) -Toni-  
Just the final on Sunday. Southside verse Northside.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Be careful, then.

(9:07) -Toni-  
They wouldn't dare. Would they? Who in their right mind would sabotage a football game?

(9:07) -Toni-  
Actually, don't answer that.

(9:07) -Cheryl-  
Why not?

(9:08) -Toni-  
You would think it's funny, wouldn't you? You're not really into sports.

(9:08) -Cheryl-  
How dare you. I like to watch sports.

(9:09) -Toni-  
Moony, perving on the cheerleaders does not count as liking sports

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
I know, Betty keeps trying to tell me.

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
Do you think they'll do something on Sunday?

(9:11) -Toni-  
I don't know. God, I hope not. I have Northsiders to punch.

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Punching them would get your friends disqualified from the game, and you in a lot of trouble

(9:13) -Toni-  
It would feel good, though.

(9:15) -Cheryl-  
You say I'm the violent one.

(9:17) -Toni-  
We can both me mobsters. Gang partners in crime.

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
Can I have a serpent jacket too?

(9:18) -Toni-  
Hmmm might just have to get you a red one.

(9:19) -Toni-  
And we'd all ride around on our motorcycles terrorizing people.

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
You don't already do that?

(9:21) -Toni-  
I do not terrorize people.

(9:22) -Cheryl-  
Your illegal driving is terrifying enough.

(9:23) -Toni-  
Ha-ha. My driving is fine.

(9:23) -Toni-  
I wear a helmet and everything.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
Is this meant to be reassuring? It's not very reassuring.

(9:25) -Toni-  
I'll take you driving one day and you'll see.

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
No, please, don't.

(9:27) -Toni-  
Bombshell, I won't kill you.

(9:27) -Cheryl-  
Won't you?

(9:29) -Toni-  
Not on purpose!

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
You're not very good at being reassuring.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Ech, I have to do work now.

(9:32) -Toni-  
It's ok, Cheryl. It will all be over soon.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
...

(9:32) -Toni-  
That was me trying to be reassuring.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Work on that.

(9:34) -Toni-  
Will do.

(9:45) - Toni-  
Also, youve never told me what school Archie and Betty go to

(9:45) - Toni-  
Are they homeschooled too?

(9:53) - Cheryl-  
Nope. Riverdale High.

(9:54) - Toni-  
Oh, shit.

(9:58) - Cheryl-  
Don’t worry, they hate everyone there. And sports.  
Well no, Archie loves football but hates the players so he refuses to try out. 

(10:00) - Toni-  
Huh.Well... alrighty then!

*

Friday MIDDAY

(12:39) -Toni-  
Moony, I have a strong suspect.

(12:39) -Cheryl-  
Foot pursuit in action.

(12:39) -Toni-  
I have Operative Fangs with me.

(12:40) -Toni-  
Are you available for communication? Over.

(12:41) -Cheryl-  
Yes, whatever that means.

[Answer: Toni]

"Who's your suspect?"

"Peaches. I overheard her talking on the phone to someone about a 'shipment.' Whatever this shipment is, it's here. She's going to collect it now."

"And you managed to drag Fangs with you?"

"We have a spare period now and he has no other friends. Fucking loser. The other two are off spray fainting the underpass by our place”

"Wow. How creative. Also Is that him I can hear swearing at you?"

"Yes, that's him. Hey, Fangs –"

"Cheryl, please make her stop this."

"I don't think I can, it's too amusing listening to her fail."

"Hah – Moony thinks you're a failure."

"That's not what I said at all!"

"Give it back –"

"I know you'd never say something like that, Bombshell. Right?"

"Of course not. I was commenting on your failure to capture the counter-pranksters."

"But I'm getting close, I can feel it. Hang on, I'm putting you on speaker."

"Why do you need me here?"

"You were here from the beginning, Bombshell. Now you shall see the end."

"I think you've got too much faith in this lead, bud. Peaches could just be getting a package from her mum."

"She said shipment, Fangs. What kind of stuff does your mother ship you?"

"I still feel like it’s weird that we're following her, Toni."

"We're not going to do anything to her, relax. Jeez, what do you take me for?"

"A stalker. Right, Moony, she's a stalker?"

"I don't really think I can comment on that, given I'm the one that told her my address."

"Thank you, Moony."

"Bad judgment on your part, pal."

"Fangs, would you keep your voice down?"

"Where the hell are you two?"

"We're in the lawn, near the statue. Car park isn't far from here, that's where the truck will be – ah, there it is."

"That thing's fuckin' huge."

"It's a truck, Fangs, relax."

"Big truck, though."

"Ok, ok, she's talking to the driver."

"Is there anyone else around there?"

"Nah, it's class time for most of the school. Just us. Windows don't face this way, either. She's perfectly concealed. This was the plan!"

"You're reading too much into this."

"Fangs, don't make me turn this metaphorical car around."

"Oh, please do."

"Ok, she's signing something for the driver..."

"Contract to her soul?"

"Fangs, shut up."

"He has a fair point. How else is she paying for this shipment?"

"It's big, too."

"Be quiet, you two."

"Toni, we can't hear shit from this distance."

"I just don't want you talking anymore."

"And what about Moony?"

"She’s only encouraging you. Shut up!"

"Hey Moony, has Toni told you about the time in first year when she took Emily out on a date –"

"Dude, you little rat!"

"Oh, that was the girl you're currently stalking now, is it? And you ate all that pink cake?"

"Moony, it's not –"

"Calm down, TT. I'm making fun."

"Fangs, you are henceforth banned from making any comments."

"Aw, Moony doesn't mind. Right?"

"I said no comments. Look, they're unloading the truck now."

"Are they..."

"That's going to go right into the lake. What's the point?"

"What's happening? And sweet water river?”

"Yup. They're pulling a bunch of ropes to drag this... thing out. But it'll fall right into the river."

"I can't make out what it is."

"It's just a big white ball. Or something. What the fuck is that?"

"Are those tentacles?"

"Don't be a dickhead, Drew – oh, my God, they're tentacles."

"Who's the dickhead now?"

"I'm sorry, I'm going to need more description for this end."

"It's a giant fucking squid."

"What?"

"Fangs is right. It's just a giant fucking squid."

"A real one?"

"Don't think so, but it looks like it. Like it's made of jelly or something."

"Silicone."

"What?"

"Silicone. Come on, don't you watch Mythbusters? It's this rubbery stuff that you can cast into a mold."

"They made a silicone squid."

"They made a silicone squid? Why?"

"To put in the lake, looks like."

"I think you guys are missing the point."

"What point is that, Toni?"

"I FOUND THE COUNTER-PRANKSTER!"

"Surely, she's not working alone?"

"But if I find one, I'll find the others. This is fantastic."

"None of our pranks have been this good. Why didn't we think of a giant squid in Sweet Water River? There were enough myths already for us to go on."

"Because our tiny serpent brains thought toilet paper on a building would be funnier."

"You said it first."

"What's your next plan of action, Toni?"

"Find the others. Decide from there what to do. I'm actually pretty impressed now."

"Shit, she's coming this way."

"Fuck, run, Fangs! Our cover will be blown!"

"Cya, Moony!"

"Run, git! Bye, Moony!"

*

Friday PM

(3:08) -Cheryl-  
I'm now a little concerned that you will literally stalk this poor girl.

(3:09) -Toni-  
Why do you and Fangs seem to think I'm a creep with no boundaries?

(3:09) -Toni-  
I'm just going to take note of who she talks to. And then find a correlation between Emily missing and her friends missing at the same time.

(3:10) -Cheryl-  
What's the squid reaction been like?

(3:11) -Toni-  
Oh yeah, everyone freaked out. Someone thought it was a real squid and fainted.

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
Are they ok?

(3:12) -Toni-  
Oh, they're fine. The squid's tentacles actually kinda float on the surface so that's a bit of a giveaway.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
Is this constructive criticism or bitterness?

(3:15) -Toni-  
Shush, I'm still the pranking master.

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
I'm sure, TT. I'm sure.

(3:18) -Toni-  
Sweetpea was impressed. He looked at it like it was Christmas.

(3:19) -Cheryl-  
It's not everyday you see a giant squid.

(3:20) -Toni-  
Or you see a Bombshell. Tomorrow still happening?

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Very much yes.

(3:22) -Toni-  
Good. Ok. Cool.

(3:24) -Cheryl-  
I should get some work done so I don't have any tomorrow.

(3:24) -Toni-  
Your parents make you do work on the weekend?

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
If I don't finish it because I'm talking to idiots, then yes.

(3:30) -Toni-  
Work like the speed of light, Moonbeam.

(3:31) -Cheryl-  
I plan to.

*

(6:12) -Cheryl-  
Do you have any allergies?

(6:14) -Toni-  
Uh, no. None I've discovered yet.

(6:15) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Just, you know, so I don't accidentally kill you with food tomorrow.

(6:17) -Toni-  
Oh, but what a pleasant death it would be.

(6:17) -Toni-  
Dying in your arms.

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
More like dying on my kitchen floor.

(6:19) -Toni-  
You wouldn't hold me until my final breath?

(6:20) -Cheryl-  
If you're asphyxiating then your final breath might be very soon. Too soon to scoop you up into my arms.

(6:21) -Toni-  
Why am I not in your arms in the first place?

(6:22) -Cheryl-  
Dare I ask what position we are in while this is happening?

(6:25) -Toni-  
A very dangerous question indeed, Bombshell.

(6:29) -Cheryl-  
Forget I asked then. It doesn't need to be something I'm thinking about when I first see you.

(6:31) -Toni-  
And why not?

(6:42) -Toni-  
Moony?

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
Sorry, I'm dying of embarrassment over here. Come back later.

(6:43) -Toni-  
Aw, Moony, do you want me to hold you until your last breath?

(6:45) -Cheryl-  
You're not making this better.

(6:46) -Toni-  
Now you know what it was like for me earlier this week.

(6:49) -Toni-  
I'm going to kill you when I see you.

(6:51) -Cheryl-  
I doubt that very much.

(6:52) -Toni-  
Now if youll excuse me, Cheryl, I gotta go take a cold shower.

(6:53) -Cheryl-  
Oh, I hate you.

*

(11:10) -Toni-  
Moony, are you awake?

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(11:11) -Toni-  
It's 11:11. Make a wish.

(11:12) -Toni-  
Did you make a wish?

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
Yes.

(11:12) -Toni-  
What did you wish for?

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
Can't tell, or it won't come true.

(11:13) -Toni-  
Oh come on, no one really believes that.

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
I'm not risking it.

(11:14) -Toni-  
Never knew you were superstitious.

(11:14) -Cheryl-  
I'm not. But I'm definitely not taking my chances with this one.

(11:14) -Toni-  
Damn, it must be important.

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
I'll tell you tomorrow if it came true.

(11:16) -Toni-  
Good. Ok.

(11:16) -Toni-  
Good night, Cheryl.

(11:17) -Cheryl-  
See you in the morning, Toni.

*

Saturday AM

(8:23) -Toni-  
Good morning.

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
Good morning.

(8:26) -Toni-  
Today, huh?

(8:26) -Cheryl-  
That's the plan.

(8:27) -Toni-  
Hope it works this time.

(8:29) -Cheryl-  
Me too.

(8:30) -Toni-  
I guess I'll see you soon, Bombshell.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
God, yes.


	11. Friday Night Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I mixed football and soccer together bc I know nothing abt either sports I’m a GAY SOFT GIRL OKAY  
> anyway idk how the writing went with this I tried to change up my writing so. Yeah. Okay.   
> I also had to implement the story without texts bc idk how I could possibly write them meeting without it being them awkwardly texting each other across the room lol  
> Thanks for reading! Be back ASAP with an update :)

*

Saturday AM

Her parents had left the house not even ten minutes ago, and yet it gave Cheryl way too much time to flit about the house tidying random things and wiping her sweaty hands on the backs of her jeans. Betty was buzzing encouraging words in her pocket, but every time she checked her phone she was disappointed to see it wasn't Toni. She was so used to it being Toni.

(9:13) -Betty-  
I know you, and I know you'll be freaking out, but it'll be fine. I promise!!

But all Cheryl could think about was that soon Toni wouldn't just be a concept in her phone. Soon, too soon, Toni, who smelt like motor oil and Lilac would be past the threshold of Thornhill. Too soon and all too far away, Cheryl will finally have a face to the voice that had soothed her for so many weeks. The voice that after 10 years replaced Jason's.

She was pretty sure she was going to puke

(9:16) -Betty-  
Look, I'm assuming you're reading these messages and are just too nervous to reply. Remember breathing exercises! Calming! Meditate, or something.

Cheryl took two deep breaths before she gave up and laid face first on the plush living room couch.

Every passing car, every honk of someone's horn or the shouting of the neighbours, was Toni. Cheryl tried not to look like an excited dog, popping her head over the back of the couch at each sound, but she was failing miserably. She just hoped that when it finally was Toni, the girl wouldn't see Cheryl run to the window and peek through the curtains. She had to try and play it cool.

(9:24) -Betty-  
Archie wishes you luck! He also made a joke about your kissing abilities but I think it's too soon for that.

She tried getting comfortable in the bar stools sitting at the kitchen table, but it was too still, and her bouncing knee kept hitting the tabletop. She would probably have a bruise, or 20, there.

(9:30) -Archie-  
I know Betty already said it on my behalf buuuuut....  
Good luck, Cher! Try not to look too much like an idiot.

(9:31) -Archie-  
Oh my god!! That was a joke. A bad joke. You don't need to hear stuff like that.

Her skin was feeling a little too tight under the skinny jeans Betty had chosen for her, and when she was half way up the stairs to throw on her insecurity-blanket sweatpants, a knock on the door stopped her in her tracks. 

Cheryl's heart was in her throat. With a few shaky breaths, she stepped carefully to the door and opened it tentatively, poking her head thru the small crack in the door

There was a brief moment of confusion until she realized it was a deliveryman.

"Fucking hell," Cheryl breathed. The deliveryman grunted at her, shoving a package into her pale arms and storming off to his beaten up van.

Cheryl was about to close the door when she heard a familiar voice sing, "What did you do to piss him off so much?"

Cheryl nearly dropped the package.

*

Toni nearly kicked the bike over when it failed to start the third time.

Fangs was behind her, texting Kevin and being entirely unhelpful while Toni was ten minutes late leaving the overcrowded school parking lot.

Her foot was raised in the air when she considered kicking the bike might make it hate her even more. And she couldn't have Elvendork hate her, not now of all times.

She had a Bombshell to catch.

"Ok, ok," Jughead's voice called, saddling up beside her on his own bike, pulling a sprocket wrench from the cargo box "I got this." 

Toni sighed heavily, wiping at her sweaty forehead with the back of her hands, the motor oil leaving a slick strip that caught some fly away strands of faded pink.

Jughead snorted out a laugh, tossing a rag at her "Um... I'm sure you will be the bomb." Fang's said, pocketing his phone 

"'The bomb'?" Toni grunted, cleaning the oil remnants and readjusting her hair, "That's the best encouragement you have? That I'll be 'the bomb'?"

"The bomb diggity? Look, I've used up my yearly quota of encouraging you, man," Fangs whined, "You're too high strung to be encouraged right now, anyway."

Toni glared down at her bike, once thought to be her child, her baby, but now a traitor to the cause. She wanted to cry. 

"I wonder why I'm so high strung."

"Don't get all down, now. Have you tried singing to her?"

Toni whipped around to face Fangs, her eyebrows raised. "My bike is not a woman. My bike is a bike. But, no, I've not tried singing to it."

Fangs held up his hands in mock surrender. "Sorry, sorry. Caressing its fenders, then? Whispering sweet nothings into its exhaust?"

"You're fucking useless," Toni told him and wedged her helmet over her head once again. She turned the key gently this time, but when it still failed to start, she began twisting it erratically, slamming her fist down on the fuel tank. She was getting fed up, and her friend's lack of motivation all morning had started to wear on her nerves. She felt like she were on fire inside, her stomach a pit, ready to burn her alive.

Toni Topaz was terrified, but there was no way in hell she was telling anyone that.

With the wrench between Jughead's teeth, he signalled a thumbs up. Toni held her breath and twisted the key in the ignition, the old bike finally sputtering into life.

"Fuck yes!" She heard Fangs shout over the engine and Toni couldn't help but beam.

Fangs' heavy hand came down on her shoulder, and through the helmet and over the engine she heard the boys shouting various forms of good luck. With one last look at Jughead, who's approval she sought out more than anyone else's, he moved from leaning against his bike and engulfing her in a one armed hug, "I love you, and your girl is waiting for you. Go kill it, Toni."

Fangs saluted her as Toni sped away, already typing out a message to Kevin.

(9:02) -Fangs-  
Shes shitting herself.

Toni broke most of the speeding laws, not even bothering to check how fast she was going, so long as she got to Cheryl's house as fast as her beaten up bike could go, that's all that mattered. 

She knew driving and texting was a bad idea, even Toni wasn't that reckless, but her heart sped up to match her accelerating bike when she felt a vibration against her thigh.

Slowing down ever so slightly, she fished out her phone to check the message. She almost piffed the phone into the sidewalk when she saw who it was from.

(9:22) -Sweetpea-  
Good luck today!! Sorry I couldn't see you off. Tell Cheryl I say hi. Actually, don't mention me. She's probably still mad about the fish thing. Shit. Well. Bye!

After what felt like hours, Toni skidded up the driveway to the Thornhill property, nearly toppling over one the process. She quickly dismounted and tossed her helmet aside, running a hand thru her wind-swept hair. 

Her nerves were at a crescendo, but with one look at doorway calmed her immediately. looking utterly perplexed, stood a tall and pale redhead holding a box far too large for her arms, her face just as pale as Toni felt.

She couldn't help but laugh.

"What did you do to piss him off so much?" 

*

Cheryl couldn't think to do anything else but stare. If Betty were there, she would consider this something 'idiotic,' but the will from Cheryl drained from him the moment he finally saw Toni.

It was stupid, entirely ridiculous, that this had been the girl she was flirting with for months. She looked like someone from those greaser movies, far too pretty to really be a thug but playing the part well. The only telltale sign that she could really belong to a greaser group was the haphazard bandage on her right arm from her wrist to over her elbow. 

And the large motorcycle parked in her driveway.

She practically strutted up to the door, her boots scraping on the pavement and shaking her hair from her face. Cheryl was horrified at her simple black tee shirt, a chill already spilling down her own spine from the breeze through the open door.

She wondered why Toni wasn't wearing a jacket.

When Toni swallowed, the small scar on her throat bobbed, and she dragged a hand through her long hair, and Cheryl only belatedly noticed these to be nervous tics. She had been staring too long.

"I swore at him," she almost shouted. Toni seemed startled at the exclamation, tilting her head and smiling shyly.

"What?" She asked, and Cheryl hoped that she was just distracted too, and that Cheryl hadn't already said something stupid.

"I swore at the deliveryman," she clarified, rushing out, "I thought... I thought he would be you, and then he wasn't, and well... It's been a very long morning. Will you come in?" The redhead hoped to get her words out before they tumbled into nonsense off her dry tongue, and was relieved when Toni nodded enthusiastically.

Cheryl dropped the package by her front door, opening it wider to let Toni in. Despite having been there before, Toni entered slowly, discarding his big boots by the front door and turning her head to take in the front landing.

"It's the same as it was last week," Cheryl joked. Her mind felt like it had come to a blank, and she was clutching at anything to say, even the most pathetic jokes her brain could supply.

Toni smiled wryly. "Only now it's got better décor," she said easily, and if not for the tan skin covering her, the blush crawling it's way from her neck to her cheeks wouldve been noticeable.

Cheryl felt her face grow hot, and really she should have expected it, it wasn't like Toni was a different person now that she was here. She swallowed thickly, hoping she could make it through this first meeting without combusting.

"Did you drive that thing here?" Cheryl asked, wringing her hands out nervously. Toni'S eyes just seemed to watch her carefully. Every move, every sound, it was as if Toni was memorizing it to the tee.

"Uh, yeah?"

Cheryl shook her head and poked Toni in the arm. "And what about this? You drove a motorcycle here with a healing arm?"

"And look!" Toni spread her arms over her head, "No injuries!"

Cheryl shook her head again, tearing her eyes away from the small strip of skin exposed from Toni's ridden-up shirt. She probably did it on purpose, and judging by the way she stood just a little too close to Cheryl, the guess was right.

Cheryl felt rooted to the spot. No amount of will could force her feet to move her, her lips to talk, and part of her didn't want to anyway. It was surreal, having Toni right in front of her, and if the entire world could stand still Cheryl would spend it looking at Toni

"You're short." 

CheryL wanted to slap herself in the face, and Toni just laughed warmly. Cheryl decided it was her favourite sound.  
"Yeah, I know."

She only half registered that her lips were moving soundlessly, having for the very first time nothing to say to Toni

The smaller girl in turn looked amused, and Cheryl decided she was definitely a bitch, as the girl made no attempt to fill in the stretching silence. She grinned at Cheryl, leaning casually against the wall, and watched as Cheryl failed to form sounds.

Cheryl coughed lightly. "I've waited for this for so long and suddenly I don't have a thing to say," she admitted.

Toni nodded, her smile never faltering. "It's good to see you, though."

The heat in the house could stifle them both death, and Cheryl had to keep fighting down the panic erupting in her chest. "It's good to see you too," she mumbled, looking down at the fuzzy socks she wore

"I did come here for a reason," Toni said, "If we would like to start there?"

"Objective?" Cheryl blanked.

"The jacket, Bombshell," Toni threw her arms up in the air again, "Please tell me you haven't forgotten about the jacket?"

It was the dramatic tone that set Cheryl alive again, the familiarity of it all, as if Toni had been a permanent fixture in all his life. She smiled easily, feeling the tension leave her body.

"Oh, you mean your gang jacket?" Cheryl teased, "Sorry, but I've been a bit distracted of late."

Her feet finally allowed her to walk down the hall and to the stairs, not waiting to see if Toni was following.

"Distracted?" Toni's voice said closely behind her.

"Yes, you see, I just had a stray dog turn up on my doorstep."

Toni laughed, "I bet she's cute, though."

They had reached the mahogany bedroom door, and it was only with her sweaty hand on the door handle did Cheryl really consider the implications. She was home alone with a gorgeous girl she'd been a little more than crushing on for two months, and was now about to lead her into her bedroom. Although Cheryl didn't think things would go that far, didn't think she'd want them to go that far just yet, the thought of it alone made her face hot. She hoped Toni couldn't tell.

She answered finally , "She is cute." Turned the handle, "And she knows it."

Cheryl turned to watch the blush flare on Toni's cheeks, satisfied she wasn't the only one. Maybe she'd make it out alive, after all.

Cheryls bedroom was big. Probably the size of Toni's entire trailer. Fitting a canopy bed, a desk and bookcase, chair with a pool toy on it that for some reason was left untouched, and a walk in closet. Hanging over the back of the desk chair was the leather jacket, all pins and buttons intact, and the emblazoned letters SOUTHSIDE SERPENTS shouted at them in greeting. Toni pulled it off the chair, easily swooping it on, testing her size as if wearing it for the first time.

"Don't worry, I didn't accidentally kill it and replace it with a poor copy." Toni seemed to flinch, making Cheryl feel instantly guilty. "It was a joke. Sorry."

Toni sat in the chair, spinning it around to press her face up against the tank containing Sheba the Second.

"I'm sorry my friend is a dumbass and got your fish killed,"Toni said sincerely, her fingers trailing down the side of the tank, following Sheba's sporadic movements

"Don't worry about it."

Cheryl dropped herself onto her bed, leaning her back against the headboard, watching Toni swivel herself around in the chair.

"Sweetpea says hi, by the way, but he told me not to tell you in case you were still mad about the fish thing."

Cheryl smiled and shook her head, "I was never mad about the fish thing."

"You're taking the death of our beloved Sheba remarkably well," Toni said, plastering a look of hurt on her face

There was a buzz in Cheryl's pocket, and without having to look she knew who it was. She was going to kill them.

"I guess we didn't really bond. I was interested in talking to someone else."

"Moony," Toni smiled, "You're so sly."

Cheryl laughed, watching her hands pull and twist at the hem of her sweater, feeling her face glow again. "I've had practice, I guess."

"Mm," Toni hummed, "No one talks to Toni Topaz without picking up a few things."

Cheryl looked up, "I meant Fangs."

Toni mock gasped, poking her tongue out at the redhead with a barely contained smile. Cheryl laughed too, trying not to think too long about Toni's pink tongue but failing miserably.

Her phone buzzed again.

"You going to get that?" Toni sounded amused.

"No," but when the phone buzzed once more, she groaned, "Yes." 

(9:45) -Archie-  
Is she there?? How's it going??

(9:46) -Betty-  
Cher?? Tell me you've not spiraled into self pity.

(9:47) -Archie-  
Or, wait, unless she's actually there. Is she there?! WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
Go away!!

Cheryl tossed her phone at her pillow and groaned. Toni was staring at her, the same amused grin plastered on her face, and raised an eyebrow at Cheryl's exasperation.

"Berty," she said simply, making the serpent bark out a laugh.

"I threatened the guys that if they message me in the next few hours, I'll run them over."

Cheryl giggled, and it set Toni's heart on fire. feeling giddy and out-of-body as she continued to swing on the desk chair, looking so comfortable and natural in Cheryl's environment. Cheryl decided she liked the way she looked here.

Toni turned to the desk and from behind Sheba's tank plucked a permanent marker resting in a cup. Toni dragged the chair closer to the canopy bed until their knees were touching, and Toni held out the marker to Cheryl.

Toni smiled shyly. "I recall promising you that you can sign my cast. I don't actually have a cast, but you can still write on the bandages, or whatever. I mean," she trailed off, "If you want."

Cheryl took the marker from her, and slowly reached for the serpent girls' extended arm. She in turn leaned forward, her hair falling over her eyes, and gently resting her arm on Cheryl's lap. Their knees were pressed together now, their feet entangled, and their faces were a breath apart, watching Cheryl's hand draw gently on the bandage.

"This thing is rough," Cheryl murmured, so close that she didn't need to raise her voice at all. Toni felt her stomach flutter

The marker tip snagged on the material, making Cheryl trace over the same line a few times before it would show through, and so they sat close together for a while. They were silent, but it wasn't awkward, and wasn't expecting. It felt comfortable.

Eventually Cheryl capped the marker, staring down at her handiwork and determined to ignore the heavy beating of her heart.

Bombshell's, was written in exceptional cursive on the bandage.

Toni beamed, her eyes flicking over the letters again and again, and then jumping out of the chair and collecting more pens from the desk.

She plopped herself next to Cheryl on the silk bed, crossing her legs and holding out her hand expectantly. Cheryl furrowed her brows, causing Toni to roll her eyes and take the redhead's arm. She pulled up the sleeve of Cheryl's oversized hoodie to just above her elbow, and then laid the pale arm out on her lap. Toni uncapped a black pen and began to draw.

The tip of the pen was cold on Cheryl's skin, but her attention was drawn to the warmth of Toni's smaller hands, and the way her fingers glided over her skin gently. It felt like tiny feathers tickling her forearm, unsure but constant.

Cheryl watched her draw, the way she turned her awkwardly bandaged arm at different angles to do different strokes, smudging some areas with her left hand and blowing gently against the taller girls skin to dry the ink. Cheryl tried not to shudder.

"You know what you're doing," Cheryl commented quietly. Most of her view of the picture was blocked by Cheryl's arm, but Toni had a look of concentration on her face, her brows furrowed and eyes fixed. "So, I'm adding drawing to the growing list of things you can do."

"Well," Toni looked up to meet brown eyes, "I'm not a professional or anything. Uh, a hobby. I mean, I'm not perfect at it."

Cheryl laughed lightly. "Are you being modest? You?"

Toni shoved her in the shoulder, "Be quiet. I'm working."

"Oh, you're definitely not a professional." Toni shoved her again, making Cheryl laugh harder. "You're not drawing a boobs on me, are you?"

Toni gave a short laugh, "Would you be so adverse to it?"

"Hm, on my arm?" Cheryl replied sarcastically, "Maybe a little."

"Be glad it's not your face," Toni smiled.

"I feel like there's a story here."

Toni chuckled. "Not done to me. But I have a whole series of photos of Fangs with dicks on his face."

"Instead of insulting my artwork, why don't we talk about that photography hobby I remember you mentioning a few months ago?"

Cheryl swallowed thickly, her nerves flaring up. Toni seemed to notice; running her thumb across Cheryl's wrist soothingly. "Oh... um." Cheryl nodded dumbly, fishing around for her phone that had was drowning in her pool of pillows "Yeah, okay. Well, I mostly take um... nature pictures." Toni's eyes flickered up briefly in interest before going back down to her artwork "Shots of Sweet Water, mainly. It's where... uh, JJ died... drowning."

Toni's hand stilled, "My parents hate me mostly for not being able to save him. I was 6... so... yeah..."

"Fuck, when I mentioned the octopus prank- fuck, I'm so sorry-"

"Hey," Cheryl grabbed Toni's hand, ignoring the spark that shot up her arm and straight to her chest "It's not your fault. You didn't know." 

She eased her grip when Toni's body visibly relaxed, and scrolled thru her camera library with ease. "Um.... here's a picture, I guess." 

Toni's eyes widened excitedly, quickly snatching the phone and pulling it up to her face "Wow."

Cheryl rubbed at the back of her neck as a blush made its way to her cheeks for what felt like the millionth time having the brunette in her home. She gave herself a moment to take in the serpent girl. Brown hair fading into various shades of faded pink, flowing down past her shoulders. Eyes dark and wide, quickly surveying each image she swiped to. Full lips glossed with pink, soft skin and clothes that seemed tattered and oversized but yet still fit her perfectly.   
Toni stopped on one photo, her nose scrunching up and cheeks puffing out as she laughed "What?" Cheryl croaked out, shaking herself from the stupid the brunette put her in "What's so funny?"

Toni, trying to hold in her laughter, quickly switched the phone around to show Cheryl a photo of herself dressed up as a carrot for the past Halloween

"Oh, god. Oh god no." 

"Oh absolutely yes!" Toni quickly unpocketed her phone "Aaaaand, airdropped. This is my new wallpaper, Bombshell."

"... Betty dressed up as a rabbit, and Archie was a farmer." 

A beat passed, before they both fell into a hysteria; collapsing on the bed.  
Toni'S head slumped to rest on Cheryl's shaking shoulder.

Toni's laughter subsided when Cheryl began coughing, a sound like a heavy drum beat tearing from her chest. It sounded thick, suffocating, but Cheryl easily pulled some tissues from her sleeve and began coughing into it. Her cheeks were turning red and her throat felt constricted, and it wasn't anything she hadn't dealt with before, but she could feel Toni's worried gaze watching her intently.

Toni stretched over to reach the bedside table, grabbing a bottle of water by her fingertips and gently pressing it into Cheryl's hands. Cheryl was surprised by the gentle gesture, but quickly uncapped the bottle and took a swig.

She cleared her throat, taking mouthfuls from the bottle at intervals, and Toni just sat and watched, hoping the glistening in her eyes was from the laughter instead of choking.

After a few moments the coughing subsided, but when Cheryl apologized her throat was croaky.

"It's the damp weather," ehe said, "Don't ask why."

"No need to apologize," Toni said lightly, and took Cheryl's arm when she offered it. "Are you... Uh –"

"I'm fine," Cheryl assured, her voice coming through clearer and stronger after each word. "Please, keep going."

Toni obliged easily, studying her work and picking up the blue pen.

Cheryl kept watching her draw, but her eyes wavered from Toni's drawing to her face, lingering there just a little too long. Toni peeked through her curtain of hair, catching Cheryl's eye and raising an eyebrow.

"You're worrying about coughing in front of me," she said.

How quickly they had learned wordless communication.

"It's not the most attractive thing in the world," Cheryl admitted.

The corner of Toni's mouth twitched. "Call me biased, but everything about you is attractive, Cheryl. Even your phlegmy coughing."

Cheryl couldn't stop the shit eating smile that broke its way onto her face, quickly looking away in embarrassment, rubbing her free hand over her heated face.

"Will you ever stop blushing?" Toni poked her in the cheek, "Not that I mind it."

Cheryl swatted the hand away, but Toni caught it in her own and linked their fingers together.

Cheryl's whole body felt hot now. Their hands were sliding together smoothly, fingertips tracing grooves and light flecks of scars, oil burn when Cheryl tried helping cook as a child, jagged metal snagging Toni's palm in Elvendork's construction. When Cheryl splayed her fingers out, Toni filled in the spaces with her own fingers, closing their hands together like a long forgotten puzzle.

Cheryl doesn't know when, but at some point the both of them had slumped on the bed, now laying side by side with their legs dangling over the edge. Cheryl had been so enrapt with their playing hands that she hardly registered the half-finished drawing on her forearm.

"You drew a dog," she said amused.

"What else would I draw?"

"You drew a self portrait."

Toni huffed a laugh, but her tone was sincere when she asked, "Moony, did your wish come true?"

Cheryl furrowed her brow. "What wish?"

"Your eleven-eleven wish. You said you'd tell me if it came true."

They were touching from shoulder to ankle, their sides and legs pressed together, and Cheryl hooked her ankle around Toni's. The position was very casual, like they'd done it a million times, but Cheryl felt a charge, like she was a lit fuse ready to crackle. She tried to tame the bubbling in her chest as she rested her forehead against the serpent's

"TT, what do you think my wish was?"

Both of their bodies shook when Toni shrugged. Cheryl blew air out of her nose, a small laugh, sending a shiver down Toni's spine.

"I wished for you, you idiot."

Toni looked up at her, their faces level and close, so close that Cheryl could see the detail of her bottom lashes sweeping her cheek, the small cuts where Toni had been biting his lips, where her teeth were now sinked into her lips...

Cheryl didn't realize she was staring, didn't mean to, but suddenly he noticed Toni's laboured breath on her face, and the girl's nose nudging against hers. Her heart was on fire, a bomb ready to ignite at any moment.

She heard a car door slam.

Toni heard it too, and they both jumped, startled, and the bomb in Cheryl's chest was about to explode, but only this time it was from fear.

"Shit," she hissed, "Shit, shit, shit."

Toni couldnt help the hurt expression on her face as Cheryl flung herself off the bed like she was burned and darted out of the room, standing in the hallway for a moment before she came charging back in, still swearing under her breath.

Toni's face was like a fresh bloom of roses, and it fought against Cheryl's being to tell her "You need to go."

Outside, another car door slammed.

"My parents are home."

Toni leapt off the bed, making a quick beeline to the door when Cheryl caught her by the arm and began dragging her to one the windows by the bed

"Can't go out the front door, stupid." She almost sounded fond, "Or they'll see you right there."

"So your alternative is to throw me out the window?" Toni snorted. "You really do love those romantic comedies, don't you?"

Cheryl threw open the window, dragging Sheba the Second's bowl over to give Toni more climbing space. She didn't bother to move the sheets of paper or books scattered on its top, and Toni easily climbed on without so much as a breath

Toni was sitting on the windowsill, one leg in the house and one leg out gauging the three story drop and studying the the distance from her position to the rose garden beneath them. It was going to hurt like a bitch. 

Cheryl poked Toni to get her moving, but Toni grappled the windowsill, keeping herself upright "Wait, Bombshell, I've got a question."

"Now?!" Cheryl's voice was laced with panic

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Is now really the time, TT," she deadpanned in response

"It's the final tomorrow," Toni said indignant, "Will you come watch? Me cheer I mean. And the guys too, I guess. You can bring Betty."

In the kitchen, Clifford Blossom was shouting.

Cheryl couldn't help but smile at the puppy-dog eyes Toni was giving her, for once feeling easy despite the anger in her fathers voice. "Of course. Text me when and where. Right now you need to get out my room."

Toni flashed a grin, hesitating slightly as she swooped in to give Cheryl a lingering kiss on the cheek, a little close to her mouth but not quite her lips, and then swinging himself out the window, landing a little off in the garden below. 

Cheryl's head quickly popped out the window, eyeing the groaning girl on the ground "You okay?" She whispered, and Toni just flashed a painful smile, standing and plucking a thorn from her arm

Cheryl waited for the roar of the motorbike engine before declaring it safe, leaving her room and padding quietly to the kitchen.

"How was your morning, dear?" Penelope asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee, and the red headed girl just shrugged.

"Fine."

*

Saturday MIDDAY

(11:56) -Fangs-  
I know you said not to text but I just wanted to check in that you haven't, I don't know, done something.

(11:56) -Fangs-  
Like, if something went wrong like last time

(11:56) -Fangs-  
I'm gonna shut up until you reply.

(12:03) -Toni-  
I'm at the park around the corner from school.

(12:03) -Fangs-  
Why are you there?

(12:03) -Fangs-  
WHAT HAPPENED?

(12:04) -Toni-  
Nothing bad, chill!

(12:05) -Toni-  
But I still might be panicking a little.

(12:05) -Toni-  
She was so perfect, Drew

(12:05) -Toni-  
And she was right there and

(12:05) -Toni-  
Fuck I probably looked like an idiot I just wouldn't stop smiling and gaping

(12:07) -Toni-  
She probably thinks I'm a weirdo too like I drew on her arm and I don't even know why

(12:07) -Toni-  
She also lied to me she has tiny freckles all over her face and arms god damnit

(12:08) -Juggy-  
So you got that close to her face, huh?

(12:08) -Toni-  
I think we almost kissed

(12:09) -Toni-  
But then her parents came home

(12:09) -Toni-  
And I jumped out a window

(12:10) -Fangs-  
WHAT?

(12:10) - Sweets-  
Badass

(12:10) -Toni-  
Shes coming to the game tomorrow

(12:11) -Toni-  
With her friend Betty but like

(12:11) - Juggy-  
Ugh

(12:11) -Toni-  
Jug can you look after her and Betty or something?

(12:12) - Juggy-  
What? Why do I have to?

(12:12) - Sweets-  
Cause your scrawny ass can't play. And you don't have the legs to cheer.

(12:12) -Toni-  
Oh my god I invited her to the game tomorrow

(12:12) -Toni-  
What if I choke???

(12:14) -Sweets-  
Dude you're not even the one playing

(12:14) -Toni-  
Shut up

(12:15) -Toni-  
I'm having a breakdown here

(12:16) -Juggy-  
Come home and stop freaking out, Toni.

(12:16) -Juggy-  
Everything worked out great and she really probably doesn't think you're a freak. Though you are.

(12:17) -Toni-  
Suck it, Jug.

(12:18) -Toni-  
Ok, I'm on my way back. If Elvendork starts up.

(12:19) -Juggy-  
I have amazing legs, bitch.

*

Saturday PM

(1:06) -Cheryl-  
Are you doing anything tomorrow?

(1:07) -Betty-  
YOU CAN'T JUST START A CONVERSATION CHERYL

(1:07) -Betty-  
HOW DID IT GO?

(1:07) -Betty-  
WHAT DID YOU DO?

(1:07) -Betty-  
WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?

(1:08) -Cheryl-  
Well, if you're not busy tomorrow, you'll get to see her

(1:08) -Betty-  
Woah, what?

(1:09) -Cheryl-  
She invited me to the football game tomorrow. It's a final, so I'm assuming it's a big deal. She wants me to see her cheer

(1:09) -Betty-  
And why am I going?

(1:09)-Cheryl-  
I'm not going to sit in the crowd on my own!

(1:10)-Betty-  
And what if Lover Girl comes to swoop you up? You're just gonna leave me with the Northside vultures?

(1:11) - Cheryl-  
Come on, itll be good fraternizing with your classmates! Maybe you'll make a friend 

(1:12)-Betty-  
Cheryl.

(1:12) - Cheryl-  
Come on, for me? Pleaseeeee?

(1:12) - Betty-  
Ok, ok. Yes I'll come.

(1:12) - Betty-  
Now tell me what happened this morning!!

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
She arrived at my house looking like some kind of Greek god crossed with an underwear model.

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
I feel so out of my depth.

(1:14) -Betty-  
But she stayed for the visit and invited you to her game tomorrow. Good signs!!

(1:14) -Cheryl-  
Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
It was so unreal, like it was just some kind of vivid dream.

(1:16) -Betty-  
A wet dream, I'm hoping.

(1:16) -Cheryl-  
Betty, for the love of god!!

(1:16) -Betty-  
Tell me none of that stuff happened, then!

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
No, it didn't.

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
Not quite.

(1:18) -Betty-  
"Not quite"? I'm going to need more.

(1:18) -Cheryl-  
I imagine you're going to kill for details.

(1:19) -Betty-  
Yes, I am. Spill, Blossom.

(1:20) -Cheryl-  
Uggghh, fine. There was. Uh. Hand holding. We sat pretty close. Or, laid I guess. She drew on my arm and kissed me on the cheek before I shoved her out the window.

(1:21) -Betty-  
What was that last bit?

(1:22) -Cheryl-  
My parents came home unexpectedly and so I. Um. Made her climb out of the window in my room.

(1:23) -Betty-  
Oh my god, Cheryl. That's a steep drop.

(1:23) -Cheryl-  
I know, I don't need you to tell me.

(1:24) -Betty-  
A kiss on the cheek, huh? How gentlemanly.

(1:24) -Cheryl-  
Oh shush. It was nice.

(1:25) -Betty-  
Just on the cheek, then?

(1:25) -Cheryl-  
Yes, just on the cheek. We might nearly have... Um. I don't exactly know, but my parents did come home at a very inconvenient time.

(1:26) -Betty-  
Oh my GOD

(1:26) -Cheryl-  
I know. Oh my god. Imagine if they caught her. I would never see the light of day again.

(1:27) -Betty-  
So I get to see the sexy underwear model tomorrow, do I?

(1:28) -Cheryl-  
If you behave.

(1:28) -Betty-  
!!!!

(1:29) -Betty-  
I'm not going to be awkward third wheeling, am I?

(1:29) -Cheryl-  
No, her friend Jughead who isn't a football player and takes photographs of the game will hang out with you. You're both nerds for criminal justice and investigations and shit.

(1:30) -Betty-  
I guess that's fair.

(1:30) -Cheryl-  
Love you!

*

(8:01) -Toni-  
So. Today was nice, wasn't it?

(8:02) -Cheryl-  
Yes. It definitely was.

(8:02) -Toni-  
Tomorrow should be good too.

(8:02) -Cheryl-  
Mm. Betty is excited, at least. Told her she would probably be hanging out with Jughead

(8:03) -Toni-  
Oh, is she? Jughead is a little less then excited to hang out with Northsider.

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
They're going to fall madly in love

(8:04) -Toni-  
Oh, without a doubt.

(8:05) -Cheryl-  
I'm excited to see your school. Where all your best pranks happen. 

(8:06) -Toni-  
You know me so well, Bonbshell :")

(8:07) -Cheryl-  
Shush, you. Do I have to wear a jersey with your name on it? Maybe eat some hot dogs in the stands?

(8:10) -Toni-  
Oh, most definitely. Face paint and overpriced meat is a requirement at this game. No wooly sweaters.

(8:11) -Cheryl-  
But I only own wooly sweaters.

(8:12) -Toni-  
I doubt that. I saw your closet. Some hefty price tags and name brands in there.

(8:13) -Toni-  
But no matter what you own, it's best to come naked.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
Oh, my god TT

(8:16) -Cheryl-  
I feel significantly less weird talking to you like this now that I've seen you.

(8:17) -Toni-  
If I'd known this sooner, I would have ran over to Wales.

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
You have nice hands.

(8:20) -Toni-  
Hah

(8:21) -Toni-  
Just my hands?

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
No. But. That was the best my brain could provide on the matter.

(8:23) -Toni-  
Wow, don't strain yourself, Bombshell.

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
No

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
Stop

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
I mean like

(8:24) -Cheryl-  
Coherent thoughts are hard to come by.

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
You're so attractive I'm going to die.

(8:30) -Toni-  
The feeling's mutual, Bombshell. And don't you roll your eyes at that.

(8:31) -Toni-  
Fangs is making me go to bed for tomorrow. Needs his best cheerleader wide awake.  
Good night, Moony.

(8:31) -Toni-  
Today was one of the best day ever.

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
Good night, TT. Tomorrow will be even better.

*

Sunday AM

(6:08) -Toni-  
Gooooooooooood morning sunshine!!!!

(6:09) -Toni-  
Wake upppp beautiful!

(6:10) -Cheryl-  
What the fuck are you doing

(6:10) -Toni-  
Fangs got us all up for extra early practice! I'm running on Gatorade and coffee! Because! Apparently! I! Need! To! Cheer! For! Them! During! Fucking! PRACTICE!

(6:11) -Cheryl-  
And why am I awake

(6:12) -Toni-  
Remember when you said something about shared trauma experience?

(6:13) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to kill you

(6:14) -Toni-  
Noooo you wonnn't. You like my hands too much.

(6:16) -Cheryl-  
It's too fucking early for this

(6:16) -Toni-  
Yes it is. I'm actually here to ask if you'd be willing to kill Fangs with me?

(6:17) -Cheryl-  
If I say yes, will you let me go back to bed?

(6:18) -Toni-  
Maybe. If I like you.

(6:18) -Cheryl-  
You've left it a bit late to tell me if you didn't like me.

(6:19) -Toni-  
Good morning, Cheryl.

(6:20) -Cheryl-  
I'll see you at a holy hour.

*

(10:06) -Toni-  
Kevin, did Fangs tell you about Cheryl being here today?

(10:07) -Kevin-  
He might have, yes.

(10:07) -Toni-  
Might have? Come on.

(10:08) -Kevin-  
Said something about 'Toni shitting herself about a girl."

(10:08) -Toni-  
Am not.

(10:09) -Kevin-  
Are too.

(10:09) -Toni-  
Am not.

(10:10) -Kevin-  
Are too. I'll win this, you know that.

(10:10) -Toni-  
I can try. Look, she's going to have her friend there and I'm making Jughead hang out with them but I don't want Cheryl isolated or uncomfortable or whatever.

(10:11) -Kevin-  
Toni, do you really think I'd just leave her stranded?

(10:12) -Toni-  
Well. No. But. Making sure, you know.

(10:12) -Toni-  
And Christ, don't let FP eat her alive.

(10:15) -Kevin-  
Not even I have the power to stop the force that is FP Jones

(10:15) -Toni-  
Shit.

(10:16) -Kevin-  
Good luck, Toni

(10:17) -Toni-  
Thanks, Songbird

*

Sunday PM

The sky was clearer than what it was the previous day, Toni taking it as a good omen. She could already feel sweat trickle down her brow, the ends of her ponytail sticking to her skin, but the game hadn't even started. Her hands shook, but it wasn't from exhaustion or the anticipation of watching her friends win. She jumped on the spot, rolling her shoulders, and pointedly jabbing Jughead in the back with her elbows.

"What if she doesn't show up?" Toni hissed in his ear.

Jughead shrugged him off like an annoying fly, already irritable with Toni's anxious mood. "Dude, she'll show, can you just help me with the camera film? It won't fucking go in."

"You need to relax," Toni told him, but grabbed the camera anyway and began feeding the film in

"Like you're one to talk. You stop freaking out about Cheryl and I'll calm down enough to not murder anyone today. Especially you."

The team were all stretching in a circle, muttering to each other about the opposition on the other end of the field, who were doing the same. The field was nearly fluorescent green, lit up from the lights, but soon to be pocketed with pits of mud from studded boots. Jughead took the camera, and offered her a one armed hug before stalking off to the other side of the field.

Sweetpea was telling Fangs about how he's going to punch Verne right in the jaw once the game finishes.

"That's just assault, Sweets," Fangs called out, but Sweetpea just shrugged, helmet knocking against his shoulders

"Not a lot of bashing opportunities when you're linebacker, you know? You guys get all the fun."

Fangs stood in the center of the circle, spinning on the spot as he spoke. "Absolutely no one here is allowed to hit anyone else. Do you understand? I do not want anyone on my team being benched today. It's too important. You're all needed." He turned to where Toni was mulling around on the field, her pompoms nervously shaking "Toni, I'm specifically talking to you when I say this."

Toni tried to look innocent, walking over to the group. "What on Earth would I do? I'm not even on the team!"

The rest of the team laughed, but Fangs put his arm around her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "Honestly, Toni. Don't hit him when you see him."

"Hit who?" Toni flashed him a smile, but Fangs just arched his eyebrow and gave her a knowing look. Toni slumped, "Yeah, yeah, I know. I won't hit him."

Fangs thumped her on the back, ruffling her ponytail "Good girl. You better cheer loud as hell!"

"Hey, Toni," Sweetpea called out, "What word did you use yesterday to describe Cheryl? I can't remember."

Toni put up her middle finger. "Fuck off, Pea."

Jughead joined in, snapping a shot of Sweetpea and Fangs who were trying to knock each other off balance "Oh, I think I remember, Sweetpea. Something like earthal? Auraful?"

"Ethereal!" Fang exclaimed, "She said Cheryl was ethereal."

"How poetic," a small voice behind him said, and Toni nearly broke her neck turning to see who it was.

Cheryl was standing on the field, smiling shyly and wringing her hands in her sleeves. A preppy, stone-faced blonde girl was beside her, a huge grin breaking out on her face as she gripped Cheryl's upper arm in a death grip.

Toni felt her face grow hot, Sweetpea's cackling piercing her concentration as she turned to tell him to shut the hell up.

"Are we early?" Cheryl asked, looking around the field nervously. The game was due to start in ten minutes, and the stands were already filling out with families and friends. Bright red and yellow banners shone in the sunlight, happy colours in contrast to the hazy blue and off-putting yellow of the Northside banners.

From the corner of her eye, Toni spotted the tall stride of her uncles and cousins take the high seats of the stands. Her heart caught in her chest, but her mind told her to ignore it.

"Not at all," she managed to say, "Jug should be around somewhere , same with Kevin– they'll show you where to go. Fangs, where's your boyfriend?"

Fangs shrugged at the same time Betty stage whispered, "Are you going to introduce us?"

Cheryl whacked her in the arm, her cheeks visibly pinking. She mumbled, "Toni, this is Betty. Betty, Toni."

Toni stuck out her hand, like she'd been taught to do when meeting new people, realizing too late it was a trait carried over from her family. She swallowed thickly, croaking, "Hello, Betty. I've heard a lot about you."

Betty took her hand gladly, "And I about you."

Cheryl cut in, "Let's not go there," as the referee blew her whistle to assemble the teams.

"Uh, Jug?" Toni managed, turning to the boy who re-appeared beside her "Wanna show Betty where to go?" 

"Uh, yeah, sure." The boy nodded dumbly, adjusting his beanie and chasing after the girl who was already making her way to the stands, mumbling something about a true crime case he watched the night before. Cheryl stayed and grabbed Toni by the arm, asking her if she was ok.

"I can leave, you know, if that's the problem." She bit her bottom lip nervously

Toni scoffed, "Don't be silly, Moony." She paused. "My families here. Aunts and uncles and cousins and whit. but for Malachai, not for me."

"Well, Betty and I are here for you."

Over Cheryl's shoulder, Toni could see Betty hover at the edge of the field, talking animatedly with Jughead. "They seem to be getting along,"

Cheryl smiled warmly, looking back at her friend fondly. "I may be the actual cheerleader, but I definitely have the hottest girl cheering ME on."

Cheryl poked her in the stomach. "Flirt."

Toni flashed her a grin, the whistle erupting in her ears again. Josie was shouting for her to hurry up, so Toni roughly pulled Cheryl into a hug.

"Oh, hugging," Cheryl sounded surprised, but amused as she linked her arms around Toni's waist.

Cheryl’s hair smelled like a faint rose shampoo, and her body was soft from layers of sweaters. Toni liked how she had to stand on her top toes to wrap her arms the other girl’s neck, and the thought of this is real hit her so full force that she gripped Cheryl a little tighter.

"They're going to watch Malachai lose," Cheryl whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down Toni’s spine. "If you win, I'll even kiss you in front of your stupid ducking bigotted family."

Toni hardly had time to register her words when Cheryl was pulling away, a mischievous grin spread on her face. A spark lit up low in Toni’s stomach.

"Is that another promise?" Toni asked, loosely linking their hands and running her thumb against the soft porcelain she found

Cheryl smiled, "Good luck." She began walking over to Betty when she turned and said, "Oh, Toni?"

Toni could hear Josie shouting abuse at her, but kept her feet’s planted on the grass anyway, "Yeah?"

"Nice ponytail."

Toni reflexively brought her hand up to run through her hair, smiling at the ground as she slinked over to join the rest of the cheer squad and Cheryl found Betty and Jughead at the stands.

They were already centered in the middle of the field, Reggie Manyle eyeing Fangs wickedly thru his helmet. Sweetpea was busying flipping off and swearing at Verne from his spot on the back of the line, waiting for the game to begin.

Turning away from her friends, Toni surveyed the crowd, spotting Cheryl sat in between Kevin and Betty, with Jughead on the later’s side flipping thru his camera shots. FP was sitting behind them and tapping Kevin enthusiastically on the shoulder as he spoke with him and Cheryl. Cheryl looks intimidated, with Jellybean basically thrumming with excitement and flicking her brother in the back of his head.

"Ughhh, FP is already attacking Cheryl," Toni whined, and Josie laughed. “It’s what he does.”

From the inner circle, Fangs jogged on the spot and pulled faces at an unamused Reggie. “He’s all of our dad’s. You get to deal with the embarrassing shit as much as the rest of us,” Fangs shouted at her from his spot  
Behind Reggie, Malachai stood statue still, ready and poised for the whistle to blow and the ball to be sent his way. He didn't flinch when he heard Toni’s voice.

“they're going to scare her away!" Toni groaned, looking back and forth from her amused friends to the redhead sitting gingerly on the bleachers

"Hey, Topaz," Joaquin cut in, "As riveting as your love life is, now is not the time or place!"

Malachai’s head whipped to meet Toni’s eyes, confusion painted on his face. Her stomach became a knot when he said, "Love life?"

Toni rolled her eyes, stalking up the field to face him with Fangs and Sweetpea backing her “Yeah, Malachai, I have this uncanny ability of being able to care for another human being."

Reggie made an ugly snort, not even turning to face Toni as he said, "Mm, but caring for another woman, though. That's a little wrong.”

Sweetpea instantly stepped into Reggie’s personal space, shouting "What are you trying to say?!" While Fangs broke the circle boundaries and screamed at him, "You shut the fuck up!"

Behind Fangs’s head Toni could see movement from Malachai, but her view was cut off when Phillips stood in front of him, pushing him away from Reggie and ordering him to get back in position.

She thought of Cheryl in the stands, thought of how sitting on the bench all game would be mortifying, and so clenching her fists stepped down from the fight.

Besides, winning was essential now.

*

It wasn't hard for Cheryl to spot which one Malachai was. He had a similar set jaw, same dark hair and slender build as Toni, but his posture was rigid and controlled, as if his skeleton was constricted in his tan skin. Toni stood more easily, more carefree, making the sudden stiffness in shoulders more identifiable. Cheryl saw Malachai move from his statue pose, his heart setting in frenzy, hoping Toni wouldn't lose control.

“Toni and Malachai are arguing already," Kevin tried to say lightly, but Cheryl could hear the strain in his voice.

"Well, you know Toni," FP said behind them, just as strained, "Any chance she gets."

Cheryl watched as Fangs and Toni leapt at the dark haired boy in the middle simultaneously, both of them shouting and clawing at him. The boy just laughed as the referee tried to restrain them. Cheryl gripped the edge of her seat; behind her Jellybean was tittering.

“Don’t do this, Toni...” Jughead groaned, seemingly ready to bounce to his feet and down to the field in a blink of the eye

"Will this game be particularly violent and brutal because it's a final?" Cheryl asked.

She was relieved to see Toni step down, stepping off to join the other cheerleaders once again, her fists clenched on her waist

"Have you never seen a bunch of teenage boys play in a football final before?" Kevin asked her, eyes glued on Fangs

Betty cut in, "No, Cheryl was always more into the cheerleaders."

The small group laughed as Cheryl covered her face   
“Betty always wanted to watch some brutal murder mystery and so we had to compromise.” 

"Can't disagree with that," Betty threw her blonde hair over her shoulder, Jughead had a shit eating grin on his face, "Let's just say that there's already an ambulance waiting on the street." He said thru his stupor 

Cheryl groaned, "That doesn't fill me with confidence."

Jughead laughed, clapping his hands and quickly raising to his feet to shout at the new player coming onto the field. Cheryl felt like her eyes were going to fall out of her head.

There, standing at 5’5 with an oversized jersey and helmet twice the size, was Toni, bounding onto to the field and greeting the group of guys who buried her into a group hug.  
“What?! She’s playing?!”

FP laughed along with his son “Surprise. Toni isnt just a sideline cheerleader. She’s the wide receiver.”

Cheryl gaped, a sound of astoundement coming from beside her where Betty sat “Damn, Cher. A cheerleader and a football player? Holy shit.”

The redhead nodded dumbly, her throat thick at the sight of the small girl getting into position on the far end of the line of boys. “I thought girls weren’t allowed to play?” Betty voiced, seemingly reading Cheryl’s mind “Southside is kinda cool this way.” Jellybean replied, before cheering for the brunette serpent.

The game had started, but Cheryl had quickly lost sight of where the ball was, too busy keeping an eye on Toni and praying she doesn't cause herself or anyone else bodily injury from the anger coursing thru her tiny body

JB tapped her on the shoulder reassuringly. "She’ll be fine, Blossom. Toni’s tough as nails."

Cheryl could hear the quiet muttering of FP behind her, urging on the boys on the field and tapping his foot lightly for emphasis. Although they weren't far from the field, Cheryl still found it hard to keep track of what was happening, trying to follow the line of the ball but always turning her attention back to where Toni was.

Cheryl thought that skirt was going to kill her, and now that oversized jersey seemed to be her casket.

"You weren't lying when you said she was hot," Betty whispered in her ear.

"I never said hot," Cheryl whispered back, hoping Kevin and the Jones’ couldn't hear her, “I thought it would be too much of an understatement."

Betty whistled, "No kidding. Can we share this one too?"

Cheryl was glad they were joking about it now, but while she laughed and told Betty to fuck off, a flare of possession burned in her chest.

Cheryl finally found the ball, as Toni was sprinting it up the field, just about to reach the end zone when a heavy set Northsider player cut her off, tackling her harshly to the ground.  
The Southside spectators immediately roared in disdain, Kevin and the Jones’ leaping from their seats in protest. Cheryl stood quickly, standing on the tips of her toes to watch Toni pull herself from the ground, rolling her bandaged arm and giving Fangs a thumbs up. They all collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

"What?" Kevin sounded incredulous. "Is she smiling?"

"More importantly," Mr. Jones added, "She’s not punching."

The referee blew her whistle, taking the ball and setting it in the spot Toni was tackled and ordering her a fair catch kick.

"She’d usually be building up a storm by now," Jughead commented.

Betty smiled, watching Cheryl from the corner of her eye. "I think she has incentive."

Cheryl glared at her, which only served to make her laugh as her cheeks bloomed fresh red. "I regret bringing you," she told her but she just stuck out her tongue.

On the field, Toni was lining up to take the shot, but not before giving the opposing team linebacker’s, Verne, a sarcastic wave. Toni kicked the ball, gliding smoothly through the air and thru the goal posts

The crowd exploded into victorious cheers, the stands shaking from the sudden upheaval and stamping of feet. Kevin and the Jones’ were shouting in Cheryl's ear, and even Betty had jumped up, waving her arms furiously in the air and cheering. Somehow, she ended up in Jughead’s arms, giving him a bone crushing hug. Cheryl caught herself cheering too, beaming down at Toni who was being drowned by her teammates. Fangs was jumping on her back, rubbing her hair furiously and shouting in excitement.

Amongst all the booming, Cheryl caught Toni's eye, and the sound seemed to drain away, just the two of them watching, both with smiles plastered on their faces.

It didn't last long, the referee's whistle coming out in short bursts to settle the players and the crowd to begin the second quarter of the game. Betty was giving him an amused look, which Cheryl pointedly ignored, and took her seat again.

It was clear that Toni’s goal had really set the game in motion, the opposition starting to stick their elbows out and exaggerating their falls a little too hard. The Southsider’s weren't innocent of it either; Barty running directly into Kurtz as the ball came their way, throwing them both to the ground and the referee calling a foul. Fangs began swearing at Kurtz, soon swearing at everyone and when the whistle sounded for half time his face flushed from shouting.

They were only seated three levels up from the team's bench, and so could hear Fangs very clearly when he told his team, "If any of you dicks even think about being benched this half, my boot is going to go so far up your ass –"

Sweetpea cut in, "Well, Toni –"

"Sweetpea, do not!" Toni warned.

Cheryl heard Betty laugh beside her

"The two of you need to shut up and stop showing off in front of Bombshell. Sweetpea, you nearly let one past you and don't think I'm not going to hold it over you if you don't shut up."

Cheryl could feel the blush on the tips of her ears and Betty shaking from suppressed giggles beside her. Toni looked up at her, smiled shyly, and then joined the huddled circle Fangs had formed with the team.

The huddled Riverdale High team on the opposite side of the field looked calm, their resting faces were calculating, determined, and it made Cheryl all the more worried.

Cheryl waved nervously as the shrill of the whistle went, and Toni ran onto the field once more. 

*

Toni was used to playing with so many people watching, normally forgetting they were there until a goal was scored or a foul was made and then the wave of yelling washed over her and she was brought back to the world. But surprising Cheryl, from going to a feminine high ponied cheerleader to a jock in a sweaty Jersey was never ending nerves:

She’d heard Fangs say it was like having tunnel vision, the way you only concentrated on the game and nothing else around you. People could be dying in those stands, but Toni wouldn't have any idea.

But now, now of all games, Toni felt eyes pinned to her back, burning her like lasers. She knew it was ridiculous, but they made her itch, and glancing quickly every now and then told her it was Moony, always Moony, not that she was surprised.

She was worried she would forget how to walk with Cheryl watching her so closely, but she somehow managed to score the game's only goal thus far, and the look of admiration on Cheryl’s face was worth it all.

As soon as they were back on the field for the second half, Toni knew the Northsiders were playing their defense man-on-man. Each red and yellow jersey had an accompanying blue and yellow, pairs dotted all over the field.

A small presence was beside her, and she didn't need to look to know who'd been paired up with her.

"Of all the people you could pick?" Toni grunted.

Malachai shrugged. "I thought we could take the time to talk," he said quietly.

"No."

The whistle cried and Toni took off straight for the open route, not really to become immediately involved but to just get away, to try and shake Malachai off as quickly as she could.

But the boy was fast, Toni had to give him that, as he easily trailed her, not blocking in front of her but just following behind.

Toni was instructed to stay on the opposition's side, waiting by the sideline for Fang’s famous throws that can travel over most of the field.

“Who's the girl in the stands?" Malachai asked, "The one you... The one that spoke to you before the game."

Toni decided to ignore him, the mere idea of talking about Cheryl with him causing her teeth to grind down. She kept running, hoping running would stop her from hitting her brother in the face every time he opened his mouth.

"I mean, she doesn't go here. How did you meet her?” Malachai sounded genuinely curious, albeit a little out of breath, as he jogged to keep up with his younger sister.

On the other end of the field the ball stayed mostly in the same place, turning over to the other team consistently, tackles trying to be dealt but no one falling to the mud. The ball never made it past the 30 yard line. Toni thought about going over there to help, and then imagined the shit storm of insults Fangs would rain down on her for leaving her post as wide receiver, and decided against it. She was needed here, even if here meant Malachai..

"Is she a friend of Drew’s?”

"Shut up," Toni snapped.

Toni was getting restless now; it was taking too long for them to bring the ball down here, and the longer it stayed up at their goals the higher risk there was of the Northside scoring. Barty already looked like he was running slowly.

"I'm not going to..." Malachai trailed off.

"What?" Toni turned to him finally. "What is it you want to ask me, really?"

Toni could nearly see the cogs turning in his head, calculating what would be the best response, the most revealing but subtle, Toni knew. Malachai always spoke when he knew his answers three steps ahead, knowing where the conversation will lead and how it'll work to his advantage.

He could nearly get away with it, his computing mind hidden behind a soft face, if only he didn't bite the inside of his cheek when he thought. That was his sign, and Toni learned it long ago. They did the same thing. She wasn't interested in what he had to say.

"Are you happy with the choice you've made?" Malachai asked softly.

The question caught her off guard, and couldn't help but gaze over at Cheryl sitting nervously in the stands. There was no doubt when she replied, "Duh."

Malachai nodded his head solemnly, suddenly focusing again as the ball flew over their way.

"Finally!" Toni shouted as she charged to the ball and instantly took possession, running it down toward the end zone. Malachai matched her in speed easily, and Toni suspected he only half-attempted to slip his feet in the way.

Toni passed it over to Joaquin, who ran it to the goal and got tackled by Verne. Verne drop kicked the ball sending it over to the center line and into the opposition's possession again.

Toni could hear the violent swearing from Fangs, and Phillips’ warning that if he curses again she he’ll kick him off the field.

"You'll have to play better than that if you don't want the family to disown you like they did me," Toni snarled at her brother.

The rest of the game continued in this pattern, the defense on both sides becoming dirtier as the clock ticked out. Malachai had started to elbow Toni in the ribs to get in front of him, which Toni was not averse to doing back.

Her comment had not gone unheard, however, as Malachai pushed and fought for the ball when it came their way. It only brought Toni greater satisfaction when she was able to break Malachai's defences, keeping the ball easily as she slipped it past her older brother.

On the opposite end the Southside in defense were getting agitated, unable to break through Riverdale High’s offense. Toni could see Sweetpea was lagging in his reactions by the end zone and the rest of the team seemed to pick up on it too. Their blocking came in hard, knocking down the other players and clapping angrily whenever they tried to throw them off themselves 

Even from the distance, Toni could see it was a considerable effort for Fangs to not swear.

Neither side had scored since Toni's penalty at the beginning of the game, and the Northsiders were becoming desperate in their bid to score. With five minutes left to go they were charging through with new energy, making Fangs pick up his swearing and shouting again. Phillips ignored it this time, as the crowd started shouting deafeningly in the final minutes.

Fangs shouted for all of them to come into defense, Toni sprinting as soon as she heard the call and quickly losing Malachai in the sea of players.

Fangs was still shouting instructions, but Toni didn't need to be listening to know what he saying. They almost had like a hive mind, FP once told them, the way they knew what the other was thinking without saying a word. All four of them. Sweetpea, Jughead, Fangs, Toni. Even when they were kids.  
The aim was to keep the Northside from scoring; they would be entirely in defense for the last two minutes of the game.

The blaring of the crowd seemed to keep them going, Toni’s legs and arm aching from exertion, but determined to push on. They had to win, for the glory of beating the preppy rich northsiders, but also for a promise. Thinking about it made her heart stutter and her legs feel weak, but she carried on.

Time felt like it was speeding up, as the crowd had started counting down from ten seconds to signal the end of the game. Toni started laughing from victory, but Fangs was still screaming as Kurtz ran straight thru the lineup of southsiders, ball tucked safely under his arm. Toni watched in slow horror as Barty skidded in front, kicking his foot right into Kurtz’ ankle.

The Northside stands instantly sounded in boos, and Phillips blew his whistle and called for a foul. Kurtz was going to be given a penalty score.

Fangs called for a time out, slinging his arm over Sweetpea’s shoulders and muttering into his ear. Toni walked to them, seeing Sweetpea’s face pale as he approached.

"You'll be alright, dude," Toni told him, and the rest of the team had gathered around to pat Sweetpea on the shoulder, giving him words of encouragement. Barty was rambling apologies, telling any player who would listen that he didn't mean to kick Kurtz, it was all a mistake, he was really very sorry.

"If he misses it," Fangs told him, "I'll get Barty to strip naked and run through the field. How about that?"

Sweetpea let out a nervous laugh as the whistle blew to call them back.

"We don't call you Penalty Pea for nothing." Joaquin thumped him on the back.

"You don't call me Penalty Pea at all," Sweetpea squeaked.

The players all stood at the center line, watching from a distance. This would be the last play of the game.

Kurtz took his place in front of the goals, looking as nervous as Sweetpea standing in the lip of the goals. The field was silent, for the first time the crowd hushed and waiting.

Phillips blew his whistle again, indicating for Kurtz to kick. Kurtz took a few steps back and then charged at the ball, kicking it smoothly in the air.

Sweetpea had to jump high to save it, but expertly caught the ball to his chest, sending a wave of applause and bellowing to blow through the crowd.

Toni started screaming, charging to Sweetpea and jumping on his back excitedly. Fangs and the rest of the team swallowed Sweetpea too, screaming incoherently and tackling him to the ground.

The crowd from the Southside stands spilled onto the field, collectively drowning all the players in streams of red and gold. Jughead snapped a shot, tossed the camera at Betty then ran to jump on his friends.  
Tissue paper rained down on them in colours of crimson, and Toni didn't know where they came from, but as she pulled herself off the mass of bodies suffocating Sweetpea, she saw the gold shining in the air too. She watched them fall into the messy red of a quiet girl, standing out as a beacon of nervousness among all the celebration. Toni felt her heart pick up too.

"Congratulations," Cheryl said when she approached her, smiling at the ground and kicking her feet at the grass absently. Her hands were wedged securely in her pockets.

"Thank you," Toni replied, and before she could stop herself added, "You look good in gold."

The paper squares had caught in her hood, which Cheryl now shook out and laughed bashfully. Toni’s hands were glistening with sweat, anticipation driving through her as Cheryl finally looked up and slowly leaned in closer to press her warm lips to Toni’s. Their noses bumped into each other, causing Cheryl to giggle and open her mouth a little, but Toni was frozen with her lips unmoving. She cherished the softness of Cheryl’s lips firm and soft on her own, a spark of giddiness and excitement washing through her like a shudder.

She hadn't realized she closed her eyes, but when she opened them she saw the most beautiful sight, Cheryl with her cheeks fully flushed and lips quirked in a coy grin, unable to stop the small fits of giggles bubbling through her. Toni’s back felt uncomfortably hot, and her heart was racing to break her ribs, but her face splitting smile was stuck.

"Do you think your family saw?" Cheryl asked jokingly, but Toni leaned in again to press a quick but firm kiss to her lips again.

"Just in case they didn't the first time."

Cheryl lightly pecked her again and said, "Or the second."

The crowd had started filling out of the field, making their way to the school to continue their celebrations there. Toni’s teammates hit her on the back, asking her if she was coming too.

"Want to join in the after party?" She asked the taller girl.

Cheryl’s face fell instantly. "I'd love to, but I can't. We told Archie’s parents we'd be home for dinner. They worry."

“Oh yeah,” Toni nodded, only now noticing the absence of the other boy “He wants to know every detail.”

She indicated roughly to his general being, an unplanned cough escaping her throat for emphasis to the worry of the Andrew’s.

"I get it," Toni said quickly. They were some of the last few people still on the grass, the Northside players and spectators leaving the field almost instantly.

"I'll see you soon?" Cheryl sounded hopeful.

"Definitely," Toni said emphatically, "I seem to remember it's someone's birthday tomorrow."

Cheryl groaned, but couldn't stop the smile playing on her lips. "Nothing inappropriate."

Toni raised an eyebrow, "Would birthday sex be considered inappropriate?"

Cheryl groaned again, burying her face in her hands. Toni laughed at her.

"You definitely are a bitch," Cheryl finally said.

"I know," Toni agreed, "But that's why you like me."

Toni expected a sarcastic answer, as usual with Cheryl when their conversations went like this, but she just smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

She slowly backed away, waving before turning and meeting Betty at the edge of the pitch, who was unashamedly watching their conversation. She quickly gave Jughead a hug, and seemed to pass him her number as his cheeks flushed.  
Toni briefly wondered what else she had watched, and if her family had seen too.

She hoped so.

With the tingling memory of Cheryl’s lips on her own, her pulse still beating furiously, Toni left the field to join the after party and celebrate her own victory.

*

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
I like your lips.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
They go well with your hands.

(9:56) -Toni-  
You should see the rest of me.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
I expect I will.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
I hope I do.

(9:58) -Toni-  
Bombshell

(9:58) -Toni-  
Just you try and stop me.


	12. Because You’re 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whole gANG IS BACK TOGETHER

Monday AM

(12:00) -Toni-  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

(12:00) -Toni-  
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE 18?

(12:00) -Toni-  
DO YOU FEEL OLD?

(12:00) -Toni-  
YOU'RE SO OLD.

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
I'm also tired.

(12:01) -Toni-  
Moony, that's not the birthday spirit I'm lookin' for

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
I'M ALSO TIRED.

(12:02) -Toni-  
Happy Birthday, Cheryl.

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
Thank you. To answer your earlier question, I don't feel older at all.

(12:02) -Toni-  
Impossible. It's been... nearly three minutes, Moony, you should be hunched over with elderly bones.

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm hunched over with prolonged sitting and bad posture. Halfway there.

(12:03) -Toni-  
I guess it'll have to be good enough for now. I'll let you sleep.

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

(12:04) -Toni-  
Night, Moony.

*

(12:00) -Betty-  
Happy Birthday Best Friend!

(12:00) -Cheryl-  
You're such a sap, sometimes

(12:00) -Betty-  
It's the one day of the year you'll let me be.

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
No embarrassing Facebook statuses or Instagram posts this year. Please?

(12:01) -Betty-  
It's your 18th! It's the big one! I can't pass this one up.

(12:01) -Betty-  
Hey, you know what I should do...

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
?

(12:02) -Betty-  
I should ask Lover Girl to be my friend on Facebook!

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
It's too late for this conversation.

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
Or too early

(12:02) -Betty-  
Whatever

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
Just, no.

(12:03) -Betty-  
Jeez, don't panic Birthday Girl.

(12:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm going back to sleep.

(12:03) -Betty-  
Baby. Good night.

*

(12:13) -Archie-  
Happy birthday,Cherry!

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
You're late.

(12:13) -Archie-  
By thirteen minutes, c'mon.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
Betty had to wake you up, didn't she?

(12:15) -Archie-  
Honestly, I didn't think you'd like being woken up at midnight.

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
So this is a friend solidarity thing?

(12:15) -Archie-  
Sure. 

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
You're a great friend, Archie

(12:16) -Archie-  
I don't appreciate your appropriate sarcasm at the moment, Cheryl.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
You didn't want to wake me up in the middle of the night, and yet you're the one keeping me awake the longest.

(12:17) -Archie-  
Shit

(12:17) -Archie-  
Happy birthday and goodnight and stuff love u

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
Goodnight and stuff. Love u too

*

(9:23) -Toni-  
Do you feel older yet?

(9:25) -Cheryl-  
I do. The weight of the world is heavy. It drowns me like a cloud raining down upon me endlessly, life seeming bleak, taxes coming out of my arse.

(9:25) -Toni-  
Is this sass? Are you giving me sass?

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
I've learned from the best, haven't I?

(9:27) -Toni-  
I'm honoured to have taught you, Bombshell.

(9:28) -Toni-  
So, what'd you get?

(9:29) -Cheryl-  
A new set of lungs and laser vision.

(9:30) -Toni-  
Not wings?

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Nana says they were all out.

(9:31) -Toni-  
Bummer.

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
I got a kindle because I have no more space on my bookshelf.

(9:32) -Toni-  
Nerd.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Be quiet.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
Also thermal socks.

(9:34) -Toni-  
SUCH A NERD.

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
They're patterned too.

(9:35) -Toni-  
Only you would be pleased with socks as presents.

(9:35) -Cheryl-  
My dad's quite fond of them too.

(9:36) -Toni-  
Ah, so being a nerd is hereditary?

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
Apparently so. I also got a rubix cube, a telescope, some beakers, three calculators, and a retainer.

(9:37) -Toni-  
Are you doing sass again??

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
A little. But I did get a telescope. Lyon's enthusiasm got me interested.

(9:39) -Toni-  
Try and find me up there.

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
Like you're hard to miss.

(9:41) -Toni-  
That's either a compliment or an insult.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
And I'm not sticking around long enough to let you know.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
Going to the lake with my parents now. Kill me.

(9:45) -Toni-  
See you later!

(9:47) -Toni-  
Happy Birthday Moonstar!

*

Monday PM

(12:04) -Fangs-  
Happy Birthday Cheryl!

(12:04) -Fangs-  
:-)

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
Oh, thank you, Fangs.

(12:05) -Fangs-  
No problem.

(12:05) -Fangs-  
Also don't sound so surprised.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
Sorry. It was just... unexpected.

(12:06) -Fangs-  
Well expect another.

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
Excuse me?

*

(12:10) -Sweetpea-  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOONY!!!!

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
Thank you, Sweetpea.

(12:12) -Sweetpea-  
18, huh? Gonna get smashed?

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
It's unadvisable that I drink.

(12:13) -Sweetpea-  
Why?

(12:14) -Sweetpea-  
Oh shit, sorry.

(12:14) -Cheryl-  
It's ok.

(12:14) -Sweetpea-  
Not even a little?

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Is there a point?

(12:16) -Sweetpea-  
If you're not getting drunk? Honestly... no.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
There you go.

(12:19) -Sweetpea-  
Then I hope you have a good day completely sober but within your legal democratic right to purchase alcoholic substances in Alberta, Canada.

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Thanks.

*

(2:42) -Betty-  
Im confirming that you're still good for tomorrow.

(2:42) -Toni-  
Still good.

(2:45) -Betty-  
7pm.Pop's. On time.

(2:46) -Toni-  
Yes, Betty, I remember.

(2:47) -Betty-  
Better safe than late.

(2:47) -Betty-  
Hey, what did you get her?

(2:47) -Toni-  
I mean, you got her something, right?

(2:48) -Betty-  
Don't ever listen to her when she says not to get her anything.

(2:48) -Toni-  
I'm getting her something.

(2:49) -Betty-  
What is it?

(2:55) -Betty-  
Ah, am I not allowed to ask?

(2:55) -Toni-  
It's a little

(2:56) -Toni-  
I mean

(2:57) -Betty-  
I either don't want to know or it's incredibly dorky and romantic.

(2:58) -Toni-  
I'm not even going to answer this.

(2:59) -Betty-  
Either way, Cheryl is going to die, so I wholeheartedly approve.

(3:00) -Toni-  
Uh, thanks?

(3:01) -Betty-  
See you tomorrow, Lover Girl.

(3:01) -Toni-  
Good God.

*

(3:12) -Juggy-  
Dude, where are you?

(3:12) -Toni-  
Out. About. Hitting the town.

(3:13) -Fangs-  
Toni.

(3:14) -Toni-  
Moony's present.

(3:15) -Fangs-  
You're skipping class!

(3:15) -Toni-  
They close at four!

(3:16) -Fangs-  
You left this a little late, didn't you?

(3:17) -Toni-  
Oh, and when were you going to let me leave?

(3:18) -Toni-  
Sunday? Hm?

(3:18) -Toni-  
And in case you don't recall, I was a bit preoccupied Saturday.

(3:19) -Fangs-  
Ok, ok. Sheesh.

(3:20) -Juggy-  
What's the present?

(3:21) -Toni-  
I'm sure you'll have a look at it when I'm not around later tonight.

(3:21) -Juggy-  
You're right. I'll just see it then.

(3:22) -Toni-  
Dick. Bye.

*

(3:47) -Toni-  
MOONY LOOK

(3:47) -Toni-  
*1 image attached*

https://images.custommade.com/GKRCEcd2vuJ_TILKZP6HNAx1XuI=/custommade-photosets/300893/300893.1016585.jpg

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
Did you make that yourself?

(3:48) -Toni-  
Nope!

(3:49) -Toni-  
Apparently I'm not the only one with the ingenuity of naming pets 'Sheba'.

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
That poor thing. I mean, no one cares much about goldfish, do they? But you tell someone you named your dog Sheba and they'd call it abuse... especially if it’s a leather dog collar

(3:51) -Toni-  
Moony, I can't believe you. I give you solid evidence that the name Sheba is used by others and you diss it!

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
How many other people are naming their pets Sheba, though, as a shortened version of Bathsheba?

(3:56) -Toni-  
Aw, you remembered.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
'Bathsheba' sounds like some kind of demon my mother should have warned me about.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
So of course I remembered it.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
It's ingrained into my nightmares.

(3:59) -Toni-  
You're a big girl now, Cheryl, I think it's time I told you that

(4:00) -Toni-  
The Boogeyman is absolutely real and so is Santa.

(4:03) -Cheryl-  
I always knew it. I knew my mother was lying about Santa. She just wanted the credit for herself. Or credit for the nanny's job.

(4:05) -Toni-  
Exactly. Adults can't be trusted, and you're an adult now.

(4:06) -Toni-  
I don't know if I can trust you anymore.

(4:07) -Cheryl-  
Probably not. I'll tell you we're going to Disney Land and pull up at the vet's instead.

(4:08) -Toni-  
The cruelest betrayal. You cut deep, Bombshell.

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
What are you doing at a pet store, anyway?

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
Oh God

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
You're not getting me a fish, are you?

(4:11) -Toni-  
Course not.

(4:11) -Toni-  
Unless you'd like one.

(4:12) -Cheryl-  
No more fish!

(4:15) -Toni-  
I think Sheba could use a friend.

(4:16) -Cheryl-  
Sheba has me. And if you behave, they'll have you too.

(4:17) -Toni-  
Fiiiine. I won't get you another fish.

(4:18) -Cheryl-  
Good.

(4:19) -Cheryl-  
You still haven't answered the question, though.

(4:21) -Toni-  
Do I need a reason to go into the pet store, Moony?

(4:24) -Cheryl-  
I feel like the answer is yes.

(4:26) -Toni-  
Well, you would be wrong.

(4:27) -Cheryl-  
Do you mean to tell me that you can just... walk right by a pet store?

(4:28) -Toni-  
Uh? Yes?

(4:28) -Toni-  
You mean you don't go in to look at all the animals?

(4:29) -Cheryl-  
We've established that animals don't like me all that much.

(4:30) -Toni-  
They're literally in cages! Glass boxes! Cruel treatment, if you ask me.

(4:32) -Cheryl-  
So you went into the pet store just to look at the animals?

(4:33)-Toni-  
... Yeah.

(4:33) -Toni-  
I had time to kill!

(4:35) -Cheryl-  
TT, you're adorable.

(4:36) -Toni-  
Puppies are adorable, Cheryl.

(4:38) -Cheryl-  
You are the biggest puppy I know.

(4:39) -Toni-  
So are you saying that if I was a puppy in a pet shop, you'd come in to see me?

(4:40) -Cheryl-  
I might just have to.

(4:42) -Toni-  
Good to know.

(4:43) -Toni-  
Gotta dash, Bombshell. Things to do.

(4:45) -Cheryl-  
What kind of things? I'm concerned. You're not at school and it's a Monday.

(4:46) -Toni-  
Sh, don't worry.

(4:47) -Cheryl-  
I'm very worried!

(4:48) -Toni-  
Good bye, Bombshell!

(4:49) -Cheryl-  
TT!

(4:50) -Toni-  
Happy Birthday!

*

(5:53) -Cheryl-  
I'm older than you.

(5:53) -Cheryl-  
How the hell can I be older than you?

(5:54) -Toni-  
Are you denying being the more mature one?

(5:54) -Cheryl-  
I'm denying a universe where I could plausibly be older than you.

(5:56) -Toni-  
On what basis?

(5:57) -Cheryl-  
I look like a twelve-year boy who got his hair stuck in the vacuum.

(5:58) -Toni-  
So in the vacuum of the universe, a person's hair determines their age?

(5:59) -Cheryl-  
Don't get clever.

(5:59) -Toni-  
To assure you, Id like to say that you definitely do not look like a twelve year old boy. I feel like I have some authority on this.

(6:01) -Cheryl-  
The authority of face analysis?

(6:02) -Toni-  
The authority of having been in close proximity of said face and concluded that it looked old enough to kiss.

(6:02) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I'm sure that was your thought process at the time.

(6:04) -Toni-  
Ok, it was mostly just 'shit shit shit.'

(6:04) -Cheryl-  
Mine was 'oh fuck.'

(6:05) -Cheryl-  
How eloquent we are.

(6:05) -Toni-  
Still made for a good end result, however.

(6:06) -Cheryl-  
It did.

(6:06) -Cheryl-  
I hope we get more end results like that.

(6:07) -Toni-  
Me too.

(6:08) -Toni-  
I should go get some dinner. I'll call you later?

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
Make it after eight. My parents want to do fancy dinner. Apparently being 18 is a big deal?

(6:10) -Toni-  
To most it would be. But consider, Moony!

(6:10) -Toni-  
You can vote now.

(6:11) -Cheryl-  
Excellent. "Who do I hate the least?"

(6:11) -Toni-  
Talk to you later, Bombshell. Happy Birthday.

(6:12) -Cheryl-  
Bye.

*

(6:01) -Fangs-  
Toni

(6:02) -Fangs-  
Toni, dude.

(6:02) -Fangs-  
Toni

(6:03) -Cheryl-  
What?

(6:04) -Fangs-  
Just. Toni.

(6:04) -Toni-  
Fangs I'm gonna need

(6:05) -Toni-  
Oh shit you found it.

(6:05) -Fangs-  
I did.

(6:05) -Fangs-  
Toni.

(6:06) -Toni-  
Don't you

(6:06) -Toni-  
Not a word

(6:07) -Fangs-  
Broooo.

(6:07) -Toni-  
Shut up.

(6:08) -Fangs-  
Wow.

(6:08) -Toni-  
I said shut up!

(6:08) -Fangs-  
Kevin awwwed so hard.

(6:09) -Toni-  
I'm turning my phone off.

(6:09) -Fangs-  
Wait until I show Sweetpea and Jug

(6:10) -Toni-  
drew

(6:10) -Toni-  
No

(6:10) -Fangs-  
TOO LATE!

(6:11) -Toni-  
I HATE YOU DREW FOGARTY

(6:11) -Toni-  
YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE GROUND OUTSIDE

(6:12) -Fangs-  
WORTH IT!

(6:12) -Fangs-  
But honestly, Toni. It's very sweet.

(6:13) -Toni-  
Yeah, yeah.

(6:13) -Toni-  
I want your stuff gone by the time I get there.

(6:14) -Fangs-  
You're a harsh wife.

(6:14) -Toni-  
I do what I have to for this family 

*

[Answer: Toni]

"You're not going to sing happy birthday, are you?"

"I hadn't considered it, but now that you mention it..."

"Absolutely not. I already had Betty scream at me through the landline."

"She did a screamo version of happy birthday? Betty just gets better."

"Archie did backing vocals."

"When are they releasing their album?"

"Probably post-mortem, Archie was pretty embarrassed."

"That's because he has no sense of fun."

"Hey, behave. I feel like I need to put Archie into a witness protection program. God help him if the two of you ever meet."

"If?"

"If or when. Probably when, but for his sake, I hope it's an 'if.'"

"I promise I won't go out of my way to seek him. Like, stalk him, or anything."

"A small reassurance, but I'll take it."

"So, did you have a good birthday? Happy Birthday, by the way."

"Yes, thank you, you've said. It was nice. Dad took the day off work to celebrate, which was weird. I think my parents are reminded on each birthday just how few more there are left to go, and how many they've missed."

"Cheryl..."

"Sorry, that was morbid."

"A little."

"I'm sure they don't mean to, but they always look a little sad on my birthday. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it."

"Could be a growing up thing rather than a..."

"Dying young thing?"

"R-right. FP is always going on about how we're growing up too quickly. Especially this year, considering we're graduating."

"God, don't remind me."

"Ha, sorry. You're really having a crisis with this age thing, aren't you?"

"Well, technically, this is nearing my mid-life, so it's appropriate to have my mid-life crisis now."

"You're not going to buy a ferari, are you?"

"Maybe I'll one-up that and build my own motorcycle."

"Oi, don't get smart. Elvendork is a work of art."

"It's a death machine. That thing will cut your life short, for sure."

"I handle it beautifully, I assure you."

"Small assurance! You once broke your arm playing a non-contact sport."

"Why do you insist on bringing that up?"

"Because now that the event is over, it's a little funny."

"You're getting mean and grumpy in your old age."

"How dare you disrespect me, your elder. And sit up straight."

"How did you – oh."

"Did you actually sit up straight?"

"Well. Uh. You sounded authoritative!"

"You're like a trained dog. I love it."

"Please don't abuse this."

"I am definitely going to abuse this."

"And I am definitely hanging up."

"No, come on, I'm sorry. I won't abuse it."

"Better not."

"So where did you go today?"

"Not telling. It's a secret. And you know it."

"I don't like surprises."

"Too bad, old lady."

"When will I find out what it is then?"

"When I decide I want you to know."

"You're being purposefully evasive. What's going on?"

"You're awfully suspicious, aren't you? Getting paranoid-"

"Mention my 'old age' one more time, TT."

"Oo, getting testy too."

"I'm going to hang up."

"That's my line."

"I'm going to hang up right now."

"Alright, alright."

"...I am actually verging on falling asleep here. Sorry."

"That's ok. When one gets to be as old as you-"

[Call Disconnected]

(9:44) -Toni-  
Ass

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
Good night

(9:45) -Toni-  
Good night.

(9:45) -Toni-  
Happy Birthday.

*

Tuesday AM

(10:55) -Cheryl-  
You are a canker-blossom.

(10:56) -Toni-  
Moony, what the hell

(10:57) -Toni-  
What did I do?

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
Oh, nothing, sorry

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
Just testing out some new slang.

(10:59) -Toni-  
New? I had to google it. Apparently it's from the 1500s.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Apparently it's from /Shakespeare/ from the 1500s.

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
Don't be a bolting hutch of beastliness.

(11:03) -Toni-  
Are you channeling Shakespeare's spirit?

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
Would you rather I woo you?

(11:04) -Toni-  
Do you honestly have to ask.

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
My heart is ever at your service.

(11:06) -Toni-  
Aw Moony that's so sweet.

(11:08) -Cheryl-  
Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs

(11:09) -Toni-  
That's... sweet?

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
Love cometh like sunshine after rain.

(11:11) -Toni-  
Heh heh

(11:12) -Cheryl-  
You're laughing at 'cometh' aren't you.

(11:13) -Toni-  
Course not

(11:15) -Toni-  
But honestly, what's spiked the Shakespearean ode this time?

(11:16) -Cheryl-  
Mugs

(11:16) -Cheryl-  
One full of swears, which I've spared you mostly from.

(11:19) -Toni-  
Moony, you called me a slut.

(11:19) -Cheryl-  
Thank Betty.

(11:20) -Toni-  
I will. And the one full of lovey quotes, Betty too?

(11:21) -Cheryl-  
No, she made Archie give me that one.

(11:21)-Cheryl-  
*1 image attached*

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7lMqxuCIAA44Kx.jpg

(11:22)-Toni-  
Did he give you this mug and immediately say 'no homo'?

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
GOD TT

(11:24) -Cheryl-  
I choked on my spit

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Not that that's difficult for me to do in the first place but

(11:25) -Toni-  
I appreciate it nonetheless

(11:26) -Toni-  
Such charming gifts from your friends

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
Betty says she has another one for me but I don't get to see it until tonight.

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
I'm very concerned.

(11:28) -Toni-  
I'm sure it's a great gift!

(11:28) -Cheryl-  
That's false optimism.

(11:29) -Toni-  
Hey, just trying to make you feel better.

(11:30) -Cheryl-  
Thanks for the attempt, but where Alice is concerned, I'm always worried and cautious.

(11:31) -Toni-  
I'll keep that in mind.

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
Tea break is over. Back to working.

(11:36) -Toni-  
Ha, "working"

(11:37) -Cheryl-  
I do important work, thank you very much.

(11:37) -Toni-  
Liar.

(11:38) -Cheryl-  
Flap ear'd knave.

*

Tuesday PM

(2:45) -Betty-  
Wear something cute.

(2:47) -Cheryl-  
I always do.

(2:49) -Betty-  
Don't even pretend, Cheryl.

(2:50) -Cheryl-  
My mother is often telling me how smart I look.

(2:51) -Betty-  
I'm really worried about you.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Fine. Define 'cute'.

(2:53) -Betty-  
Literally anything that isn't that rabbit sweater your grandmother got you this morning.

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
You mean the one I'm wearing right now?

(2:55) -Betty-  
YES that one. Take it off. Now.

(2:56) -Cheryl-  
What do you have against my rabbit sweater?

(2:57) -Betty-  
It's a problem. A major problem.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
You have no right to criticise my furry little problem.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
Aren't rabbits cute?

(3:01) -Betty-  
Why are you so insufferable when it comes to clothes?

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
Because I get the feeling we're going somewhere fancy or... different tonight.

(3:02) -Cheryl-  
So I'm making this as painful for you as it is for me.

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
Through wardrobe malfunctions.

(3:04) -Betty-  
You're an asshole.

(3:04) -Betty-  
You know what, wear what you want.

(3:05) -Betty-  
Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(3:05) -Cheryl-  
...I'll wear something nice.

(3:06) -Betty-  
Good idea.

*

[Calling: Babyboi<33]

"Where did you go?"

"I had to take a break, Toni."

"I need you!"

"You don't! You've already met the girl twice!"

"It's not her I'm necessarily worried about this time!"

"Also, if I have to look at the back of your head one more time-"

"What if her friends don't like me?"

"Holy fuck, Toni. We're literally going with you."

"If I met me, I wouldn't like me."

"What? Don't lie."

"No, you're right. I'm too handsome to not like."

"You've already met Betty. She likes you!"

"It's her ex boyfriend I'm worried about."

"From what you've told me, he's piss scared of you. And of Betty."

"Small miracles."

"You'll be fine. Chill out, man."

"Fine, yeah, I'm chill. When did you change your contact name on my phone?"

"I've changed it a few times. Which one is it this time?"

"Dude, how often do you change it?"

"Whenever you leave your phone lying around."

"Oh my God, Drew."

"Relax, I don't go snooping through your super secret, ultra personal messages between you and a certain girl."

"Come back to the trailer."

"You're not going to model another outfit in front of me, are you?"

"No, I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

"...I'm gonna sneak into Kevin's house."

"Fogarty!"

"Have a fun night, Toni!"

[Call Disconnected]

*

The first thing Betty said to her when she stepped out of her front door was, "Those shoes, you think?"

Cheryl prayed the blush to subside, waving her foot in front of her as if seeing it for the first time. The shoes were too tight and made her look like an unproportioned animal with her skinny legs, but she could see the appeal and the power in wearing them. The thick black boots made her feel like she could stand on God herself and crush her teeth. 

"They were the first pair I could find," she lied.

Betty studied the rest of her outfit, a small smile playing on her lips and a look in her eyes that Cheryl really didn't like.

"What?" She grabbed the front of her black top anxiously, tugging at the fabric.

"Nothing," Betty replied, but her voice held a sweetness Cheryl was naturally suspicious of. "I like the contrast of the red coat and your air. Come on, Archie is meeting us there. Move it."

Walking in the boots was awkward, her heels dragging on the concrete behind them. A few times she nearly tripped, and from the corner of her eye she could see her cousin stifling a laugh, but she pretended not to notice.

"Wish we'd caught a bus," Betty complained after fifteen minutes of walking. "Or used your impala your parents got you." She rubbed at her knees with the palm of her hand, massaging the muscles through the fabric of her jeans.

"I'm not taking a gift from them like that. We're nearly there, right?" Cheryl glanced at her friend when she didn't immediately reply, finding her tapping away on her phone. "Are you messaging Archie?"

"Hm?" Betty glanced up distractedly. "Sure. We're nearly there."

She slipped her phone into her pocket, dragging Cheryl hurriedly out of the cobbled road of Thornhill and onto the dusty path thru a backroad, making a beeline for the diner.

*

Finding a parking spot in Pop's parking lot on a Tuesday evening shouldn't have been this hard, Toni thought, the stick of her lollipop clenched angrily between her teeth.   
The place sure looked deserted on the way there, there were hardly any people milling around the shops as most of them were closing up for the day, and yet there persisted the presence of a packed parking lot filled with various cars and bikes. Toni circled the block again, glad that she left early, and prayed to find a place for her beloved bike.

It wasn't like her bike was that big in the first place. people were just annoying, choosing to park their vintage cars in two parking spots to avoid a single tiny scratch.

As an old man in a beaten pick up truck cut her off, swearing profusely out the window at her for "getting in the goddamn way," Toni amended that people weren't just annoying, they were fucking annoying.

But at least now there was a spot free, and she was at her leisure to sweat out her nervousness in the company of strangers until Cheryl turned up.

She wasn't usually so bothered by other people. Talking to strangers was always an easy thing for her to do, considering she had to move in with a whole bunch as a child. But these were Cheryl's friends. Important people.

Jughead and Fangs pulled up beside her, tossing their helmets apart and bumping fists as they laughed about something Toni didn't care enough to listen to.

They reached the front of Pop's with ten minutes to spare, but couldn't find another person hanging around. She bit her lip, unzipping her jacket pocket to pull out her phone.

(6:51) -Toni-  
Were here.

(6:52) -Betty-  
How punctual.

Toni snorted.

(6:52) -Toni-  
Please, don't sound so surprised.

(6:53) -Betty-  
Sorry. See Pop's?

(6:54) -Betty-  
Go in there. Find the group that's got a girl with green hair. That's Lyon. We'll be there soon.

(6:55) -Toni-  
Ok. Should I hide under a table and shout SURPRISE when you guys come in?

(6:56) -Betty-  
If you want to.

(6:56) -Betty-  
But no one else will.

(6:56) -Toni-  
Right. See you soon then?

(6:56) -Betty-  
Yes now stop replying she's suspicious.

"You need to relax, dude," Jughead said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer into him. She was relishing in the heat the boy provides   
"How can I?"

Fangs flicked his gum into a bush, punching Jughead's free arm playfully "What about you dude? And that chick Betty." 

Jughead's cheeks flushed, and he said nothing, shoving the laughing boy to the ground. Toni smiles. It was almost enough to calm her nerves.

The diner was one of the few places still with its lights on. Toni couldn't see anyone inside as she approached the door, slightly startled by the bell that chimed as she entered. Not as startled as she was seeing familiar raven locks quickly scraping by. She edged around the corner, unsure, until she saw a bobbing head of lime green sitting with two boys.

"Ah," one of them said, "Are you Toni?"

Toni narrowed her eyes at the speaker, the boy with red, spirally hair, a smile stuck on his face as if it hurt him and a scar on the bridge of his nose.

Archie, Toni knew immediately, and forced a smile onto her own face.

"Yep." Her voiced was strained as she edged over to the booth and plopped next to the girl, offering Veronica a glare. "You're Lyon, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled, "I think you might have heard me on the phone."

Toni nodded, her words failing him as a silence fell over them. Veronica said nothing, fiddling with the drawstring of her pants instead. Archie looked just as uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and not quite meeting Toni's deadly glare.

"Oooookay," Fangs laughed nervously, shoving Jughead into one of the booths and squishing in on the other side next to Archie "I'm Fangs. That's Jughead."

Archie eyes the beanie-clad serpent suspiciously, as if he was sizing him up. Jughead just looked at him amused, shifting the bangs of his hair "See something you like, Northsider?"

Archie bit his tongue, and Fangs had a smug look on his face.  
Toni could be civil when Cheryl got there. For now, she'd have some fun.

Eventually, the redheaded boy cracked under Toni's gaze, stuttering out, "Uh, I'm Archie."

"I know."

Toni could see from the corner of her eye Lyon's head shifting between the two of them, watching intently at the tense conversation.

Toni wondered how long she'd have to stare at Archie before the guy started sweating.

"I, uh, understand that, um – maybe you're not, er, entirely, uh, shit –"

"Geez, Arch," the silent boy finally spoke, "Spit it out, dude."

It was probably wrong how much she was enjoying this, but watching Archie nervously twitch at Toni's presence alone made her very satisfied. Toni leaned back against her seat, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking an eyebrow at him as if to ask what? 

Fang's threw his arm around the back of the booth, moving in uncomfortably close to the ginger who kept routinely clearing his throat

"I know you don't like me," Archie blundered through, "And I guess I understand –"

"You guess?" Toni interjected coldly.

Archie huffed. "I'm sorry. It was a dick move."

Toni scoffed, but otherwise said nothing, letting the silence fall over them again. She wasn't about to tell Archie that it was ok, or even thank him for apologising, so she just let it hang in the air.

Now, she promised, she would be civil. She couldn't promise on behalf of the other two boys, though, as they continued eyeing the northsider.

*

When Cheryl realised where they were going, she finally said, "You're not going to force feed me three plates of pancakes again, are you?"

But Betty was hardly paying attention. "Maybe not three."

She kept walking forward, not glancing to see if Cheryl was following, striding into the ice cream parlour confidently. She held the door open for Cheryl, a satisfied smirk on her face

"What have you done?" She asked her, but she just laughed and continued to the back of the parlour.

The decor was set up to resemble a 50's American diner, plastic red stools against the bar and booths slotted against the walls. The sparkling floor tiles were nearly blinding under the fluorescent lights, the walls plastered with framed photos of Elvis and Frank Sinatra, and an old – but still functioning – juke box sitting beside the register.

Pop's had always been one of Cheryl's favourite places, one she hadn't gotten to visit in a while. from the mouth-watering smell of apples pie that always seemed to cling to the place, to the fact that the pancakes were free, but only because it was Pop Tate that owned the place, and Pop Tate was the kindest man Cheryl Blossom had ever met. Though, her favourite were the milkshakes.

Rounding the corner, Cheryl was met with a bombardment of glitter and streamers, a chorus of people shouting "Happy Birthday!"

Cheryl saw the group of people huddled in a booth as he waved the streamers from her vision, a small smile plastered on her face as she took in each of their faces.

Her smile widened when she caught Toni's eye, the other girl winking at her.

"Oh," said a quiet, yet confident, voice, "Is she here?"

Cheryl laughed as Archie's voice replied, "Yes, Veronica, she's here."

Cheryl spotted the tall cheerleader sitting between Archie and Lyon, her fingers tapping on the tabletop.

"Happy Birthday!" Veronica shouted, bouncing to her feet and basically sitting on Lyon's lap to crush Cheryl into a hug

"Woah, woah woah. You guys know Veronica?"

Archie, Betty, Cheryl and Veronica all shared a knowing and warm look, before bursting into laughter "Yeah, we've friends since we were all kids. Archie and Betty go to school with Veronica."

"I-but... what?" Toni was dumbfounded, her head snapping between each teen collectively, and offering her friends a pleading look who just shrugged just as confused as her "Look, Toni," Veronica sighed, leaning across the table to grab the brunette's hand. Okay that was definitely uncomfortable.

"I know you hate me and we've had our own millions of problems, but I love Cheryl. Shes like my sister. And if you care about her as much as I know you do..." She shot a knowing look at the redhead, who shrugged back sheepishly "Then you and me are good. Okay? Any friend of Cheryl's is a friend of mine."

"Why didn't you um.... tell me, when I was calling her a bitch? No offence." Veronica shrugged, leaning back and taking a sip of her water "None taken."

"Well, I don't really know. You were venting. I wasn't going to make it so talking to me felt hostile."

"So are we cool?" Veronica cut in, offering a hand to the serpent, who eyed it cautiously before slowly shaking the offered hand "Um, yeah. Okay."

"Thanks, guys," Cheryl replied as she slid into the booth next to Toni, who was, to Cheryl's relief, sitting next to Jughead and well away from Archie.

"Happy birthday, Cheryl." Jughead greeted with a half smile, Fangs jumping onto him and wrestling him for the last breadstick "Happy birthday, Bombshell!" Fangs said as he ripped a chunk of bread from his friend's hand, grinning triumphantly.

Betty waltzed over to Jughead, his eyes softening when they met her own blue pair. She bent down and gave him a soft kiss on the crown of his head, Toni beaming and ruining the moment with a shout of "Get a room!" To which everyone laughed at.

Betty took her seat next to Jughead, slinking her arm to hook around his, "Hey, Pop!" Sweetpea shouted, suddenly bursting thru the doors out of breath "Sorry...I'm...late..." he huffed, waving at the redheaded girl "Happy Birthday, Cheryl!"

"Oh, fuck, hi babe!" He grinned, nearly tripping over his feet as he bounded over to the table and engulfed the heiress in a hug "Hi love."

"So sweet," Cheryl said mildly. "So, Betty, how long have you known Lyon?"

"I don't know Lyon. Hi!" Betty said excitedly, leaning over the table to grab Lyon's hand, "I'm Betty!"

Lyon shook her hand enthusiastically, happily greeting her in return. Sweetpea pulled up a chair to the overpacked booth, waving down some menus 

Cheryl furrowed her brows, biting her lower lip in confusion when Toni said, "Ah, Betty kinda pulled a fast one on you."

"No kidding," Cheryl replied in slight disbelief, "I guess I shouldn't bother asking how you're here."

"It was all in the name of birthday celebration," Betty said hastily, "I don't make it a habit to go through your things."

"I hate to be that guy," Veronica cut in, "But do you think you could introduce me to the people I don't know here?"

"Archie!" Betty said angrily.

"What?"

"How long were you sitting here with the five of them? And you didn't introduce them to each other?"

Archie scratched his cheek, averting his gaze from Betty's annoyed face. "It didn't cross my mind."

Cheryl heard Toni scoff beside her, sending a kick to her shin to make her be quiet.

"I'm Jughead, that's Fangs," the boy offered instead of what Cheryl assumed would have been an insult aimed at the northsider 

"I'm Sweetpea!"

"Yeah I know that, doofus."

Davey frowned. "Where?"

"Uh..." Toni said dumbfounded, only now noticing the tiny Chinese boy slumped down in a chair

"Oh!" Davey smacked his hand to his forehead. "Sorry, dude. I can't see you. I'm blind."

Toni deflated in relief as Lyon perked up, grabbing Davey's hand and plopping it atop her green hair.

"I'm Lyon," she said, and then indicating for Toni to lean forward, she put Davey's hand on her head. "And this is Toni. Cheryl is beside her."

Davey smiled. "Wicked. Nice to meet you two. And all of you. Sorry, this 'not seeing' thing is still kinda new."

Archie rolled his eyes, clapping a hand on Davey's shoulder. "You don't have to keep apologising."

Davey shrugged self consciously, tapping his fingers on the table again before saying, "Yeah, yeah. Gotta apologise one last time, though. Cheryl, your card might suck a bit."

"You didn't have to get me anything," Cheryl said automatically as a bunch of feet all came kicking at her from under the table. "Ouch!"

"Well stop being an idiot," Lyon said cheerily, "And open this!"

She threw a package onto Cheryl's lap, wrapped haphazardly with a bow tied precariously around it. Cheryl untied the bow, peeling the sticky tape away carefully to preserve the paper, to reveal a collection of second-hand books. Sifting through the titles, Cheryl could distinguish a theme.

"Revealing the Alien," she read to the table, "The Truth About UFOs and Their Government Cover-up. E.T. meets Xenomorph."

Lyon laughed heartily."That last one is a fiction. Still think you might like it, though."

Toni plucked the book from her fingers, shuffling through the pages and pausing. "She couldn't believe her eyes," she read. "There he was, silhouetted in her doorway and leaning casually, like he didn't have a care in the universe. He crooked a finger at her seductively, beckoning her into his room. Xenomorph followed E.T. into the bedroom –"

"Alright!" Cheryl snatched the book and slammed it shut. "Lyon, what's with the alien books?"

"More importantly," Davey said between fits of laughter, "Where can I find alien porn in audiobook?"

Sweetpea grinned wickedly, taking the book from Cheryl. "I'll make one for you, Davey. Seems interesting."

Lyon looked over Toni's hunched figure to tell Cheryl, "I heard you got a telescope so I thought I'd start you early on the alien conspiracies. Make you a believer for when you see a UFO through your telescope."

When Cheryl's expression maintained incredulity, Lyon added, "Also, they're funny as hell to read."

"No kidding." Cheryl could see the glistening in Sweetpea'seyes as he cleared his throat. "'Oh my!' Xenomorph gasped. 'You're so big!'" Toni burst out laughing, his head colliding with the table so that he couldn't keep reading.

Cheryl took the book back from Sweetpea's slackened grip, scanning the page and muttering, "This is atrocious." She paused to cough into the crook of her arm and cleared her throat. "E.T. put a hand on her waist, his long fingers warm against her cold skin, sending a shudder up her knobbly spine. She wrapped her tail around his waist, snaking it over his torso until the tip could tickle under his chin. He kissed it – I'm going to stop, this is awful."

"This is a classic of our time," Fangs giggled.

"This is someone's published fanfiction," Jughead added, snapping a shot of the laughing group

"Kudos to them. It's a work of art."

Cheryl raised an eyebrow at Toni, relieved but suspicious as to why she was being so civil to Archie. Toni cocked her head in question under the burning gaze, but Cheryl shook her head, looking over Toni instead to say, "Hey Lyon, you didn't happen to write this yourself, did you?"

The table burst into laughter as Lyon spluttered for a response, Veronica and Toni in tandem with their jokes against the green haired girl. Cheryl watched fondly at her best friend and... whatever Toni was, she wasn't sure. She just knew that everything in that moment felt perfect.

Their laughter was interrupted by a sturdy dark man approaching their table, arms laden in plates of pancakes, waffles, and a dish of milkshakes. Sweetpea rose to help Pop Tate with distributing plates around the table, and walking back with him to get jam, cream, chocolate sauce, and bowls of vanilla ice cream.

Pop disappeared one last time, returning with a single ice cream cone in his hand with three scoops piled on top of each other, smiling benignly at the table. "And this one is for Lyon, who can't have dairy."

Lyon smiled brightly, reaching out for the cone and thanking Pop Tate profusely.

"No need to thank me," he said kindly, "Thank Jamie Oliver for his dairy-free recipes." He winked at the table, waving off their thanks and gratitude humbly before returning to the kitchen.

"Honestly," Jughead said with a mound of waffles already shoved into his mouth, "I could marry that man's waffles."

"Guess you'll just have to settle for someone who'll buy you them infinitely," Betty replied, plucking a strawberry from Jughead's plate.

Jughead smiled at her and pecked her cheek. "That's alright by me."

"Wow, you guys move faster then girls with UHauls." Fangs commenting, chucking a grape into the air and catching it with ease "Says you, talking about Kevin like he's the oneee," Fangs shoved his friend in the shoulder, 

Lyon cooed as Veronica made gagging noises. Cheryl sighed, "Don't be embarrassing."

The diner was nearly empty bar a mother and her child sitting near the door, eating ice cream from baby blue cups and not paying them one bit of attention.

"Like you can talk," Betty retorted, eyes shifting between Cheryl and Toni. Cheryl glared at her, or tried to, while Toni laughed, throwing her arm over the back of Cheryl's seat.

"We're not embarrassing, are we, honey bunch?" Toni joked.

Cheryl sighed again, but decided to play along. "Definitely not, sweetums."

The dinner – or brinner, as Archie insisted it be called, breakfast dinner – was broken up by small bouts of chatter, too caught up in the delicious food to carry serious conversation.

Cheryl felt comforted by the warm thigh pressed to hers, sometimes their elbows bumping into each other as they ate. A tapping on her foot indicated that Toni was kicking her legs, like a child on a swing. One particular swing collided with Cheryl's foot hard, Toni ducking her head to look under the table and apologise until her voice caught – "Hang on, are those my shoes?"

"Oh," Cheryl squeaked, a flush instantly spreading through her body and igniting her. She'd forgotten that she was wearing Toni's boots, and also looked down at her feet as if seeing the shoes for the first time.

Toni laughed, speaking quietly so only Cheryl could hear her, "You're a fucking dork."

"You should stop leaving your stuff at my place then," Cheryl said gruffly.

"Why on Earth would I do that?" She asked genuinely.

Cheryl considered it, and then shrugged. "Maybe you shouldn't, then."

Toni smirked, satisfied. "It's a barter system, though. Can't be all take."

"What would you like, then?" Cheryl backtracked, "Be tame."

Toni laughed, stuffing a piece of pancake in her mouth as she thought. She chewed slowly, hand stroking her chin in exaggerated thinking, and it took Cheryl scuffing her over the head to finally get a reply.

"I like your shirt," Toni said, "It's an interesting choice."

"That's what Betty said," Cheryl replied, eyebrows knit in confusion. She looked down at her figure, tracing the new jacket and top with her finger. "I don't get why you both think that."

"Moony," Toni said plainly.

Cheryl's fingers stilled, a disgruntled groan escaping her throat as she realised she was wearing bright red lipstick

"This wasn't a conscious decision," she promised. Toni nodded sympathetically.

"You look beautiful."

"I really don't."

"Yes you do,."

"Really –"

But she was cut off by an exclamation from Davey, waving one hand in the air as the other searched through his bag and pulled out an envelope. Cheryl's name was printed on the front with careful, albeit slightly wobbly letters.

"Your card, dude," Davey said off-handedly, but his legs were bouncing so hard that the whole booth was shaking.

Cheryl opened the envelope carefully, sliding the card out as another slip of paper fell onto her lap. She read the card first, Davey's precise scrawl clearly legible.

Happy Birthday, Cheryl.

Sorry I won't be able to see it.

Haha, disability jokes, up top dude.

Seriously, happy 18th. Have fun.

Davey Davidson.

Cheryl laughed abruptly, a small smile curving on Davey's face at the sound.

"Up top, Davey," Cheryl said. Davey turned his hand palm up on the table so Cheryl could lean over to high five it, both of them bursting into giggles.

"We're going to need an explanation," Betty said, taking the card and reading it herself.

"The first time Davey spoke to me, he could still see," Cheryl began the story.

"I'd seen Cheryl around the hospital, in like the canteen and stuff, and she was always hooked up to an oxygen tank, but we'd never spoken," Davey added.

"When we do finally run into each other it's when I've accidentally stumbled into the taxi bay, not really paying attention to where I was going. Davey was waiting for his parents to arrive when he turns to me and says –"

"'Hey, do you want a smoke?' I swear, if looks could kill, Cheryl would have had me murdered the first time we met for that comment alone."

"Ah," Cheryl said with understanding, "I guess that's why you were so surprised by my response."

Davey laughed. "Yeah, dude. I say, 'Hey, do you want a smoke?' And after the most terrifying silence of my life, this girl replies, 'I can't b-reathe you just said that to me.'"

Betty groaned and smacked her head onto the table, Jughead patting her back sympathetically, while the rest of the group roared with laughter.

"Davey looked stunned for a moment," Cheryl continued, "Until she just shouted at my face, 'Disability jokes! Up top, dude!'"

Davey was grinning broadly, not faltering when Lyon asked, "How did you become blind? If you don't mind me asking."

"Jerking off too much," Archie quickly cut over him, earning himself a careless slap from Davey.

"I have type 1 Neurofibromatosis, which caused glaucoma," Davey replied, "Damage to the optic nerve meant I lost my vision gradually."

"That's a mouthful," Veronica said idly, biting into her fry and Davey laughed in agreement.

Cheryl's laughter was caught in her throat, lodged behind a ball of phlegm. She tried to cough into her napkin discreetly, but the hacking reverberated around the now empty diner. She slid out from the seat.

"Sorry," she rasped, "Just give me a second."

She went outside, gasping in the fresh air in short bursts before coughing, as loud and as heavy as he needed to evict the thick feeling in her throat. She slid down the wall, inhaling deeply now that her body had allowed her to breathe.

"Are you ok?" The concerned voice filled the chill of the night air, drawing Cheryl's attention back to the present. She had zoned out, her tired body making his vision blurred and brain fuzzy. She looked up at Toni, illuminated by the diner sign, hovering nervously over her, hands running through her wavy hair.

"Yeah, fine," Cheryl managed. "Just needed some fresh air. Sorry for ditching you."

Toni shrugged, but her shoulders were tense. "That's okay. As you can see, I've followed you like a lost puppy."

"I told you, you were a puppy."

"Do, uh..." She bit her lip. "Do you need any help?"

Cheryl couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her throat. "No, TT. Relax. I'm just gonna sit out here for a bit."

"Ok. I'll sit with you."

Toni fell gracefully beside her, her legs kicking out in front of her, feet tapping against Cheryl's. Cheryl allowed herself a small smile, shuffling a little closer to the girl beside her so their shoulders touched.

"It's cold out here," Toni stated absently, stripping her jacket off and tucking it around Cheryl's shoulders. 

Silence fell over them as they gazed up at the night sky, but it wasn't uncomfortable. So many times Cheryl had worried that they would run out of things to say that she didn't consider how their silence could be just as rewarding.

When she felt Toni shuffling beside her, however, a thought struck her. A thought that already made her cheeks bleed crimson, and a wavering of conscience that made her hesitate.

Cheryl cleared her throat, croaking out "YY –" just as Toni had turned to say, "Cheryl –"

They both laughed, Toni dragging her hand over her face. "You go first," she said.

"No, I don't know if I want mine answered. You go first."

"Oh. Well, um. I just wanted to know..." Toni was now rubbing the back of her neck vigorously, so vigorously that Cheryl was worried she'd break skin. "Because we said when we'd meet we'd... uh, but, if you still don't that's ok too..."

"TT, get to the point."

Toni pouted. "You're not gentle."

"Get over it."

Cheryl could see the considerable effort it took Toni to turn to her, to look her in the eye. Cheryl felt pinned, unable to look away, and was suddenly very worried about what Toni was going to ask. She let out a shaky breath, just as Toni did the same.

"Moony, are you my girlfriend?"

The moonlight, ironically, was shining in the pinkette's eyes.  
The nervous edge to her voice made Cheryl smile. Never in a million years did Cheryl think she could make someone this nervous, could make someone actually have to ask her this question, and especially not someone like Toni Topaz, who exuded confidence and nonchalance that it made those around her feel stronger too.

Never in a million years, Cheryl thought, and yet he couldn't help but tease the girl. "Are you asking me if I am or if I will be?"

Toni huffed, a strand of hair falling over her face caught in the up-breeze. "Why are you being difficult?"

Cheryl shrugged, a smirk still playing on her lips. "Payback for something, probably."

"Ugh, fine, you're gonna make me say it."

Cheryl looked at her, amused, waiting for Toni to crack. She looked very put out, like Cheryl was making her confess some horrible secret, but the corner of her mouth twitched as she asked, "Cheryl, will you be my girlfriend?"

Cheryl leaned her elbow on her knee, her chin in the palm of her hand. She tapped a finger on her cheek, looking back up at the sky in faux contemplation. "I'll think about it."

The silence that fell made Cheryl look back quickly, watching Toni's face frown. Cheryl waved her hands hastily. "I'm kidding! Of course, Toni."

Toni let out a laugh. "That was an awful joke."

Cheryl tried hard not to laugh too, instead muttering out a sorry.

"Now you have to say it."

"What?" Cheryl furrowed her brows in genuine confusion.

"Say the word, Moony. You know what I'm talking about!"

Cheryl groaned. "You're horrible."

"Just do it." Toni's face was painted with amusement, enjoying watching Cheryl squirm uncomfortably as her face grew hot.

Not even the cool night air could fan off the rising heat in her cheeks as Cheryl took a sharp breath, "Yes, TT, I will be your... girlfriend."

Toni whooped - honest-to-God-whooped, Cheryl thought, horrified - causing the owls settled into the tree tops to take flight, their silhouettes flapping against the full moon hung in the sky like a stage prop. Cheryl buried her face in her hands, saving herself the embarrassment of Toni seeing her face as red hot as her hair, but Toni didn't seem bothered. She slung an arm around Cheryl's shoulders, pulling her in close and scratching her head softly. Cheryl wasn't entirely sure, but she could've sworn she heard the party inside chanting 'Choni'. Whatever that meant.

Toni didn't move her arm when Cheryl finally emerged from the sanctuary of her hands, instead stating, "I have another question."

Cheryl wanted to retreat back into her hands, instead choking out, "Oh, God – Ok."

Toni cleared her throat theatrically, straightening her back against the brick wall. "Will you go out on a date with me this Saturday?"

"Fangs won't have you running laps, you big bad football player?" Cheryl mused, poking the pinkette in the ribs

"We don't have a game this week. He's letting us off."

"Then I would love to go on a date with you to... Further solidify my position as your girlfriend. Do I get paid for it?"

Toni smirked impishly. "You can get paid in kisses."

"Oh. I was hoping hard cash."

"Well, sorry to disappoint," Toni scoffed.

"I guess it'll do just fine." Cheryl paused. "Can I exchange the kisses for a gift card?"

Toni groaned, dropping her head into her free hand. "Moony, I'm already regretting my decision."

Cheryl laughed, poking her in the side and singing it's too late until Toni started laughing too, their bodies shaking together in whispered giggles.

"So what was your question?" Toni asked once their laughter had subsided.

Cheryl desperately tried to feign ignorance. "My question?"

"You were gonna ask me something before I rudely interrupted with talk of girlfriends."

Cheryl shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"Moony." Toni's voice was exasperated, but she rolled her eyes playfully and shook Cheryl's figure gently.

"I just... No, it's a stupid question. Forget it." She coughed into the back of her hand, trying not to look Toni in the eye.

"Oh, come on."

"I wanted to know if.." She broke off into mumbles, holding her hand over her mouth.

Toni smirked. "I didn't quite catch that."

Cheryl groaned, dragging a hand over her face. She kept her hand covering her eyes, refusing to look at Toni, refusing to look at anything as she asked, "Was it... was it fireworks?"

In the darkness behind her eyelids, Cheryl heard a shy laugh, and an answer that set her heart racing.

"Cheryl, it was the whole fucking show."

Cheryl tried to contain the stupidly wide grin that was forming on her face, but against all protests it persisted, her cheeks hurting from the intensity of it. Toni laughed again, and Cheryl felt a a warm kiss press to her cheek

Cheryl finally removed her hands from her face, greeted with Toni's brilliant smile. Her whole face shone beautifully under the moonlight, a glow emitting from her very being, like something from a dream. This was definitely a dream, Cheryl thought as she reached out to touch her, gentle fingers stroking the side of her face and tracing her jaw. Toni ducked her head shyly, but then leaned forward to capture their lips together, warm despite the coolness of the night.

If Cheryl were being honest, she'd admit that she'd been warm for a while now.

She could feel Toni's shaky exhales against her cheek, could feel Toni's nose bumping into hers, could feel ToniMs hand cradle her face so gently as she slowly kissed her. She was suddenly so aware of every inch of Toni, the brush of her hair against Cheryl's neck, her knee pressed against Cheryl's thigh, but especially her lips.

Cheryl was especially aware when those lips drew back and pecked lightly on the tip of her nose, the cold air rushing in where Toni's face used to be.

"I forgot, I have something for you," Toni murmured. "Well, two things. Since we're doing the all the embarrassing stuff in one go, it seems."

Cheryl hummed in agreement, processing Toni's words too late. "Wait, something for me –"

Toni sighed in exaggeration. "Yes, Moony, considering this is your birthday get together and all. Here."

Toni held out a small box, a single white bow stuck onto the lid. She snatched her hands away as soon as Cheryl grabbed it, slotting it between her thighs and jiggling her legs nervously.

Cheryl opened the lid, peering in to see a pair of dog tags resting against a plush cushion, one of them turned up to read 'Bombshell'.

Carefully, Cheryl lifted the chain from the box, the tags clinking together and flashing shiny silver in the night light. She pinched the second tag between her fingers and read 'TT'.

"It's kinda..." Toni trailed off, coughing nervously. "Uh, sappy."

"Yeah," Cheryl agreed, "But I love it." She slipped the chain over her head, the tags resting comfortably on her chest 

"Oh," Toni said, "Good. Great."

"Um... okay hold up, I have to grab another thing I'll be right back. Don't move!" The pinkette presses a kiss to the pale girl's forehead before racing off down the street

"Toni?!"  
Cheryl coughed thickly into her hand, making her realize just how cold it was out there. They should head back inside into the warmth, she thought, if she didn't want to catch a cold – or worse. She bounced her knee anxiously, starting to think the worst just before Toni came running back into view, chucking the gift into her girlfriends lap and collapsing to the floor in fits of coughs, motioning with her hand for the other girl to open it while she caught her breath. 

"Jesus, TT. You had me scared for a second." The redhead smiled shyly, pressing a kiss to Toni'S flushed cheek before turning her attention to the crumpled red paper in her lap. 

"Open it before I die, over here," Toni huffed. Cheryl snorted out a laugh, slowly unwrapping the present. Her eyes widened, quickly ripping the paper and pulling out a brandished brown bow with the name DEADEYE embraizened. 

"Um, yeah," Toni took a deep breath, leaning her head against the cold wall "Sweets and the boys pitched in to get it and they all also went in on some red arrow and-"

Toni's rambling was interrupted when two matte red lips captured hers; hungry and needy, Cheryl's hands cupping her girlfriend's cheeks to pull her closer in.  
Toni wrapped her hands around the redhead's waist, clutching the fabric of her jacket. 

Feeling breathless, from the coughing fit from earlier and the light-headedness that was Toni Topaz, Cheryl pulled away, "I love it." She murmured, stroking her thumb against Toni's cheek.

"Now come on,"   
She stood, holding a hand out to help Toni up. She took it, dusting the dirt of her pants, stuffing her hands into her pockets 

"Thank you, TT," Cheryl said, absentmindedly playing with the dog tags around her neck "No ones ever... just, thank you."

Toni tried to shrug casually. "No problem. Happy Birthday."

Cheryl smiled bashfully, tugging at the front of Toni's shirt to follow her back inside.

"Wait," Toni stopped. She dug into her jeans pocket, pulling out her phone and flashing Cheryl a grin. "Take a picture with me, Birthday Girl."

"Oh, no," Cheryl groaned, but she didn't protest as Toni pulled her to her side.

"Say cheese!"

The flash in Cheryl's eyes hurt, blinking out star lights and rubbing her eyes furiously. She could hardly see the picture when Toni showed her, but told her to send it to her anyway.

"Already done," Toni told her as they walked back into the parlour.

Cheryl hastily tucked the dog tags into the inside of her shirt as Betty exclaimed at their approach, starting up a jagged chorus of Happy Birthday and moving aside to reveal a chocolate cake lit up with eighteen candles.

Cheryl groaned, hiding her face in her hands as her friends continued singing, Toni singing loudest of them all and right in Cheryl's ear.

She was glad when it was over, praying that she had enough breath to blow out the candles in one go, her fears voiced by Davey with a smirk, "Need a hand, buddy?"

"Fuck you," Cheryl replied gently, taking as deep a breath as she could and blowing out the candles.

"Oh, no!" Archie exclaimed, and urged on by Davey added, "She missed one."

Cheryl gave a final huff to blow out the persistent remaining candle, mumbling how candles for her was, "like going bowling."

"Gotta cut the cake now," Lyon said, handing her a large carving knife. Cheryl took it from her gingerly, wondering who on Earth gave Lyon the knife to hold.

Cheryl was cutting into the first layer as Betty said, "If you hit the bottom, you have to kiss the closest girl."

"What?" Cheryl asked distractedly, feeling the tip of the blade hit the plate beneath the cake. "Ah."

"You hit the bottom, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

Betty smirked. "Pucker up, Lover Girl."

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh," Toni said surprised, "That's me. Right."

"Right," Betty mimicked, a Cheshire grin spread on her face.

Cheryl raised the newly gifted bow and pointed it at Betty. "Don't make me use this," 

A chorus of "holy shit's" flooded the room as they excitedly took in the present, Sweetpea grabbing for it immediately 

Betty stuck her tongue out at her as Veronica spoke up from where she was now sitting between Sweetpea's legs, who sat on the head of the booth, "Rules are rules!"   
Betty gently took the knife from her hand, placing it on the table and shoving her into Toni's arms

Cheryl faced her, about to grumble a quick apology when her face was roughly pulled into a kiss, making a surprised hmph! against Toni's mouth.

Cheryl could vaguely hear hollering from her friends, the blood rushing in her ears overpowering their calls and all too soon Toni's lips were gone from hers again.

"Well damn, if Toni gave you the bow I guess we better get you set up for target practice, dead eye. Get you started up as our first bow-bearing badass in the Serpents," Jughead laughed, smacking Fang's chest excitedly 

Cheryl nearly refused a slice of the chocolate cake, if it meant keeping the tingling feeling of Toni's lips on hers.

*

Betty had been the one who suggested it and Toni nearly smacked herself for not thinking of it first. Of course, it would be a great idea. Whether Cheryl saw it that way or not was another thing.

Toni immediately knew that Cheryl indeed did not think it was a great idea.

"Definitely not," she squeaked, edging away from her nervously.

There was only the glow of the streetlights to illuminate them, the night practically dead from inactivity. Toni couldn't see or hear anyone else in the street, and her bike was resting lonely, only Pop's old hatchback for company.

"It'll be fine," Toni drawled, "Do you trust me?"

"With my life?" Cheryl looked skeptical. "Not as much as you think."

Toni frowned. "You're thinking of the broken arm again, aren't you?"

Cheryl nodded emphatically, twisting her hands together nervously. Betty and Jughead watched them from the sidewalk, her tittering under her breath.

"Well, I've got no room in the car for you," she told her."It's either that or you can walk home."

"This was a trap!" Cheryl's voice raised several octaves, her face scandalized as both Toni and Betty just calmly nodded.

"Here."

Toni handed a helmet to Cheryl, only slightly nervous as Cheryl turned it over in her hands, a small look of bewilderment stuck on her face.

The helmet was painted grey, a wash of tones blending together to make it look dirty, bumpy, black spots painted as craters. It was a full moon, much like the one slipping behind clouds in the sky, with the word 'MOONY' printed in block letters at the nape.

"So you can be assured," Toni said, "That in the event that I do crash, your precious lil redhead will be protected."

Cheryl rolled her eyes, but slipped the motorcycle helmet over her head, her face disappearing behind the black visor.

"Great," came her muffled voice, "Now I'm from Daft Punk."

"Are you up all night to get lucky?" Toni asked, only laughing when Cheryl punched her weakly in the arm.

"We're going now!" Betty called. "See ya!"

Toni and Cheryl waved them off as they climbed into the car, Lyon, Davey and Archie squished in the back while the serpent boy's revved their engines, following behind the car

When the headlights turned the corner and disappeared, Toni turned to Cheryl, a determined grin on her face. "Ready to go?"

Cheryl lifted the visor, peering at Toni in the darkness. She looked worried, Toni noted, chewing on her bottom lip, but also resolved, glaring at the motorbike as if she could beat it in a fight.

"Fine," she sighed. "Let's get this over with."

Toni clapped Cheryl's visor back down. "I'm going to need a better attitude than that."

"I'll have a better attitude when I'm sure you won't kill me."

Toni looked thoughtful. "That's fair enough," she allowed, and pulled on her own helmet, hoisting a leg over the bike. She flicked the kill switch on, turning the key in the ignition and watching the warning lights flash on and off again, everything as it should be.

She was about to push the start button when she realised that Cheryl hadn't followed her on yet. Lifting her visor, she looked over her shoulder to see Cheryl still standing anxiously by the bike.

"Ok," Cheryl said after a deep breath, "Don't laugh, but how the fuck do I get on that thing?"

Toni can't help the laugh that escaped her throat and she could practically feel Cheryl's unimpressed expression under the helmet.

"It's gonna be a bit awkward getting on," Toni said and Cheryl huffed. "You have to lift a leg over, as if you were getting on a horse."

"Christ."

"Come on, I'll give you hand."

Toni flexed her hand at Cheryl, who took it delicately in one hand, her other hand resting on Toni's shoulder and using it to lift her weight over the bike. She landed ungracefully behind Toni, her hands instantly clutching Toni's shoulders to steady herself. When Cheryl was sturdy, she lifted her hands, hovering them nervously in the air, unsure where to grab her girlfriend.

Toni didn't think laughing would earn him any points, so instead reached behind her to grab Cheryl's arms, wrapping them around her waist and feeling her heart catch in her throat at the contact. She could feel Cheryl's chest pressed against her back, could feel her heart beating frantically behind the thick layer of Toni's jacket.

"It'll be ok," Toni told her, trying to disguise the shaking in her hands. "I'll go slow."

Cheryl nodded, the chin of her helmet resting on Toni's shoulder as she peered over.

Toni pressed the start button, the engine igniting instantly much to her relief. She didn't think a stalling engine would instill confidence in her ability to drive Cheryl home safely.

She kicked the flip stand up, twisting her wrist down and accelerating slowly, Elvendork's loud churning spilling into the otherwise silent night. Cheryl's hold on Toni tightened as they took off, knees pressed solidly into her thighs and her helmet clacking against Toni's 

"You alright?" Toni had to shout, competing with the engine and the layer of helmet clamped over Cheryl's ears.

"Getting there," Cheryl shouted back. Toni could feel her body start to relax against her own, her hands no longer in a death grip on her waist.

The motorcycle was practically crawling at an impossibly low speed for Toni's liking. The trip between Pop's and Cheryl's house was only a ten minute drive, but at the pace they were going it would take them nearly double that time.

When Toni realised this meant that she would have Cheryl pressed against her for a longer duration, she decided that the slow pace wasn't all that bad.

They were a few houses down from Cheryl's when Toni felt a tapping on her shoulder, glancing to see Cheryl indicating for her to pull over. She did, this time without ruining anyone's lawns, and flicked the ignition off so Cheryl could clamber off.

Her hair was matted to her head when she took the helmet off. Toni reached out to run a hand through it before ehe could stop herself, surprising them both as she ruffled Cheryl's hair back into place.

Cheryl held the helmet out awkwardly, intending for Toni to take it back. Toni waved her off, flipping the visor so she could speak.

"That one's yours, now," she said breezily.

"Oh." Cheryl added as an afterthought, "You should take these back, though."

She sat on the pavement and tugged off the large boots, slipping them off her feet easily, and shrugging the leather jacket off her shoulders

"Don't wanna keep them as a souvenir?"

"They don't fit." She tied the boots together by the laces, swinging them over the handle bar on Elvendork.

"You know, I like my jacket on you. Maybe even better with nothing else on," Toni said, flashing a grin. Cheryl rolled her eyes pointedly 

"Thank you for the ride home. Also the helmet. Also the dog tags. Also the bow and arrow. Also for coming tonight." Cheryl paused, shifting her weight onto either foot and worrying at her lower lip.

"What is it?"

"I can't reach your lips with the helmet on so I'm just going to do this," and she pecked the tip of Toni's nose before turning down the street and walking home in her argyle socks.

"Good night," Toni shouted to her retreating back, "Happy Birthday!"

Cheryl span around, and she could hear Cheryl's breathy laugh like a chime in the wind, and watched her walk backwards until she turned onto her driveway, disappearing from Toni's line of sight.

Toni idled on the road for a few more minutes, a harmonious laugh replaying over in her ears and a grin splitting her face.

*

(11:39) -Toni-  
So I had an amazing night.

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
Me too. Sometimes Betty does good things.

(11:40) -Toni-  
Except Archie.

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
TT!

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
You said he wasn't that bad.

(11:43) -Toni-  
Yeah but. Still a douche.

(11:46) -Cheryl-  
He thinks you're cool. Albeit, not as excited as he was when I first mentioned you.

(11:46) -Toni-  
He has to or else I'll beat him to a pulp.

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
Why is it that you threatening my friends isn't off putting?

(11:50) -Toni-  
Bc you know deep down he deserves it?

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
I don't think so.

(11:52) -Toni-  
Not even a slap? I could have slapped him you know.

(11:52) -Cheryl-  
Thank you for not punching him. Or slapping him.

(11:52) -Cheryl-  
The fact I have to thank you for that...

(11:55) -Toni-  
I was close. But I guess you're welcome.

(11:55) -Cheryl-  
I think Betty appreciated it too, deep down.

(11:56) -Toni-  
You're lucky I at least like Betty. She seems to really like Jughead, which is awesome. I like your other friends, too.

(11:58) -Cheryl-  
And not me?

(11:58) -Toni-  
I'm undecided. You're ok sometimes I guess.

(11:59) -Cheryl-  
Sometimes. I'll take that.

(11:59) -Toni-  
You're too easily pleased.

(12:01) -Cheryl-  
Sorry I mean shower me in romance.

(12:04) -Toni-  
Moony, you are the light of my life and without you I would be drowning in darkness.

(12:05) -Cheryl-  
I said romantic not poetic.

(12:05) -Toni-  
Is that not the same thing, my love?

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
Needs more flowers.

(12:09) -Toni-  
I'll keep that in mind.

(12:10) -Cheryl-  
Good night, dearest.

(12:11) -Toni-  
Good night, darling. Happy Birthday.

*

Wednesday AM

(8:12) -Betty-  
So, how was the ride, motor girl?

(8:16) -Cheryl-  
Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

(8:17) -Betty-  
I'm sure it must have been difficult, clinging to her and everything during that scary time.

(8:18) -Cheryl-  
You could say it was a lot of friction

(8:19) -Betty-  
CHERYL

(8:19) -Cheryl-  
I'm kidding I'm kidding

(8:21) -Betty-  
So did she walk you up to your front door saying, "Gawsh, I had a real great time tonight," and then kiss you?

(8:25) -Cheryl-  
Betty, we need to stop watching romantic comedies.

(8:26) -Betty-  
But they're so good. Tell me that didn't happen.

(8:28) -Cheryl-  
It didn't happen. Mummy and Daddy nightmare were home.

(8:28) -Betty-  
Kill joy.

(8:29) -Cheryl-  
I don't want to BE killed

(8:29) -Betty-  
Well, yeah. 

(8:30) -Betty-  
I know. No point telling you it might be better than you expect when they find out?

(8:32) -Cheryl-  
Probably not.

(8:32) -Betty-  
Ok. Still worth it though?

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, very worth it. Thanks for the party, Betts.

(8:37) -Betty-  
No problem. Anything for my big cousin :)

*

(9:17) -Toni-  
CHERYL

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
Toni

(9:18) -Toni-  
Why are you so calm!!

(9:19) -Cheryl-  
Why aren't you??

(9:20) -Toni-  
The counter pranksters have struck again, Moony. I'm honestly so annoyed.

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
What have they done now.

(9:22) -Toni-  
They somehow managed to fill the entire chemistry lab with ping pong balls.

(9:23) -Toni-  
They all came crashing out when Philly opened the door. All down the hallway.

(9:25) -Cheryl-  
I think it's time, TT.

(9:26) -Toni-  
Time for what?

(9:27) -Cheryl-  
Admitting defeat.

(9:28) -Toni-  
Bombshell! How could you!

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
Well, what have you done recently?

(9:29) -Toni-  
I've been busy. Which is your fault.

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
Uh huh.

(9:31) -Toni-  
😐

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
What's that.

(9:33) -Toni-  
A face. Me giving you the stink eye.

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
Since when did you use emojis? Aside from my original nickname

(9:35) -Toni-  
I'm trying it out 😉

(9:37) -Cheryl-  
I don't like it.

(9:39) -Toni-  
😔

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
Stop

(9:41) -Toni-  
🙂🙂🙂🙂 No, not until you take it back

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
TT

(9:42) -Toni-  
😟

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
🙄

(9:45) -Toni-  
😁So nice of you to join me

(9:46) -Cheryl-  
🏃♀️ I'm leaving

(9:47) -Toni-  
Wait!

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
What?

(9:47) -Toni-  
Take this rose

(9:48) -Toni-  
🌹

(9:48) -Toni-  
You said my romance needed more flowers

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
I don't know why I expected anything else.

(9:50) -Toni-  
☺️

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
Good bye, TT!!

*

Wednesday PM

(12:12) -Toni-  
Remember shitty lasagna?

(12:13) -Cheryl-  
Ah, the good old days.

(12:13) -Toni-  
It has made a comeback in the caf today

(12:15) -Cheryl-  
Back with a vengeance?

(12:16) -Toni-  
Well, it hasn't poisoned anyone yet.

(12:17) -Toni-  
But we're holding our breaths.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
I hope it spares you.

(12:19) -Toni-  
Aw Moony, I never knew you cared.

(12:21) -Cheryl-  
I don't know if I've been written into the will yet. Have to make sure before you croak.

(12:24) -Toni-  
So... caring...

(12:25) -Cheryl-  
I'll miss you, also.

(12:26) -Toni-  
I'm overwhelmed with love.

(12:27) -Cheryl-  
I'll even bring flowers to your funeral.

(12:30) -Toni-  
That's all I could ask for.

(12:31) -Cheryl-  
Teacher is in a bad mood today, I should go.

(12:31) -Toni-  
🥰😛bye Bombshell!

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
Good God

*

(3:03) -Juggy-  
I'm going to say it before Toni does but

(3:03) -Juggy-  
What are we gonna do?

(3:05) -Sweets-  
I'm glad to see you're back on board, bud.

(3:05) -Fangs-  
Oh come on, guys.

(3:06) -Toni-  
Drew. Fangs. Drew, dude.

(3:06) -Toni-  
I'm bored.

(3:09) -Sweets-  
Yes!

(3:10) -Fangs-  
I don't know...

(3:11) -Sweets-  
If I have to spend another Friday night studying...

(3:11) -Fangs-  
To be honest Pea, you do benefit from the extra studying.

(3:12) -Sweets-  
There's a line, though! It's been crossed!

(3:12) -Juggy-  
Please, release us from our prison.

(3:13) -Toni-  
Come on, Drew. F r e e U s.

(3:14) -Fangs-  
You three can do what you like, but consider me out.

(3:15) -Juggy-  
Fogarty!

(3:16) -Sweets-  
Man, you used to be cool.

(3:16) -Fangs-  
I'm still cool!

(3:17) -Toni-  
Nah, they're right. You're washed up.

(3:17) -Juggy-  
A nobody.

(3:18) -Sweets-  
A... Goody two shoes.

(3:18) -Fangs-  
You take that back. All of you.

(3:19) -Juggy-  
Or what? You'll slap me with your glasses cleaner?

(3:20) -Sweets-  
* cough * nerd * cough *

(3:21) -Fangs-  
I'm sick of you guys.

(3:22) -Toni-  
Have some fun, Drew. You're all about school and football and Kevin. What happened to the drinking benders and riding around town lookin' for crime and adventure!

(3:23) -Fangs-  
Fine. We'll skip studying this week.

(3:24) -Sweets-  
Atta boy!

(3:25) -Fangs-  
If we fail finals, though...

(3:25) -Juggy-  
Then we'll blame Keller for skewing the bell curve

(3:26) -Fangs-  
No pranks, though. Just us guys.

(3:27) -Sweets-  
Fiiiiiiine.

(3:28) -Juggy-  
Yeah, I guess that's cool.

(3:29) -Fangs-  
Toni...

(3:30) -Toni-  
Can we strip Pea and throw him into the lake?

(3:30) -Fangs  
Yeah, okay, that works.

(3:30) -Sweets-  
Hang on!

(3:31) -Juggy-  
Sweet. Looking forward to it.

*

Wednesday MIDNIGHT

(11:52) -Toni-  
Update: Fangs still refuses to help me de-mask the counter pranksters

(11:53) -Toni-  
I think he knows something.

(11:55) -Cheryl-  
TT its midnight

(11:56) -Toni-  
Sorry, love. Here.

(11:57) -Toni-  
😘🌙🌌

(11:59) -Cheryl-  
im sick of you.

*

Thursday AM

(7:39) -Toni-  
So I need you to ask him what he knows.

(7:40) -Cheryl-  
"Good morning Cheryl," why, yes, good morning Toni!!

(7:40) -Toni-  
Yeah hi

(7:41) -Toni-  
But really, you have to message him.

(7:43) -Cheryl-  
Are you really continuing a conversation from last night like no time has passed?

(7:44) -Toni-  
I'm trying to.

(7:46) -Cheryl-  
And what would I say? Hey Fangs, do you happen to know anything about the counter pranksters that you're not telling your best friend but will tell me instead?

(7:47) -Toni-  
You and Sweetpea are both so ingenious

(7:47) -Toni-  
OBVIOUSLY you'd be subtler than that.

(7:48) -Cheryl-  
"So, Padfoot's going nuts about this counter prankster stuff it's so annoying lol"

(7:49) -Toni-  
When have I ever said lol

(7:50) -Cheryl-  
Don't make me 😐 again

(7:50) -Toni-  
Just

(7:50) -Toni-  
Whatever you would say to complain about me.

(7:52) -Cheryl-  
??

(7:52) -Cheryl-  
That's not something I do?

(7:53) -Toni-  
Cheryl, now is not the time to be sweet.

(7:53) -Cheryl-  
You have a mission here.

(7:56) -Cheryl-  
"Toni is a dick but hey what's new."

(7:57) -Toni-  
I guess that's better.

(7:57) -Toni-  
So you'll do it?

(7:59) -Cheryl-  
Uh

(7:59) -Cheryl-  
God

(7:59) -Cheryl-  
Yeah fine, I'll have a try.

(8:01) -Toni-  
GOOD MOONY

(8:02) -Toni-  
You're the best girlfriend

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Oh, God

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, I'd better be after this.

(8:05) -Toni-  
You're hiding your face, aren't you?

(8:06) -Cheryl-  
Stop

(8:06) -Toni-  
GIRLFRIEND GIRLFRIEND

(8:07) -Cheryl-  
STOOOOOP

(8:08) -Toni-  
Haha, aw, Moony. You're the cutest.

(8:10) -Cheryl-  
I have work to do now.

(8:11) -Toni-  
Bye, girlfriend.

(8:11) -Cheryl-  
😐

*

(8:15) -Betty-  
*1 image attached*

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/47/54/ed/4754eddd1678a682eaa125c7d0cbc7fa.jpg

(8:15) -Betty-  
What did you say?

(8:16) -Toni-  
OH MY GOD

(8:16) -Toni-  
Betty, you're my favourite

(8:17) -Toni-  
I think it would be better if you forced her to tell you.

(8:18) -Betty-  
I'm trying but it's not working

(8:19) -Betty-  
I told her thatjhsjdfh

(8:19) -Betty-  
SHE SNATCHED M

(8:20) -Betty-  
toNi dONT

(8:20) -Betty-  
that was cheryl shes threatening me with a butter knife

(8:21) -Betty-  
I hate you both –c

(8:22) -Toni-  
My lips are sealed, Bombshell.

(8:22)   
For now.

*

Thursday PM

(1:45) -Cheryl-  
Please tell me it's not just me.

(1:46) -Fangs-  
What?

(1:46) -Cheryl-  
Tell me she's annoying you about these counter pranksters too.

(1:49) -Fangs-  
If she's not talking about you then she's talking about how her honour has been shamed by the CP

(1:50) -Fangs-  
Which is what she's actually calling them btw

(1:50) -Fangs-  
"the CP"

(1:52) -Cheryl-  
How do we make it end?

(1:53) -Fangs-  
Unless she has the brains to figure out who they are

(1:53) -Fangs-  
We can't.

(1:55) -Cheryl-  
Why can't you humour her

(1:56) -Cheryl-  
Throw her a bone.

(1:57) -Fangs-  
Was that a dog pun?

(1:57) -Fangs-  
Look I'd like to help her but

(1:58) -Fangs-  
I just don't care. It's stupid.

(1:59) -Cheryl-  
Do you care for your sanity? For mine?

(1:59) -Cheryl-  
Or alternatively hers.

(2:01) -Fangs-  
Ugh

(2:01) -Fangs-  
I'll see what I can do.

(2:04) -Cheryl-  
Thank you, Fangs.

(2:05) -Fangs-  
I'm not confident in that they'll change their minds.

(2:05) -Cheryl-  
What?

(2:06) -Fangs-  
Toni I mean

(2:06) -Fangs-  
I'm not sure she'll change her mind about finding them.

(2:07) -Cheryl-  
We have to try.

(2:08) -Cheryl-  
Good luck.

(2:09) -Fangs-  
Thanks.

*

(2:15) -Cheryl-  
*1 screenshot attached*

(2:16) -Toni-  
They?

(2:16) -Toni-  
He's not talking about me...?

(2:17) -Cheryl-  
I didn't think so either.

(2:17) -Toni-  
You've done good, Bombshell.

(2:19) -Cheryl-  
Can I retire, now?

(2:22) -Toni-  
What, you don't like working in espionage?

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
Too much stress.

(2:26) -Toni-  
Oh, come on. You'd make a good spy.

(2:28) -Cheryl-  
Oh, really.

(2:30) -Toni-  
Very unassuming. People trust you bc you're so cute.

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
You, on the other hand, stand out way too much.

(2:31) -Toni-  
What do you mean by that!

(2:33) -Cheryl-  
Your chaos and flair, for one.

(2:34) -Toni-  
And also my natural charisma and charm?

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
...Yeah, a little.

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
You kind of attract attention.

(2:36) -Toni-  
Is this you telling me I'm pretty.

(2:37) -Cheryl-  
I don't think I need to.

(2:38) -Toni-  
No, but I wanna see if you can do it.

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god

(2:38) -Cheryl-  
You're very pretty, Toni.

(2:40) -Toni-  
Thanks babe

(2:41) -Toni-  
We may be the spies, Bombshell, but Fangs is the traitor.

(2:42) -Toni-  
Which is surprising.

(2:42) -Toni-  
Out of all of us I figured it'd be Sweetpea. He's easily manipulated

(2:43) -Cheryl-  
You have such faith in your friends.

(2:44) -Toni-  
Time for the mass interrogation is approaching. No one is safe 

(2:45) -Cheryl-  
Go easy on the thumb screws.

(2:46) -Toni-  
I'll be good cop, Sweetpea bad cop. Jughead private investor

*

(3:22) -Fangs-  
Are you and Cheryl ok?

(3:23) -Toni-  
Ah? Yeah? What, why do you ask?

(3:23) -Fangs-  
Just wanna know. Ya know, that, idk, you guys are still talking like you used to.

(3:30) -Toni-  
Yeah, dude

(3:30) -Toni-  
We're just like always. Two peas on the other side of the tracks in a pod

(3:32) -Fangs-  
So, she's like, engaging you in conversation and stuff?

(3:33) -Toni-  
Yeah, Drew

(3:34) -Toni-  
Why?

(3:35) -Toni-  
Why are you asking?

(3:35) -Fangs-  
No reason, Toni. Just checking in.

(3:36) -Toni-  
Well, thanks... If we did need marriage counselling we'd come to you, okay

(3:36) -Fangs-  
Ha, sounds good Toni.

*

(3:40) -Toni-  
What exactly did you say to Drew about me?

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Gosh, nothing bad.

(3:41) -Toni-  
No, I didn't think you would but just

(3:41) -Toni-  
HE ASKED ME IF WE WERE OK?

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
I didn't think I said anything that bad!!

(3:42) -Cheryl-  
Hang on let me show you

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
*1 screenshot attached*

(3:47) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(3:47) -Toni-  
That boy

(3:39) -Cheryl-  
What? Please tell me I haven't said something bad

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry

(3:41) -Toni-  
No no you dork, you're good.

(3:41) -Toni-  
Just haha

(3:41) -Toni-  
I once freaked out to him, worried that you'd think I was annoying.

(3:45) -Cheryl-  
Oh

(3:46) -Toni-  
And apparently he remembered that.

(3:47) -Toni-  
Drew is a real bro

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
Drew is scarily perceptive?

(3:48) -Toni-  
Drew is getting cookies.

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
You just can't tell him why?

(3:50) -Toni-  
No, he can't know that I know.

(3:52) -Cheryl-  
When's the interrogation?

(3:54) -Toni-  
We'll ambush him tonight when everyone's asleep and take his keys so he can't escape.

(3:54) -Cheryl-  
Good plan, you psychopath

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
TT?

(3:56) -Toni-  
Mm?

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
You're definitely not annoying.

(3:37) -Toni-  
Thanks Bombshell..

*

[Calling: Cheryl]

"Mmmblerg?"

"That wasn't comprehensible."

"Nfurk."

"Did you just call me a jerk?"

"No. What? Fuck. Please tell me you're dying or something."

"Uh, not quite."

"I was having the nicest dream..."

"Oh, really? Was I in it?"

"No, you weren't, which was why I was really enjoying it."

"You wound me. We finished interrogating Famgs."

"Uh huh. Get anything decent out of him?"

"Says he won't tell us because Pea doesnt know to keep his mouth shut."

"Ah, well. What a shame."

"You're trying to get me to hang up, aren't you?"

"It was a really good dream."

"Ok, fine. I'll tell you about it in the morning."

"So glad you finally got the hint."

"Good night."

"Night."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Friday AM

(9:43) -Toni-  
Sweets was super offended, of course.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
What? Offended by what?

(9:45) -Toni-  
Of being called a blabbermouth.

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
When was he called a blabbermouth?

(9:48) -Toni-  
Last night! Well, that he couldnt keep his mouth shut but same difference 

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
No need to yell.

(9:50) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(9:51) -Toni-  
You don't remember our conversation last night, do you?

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
?

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
I have no texts from you.

(9:53) -Toni-  
No Moony, omg

(9:53) -Toni-  
I called you at like midnight.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Shit. I definitely don't remember that.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
You kept going on about this great dream you were having.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
No... I can't remember that either...

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Oh God, do I talk in my sleep?

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
If I do, that's a new development.

(10:00) -Toni-  
It was a decent conversation. You made some sense.

(10:01) -Toni-  
This is dangerous.

(10:01) -Toni-  
I'm going to call you at midnight more often.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
For the love of God, don't.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
So what else did you find in the interrogation?

(10:05) -Toni-  
Fangs knows who the counter-pranksters are but he won't tell us bc I can't keep a secret from Sweetpea and Sweetpea can't keep a secret from anyone. Or his fists of untamed pranking furry 

(10:06) -Toni-  
Fangs is the master secret-keeper.

(10:07) -Toni-  
So therefor Jug and I have come up with theories about who they may be and Fangs didn't deny them.

(10:07) -Toni-  
Didn't approve, but didn't deny.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
So you basically figured it out?

(10:10) -Toni-  
Probably. I bet it's Kevin.

(10:10) -Toni-  
And his friends.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Sweets isn't convinced but idk who else Fangs would keep a secret for.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
I don't know him that well but Kevin didn't seem like the... pranking type. 

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Joking, sure. Not pranks.

(10:13) -Toni-  
That's why Jug didn't think so, either. But I think I'm on to something. Even though I'll probably drop it now.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
Oh, is that a promise?

(10:15)-Toni-  
I liked you better when you were sleeping.

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
I think I liked you better when I was sleeping, too.

(10:17) -Toni-  
You didn't, actually. You swore at me.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
I do that when I'm fully conscious, too.

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
I have to go. I'll swear at you later.

(10:19) -Toni-  
Not if I beat you to it.

(10:19) -Toni-  
Bye, bitch.

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
Bitch? Ouch. Motherfucker.

(10:20)-Toni-  
😝

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
(stop)

*

Friday PM

(12:45) -Cheryl-  
I drove today, at the insistence of my parents

(12:46) -Toni-  
Wow. How was it?

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
I didn't kill anyone.

(12:49) -Toni-  
Always a bonus.

(12:50) -Cheryl-  
Didn't even injure my mother.

(12:51) -Toni-  
Moony, you're on fire. Though I can't say it isn't a shame.

(12:53) -Cheryl-  
I may be grounded for excessive swearing though. But they bought me the car, so they can't get mad

(12:55) -Toni-  
Surely, there would be an exception for stressful situations. And what the fuck, what kind of car?

(12:57) -Cheryl-  
Chevrolet Impala convertible. Bright red. 

(12:58) -Toni-  
Oh my god.

(12:58) -Toni-  
Youre so picking me up, you absolute red hot babe.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, okay Cha-Cha.

(1:00) -Toni-  
Cha-Cha?

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
Trying out new nicknames. Seems fitting, don't you think?

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
I have to go now but I'll tell you all about my driving failures later.

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
Fuck I mean successes 

(1:03) -Cheryl-  
Ignore me please

(1:03) -Toni-  
Boy, do I look forward to this story.

*

(1:15) -Toni-  
But I guess the most important question is – who do you think is the better driver? Me or you?

*

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
We drive different vehicles. I can't compare.

(2:34) -Toni-  
Oh my god it's me, I'm the better driver aren't I?

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
No!

(2:35) -Toni-  
I totally am

(2:35) -Cheryl-  
You suck at driving

(2:36) -Toni-  
Admit it.

(2:37) -Cheryl-  
I will not.

(2:39) -Toni-  
I'll ask Penelope.

(2:41) -Cheryl-  
I feel like I need to beg you not to. For your safety and my own

(2:41) -Cheryl-  
I don't know how you'd do it, but that you'd manage somehow.

(2:45) -Toni-  
I could write her a letter. Maybe write "I'm your daughters lesbian lover" as the sender?

(2:45) -Toni-  
Or maybe I'll look up Blossom's in the phone book. Give her a little call.

(2:49) -Cheryl-  
I'm getting us unlisted immediately.

(2:55) -Toni-  
So, you're shit at driving, huh?

(2:56) -Cheryl-  
There... May be a few garbage cans that might agree with you.

(2:57) -Toni-  
I knew it.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
But there will be some birds who would tell you that I'm just very cautious.

(3:00) -Toni-  
Did you fucking brake for birds?

(3:10) -Toni-  
Cheryl.

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
Yes, ok.

(3:13) -Toni-  
Oh my god

(3:13) -Toni-  
You're a disaster.

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
What's wrong with braking for birds?!

(3:16) -Toni-  
They fly!! It's very hard to hit a bird!

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
Tell that to ducks. There are some very lucky birds out there who are only alive because of me and I'm sticking by that.

(3:18) -Toni-  
Anything else of importance to add?

(3:19) -Cheryl-  
Ummm

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
No, that seems to be it.

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
Mumzie says I can get better so that's the best we can hope for.

(3:22) -Toni-  
By the sounds of it you did pretty good for your first time.

(3:24) -Cheryl-  
Thank you.

(3:25) -Toni-  
As opposed to Sweetpea.

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
This I want to hear.

(3:27) -Toni-  
Nearly drove off a bridge.

(3:29) -Cheryl-  
No.

(3:30) -Toni-  
Yes

(3:31) -Toni-  
There's still skid marks on the pavement. We like to visit it every now and then.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
How can you do so badly?

(3:35) -Toni-  
Swerving for birds, Bombshell.

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
You're just making fun of me now, aren't you.

(3:37) -Toni-  
Nope, absolutely not. FP nearly shot him he was so mad.

(3:38) -Toni-  
He doesn't give us driving lessons anymore.

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
Because of Sweetpea?

(3:39) -Toni-  
Yeah. He's been doing it for decades and all it took was Jordan's atrocious driving to make him seek retirement and a bottle of malt.

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Archie got stuck on a roundabout.

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Caused a pile up.

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
It was on the news.

(3:45) -Toni-  
OH MY GOD MOONY

(3:46) -Toni-  
You waited this long to mention this fuck up?

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
Didn't want to give you too much ammunition.

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
It was a good headline

(3:48) -Cheryl-  
TEEN'S TRAGIC TURN

(3:49) -Cheryl-  
Betty had it framed for him for Christmas.

(3:50) -Toni-  
Awesome. I'm going to look it up.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
If you ever want to see the colour drain from his face, just call him Teen Tragic.

(3:52) -Toni-  
I am so using this.

(3:52) -Cheryl-  
You're horrible.

(3:55) -Toni-  
You're enabling it.

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
Against my better judgment.

(3:59) -Toni-  
Does Betty drive?

(4:01) -Cheryl-  
No, and I think we're grateful for that

(4:01) -Cheryl-  
I imagine she'd speed a lot. And not stop for pedestrians 

(4:02) -Toni-  
Is there any other way to drive, Bombshell?

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
Yes

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
Safely

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
Cautiously

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
Braking for birds

(4:05) -Cheryl-  
Like that.

(4:06) -Toni-  
So boring.

(4:07) -Cheryl-  
So SAFE.

(4:07) -Cheryl-  
I have to clean the kitchen now

(4:08) -Cheryl-  
I was meant to be reading.

(4:09) -Toni-  
Don't try blaming that on me.

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
It's all your fault.

(4:10) -Toni-  
Is not.

(4:11) -Cheryl-  
Is too.

(4:12) -Toni-  
Go away Cinderella.

(4:13) -Cheryl-  
And you wish you were Prince Charming.

*

[Calling: Toni]

"I really hope you're not driving right now."

"Funny. I thought we established that I was the more sensible driver of the two?"

"The more boring of the two, indeed. Did you even do any burn outs?"

"Donuts. Over and over in the parking lot. Mum went insane."

"I can imagine you were thriving."

"Oh, most definitely. Never been more ecstatic."

"At least I have something to compete with tomorrow."

"Kinda why I'm calling. What's the plan for tomorrow?"

"I have an idea but it's a surprise –"

"Oh, Toni, please no. I've already had one surprise this week."

"But you didn't know it would be a surprise. Now you know there's going to be a surprise."

"That... that's the same thing."

"Bombshell, it most certainly is not."

"I'm sure you've got some insane logic behind this, but it's the same to me."

"Trust me on this. Please?"

"I feel like I have no choice."

"You don't. I'm your ride. I'll meet you at the ice cream parlour."

"Wow. There goes the surprise."

"That's not the plan. Give me some credit."

"Sure, sure. What time?"

"Eight."

"That's late."

"Trust me."

"Fine. Wait, are you saying you're picking me up on the – on Elvendork?"

"Yes. Gotta ride in style, Bombshell."

"I'm nervous now."

"Don't forget your helmet."

"Oh, yes, I forgot to mention – my dad thinks I'm taking up bicycles now. Betty thinks it's a good idea."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"You should be. She's looking up local bike shops."

"Your hipster cred can be complete, though."

"I'm going to hit you with my bike."

"Will it be enough to knock me gently down? That's crazy enough for you hipsters, isn't it?"

"I'm then going to reverse over you and run you down with my bike again."

"The amount of violence you direct toward me can't be healthy."

"All in good fun."

"Oh, yeah, I'm having a riot. So, the ice cream shop at eight, right?"

"Yeah, fine. Alright."

"So, if that was partially why you called..."

"Hm?"

"Then what's the other part?"

"O-oh, um. I just hadn't spoken to you in a few days."

"Oh. Well, hello."

"Hello indeed. Do you – hang on."

"Hm?"

"Ok, apparently I'm helping Mum with organic grocery shopping tomorrow morning."

"That sounds..."

"Boring."

"Did you just tell her I was Betty?"

"Yeah. Oh, sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it."

"We have to get there early or else it'll be swamped. Organic markets are serious business."

"What kind of business is it?"

"Ser – oh, I hate you."

"Couldn't resist."

"I'm usually so careful."

"I guess you're off to bed then?"

"Regrettably. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"And I'll see you tomorrow."

"That too. Good."

"G'night, Cheryl."

"'Night, Cha-Cha."

[Call Disconnected]


	13. Boulevard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is some Southside Shenanigans! 
> 
> Also side note, should I make one of Cheryl’s or both parents accepting in this AU? Because I want it to be a sweet story despite Cheryl having CF. Let me know! And also thank you so much for all the love :”) really inspires me to get a new chapter out literally the same day as the last one lmao

*

Saturday AM

(8:01) -Cheryl-  
There is a Hell and it's 8am.

(8:02) -Toni-  
I'm going to swallow my phone if it means you won't text me at an ungodly hour ever again.

(8:02) -Cheryl-  
Wow, what a change of pace this is.

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Now you know how it feels when I'm trying to sleep at night and you insist on talking.

(8:10) -Cheryl-  
This can't work if you ignore me.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
This is so unfair. Maybe next time I'll just stop replying too!

*

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
I need a bingo card for the market

(9:09) -Toni-  
"Old ladies running you over with their old lady carts"

(9:09) -Toni-  
"People trying to sell you useless shit"

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
"Screaming child"

(9:11) -Toni-  
"Fish"

(9:11) -Cheryl-  
Fish? Really, TT?

(9:11) -Toni-  
Fish.

(9:12) -Toni-  
Nope, still too early for talking.

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Oh come on, this is good. This is "I'm fulfilled with what life has given me."

(9:14) -Toni-  
I can be fulfilled with life at lunch.

(9:16) -Cheryl-  
The lunch suggests not.

(9:19) -Toni-  
Late night last night. Had important stuff to do.

(9:19) -Cheryl-  
I doubt that.

(9:21) -Toni-  
Okay, we shoved Pea into Sweet Water.

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
Aaaand I was right.

(9:23) -Toni-  
Someone had to do it.

(9:23) -Toni-  
We nearly forgot this year.

(9:24) -Cheryl-  
Each night before I go to bed, I pray for Sweetpea's life and fate.

(9:27) -Toni-  
He's already poured a gallon of water over my head in the freezing cold this year.

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
And what's Fang's and Jughead's annual... treatment?

(9:28) -Toni-  
For Fangs, It's usually decking him. Jughead is throwing his camera off an overpass

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
Usually?

(9:31) -Toni-  
Fangs wears belts now. We don't know what to do.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Pulling his shirt over his head?

(9:35) -Toni-  
The guy's fit, won't be embarrassing at all.

(9:36) -Cheryl-  
Pulling his shirt over his head and then slamming ? onto his stomach.

(9:36) -Toni-  
I'm listening. What could the ? be?

(9/ 38) -Cheryl-  
I was originally going to say a cream pie but that's... Clownish.

(9:40) -Toni-  
Fangs is the biggest clown I know, so it suits him.

(9:40) -Toni-  
Yell BINGO when an elderly lady asks you if you have a boyfriend

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
Hm, not quite.

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
You'd make a pretty boy.

(9:44) -Toni-  
Show them a picture with me in my football uniform, see if they believe it.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
That's not conclusive, old people have terrible eyesight.

(9:46) -Cheryl-  
Update: the old lady believed it.

(9:48) -Toni-  
I can't believe I'm your boyfriend.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are. Although my parents believe you are, so far.

(9:50) -Toni-  
Guess you can show your parents that same picture now.

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
Hey guys, great news! I'm not as gay as originally thought.

(9:52) -Toni-  
That's splendid news, dear! Congratulations!

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
I'm just happy to make you proud, Mother nightmare and father demented

(9:53) -Toni-  
You've made me very happy (wipes a tear) and I'm proud to call you my daughter

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
The scary thing is, my mother would be likely to say 'splendid'.

(9:54) -Toni-  
I've channeled her soul to make this role play as accurate as possible.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, don't call it a role play.

(9:55) -Toni-  
Play pretend?

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Yes, much better, thank you.

(9:57) -Toni-  
Are you still at the market?

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Yes. The place is flooded and

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
I've lost my mum.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
I'll talk to you later.

(9:58) -Toni-  
Good luck finding that demon of yours

*

(10:15) -Cheryl  
I called her and asked her where she was.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
"By the fresh produce stall"

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
That's great, Mother, but which one?

*

(10:56) -Toni-  
Sorry, eating late breakfast

(10:56) -Toni-  
Did you find her by the produce?

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
Eventually.

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
I got a ten minute lecture about how much texting I do.

(11:01) -Cheryl-  
I'm getting it again. Talk to you later.

*

Saturday PM

(3:42) -Toni-  
We still good for tonight?

(3:43) -Cheryl-  
Yes. I will be there at eight outside of the Three Scoops

(3:45) -Toni-  
Good, excellent. It's just, it wouldn't be our plans if we didn't obsess over every detail of meeting 

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
Of course. I'll check in a few hours if you're still able to make it.

(3:47) -Toni-  
I appreciate it.

*

(6:12) -Cheryl-  
So are you still able to make it tonight?

(6:13) -Toni-  
Wow, I didn't think you'd actually do it.

(6:15) -Cheryl-  
You doubted my sarcasm?

(6:16) -Toni-  
I doubted your dedication to the joke.

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
I'm very dedicated. Now answer the question.

(6:21) -Toni-  
Yes, Cher, Im still able to make it tonight.

(6:22) -Cheryl-  
Ill pick you up at the Three Scoops at eight.

(6:25) -Toni-  
I appreciate it.

*

The road looked like it had been slicked with orange oil under Toni's headlights. The early evening's downpour coated the tarmac, reflecting brightly under the streetlights and the glittering stars. Toni could feel spots of rain dance on the back of her hands and was extremely grateful for the worn leather on her back.

She hoped Cheryl wore a good jacket, too, but considering the girl probably lived in at least three layers of sweaters at all times, Toni didnt worry about it too much.

Her stomach bubbled with excitement. Toni had planned this for a long time, longer than she cared to admit, detailing the perfect date to bring Cheryl out on. She was quite impressed with herself, would have been one of those things she'd brag about if it didn't mean eternal ribbing from the guys who were probably getting shitfaced at the time

Cheryl, she was absolutely sure, would be impressed. And in awe. And also probably mortified that Toni remembered, but she counted on that the most.

This meant she could not be late. Not at all. Glancing quickly at her watch she read she had ten minutes to reach the Three Scoops, if she wanted to be absolutely punctual. Which for some reason, Cheryl was turning her into being.

Toni definitely wanted to be absolutely punctual.

She saw them before she heard them, the sheen on the road becoming coated in red, coated in blue, as flashing lights followed her and a siren sounded for her to pull over, and Toni mildly wondered how much trouble she'd be in if she got into a chase with the police officers.

With a disgruntled sigh, Toni pulled over the motorbike, her annoyance giving away to anxiety when she realised that she had just been pulled over by cops on her illegal bike.

Fuck, she thought. Fuck fuck fuck.

She nervously played at the baby hair at the nape of her neck,   
"Shit," she muttered under her breath, as the driver's door opened and out stepped an intimidatingly large figure. It limped toward her, favouring its right leg, and stopping beside her with a pen and notepad in hand.

"You," the officer said, and Toni had to crane her neck to look at his face. "I'm Officer Moody. Can I see your license and registration? Also, lift this thing up," he indicated, tapping his pen against the helmet.

Toni took off her helmet, shaking her hair loose into her face and rummaging through her back pocket for her wallet.

She thanked the Lord for Barty Junior's dodgy connections for getting her her fake license.

Toni cursed the Lord for making her forget it at in her trailer

"Shit," she muttered again,   
The officer grunted. "Do you even have a license, kid?”

"Uh," Toni stammered, finally looking into the terrifying gaze of the officer. Toni was shocked to find a mismatched pair of eyes, one almost black and the other piercing blue, both staring down at her and pinning her to the spot. Toni swallowed thickly.

"Thought you'd just nick this piece of machine and take it for a joy ride? Thought that'd be funny, huh?" Moody pressed

"What!" Toni gripped the handles of Elvendork tightly, "This is my bike! I made it!"

Moody raised an eyebrow, his blue eye bulging out alarmingly. "You made it, you say?"

"Uh, yeah," Toni replied unsure. "From scraps and stuff. Whatever I could scavenge. It’s what we do.”

“We do?” The officer reiterated, making a circle around the bike, engine yearning to speed off. Toni hoped it would. “Yeah, uh, Serpents.”

Moody gave a low whistle, closing his notepad and slotting it into his back pocket, fishing out a cigarette and pulling it to his lips “Got a lighter?”

She furrowed a brow, rummaging in her pocket for it, and tossing it at the large man

"Look," he said regrettably, after taking a puff, "I have to bring you in because you don't have a license. And I'm not condoning law breaking! Don't do this again!" He barked this at Toni so aggressively that Toni startled, clutching at her chest. "But I've got to bring you int'er the station. Call your parents to come get you. But I won't charge you with anythin'."

But Toni could already feel the colour draining from her face, her blood running cold. "M-my parents? Can you call someone else?"

Moody grabbed her by the shoulder, effortlessly dragging her off the bike and slapping her back roughly. "As long as they're overage," he grunted.

Toni calmed instantly, almost missing Moody tell her that someone will come collect her bike later and that it would be kept in the police garage as a repossessed vehicle.

"Repossessed?" Toni squawked as she was dragged to the patrol car. "Does that mean I'm not getting it back? Also," she added, "Aren't you going to read my rights or whatever."

Moody snorted. "You have the right to shut your trap, kid. You're not technically being arrested. You want the bike back, you better turn up to the police auction."

Toni slid into the backseat of the car, Moody slamming the door shut behind her. She groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

Trust Toni Topaz to get arrested on her first date with Cheryl Blossom.

“Does it help di I tell you I know the sheriff?”

Moody looked in his rear view mirror, flicking the cigarette ash out the window “Nope.”

*

Cheryl was trying very hard not to be nervous. She’d met with Toni three times now, had been alone with her one time before, and yet the butterflies in her stomach persisted. She hoped they weren't going out for food. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep it down.

A shiver passed down her spine, re-checking herself in the reflection of the glass for the umpteenth time. Red waves, red gloves, and a leather jacket Betty insisted she buy after seeing the redhead wearing the Serpent jacket on her birthday. She tightened her jacket around her slender frame checking her phone for the millionth time.

(8:06)

Six minutes late wasn't really that late, was it? She thought about that first time they tried to meet, Toni waiting for an hour while Cheryl was thrown around the house gathering clothes and toiletries, preparing for a trip she didn't want to go on. Toni’s anxiety must have been one hundred times worse than whatever Cheryl was feeling now, but the thought only brought her guilt instead of comfort.

The fact was Toni called this a date. An actual date because they were actually together. It all still sounded so surreal.

But surprisingly to Cheryl, it didn't feel different. Things were more or less the same, only now they saw each other more frequently, got to talk face to face.

Didn't mean she'd have to stop texting her, though.

(8:12) -Cheryl-  
I'm here, by the way. As promised.

She wondered if the text sounded anxious, worrying her lip between her teeth. Fuck it, she thought, she WAS anxious. Toni had also said it was a surprise. A surprise date was even worse than a regular date, not that Cheryl had ever been on one in the first place

(8:30) -Cheryl-  
I'd appreciate it if you were here, too.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
No rush or anything.

Toni waited for her for an hour that first time, Cheryl reminded herself. Today she could wait two.

Another chill spread through her body, droplets of water plinking on her nose. Maybe one and a half hours.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket, snatching it quickly and nearly dropping in on the pavement in her haste.

[Caller ID Unknown]

Cheryl frowned, but answered the call anyway.

"Hello?"

An automative voice answered her. “You are receiving a call from Riverdale Police Station. Do you wish to accept this call?"

Cheryl blinked. "What the fuck? Oh. Uh, ok. Yes.”

The line clicked before an exuberant voice burst in her ear, "Bombshell!"

"What the fuck?" Cheryl answered

"Uh, yeah," Toni’s raspy phone voice sounded sheepish. "Small problem."

"Is it?" Cheryl asked incredulously. "Is it really a small problem? I mean, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but by the sounds of things you've been arrested."

Cheryl could practically hear the shrug. "I'm officially a punk delinquent. Well, it’s not my first time in the cool cells of Riverdale, but still."

Cheryl sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between her index and thumb. "What did you do?" Her voice asked wearily.

"Elvendork has been confiscated."

"Oh, the illegal bike. Of course. Well, at least you didn't kill someone, I guess."

"I love that you're seeing the upside to this. Are you still at the meeting spot?"

Cheryl snorted. "My ass has been rooted here for a solid hour, yes."

"Shit." Toni sighed into the receiver. "I'm really sorry, Cher."

"I don't think I get to complain," Cheryl laughed, "I mean, you literally just got arrested."

"Kinda. But speaking of, do you think you could possibly bail me out?"

Cheryl was taken aback. "Me?"

"I... Don't want to cause trouble for the Jones’, they’re strapped for cash as it is. Also, you're over eighteen, so it's cool."

Cheryl breathed a sigh of relief, a small cough escaping in her exhale. "So, you're not going to jail?"

"Nope. I'll tell you the regaling tale once you come get me?" She sounded hopeful, almost as if she expected Cheryl to say no, so she couldn't help but tease the pinkette

"There's a part of me that wants to leave you there."

"Moony!" She shouted and Cheryl laughed in response

"I'm kidding. Alright, I'm coming to get your sorry ass. Blossom money and connections finally coming in handy.”

"My knight in shining armour," she cooed.

"Fucking damsel," Cheryl muttered, and hung up the phone, climbing into her parked impala.

*

Cheryl was glad that Riverdale was a small town. It meant getting to the police station only took a few minutes of walking, and before she knew it she was facing the drab station front, the doors automatic and checkered blue and white.

She entered slowly, edging past the empty plastic chairs with suspicious stains on them. There was only one officer at the front desk, not even looking up as Cheryl approached, instead scribbling away at a file and scratching distractedly at her head.

Cheryl tapped nervously at the front desk to get the officer's attention, making note of her name tag. Officer Gallagher.

She cleared her throat finally, coughing a little as she spoke, "I'm here to bail out... Uh, Toni Topaz?"

Gallagher didn't bother looking up. "Your name?"

"Cheryl Blossom."

The officer shot his head up, quickly scrambling to his feet. “Oh-yes, I’m so sorry Ms.Blossom. ID, please?”

Cheryl rolled her eyes, but jabbed her hand out to him, fingers flicking impatiently. He pulled the ID slotted it between her fingers. He glanced over it, noting down the serial number into his file before giving it back.

"Can I ask for your relationship with the detained, ma’am?" Cheryl noted how nervous he sounded, . "Uh..."  
The tall man began listing off with his fingers, "Relative, friend, partner –"

"G-Girlfriend," Cheryl tripped over the word. "She actually gotten arrested on our first date," she added.

"Sure sounds like a keeper," he drawled., standing and scratching at his head. "Come right this way, please."

Cheryl followed behind Gallagher, her feet whispering against the linoleum floor. She heard a deep murmuring voice bouncing off the yellowing walls, echoing down to them as incomprehensible words. The officer was yammering on about how Clifford Blossom was doing amazing things, to which she just nodded and ignored. The reply however was clearer, a bark of laughter Cheryl already knew too well, followed by an excited jumbled of jargon that Cheryl probably would have to Google to understand.

When they reached the cell containing Toni’s, Cheryl found her talking animatedly with a large, intimidating policeman, who watched Toni gesticulate with scrutiny but genuine interest.

Cheryl nearly tripped over her own feet. She knew that policeman.

"Bombshell!" Toni exclaimed, instantly bowing her head in embarrassment. "Uh, Cheryl. Hello."

"Hello," Cheryl replied distractedly, still staring at the policeman.

If Cheryl thought it possible, she would have said that Moody was surprised to see her. “Blossom," he said.

"Hello, sir," Cheryl greeted meekly.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Moody replied, confirming Cheryl’s suspicion.

"Honestly," Cheryl breathed, "I didn't expect to be here."

"Hang on," Toni interjected, "You two know each other?"

"We're neighbours," Moody said.

But Cheryl could hardly hear the exchange anymore. The reality of what was happening finally came crashing down on her, watching Toni slouch casually inside the holding cell as if he lived there with a cracked ceramic toilet bowl not a metre away from her. Cheryl didn't realise she was laughing at first, silent heaves stuck in her throat, but then there were tears streaming down her face and the best she could do to save the situation was to clamp one hand over her mouth, the other clutching at her stomach.

"Glad to see the two of you are taking this so seriously," Moody grumbled.

"I'm always serious, sir," Toni snorted before turning to Cheryl. "You alright, babe?"

Cheryl shook her head, wiping tears from her face as the last of her laughter subsided to giggles.

"I'm opening it up now," Gallagher informed them, his keys jangling from his hip.

Cheryl bit back the 'do you have to?', thinking that she should probably at least look like she was taking this more seriously. She was the adult of the two, after all.

Gallagher slid open the barred door, informing Toni that she was free to go and handing her over the plastic bag of her personal possessions. She smiled brightly at him, walking confidently to Cheryl and pecking her on the cheek.

"Hi," she said again.

"You're the worst," Cheryl replied vehemently before sighing. "Come on, before you commit another offence."

“Oh and,” Cheryl turned to the two police officers who watched them closely “Not a word about this. To anyone. Especially my parents, and you both get to keep your cushy jobs and holiday pay.” 

Toni looked at her girlfriend in amazement, huffing a laugh at how both the officers nodded furiously “Just... stay out of trouble, alright Serpent?” Moody exasperated 

“Yes, sir," Toni saluted. "Thanks, blue and black!"

Cheryl wanted to slap her hands over Toni’s mouth, horrified by what it was spewing out. She was surprised to hear Moody chuckle lightly, muttering about herbeing an arrogant little prick as he turned back into the station.

"You have a death wish," Cheryl gasped as Toni laughed mischievously.

"Moody's cool," she said, slipping her hand easily into Cheryl’s “And that was incredibly hot. Using your name for your benefit.”

Cheryl snorted “Yeah, well. It would give them both heart attacks knowing I used it to bail my girlfriend out.”

The concrete beneath their feet was pitted with puddles, their legs weaving in and out, bodies diverging and coming back together to avoid them like they were doing a little dance. They were halfway down the street when Cheryl turned to ask Toni where they were going, only to be cut off by another gasp.

"What?" Cheryl asked instead.

"I'm sorry!" Toni exclaimed. "I promised I'd be your ride."

Cheryl flashed the FOB of her car, waving the brunette off, snorting that it was all right. Toni let go of her hand and moved in front of her, crouching with her arms braced behind her.

"Hop on," she said.

"No," Cheryl automatically replied, horrified.”

"Yes," 

"You're not fucking piggy backing me. I have a car.”

"I most certainly fucking am," Toni challenged, "Or would you rather bridal style?"

"I'd rather keep my feet on the ground, thank you very much."

Toni looked over her shoulder, cocking an eyebrow. "I will tackle you," she warned.

"No you won't," Cheryll said confidently, crossing her arms over her chest. She coughed lightly. "I'm sick."

"Boo, you whore," Toni quoted. "You can't pull the sick card when it suits you."

Cheryl feigned indignance. "Can and will."

"If you're so sick then how come you're able to do so much walking?"

"Determination," Cheryl said airily, "To prove you wrong."

"Cheryl," Toni’s voice suddenly turned stern. Cheryl wanted to argue, to insist that he wasn't made of glass, but Toni’s pleading eyes turned him to liquid.

Cheryl groaned, muttering fine, fine fine, and climbing onto Toni’s back. “I brought my car for a reasonnn,” Cheryl groaned “Yeah, but I promised to be your ride. You need to trust in me”   
Toni exalted in joy, bouncing Cheryl gently and continuing on their way down the street.

Cheryl was glad that it was so dark, but being a Saturday night meant that there were a few people milling around the street.

She hid her face in the crook of Toni’s neck when a car of people started whistling at them, Toni giving them the finger with ease, keeping the redhead stable. Cheryl giggled into the brunette’s hair, who laughed in turn.  
Toni smelled sweet, her hair also tickling Cheryl’s nose that it was impossible to stop the small sneeze that she barely contained in the palm of her hand.

"You sneeze like a kitten," Toni told her and without waiting for a retort continued, "So, I had a plan to take you somewhere specific."

"Oh, really?" Cheryl asked sarcastically. Toni pretended to drop her, causing Cheryl to frantically find purchase to hold on and gripping tightly on Toni’s shoulders.

"But we can't get there without transport."

Cheryl couldn't help the roll of her eyes. "Ever heard of my car? That I brought!”

But Toni was off in her own world, mostly talking to herself when she said, "Also, it's already pretty late. Damn it."

"Where were we going?" Cheryl asked, blowing wisps of her hair out of her eyes

Toni smirked impishly. "Still not telling. It'll be a surprise next time, I guess."

"Aw, TT! Come on." Cheryl poked her in the cheek. "I hate surprises."

"I know, that's kinda why I'm keeping it a secret."

Cheryl pouted. "You're a bitch."

Toni turned the street corner, heading back to the main roads of Riverdale.

"Yep. So, here's the new plan."

The shop lights glittered like stars, and Cheryl decided that it didn't matter what the original plan Toni had in store. Whatever this one would be was good too.

Didn't stop her from urging Toni on, another poke aimed at her cheek. "Yeah? I'm listening."

The cobblestone o gave way to smooth concrete as Toni stepped over a nature strip, walking confidently through a car park.

"This is it," she told Cheryl.

"You're kidding," Cheryl said flatly.

The restaurant – and Cheryl used that term loosely – was surprisingly full for the time of night. The workers behind the counter bustled about hurriedly, filling orders and handing over paper bags. The place was brightly lit, hurting Cheryl’s eyes after so long in the dark street.

"I know someone who's working right now," Toni said. "Funnily enough, her last names Macdonald."

Cheryl could only image the torment of having the name Macdonald while working at its most famous namesake.

"Why are you –" Cheryl paused as they passed under the golden arches, continuing on in the car park. "Toni, you're going the wrong way."

"No, I'm not."

"The front door was over there. This is the –"

"Hello," a tired voice greeted them from the drive through window, "Can I take your – oh, for fuck's sake."

The McDonald's worker looked at them angrily, glaring at Toni in particular with a scowl on her face. Her long black hair was pulled into a plait down her back, a red cap and microphone fixed securely on her head. Toni grinned broadly at her.

"Hey, Mel. Looking as gorgeous as ever."

"Bite me, Topaz," Mel spat. "What the hell is this?"

"This," Toni hoisted Cheryl a little higher on her back, "Is Cheryl. And that's a pretty rude way to refer to her as. You call this customer service?"

Mel clacked a bubble between her lips. "No, this is a drive through. You know, for cars! I can't serve you!"

Toni faced Cheryl, craning her neck to look at her “Cheryl, this is Mel, and she's very mean."

"Hello, Mel," Cheryl said politely, slightly worried that she would call her manager on them.

"Cheryl would like half a dozen nuggets and medium fries, Mel," Toni ordered. "Also –"

"I hope you get hit by a car," Mel interjected. "Not you, Cheryl. Just Toni."

Cheryl smiled. "Thanks."

"Aaaaand, I'd like a Big Mac," Toni said as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Please?"

Mel gazed at her haughtily, popping another bubble and swirling her tongue to collect the gum.

"Oh my God, Toni, just take us inside," Cheryl pleaded.

Mel groaned exaggeratedly, bashing buttons into the register carelessly. "Fine, whatever, I'll ring it up."

Toni lit up. "Mel, you're a queen."

"I fucking better be," she said pointedly, "I have to deal with idiots like you all night."

"Yeah, but you like me."

She snorted. "Hardly. Would you like fries with your Big Mac?"

Toni couldn't suppress her laughter. "Did you... Did you just ask if I'd like fries with that?"

"I'm going to kick your ass, Toni Topaz," she said through gritted teeth.

"I'd love fries," Toni said amicably, "Also a strawberry milkshake for Moo- Uh, Cheryl."

"Moo-Cheryl," she muttered into Toni’s ear, "Fantastic." Toni shushed her.

"Go to the other window already," Mel whined, "Tell them I said it was ok."

"Thanks, Mel!" Toni said cheerily, skipping down the drive through.

"Sorry, Mel!" Cheryl shouted, waving to her over her shoulder. She waved back lazily, and before turning around the corner Cheryl swore she saw her smirk.

*

Toni took them to the botanical gardens, insisting that she continue carrying Cheryl even when trudging up a steep and rain-slicked hill.

She nearly dropped her half a dozen times, Cheryl giving a slight squeak each time, but eventually they reached the top. They had an overreaching view of Riverdale, the town below flashing delicately like jewels in a black ocean. It looked like an oil painting, the rain and mist a thumb smudging out the lights.

"So, what do you want to be when you grow up, Moony?"

Toni’s voice startled her out of her day dream, turning away from the view to watch as the girl draped her leather jacket out on the dewy grass. The trees overhead managed to keep most of the rain from falling to the ground, but it was still slightly damp.

"'When I grow up'?" Cheryl mimicked. "I'm already, technically, an adult. Before you, might I add."

Toni rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you've mentioned that. But you know what I mean."

She sat down on one side of the jacket and placed their bags of food beside him. She tapped the empty space for Cheryl to join her.

"How would I like to best contribute to capitalist society through my goods and serviced?" Cheryl asked, raising an eyebrow.

Toni ruffled through the bag, pulling out the packet of fries and stuffing a few into her mouth. "You're such a cynic, Bombshell." Bits of potato came spitting out of her mouth.

"Ew.” Cheryl grimaced “I don't know," She continued and sat beside down. "What do you want to do?"

Toni gave a non-committal shrug. "I'm not sure yet. I like building and making things."

"Like Elvendork." Cheryl searched for her own food, only just realising how long it had been since she'd eaten.

"Like Elvendork, may they rest in peace."

"This might sound like the obvious answer," Cheryl said slowly, "but what about a mechanic?"

"That is the obvious answer," Toni scoffed.

"Can't you let me dream for oil and overalls?" Cheryl joked, but it was Toni’s suggestive smirk that made her face hot.

She expected Toni to keep ribbing her, but instead she snatched one of the nuggets, "Building a robot would be cool."

"Like those battle robots?"

"Not what I meant, but that would be cool too. Yeah," she said wistfully, "That's really cool."

"I think I'm sorry I suggested it." Cheryl took a long drink from her milkshake. "So, like, mechanical engineering?"

"Maybe." Toni tapped her chin. "I don't know. I should probably start looking at courses."

"Probably!" Cheryl spluttered.

"Well, have you started?" She shot back.

“Yes. I’ll have you know I have straight A’s.”

Toni’s voice was high when she asked, "You really think I could go to university?"

"Of course!"

"I couldn't even do high school."

"That's because high school sucks," Cheryl chuckled, biting into her nugget, “At least Betty and Archie say I dodged a bullet. Veronica on the other hand...”

Toni scoffed, and looked at the horizon in thought  
"I don't know..." She trailed off, fiddling with the necklace slung around her neck. Cheryl grabbed one of her hands, rubbing the back with the pad of her thumb.  
“I believe in you, TT.”

"Moony," Toni whispered earnestly, "What do you want to do?"

"I'd like to be a teacher." Cheryl paused. "See the problem?"

"No?" Toni replied sincerely.

Cheryl couldn't look at her. She told the grass, "I couldn't even attend high school, so how am I going to teach at one?"

Cheryl could feel Toni’s shrug tug her arm. "I don't know. But you'll figure it out when you get there. You can be a substitute teacher, work the days you can and don't on the days you can't."

"You make it sound like it'll be easy," she said, irritably laced in her voice

"Of course it won't be easy. Doesn't mean you quit. You're worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, and won't happen for a long time."

Cheryl finally looked up to meet Toni 's kind gaze, finding the determination and confidence that Cheryl lacked there. She smiled shyly.

"Thanks, Toni," 

Toni nodded in assent. She took the Cheryl’s job in gently massaging the taller girl’s hand, impossibly warm despite the cold weather.

"I reckon you'd be a great teacher," Toni said after a long pause. "You're always telling me when I'm wrong."

Cheryl grinned. "Like when you say 'reckon' and I have to tell you that it isn't considered to be a formal word?"

"If I can speak it, it's real," she declared petulantly.

Cheryl laughed lightly and fell onto her back, tugging Toni down with her. Her head rested on the springy grass, but she didn't mind so much as long as she got to look up at the stars above them.

"Does that apply to mythical creatures, too?" Cheryl asked.

She heard Toni make a thoughtful sound beside her, rolling onto her side to look down at Cheryl. "I'll let you know when I ride a hippogriff."

Cheryl laughed warmly “Harry Potter dork.”  
They stayed like that for a moment until Toni leaned in closer, her hair falling over Cheryl's face before she could reach her lips. Cheryl giggled slightly, tucking the strands behind Cheryl’s ear and cradling the back of her head, fingers tangling in the long red strands. Cheryl pulled her closer by the front of her shirt, meeting her in a chaste kiss that quickly became heated. Toni’s lips were sliding against hers, nipping at her bottom lip briefly as her body drew in closer, the pair nearly chest to chest.

"Oh..." Toni sighed, and Cheryl thought it was some kind of funny moan until she continued, "Oh, no."

Cheryl’s brown eyes blinked open to see the disgusted look on Toni’s face “What?"

"I've put – Oh, gross!" Toni rolled over further onto Cheryl’s lying figure so that she was completely on top of her, holding up her arm. "I put my elbow in your fries!"

"Oh, TT, not my fries!" Cheryl whined, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout

"They were cold anyway, ok? Also, not good for you."

Their noses were nearly brushing, Toni’s hair falling out from behind her ear again and causing a curtain around their faces.

"I seem to recall an entire box of donuts you consumed – mm!" Toni captured her mouth in another kiss, retracting a few moments later. "Oi!"

"Stop proving me wrong," Toni said, but she didn't sound like she meant it.

Cheryl decided to play along. "How else will I get kissed, then?"

"Asking nicely."

"Toni, I – I can't," Cheryl started laughing uncontrollably, "Oh my God, you smell like potatoes."

"Moony!" Toni buried her face in Cheryl’s shaking chest, groaning as Cheryl patted her head sympathetically.

Cheryl felt a shot in her back pocket. "Oh, I'm vibrating."

Toni looked up. "Excuse me?"

"Move over, my phone's in my back pocket." She tried pushing Toni’s shoulder, but didn't budge. "You're not moving."

Toni smirked down at her. “Nope."

"Asshole," Cheryl sighed. She lifted her hips from the ground to reach into her back pocket, pressing impossibly closer to the girl above so that their hips bumped. She lit up her screen, hoping the light didn't show how red her face had become, and read the caller ID. "It's my mum."

"I won't say anything inappropriate."

"I don't believe you – shut up!" Toni started laughing, whispering Cheryl’s name into her ear. Cheryl shushed her before answering the phone, keeping a hand pressed over Toni’s mouth.

After a few uh huh's and sorry's and yes mum's, Cheryl hung up. "I've gotta go home. Apparently it's midnight."

"Oh, shit. Ok. I'll walk you home." Toni lifted herself off the ground, shaking grass from her hair and holding out a hand to help Cheryl up.

"Actually walking this time, please," Cheryl said, a laugh escaping her lips as the brunette lifted her “You’re surprisingly strong, I’ve realized today.”

Toni smirked “Yeah, gotta be when youre fighting the enemies of the southside.”

Cheryl pushed her playfully, smiling when a kiss was placed on her cheek  
*

The walk home was comfortably silent. The only sounds they could hear was the distant laughter of late-night party goers, random cars doing skids, and the sound of smashing glass that told Cheryl was most likely a robbery.

"How are you getting home?" Cheryl asked as they turned onto the gated community where Thornhill stood, towering menacingly at the end of the road.

"I texted FP. Told him I caught the bus here. He should be – ah, there he is." She waved to the car approaching, headlights blinking at them in greeting. Toni turned back to the ginger. "Hey, I'm sorry I fucked up our date."

"You didn't fuck it up."

"I got arrested," Toni said plainly.

"A minor set back."

"You had to bail me out of jail," she insisted, but Cheryl just laughed.

"Well, it makes for an interesting story. I think I want to be there when you have to tell the guys, honestly."

Toni groaned. "Fangs is gonna go mental. That's not gonna be pretty." She buried her face in her hands, grounding the palm of her hand into her eyes, effectively smudging the mascara on her cheek

Cheryl laughed again, stopping to remove the makeup from under the serpents eye “You really didn't fuck it up. It was a good night."

"It was, once I got out of a cell," Toni's muffled voice came through her hands. She peeked through her fingers. "Good night, Cheryl."

Cheryl smiled, kissing her one last time and startling back as a car horn beeped at them excitedly.

"'Night," Cheryl laughed, watching Toni’s face disappear again behind her hands.

"Yep," she answered. "Good night."

"Good night," Cheryl said again.

"G– Hey, don't do that."

“Wait, Cheryl!” Toni called, 

Cheryl stood on the sidewalk, turning around to look at the nervous brunette who seemed to be teetering on her toes “You could... if you wanted since it’s Saturday... uh...”

Cheryl smirked, stepping forward with a newfound confidence, teasing her red hair in a way that made Toni’s jaw slack and eyes pop out from when they were previously hidden. She quickly regained her composure, ignoring how close Cheryl’s chest was to her own.  
“What, TT?” 

Her voice was soft, calculating, but non the less sexy as her breath brushed the shell of Toni’s ear “D-do you want to... stay the night?”

Cheryl pulled back, looking for any sign of uncertainty on the tanner girls face. Satisfied when she found none, she nodded enthusiastically “Of course, TT. I’ll just... uh,” Cheryl fished her phone out, quickly typing out a text and bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet. A chime came, and she released the breath she hadn’t realized- and probably shouldn’t have been holding “Mother dearest thinks I’m at Betty’s. Let’s go.”


	14. Do You Feel Like A Man When You Push Her Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn’t very good nor long but I’m moving houses and it’s rlly traumatic and emotional and a lot of work so, bear with me. I’ll try and have the next chapter out ASAP ROCKY

"Thanks," Cheryl smiled shyly at the cocker bottle offered to her, Toni taking the empty lawn chair beside her around the fire pit

"So, you're the Cheryl I've heard so much about!" Barty beamed, running over and tackling the redhead in a hug "Um, yeah... that's me," 

Toni rolled her eyes, popping the cap off her beer and shoving Barty in the shoulder "Back off, Junior."

Barty feigned innocence, throwing his hands up in surrender, "Just wanted to meet the girl you never shut up about- Ow!" Sweetpea laughed as the smaller boy rubbed his sore arm, sulking off to the opposite side of the fire pit

"Good to see you, Bombshell." Sweetpea grinned, dropping down in front of the girls, giggling maniacally when Fangs came stumbling over and falling into his lap  
Her gaze stopped on the drunken mess . Sweet Pea was still pretty scary looking, but he had a bright smile as he talked amoursly with the shorter boy

"Uh?" Cheryl looked at Toni with silent question, who just raised her beer and smiled toothily "The Serpent way." 

"Speaking of that, can someone please tell me what the Serpent code is?" 

FP appeared out of nowhere, which Cheryl decided to accept as something normal around here, swinging his arm around Jughead's shoulders "Why dont you go ahead and tell her, boy? Someday you'll be takin' over the family business."

Jughead groaned in embarrassment as his father shook him by the shoulder, pulling a log up to sit in across from the girls "Well," he sighed, adjusting the beanie on his head, "Theres several laws we go by. They're incredibly important to us. Which is why they're laws and not rules," He drawled, "One, a Serpent never shows cowardice."

The boys nodded, puffing their chests out almost heroically. Toni did the same, saluting FP.

"No Serpent stands alone."  
The boys made a show by wrapping their arms around each other, or at least tried to, and just ended up in a heaved mess once again

"If a Serpent is killed or imprisoned, their family will be taken care of." Cheryl couldnt help but look at each teen sitting around the pit. Were all of their families dead? 

"No Serpent is left for dead. A Serpent never betrays his own."   
Cheryl saw the small smile playing on Toni's lips, and felt her heart swell fondly

"And lastly," Jughead smirked, counting to three where every Serpent nearby shouted out; "In unity, there is strength!"

FP clapped his son on the shoulder, ruffling the beanie on his head and stalking off to join some of the older looking men hanging by the keg. Cheryl took in the trailer park, scoping the scrappy surroundings the Serpents called home.

There were a bunch of rusty silver trailers sitting in a circle, some parked further into the foliage.   
There were chairs strewn haphazardly around the campsite, empty cans and red solo cups thrown on the ground. She briefly wondered which was Toni's trailer, but that was solved as the pinkette pointed to one with a small pride flag hanging off the door.

When Cheryl went to open her mouth, a snarky remark on her tongue, she was cut off by a bunch of people shouting incoherently, forming around the makeshift bar. When she was going to ask what was happening; a body was thrown down onto the table.

"Holy shit."

"Oh fuck," Toni groaned, standing, following the three boys who were already making their way over to the group, 

With a nervous glance around, she followed thru the throttles of people. Had there always been that many serpents?   
in approaching, she saw Jughead with a sneer and a few other serpent members with the same faces., facing off with another gang with strange face paintings done and torn up clothes, carrying baseball bats and various other strange weapons.

"Your kinds not welcome here, Ghoulie." Fangs growled out, and that just seemed to cause the other gang to get riled up.

Oh, so those were the Ghoulies. They looked a lot more awful when they weren't in their football gear.

"Such a shame," the oldest of the Ghoulies said, rounding the group to stand in front of the pink haired serpent "What happened at the game. Didn't want it to have to be like this, but well, we all know what happens when the Southside scum," he emphasized the last word by spitting near Toni's boots "Cheat to win."

"We didn't cheat, Malachai. So take your goons and go." Fangs growled out lowly, stepping up to face the smug man

Cheryl watched as Toni's nails dug into her palm. Her knuckles were white, and face expressionless as the man continued circling her. So this was Toni's brother?  
Something in Cheryl's stomach clenched uneasily. Protectiveness suddenly filling her lithe body with rage.

she couldn't tear her eyes away from the event unfolding, despite the pit in her stomach just digging deeper. "Is this your little girlfriend?" Another boy smirked, pointing at the redhead who was rooted in spot. "Let me introduce myself honey, I'm Kurtz" he grinned, his teeth chipped and eyes hungry "I like this one Topaz, maybe I'll take her home with me tonight."

A blow to his jaw landed, and it was almost surprising how strong Toni could be. He doubled over, and in a mere flash blades were extracted from the serpents, bats lifting on the other side, as the serpents and Ghoulies went at each other

The man kicked Toni down, and she spat out some blood that was pooling in her mouth "fuck..." she grumbled out, before standing back to her feet, her fists faster than the Ghoulie could react.

He landed his own blows, and by now FP, hand clutches on the pistol by his side, quickly pushed the two apart, "Serpents, back down!" He commanded, shooting a fiery look at his son, who was wiping the blood from his mouth

"Get the hell out of here, you're on Serpent land." The bearded man sneered. The Ghoulies began running off, Malachai shooting his sister a look that wasn't readable, before stomping back to his car.

Sweetpea shook his bloodied fist out, grabbing a beer can and chugging it, crushing it and tossing it before wiping the excess on the back of his hand.

"Oh..." Cheryl looked in horror at the brunette, who's face was bloodied and bruised, staring up at her helplessly, chest heaving "Oh my god, TT..." 

Toni groaned, lifting herself to her feet with the help of Jughead and Fangs, who looked her over like they were human X-Ray machines, checking for any obvious contortions.

"I'm good, guys." 

She looked uneasy, glancing at the same pride flag hanging from her trailer, rolling her shoulders back   
"Do you want to, uh.... come have a look around my trailer? While I get cleaned up."  
Toni was nervous, by the sight of her biting her cheek and bouncing leg. 

Sweetpea shouted from over the lip of his new found beer "Have fun, ladies! 

Toni just flipped him off, shoving a laughing Cheryl into the warmth of her home.

Cheryl looked around the trailer. Her bedroom alone was probably the size of half the trailer, but despite its size she had to admit it had a cozy, home-like feeling. 

"I'll be right back, babe!" Toni called out, already making her way to what Cheryl could only assume was her bedroom.

She paced around anxiously. The house smelt like Toni. Her clothes were thrown in a random basket Cheryl a summer to be laundry, a few dishes in the sink.   
She smirked, walking over to the yellowing picture pinned to the wall. It was Toni and Jughead as kids, arms thrown around each other and oversized leather jackets swung around them. Even back then, Jughead seemed to keep that grey beanie with which the threads were being torn at this point.

"Okay, I'm back!"  
The trailer was in rough shape, Toni though, looked like something right out of a movie. her hair wasnt lacking in shine from the overhead bulb and was pulled into a high ponytail, a strip of pink hair loose by her face, and her lips were adorned a dull pink lipstick, and she for the first time Cheryl ever saw, wasnt wearing her usual Serpent jacket and combat boots but instead a bright yellow hoodie and slippers. but she was still so much more alive than the last time she had seen her.   
All traces of makeup and coverage hiding her battle scars from her fight with that dickhead Ghoulie washed right off, and Cheryl could really see how bad the marks on her face were. A dark blue and purple- maybe even black covered her cheek, with a swollen lip that she hadn't noticed earlier.

"Cheryl?" She heard Toni ask, and looked over at the concerned girl who was probably wondering where her mind was going off to "You okay?"

"Just much cleaner than I expected."

Toni laughed. It was true, her home was surprisingly clean besides the mostly empty bottle of vodka and stray beer cans littering the kitchen. But yet, the magazines were neatly on the table in the similar living room, with a warm light filling space. A fluffy blanket hung over the couch, and a plush carpet covering up the floorboards.

Toni smiled softly "Wanna come meet someone?" She asked softly, placing a careful hand on her shoulder "Uh, sure.."

The floor creaked with every step, but the redhead found herself adoring the quaint little trailer the longer she was there. It was warm and full with colourful and personal things, unlike her cold, empty and soulless home. Covered in posters of Toni's favourite musicians, and tapestry's pinned up to hide the cracks and holes in the walls. It didn't cease the cold winter breeze drawing thru, but the limitless amounts of blankets and pillows on Toni's bed kept it insulated a bit better. Laying on the bed with shaggy blonde fur and bright eyes was a dog, tail wagging and toy forgotten upon the new face. He quickly jumped off the bed, paws splaying just below Cheryl's knees as he barked excitedly   
"This," Toni laughed, swooping the dog into her arms "Is Hot Dog."

Cheryl smiled, running a hand over the dog's soft ears "Hot Dog?" She asked amusedly, looking at the faded dog tag 

"Yep. He's the best boy in the Serpents." 

"Did you pick that name out too?"

"Yup!"  
Toni put the dog back on the bed, sitting down beside him allowing him to curl up on her lap "I like your trailer." Cheryl confessed, sitting on the surprisingly comfy bed

Toni smiled sheepishly "Yeah, sorry it's a mess.. wasnt expecting to just randomly ask you to hangout at midnight." 

Cheryl laughed, nodding her head in agreement "Neither did I. But I'm glad you did." 

Toni looked up briefly, her cheeks flush "Me too."

A loud knock came to the door of the trailer, and Toni groaned dramatically, pulling herself to her feet   
and making her way to the door, pulling it open to see Jughead, camera in hand and the other two boys smiling impishly at her "What?" 

"Come on. We're teaching Cheryl to use her bow." 

Both Cheryl and Hot Dog's ears perked up, excitement bubbling low in her belly.   
How was it that behind surrounded by what her parents referred to as petty thieves and criminals was more of a home then Thornhill.

Toni came running back in, tossing her serpent jacket on, pulling her hair down, tossing a beanie off and pulling her boots on.  
Cheryl was dumbfounded how fast the girl changed.

"You coming?" Toni smirked, offering her hand "Oh, also," Toni pulled her in closer, her lips inches away from Cheryl's ear, causing a shiver to run up her spine like fingers on a piano "I love that jacket on you." 

Yeah, Cheryl could definitely get used to being apart of the Serpent life.   
*

Sunday AM

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
I told my mum about you.

(10:46) -Toni-  
Oh, shit, really? How'd it go?

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
Surprisingly good

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
Except she's upset with me because I lied to her about last night

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
But I expected that.

(10:48) -Toni-  
I'm relieved it went okay. Maybe Penelope isn’t as crazy as everyone says

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
No, she’s definitely just as crazy.

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
I don't know what to do about my Dad, though.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
I'm really scared about telling him. He’s very... vocal about his beliefs.

(10:52) -Toni-  
Then don't. If your mum won't tell him either.

(10:53) -Cheryl-  
She won't tell him, but she also won't lie to him.

(10:55) -Toni-  
But she'll back you up, won't she?

(10:59) -Cheryl-  
I think so. I hope so.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Well, I will in any case. And the boys. I'm sure we can fit you under Fangs’ bed.

(11:00) -Cheryl-  
Ha. Thanks, Toni.

(11:01) -Cheryl-  
Mum said that it did explain some things.

(11:03) -Toni-  
Things?

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
She said she thought I was reading a lot of humour articles on my phone.

(11:04) -Toni-  
Awww

(11:04) -Toni-  
Did you tell her I'm better than any humour article?

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
She's been asking me this whole time what's so funny whenever I laugh

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
She said she got suspicious when I refused to tell her.

(11:06) -Toni-  
You're the worst liar.

(11:08) -Cheryl-  
I am. But did you tell them that you got arrested?

(11:09) -Toni-  
It's a Sunday morning, Moony, after a night of drinking and brawling, do you really think they're awake?

(11:10) -Toni-  
Well, Fangs is awake but he also got up at nine in the morning to do laps of the trailer park like a freak

(11:10) -Toni-  
But Jug is still asleep on the couch. Fucking Sweetpea decided to crash on my floor.

(11:13) -Cheryl-  
It's nearly the afternoon.

(11:14) -Toni-  
It's Sunday.

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
It's still nearly the afternoon.

(11:16) -Cheryl-  
Are you telling me that I woke you up?

(11:18) -Toni-  
Uh. Yeah. But now I'm wondering how many pillows I'll have to throw at Sweets to wake him up and make him get me something to eat.

(11:19) -Cheryl-  
Why does he put up with you, honestly.

(11:20) -Toni-  
Sometimes we do his physics tests for him.

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
His tests? How?

(11:21) -Toni-  
Very sneakily. We've had a lot of practice

(11:21) -Toni-  
Three pillows and he's still snoring

(11:22) -Toni-  
I'm running out of ammo. Bring me your bow and arrows.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
No, you psychopath. Just get up yourself.

(11:26) -Toni-  
The aim is so I don't have to get up at all.

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
Lazy.

(11:28) -Toni-  
Says the girl who got carried all night.

(11:29) -Cheryl-  
Shall I text Fangs? "Guess what I had to do last night before I came over – you'll love this story."

(11:30) -Toni-  
Moony, you wouldn't.

(11:31) -Cheryl-  
You're the one that insisted I be carried.

(11:32) -Toni-  
I did promise you transport.

(11:33) -Cheryl-  
Leave Sweetpea alone.

(11:35) -Toni-  
Fiiiine, I'll get up

(11:35) -Toni-  
AND JUMP ON HIM

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
TONI.

(11:36) -Toni-  
We're gonna go get Fangs and I'll break the news

(11:36) -Toni-  
Prepare my casket.

(11:38) -Cheryl-  
White or red roses?

(11:39) -Toni-  
Red like the blood that will be spilt all over the cafeteria floor. And like your hair. Gotta honour you in my death, too.

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
Done.

*

Sunday PM

(1:25) -Toni-  
My arms hurt from being punched so much

(1:25) -Toni-  
I liked your reaction much better, you know

(1:26) -Toni-  
Hysterical laughter is so much nicer to being beaten up.

(1:27) -Cheryl-  
Fangs or Jughead?

(1:27) -Toni-  
FUCKING BOTH

(1:28) -Toni-  
They ganged up on me.

(1:29) -Cheryl-  
Maybe their reaction was more appropriate.

(1:30) -Toni-  
I don't care about appropriate, yours was still better. Pretty sure I preferred getting beaten up by Kurtz, too.

*

(1:40) -Fangs-  
Thanks for bailing the shithead out.

(1:41) -Cheryl-  
That's ok

(1:41) -Cheryl-  
Didn't have much of a choice, honestly

(1:42) -Cheryl-  
She was paying for dinner.

(1:43) -Toni-  
You realise I'm here, right?

(1:43) -Cheryl-  
Oh, TT, hello.

(1:44) -Jughead-  
I'm here too. Did you get a picture?

(1:45) -Cheryl-  
Regrettably not.

(1:46) -Jughead-  
Damn. Would have looked great in the year book.

(1:47) -Sweetpea-  
Jug, enough with your year book shit.

(1:47) -Jughead-  
Don't you want to capture your high school memories?

(1:47) -Sweetpea-  
I'm not bothered.

(1:49) -Jughead-  
Liar

(1:50) -Jughead-  
Sweetpea, dw, we've got plenty of photos we can use for Toni here.

(1:51) -Cheryl-  
Can I see them?

(1:52) -Jughead-  
Of course.

(1:52) -Toni-  
No!

(1:53) -Jughead-  
Too late, Toni. This is your punishment for GETTING ARRESTED.

(1:53) -Jughead-  
But, I also got this one last night. 

(1:53) - Jughead-  
*1 image attached*

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/j5mcku-JOMk/maxresdefault.jpg

(1:54) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god, Jughead, you're amazing

(1:54) - Toni-  
That's... actually really fucKING CUTE OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU

(1:55) -Fangs-  
Hey, Topaz, do you think you'll get your actual licence now? 

(1:55) -Jughead-  
Oh, what a shocking idea.

(1:55) -Toni-  
Stuff it, dickheads.

(1:55) -Toni-  
Maybe.

(1:56) -Fangs-  
If you ever want to ride a motorcycle again in you life then you should be saying YES.

(1:57) -Toni-  
Hey Pea, when did Drew become our mother?

(1:57) -Sweetpea-  
Idk man maybe when you got ARRESTED.

(1:58) -Toni-  
I thought I could count on you.

(1:58) -Sweetpea-  
You want me to side against Fangs? That's dangerous. He's got an army of girls that owe him a favour.

(1:59) -Fangs-  
Yeah, Toni. Don't be messing with my motherfucking clique.

(1:59) -Toni-  
I am your clique!

(2:00) -Fangs-  
Not anymore. We don't let prisoners into the clique.

(2:01) -Toni-  
I wasn't even a prisoner. I wasn't charged! and newsflash asshole we've ALL been arrested. Were in a fucking G A N G 

(2:01) -Toni-  
Bombshell, help me out.

(2:02) -Cheryl-  
No, no, I'm enjoying this.

(2:03) -Toni-  
You know what Cheryl did when she came and got me? She laughed! Actually laughed!

(2:03) -Cheryl-  
Hey! Traitor!

(2:03) -Jughead-  
I would have laughed too seeing your sorry ass parked in a cell.

(2:04) -Cheryl-  
It was quite amusing.

(2:05) -Toni-  
I don't deserve any of this.

(2:05) -Jughead-  
Hey, be thankful I'm not telling FP.

(2:05) -Toni-  
...Yeah.

(2:06) -Toni-  
Okay

(2:06) -Toni-  
Thanks, Jug.

(2:07) -Jughead-  
You're welcome. Don't get fucking arrested again, ok? 

(2:07) -Toni-  
Ok. Promise.

(2:09) -Fangs-  
At least not without us

(2:10) -Sweetpea-  
Took the words right out of my mouth

(2:11) -Jughead-  
Maybe send Cheryl some chocolate.

(2:12) -Toni-  
She doesn't seem like the chocolate type

(2:14) -Fangs-  
Can never do wrong with flowers.

(2:14) -Sweetpea-  
True that

(2:15) -Sweetpea-  
Oh, and a handmade card with a love letter?

(2:16) -Toni-  
Yeah Sweets, can I borrow your scrap booking things for it?

(2:16) -Sweetpea-  
It's not scrap booking!

(2:17) -Fangs-  
It pretty much is, dude.

(2:17) -Toni-  
Is this the year book thing again?

(2:18) -Jughead-  
Yeah, Sweetpea joined the club.

(2:18) -Sweetpea-  
I have an artistic flair.

(2:19) -Jughead-  
Or that's what Veronica says but we're not so sure.

(2:20) -Sweetpea-  
Fuck you guys, you'll see. My pages will be the best.

(2:21) -Fangs-  
We'll hold you to that.

(2:22) -Toni-  
So I can't use your glitter glue?

(2:23) -Sweetpea-  
You have been banned from using both glitter and glue so what makes you think I'd let you have a combination of the two?

(2:24) -Toni-  
Marauders Code? Help a girl out?

(2:24) -Sweetpea-  
Maruaders Code does not cover glitter glue, I'm afraid. Maybe check the Serpent's.

(2:25) -Toni-  
It should cover it. We should write it in.

(2:25) -Fangs-  
That's not how legislation works. We'll write it in after the matter is dealt with.

(2:26) -Sweetpea-  
Don't touch my glitter glue.

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
What use is glitter glue in a year book? Isn't it all printed?

(2:27) -Fangs-  
...

(2:27) -Toni-  
Shit, she's right.

(2:28) -Jughead-  
Sweetpea, what's the glitter glue for?

(2:29) -Sweetpea-  
Not telling.

(2:29) -Toni-  
You have to.

(2:30) -Sweetpea-  
No I don't.

(2:30) -Jughead-  
We'll jump you.

(2:31) -Sweetpea-  
I'm used to it by now. Do your worse.

(2:32) -Toni-  
We bid you farewell, Bombshell. Important business to attend to.

(2:33) -Cheryl-  
I understand. Good luck, Sweetpea.

(2:33) -Sweetpea-  
Thanks maAa

(2:33) -Cheryl-  
?

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
Oh, you've already been ambushed.

(2:34) -Cheryl-  
God speed.

*

(9:22) -Cheryl-  
I hope Sweetpea is still alive.

(9:23) -Toni-  
Eh, he'll be fiiiiiine.

(9:26) -Toni-  
Hey

(9:27) -Toni-  
Can I call you?

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
Of course.

[Calling: Cheryl]

"Hey."

"Hi."

"I don't actually have anything to say."

"Neither do I, really. I'm reading the books Lyon gave me."

"The erotica?"

"No, TT, not the erotica."

"Shame."

"Did you know that there's a couple in the highlands of Scotland that collect UFO debris?"

"Can't say it was a part of my general knowledge, no."

"Well, now you know."

"It's good information to have."

"I think I might believe in aliens a little."

"Cheryl, no."

"Not weird green things with long fingers and bulging eyes. Surely we can't be the only life forms in the universe."

"I hope for the sake of the other life forms that they don't find us."

"Ha, we'd blast them to pieces, wouldn't we?"

"Definitely."

"There's a theory that there are already aliens living among us."

"Cheryl, are you trying to tell me something?"

"Toni, I'm an alien."

"So am I."

"Will you... Toni, will you be the Xenomorph to my E.T.?"

"Cheryl, I'd be the luckiest woman alive."

"G-goo-ood. Oh, sorry. Yawning."

"Are you going to bed?"

"No-ot if you want to talk."

"Go to bed, Cheryl."

"Fine. You too. School tomorrow."

"Pft. Sure, babe."

"..."

"Cheryl? Ooo, are you going to sleep talk with me again? ... No? Damn. Goodnight, Moony."

[Call Disconnected]


	15. Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made Penelope a chill mom bc Cheryl DESERVED BETTER

Monday AM

(10:25) -Toni-  
Remember when I called Sweetpea a blabbermouth?

(10:28) -Cheryl-  
Apparently I didn't remember it the first time, but I got it the second time around.

(10:30) -Toni-  
My history class has just been informed that I got arrested on the weekend.

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
Ah. Not good?

(10:34) -Toni-  
It's kinda funny, actually. It's not unusual for anyone of us to face run-ins with the law but

(10:34) -Toni-  
He told them I ran over an old lady.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
That's not funny, TT, that's manslaughter.

(10:38) -Toni-  
People believe it, though.

(10:38) -Toni-  
Ha, a new game has started.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
I don't like the sound of this.

(10:40) -Toni-  
Who can tell the most outlandish lie for my arrest and have people believe it?

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
I'm betting Jughead will win.

(10:43) -Toni-  
Why Jug?

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
His artistic flair.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Haha, he'll be happy to hear that.

(10:45) -Toni-  
But it's also maybe not good.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Won't it add to your punk rock cred?

(10:48) -Toni-  
Yeah, but it'll also reach some big ears.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Relatives?

(10:55) -Toni-  
Yeah.

(10:55) -Toni-  
I don't think my brother will do anything now after that shit he pulled on the weekend but...

(10:56) -Toni-  
Still better if he didn't know.

(10:57) -Toni-  
Mm. I guess we'll see how it goes.

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
You've got people to bail you out if you need it, Toni.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Thanks Bombshell.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Was that a jail joke?

(11:02) -Cheryl-  
Oops. Wasn't meant to be.

(11:03) -Toni-  
You're ridiculous. Subconsciously punning.

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
Punning is a skill I have mastered, apparently, that I don't even require thinking about it.

(11:06) -Toni-  
I don't think I'd call it a skill.

(11:07) -Cheryl-  
It's an expuntise.

(11:08) -Toni-  
That was awful. Truly and Godly awful.

(11:10) -Cheryl-  
I was put on the spot, I'll do better next time.

(11:11) -Toni-  
Please, no, let this reign of terror end!

(11:15) -Cheryl-  
Never. It'll strike you when you least expect it.

(11:18) -Toni-  
How did we get here? How do we get back?

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
There's no turning back now. You have your little game over there, and now I've got my own.

(11:23) -Toni-  
I've unleashed a beast.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Can't tame me now.

(11:26) -Toni-  
I wouldn't dare try. I might get pun-ished.

(11:28) -Cheryl-  
Hey! Hands off my game!

(11:30) -Toni-  
I can play multiple games at one time, Bombshell. Don't underestimate me.

(11:33) -Cheryl-  
May the best punner win, then.

(11:34) -Toni-  
I plun to.

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
That was a reach.

(11:36) -Toni-  
Punt up.

*

Monday PM

(3:12) -Cheryl-  
TONI

(3:14) -Toni-  
Moonstar

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
WHAT IS THIS

(3:15) -Toni-  
I'm gonna need a visual, commander.

(3:16) -Cheryl-  
*1 image attached*

https://res.cloudinary.com/bloomnation/c_pad,d_vendor:global:catalog:product:image.png,f_auto,fl_preserve_transparency,q_auto/v1588656257/vendor/6561/catalog/product/2/0/20180531062138_file_5b103d326b331.jpg

(3:17) -Toni-  
Oh! They got there earlier than I thought. Cool.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
TT, why have you done this.

(3:19) -Toni-  
Thank you! For bailing me out of jail! Also, sorry! That you had to bail me out of jail and ruined our night!

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
I told you, you didn't.

(3:21) -Toni-  
Now, I'm gonna need a visual on how bright your cheeks are right now.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
You're mean! I'm pretty sure I've said this before!

(3:23) -Toni-  
It's also Spring, Bombshell! The season of flowers!

(3:25) -Cheryl-  
My mother has put them in a vase.

(3:27) -Toni-  
Good. They'd look nice on your desk, next to Sheba. Liven up their environment.

(3:30) -Cheryl-  
Ok, there. That's where I've put them.

(3:31) -Toni-  
Good. Hope the chocolates were to your liking, too.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe – yes, TT.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
Thank you.

(3:33) -Cheryl-  
Even though it wasn't necessary.

(3:35) -Toni-  
It was absolutely necessary.

(3:36) -Toni-  
The mental image of you burying your face in your hands is all I ever need in life, to be honest with you Moons.

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
You're so gross.

(3:37) -Toni-  
So are you.

(3:38) -Cheryl-  
Dad is very intrigued by these flowers.

(3:40) -Toni-  
A fan of roses, is he?

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
I didn't even notice. You sent me roses? My family crest is literally a rose. In spring. After blooming:.

(3:45) -Toni-  
That's the point. We don't ever buy any other kinds of flowers now. Just to annoy you

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
You definitely are a bitch.

(3:47) -Toni-  
A bitch who sent you roses and chocolate!

(3:50) -Cheryl-  
No, if asked, these flowers and chocolates came from a distant relative on my mum's side.

(3:53) -Toni-  
Oo, I can do that.

(3:53) -Toni-  
I can play the role of distant relative.

(3:54) -Toni-  
What should my name be? I have a distant relative named Alphard, maybe I could go by that.

(3:55) -Cheryl-  
That's not necessary.

(3:58) -Toni-  
What's my backstory? Why haven't I made contact until now?

(3:58) -Toni-  
Oh shit, look at the time. Fangs is gonna kill me. Crunch time for training again, I'll talk to later, my distant nephew!

(4:00) -Cheryl-  
Send me money next time, uncle.

*

(6:32) -Cheryl-  
So your name is Alphard, you're my second-great-uncle thrice removed who only just discovered that I existed. You have no spouse, no children, nor a telephone. You like your privacy and the sentimentality of hand written letters. You farm sheep and in your spare time and you like to knit from their wool. Next time, you're going to send me a sweater.

*

(7:26) -Toni-  
Cher, I know for a fact that you don't need any more sweaters.

*

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
One can never have too many sweaters.

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Also, I'm glad that was your only issue with the back story.

(8:06) -Toni-  
Sheep sound cool. I'll have to brush up on my sheep farming knowledge, though.

(8:09) -Cheryl-  
Only if you decide I'm going to inherit the business when you die.

(8:11) -Toni-  
I'll remember to write it into my will.

(8:13) -Cheryl-  
We only just discovered each other and you're already writing me into your will?

(8:15) -Toni-  
What can I say, you have a strong influence.

(8:15) -Toni-  
You seem like a reliable enough young man to take over my farm.

(8:16) -Cheryl-  
I don't know the first thing about farming.

(8:19) -Toni-  
I'll teach you, nephew, don't worry.

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
I'm telling my mum about your new role.

(8:23) -Cheryl-  
She likes your commitment. Thinks it's very amusing.

(8:25) -Toni-  
She just needs to wait and see what else I can do.

(8:28) -Cheryl-  
I'm a little scared to ask what you mean.

(8:29) -Toni-  
😏

(8:30) -Cheryl-  
I told you, no emojis.

(8:33) -Toni-  
But it keeps me mysterious.

(8:34) -Cheryl-  
You're already my estranged uncle, how much more mystery do you need.

(8:35) -Toni-  
More. More mystery.

(8:37) -Toni-  
Why aren't I married?

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
To stay dedicated to the farm, of course.

(8:40) -Toni-  
Wow, I must really love these sheep.

(8:41) -Cheryl-  
And knitting. Don't forget your knitting.

(8:45) -Toni-  
Don't worry, Cheryl, you'll get your damn sweater.

(8:47) -Cheryl-  
Just making sure.

(8:50) -Toni-  
I gotta help Pea with his History essay. He's almost crying.

(8:51) -Cheryl-  
History makes me cry too, only for different reasons.

(8:54) -Toni-  
?

(8:55) -Cheryl-  
You're doing French revolution, right? Marie Antoinette didn't deserve this.

(8:56) -Toni-  
Can I quote that in Sweets' essay? I'll source you.

(8:58) -Cheryl-  
If it helps his argument, go right ahead.

(8:59) -Toni-  
Thanks, Bombshell. I'll talk to you later.

(9:00) -Cheryl-  
Have fun essay writing.

*

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

*

(11:43) -Toni-  
Good night, Cheryl.

*

Tuesday AM

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
Did you honestly to go bed at midnight?

(8:05) -Toni-  
Essay writing is hard work. Especially when it's due the next day.

(8:06) -Cheryl-  
Wasn't even your essay.

(8:09) -Toni-  
What are friends for.

(8:10) -Toni-  
That's a lie, he owes me now.

(8:11) -Cheryl-  
Once again, I fear for Jordan.

(8:13) -Toni-  
Ill make an oath here for you, then.

(8:14) -Toni-  
I won't make Sweets do anything life threatening.

(8:15) -Cheryl-  
That's... all the reassurance you're going to give me?

(8:17) -Toni-  
Sometimes, you just ask for too much.

(8:20) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to do hourly check ups on Jordan to make sure he's doing ok.

(8:21) -Toni-  
That's so unnecessary.

*

(8:22) -Cheryl-  
Jordan, how are you faring?

(8:23) -Sweetpea-  
I'm doing okay! Toni just gave me the rest of her juice box , and now she's patting me on the head.

(8:26) -Cheryl-  
Is she threatening you to write these messages?

(8:29) -Sweetpea-  
Not yet.

(8:30) -Sweetpea-  
Gotta go, thank you Guardian Angel Moony.

(8:31) -Cheryl-  
Best of luck.

*

(8:34) -Toni-  
I literally just had to remind Sweetpea that you're MY girlfriend. And that your bestie Veronica is HIS.

(8:34) -Toni-  
Honestly, the little fucker.

*

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
Are you still alive?

(9:13) -Sweetpea-  
Yeah, but really, I think if you keep messaging me I might not be.

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
You just have to be more subtle. This is for your benefit, after all.

(9:17) -Sweetpea-  
Haha, stupid bitch got in trouble trying to chew me out.

(9:17) -Cheryl-  
Changed my mind, this is fun.

*

(9:19) -Toni-  
Taaaalk to meeeee

(9:20) -Cheryl-  
Can you confirm Jordan's status of being alive?

(9:21) -Toni-  
Yeah, the little rat's breathing. For now.

(9:22) -Cheryl-  
If anything happens to him, you have me to answer to.

(9:24) -Toni-  
FINE I WON'T KILL HIM.

*

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Status?

(10:35) -Toni-  
Smiling smugly.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Good, good.

*

(10:36) -Toni-  
Get a room, you two.

*

Tuesday MIDDAY

(11:45) -Toni-  
I got ambushed.

(11:46) -Cheryl-  
It's about time Sweetpea fought back.

(11:46) -Toni-  
Not Sweetpea...

(11:46) -Toni-  
Malachai cornered me.

(11:47) -Cheryl-  
Oh. About what happened on Sunday?

(11:47) -Toni-  
Yeah

(11:48) -Toni-  
He looked, idk, like he was worried?

(11:48) -Toni-  
About me? Which is weird.

(11:48) -Toni-  
Why does he give a shit.

(11:50) -Cheryl-  
Because he cares about you, still?

(11:50) -Toni-  
Yeah, yeah. Maybe.

(11:51) -Toni-  
He said he won't tell Satan's Bitches, but he can't guarantee the cousins won't.

(11:52) -Cheryl-  
Toni, it sounds like he still wants to be apart of your life.

(11:53) -Goni-  
I know, but we'll see if I want him there or not. He did try and kill my friends,Saturday.

(11:53) -Cheryl-  
Well, no, he didn't actually do any of the punching. What else did he say?

(11:55) -Toni-  
He says thanks, for looking after me.

(11:58) -Cheryl-  
Um, he's welcome?

(11:59) -Toni-  
We're meeting up on Saturday.

(11:59) -Toni-  
I agreed if he paid for lunch.

(12:02) -Cheryl-  
Why are you so cheap?

(12:03) -Toni-  
I think it's a small price he's paying. 

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
Probably.

(12:04) -Cheryl-  
Are you ok going out with him? If you need support, or anything, I can come.

(12:06) -Toni-  
AW MOONY.

(12:06) -Cheryl-  
What?

(12:07) -Toni-  
YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

(12:07) -Cheryl-  
You're exaggerating! Shut up!

(12:08) -Toni-  
You're such a gentlewoman, my heart is melting!

(12:09) -Cheryl-  
I'm retracting my offer.

(12:11) -Toni-  
It'll be alright, Moony. Thank you.

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
Always

(12:12) -Cheryl-  
I have to get back to work. Are you alright, really?

(12:15) -Toni-  
I am, Cheryl. I have a slight migraine that I'm naming Malachai but I'm alright.

(12:16) -Cheryl-  
Do tell me if you're not. Let me help.

(12:17) -Toni-  
I will, babe.

(12:17) -Toni-  
Just... promise you'll kiss above my right eye next time we see each other.

(12:17) -Cheryl-  
That sounds manageable.

(12:17) -Toni-  
Ok. Go get some work done.

(12:18) -Cheryl-  
Hey, you too!

(12:19) -Toni-  
Psh, sure.

*

(12:20) -Sweetpea-  
I'm ALSO ok, thanks for checking up!!!!!

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Oh right, you.

(12:20) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, good.

(12:21) -Sweetpea-  
You suck at your job.

*

(1:02) -Toni-  
I had to leave class because my head hurts so bad.

(1:03) -Toni-  
Ugh, the screen is too bright.

(1:03) -Toni-  
I'm going to nap.

(1:04) -Cheryl-  
I'll be here when you wake up, love.

(1:04) -Cheryl-  
Sleep well.

*

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to bed, but call me if you need to.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
Good night.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
xx

*

Wednesday AM

[Answer: Toni]

"Mmmmm?"

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yes. Just give me two seconds."

"Good morning."

"Good morning. How are you?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Toni."

"Really, Moony. I am fine. Yesterday was just... I don't know, it just stirred up old emotions, I guess."

"How's your head?"

"Doped up on sleep and painkillers. Should be alright."

"Good. Good, ok."

"It still needs kisses, though."

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten."

"Text kisses don't count, just so you know."

"Hm? Text kisses?"

"You sent x's in your text last night."

"Oh, right. Well. That was just-"

"The cutest."

"Too early for this nonsense!"

"Yeah, I should get ready for breakfast."

"Mkay. Eat well. Hugs and kisses."

"X and O to you too, love."

[Call Disconnected]

*

(11:34) -Betty-  
You're gonna help me move them, right?

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
No, sorry. Apparently my touch is 'not delicate enough'.

(11:37) -Betty-  
You're really upset but that, huh.

(11:40) -Cheryl-  
Well, no actually. Because it meant that I didn't have to bake with you.

(11:41) -Betty-  
But now you're using it as an excuse to not help me.

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
Precisely!

(11:45) -Betty-  
Cheryl Blossom you are obliged by the best-friend-cousin-code to help me transport the delicious and fluffy desserts I made.

(11:48) -Cheryl-  
Fine, when?

(11:48) -Cheryl-  
I'm busy today.

(11:50) -Betty-  
It starts at two. Come over at one?

(11:51) -Cheryl-  
Fine, fine. I have to go to the library at three to return some books though, and babysit June and Dag.

(11:52) -Betty-  
You'll be done by then. But then you're mine again at 4:30

(11:55) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I know, I know.

(11:56) -Cheryl-  
Will you release me for my last one hour of freedom now?

(11:57) -Betty-  
Hm... I'll allow it. This time.

*

Wednesday PM

(3:34) -Cheryl-  
I hate animals.

(3:36) -Toni-  
You don't mean that, for sure.

(3:37) -Cheryl-  
This goat has been trying to eat my pants for ten minutes. Relentlessly.

(3:39) -Toni-  
Um. When did you get a goat? And where can I get one?!(for research purposes Ofc)

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
Oh

(3:40) -Cheryl-  
I'm at Betty's school fair.

(3:45) -Toni-  
School fair! That's so cool!

(3:47) -Cheryl-  
Sure, but right now I'm in charge of two ginger children and a goat.

(3:49) -Toni-  
I can't imagine which one is harder to handle.

(3:51) -Cheryl-  
I can't tell either. Both are trying my patience.

(3:53) -Cheryl-  
Ok! Juniper just tried to ride the cow! We're going!

(3:54) -Toni-  
Are you kidding?! Let the kid go! That's so cool!

(3:56) -Cheryl-  
She would take off with it. Shes an animal person. The cow was very willing to let her on.

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
We're getting hotdogs now.

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
At 4:30 I promised Betty I'd help man her stall.

(3:59) -Toni-  
What's she doing?

(4:00) -Toni-  
It's not a kissing booth, is it?

(4:01) -Cheryl-  
Yes, it's a kissing booth, that I have very voluntarily agreed to take part in. Because I love kissing strangers. For money.

(4:02) -Toni-  
You didn't make me pay.

(4:03) -Cheryl-  
Don't imply you were a stranger!

(4:03) -Cheryl-  
It's cupcakes. Thankfully, she didn't make me bake them with her this time.

(4:04) -Cheryl-  
The children insist on playing games, I'll talk to you later.

(4:05) -Toni-  
Win me a teddy bear!

*

(4:46) -Cheryl-  
That stuff is only romantic if you're here too.

(4:47) -Toni-  
You're just saying that because you didn't win.

(4:47) -Cheryl-  
The games are surprisingly hard.

(4:48) -Toni-  
Suuuuuuuure, Moony. That's ok, I'll win you something next time.

(4:49) -Cheryl-  
There's a raffle here for a car. Win me that.

(4:50) -Toni-  
I dunno, you're driving abstract is less than satisfactory.

(4:51) -Cheryl-  
Love, you're not one to talk.

(4:51) -Toni-  
Shut up!

(4:51) -Toni-  
Alright, break is over. Back to football.

(4:52) -Cheryl-  
Oh no, don't leave me here! I have to do customer service!

(4:53) -Cheryl-  
Toni?

(5:01) -Cheryl-  
Someone just insisted that I take off all the sprinkles! I can't do this!

*

(5:33) -Cheryl-  
I hate animals, and people.

(5:35) -Cheryl-  
This guy just bought a cupcake and smashed it in his fist?! And then walked away? So glad Betty wasn't here, she'd be livid.

*

(5:50) -Cheryl-  
So Betty's concept is that certain cupcakes will give you certain luck.

(5:50) -Cheryl-  
Like, this cupcake with lemon flavouring will bring you good health.

(5:53) -Cheryl-  
Except this is a high school fair, and teenagers are dickheads.

(5:54) -Cheryl-  
This guy bought one of every kind of cupcake and ate them all in one mouthful, claiming he will now be invincible.

(5:55) -Cheryl-  
No, sorry, his words were, "Now I'm fucking immortal."

(6:03) -Toni-  
I told ya Moons, you really didn't miss out on not going to high school.

(6:03) -Cheryl-  
I can clearly see that now. I'm pretty sure there are some intoxicated students here.

(6:05) -Toni-  
Still wanna be a teacher?

(6:06) -Cheryl-  
Yes, so I can knock some sense into them.

(6:07) -Toni-  
Such a wet blanket.

(6:08) -Cheryl-  
Am not! There's a difference between fun and being a tool.

(6:08) -Toni-  
Not that you would know.

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
Ouch! How rude!

(6:15) -Cheryl-  
This little boy just bought a fairy cupcake in the hopes that it would turn him into a fairy.

(6:15) -Toni-  
Bet you wanted to knock some sense into him, too.

(6:16) -Toni-  
Fairies aren't real, little boy.

(6:17) -Cheryl-  
I would not! I wouldn't crush children.

(6:18) -Toni-  
Wait, if you were a teacher, what grade would you teach?

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
Not primary. Too exhausting.

(6:20) -Cheryl-  
My small stint with Juniper and Dagwood has left me exhausted, and that was only an hour and a bit.

(6:22) -Toni-  
I don't know what the fuck a Juniper or Dagwood is, but Jellybean is a handful. Love her, but God, if I have to babysit her one more time I might actually cry

(6:24) -Toni-  
She's an adorable, gentle girl. Besides being a little....excitable about electronic devices.

(6:25) -Cheryl-  
Electronic devices?

(6:27) -Toni-  
Breaking apart toasters to see how they work. It's a small hobby of her's.

(6:29) -Cheryl-  
Just don't let her stick a fork in there.

(6:29) -Toni-  
I... honestly wouldn't put it past her.

(6:32) -Cheryl-  
Betty is back, I have company.

(6:33) -Toni-  
Oh, so you don't need me anymore?

(6:35) -Cheryl-  
Precisely. Go away.

(6:36) -Toni-  
Do you even like me?

*

(7:24) -Cheryl-  
You're ok.

(7:30) -Toni-  
You took way too long to reply.

(7:31) -Cheryl-  
I was busy. Going back to Betty's now.

(7:32) -Toni-  
I've been sulking.

(7:32) -Cheryl-  
That doesn't surprise me.

(7:35) -Toni-  
☹️☹️☹️☹️

(7:36) -Cheryl-  
Stop! With the faces!

(7:36) -Cheryl-  
Fine, I'm sorry, I like you a lot.

(7:37) -Toni-  
Good, thanks Bombshell!

*

(8:02) -Cheryl-  
Hang on, you never said it back!

(8:03) -Toni-  
Ughhhhh, do I haaaave to?

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
It's only fair.

(8:05) -Toni-  
I like you a lot, too.

(8:06) -Cheryl-  
Good, thanks TT.

*

(11:42) -Toni-  
Hey, hey, are you awake?

(11:43) -Cheryl-  
I am now.

(11:43) -Toni-  
I really like you.

(11:44) -Cheryl-  
I really like you too.

(11:45) -Toni-  
Good night, Moony.

(11:46) -Cheryl-  
Night, Cha-Cha.

*

Thursday AM

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
It's so satisfying watching someone get ready for school, while I'm still laying in bed.

(7:04) -Toni-  
You're like Fangs when he's sick. Just sits in bed and brags about how he's going to have such a long day bundled in blankets.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
It's a good feeling.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
Even though socks are being thrown at me.

(7:07) -Toni-  
You deserve it.

(7:08) -Cheryl-  
Probably, but they're dirty socks. That's too far, in my humble opinion.

(7:08) -Toni-  
Be thankful she's not throwing shoes.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
She's making me have breakfast with her.

(7:11) -Cheryl-  
We're not allowed to eat in the bedroom.

(7:11) -Toni-  
Just get up like the rest of us, Moony.

(7:12) -Cheryl-  
But I'm tiiiiiiired.

(7:13) -Cheryl-  
Ah! I mentioned that at least she wasn't throwing shoes at me and now she is! I made a mistake.

(7:13) -Cheryl-  
I'm getting up.

(7:14) -Toni-  
Good! You say she lives with her parents, right? How great of a breakfast must that be! Married suburban people seem... like the pancake and OJ type people

(7:14) -Cheryl-  
Actually, they only have cereal here.

(7:15) -Cheryl-  
I was disappointed the first time, too.

(7:16) -Toni-  
Can't always be what people expect of you, I guess.

(7:16) -Cheryl-  
Unfortunately not. I'm getting death stares for texting.

(7:17) -Toni-  
Ok, I'll leave you to your... cereal.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
Gee, thank you for your enthusiasm.

(7:18) -Toni-  
Enjoy your cereal, I'm going to have eggs and bacon now.

(7:18) -Cheryl-  
What did I do to upset you.

(7:20) -Toni-  
Yum yum, eggies and bacon.

(7:20) -Cheryl-  
Leave me alone now.

*

(8:01) -Toni-  
Maaaaaaan those eggs and bacon were good.

(8:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm ignoring you.

*

Thursday PM

Dearest Nephew,

I hope you are well. I, myself, in all of my bachelor glory, am doing splendidly. My sheep, also, are doing super swell. We're just constantly on a rollercoaster of partying, sheep are such wild animals, but they're also shivering. They miss their wool, but I just love knitting so much. Knitting fuels me with a fire that burns hotter than any man, woman, neither, both, or combination of the four, can ignite.

I used to be lonely, all on my bachelor own, but then I saw the light. Sheep are my true companions.

Shit, wait, don't get the wrong idea, Nephew Of Mine. I'm not... me and the sheep, we're just friends, I swear. Nothing weird going on here. Not at all.

Despite this fire knitting brings me, technically, literally, it's goddamn cold. I keep making all of these sweaters and then giving them away to nephews! Please send firewood. We're so cold. There's no heating up here in the

(we didn't previously decide where Alphard lived, so I'm just gonna make it up now)

In the Scottish Highlands.

(seems like the kind of place Alphy the sheep-fuckerlover would hang out, right? secluded and all that)

Anyway, hope you're doing well. Like I totally am. And my sheep. My sheep, Malachai, is doing wonderfully. I gave him a stupid haircut. He looks like a dick. Anyway, anyway, anyway.

Have a good day, Dearest Nephew. Please write soon. I need something to burn.

Love,  
Your Uncle Alphard  
The Hottest Scottish Bachelor

*

(3:41) -Cheryl-  
I get the vague feeling that you didn't like that Alphard wasn't married.

(3:44) -Toni-  
Am I not a hot stud, Bombshell? Why wouldn't I be married.

(3:46) -Cheryl-  
Because you're not actually Alphard.

(3:49) -Toni-  
I feel like I embodied the character well!

(3:50) -Toni-  
Did the sweater arrive, too?

(3:57) -Cheryl-  
It did. This is not a new sweater.

(4:01) -Toni-  
No, I admit, its not.

(4:02) -Cheryl-  
It's also not likely to be hand made.

(4:04) -Toni-  
You overestimate my skill set.

(4:06) -Cheryl-  
This most likely belonged to you.

(4:09) -Toni-  
Most likely? Sheesh, I wouldn't send you Jugs' sweater. That's just weird.

(4:11) -Cheryl-  
Do you have a thing for me in your clothes?

(4:15) -Toni-  
Hey!

(4:15) -Toni-  
If you don't like the sweater, then send it back!

(4:17) -Cheryl-  
You totally do!

(4:18) -Toni-  
That's it, give it back.

(4:20) -Cheryl-  
No.

(4:21) -Toni-  
Give me the sweater.

(4:26) -Cheryl-  
No, you can't have it back.

(4:26) -Cheryl-  
It was sent to me by my dear estranged uncle.

(4:30) -Toni-  
Your uncle is creepy.

(4:34) -Cheryl-  
He has questionable relationships with sheep, I admit. But his sweater is big and warm.

(4:36) -Toni-  
So you'll complain about the sweater, but you'll still wear it?!

(4:40) -Cheryl-  
Who ever said I was complaining? I was just asking a question.

(4:45) -Toni-  
Ok, but I'm pleading the fifth.

(4:46) -Cheryl-  
Saying nothing is just as well as saying yes.

(4:47) -Toni-  
Interpret it however you want! The fact is that I haven’t given you an answer!

(4:50) -Cheryl-  
You're a mushy sentimentalist who likes me in your clothes!

(4:51) -Toni-  
Im saying nothing!

(4:54) -Cheryl-  
You're cute.

(4:56) -Toni-  
You're giving me an early death.

(4:58) -Cheryl-  
This is better. Usually I'm the one being tormented.

(5:04) -Toni-  
I'm plotting payback as we speak.

(5:05) -Cheryl-  
I suddenly have to go! Good-bye Toni!

(5:06) -Toni-  
Coward!

*

(9:02) -Cheryl-  
Can I call you?

(9:03) -Toni-  
Of course.

[Calling: Toni]

"Hey. Everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. Just... wanted to talk to you."

"Ok. Hang on, let me go somewhere devoid of eavesdropping friends."

"I can hear their indignation in the background."

"They promise they won't tease, but I don't trust them."

"Such little faith in your friends."

"It's because I know them like the back of my hand. I won't be tricked."

"It sounds like fun. I've probably said, but it's like having a sleepover with your friends every day."

"It is, until you learn all of their gross habits."

"Like spitting phlegm into a bucket?"

"Uh... Can't say they do that regularly. I was more thinking clipping their toenails in each other’s trailers."

"Alright, that is gross. So I guess, in comparison, phlegm is nothing?"

"Phlegm means nothing to me. I will fight all phlegm."

"Ok, but can you wait for it to exit my body before you fight it? You might cause me damage otherwise."

"Of course, Moony. Do you really think I'd be that cruel, to hurt an innocent bystander?"

"Well, your driving skills seem to suggest-"

"When are you going to drop that?"

"Never, I think. My last words will probably be a critique of your driving abilities."

"Not how much I've meant to you and how much you'll miss me in the afterlife?"

"No, no. Just how shit you are at driving."

"This is honestly so heartbreaking, Moony. It's like you don't even care."

"Hmm... I'm wearing your sweater right now. Does that count as caring?"

"What was the phrase you used? Mushy sentimentalist?"

"Yes, but I am willing to admit that."

"Are you really? I'll remember that."

"I'm having regrets."

"If you hadn't had any regrets by now Moony, I would have been worried."

"You expected my regrets from agreeing to this arrangement?"

"Yea – hang on, did you just call our relationship an arrangement?"

"I did, but I see now that it was the wrong word. Arrangement suggests I'm getting something out of it."

"You're getting clothes. A lot of clothes, actually."

"Hm, that is true."

"It's me that's lacking."

"I'd send you clothes, but there would be a high chance that I would just get them back."

"Why won't you let this go?"

"Two things I won't let go, TT. Your driving and your clothes sharing."

"Not the fact that I literally killed your goldfish?"

"I thought we were pinning that on Jordan?"

"I'm pretty much an accomplice after the fact. I mean, I tried to cover it up."

"Well, at least it shows that in the event that I accidentally kill someone, you'll be there to back me up."

"That's... Actually probably true."

"You're either a natural liar or loyal."

"Or, a murderer living vicariously."

"You don't strike me as the murder type."

"Really?"

"No, not unless it was for revenge."

"Are you writing up a criminal profile on me?"

"If you ever wrong me, then I'll have something to give to the police."

"Blackmail."

"Mhm."

"Such a loving person you are."

"Mm, you know me."

"You sound tired."

"Don't I always?"

"Ok, you sound more tired than usual."

"Might be... because 'm falling..."

"F-falling? Like, what, exactly?"

"Asleep."

"Oh. Right. Yeah."

"You ok?"

"Yeah, duh. Go to sleep, Moony."

"Already am, TT."

"Good night."

[Call Disconnected]

*

Friday AM

(9:27) -Toni-  
So, Sweetpea got a passing mark for his history essay.

(9:28) -Cheryl-  
I feel like there should be a 'but' here.

(9:29) -Toni-  
BUT he does have to have a meeting with the teacher after class to discuss appropriate references.

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
What on earth did you two reference?

(9:30) -Cheryl-  
Horrible Histories?

(9:31) -Toni-  
You, of course!

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Me?

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
Oh, no, you didn't honestly...

(9:33) -Toni-  
“According to historians, Marie-Antoinette 'didn't deserve this,' as she was executed in 1793 for treason."

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
I don't want to know what the bibliography said.

(9:35) -Toni-  
Are you sure? It was properly formatted.

(9:35) -Toni-  
Blossom, CH 2014, 'Texts to Toni', iPhone, Network CA.

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
Oh, God. And Sweetpea still passed?

(9:38) -Toni-  
Hey, the rest of the essay was good!

(9:40) -Cheryl-  
Well, forgive me for being skeptical!

(9:41) -Toni-  
You have no faith, Bombshell.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Oh! Speaking of faith!

(9:42) -Cheryl-  
I don't like where this is going.

(9:42) -Toni-  
Are you busy this evening?

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
... Define busy.

(9:46) -Toni-  
Are you leaving your house for some super important engagement?

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
No, not currently, but I get the feeling I'm going to suddenly make up an excuse saying I am.

(9:48) -Toni-  
Why don't you want to see your girlfriend, Bombshell?

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
It's not that I don't want to see her, it's just that I'm always wary of her plans.

(9:51) -Toni-  
It's nothing insane, you can trust her.

(9:54) -Cheryl-  
Can I? There's no law-breaking, is there?

(9:55) -Toni-  
No law-breaking. Uh, maybe some blasphemy, though.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
... What the hell, TT?

(9:58) -Toni-  
Well, by traditional standards it might not be the done thing. But we owe it to them.

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
I am very confused now. You're not propositioning me?

(10:02) -Toni-  
Proposi

(10:02) -Toni-  
HAHA CHERYL. NO.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
It is the only time anyone ever uses the word 'blasphemy,' ok?

(10:04) -Toni-  
Sure, sure. Get your mind out of the gutter.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
That's what I usually say to you.

(10:06) -Toni-  
And look how the tables have turned. So, anyway, you available tonight?

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Sure, I guess. Tell me then, what are we doing?

(10:08) -Toni-  
We're going to hold a memorial service.

(10:08) -Cheryl-  
For my sanity?

(10:10) -Toni-  
For Sheba!

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
I just checked the fish bowl, wondering what you had done now, until I realised you meant the first one.

(10:11) -Toni-  
Yes, I meant the first one! We haven't done anything to commemorate them.

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
That's because... they're a fish. Were a fish.

(10:14) -Toni-  
They may be in a kitty's belly, Moony, but they will always be a fish.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
And they will forever swim in your heart, I know.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Hey, that was actually pretty good. I'm adding it.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Adding it to what?

(10:17) -Toni-  
The eulogy I'm going to give.

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
This can't be serious

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
This isn't real.

(10:21) -Toni-  
Guess you could say it was sea-real

(10:22) -Toni-  
Get it? Sea-real, surreal?!!

(10:23) -Cheryl-  
Stop this immediately.

(10:26) -Toni-  
Wait until you hear the eulogy, Moons.

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
This is how I'm going to spend my Friday night?

(10:27) -Cheryl-  
Don't you have training?

(10:28) -Toni-  
Oh, come on. What do you usually do on a Friday night?

(10:29) -Toni-  
And Fangs is letting us rest today.

(10:30) -Cheryl-  
I'd usually be watching a very nice movie that isn't about dead fish.

(10:31) -Toni-  
Don't like Finding Nemo then, huh?

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
Let's not go there. It's a cry-fest.

(10:35) -Toni-  
So meet me at the Hogsmeade Botanical gardens, 4pm?

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Fine, ok.

(10:37) -Toni-  
Yes! Perfect!

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
This isn't going to be counted as a date, is it?

(10:39) -Toni-  
Why not?

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
It's a bit depressing. Second date at a funeral.

(10:41) -Toni-  
Not even a funeral. We have no body. A memorial.

(10:42) -Toni-  
Grief can bring us closer.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
You're hitting on me through the death of a goldfish? That's low.

(10:44) -Toni-  
We don't want to be like those parents who divorce after the death of a kid! We need to come together.

(10:45) -Toni-  
A nice stroll through the botanical gardens while commemorating a dear friend will help with that.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
This is incredible.

(10:46) -Toni-  
But you're not saying no.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
No, I'm not. I'll be there.

(10:49) -Toni-  
Good. Don't forget to wear black!

(10:50) -Cheryl-  
Good grief.

*

Friday PM

(3:58) -Toni-  
I'm waiting!

(3:58) -Cheryl-  
You're early.

(3:58) -Toni-  
By two minutes. You here yet?

(3:59) -Cheryl-  
Just about. Main gate?

(3:59) -Toni-  
Yeah – haha, I see youuuuu

*

"Nice outfit," Toni said as soon as Cheryl was within earshot, a smirk on her face and arms wrapped tightly around her torso

It looked like Cheryl had trouble finding anything suitably black, her jeans looking well worn and rolled up at the cuff, which Toni suspected was because they were too short for her long legs. Her jacket, on the other hand, looked far too big for her for it to even be fashionable, hanging off her frame like a heavy burden. 

"Shut up," Cheryl replied with no real bite. "Had to borrow one of my dad's jackets. And these jeans are way too short."

Toni, in her all-black outfit that she picked from whatever was lying on the floor, frowned at her. "You mean you don't own black clothes?"

Cheryl rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were twitching into a smile and Toni didn't stop herself from holding out her hand. Cheryl took it easily.

"You know me, I live in neon colours. Though I do love...” the redhead motioned flippantly to the serpent’s outfit “Leather and mesh aesthetic."

Toni beamed, tugging at the black shirt clinging to her body with little resistance.

Their walk through the gardens was quiet. Every now and then Toni would feel a light touch on her head, Cheryl’s hand retracting to flick away a fallen leaf.

"Did you prepare a speech?" Toni asked her as they passed under a willow, it's reaching branches caressing their faces, swinging their joint hands and spinning the redhead, eliciting a soft giggle from her

Cheryl screwed up her face. "No," she said. "I was thinking I should wing it. Makes it more from the heart, that way."

Toni snorted. "I don't believe you're taking this as sincerely as you should."

Cheryl gasped, holding a hand over her chest and grasping at the metal tags. "Are you implying that I'm not taking this fish funeral, dare I say, seriously?"

"You dare not say it!" Toni commanded, albeit with a grin on her face. "Your happy demeanor and flippant attitude suggests that you do not care one bit for our fallen soldier."

Toni tugged on her hand, pulling Cheryl off the man-made path and onto the grass. The ground was still slightly wet from earlier rain, dew clinging to the blades fruitlessly as Toni’s feet sent the drops falling into the air again.

"Fallen soldier?" Cheryl snorted. "What war did they fight in?"

Toni took a beat, seemingly deep in thought. "Did you really think you won the sheep wars without a little back up?"

"And just where are Sheba's dog tags?"

"Lost in the battlefield," Toni said quickly. "It was tragic, we all cried."

Cheryl raised an eyebrow, a smile fighting on her face as she struggled to keep up with Toni’s pace. "Now who's being flippant?"

The ground started to dip downhill. Toni slowed her steps, keeping a firm grip on the pale hand so the clumsy girl didn’t go stumbling all the way to the bottom. Their feet slip slightly on the wet grass, but they make it to the edge of the lake safe.

"I'm allowed to be flippant right now," Toni told her. "For I have a heartfelt speech ready."

"Really," Cheryl said blandly. "I suppose we're doing it here, then?"

The lake wasn't anything special to look at, a murky grey of polluted water edged with dying reeds. The ducks waddling by the bank don't even flinch at their arrival, continuing on their path as if they weren't there. They look old, and as grey as the lake itself, but Toni figured it was the next best place to hold the memorial, keeping in mind the traumatic event at the larger body of water a few minutes away.

"Look," Toni said, disentangling her hand from Cheryl’s to shuffle through her jean pockets. She pulled out a small paper-made boat, puffing it out for it to take on a three dimensional shape, holding it up on her palm proudly. On the inside of the boat is a little drawn fish, it's eyes replaced with x's.

Cheryl took the boat gingerly, trying to suppress a smile as she sternly said, "This is morbid."

Toni faked offense. "It's art!"

She took back the boat, resting it on the bank so only the lips of the lake could kiss the bow, and then took out another piece of paper from her pocket.

The writing on the paper was a messy scrawl, hurriedly written in between periods and work assignments, with parts crossed out angrily and some unhelpful commentary from Jughead.

She cleared her throat theatrically, shaking out the paper in front of her and glancing over at Cheryl. She was still trying to keep in his laughter, and Toni appreciated her level of commitment to playing along.

"Dearly beloved," Toni bellowed. "We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Sheba the goldfish."

Cheryl moved up to stand right beside her, their shoulders pressing into each other. Toni could feel Cheryl’s shoulder shake as she tried to hold in her giggles.

"We'll greatly miss Sheba," Toni continued, "And all of the koi that they brought us. Especially to dear Cheryl, who I passed Sheba to as she would have been drowning in the feel-ing of loneliness without their company. It's a real tragedy what happened to them, with no one sole to blame except the ever-present rivalry between Carassius auratus and Felis catus." Toni paused at her effortless pronunciation, turning to Cheryl for praise.

"You practiced the speech," she said in disbelief.

"Duh," Toni drawled, and then started reading again. "Except maybe Jordan. Jordan is also to blame. And maybe one of the strays, and the government, for allowing homelessness in cats to exist in the first place. What if there’s pregnant cats who need somewhere to sleep? Anyway, Sheba will be greatly missed. They are irreplaceable –"

"You literally replaced them," Cheryl cut in.

"They are irreplaceable," Toni repeated sternly, "And will forever continue to swim in the ocean of our hearts, eternally unburdened by the constraints of a tiny fish bowl."

"Goldfish are fresh water," Cheryl mumbled. "Can't swim in the sea."

Toni sighed exasperatedly, turning a doleful eye on Cheryl. "Like your speech is better."

"What speech?" Cheryl asked innocently, looking to the sky like it would be written in the clouds 

"Exactly."

Toni folded up the paper, slipping it back into her pocket and pulling out a lighter. She crouched in front of the tiny paper boat, ready to flick the spark wheel before craning his neck to look over at Cheryl.

"Any last words?"

"Rest in peace, Sheba," Cheryl said solemnly, folding her hands in front of him and hanging her head.

"Rest in fucking pieces," Toni whispered as she lit the boat on fire, making sure the flames were spreading out before pushing it into the lake. The boat swirled in the light current made by the wind, not going far from the bank. She prodded it with a stick, sending it further in until the paper gave out from the pressure of the fire above it and the water soaking below it.

Not long after, the boat was gone.

Toni rose, turning to Cheryl with a jovial smile that instantly fell as soon as she saw her. Cheryl had her hands on her face, her whole body shaking with strange, muffled cries coming from her mouth.

"Moony?" Toni said, voice soft. "Hey, are you actually crying? I'm sorry about Sheba, Cher –"

Cheryl's hands fell from her face, the first thing Toni taking note of was the streaks of mascara tears down her cheeks, but then she hunched over, hands on her knees, as she laughed, until it turned into coughing.

Toni smacked her lightly on the shoulder. "You scared me! I thought I really traumatised you!"

"N-no," Cheryl said, swiping tears away from under her eyes. "This is so absurd. You're weird!"

Toni was about to take offense before Cheryl leaned against her, linking their hands with her head on the shorter girl’s shoulder. She was still giggling, slightly breathless and clearing her throat constantly, and Toni couldn't help but rub her cheek against the Rose scented locks.

"I haven't laughed like this in years," Cheryl said quietly. Toni stilled, her grip on Cheryl’s hand tightening slightly,placing a kiss to the head resting against her.

"I haven't wanted to make someone laugh like this," Toni said as the realization hit her “Ever."

Cheryl turned her head, looking at Toni with tear-shiny eyes, reminding her of the gently rippling lake water that swallowed Sheba's memorial. Toni wouldn't mind being swallowed up in Cheryl’s eyes, full of mirth and kindness.

Toni tugged at their linked hands, begging Cheryl to follow her through the gardens for their next destination. Toni knew it would be getting dark soon, the chill breeze washing through them a strong indication, not that she minded. Cheryl pulled in closer to her after each wave of cold air, until Toni unlinked their hands and wrapped the taller girl into her side

"Will you be alright in the cold?" Toni asked as they walked.

"Oh, I'm fine," Cheryl replied easily, and Toni believed her

"So you're just using it as an excuse to get close," Toni confirmed. She laughed when Cheryl ducked her head shyly, poking her in the cheek and cooing. "Can't say I'm not impressed, though."

They stopped when they reached the foot of the hill. Toni turned to the redhead, a sly smirk on her face.

"Want me to carry you again?"

Cheryl shook her head profusely. "I can do it this time," and then poked her tongue out at Toni.

They walked slowly up the hill, not in any rush to reach the top, and although the serpent would usually declare a race she figured Cheryl wouldn't appreciate the challenge.

She almost changed her mind when Cheryl asked her if she even knew any other date destinations.

"I'd like to see you pick a place!" Toni exclaimed, throwing her hands wildly. "I'm the one carrying this relationship."

"I went to one of your football games. I'll come to this one too, then."

Toni waved her off. "Nah, it's an away game. Not worth it."

If Toni didn't know any better, she would have thought that Cheryl looked genuinely disappointed.

They finally reached the top, even after Cheryl declared that 'here was close enough' not even half way up, and Toni spread her jacket on the grass for them to sit on.

The sun would be setting over the town soon, giving them a different view from Saturday, and when Cheryl realized what they were doing she gave a derisive snort.  
"This is so cliché,"

"It's romantic," Toni countered. "Just shut up and swoon."

"I'm swooning, I'm swooning," Cheryl mumbled, letting her head fall onto Toni’s shoulder again. Toni let a smile break out on her face, placing a kiss to the crown of her head

They didn't speak as they watched the sun set, the rooftops of Riverdale painted in a gentle hue of orange. The town seemed to glow, and even Toni’s face was alight in marigold that Cheryl couldn't help leaning over and kissing her cheek.

Toni dropped her head, but instead of making a joke like Cheryl expected, she turned fully to face her.. Cheryl herself was fighting a smile back as the shorter girl came closer, stopping just short of connecting their lips.

"So cliché," she mumbled. Toni could feel her breath warm against her skin.

Toni closed the space, pecking Cheryl briefly before pulling back to say, "Just let me seduce you with the sunset."

Cheryl kissed her briefly in turn. "Did I say I was complaining?"

"I don't know, are you?" Toni settled her hand on Cheryl’s neck, his thumb rubbing circles at the hinge of his jaw. "Sounded like you were."

Cheryl sighed heavily, "You talk too much," then closed the gap between them one final time.

Their lips became the central point of heat, blazing out to warm their cheeks and flush their necks, a trail creeping down their spines. Toni couldn’t feel the cold breeze anymore, ignited from the outside in with a warmth in her chest she was sure wasn't purely physical.

Her heart beat faster as Cheryl opened her mouth, shyly flicking her tongue along Toni’s bottom lip. Cheryl’s hand had finally come up to tangle in orange painted locks.

Cheryl drew back slightly, pupils taking up the honey colour, mumbling something Toni didn't catch, and then she was trailing kisses from her chin along her jawline, lips pressed at Toni’s temple and then hovering above her right eye, lips lingering longest there.

"For your migraine named Malachai," Cheryl whispered.

Then she continued, along Toni’s forehead, down her nose and back up again, working on the left side of her face with feather1light kisses. It tickled all over her face, Toni unable to stop the giggles, unable to stop the welling feeling in her chest as the taller girl dragged her hand from Toni’s hair to cup her cheek, thumb stroking the soft skin she found.

Toni was unable to stop the pinpricks of tears that stung her eyes, and she refused to look Cheryl in the face as she burrowed her head into the crook of Cheryl’s neck.

Cheryl was quick to notice, tightening her grip on the serpent girl, “Are you ok?" 

Toni just nodded, placing a small kiss on Cheryl’s neck.  
Cheryl returned her hand to orange painted locks, twirling strands around her fingers and back to scratch at her scalp soothingly. In the darkness of her hideaway, Toni thought about the last time she felt this safe, felt this adored, but it had been years ago, when the Serpents and Jones’ had first welcomed her to her new home; a far bigger world then it was now, muddled with happy drunks and rickety trailers; and not even then had it felt like this. The warmth of Cheryl’s entire body soaking into hers, the feel of her soft hands on Toni’s heated skin and the way her lips felt all over Toni’s face felt infinitely different.

She didn't know in what way, didn't think it mattered in what way just yet, but somehow she knew in that moment as she quietly wept against Cheryl that she loved this girl, would love her until the end of her days. Protecting her from even a crack in the road, and she knew, in the way Cheryl wiped away the tears from Toni's cheeks without a word, that Cheryl loved her too, and it didn't matter to her in what way, just that any way would be enough for her.

She would have said it then, if it didn't also completely terrify her, but then Cheryl was whispering into her ear, comforting words, words sounding like how Toni felt, soothing and sweet and one hundred percent honest.

Toni didn't need to say it. Cheryl probably knew. Anyone with eyes would know.

The sun dipped well below the horizon, completely forgotten by the two girls

*

Toni wasn't used to emotional vulnerability.   
Growing up the runt of the litter assured her that. FP was kind, and nurturing in the way that if she fell and scraped her knees he would probably pat her on the back and tell her to walk it off. She was confident, by all means, and self assured but something about Cheryl threw her off every path she’d ever known.

Now that they had gotten up, and started walking back to Cheryl’s house, Toni began to panic, looking over at the redhead every two seconds to see if she was disgusted yet.

She could see the dark stain on Cheryl’s shirt, but the other girl didn't seem to notice, or care.

When it had started to get too cold, Cheryl pulled back, standing and offering a hand to Toni so they could walk home. She had gratefully accepted her hand, and they hadn't let go since.

That's got to mean something, right? They had hardly spoken, only a short argument where Toni insisted he walk Cheryl home, and Cheryl didn't look like she was eager to get back home, to get away from Toni. If anything, she looked a little dazed, a small smile permanently stuck on her face every time Toni took a glance at her.

When they paused at Cheryl’s neighbours, Cheryl herself looking more than reluctant to leave, Toni assured herself that her emotional outburst hadn't fucked it up, and that Cheryl didn't care. Repeating it over and over like a mantra until she believed it. That’s how she learned to count, so surely it would work for this too.

"My stop," Cheryl cut thru her inner monologue, voice murky with regret.

"Yeah," Toni said, just as reluctant to let Cheryl go, briefly squeezing their still interlaced hands.

"Thanks for the... memorial." Cheryl said, but it sounded more like a question. She smiled shyly, scuffing her shoes on the sidewalk. "Ok, no, thank you for the sunset."

"Thank you for the kissing," Toni teased, and Cheryl sighed, trying to pull away from her

Toni tugged her back and kissed her firmly, about to pull away when Cheryl's hands came up to hold her face still, kissing back with a fervor that in any other circumstance probably would have passed out from.

When Cheryl drew back her breath was coming out short, throwing a few small coughs into the crook of her elbow while Toni kissed the top of her head reassuringly. Then she started shuffling away, walking backwards as long as she could so she could keep looking at the serpent, finally turning around to walk up the cobblestone drive. Toni watched her until her front door was firmly shut. And maybe even until the light in her bedroom flickered on.

Toni danced to a song in her head that was Cheryl’s voice the entire walk back to the Southside.

*

Saturday AM

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
It's your Malachai thing today, isn't it?

(10:35) -Toni-  
Yup, and he insists on meeting on Serpent ground and walking there together. Talk about awkward.

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
You're gonna let him leave alive, right?

(10:38) -Toni-  
I thought you said I wasn't the murdering type.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Unless it was for revenge, I said.

(10:44) -Toni-  
I wouldn't exact revenge for myself, though.

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
No?

(10:50) -Toni-  
Nah. It’s one of the boys’ job. Maybe I’d get you to.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
Oh, marvellous.

(10:51) -Cheryl-  
I think I'll leave it to Cole.

(10:55) -Toni-  
Yeah, you should. He'd be the most competent.

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
I'm trying not to be offended.

(11:01) -Toni-  
You have too much of a conscience.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
I laughed at a memorial.

(11:05) -Toni-  
Ok, you have a WEIRD conscience, but you've got one.

(11:06) -Cheryl-  
And Jughead doesn't? He struck me as the mercy type.

(11:07) -Toni-  
Oh, boy. No way. That guy is all justice.

(11:08) -Cheryl-  
Justice Jones.

(11:10) -Toni-  
Exactly. He told me he'll kick Malachai’s ass if he does anything funny today. Maybe bring his knife too.

(11:14) -Cheryl-  
Oh good, so I don't have to try and make that promise now.

(11:15) -Toni-  
Nah, it's been covered for you. You got lucky.

(11:16) -Cheryl-  
I’ll send Cole flowers and a thank you card.

(11:17) -Toni-  
How are my flowers?

(11:20) -Cheryl-  
Good. New Sheba likes to look at them. I think.

(11:25) -Toni-  
Alright, I'm meeting Chai now.

(11:25) -Cheryl-  
Good luck. I'm right here.

(11:26) -Toni-  
Thanks, Bombshell. Send me kisses again, that was funny.

(11:27) -Cheryl-  
xx fuck you xx

(11:27) -Toni-  
Nice.

*

Saturday MIDDAY

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
How is it going?

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
XxXxX

*

(12:55) -Toni-  
Ok, he's gone to the bathroom so short summary:

(12:56) -Toni-  
Making sure im not acting out against the family by driving recklessly, not acting out against the family by dating a girl, not acting out against the family by ‘swearing my life away to a gang’ in a tattoo (idk how he found out about that one), asking if my arm is ok, asked if I stopped 'smoking or whatever', asked if im doing drugs, asked if I was generally ok

(12:58) -Cheryl-  
So... you're having lunch with your therapist?

(12:59) -Toni-  
Pretty much. But he's

(12:59) -Toni-  
Back, I'll tell you later.

*

Saturday PM

(2:08) -Toni-  
I have been released.

(2:09) -Cheryl-  
Any scars?

(2:10) -Toni-  
Surprisingly not. Ghoulies will be disappointed for having a Serpent a few feet away and not skinning me alive.

(2:10) -Toni-  
He apologized for what he said weeks ago and just wanted to know if I was actually happier being away from the family or if I was being a little shit.

(2:11) -Cheryl-  
You're always a little shit, though.

(2:15) -Toni-  
Thanks, Bombshell. I know.

(2:16) -Toni-  
ANYWAY he said he can't promise that they don't know about the bike thing but they haven't said anything to him yet.

(2:17) -Cheryl-  
Is that a good sign or a bad sign?

(2:19) -Toni-  
A good sign. Not that it really makes a different. Usually when I mess up they love to turn it into a learning experience for Chai. 'Don't end up like Toni, the miserable gang-banging jailbird who got arrested.'

(2:20) -Cheryl-  
Maybe they're waiting to use it for when Malachai messes up.

(2:21) -Toni-  
Malachai doesn't mess up! He's a careful kid. Well, also a leader of the most violent gang in Riverdale but. Yknow. Putting the gangs aside.

(2:22) -Toni-  
So, it wasn't that bad. He asked if we could do it again and I said ok. I know he's just doing what he needs to so it's easier.

(2:25) -Cheryl-  
As long as it makes you happy.

(2:26) -Toni-  
I'm all about the happiness, Moony.

(2:26) -Toni-  
Not that it was all shit before but... Things just seem better now. Recently.

(2:27) -Cheryl-  
I think I know what you mean.

(2:30) -Toni-  
I have to get going. Practice. Talk to you later?

(2:30) -Cheryl-  
I have a check up this afternoon and then going to Betty’s. Maybe not so much.

(2:32) -Toni-  
That's okay, have fun!

(2:32) -Cheryl-  
Have fun with a flying ball of leather going at a fast velocity :)

(2:33) -Toni-  
Well... you know... okay? You’re a weirdo.

(2:34) - Cheryl-  
You love it.

(2:34) - Cheryl-  
*Like it.

*

(7:42) -Toni-  
I keep forgetting to mention!

(7:42) -Toni-  
Juggy’s birthday on Thursday, party at the Jones’. Can you make it?

(7:45) -Cheryl-  
Sure.

(7:45) -Cheryl-  
But I'd have to get him a present.

(7:46) -Cheryl-  
Oh, God, what do I get him?

(7:46) -Toni-  
He's partial to edible g-strings.

(7:47) -Cheryl-  
Uh, no, I don't think so.

(7:49) -Toni-  
Don't get him anything, he's not asking for it.

(7:50) -Cheryl-  
I think having a birthday and then having a party is asking for it.

(7:53) -Toni-  
Just bring yourself. That's the present. And Betty, obviously. 

(7:54) -Cheryl-  
For you, maybe.

(7:55) -Toni-  
And isn't that all that matters? Me?

(7:56) -Cheryl-  
I'll get him a watch.

(7:59) -Toni-  
A watch?

(7:59) -Cheryl-  
It's an adult thing to have.

(8:01) -Toni-  
That's fair enough reasoning. I like it.

(8:04) -Cheryl-  
Ok, we're starting Imagine Me and You. Can't talk, crying.

(8:05) -Toni-  
(so gay)

*

(11:35) -Toni-  
Good night, Cheryl.

(11:39) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

*

Sunday AM

(9:42) -Toni-  
I love away games. I love being on a bus, exploring new schools, intimidating different sets of students.

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
I can't tell if this is sarcastic.

(9:50) -Toni-  
Definitely not!

(9:52) -Toni-  
It's always fun being in new places.

(9:55) -Toni-  
Ok, we're warming up.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Good luck!

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Win this game!

(9:59) -Toni-  
That's the plan, Bombshell! And if I don’t well...

(10:00) -Toni-  
Fangs is the murderer and my body is probably hidden.

*

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
This is awkward. Moody has come over to visit.

(11:03) -Cheryl-  
You and your stupid bike have broken me. I can't look at him. I keep laughing.

(11:04) -Cheryl-  
And he's noticed, too!

(11:05) -Cheryl-  
Oh God no, he's telling the story.

*

(12:32) -Toni-  
We lost, which is a bummer, and Fangs is crying, but at least it wasn't Pea’s fault so we're all alive.

(12:35) -Toni-  
Wait, Moody is telling who about what?!

(12:36) -Toni-  
What happened to confidentiality.

*

(1:00) -Cheryl-  
He told my parents about our weekend, which would have been ok, if he hadn't called you my girlfriend while my dad was right there.

(1:01) -Toni-  
Oh, God.

(1:02) -Toni-  
Are you ok?! What's your dad saying?

(1:02) -Cheryl-  
We're going through a series of lectures atm

(1:03) -Cheryl-  
Started with the girlfriend thing, why didn't I tell him, was I sure, is it a phase

(1:04) -Cheryl-  
Then I was acting out, spending too much time with Betty and Archie, watching too many rom coms.

(1:05) -Cheryl-  
Then I was bored and trying to find something exciting and 'unnatural' because of my illness

(1:06) -Cheryl-  
THEN he finally realised what Moody said and lost it over the fact that you're a criminal.  
And you’re a Serpent.  
And you’re a Topaz.

(1:07) -Cheryl-  
Now he's just yelling about going behind his back and putting myself in danger. Sorry, he said 'more danger.'

(1:08) -Toni-  
Your dad's an idiot.

(1:09) -Cheryl-  
I know, and it's nothing I hadn't expected. He's finally let me go and I'm hiding in my room while he talks about me to mum. I think he’s threatening to send me to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.

(1:11) -Toni-  
I’m... sorry what?

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
Conversion camp but with nuns.   
I'm actually quite relieved he knows now... He's going to be weird about it and probably awful but mum won't let him make into a big deal and send me away. And my Nana would knock him on his ass if he tried. 

(1:14) -Toni-  
Well that's good then. Then at least your Nana and mom arent completely crazy.

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Ok, I'm being summoned again.

(1:15) -Toni-  
Good luck.

(1:15) -Cheryl-  
Send me kisses.

(1:16) -Toni-  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(1:16) -Cheryl-  
Good.   
Alsoooo my dad might find you and try and kill you.  
Anywayyy bye TT!!!

(1:17) - Toni-  
WHAT?!

*

You Have (1) New Friend Request: Betty Cooper

Accept/Decline

Betty Cooper > Toni Topaz

Hey Toni,

Sorry if this is weird. Cheryl got her phone, laptop and probably any paper too in case she tries to reach out via carrier pigeon.  
don't know when she'll get it back. Didn't want you to worry so she called me on the landline, asking me to message you about it.

Basically, she's fine, her dad is just a... let’s go with ‘little ticked off’ and that now she’s getting the usual teenager treatment of being grounded, instead of some crazy camp out in the Swiss Alps where she’ll be forced to like make cheese or some shit.

Oh, and sorry that you lost your game. Jughead sent me some of the shots of you guys today and they’re really awesome.

I don't know how you guys usually end your messages so I'm going to improvise.

xoxo love u lots babe xoxo


	16. The World Has No Place In Our Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER BABYYYY

Monday AM

As soon as she stepped foot on the grounds she knew this was a bad idea.

There were hundreds of students milling about the building, none of them paying any mind to Cheryl as she shifted through them, trying to find some sign or direction to where the girl was. So far all she had found was the teacher's parking lot and the washroom, where a couple were busy lost in each other's mouths and oblivious to Cheryl's embarrassment.

She hoped to find a familiar face, but with all the students in their same tattered clothing, they all pretty much looked the same. Cheryl became so overwhelmed with claustrophobia and a sense of drowning that she would have fallen had not a hand been clapped onto her shoulder at that time.

"Cheryl?" a friendly voice asked, and turning, saw a boy with warm eyes and familiar strong build.

"Kevin," Cheryl sighed with relief, and he smiled and began steering her out of the flood of students.

"Looking for Toni, I'm guessing?"

Cheryl just nodded, allowing herself to be directed into the building and down a long hallway.

"I don't know if she's with Fangs, but if not, he'll probably know where she is."

Cheryl nodded again, resigning herself to the fact that it was too late to turn back now.

He led her through the school, around classes and between throttles of people that Cheryl quickly became lost in the old building. Her first time in a high school. It seemed a lot bigger then she'd ever imagine a small town like Riverdale to have. But it's where anyone below middle class attended, which was more than a chunk of the population. She wouldn't have been able to get back home by herself if she suddenly chickened out now.

Kevin seemed to notice her unease, patting her easily on the shoulder and gripping her sleeve to direct her through the stream of people.

They finally left the school build room, walking down the past the school football field that Cheryl found some reminiscence in, and past numerous kids with cigarettes hanging loosely from their lips; eyes watching her with disdain. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself, and held her breath in passing.

"This place is huge," Cheryl sighed heavily after the heavy cloud of cigarette smoke passed.

Kevin nodded empathetically. "Yeah, I imagine it is when you've never been in a place like this before. Luckily, Southside has tons of good hiding spots."Her winked at her, laughing wholeheartedly at the blush blooming on her cheeks.

They turned one final corner, finally meeting a group of students hovering in small groups near a door that was covered in spray paint. Fangs spotted them immediately, probably looking out for Kevin's arrival, Sweetpea noticing too; landing a big whack on the back when Cheryl came close enough.

Cheryl coughed, "There goes a lung."

Sweetpea grinned. "Oh well, it's not like it was doing good by you anyway."

Cheryl spotted Jughead running up behind Sweetpea, planting his hands on the taller boys' shoulders and jumping behind him. "Hey, Cheryl!"

"Hello."

"You here to see Toni?"

Jughead has a large smile plastered on his face, seeming like a completely different person around the small group he was with. He wielded his camera, snapping a few shots of Cheryl from behind Sweetpea's shoulder.

Cheryl nodded, laughing at his antics, looking around thru the crowd of leather Serpent jackets to find her before Fangs drew her back.

"She's still in class," he said, handing her a bottle of orange juice "Got this for you. I know the smoke was probably a lot," he pursed his lips, Cheryl gratefully taking the bottle and swallowing a mouthful.

"Probably doing her hair," Sweetpea added, swatting at Jughead who kept trying to knock the taller boy over 

Fangs slung an arm around Cheryl's shoulders, and told Kevin that they were probably going to be a little late.

"It's your funeral," he said and pecked him on the cheek before walking to class.

Again, Cheryl allowed herself to be dragged through the, what she assumed, back door that was now piling up with students and teachers. Fangs chattered in her ears about this and that, but Cheryl wasn't really listening, couldn't really listen with all of her own thoughts swimming around in her head.

"Hey," Jughead's voice cut through, shouldering past a couple kids. "You okay?"

Cheryl shrugged. "Things are tense at home at the moment. Didn't really want to be there."

Jughead nodded, also throwing his arm over Cheryl's shoulders, ruffling her ginger hair a bit.

"Toni mentioned," Fangs said. "I swear FP's been crying about empty nesting it soon, so if you needed somewhere to stay I think he just might adopt you into our dysfunctional family."

"I don't think that will be necessary," Cheryl said quickly. "But, um, thank you."

Fangs shrugged. "Here to help! Right, Jug?"

"Right," Jug huffed. Cheryl could see a bead of sweat falling down the side of his face from trying to climb stairs as well as keep his arm around Cheryl. His heavy jacket, flannel hanging around his waist and beanie looking all the more of a heat resource the more they walked.  
She thought about putting the boy out of his misery and detaching herself, but Cheryl quite liked the reassurance, and the dedication Jughead was showing in the action.

When they rounded the corner the hall was deserted, and Cheryl began to worry that they had missed her, that she was sitting in another class wondering where her friends were.

"So, Toni told me you're into photography," Jughead piped up, wiggling his camera excitedly "Oh, hardly. I-I mean I am," she quickly stutter out at the look of confusion on his face "I just... am not very good with it."

"Well, maybe Toni can help ya out," Sweetpea said, suddenly tackling Fangs from the back "Shes pretty good with photography. Her and Jug bonded about it when they were like, 7."

A door to her left opened suddenly, and a mess of a girl with half her shirt on came sprinting out. She was pulling a shirt over her 

head while trying to adjust the jacket around herself but also wedge on a boot. Her head popped out of the green collar before she could collide with them, with Cheryl, and she suddenly stopped in her tracks and stared.

Toni's hair was sticking up at strange angles, the belt around her waist loose and none of her laces were tied, but she stopped in the middle of the hall to stare at Cheryl, her mouth falling open and closing like a fish.

"Cheryl!" She shouted in surprise, but her face read an expression of pure joy. "You're crazy. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was actually on my way to Costco for some milk and got lost. Really, why do you think I'm here? And why are you coming out of a classroom half dressed?" Cheryl crossed her arms defiantly, quirking a brow in question "Steamy extra credit with a teacher?"

The boys snickered, Sweetpea kicking the door open behind Toni to reveal a room lit up by a dull red.   
"Nah, Toni's camera fetish we were talking about. She falls asleep developing photos most of the time."  
Toni twirled around and whacked the boy who threw his hands up in defence "Dont call it a fetish."  
"It's a cool room. I know you're a nerd for that stuff."

"I'm not interested in the building."

"Uh, hi," Jughead cut in, "Hate to interrupt this just- really amazing flirting, but we got a class to get to. So do you, Toni, but I guess that's off the table."

"Anyway, boys," Fangs clapped Cheryl's shoulders again, her wincing at the strange yet increasingly familiar action "We'll leave you two to it."

"Have fun!" Sweetpea cheered as he turned away from them.

"Fangs!" Jughead added, following the two boys.

"Don't touch my photos!" Jughead called from down the hall

"Don't die!" Sweetpea shouted as he turned the corner.

There was a pause, and then a distant echo of Fang's voice, "Don't let the boogeyman get you!"

Then there was silence.

"Let's go inside," Toni said. "I mean. If you're staying."

"Of course I'm staying."

Toni nodded, turning back to the room she came from and waited for Cheryl to follow. Cheryl entered the class first, her eyes adjusting to the sudden darkness of the room, and she could smell a distinct scent of ink and what was assumed to be Toni's perfume.

Her foot caught on something on the floor and she staggered into a desk. She swore under her breath, cursing whatever mysterious object sought to trip her.

"You alright?" Toni's voice came from the darkness. And yet Cheryl could still hear the smirk in her voice.

"What the hell is all over the floor?"

"This and that. Bits and pieces. I guess it's not really, uh, visitor friendly." Toni at least had the decency to sound embarrassed.

"It's like a minefield," Cheryl muttered. "Isn't this a classroom? Why is it so... filled with stuff.

Toni said deliberately, "I kinda made this my own personal hangout."

"Why?"

Cheryl watched Toni's silhouette shuffling around somewhere to the right of the room, throwing items around as she sifted closer to her destination. "Easier then riding back to the trailers just to come back for one class."

"Aren't there other students that need the room?"

"Nah. Southside High is filled with... uh..."

"Underachievers?" 

"Why don't you come over here and say that to my face?"

"I would if I could see you!"

"It's a darkroom not a dungeon!"

"The boys' warnings make sense now," Cheryl said. "I'm very concerned about the hygiene of this place."

Toni stopped shuffling around in the darkness. "Is it... are you going to be ok?"

"What? Oh. Yes, fine. When I say that I mean purely in a germophobe way. I can't see anything but I'm sure there's mold."

"It's a science project" Toni said quickly.

"What?"

"The mold. Don't touch it. It's for science."

"I really hope you're joking. Aha!"

Cheryl found the edge of the windows, and dramatically threw the blackout curtains back to reveal the sunlight of the morning, allowing it to come streaming into the room and cast light on all the rubbish and clothes strewn all over the floor.

"I didn't know we had curtains!" Toni whined. "I thought they just blacked out the windows!"

"You're unbelievable," Cheryl admonished. She felt better now that he could see Toni, unevenly clothed and all. The stress of the last few hours were wearing on Cheryl, and she suddenly felt exhausted, wanting nothing but to curl up in Toni's arms and stay there.

Toni shuffled over to her, her face soft and concerned, her feet sure on the uneven ground. Her ease made Cheryl fully realise, this was Toni's space. Even being in her trailer didn't feel quite as personal. This was her home in the hours between classes. A place no one else went. It made him her warm.

"Everything ok? Well," Toni amended, "I know it's not, really. And this is a surprise. You didn't strike me as the running away type."

A corner of Cheryl's mouth twitched against her will. "M'not running away. Dad's been weird and I didn't want to be around it anymore. I haven't done anything wrong."

"No, you haven't," Toni agreed, but then smirked. "Still. You call me dramatic."

"I'm not running away!" Cheryl laughed, shoving Toni lightly. "That's what Fangs thought, too."

"He's got experience with runaways." Toni shrugged. "FP would be happy to have you."

Cheryl raised an eyebrow. "Have you and Drew discussed this?"

Toni laughed. "No, actually. It's just that FP is always a good option for a quick fix. Or..." Toni smirked as she dropped her head to stare at her unlaced boots "...Or a permanent fix. He's a miracle."

"He does give off magical vibes," Cheryl agreed. "Things will be fine. My mum says that Dad just needs to get used to the idea. I'm just really pissed that he took my phone."

Cheryl paused, chewing on her bottom lip, wondering if she should keep talking. Toni waited, eventually poking her cheek to get Cheryl talking again.

"I don't like being isolated," Cheryl started. "Obviously I don't get out and meet people often and they usually can't come see me so it's the only way I can talk to people... I don't know," she trailed off. "It's stupid."

"Not at all," Toni said sincerely. "It's how we meet, isn't it?"

Cheryl looked up at Toni's face, suddenly struck by his brilliant smile and eyes alight with happiness.  
She nearly stepped back from the intensity, suddenly quite embarrassed by Toni's words, and the conviction she said them with, as if their meeting was the most important thing in the world to her.

Cheryl was stuck with what to do, and before she realised what she was doing, she reached out, unlooping and re-doing Toni's belt. When she finished, she knelt down, her hands softly slipping down Toni's thighs, calf's, and down to her shoes, pulling the lips out from where they were tucked in and double knotting the heeled boots. Her face felt hot from what she was doing, and could feel Toni's confused expression burn into her skin, but she kept going.

"What... are you doing?" Toni asked slowly.

"I didn't know what else to do," Cheryl replied truthfully.

"And so you decided to dress me?" Toni laughed. "Your train of thought is weird."

Cheryl rolled her eyes pointedly. "Not all of our brains are hardwired for the opposite."

Toni started shaking, and Cheryl had to look up from her task to see that Toni was giggling, holding her hand over her mouth with the other clutching her belly.

"What's so funny?" Cheryl huffed, pulling the lace just a little too tight, raising to her feet again.

"You said 'hard'wired."

Cheryl laughed despite herself, punching Toni in the arm while the girl continued to laugh into her hands. Cheryl couldn't help but laugh too as Yoni slowly lost control, and tears started streaming down her cheeks she bellowed out a laugh harder.

"You've gone wrong," Cheryl said, but soon she was just as far gone as her girlfriend, the stress and anxiety of the past day seeping out of her in waves of laughter, and soon her head was resting on Toni's shoulder as she continued to laugh.

Toni pressed her nose into Cheryl's hair as she slid her arms around Cheryl's waist, and they stayed like that well after Cheryl's giggling fit subsided. Cheryl felt hands rest on her shoulders, sliding her own up Toni's back to pause at her shoulder blades, thinking about if there were any other tattoos hidden under the brunette's clothing, and if she'd ever get the chance to see them.

Toni pulled back a little to press their foreheads together. Cheryl could feel her breath on her face, and she smiled shyly as she trailed her hand down Toni's arm until her fingers found her hand. She linked their fingers together, Toni compliant, and looked to watch their hands slide together, fascinated by the way they fitted perfectly together.

Cheryl felt the smooth slide of Toni's skin on her own, the hands molding together, their noses bumping into each other, and then hesitantly, the feel of Toni's lips hovering close to her own, waiting, asking a question Cheryl would always say yes to.

Their lips connected, gentle but yearning. It felt different to Cheryl this time, maybe because it was behind closed doors in Toni's room, or it was the assurance of Toni's presence in her life, no matter how much her father wanted it to be different. Toni would always be here.

Toni, and probably each and every Serpent would be right by Cheryl's side, no matter what.

Cheryl pressed against her, Toni's hands sliding down Cheryl's sides where they stopped at her hips, where she began swirling small circles with the pad of her thumb on her hipbones. Cheryl tugged on the front of her shirt to bring them closer, a death grip on of fabric balled in her fist, slotting her legs in the spaces between Toni's feeling the warmth greeting her thigh from beneath the leather skirt.

Her heart was in her throat when she felt Toni ungracefully fall back, landing safely on the desk that hit her earlier, but also bringing Cheryl crashing down on top of her.

"Jesus Christ, Toni," Cheryl growled, but it sounded less like a threat. "Scoot up, my legs are still dangling over the edge."

Toni turned briefly to knock everything off the desk, eliciting a laugh from the usually quiet demeanour redhead, and watched as Cheryl followed, straddling on top of her with her legs wedged between her own. There was a tightness in Cheryl's stomach as she climbed on top of Toni, gently pressing their bodies together, scared her weight would crush the tiny girl. Cheryl reached up to touch a tan face, hands shaking slightly, relief and affection washing over her as Toni covered Cheryl's hands and feeling them shake just as much. Toni smiled up at her, and Cheryl could feel that smile as they kissed, and without much prompt began opening her mouth wider to allow Toni in.

Cheryl didn't know how long it had been, but it was too soon when she had to pull away, trying hard to regulate her breathing. She nuzzled into Toni's neck like a puppy, her nose pointed and cold and her lips resting on Toni's frantically beating jugular. The rapid rise and fall of Cheryl's chest pressed against the serpents' side, her quick breaths blowing against her neck

"Are you out of breath?" Toni smiled, and received a harsh jab in the ribs in response.

"In case you didn't notice," Cheryl wheezed, "My respiratory system is kind of fucked up."

"No kidding. I was just getting started."

"I didn't come all this way just to get insulted." Cheryl elbowed Toni in the ribs anyway, and without wanting to, closed her eyes and pulled closer to Toni.

"You're not going to sleep now, are you?" But even to Cheryl, she sounded tired.

Cheryl smirked. "Are you objecting to sleeping with me?"

Toni paused. "Well, you got me there."

"Then shut up. Don't ruin this by talking."

"Rude!"

"You're doing it again."

Toni swiftly pulled the redhead up with her, her legs instinctively locking around the leather clad waist, a gleeful jumble of noises leaving her parted lips as the shorter girl effortlessly carried them both to the small love seat in the corner, laying down and pulling the redhead to rest in the crook of her neck.

Cheryl's mumbled "We should've made out here instead," was the last thing Cheryl heard herself say before drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

*

Monday PM

It was the last thing either of them expected to walk in on, but in hindsight, it probably made the most sense.

Cheryl had been exhausted when they first led her to the dark room, so to find her curled up against Toni on the couch barely phased them. But still, Fangs had worded Sweetpea up that maybe they should enter the room loudly, and very, very slowly.

Even their loud steps and barging in didn't wake the pair, and Fangs put it down to years of sharing a small space with other people. Cheryl snored softly and for once Toni was silent, not even fidgeting in her sleep, as she usually was prone to do. Her right arm was cradled awkwardly, looking isolated compared to the entangled legs and winding torsos so wrapped up in each other.

Jughead closed the door carefully behind them, and as the lock clicked Cheryl's brows furrowed. The boys stood dead in their tracks, but Cheryl just huffed in her sleep and nuzzled closer into Toni's neck. The boys let out their breaths.

"You just grab your photos, and we leave," Fangs whispered, and Sweetpea nodded. Exaggeratedly, Jughead tiptoed over to his photos hanging loosely on a string in the far left corner of the room, careful not to trip over the shoes, footballs, and books scattered on the floor.

Sweetpea, always the ungraceful one, tripped several times and actually fell on his ass when he reached the chair he was looking for. It took all of Fangs' will to not fly across the room and strangle him, but the two sleeping girl didn't so much as stir.

With excruciating care, Jughead sifted through the photos for the ones he wanted, and when he finally pulled the stack off triumphantly, there was a knock on the door.

"Shit," Fangs hissed, because without even opening the door, they knew who it was.

Toni had skipped class this morning, and even worse, she had skipped English class.

The knock came again, only sharper, more impatient. Fangs knew the longer they ignored her the worse her temper would be.

"There's no point playing coy," her voice snapped through the door. "I know the four of you are in there."

Four, five, little difference, Jughead thought, when they were all going to be killed anyway.

Fangs took a deep breath, and with a reassuring nod from Jughead, unlocked the door. Sweetpea looked like he was going to cry on the spot.

As the handle turned it only occurred to him then that maybe they should have woken them up first.

"Shit," Fangs said again as McCoyentered the room and scanned it with thin slots for eyes for the presence of Toni Topaz.

"Afternoon, teach," Fangs said cheerily, but her face did not soften.

"Excellent weather we're having, yes?" Sweetpea added, voice shaking as the angry woman stepped further into the room.

But McCoy had her eyes locked on the sleeping girls, who still stayed clutched together and, much to Fangs' chagrin, unconscious.

"Who is that?" McCoy asked stonily.

"My cousin!" Jughead exclaimed at the same time Sweetpea said, "Our plumber!"

McCoy raised an eyebrow, and they all knew this to mean she was refraining from showing amusement.

"Mr Jones' cousin, who is also a plumber? Bit young, isn't she?"

"She's a prodigy," Fangs cut in emphatically.

"She's clearly not that smart if she would think it a good idea to fall asleep in a high school with a student."

"Prodigies aren't always wise," Jughead said, "They can also be very naïve."

"Only prodigies?" McCoy asked, and Jughead refrained from biting back, knowing she was making fun of them.

"Should I, uh, wake them up, Ma'am?" Fangs asked, craning his neck to see if the girls had even moved. They hadnt.

"Don't bother, Mr Fogarty. I'll do it."

McCoy, with her hands secured behind her back, slowly approached the girl on the couch. She went over to the side where Toni's face was lofted, and slowly brought her face down to her ear.

"Ms Topaz!" she said sharply, not loudly, but loud enough for Toni to leap from the couch, causing Cheryl to go tumbling out on the floor. They both yelped, arms flailing, all the while McCoy backed away slowly, a small smile playing on her lips.

From the floor, Cheryl swore viciously, having not seen McCoy's foreboding figure.

"Excuse me, but regardless of whether you are a student of mine or not, I would appreciate it if you didn't swear."

Cheryl jumped again, leaping to her feet, and with her cheeks bright red sputtered out an apology.

Toni also quickly scrambled to stand before her teacher, her cheeks just as red as Cheryl's tousled hair.

"Morning, Professor," she said, trying to hide the embarrassment with a fitted smirk.

"It is the afternoon, Ms Topaz," she replied. "You seem to have slept through the morning."

"Ah, what a shame." Toni ran her hand through her hair, a mannerism she adopted from Jughead, only smoothing it down rather than ruffling it up. Cheryl just stood silently with her hands lost inside her sleeves, wringing out the hem of her sweater. "I was... um..."

McCoy didn't relent. "Preoccupied, I'm sure."

Both girls' faces became darker, which Fangs didn't know could be possible, and given the situation his cheeks nearly turned red too. This was painful.

Their teacher turned to Cheryl and asked, "What is your name?"

"Oh, um, Cheryl." The room became silent, McCoy waiting, and Cheryl sputtered out, "Blossom. I'm Cheryl Blossom."

A wave of recognition flitted across her face and as quick as it came it faded to an expression of pure  
Interest "What are you doing here, Ms Blossom?"

Cheryl's words caught in her throat, so she just roughly jabbed her hand toward Toni and said the first word that popped into her head, "Her."

Jughead coughed, trying to disguise his laughter, and when Cheryl realized what she said she groaned and let her hair become a veil of embarrassment around her face.

"I came here to see Toni," her voice muffled through her shaking hands.

"Well, I see you found her," McCoy was openly smiling now, "But I'm afraid I must ask you to leave. Visitors need to sign in at the front office and wait until the student is available to be seen. This is usually during the allotted time for recess and lunch, so perhaps you should try again then. Until then, Ms Topaz is going to come with me to my office and we can discuss appropriate punishments for skipping my class this morning. Isn't that right, Ms Topaz?"

"Yes, Professor," Toni grumbled.

"I'm sure Mr Jones, Mr Fogarty and Mr..." She shot a look at the senior, rolling her eyes indignantly "Pea, will show you out, Ms Blossom. Just as they showed you in, I suppose."

And with that, McCoy left, trailing an embarrassed Toni Topaz behind her.

"And I'll refrain from calling your parents. I'm sure we can just mark this up as an incidence."  
She raised a brow in silent understanding, a red-washed smile shining from the overhanging lights. Cheryl sighed a breath of relief, mumbling a gratitude as she left curtly.

"Well," Fangs said jovially in the awkward silence that followed, "Guess we'll lead you out."

Cheryl wouldn't look any of them in the eye all the way to the front door.

*

(8:42) -Cheryl-  
I got my phone back.

(8:43) -Toni-  
Miracles are real!!!

(8:45) -Cheryl-  
I had to endure three hour long lectures from each parents before it was given back to me...

(8:45) -Toni-  
That's understandable, considering that you ran away.

(8:46) -Cheryl-  
I did not! Be quiet!

(8:48) -Cheryl-  
There was a point where they both said "What if something had happened to you and we didn't know?"

(8:48) -Cheryl-  
And I had to explain that if I had my phone that wouldn't be a problem.

(8:49) -Toni-  
OH, RIGHT

(8:49) -Toni-  
Did you get home ok??

(8:50) -Cheryl-  
No. I died.

(8:51) -Toni-  
Damn that's rough... So how'd it go with dad?

(8:55) -Cheryl-  
He's resigned to it by now. There will be an adjustment period, as my mum put it, but the time for punishments is over.   
I think she threatened to leave him and take everything he has to his name including the maple syrup business, so.

(8:56) -Toni-  
Speaking of cruel and unfair punishments!

(8:57) -Toni-  
I have to write an essay on the important of attending class now, especially in my exam final.

(8:58) -Cheryl-  
I would apologise but I feel like you could benefit from writing such an essay.

(8:59) -Toni-  
I demand you help me write it.

(8:59) -Toni-  
I'll even sign your name on it.

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
You're hilarious. That's not happening.

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
I have my own essay to write.

(9:06) -Toni-  
What's that?

(9:07) -Cheryl-  
The importance of sleep. I'm starting now.

(9:08) -Toni-  
But it's so early!!! And you just got your phone back!

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
I also commuted to and from your school today and then got yelled at a lot. I've used up a lot of energy.

(9:11) -Toni-  
Alright then. I'm not going to point out that you already napped in the dark room but whatever.

(9:15) -Cheryl-  
That was nice.

(9:16) -Toni-  
It was. Kinda wish it was happening again.

(9:17) -Cheryl-  
Oh, but it's sooooo early.

(9:18) -Toni-  
Shut up! I could do something while you slept.

(9:19) -Cheryl-  
Like write an essay?

(9:22) -Toni-  
Or read a book. My two favourite things to do!!

(9:23) -Cheryl-  
Would you read to me?

(9:25) -Toni-  
If you wanted, yeah

(9:26) -Cheryl-  
What would you read?

(9:30) -Toni-  
... The very hungry caterpillar?

(9:32) -Cheryl-  
Try something a bit more advanced.

(9:33) -Toni-  
Winnie the Pooh.  
That fuckin' bear is the cutest I stg

(9:34) -Cheryl-  
I'll accept that.

(9:35) -Toni-  
I'll keep it in mind.

(9:36) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

(9:37) -Toni-  
Good night, Cheryl.

*

Tuesday AM

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
I really hope you learned your lesson about skipping class because I am, right now.

(9:05) -Toni-  
I forgot to mention that I have to write my essay during lunchtime, so yes, I have learned my lesson.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
I have a lot of work to do today. Mum is relentless. Think she's a little upset with me.

(9:08) -Toni-  
What was your golden rule? Don't upset the teacher?

(9:10) -Cheryl-  
I know. I have made a huge mistake. My teacher is going extra hard on my now.

(9:12) -Toni-  
Haven't learned my lesson about texting in class, though. And neither have you. Is teacher not breathing down your neck?

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
Teacher gave me work then went to do grocery shopping because no one is home so he doesn't care. I have around an hour to finish this.

(9:16) -Toni-  
But here you are, texting me.

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
I have never claimed to be wise.

(9:20) -Toni-  
Go get your work done Moony.

(9:21) -Cheryl-  
If I have to.

*

(10:10) -Betty-  
I can't believe you ran away from home.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
I'm blocking your number.

(10:11) -Betty-  
I can't believe

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
It's been nice knowing you Betty. Good bye.

*

Tuesday PM

(2:05) -Cheryl-  
I've got something for you.

(2:06) -Toni-  
Now isn't the time, Moons. I'm with the scary lady.

(2:07) -Cheryl-  
I thought she was the love of your life? Especially after she walked in on us. 

(2:07) -Toni-  
No, that doesn't matter. I'm helping.

(2:08) -Cheryl-  
The Importance of Attending Class

Foreword by: Cheryl Blossom

School is an important part of society. Without education we would not have a developing country, would not have the advance scientific knowledge that we have, would not have the iPhone. Had Tim Cook, a famous gay, not been educated appropriately to take over the corporate void that is Apple Inc., then we would not be the droning slaves of technology that we are. We owe it all to Cook.

Toni Topaz, likewise a famous gay, although her fame can be more attributed to infamy than anything, will become an important part to the technological Hellspace when she builds the writer robotic lungs. It fills the writer with such great regret that she took Ms. Topaz away from a place that could contribute to this creation.

The writer imparts her deepest apologies, full of honest sincerity and empathy, as her home-schooling experience knows the pain of not being able to avoid punishment for wrong doing. I will continue to do my best to attend all classes at the kitchen table, and can vouch for Ms Topaz that she will also continue to attend each and every class until graduation (or else, and this is a personal promise to Mayor Misses Sierra McCoy from Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, Ms Topaz will find herself without a girlfriend willing to see her, severely disappointed at her jeopardizing of robotic lungs).

Now, on to the essay.

-M. Blossom

*

(3:14) -Toni-  
I think McCis happy you didn't attend Southside High.

(3:15) -Cheryl-  
I'm offended. I put my heart and soul into that foreword.

(3:16) -Toni-  
I can tell she was amused, but only because I speak McCoy. But also relieved that she didn't have to deal with you for years.

(3:18) -Cheryl-  
To be honest, I'm glad I don't have to face her after our encounter. Well, maybe at mandatory city council events but other then that...

(3:19) -Toni-  
HA yeah. Bombshell, you fucked up.

(3:20) -Cheryl-  
Shut up!! I was shocked!!

(3:21) -Toni-  
You were scared shitless.

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
That too. Mostly that.

(3:23) -Toni-  
It's completely understandable. I don't blame you.

(3:25) -Cheryl-  
Thank you. All the way to the front door, Fangs and Sweetpea wouldn't stop making fun of me.

(3:27) -Toni-  
Fangs was probably just glad it wasn't him for once. And Pea is just a douche.

(3:28) -Toni-  
Fangs is getting antsy without football practice. I'm getting him a treadmill for his birthday.

(3:30) -Cheryl-  
Not one of those spinning wheels they put mice in?

(3:32) -Toni-  
Nah, I'll get one for Sweets.

(3:35) -Toni-  
He's dragging me outside to play for a bit.

(3:36) -Cheryl-  
Have fun getting grass rash.

(3:37) -Toni-  
I always do.

*

(6:13) -Toni-  
It was raining. So much grass rash.

*

(7:01) -Cheryl-  
RIP those beautiful legs.

(7:03) -Toni-  
You're mourning for my legs more than you've ever mourned for Sheba.

(7:05) -Cheryl-  
Priorities?

(7:06) -Toni-  
Yeah, uhuh, If that's what you call it.

(7:06) -Toni-  
Definitely priorities.

*

(9:31) -Toni-  
Dude, where are you?

(9:33) -Fangs-  
Out.

(9:33) -Toni-  
Out?? Where?? All of your friends are here.

(9:34) -Fangs-  
I have other friends!

[Hungry Boi was added to the conversation]

(9:34) -Toni-  
Jug, does Fangs have any other friends?

(9:35) -Jug-  
Besides us? He better not.

(9:35) -Toni-  
Thank you.

(9:36) -Fangs-  
I so too have other friends! Look, I gotta go. My other friends need me.

(9:37) -Toni-  
Need you for what?

(9:37) -Toni-  
What are you doing?

(9:38) -Fangs-  
Are we married?

(9:38) -Toni-  
Practically tbh

(9:39) -Fangs-  
I'll tell ya later.

(9:40) -Toni-  
On my death bed??? Fangsy, you're keeping secrets!

(9:40) -Jug-  
Toni (for once) is right! You've been secretive.

(9:41) -Sweets-  
Spill the beans, Fogarty

(9:41) -Jug-  
We're onto you.

(9:42) -Toni-  
And we're gonna stay up until you get back!

(9:42) -Sweets-  
Yeah!

(9:42) -Sweets-  
Hang on, that could be a while.

(9:43) -Jug-  
Are you a wimp, Pea?

(9:43) -Sweets-  
Yes. We know this about me already.

(9:44) -Jug-  
Time for you to grow a spine, bro.

(9:44) -Toni-  
Time for you both to grow some brain cells. Fangs isn't replying anymore.

(9:45) -Sweets-  
So?

(9:45) -Toni-  
We're in the same fucking room.

(9:46) -Sweets-  
I see that now. The stake out starts. We're waiting for you, Fangs!

(9:46) - Jug-  
Detective mode enabled.

*

(9:50) -Toni-  
Fangs is hiding something and I'm going to find out what.

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
That's nice, mon cherie.

(9:51) -Toni-  
He's sneaking out with other people. OTHER people!

(9:53) -Cheryl-  
Mm, that's nice.

(9:55) -Toni-  
So I'm staying up until he comes back and confront him about it.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
Ok. Good luck with it.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
TT?

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
...You've already fallen asleep, you big idiot.

*

(10:01) -Sweetpea-  
Don't panic, Fangs. The dumbass is already asleep.

(10:01) -Fangs-  
Thanks, Sweetpea.

(10:02) -Sweetpea-  
You do have to tell us what you're doing, though.

(10:03) -Fangs-  
Eventually.

*

Wednesday AM

(7:15) -Sweetpea-  
Eventually is not soon enough!

(7:15) -Fangs-  
It's as soon as you're gonna get it.

(7:17) -Sweetpea-  
凸(-_-)凸

(7:18) -Fangs-  
I'm throwing your phone down the fucking toilet.

*

(9:01) -Toni-  
Moony, it's happened!!

(9:01) -Toni-  
It's happening!!!!!!

(9:03) -Cheryl-  
What is?

(9:03) -Toni-  
The counter-pranksters have come out of hibernation! 

(9:04) -Cheryl-  
What have they done?

(9:04) -Toni-  
They're playing Never Gonna Give You Up over the loudspeakers.

(9:04) -Toni-  
The song finished... Aaaand it's started again.

(9:05) -Cheryl-  
The office people don't know how to turn it off. Apparently the mic's been stolen.

(9:06) -Cheryl-  
Rick Rolling? I don't know, TT. It sounds like they're losing their touch.

(9:08) -Toni-  
Rick Rolling is timeless, Bombshell. A classic.

(9:09) -Cheryl-  
If you say so, O Mighty Prankster.

(9:09) -Toni-  
I don't appreciate your tone.

(9:10) -Toni-  
I think it's time I did it, you know.

(9:11) -Cheryl-  
Do what?

(9:12) -Toni-  
Confront them. We know of one member. I'm going to talk to her.

(9:12) -Cheryl-  
Oh, right, the girl you stalked.

(9:13) -Toni-  
It wasn't stalking!

(9:13) -Cheryl-  
Spying.

(9:14) -Toni-  
I can practically hear the tone in that text. Don't say it like that!

(9:14) -Cheryl-  
You're a spy who spies on girls like a creepy spy.

(9:17) -Toni-  
Am not! Look, we've been over this. The point is now that I'm going to talk to her.

(9:18) -Cheryl-  
And say what?

*

(9:30) -Toni-  
I asked her if she was a part of the group pulling all of these pranks.

(9:31) -Cheryl-  
That's... straight to the point.

(9:32) -Toni-  
She denied everything.

(9:33) -Cheryl-  
Of course. Your interrogating leaves much to be desired.

(9:35) -Toni-  
I confronted her about catching her in the act.

(9:36) -Cheryl-  
Please choose your words carefully.

(9:37) -Toni-  
The squid!! Come on, Bombshell.

(9:38) -Cheryl-  
And?

(9:40) -Toni-  
She denied that, too.

(9:50) -Cheryl-  
Well, what a surprise.

(9:54) -Toni-  
She used that tone of voice, though.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
What tone of voice?

(9:56) -Toni-  
The 'I'm saying that I have no idea what you're talking about but really I do' tone of voice.

(9:59) -Cheryl-  
That's an oddly specific tone of voice.

(10:01) -Toni-  
Come on, you know what I'm talking about, right?

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
I'm sorry TT, but I can't say that I do.

(10:05) -Toni-  
If that was you trying to use that tone it didn't really work, since this is texting.

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
But you managed to pick up that I WAS using the tone through the text.

(10:07) -Toni-  
This is getting off topic! I need a bribe, or blackmail...

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
No blackmailing! Illegal!

(10:10) -Toni-  
Buzz kill. It's the Southside bro.

(10:10) - Cheryl-  
Don't bro me.

(10:11) - Toni-  
B r o.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
I'm not busting you out of jail again.

(10:15) -Toni-  
There it is, the jail joke.

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
No blackmailing.

(10:17) -Toni-  
Fine, fine! No blackmailing! ... But bribery is fine?

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
If you have something worth giving...

(10:20) -Toni-  
I have Pokemon trading cards.

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
I don't think that's going to cut it.

(10:25) -Toni-  
Who knows? Peaches could be a closet Pokemon fan.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Everyone is a Pokemon fan at heart, Toni. I just don't think it's a fair trade.

(10:37) -Toni-  
Well, I'll think of something. Eventually. Until then I guess I'll just keeping listening to Never Gonna Give You Up.

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
It's still playing?

(10:39) -Toni-  
You bet! It never stopped! Soon enough I'm going to turn into Rick Astley.

(10:41) -Cheryl-  
I'd probably be better romanced if that was the case.

(10:41) -Toni-  
I'm romancing you fine as it is! I seem to be the one that comes up with the dates here!

(10:44) -Cheryl-  
Fine, I'll arrange a date.

(10:45) -Toni-  
Wait, no. Not this Saturday.

(10:49) -Cheryl-  
What, why?

(10:51) -Toni-  
Because I'm taking you out!

(10:52) -Cheryl-  
But you were just complaining...

(10:53) -Toni-  
I know, I know. But next time. I shotgun taking you out this weekend!!

(10:54) -Cheryl-  
Fiiine. Gives me more time to think up something then...

(10:55) -Toni-  
Glad that's settled.

(10:56) -Toni-  
I have to do actual work now, if I hope to pass my final exams.

(10:58) -Cheryl-  
Why would you hope for a thing like that? Not very punk, I must say.

(10:59) -Toni-  
Bye, Bombshell! *boooooom*

(11:00) - Cheryl-  
It's the thrill that I live for.

*

Wednesday PM

(2:53) -Toni-  
Bombshell.

(2:54) -Cheryl-  
Yes?

(2:54) -Toni-  
We're no strangers to love.

(2:55) -Cheryl-  
Um... Ok?

(2:56) -Toni-  
You know the rules and so do I.

(2:57) -Cheryl-  
What rules? When did we make rules?

(2:58) -Toni-  
A full commitments what I'm thinking off.

(2:59) -Cheryl-  
I'd well hope so.

(3:01) -Toni-  
You wouldn't get this from any other guy.

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
Did you just 'nice guy' me? Antoinette Topaz.

(3:05) -Toni-  
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling.

(3:06) -Cheryl-  
Oh my god

(3:07) -Cheryl-  
I can't believe it took me this long to realise.

(3:08) -Toni-  
Gotta make you understand.

(3:10) -Cheryl-  
I understand ok!!! Stop this now!!

(3:13) -Toni-  
Bombshell.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
What?

(3:16) -Toni-  
I'm never gonna give you up.

(3:17) -Cheryl-  
I'm going to stop replying.

(3:17) -Toni-  
I'm never gonna let you down!

(3:19) -Toni-  
Never gonna run around and dessert you!!

(3:20) - Cheryl-  
...You spelled desert wrong.

(3:21) -Toni-  
Maybe I wanna cover you in ice cream, you don't know.

(3:21) -Cheryl-  
Please don't, that would be cold.

(3:22) -Toni-  
Don't worry Bombshell, I'm never gonna make you cry.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
Bye

(3:24) -Toni-  
Never gonna say good bye!!

(3:26) -Cheryl-  
...Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

*

(5:53) -Cheryl-  
Hey, we still doing Sunday?

(5:53) -Betty-  
Archie can drive us over.

(5:54) -Cheryl-  
Oh, thank god.

(5:57) -Betty-  
Yeah, I wasn't looking forward to your driving either.

(5:57) -Betty-  
Have you ever thought about moving out for uni?

(5:59) -Cheryl-  
Betty. Of course I haven't!

(6:02) -Betty-  
Well hey, now's the time!

(6:02) -Betty-  
Campus is pretty far away, but it's your first pick, right?

(6:04) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, so far.

(6:06) -Betty-  
Then moving out might have to be something you consider. Especially if you don't get some better driving experience soon.

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
I'll talk to mum about it, have a look on the university website.

(6:11) -Betty-  
Good thinking!

(6:12) -Betty-  
Well, since Arch is taking us, we don't have to get up at an ungodly hour.

(6:13) -Cheryl-  
Thank goodness. Nothing makes me dread the future much like waking up early.

(6:16) -Betty-  
We'll probably be around at noon. Get all of your important questions ready!

(6:19) -Cheryl-  
"What's your policy on sleeping during lectures?'

(6:21) -Betty-  
Please, they won't care.

(6:24) -Cheryl-  
Sure hope not, because it's inevitable.

(6:27) -Cheryl-  
"What's your policy on bringing small animals into lectures?'

(6:28) -Betty-  
What small animal do you have that you want to bring into a lecture?

(6:30) -Cheryl-  
None, yet.

(6:30) -Betty-  
I think a kitten would be nice!

(6:34) -Cheryl-  
"What's your policy on pets in the dorms?'

(6:35) -Betty-  
Nooooo, Cher, you don't ask! You just do it and hide them when the RA is around!

(6:39) -Cheryl-  
All of my friends are delinquents.

(6:40) -Betty-  
Oh yeah, of the most depraved kind.

(6:43) -Cheryl-  
So, you're thinking of moving out?

(6:45) -Betty-  
Well, I have a fair bit of money saved up from working for my mom at the register. And my job there is secure.

(6:45) -Betty-  
So, yeah, I'm thinking about it. Either on campus or in a house with other people

(6:48) -Cheryl-  
Have you talked to Archie about it?

(6:49) -Betty-  
He's taking a year off first to find a job. His mom isn't pleased. He's thinking the military.

(6:50) -Cheryl-  
I can imagine. She's a hard one.

(6:52) -Betty-  
She is. It's terrifying every time I'm over and they bring it up.

(6:52) - Cheryl-  
And Jughead?

(6:53) - Betty-  
Getting all his credits and applying to some pretty big name schools. Yale's in the talks.

(6:53) -Cheryl-  
Wow. Fine, I'll think about it.

(6:55) -Betty-  
Good! Time to get your life moving, Blossom!

(6:56) -Cheryl-  
Yeah, yeah.

(6:59) -Betty-  
Watch out world, Cheryl Blossom is on the prowl.

(7:01) -Cheryl-  
Woah, hey. It's more like a ... A walk. Cheryl Blossom is on a walk.

(7:02) -Betty-  
A hurried walk?

(7:03) -Cheryl-  
One of those half-jog things.

(7:06) -Betty-  
Cheryl Blossom is on a half-jog thing.

(7:08) -Cheryl-  
There. That sounds nice.

(7:09) -Betty-  
Sounds nerdy. And slow.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
One step at a time, dear cousin.

(7:11) -Betty-  
Whatever. See you Sunday, nerd!!

*

(9:55) -Toni-  
We've known each other for so long.

(9:57) -Cheryl-  
Please give it a rest.

(9:58) -Toni-  
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it.

(10:01) -Toni-  
Inside we both know what's going on

(10:01) -Toni-  
We know the game and we're gonna play it

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
Are you done now?

(10:04) -Toni-  
Hang on, there's two more lines I haven't used.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Ok then.

(10:06) -Toni-  
And if you ask me how I'm feeling, don't tell me you're too blind to see.

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Finished?

(10:09) -Toni-  
Yeah, now we just get into the repetition of 'never gonna give you up'.

(10:10) -Cheryl-  
Good, good. I already know those lines.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Yeah. It stopped playing when the school day finished.

(10:11) -Toni-  
Bombshell, that's six hours. Six hours of Rick.

(10:11) -Toni-  
I've lost my mind.

(10:12) -Cheryl-  
And you had to punish me too?

(10:13) -Toni-  
I had to get it out of me, before it festered and corrupted my soul.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
First, your hair would turn ginger.

(10:15) -Toni-  
But then I'd get some cool glasses.

(10:16) -Cheryl-  
And then... a striped shirt? My memory of the video clip is fading. Are you trying to be me?

(10:16) -Toni-  
I'd watch it to continue this joke but I don't want to have to listen to the song again.

(10:19) -Cheryl-  
That's reasonable. I also don't want to be tormented again.

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
I'd have nightmares, probably.

(10:21) -Toni-  
Probably. Don't worry, I'll be here to get through them with you.

(10:22) -Cheryl-  
That would be comforting if you weren't also the cause.

(10:24) -Toni-  
Let's just forget that part. I'm being suave.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
You absolutely are not.

(10:26) -Toni-  
I'm trying.

(10:29) -Cheryl-  
You would have had a better chance if you hadn't Rick Rolled me all day.

(10:31) -Toni-  
I've learned my lesson, ok!

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
Not well enough.

(10:33) -Toni-  
Again, I don't see you doing any suave-ing.

(10:35) -Cheryl-  
I'm just not that enamoured with you. Especially after today.

(10:38) -Toni-  
You wound me! I'm truly hurt.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Ok, fine.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Hmmmm...

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
You're pretty cool sometimes.

(10:41) -Toni-  
I'm swooning.

(10:42) -Cheryl-  
Monday was the best sleep I've had in a long time. It felt safe.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Aw

(10:44) -Toni-  
Ah

(10:45) -Toni-  
Yeah okay that's better.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
You dork. Good night.

(10:47)-Toni-  
Good night, Moony. Wish I was there.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
Wish you were here too, TT.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
Always wish you were.

(Message failed to send).

*

Thursday AM

(9:43) -Cheryl-  
Does Drew wear gold or silver jewellery?

(9:44) -Toni-  
Uh

(9:45) -Toni-  
So far he only wears a friendship bracelet I made him in grade 6, so. Yellow and red jewellery?

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
You made him a friendship bracelet? That's so cute.

(9:46) -Toni-  
Yeah, yeah. I made Fang's, Fangs made Sweetpea's, Sweets made Jug's and he made mine. Bffs forever.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
So cute. So he has no preference?

(9:51) -Toni-  
Bombshell, I'm gonna say that if you get him a Ben 10 watch that he'd be happy.

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
I don't think mum will find that very amusing.

(9:56) -Cheryl-  
Apparently watches are very important.

(9:58) -Toni-  
They're good for telling the time.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
Mum has decided on silver, gold might be a bit too outlandish.

(10:06) -Toni-  
Outlandish is Fangs' middle name.

(10:06) -Toni-  
Ok no it's not, it's Fleaumont.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
You think up the weirdest names.

(10:10) -Toni-  
I'm not lying, for once.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
What? Fangs Fleaumont Fogarty?

(10:13) -Toni-  
Yup. After his dad.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
Oh my God. Please don't tell him I called his name weird.

[Ugly Gay was added to the conversation]

(10:15) -Toni-  
Cheryl said your middle name was weird.

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
Hey! What did I just say!

(10:16) -Fangs-  
Don't worry bro, it fuckin' is.

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
It's very unique.

(10:20) -Fangs-  
My mum had to add it onto the birth certificate when dad wasn't looking. He was against the idea.

(10:21) -Toni-  
Can't say I blame him. Why further curse a child? Especially one so ugly and full of secrets?

(10:23) -Fangs-  
I'm going to make you high five my Bunsen burner in a minute.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Fangs do you prefer gold or silver?

(10:26) -Fangs-  
GOLD.

(10:29) -Toni-  
Wow, what a shocker coming from a thief.

(10:31) -Fangs-  
Said the thief to the other.

(10:32) -Cheryl-  
You honestly prefer gold?

(10:33) -Fangs-  
Hell yeah! King Midas had the right idea.

(10:33) -Fangs-  
Why do you ask?

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
Some might say that gold is a bit outlandish.

(10:35) -Fangs-  
Suits me perfectly then, hm?

(10:35) -Toni-  
That's what I thought.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
Lovely. I'll make a note of it.

(10:37) -Fangs-  
For when and what?

(10:37) -Cheryl-  
Your funeral. I'm thinking a gold casket.

(10:38) -Fangs-  
That's pretty cool, actually. I'll accept that.

(10:38) -Toni-  
I want a gold casket!

(10:39) -Fangs-  
Toni, you're most likely going to end up hidden in a dugout hole.

(10:40) -Toni-  
He's right. If I'm not the one murdering you, it'll probably be him.

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Or one of my cousins. I think they'd happily do it.

(10:41) -Fangs-  
Is that was Chai said?

(10:41) -Toni-  
More or less.

(10:42) -Fangs-  
Hey! Bombshell, you're coming tonight, right? Toni said you were but I think she said that before she even told you about it.

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
That sounds like something she would do. Yes, I am coming. What time?

(10:44) -Fangs-  
FP think's he'll be finished everything by seven, so anywhere after that.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Prepping what?

(10:44) -Fangs-  
You know FP. A buffet of sorts. All handmade or stolen food from the Serpent's and cheap beer

(10:45) -Toni-  
Moony, you allergic to anything?

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
No, I'm all good.

(10:46) -Cheryl-  
Alright, I have to go. See you later Fangs!

(10:46) -Fangs-  
Bye Cheryl!

(10:47) -Toni-  
Aw, no good bye for me?

(10:47) -Cheryl-  
Nah.

(10:48) -Fangs-  
Get rekt.

*

Thursday PM

(5:35) -Cheryl-  
So, is it casual wear?

(5:39) -Toni-  
Nah, obviously for Fangs' 18th we have a strict dress code for once. Nothing less than a tux and gold accessories. 

(5:41) -Cheryl-  
But my dress is still in the drycleaners from my last attendance of an 18th birthday party.

(5:42) -Toni-  
That was like two weeks ago.

(5:42) -Toni-  
Fire your drycleaners.

(5:50) -Cheryl-  
But they do well at getting bloodstains out. And they don't ask questions.

(5:52) -Toni-  
Guess those sorts of drycleaners are hard to come by...

(5:52) -Cheryl-  
Still, they're taking their sweet time.

(5:53) -Cheryl-  
So what else can I wear to this engagement?

(5:54) -Toni-  
Do you have a regular dress?

(5:55) -Cheryl-  
I have one with a floral print.

(5:55) -Cheryl-  
Too outlandish, even for the Jones'?

(5:56) -Toni-  
Maybe a bit. Might wanna tone it down.

(5:58) -Cheryl-  
It's either sweat pants or floral dress I'm afraid.

(5:59) -Toni-  
Meet me in the middle. Sweat pants with the floral dress?

(6:01) -Cheryl-  
I mean, it could work, but...

(6:02) -Toni-  
But what?

(6:03) -Cheryl-  
Well, as my date you'll have to match.

(6:04) -Toni-  
Who said I'm your date?

(6:05) -Cheryl-  
No you're right, I'm going to attend with Archie. I'll ask him to match with me.

(6:07) -Toni-  
Hang on, let's not be hasty. I'll be your date.

(6:09) -Cheryl-  
Good. I need you to wear a sweater and dress pants.

(6:12) -Toni-  
For balance. I see. 

(6:15) -Cheryl-  
I hope you know I'm joking

(6:18) -Toni-  
I'm not. See you later!

*

(7:35)   
Hey, I think we're at the right house? Come out the front.

(7:35)   
Ok.

(7:35)   
Hey beautiful

Cheryl smiled, locking her phone before her mum could see the message on the screen, and turned in the passenger seat to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Message me when it's over – or, whenever you want to come home," she said gently. "But not too late."   
She sat up straighter, clearing her throat back to its stoic monotone "Have fun, dear."

Cheryl nodded, bid her a quick good bye and climbed out of the car.

The building was big, which surprised Cheryl greatly, looking modestly humble in shrouds of clipped bushes despite the rough exterior of crumpling brick and dead grass. As Cheryl followed the short dirt path to the front door she could spot a cat, a snake, and a badger trimmed from the hedges.

When she reached Toni, she turned back to wave her mum off, and Toni waved too. Cheryl's mum smiled at them, and pulled out onto the road.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Toni said and Cheryl couldn't help but laugh at her worried tone.

"'Course not," Cheryl tried her best to sound reassuring, despite not believing the words sour on her tongue, before changing the topic. "I'd hate to ask the obvious, but what's with the hedges?"

Toni blinked at her, then looked at the front yard as if seeing it for the first time. "Oh, the animals?"

"What else?"

"It's a hobby of Tall Boy's. He's doing a snake next. They're the, uh, his favourite animals."

Toni opened the front door for her, ushering her into the dimly lit bar. A stream of soft music and warmth hitting her body as she stepped in. The floors were made of some cheap veneer wood, and a bundle of jackets were set at the front door. Cheryl took the initiative and slipped off her coat, raising an eyebrow at her shoes in silent question. Toni laughed, shaking her head "Nah, none of us care too much about cleanliness around here."

"That's a lot of pride for the front of a bar ," Remus commented.

Toni shrugged. "The Whyte Whyrm is sort of the pride and joy of the Southside," she used the hand pressed against the small of Cheryl's back to push her forward in the crowd.

Cheryl hadn't thought to ask how many people would be there, and she started to regret not having the foresight as she stepped into the lounge and was immediately struck by the bodies huddling around the room and hanging over the couch and arm chairs.

She recognized some of them from the football game, especially taking note of how most of the bodies were clad with the serpent jacket or permanently inked with a snake on various parts of their exposed skin, but there were a few faces that were new. Cheryl hardly had time to even process them before Sweetpea and Fangs were launching from their seats at her

"Cheryl!" Fangs bellowed, but Sweetpea reached her first and patted her so roughly on the back that she couldn't help but cough.

"Sorry man," Sweetpea said, but he smiled through the words, not at all looking apologetic 

"Happy birthday," Cheryl said, handing over the carefully wrapped present. Fangs looked genuinely surprised, looked like he was about to protest before Cheryl cut in, "Of course I would buy you a birthday present, when I've been invited to your birthday party, on your birthday."

"Right." Fangs ruffled the back of his head sheepishly, then tore into the present. He shouted when he saw what it was, suddenly punching Cheryl in the arm.

"What the hell!" Cheryl rubbed the sore spot on her arm, a low growl escaping her lips "Sorry, theyre used to rough housing even with the girls," Toni smiled sheepishly, rubbing the spot Fangs punched her gently

"Now I know why the weird question about silver or gold," Fangs replied. He tossed the torn paper onto the coffee table and tried to tackle putting the watch on by himself and failing miserably. Cheryl took the watch from him impatiently, clipping it on quickly and setting the face of the watch to look up. Fangs admired it, twisting his wrist to watch it glitter in the light, a broad smile on his face.

"Now you'll have to learn how to read clocks," Jughead joked, walking up with Betty on his arm.

Fangs waved a hand. "Nah, that's Pea who doesn't know."

Sweetpea looked startled at his sudden inclusion in the conversation, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's hard, I'll have you know."

Both of the other boys rolled their eyes. "Sure," jughead scoffed, earning a smack from Betty. "I'll introduce you, Cheryl. Come on."

Cheryl stepped out from under the precipice of the hallway and the lounge room, blindly searching for Toni's hand behind her. Cheryl liked meeting new people, even if sometimes the experience wasn't always pleasant – always full of pity, soft eyes and hushed voices as if she were already dead- or worse, they knew she was Blossom– but the comfort of having Toni there was calming, and she felt that calm wash through her when Toni linked her fingers between hers.

Cheryl expected to be introduced to each person one by one, but when Fangs stopped in the middle of the middle and shouted, "This is Cheryl! Say hi!" Cheryl was not prepared for all of the eyes to be fixed on her, to have a chorus of greetings directed at her. She waved shyly as Fangs threw her arm around her shoulders, beginning to point out people sitting on the couch and naming them.

"You know Kevin, then that's Peaches, and Reggie, and Mel –"

"Oh, we've met," Mel cut in. She winked at her as she blew a bubble between her lips, letting it pop and stick to her chin.

"Right," Fangs said, "I probably don't want to know."

"Probably not," Toni assured him.

Peaches had only looked up long enough to acknowledge her, waving her hand minutely, then looking back down at the DS in her hands and furiously clicking buttons. Mel watched her play, chin resting on Peaches shoulder, but lifted her head to talk to Cheryl.

"Hey, hey," she said. "Think I saw you at the game."

"I remember," Cheryl said. "Nice to see you again."

Mel raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, you too, to be honest. Wouldn't do well to have Toni sulk before finals."

"There's still time," Peaches said, not looking up from her game.

"Talk about wishing the best for me," Toni mumbled.

One brown head, previously hanging over the back of the couch to watch whatever Peaches was playing, looked up at them and smiled.

"We've already lost our chance at the grand final," Joaquin said. "What else could she sulk about?"

Mel turned on the couch to face him. "Just wondering, Joaquin, but are you visually impaired?"

Joaquin waved a hand on front of his face. "Don't look like it."

"Right," Mel said sardonically. "Just checking."

"Anyway," Fangs cut in quickly, "That's Joaquin, Reggie is next to him, and the little twitchy guy is Barty."

Cheryl definitely remembered Barty, especially his stricken face after he got a foul against Verne in that football game, but now he looked a lot calmer, with more colour in his face. "Wait, Reggie, don't you go to Riverdale High?"

He grinned, showing off his pearly white smile and ran a hand thru his loose curls "Yeah, but me and Fangs go way back. And plus, Archie and Betty seem a little..." he shot a look at Betty who rolled her eyes "Entangled with the other half now, so I thought id see what the big deal was."

"Hey," Barty cut in, walking around the couch to shake Cheryl's hand, and continued to shake her hand a little more vigorously as he said, "Nice to meetcha, real nice."

"You too," Cheryl said tepidly. She carefully extracted her hand from Barty's grip.

"Well, that's the gang," Fangs said. "Come to the back kitchen and see FP."

Fangs led her through the lounge room, Toni still gripping her hand and following behind, and they stepped through double swinging doors. Cheryl could feel the coolness of the kitchen tiles through the hole in her shoe, the rest of the kitchen radiating coolness from the stainless steel counter tops and windowed cupboards.

FP bustled around the prep table, adorned with a platter and various finger foods, while Mustang followed behind his friend and whispered words that Cheryl couldn't hear.

"FP," Fangs said to draw her attention. "You're not freaking out again, are you?"

"Definitely not," FP replied, but his strained and albeit awkward expression said otherwise.

"This is more than enough to feed the whole gang for a month, Forysthe," Mustang told him quietly, almost so quietly that Cheryl barely heard him.

"Is it really?" FP fretted. He turned to his son, catching sight of Cheryl almost hiding behind Fangs, and changed from worried to a beaming smile. He looked so much like Jughead, Cheryl suddenly thought, and instinctively braced herself as he approached her and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Hello," Cheryl said dazedly when he pulled back.

"Good to see you, kid," FP said, then took her arm and pulled her over to the prep table. "Now tell me, does this look like enough food? Would this be enough for you?"

"Dad," Fangs groaned.

"Shut it, boy, I'm asking red a question."  
Cheryl spluttered, tripping over her words because yes, there was plenty to eat, too much even, Cheryl couldn't imagine how they would manage to get through it all in one evening.

FP looked over Cheryl's shoulder. "Toni, what do you think?"

"Think it's heaps," Toni grinned, hopping up on one of the silver table tops "I'll revel in the stomach ache it gives me."

FP whacked her head with the towel he was holding. "Don't eat too much. I don't want to hear that you missed another class."

Cheryl instantly felt guilty, but Toni laughed. "Promise, I promise."

"Good. Fangs, get back to the lounge, you can't just leave your guests."

FP gave Betty a one armed hug, and Cheryl felt warmth in her stomach flutter at the sight of content on Jughead's usually stoic face.

"Yes, Sir," Fangs droned good-naturedly, saluting him and the group of them went back into the lounge room.

Sweetpea had set up the old Nintendo 64 sitting under the wide screen TV hanging almost dangerously from the wall stand, already starting up Mario Kart and giving a controller to Reggie, Joaquin and Kevin.

"Round Robin style," Sweetpea said to them. "Winner gets to continue to the next game, and losers have to hand their controller over to the next person in line. First to win five games in a row is declared the ultimate winner. Toni, Cher, you in?"

Kevin had already picked his player – Princess Peach – and was waiting impatiently for the other boys to begin.

"Answer him quickly," he said. "I'm ready to win."

"I'm gonna show Bombshell around the Whyrm first," Toni said, then turned to Cheryl. "If that's ok?"

Cheryl sighed in relief. "Yes. I actually really need to pee."

Toni laughed and dragged her back out into the hallway, past the kitchen this time, and pointed to the doors as they passed and named them.

"That's the storage room, Mustang uses it and all of the... well, everything is in there. Mostly booze. Only can get in with a key." She turned to another door, kicking the rickety wood open with the toe of her boot "This is Tall Boy, who owns the joint's bedroom. Stays there most nights. Yknow, when his trailer is flooded" She grinned broadly "I've been in there once and it was weird."

Cheryl stopped walking and looked at Toni quizzically. "Why was it strange?"

Toni looked at her like it was obvious. "Because it's Tall Boy's space. That's, like, off limits."

"I often sit in on my parents' bed. There's good lighting for reading in there."

Toni huffed. "Guess it must have been a Topaz thing," she said absently. "Anyway."

The bathroom was next, with pale blue floor tiles, a sink, and blissfully a toilet. The walls were staining a gross yellow that clashed with the baby green sink.

Up a spiral stair case were a few other rooms filled with boxes of beer and harder stuff, with a couple extra bedrooms at the end of the hall. Toni briefly opened one bedroom door, showing Cheryl only a quick sight of FP's mess of a bed, then dragged Cheryl over to the next room.

"And this is my room!" Toni told her excitedly, throwing open the door and making a sweeping gesture for Cheryl to step in.

It was a very simple room, a stark contrast to the dark and Smokey bar booming from underneath them. Toni would probably only be spending a small portion of her year in this bedroom. It was mostly bare, for Cheryl assumed all of her stuff was strewn across the dark room floor, or stuffed into the trailer’s nooks. But posters and photographs were blu-tacked to the wall above her bed.

A desk was pressed against the wall, under a window that overlooked the back of the building, a big blue bin sitting comfortably on the rugged pavement. The fence in the back even looked weary and trees were weeping with years of neglect. Various trinkets and mechanical parts lay on the top, the dark wood of the desk stained with motor oil.

"Used to be the guest room so it's not that flash," Toni said nervously. "Even before I made this here my little getaway, I just slept on Jugs’ floor."

“I thought you guys had your own trailers?”

Toni shrugged her jacket off, plopping into the swirly desk chair, reminding Cheryl of the time Toni was sitting the same way in her own bedroom. “We has to stay somewhere before we could have our own places. I guess they thought a small 9 year old girl couldn’t take care of a trailer or be around the dangers of a gang. Who could’ve guessed?”

Cheryl inspected the posters, shots of motorcycles and cars, some slick with fresh paint while others were taken apart, their insides bared and labelled.

"It's very you," Cheryl said, indicating to the pictures.

Toni shrugged. "If all else fails, mechanic is still an option."

Cheryl had to climb onto the bed to look at the photographs above the headboard. There was a succession of group shots, Toni and the boys, starting from their first year of high school school to the previous year. Cheryl was struck by the glorious smile on Toni’s face, to the almost deadly glint in her eyes, in each and every photo, her true pleasure of being there with her friends shined thru even with the fear the gang seemed to easily posses onto others.

"These are nice photos," Cheryl said absentmindedly, outlining a photo of what seemed to be a concert with her index finger.

Toni got onto the bed, shuffling up beside Cheryl to look at them too. "We haven't taken this year's yet. But, yeah. I like them."

Toni had a kind of dreamy smile on her face, one that told Cheryl she couldn't quite believe her luck, having such close friends that loved her. People that took her in and made it seem as if the fact they didn’t share the same DNA didn’t matter one bit. She leaned over and kissed her cheek, snapping Toni back to reality.

"You're sappy," Toni said with a broad smile.

"We've been over this," Cheryl replied, ducking down to kiss her other cheek.

Toni playfully slapped her away, a giveaway smile on her face as she shuffled down to the other end of the bed. Cheryl followed, swinging her legs over the edge and knocking her feet against Toni’s boots.

"It's a good home, this and the trailer," Cheryl said lightly as they began wrestling with each other's feet. "Better than your dark room, at least."

Toni laughed. "Well, that's not very hard. But thanks. It's home here. The Southside.”

Cheryl felt light. She felt like a soft calm had wrapped around her, simply by being this close to Toni, in a space that was intricately Toni. Toni, too, looked like she was floating, radiating an aura of peacefulness that Cheryl got sucked into. Their own quiet bubble.

As Cheryl thought, she lowered her head to kiss Toni’s shoulder, trailing along to the crook of her neck before she stopped. She had an idea.

"Hey," Cheryl asked gently, prodding Toni's shoulder, "Can I see it?"

"See what?" Toni replied slyly. Cheryl whacked her over the head.

"Your tattoo. Can I see it? I've only seen the picture. It's healed, right?"

"Oh, yeah," Toni said easily. "Ok. Hang on."

Cheryl didn't know why she didn't anticipate this. She knew, on some level, that clothing would need to be rearranged so she could see it, but she just didn't expect the entirety of Toni’s bare skin to be in the picture, having grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled it up to her neck. Her shoulders were exposed too, which was the main goal, but even at the front Toni’s shirt had ridden up over her tight abdomen.  
Sure, she could’ve easily rolled up her sleeve. But what fun would it be?

Cheryl’s cheeks felt like they were on fire. This was not where she was planning on things going.

"You looking?" Toni asked and for a moment Cheryl forgot what she was meant to be looking at, getting lost in the star-speckled freckles lining the girls back

Tattoo. Right.

Cheryl huffed. "I'm looking, alright."

Toni shot her a smirk, “No, I think you’d have to be looking at my arm to see.” tossing her shirt to the floor and rearranging herself so she sat facing the redhead, and that's when Cheryl saw it.

The snake was a soft blaze of green, a red tongue licking up a drop of red venom as it slithered across her forearm. The colours mingled together in swirls and flicks, Cheryl tracing its pattern with the tip of her finger.

"Shit," she whispered. "Sorry, didn't mean to do that."

Toni shook her head, the ends of her pink washed hair tickling the snake. "Keep going if you want, it's fine. You'd be surprised by how many people have the urge to touch tattoos."

Her voice was quiet, and Cheryl couldn't see her face through the jungle of her long hair. She wondered how often people touched Toni like this, gentle and caring, as if her skin would pierce under the slightest point. Cheryl slid her fingers over the tattoo again, following the Snake’s back to the tip of its pointed teeth.

Cheryl’s eye caught the small speckle of colour previously hidden under the blanket of brown hair. A Phoenix. She quickly sat up, turning the girls body around with an audible ‘oof’ leaving her lips at the sudden movement. It was small, and almost looked like a splotch on her skin. But there it was. A brilliant and vibrant mix of red’s oranges and yellows on her shoulder blade.

"A Phoenix," Cheryl said quietly, hesitantly stretching her hand across the tattoo. "Very symbolic."

"Rising from the ashes. Brand new start." Her shoulder jolted in a shrug. "Yeah, I know."

Cheryl pressed her hand flat against Toni’s back, her pale fingers splayed. The tattoo wasn't much bigger than the palm of her hand, the skin underneath her hand quite warm.

She dragged her hand down slowly, her thumb smoothing over the bumps and ridges of Toni’s spine down to the dimples in her spine. Toni straightened her back as Cheryl got lower, watching over her shoulder as Cheryl curved her hand around and pressed against her taught stomach. Cheryl leaned in and kissed the phoenix, pulling Toni closer against her.

"You just wanted an excuse to feel me up," Toni said, voice courses Cheryl noted, leaning her head back against Cheryl’s chest.

Cheryl smoothed the hair away from Toni’s face to look at her, then shrugged in response. "You're the one who practically stripped in front of me."

Toni hummed in agreement. "I should put this back on before someone walks in and gets the wrong idea."

"Jee, and what idea would that be?" Cheryl joked as Toni struggled to pull her arm back into the shirt.

"That you tricked me into doing something scandalous," Toni replied, wiggling her eyebrows in time to her words.

"I'm sure they'd believe you, too," Cheryl replied sarcastically.

Once Toni had sorted out her shirt, they quietly slipped back into the lounge room. The game had been paused as food was set out on the coffee table in the middle of the room, but Kevin held his controller protectively in his lap, Fangs wrapped tightly into his side.

"I'm on my third win," he told Toni when they came in.

"Already?" Toni said incredulously. "We're gonna have to disqualify you from these competitions."

"That's not fair," said a dark girl from the couch, Cheryl already forgetting her name. She shovelled potato chips into her mouth as she spoke, "Kevon has been practicing non-stop to even match the level you guys are on at this game."

"Really?" Fangs asked and he sounded a little proud.

"Competitive by nature," Kevin said happily. "Plus, hanging with Peaches will have that effect on you."

"Competitiveness?" Joaquin asked, snatching a pretzel from the array of food.

"No." Kevin grinned. "Getting good at video games."

"Thanks, Kev.” the girl from the couch said, and that's when Cheryl remembered.

"Oh, you're – you're that Peaches!" She exclaimed, immediately clapping a hand over her mouth before she could say anything else. The Peaches that Toni stalked to find out if you were a prankster.

"How many Peaches’ do you know?" she said with a smirk. "And what do you mean by that?"

Cheryl felt the heat rising in her cheeks again, only this time it was more painful. "Oh. Uh, nothing."

"You're the Peaches that Toni took out on a date," Jughead informed her mischievously, effectively saving Cheryl from great embarrassment.

"Let's not talk about that," Mel cut in, throwing a protective arm over Peaches’ shoulders.

"I agree," Peaches said as she snuggled in closer to Mel. "My taste has gotten better since then."

Toni laughed. "You realise that you also just insulted Cheryl."

"I'm not insulted," Cheryl said. "Just means I'm dating down."

"Too right you are," Sweetpea added and Toni flipped him the bird.

Cheryl was beginning to feel tired, slumping against Toni’s side while the other girl talked animatedly with everyone in the room. Cheryl watched Peaches continue to play her game, interjecting every now and then with a sarcastic comment or to whisper something to Mel. She looked very placid, and Cheryl could imagine that she spent a lot of time sitting idly and playing games.

"She just doesn't look like the kind of person to put a giant squid in a lake for kicks," Cheryl murmured to Toni .

"Oh, please," Toni sighed. "She spent all of sophomore year firing spit balls at me. Peaches is definitely a part of this counter-prankster business."

"And Mel?" Cheryl asked.

"Possibly. Wouldn't put it past her. Their whole group, actually. Mel would love the sneaking out at night. They have another friend, Emmaline, who's really smart. And Kevin. Although I've ruled them out because I don't think it would be Kev’s thing."

"Why not?"

Toni looked thoughtful as she formulated her answer. "He’s tricky, and can use the system to his advantage. Phillips especially, he's such a wimp. And he’s not above teasing. But pranks... They seem to be too childish for him. He loves theatre. Theatre kids aren’t as devious as you’d think.”

"So you agree?" Cheryl asked with a smile.

Toni furrowed her brows. "Agree with what?"

"That pranks are childish."

Toni poked her tongue out at her as Cheryl laughed.

"I'm starting to think it's some Northsiders," Toni told her “I'll have to infiltrate their group some more to get more information."

"Oh, my God," Cheryl heard through the ambient noise of chatter. "Are you still talking about that?"

It was Mel, apparently listening into the girls’ conversation.

"So what if I am?" Toni asked defensively. "What's it to you?"

"It's hurting my ears," Mel said bluntly. "Just give up already."

"I will never give up!" Toni proclaimed, jostling Cheryl as she threw her arms in the air.

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Cheryl heard Kevin mutter to Fangs, who just nodded sadly.

Cheryl turned to Mel, subtly elbowing Toni in the ribs. "So, you're saying you have no interest in finding out who these people are?" Cheryl asked her.

"None," Mel said quickly.

"Not even a little curious?" Toni added.

"Not even a little."

"How about you, Peaches?" Cheryl asked, trying to keep the bitter tone out of her voice. "Personally, I think a fake squid in a lake was a bit weak."

"The squid was good," Peaches said defensively, ruining her nonchalance by looking up from her game.

Toni sighed wistfully. "When I find these people, I sure have a lot to teach them."

"They don't need your help," Mel told her. "They're doing just fine."

"You think so?" Cheryl tried to sound sceptical.

"Yes," Mel piped up firmly, causing Toni to grin widely.

"I thought you said you didn't care about all this," she said slyly.

"Oh, stop it!" Kevin shouted suddenly. "Fine, can you keep a secret?"

"You know I can, Songbird," Toni said happily, leaning forward in her seat and grinning at him. Cheryl could tell by the look on his face that he had already regretted his outburst.

Kevin pursed his lips, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back into Fangs. "You already know what I'm going to tell you," he said stubbornly.

"I'd like to hear you say it," Toni sing-songed.

"The rest of you have to swear an oath, too." Kevin turned around, pointing at each of the group. Jughead had a mouthful of finger foods shoved in his mouth, and apparently hadn't been following the conversation, but agreed to stay silent, Betty vouching for him.

"I swear on Bart’s life that I will not repeat what has been said here," Joaquin said with a hand over his heart.

"Bro, that's a bit much," his friend told him. "At least swear on Mols' life."

"I'm not gonna kill Molly," Joaquin shrieked. "If it came down to it, I'd rather it be you. She'd be scary as a ghost."

"Joaquin, are you already saying that you can't keep this secret?" Kevin asked. "Because if that's the case, leave the room, please."

Joaquin looked thoughtful for a minute, then finally exited the room.

"He... actually did it," Cheryl said in wonder. Toni laughed.

"Fine, now that we're all in agreement," Kevin sighed, "I'll tell you, Toni. Yes, we are what you have called 'the counter-pranksters'." Kevin looked like he was swallowing glass just saying the name, the grimace on his face deepening as Toni spoke.

"Tell me, specifically, who is in your little group of pranksters?"

Cheryl wondered how many times Toni and Kevin competed against each other, how many times they tried to best the other, because to Cheryl, Toni sounded way too smug for the situation and Kevin looked far too pained.

But it was Mel who cracked, groaning dramatically. "It's me, Peaches, Mel, and Kev. Happy?"

Cheryl didn't think it was possible, but Toni’s smile grew wider. "Very happy," she said contently. "I knew it was you four all along."

"No you didn't." Kevin rolled his eyes. "Someone tell Joaquin he can come back in now."

"Aw, are we done talking about it?" Toni pouted.

"Yes," Kevin said evasively, and by then Joaquin had come back into the room and Toni dropped the subject.

Cheryl watched with mild amusement as Toni sunk in her seat, shoving potato chips moodily into her mouth, and only brightening when Fangs declared the Mario Kart tournament to be back on.

"Now," she told Cheryl in confidence, "I take my revenge on Keller."

Cheryl heard Kevin snort from the other side of the room.

And so the tournament began.

*

"I can't believe I lost," Toni said when the tournament finished.

Frankly, Cheryl could believe it a little, although she wasn't really one to comment on the karting abilities of others. Just like her true-to-life driving skills, Cheryl acted on caution and safe rather than speed, even though she knew nothing particularly catastrophic would happen if she were to crash.

"It's something about the red shells," Cheryl whined. "They scare me."

"So you kept yourself in last place on purpose?" Toni asked.

Cheryl had shrugged. She honestly preferred playing games on her own, or watching others play, but they had insisted that she have a turn. It was just her luck she was up against Kevin and Mel, as well as Peaches, who was in her girlfriend’s ear the whole time.

Most of them had gone back to school once Kevin was declared winner, only barely coming first to Peaches. Cheryl sat on the Whyrm’s front step with Toni, Betty and the boys, waiting for her mum to show up before they headed back to school too.

"We'll have to have a rematch during the summer," Toni decided, getting nods and quiet pledges in agreement.

The cool breeze of the night tore right through Cheryl, so she huddled in closer to Toni who threw her arm around her seemingly without thought.

"Or we could try a new game," Sweetpea suggested hopefully.

Fangs smirked at him. "Like what?"

"Snap," he said. "You know, the card game."

"Ah," Toni said knowingly, "You mean the game that's entirely up to chance and not skill?"

"Yeah," Sweetpea replied glumly.

"Hey, I like that." Jughead’s eyes were alight with an idea, twinkling in the starlight and with excitement. "We can tape some bang-snaps to the cards so when you snap the card it pops. We'll call it Exploding Snap."

"Bang snaps?" Cheryl asked.

"Novelty fireworks," Betty explained. "They won't hurt you. They're the things that make party poppers pop."

Jughead kissed her cheek and puffed his chest out proudly at the blonde’s explanation.  
Cheryl shook her head. "Well, I look forward to setting the Serpent grounds on fire, this summer then boys."

"Oh, it'll be fine." Fangs waved her off. "They're tiny and held inside paper that doesn't catch on fire. Kev, you in?"

"And no cheating," Toni cut in before he could say anything. "No practicing snap with Peaches."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "I'm in. Winner gets to snap a card on Toni’s face."

"Deal," Jughead said while Toni squawked indignantly.

"And if I win?" She asked.

There was silence filled in only by actual crickets, much to Cheryl’s amusement, as Toni grew grumpier by each passing second.

"I'll show you all," she said, subconsciously pulling Cheryl in closer. "I'll win at Exploding Snap."

Cheryl patted her on the knee reassuringly and kissed her on the cheek. "Sure, love."

“Maybe we should get you a serpent jacket,” Jughead piped up, craning his neck to look at the redhead “You know, make you one of us officially so if you set the Serpent trailers on fire you’ll be fucked too.” 

Toni’s smile couldn’t get any brighter at the insinuation, looking hopefully down at the redhead who just bit her lip anxiously.   
Toni’s warm hand folded over hers just as a set of headlights blared into their eyes. Cheryl had to squint to make out the dark silhouette of one of her parents in the driver's seat, but even then she couldn't be sure which one it was.

She said goodbye to everyone as she stood, Toni standing with her and kissing her quickly on the lips in farewell. Cheryl smiled, squeezed her hand before walking to the car and slipping into the passenger's seat.

"So, that's her," Clifford greeted her.

"Yep," Cheryl said lightly, turning to look out the passenger window to watch the boys playfully wrestle while Betty laughed with her head thrown back, Kevin joining in and picking Toni up with one arm. 

Her father just nodded, honking the horn at the group of teenagers and waving before pulling out of the driveway.

Cheryl fell asleep on her way home.

*  
Friday AM

(10:03) -Toni-  
What a wild night, huh?

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
I'm just so exhausted from all the craziness.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
The Serpents really know how to put on a party.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
It was nice, though. But I need to practice my Mario Kart skills.

(10:07) -Toni-  
I'm sure Kevin will teach you. He seems to really like you.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
Really? I was co-conspirator to revealing his darkest secret.

(10:11) -Toni-  
That's just mild character flaw. He’ll get over it.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
And you said it would be 'too childish' for him.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Well! I still think it is!

(10:16) -Toni-  
I need to find the motive.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Oh dear.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Just leave him be, TT. Is 'last year of high school' not good enough motive?

(10:19) -Toni-  
I guess you're right. I'll ask Fangs, though. Also if they wanted any help.

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
I'm sure they'll fall at your feet.

(10:23) -Toni-  
They better! I’m the master!

(10:24) -Toni-  
They've had Fangs helping them though. So I guess they must be doing alright.

(10:26) -Toni-  
They haven't been caught yet. Or even suspected.

(10:29) -Toni-  
Yeah. Except me. I suspected them.

(10:31) -Cheryl-  
Sure, love.

(10:32) -Toni-  
I totally did!

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
You keep saying that. I have work to do.

(10:36) -Toni-  
Nerd. Fiiiiiine I'll be hereeeee all on my oooooown

(10:38) -Cheryl-  
Don't you also have work?

(10:39) -Toni-  
Probably... if I were paying attention...

(10:41) -Cheryl-  
Pay attention.

(10:42) -Toni-  
Or else what?

(10:50) -Toni-  
Bombshell?

(11:04) -Toni-  
Oh I get it, this is the punishment. I see. Well, jokes on you. I just wasted twenty minutes wondering if you died instead of doing work.

*

Friday MIDDAY

(12:32) -Cheryl-  
It alarms me that you 'wondered' whether I was dead instead of 'panicking'.

(12:34) -Toni-  
Well, you were being mean to me. It's what you get.

(12:35) -Cheryl-  
This seems incredibly harsh.

(12:36) -Cheryl-  
Hey, what are we doing tomorrow?

(12:37) -Toni-  
It's a surprise.

(12:38) -Cheryl-  
Oh, come on.

(12:39) -Toni-  
Let's just say that you might want to dust off your floral dress

(12:40) -Cheryl-  
I wore it to Fangs's, it's at the drycleaners.

(12:42) -Toni-  
Ah, the incredibly slow drycleaners.

(12:43) -Cheryl-  
So, sorry, can't make it. Unless I knew what it was.

(12:44) -Toni-  
Not telling. You can't fool me.

(12:45) -Cheryl-  
You're annoying.

(12:46) -Toni-  
Not as annoying as your constant questioning.

(12:48) -Cheryl-  
Where shall I tell my mother and father that I'm going?

(12:48) -Toni-  
Riverdale Police Station?

(12:50) -Toni-  
If you give me their number then I’ll tell them. But I'll also make them swear a blood oath not to tell you.

(12:51) -Cheryl-  
This is ridiculous. Where are we going!

(12:53) -Toni-  
It's a seeeeeeecret.

(12:54) -Toni-  
Babe, you'll find out soon enough. Have patience!

(12:55) -Cheryl-  
Fine. But I'll be grumpy about it.

(12:57) -Toni-  
I can live with that.

*

Friday PM

(3:54) -Juggy-  
I don't mean to alarm anyone but there's a pig in our hall?

(3:56) -Fangs-  
That's Miss Piggy.

(3:57) -Juggy-  
Oh, of course. Here I was, thinking it was Babe.

(3:59) -Fangs-  
Babe is in the band wing.

(3:59) -Sweets-  
Wait, are we talking about real pigs or like piñatas.

(4:01) -Juggy-  
Real pigs, Pea. Real pigs.

(4:02) -Fangs-  
Can you only see one? There's meant to be more.

(4:03) -Toni-  
Oh and let me guess, they're named Piglet and Wilbur?

(4:03) -Fangs-  
Nah, Snowball and Squealer.

(4:04) -Toni-  
Huh?

(4:04) -Fangs-  
From Animal Farm.

(4:05) -Juggy-  
Fucking nerds.

(4:05) -Juggy-  
THE PIGS ARE HERE

(4:05) -Toni-  
WHY ARE THEY NUMBERED?

(4:05) -Sweets-  
Why are they wearing wigs?

(4:06) -Fangs-  
Just for fun.

(4:07) -Toni-  
Honestly, where did Kevin get pigs from?!

(4:08) -Fangs-  
Mel has family that live on a farm. They were kind enough to donate them.

[Cher-Moo was added to the conversation]

(4:09) -Toni-  
They have released pigs into the halls, Cheryl.

(4:10) -Cheryl-  
That's a classic prank.

(4:11) -Juggy-  
But why are they numbered?

(4:12) -Fangs-  
When Honey collects them and finds that they can't find the pig labeled number 4.

(4:13) -Sweets-  
Ah, I get it. Because there is no pig labeled number 4.

(4:14) -Fangs-  
You're quick on the uptake there, Sweets!

(4:15) -Juggy-  
I just hope we don't get blamed for this.

(4:16) -Toni-  
Really? I’ll gladly take credit.

(4:17) -Fangs-  
Stop mooching off my boyfriends success!

(4:18) -Toni-  
I wouldn't have to mooch if someone paid attention to me!

(4:19) -Fangs-  
Alright Toni, what would you like to do?

(4:20) -Toni-  
I'd like to fry up one of these pigs, to be honest.

(4:20) -Cheryl-  
No! Do not cause the pigs harm!

(4:21) -Juggy-  
I'll eat it up. Pork, ham, bacon, I'll even eat the hoof.

(4:22) -Fangs-  
They're not hoofs. Horses have hoofs!

(4:22) -Fangs-  
Hoofs? Hooves?

(4:23) -Juggy-  
They're called pig trotters.

(4:24) -Toni-  
Google says 'pettitoes'

(4:25) -Sweets-  
That's adorable!

(4:26) -Cheryl-  
How is it that I leave for two seconds and you're talking about pig's feet?

(4:26) -Toni-  
Please, Cheryl, at least use their scientific name.

(4:27) -Cheryl-  
TT, Jughead, please don't eat the pettitoes.

(4:28) -Juggy-  
What about the rest of the pig?

(4:28) -Cheryl-  
Perhaps not the rest of the pig either.

(4:29) -Toni-  
What if I put an apple in its mouth like they do in the movies?

(4:29) -Fangs-  
Guys, if you so much as touch one hair on their chinny chin chins, I will rain down on you like a gust of wind.

(4:30) -Juggy-  
Fine, I won't touch your precious pigs.

(4:30) - Toni-  
Whateverrrrr

(4:31) -Fangs-  
You better not. If you eat one of those pigs, Mel will eat you.

(4:32) -Toni-  
Yeah, I'd rather not.

(4:32) - Cheryl-  
You sure about that? Huh? What about Peaches?

(4:33) - Toni-  
Ew!!! No, it was one date!

(4:33) -Fangs-  
Exactly. Thanks Cheryl. Remember the fear that is Mel before you try anything.

(4:34) -Fangs-  
In times of doubt, just think: WMEMFT? Would Mel Eat Me For This?

(4:35) -Juggy-  
That's a good moral scale. I'll keep it in mind.

(4:37) -Toni-  
Political assassination, WMEMFT?

(4:38) -Sweets-  
Probably not!

(4:39) -Toni-  
Then I'm going to go for it.

(4:39) -Fangs-  
Time to kill the serpent girl.

(4:41) -Toni-  
Woah, hang on.

(4:42) -Fangs-  
Here I come.

(4:43) -Toni-  
Bye!!

*

(6:52) -Toni-  
They've caught nine pigs.

(6:53) -Cheryl-  
Out of?

(6:54) -Toni-  
Nine. But they think they can't find number four.

(6:57) -Cheryl-  
And so the wild goose chase begins.

(6:59) -Toni-  
The janitor is stalking the halls, muttering to himself. I think he's going crazy. Serves him right for letting his inbred cat (or offspring) eat Sheba.

(7:01) -Cheryl-  
Leave him be, he's got a swine problem.

(7:02) -Toni-  
Swine flu died years ago, Bombshell.

(7:04) -Cheryl-  
And now it's back with a vengeance, just in a different form.

(7:07) -Toni-  
As long as I'm not the victim, it can stay.

(7:09) -Toni-  
Dinner time. Cya Moony.

(7:10) -Cheryl-  
Don't eat the pork... it might be in bad taste.

(7:11) -Toni-  
WMEMFT? Yes. So I won't.

(7:12) -Toni-  
Good. Bye.

*

(9:52) -Toni-  
Are you asleeeeeeep?

(9:54) -Cheryl-  
Not yet. Getting there.

(9:55) -Toni-  
Friday nights are wild for you, huh?

(9:55) -Cheryl-  
I'm all partied out from last night.

(9:57) -Toni-  
Yeah. My presence has that effect on people.

(9:58) -Cheryl-  
Exhausting them?

(10:00) -Toni-  
From a good time!

(10:00) -Cheryl-  
You complained the whole night. About Kevin, mostly.

(10:01) -Toni-  
Rest assured that that's all over now.

(10:02) -Cheryl-  
Oh?

(10:02) -Toni-  
Yeah, Fangs was telling me that the pranking thing is like a 'making up for lost time' thing.

(10:03) -Cheryl-  
How so?

(10:03) -Toni-  
Kevin used to have this friend on the Southside, but he was a greasy little slimeball. He says he tried to tell him what he could and couldn't do, who he could and couldn't talk to.

(10:04) -Cheryl-  
That doesn't sound healthy.

(10:05) -Toni-  
It's not. He finally dropped him at the start of the semester and just wants to have some fun before going to uni.

(10:06) -Cheryl-  
That's reasonable.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Yeah. Still trying to convince him to collaborate with me though.

(10:09) -Cheryl-  
Good luck on that.

(10:10) -Toni-  
Thanks. I'll need it.

(10:13) -Cheryl-  
I'm drifting off to sleep now.

(10:14) -Toni-  
Ready and excited for tomorrow?

(10:15) -Cheryl-  
I can't be excited for something I don't know about. More, apprehensive.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Jeez, Moony. Talk about optimism. And trust!

(10:18) -Cheryl-  
I'll be more excited once I've had a solid twelve hours sleep.

(10:18) -Toni-  
Twelve hours?!

(10:20) -Cheryl-  
Yes please.

(10:22) -Toni-  
Whatever floats your boat, Moons, but that's way too long.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Too bad, it's happening.

(10:25) -Cheryl-  
Good night Toni. Don't message me before 10:30.

(10:25) -Toni-  
Good night Cheryl.

*

Saturday AM

(9:00) -Toni-  
Good morning, Bombshell!

(9:00) -Cheryl-  
Fuck offffffffff

(9:01) -Toni-  
Alright, see ya later!

*

(11:32) -Toni-  
That was rude and inappropriate.

(11:35) -Cheryl-  
Just some harmless fun!

(11:36) -Cheryl-  
Was not harmless. You hurt my heart.

(11:37) -Toni-  
Shall I make it up to you?

(11:39) -Cheryl-  
Depends. How are you planning on doing that?

(11:40) -Toni-  
Be ready to go by 1.

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
Oh God

(11:41) -Cheryl-  
Ok, yes. Ok.

(11:42) -Toni-  
Great! See you soon!

*

Saturday PM

(1:08) -Toni-  
I'm outside your place. Didn't know if I should knock...

(1:08) -Cheryl-  
It's fine. I'll be out in a second.

*

Toni waited nervously, subconsciously hiding herself behind the Blossom’s front gate. The curtain shading the front window ruffles, a large head with a toupee looking mop peaking out to have a look at her, and before Toni knew what she was doing she fell to the ground and hid her head with her arms like an earthquake drill.

She was sure that was Mr. Blossom. The unfathomable evil from the Northside. Unless she was gravely mistaken, and that redheaded-blue blooded Penelope Blossom had some kind of condition that Cheryl didn't tell her about that made her start to bald and need the wig. Regardless, it was one of the Blossom parents. One of the Blossom parents that probably didn't like her. No, definitely didn’t like her.

She didn't notice Cheryl watching her from the mail box, just standing silently until Toni turned her head and jumped out of her skin.

"Babe!" Toni shouted as Cheryl cackled.

"What are you doing?" She asked, moving off the mail box to approach the girl.

"Does your mom wear a toupee?” Toni hissed instead, peering over the gate to watch the front window. She could see the silhouette of an older Blossom, still unsure which one, as they remained behind the curtain this time.

"My mother is a redhead," Cheryl said, with a slight laugh. "You most likely saw my dad. Thinning hair, and all that."

"Bad omen for you," Toni tried to joke. "Premature balding or being a redhead. Quite the pick you have.”

"You look like a stalker," Cheryl said flatly and lifted her bodily up from the ground. "Now take me to this mystery place."

Toni sprung into step, holding her hand out behind her for Cheryl to take. When her hand grabbed nothing but air she turned back to look at Cheryl, who was still laughing at Toni’s hiding act. Toni whined until Cheryl followed, taking her hand and allowing Toni to lead them to to her repossessed bike without a word.

She tossed her her own helmet, badgering her to take it despite the redhead’s own being a few feet away; insisting that if her father caught her on the back of a Serpent’s bike grounding would be the least in terms of punishment. 

She hoped this was a good idea. She wasn't even sure if Cheryl remembered, but watching her look happily at the passing trees assured Toni that it probably didn't matter where they went, Cheryl would be happy either way.

Probably less pleased if Toni took her to the outskirts of town to visit the run down oil mill, but that wasn't the plan, so Toni felt fine about it.

The ride itself was nice. Cheryl liked to point things at random things and tell an interesting fact about them, mostly types of trees and what birds liked to live there. Toni had to bite her tongue from making fun, not wanting to scare Cheryl into silence, or risk the other girl from leaning away from her lips being a few inches from her ear with arms encircled tightly around her waist, opting instead to listen with genuine interest as Cheryl talked about birds.

The bike ride to the centre of town didn't take long, but Toni was still practically skipping with impatience and dragging Cheryl behind her.

"Where are we going?" Cheryl asked for what was probably the tenth time since they left her mansion of a house.

"To have fun!" Toni replied, as she had replied every other time with.

She doesn't know why this was such a big deal to her. It would probably end up her appreciating the sentiment more than Cheryl, but there was something about this date in particular that made Toni think she'd been waiting for it forever.

Like as soon as she heard about it, she wanted to be the one to take Cheryl there.

They were getting close now, Cheryl’s angry mumbling quieting as they turned a corner and made their way up broad, concrete steps, entering the building with the jaws of a great white shark as the front doorway.

"Oh my God," Cheryl whispered as they stepped through the rows of teeth.

"Haven't been recently, have you?" Toni smirked at her. "I think they've got an Ancient Greece exhibition on at the moment – let's go freak out over some pots!"

"Pots with naked women on them," Cheryl added as they got to the ticket booth. "Don't forget that part."

"The most important part," Toni nodded. She fished around for some cash, paying for the tickets before Cheryl could protest, quickly grabbing her hand again and dragging her through the lobby. "But first, we have to look at the dinosaurs!"

Cheryl followed her easily through the museum, like Toni knew she would.   
She was pretty sure Cheryl would follow her into the actual jaws of a great white.   
But she would too.   
Do anything for the redheaded ball of nerves.

*

If Toni was held at gunpoint and forced to the tell the truth, then she would admit that she spent more time watching Cheryl looking at the exhibits than actually looking at the exhibits herself.

It wasn't that she found them boring, per say, she actually loved history, but she just liked it much better when Cheryl would excitedly read out the information cards to her instead. She also liked it when Cheryl would add in her own bits of information, and the way she'd stop in front of old documents to actually read them, and basically the entire trip was a giant Cheryl Exhibit for Toni.

So far, it was her favourite.

Even if Cheryl did point to the Neanderthal mannequins and tell Toni, "That's you," and doing the same with the disfigured taxidermy animals.

Even if Cheryl insisted on seeing the bug exhibit.

"We could just go into your backyard," Toni whined. She didn't exactly want to admit out loud that the bugs creeped her out, or, okay no, scared the living fuck out of her. It was another one of those admissions that would require a gun to the head, but she could already tell that Cheryl saw right through her.

"Don't worry, TT. They're all dead," she replied, eyes twinkling with mirth, as they walked past three consecutive tanks containing very large, very alive spiders.

Yes, Cheryl was her favourite exhibit, even if she did tickle her fingers down the sides of Toni’s neck while walking past the three consecutive tanks containing very large, very alive spiders, causing Toni to scream bloody murder and even have five year old children look at her as if she were the biggest baby around, and one security guard tell her to calm down or she'll be kicked out.

"You're wicked," she hissed at Cheryl, who looked anything but remorseful.

"You're jumpy." Cheryl smirked. "Ants in your pants?” She sing-songed, her fingers crawling down the brunette’s sides and to her waist, her hands stopping and curling into the belt loops when the pinkette shrieked;  
"Not funny!"

But Toni’s favourite part was the star gazing room, with the planets and constellations projected onto a dome ceiling, and Cheryl practically sat on her lap on one of the provided beanbags. Her favourite part was when Cheryl looked away from the faux night sky and kissed her softly on the lips, words of thank you hushed in the air between them.

*

Toni was, by now, well accustomed the Blossom’s front gate.

"Just ten minutes," Cheryl sighed. "You can't avoid them forever."

Clutching to the cast iron gate, Toni honestly considered just that.

"They don't hate you," Cheryl sighed again “It’s inevitable you meet them.”

"How would you know? You're biased."

"Am not."

"You see what you want," Toni insisted.

Cheryl folded her arms over her chest, raising her chin defiantly to stand a few inches over the other girl. "What I see is my sorry excuse for a punk rock gang member girlfriend cowering behind a fence because she doesn't want to meet the parents."

Her ass was starting to go numb from sitting on the hard ground for so long, but she made no effort to move.

"Isn't it too soon in the relationship for this?" Toni was grasping at straws, and once again, she knew Cheryl could see right through her.

"I've met the Jones’. Your turn."

Toni pouted. "But the Jones’ like you."

"And my parents will like you too, once they actually meet you. Don't you want to fix your tarnished reputation?"

Toni thought for a moment, slowly rising from the ground, keeping a hold onto the fence for support. "But I didn't wear a tie."

Cheryl smacked her upside the head, but then took her hand and led her up the front path, growling lowly in a way that threatened Toni’s well being every time her heels subconsciously dig into the cobblestone to stop her from moving.

"Oh," Cheryl remembered. "Pretend like you've never been here before. There's only so much I can admit to before they send me away to live with my Uncle Alphard to learn proper manners."

"Learning manners from Alphard sounds like a bad idea," Toni said, snorting in response to the girl’s dark gaze.

She took a deep breath as Cheryl opened the front door, keeping the air in her lungs while she stepped through the threshold. Cheryl called out to her parents, telling them that Toni had come in to say hello, and suddenly all of the air evaporated from Toni’s chest.

She’d beaten the life out of men three times her size, grew up and roughed it in a trailer park, joined a gang. And yet nothing came so close to being the scariest moment of her life.

"Shit," she whispered, but Cheryl held on tight to her hand, a reassuring squeeze as a familiar red head and its balding partner came into view.

"Hello, Toni," Penelope greeted pleasantly. Toni had to let go of Cheryl to shake her hand, cringing at the feeling of her clammy hands meeting the smooth ones of the older woman. "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"P-pleasure to meet you too," Toni stuttered out and before she knew it, the unfathomable evil Clifford Blossom was in front of her with his toupee looking hair, and shaved moustache turned up to a cautious smile.

"Toni," Clifford said gruffly.

"Sir," she replied, taking in a sharp intake of air and feeling her nerves settle with the overwhelming scent of Cheryl’s unique blend of Rose shampoo and something completely her own.

"You don't plan on spending a life in crime, do you?" Clifford asked. Penelope burst into laughter, smacking her husband on the shoulder and telling him to stop.

"No, sir," Toni said, still unsure whether he was joking or not.

"Well, that's disappointing," Clifford replied. "There's some money in the industry. As I’m sure your...” he cleared his throat “Friends,” he empathized with a bit of bitterness “have taught you.”

"The... crime industry?”

Cheryl sighed. "Dad, stop messing with her."

Clifford giggled, a high pitched sound that surprised Toni, then rubbed Cheryl on the back.

"Couldn't resist," Clifford laughed. "She looks so scared."

"Well, she was under the impression that you thought of her as a bad influence and a phase," Cheryl said quite sternly.

Clifford stopped laughing, nodding to his daughter and turning back to the frightened looking teen. "Thank you for... looking after her. I may not agree with your... choices, in life and association, but you’ve proven...” it was as if the words hurt to say, as he turned briefly to look at his daughter “To he completely different.”

Toni was taken aback. It wasn't quite an apology, which she truthfully didn't even know if she deserved, but it was acceptance enough. It reassured her, at least, that Clifford wasn’t going to be causing Cheryl anymore stress. She may not be as violent as some of the other Serpent’s, but having been raised with the ideation of always protecting ones own was searing in the back of her mind like a ticking time bomb. 

"No problem. You keep at it, too."

"I will,” Clifford said sincerely, and wrapped an arm around Cheryl’s shoulder and jostled her playfully.

Toni finally inhaled again.

*

(10:03) -Toni-  
This summer, I'll take you to the beach.

(10:05) -Cheryl-  
I do like long walks on the beach.

(10:07) -Cheryl-  
Just as I like long walks at the museum.

(10:08) -Toni-  
Yes, you do. I think my feet have permanent disfigurement from standing for so long.

(10:11) -Cheryl-  
Says the athlete.

(10:12) -Toni-  
Knowledge gives me allergies. I'm sick from the museum.

(10:14) -Cheryl-  
And you suffered through it all, for me.

(10:16) -Toni-  
Anything for you, babe.

(10:17) -Cheryl-  
Thank you. Today was a dream.

(10:19) -Toni-  
It's never a problem. I’d do anything to make you happy, Cher.

(10:21) -Cheryl-  
Good night, Toni.

(10:22) -Toni-  
Sweet dreams, Cheryl.

*

Sunday MIDDAY

(12:42) -Cheryl-  
If you had anything that you wanted to say to me, it's best you say it now.

(12:45) -Toni-  
I secretly adore your dorky sweaters.

(12:46) -Cheryl-  
Aw, thank you TT.

(12:46) -Toni-  
Wait, why am I telling you this?

(12:48) -Cheryl-  
I'm currently in a car with Teen Tragic.

(12:48) -Toni-  
Ok... have you lost your mind?

(12:49) -Cheryl-  
Slightly. A lot. And soon my mind is going to be splattered on asphalt.

(12:51) -Toni-  
Please, no. I also secretly adore your dorky mind.

(12:52) -Cheryl-  
I'm in the backseat, so if there's a front-on collision I think I'll be ok.

(12:55) -Toni-  
What possessed you to agree to this?

(12:57) -Cheryl-  
The promise that I could sleep in.

(12:59) -Cheryl-  
Betty and I are going on a campus tour.

(1:04) -Toni-  
Not Teen Tragic himself?

(1:05) -Cheryl-  
He's taking a gap year. Betty is interested in their detective work course.

(1:06) -Toni-  
And you? What are your plans for the future?

(1:08) -Cheryl-  
I ... might be having a look at their education department.

(1:10) -Toni-  
Good, Bombshell.

(1:13) -Cheryl-  
Have you been looking at any universities?

(1:15) -Toni-  
I've read through some websites and course guides and stuff. Looking at early admission, my grades strangely enough are pretty damn good. They all seem alright. I'll probably go wherever Jughead goes. He’s a genius. Got a full ride to the University of Iowa.

(1:17) -Cheryl-  
Really?

(1:18) -Toni-  
Yeah. Sweets has already qualified for this online course he wants to do, and Fangs is probably just gonna complete Senior year with Kevin.

(1:19) -Toni-  
Oh, we plan on finding a house we can share together.

(1:21) -Cheryl-  
After already living with them for so long?

(1:23) -Toni-  
Yeah. We're used to each other.

(1:25) -Cheryl-  
Betty is looking to move out, too. She seems keen on a dorm on campus. And, how strange! She’s suddenly super taken with the idea of University of Iowa!

(1:28) -Toni-  
And what about you?

(1:30) -Cheryl-  
Betty only just presented the idea to me. I haven't decided.

(1:31) -Cheryl-  
Alright, we're here. Talk to you later.

(1:31) -Toni-  
Glad you made it alive! Bye!

*  
(1:30) - Toni-  
I’m gonna do it 

(1:30) - Fangs-  
Really? Dude!

(1:31) - Sweets-  
YES FUCK YES

(1:31) - Jug-  
You better not be messing with us. If you are I might cry.

(1:32) - Toni-  
I love you, idiots.

*  
Sunday PM

(2:12) -Cheryl-  
There are so many lounge chairs. In such fancy leather and fireplaces in like, every room!

(2:20) -Cheryl-  
They have a room specifically for napping.

(2:44) -Cheryl-  
I may have already taken advantage of that room.

(2:52) -Cheryl-  
Someone just asked me if I'd like to join their soccer team. They said it didn't matter when I told them I have a medical condition.

(3:01) -Toni-  
Sorry babe, playing football.

(3:01) -Toni-  
So, did you join the soccer team?

(3:03) -Cheryl-  
Goodness, no.

(3:04) -Cheryl-  
But it was so weird. They didn't even bat an eye.

(3:06) -Toni-  
The world is yours for the taking, Bombshell.

(3:09) -Cheryl-  
The campus is nice. It's a little big. It's a bit overwhelming.

(3:10) -Toni-  
I thought that about Southside when I first started. It'll look small in no time.

(3:14) -Cheryl-  
I can also study education and disability education at the same time. Most other universities have disability education as an extra course.

(3:20) -Toni-  
Sounds like you like it there, Bombshell.

(3:22) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. Betty is quite interested, too.

(3:23) -Cheryl-  
We're getting something to eat. Talk to you later.

*

(10:34) -Cheryl-  
My feet hurt, but like a good hurt.

(10:35) -Toni-  
I'm surprised you're still awake. I didn't text you earlier because I thought you would be sleeping.

(10:36) -Cheryl-  
We visited another campus but we didn't like it as much. Just didn't feel right.

(10:38) -Toni-  
You mean you survived another trip with Teen Tragic?

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
Shockingly, yes. We're all surprised, but also proud.

(10:39) -Cheryl-  
I'm on Betty’s floor now. She's already fallen asleep.

(10:40) -Toni-  
Time you did too?

(10:40) -Cheryl-  
Yeah. I'm still going to be dead tomorrow.

(10:41) -Toni-  
But it's a good tired?

(10:43) -Cheryl-  
It is. I feel good. Since you convinced me to try university... I don't know. I feel like I can do this.

(10:44) -Toni-  
Moony, I'm confident you can do anything you want. And I feel that way too. Idk, I guess it’s just something about those puppy dog eyes.

(10:45) -Cheryl-  
Just gotta pass the exams.

(10:47) -Toni-  
You're a nerd, you'll do fine. So will I.

(10:48) -Cheryl-  
We're going to be alright, aren't we?

(10:48) -Toni-  
Yeah, Moony. We're going to be more than alright.


	17. Serpentina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue!!
> 
> This last one kinda sucked but that’s okay :) I’m not a pro writer and I just rlly loved writing this story. Thank you all so much for the love and support on this story! It means the world to me and inspires me to keep writing :)

Saturday AM

(8:34) -Sweetpea-  
Beep beep, motherfucker!

(8:34) -Jughead-  
Get your ass out here!

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Hey! Give me a bit!

(8:35) -Cheryl-  
Stop honking!

(8:36) -Toni-  
It’s Sweetpea. He had chocolate for breakfast, so now he’s on a sugar high.

(8:37) -Cheryl-  
Damn it, Pea, you’ve been told!

(8:38) -Juggy-  
I scolded him for you. Those two aggressive beeps were his response.

(8:38) -Cheryl-  
I’ll be two seconds, just calm down.

(8:39) -Toni-  
Come on, Cheryl! Beep beep! Let’s go be Adults!

(8:39) -Cheryl-  
Don’t use the A word.

(8:40) -Juggy-  
Then get a move on. How much stuff do you have?

(8:40) -Cheryl-  
Gotta pack my emotional baggage. Now stop texting.

*

Cheryl looked around her empty room with a heavy sigh.

She didn’t feel anxious, not how she expected to be. She already had a feeling of homesickness, even if all of her belongings were right in front of her in bags and boxes, and her mother and father stood at the door watching her. Cheryl imagined that they felt worse, their only, and chronically ill, child leaving the house at just age eighteen.

Sometimes Cheryl wondered what kind of madness possessed her to do such a thing, but other times she heard Toni talk on and on about what they would do in their shard house, and Cheryl felt excited again.  
That madness was Toni. Toni constantly driving her to do unpredictable things she never even thought about before, nor knew existed. 

“It’s alright if you change your mind,” Penelope spoke up softly. “You know Toni and everyone will understand.” Cheryl’s mom stepped further into the room, smoothing a bit of Cheryl’s hair down “Just because it’s my Alma Mater doesn’t mean you have to attend Highsmith College”

Cheryl nodded silently, still looking around her old – was it old yet? – bedroom.  
All that remained as a reminder of her life were the canopy bed and large pieces of mahogany that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase.

A buzzing came from her pocket.

(8:45) -Toni-  
Get in loser, we’re going University-ing.

She smiled, about to type a reply when another message came through.

(8:45) -Sweetpea-  
Have your parents held you captive? It’s okay, we’ve already dealt with FP. We’re experts at this now.

Cheryl took a deep breath, then collected the bags in front of her, and asked her parents if they could take the boxes.

She wasn’t going to back out of it now.

*

Toni was sure sick as hell of the Beatles.

“Don’t you have any other artists on your phone?” She groaned at Sweetpea, who was looking more than annoyed in the driver’s seat.

“I’ve got Rolling Stones,” he said. “I’ve also got ‘Toni Can Fuck Off With That Face of Hers’.”

“And what face is that?” Toni asked innocently, still scrolling through the tall boy’s phone in a desperate attempt to magically conjure up some decent music.

“The face that says everyone around you are idiots and have no taste,” Cheryl piped up from where she slid into the backseat, bordered by bags and boxes of belongings.

Sweetpea made eye contact with her in the rearview mirror and shot his thumb up in a sign of solidarity. Jughead just groaned and rolled his head back against the headrest.

“Fangs would agree with me,” Toni said petulantly. “I’ll ask him later.”

Sweetpea slowed the car practically to a stop to turn the next corner, all four of them keeping silent as he edged the car around. He let out an audible sigh of relief when they made it, car and passengers all in tact.

“When’s he finishing with Kevin’s stuff?” Sweetpea asked once he was sure they weren’t going to get into an accident and there wasn’t going to be a random dog jumping into the street on a suicide mission like every driving instructor video portrayed, brutally, before he could get his licence.

When Clifford handed him the keys to Cheryl’s car, it wasn’t without a long lecture and threats they all knew he was good for radiating his apprehensiveness giving the Serpent a key to his daughter’s birthday gift.

“He said about middle of the afternoon.” Toni shrugged, then leaned forward in her seat to look at Jughead. “Heard from Betty? How’s she settling in?”

“Fine,” Jughead said, a warm smile gracing his features. “She’s already getting her detective on. It’s super hot.”

Cheryl flicked him in the neck, narrowing her eyes at him from where she craned her neck to scowl at him “That’s my cousin you’re talking about hobo,”

“Guess that makes her my bride. Anyway, I invited her to Kevin’s senior year bash.”

Sweetpea looked panicked, partly from the looming fear of Clifford’s threats in the air and the insinuation of Betty coming to a Southside party. “Is that really a good idea? Betty seems like a nice, straight laced girl. No mischief.”

“Pea, when did you become such a stick in the mud?” Cheryl asked. She tapped Sweetpea on the head, causing him to jump in his seat and swerve the car slightly. 

“Am not!” he protested. “I’m just remembering graduation!”

“Oh, I did tell Betty about that. She thought burning ‘Class of 2019’ into the school oval was a great idea.”

Sweetpea sighed in defeat.

“Graduation was cool,” Toni added. “Just because you nearly caught on fire doesn’t mean it was bad for the rest of us.”

Cheryl hummed. “Well, that would put a damper on things.”

Toni was about to go for another round of making fun of Sweetpea when her phone chimed in her hand.

(9:34) -Fangs Fagorty-  
Hey, nearly done with everything here. Didn’t take as long as we expected. You got Cheryl?

(9:34) -Toni-  
Yeah, we got her. We’ll be there in 10

Toni looked at the girl beside her and smiled, Cheryl catching her eye and smiling with confusion lacing her features “What?”

The redhead glanced around the car, seeing the same smile on each boy’s face “What!”

Sweetpea turned another corner sharply, Cheryl’s corvette bumping over the rocky and uneven terrain as they went down a side road, Jughead laughing each time the car hit a ditch in the road “What the fuck, Sweetpea! What happened to being scared shitless!” Cheryl shouted over the roaring engine as it tried to make it safely down the road, accompanied by the booming bass from the music Jughead suddenly decided to crank up “Where are we going?! The schools back that way!” 

Toni nipped at her lip furiously, glancing at the girl sitting rigidly beside her. Over the summer she’d abandoned the argyle sweaters and glasses for an older, more defined look. When Cheryl first walked in with red lipstick and a short skirt Toni nearly fainted if it weren’t for Sweetpea holding her up by the shoulder. 

She interlaced their hands, leaning over to kiss the girl on the cheek. “Just trust me. Do you trust me?”

Cheryl looked her in the eyes, swirling with honey and warmth, Toni’s own deep and kind. The redhead nodded, squeezing the brunette’s hair reassuringly “Of course.” 

“FUCK YEAAAAAH BABY!!!!” Sweetpea hollered from the front seat as the car left the pavement and soared over the train tracks separating the South and North side.

“What are we doing on the Southside?” Cheryl asked, looking bewildered as the trees whirred by in a flash. “Well, babe, I just... I wanted to do something for you. Yknow?” She took in a deep breath as they approached the lake where several familiar faces gathered “You deserve so much more then the hand you’ve been dealt so, just go with it, okay?”

Cheryl nodded apprehensively, following Toni out of the car, their hands finding eachother immediately as the two boys raced toward the keg.

Cheryl took in the sight before her. It was the opposite side of Sweetwater river, and if she tried she could probably find where Jason drowned all the years back, but she took a step forward, taking in a deep breath of the fall morning. The air was crisp, and the warmth radiated from the bonfire sitting snuggly in the middle of a bunch of teenagers. She casted her eyes around. Veronica, Archie, Betty, Fangs and Kevin were chatting excitedly, laughing as they chugged down their clear cups filled with questionable dark purple liquid. She approached with Toni, greeting them all tentatively, pulling Toni closer into her side to whisper in her ear, “You can drink if you want, you don’t need to be careful around me.” 

Since they’d been dating, Toni hadn’t touched a drop of liquor and Cheryl felt the guilt bubbling in the pit of her stomach at the sight of their friends amusement. Toni seemed to notice, and cupped Cheryl’s cheek; leaning into the warmth of the brunette’s palm “I don’t need alcohol to have fun. I have you. That’s all I could ever ask for.” Her voice was captivating, like it was dripping with sap from a tree and Cheryl was sure no matter how many times she heard the other girl speak she’d never fully wrap her mind around the perfection that she got to call hers. Cheryl nodded, looking out at the cloudy sky. A giant almost tarot looking poster was hanging from a poll, Serpentina embedded beautifully in the fabric. 

The boys each grabbed a beer, branching off as the two girls made their way to the river, laughing and stumbling over themselves as they tried to walk with their legs locked together like a potato sack race. The water was cold as ice, and it made Cheryl think about how precious these moments were. She remembered a time where she believed she’d never live long enough to experience these things for herself. And yet Toni Topaz came crashing into her life at her lowest, and even with a depleting immune system, she still found herself filled with more life then she could fathom.

FP whistled, stepping onto a makeshift stage to gather the group’s attention “Listen up now! Hey, listen up!”

The group quieted, the only sound the crackle from the fire and gentle wind creating ripples in the clear body of water.  
“Some 60 years ago, the first serpent meeting took place on these same river banks. It makes sense that this is where we gather now where I...” FP pursed his lips, blinking a few times as he mulled over his words “where I say my goodbye.”

The group looked on in in confusion as he extended a hand to Jughead “Jughead son, would you step up here.” 

The beanie clad boy looked around, uncertainty swimming in his dark eyes as he stood and made his way to his father, Sweetpea and Fangs stood with their jaws slack “Dad, what are you doing?” He murmured as the older Jones’ man grabbed onto his shoulder, looking up at the boy who had grown a few inches taller over the summer “What I should have done a long time ago.” He patted the boy reassuringly, looking back out onto the gathered Serpents and their friends “I’m retiring from the Serpents. For real” the crowd murmured their disapproval, and he hushed them by the simple motion of putting a hand up. It was crazy to Cheryl how much power and authority one man had over a bunch of presumed strays and bandits. “Woah. And my boy!” He shouted, patting Jughead on the chest a few times “My boy has never stopped fighting for this crew, hell, he almost died for it.”

Cheryl looked at her friends in puzzlement, her mouth ajar at the stiff looks on both Sweetpea and Fangs’ faces that she’d never seen on the usually such carefree boys “that’s why I’m giving you,” he turned to face his son fully “the mantle.” 

Without even a beat the crowd started cheering, as Jughead’s head snapped between the serpents and his father. Toni shoved Cheryl forward, clapping and smiling at her lifelong best friend, while the redhead just watched in awe at the display. She had no clue what the fuck the mantle was, other than briefly hearing about the passing of the metaphorical torch from one leader to the next generation. And, with all the smarts she had, came to the conclusion that this was that moment. Sweetpea laughed, smacking Fangs roughly on the back “Ow!” He grimaced, smacking his friend as his laughter washed away in the crowd’s cheering. Jughead bowed his head, trying to grasp at straws for any indication as to what was happening. “Now, as your first official duty as Serpent King,” he motioned toward Toni, who stepped away from her place beside Cheryl to approach the outstretched hand, pulling a bright red jacket from the bag she had slung around her all day long. “Think you know what to do with this,” FP smirked, curling up the collar of the jacket before handing it to his son. Jughead just looked up at his father, uncertainty and apprehension still stuck like gum to his face “Take it,” FP said softly, nudging the jacket at the younger serpent. Jughead smiled after a moment, grabbing the jacket as the group began to chant louder for the young king, Fangs and Sweetpea lifting their beers and knocking them till it overflowed, “Alright, alright all I can say is...” he stopped to look at FP who watched him from afar “Love you dad. And the Serpents will never die out. Not on my watch.” 

Toni pulled Cheryl’s jacket off, pushing the still blissfully unaware girl forward. He lifted his hand, urging the redhead forward, and maybe it was from the high of being around a group that quickly became like family or because of the warmth Toni filled her with; but Cheryl, with a new found confidence, strutted up to the stage, smiling shyly at the ground as the crowd’s cheers became deafening, taking her friends hand and stepping up beside him. Cheryl wordlessly turned, allowing him to slip the jacket onto her arms, tossing her red locks that were tucked under the leather that seemed to fit her just as perfectly as Toni’s hand fit into her’s. She grinned broadly as she shrugged it on, testing it out as she stretched her arms out a bit, looking down at the jacket around her. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion, the only thing she could focus on was the way Toni clutched her forgotten jacket to her chin, looking far beyond proud as she let out a whoop, her eyes moving from Jughead’s brilliant yet slightly slanted smile to Fangs and Sweetpea who were practically trying to dog pile each other, then to Betty and Archie, who looked like they were going to burst into tears at any moment, and to Veronica and Kevin who cheered her on.

And at that moment, nothing felt more perfect. “Welcome to the Serpents, Cheryl.” Jughead murmured in her ear, before hopping off the stage and making toward his friends who pushed him around.

Cheryl looked at Toni, the shock of it all finally settling in as the brunette pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, mumbling something incoherent into the red locks.

*

She’d been living with the boys longer than she had been living with her brother by this point, but the feeling of having a place of their own filled Toni with excitement. A place outside of the Serpent grounds. A place with constant warm water and heat. A place with food that she didn’t have to steal. A place no one knew everything about her and judged her for it. A place she could call home without being terrified of it being torn away from her within a blink of an eye.

Looking over her shoulder she watched Cheryl patiently reading GPS directions to a very frazzled Sweetpea, a fist of apprehension clutching her heart through the excitement. She’d never lived with Cheryl before, so far had only spent one night over at her house when they accidentally came back from a date a bit too late. Cheryl had stayed at the trailer a few times, but with people within a whisper away, it didn’t quite feel the same.

Even with them sharing the house with everyone, something about living with Cheryl without any adults – real adults – made Toni tight with fear.

(9:44) -Cheryl-  
Stop freaking out, I can see it in your face.

(9:44) -Toni-  
You’re meant to be reading directions.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
Sweetpea thinks he knows where he’s going now.

(9:45) -Toni-  
I don’t trust him.

(9:45) -Cheryl-  
I don’t care. Stop avoiding my call out.

(9:46) -Toni-  
I leave clothes all over the floor. Even in the kitchen.

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
I know.

(9:47) -Toni-  
And sometimes I snore and steal blankets.

(9:47) -Cheryl-  
I know. But I’m the queen of snoring.

(9:47) -Toni-  
Are you sure about this?

(9:48) -Cheryl-  
Yes, I am. Are you?

(9:48) -Toni-  
Yes. Don’t leave.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
I’m not going to. Not even after living with you for a lifetime. I’m sworn in by being in a gang now.

(9:49) -Cheryl-  
Want to know a secret?

(9:50) -Toni-  
What?

(9:51) -Cheryl-  
If it was okay with you, I wasn’t really on planning to use my room.

(9:51) -Toni-  
That’s 1000% perfectly okay with me.

(9:52) -Cheryl-  
Good. Now please play something that was at least made in the 21st century.

(9:52) -Toni-  
Believe me, I’m trying.

*

Fangs was there before them, Kevin’s place not so far from their own, and greeted them by throwing open the front door in nothing but his underwear and a blanket tied around his neck like a cape, shouting that the Marauder House was in business.

“I see that business isn’t in fashion retail,” Cheryl said and Fangs scoffed at her, pretending to flip his hair off his shoulder.

“There is no use for pants in the house,” Fangs proclaimed. “It’s the first rule on the Declaration of the Marauder House.”

“Rule number two,” Sweetpea said quickly, “No fire!”

Jughead and Betty hopped of his bike that he took for a spin around the new neighbourhood to help them unload the car, his things already thrown haphazardly into his assigned room. A box labeled ‘kitchen’ already sat on the open dining room table, courtesy of FP, but a list on the second-hand fridge, courtesy of Mrs. Andrews, told them they still needed bathroom things. A fish bowl sat on the kitchen bench, the black fish inside swimming around happily.

“Rule number three,” Veronica said from some room beyond, “Toni showers last.”

“Aw, come on,” Toni whined from somewhere else. “Fine, rule number four: Fangs can’t wear my shirts anymore.”

“Yeah,” Cheryl shouted from the living room. “Those are mine now!”

There was a loud bang, like something was dropped onto the floorboards, Archie’s voice cursing from the smallest bedroom, followed by Veronica’s loud laughter booming thru the house.

“What am I supposed to wear, then? Don’t be so afraid of a man presenting feminely.” James huffed when he emerged from his bedroom.

“What you’ve got on now is fine,” Cheryl told him, gesturing to the jeans and torn shirt he adorned “Rule number five: no one is allowed to catch a cold.”

Jughead nodded, appearing with Betty under his arm. “My immune system is too strong, anyway. No problem.”

“Rub salt into my wounds, why don’t you,” Cheryl teased, resulting in a punch in the ribs from Betty as she lectured him about insensitivity as the redhead laughed.

Veronica had hired a truck the day before so they could transport all of their furniture, so there wasn’t much to be done besides each of their rooms and the kitchen. They pooled whatever money they currently had on them to buy food for the day, and some towels at Archie’s insistence, and by the late afternoon Bughead (affectionally named by Toni, in argument with Hobo and Bride of Hobo from Cheryl not so affectionately), were out buying groceries while Toni and Cheryl finished up in the kitchen.

“I like Mrs. Andrews confidence in us to eat a vegetable,” Toni said, holding up a potato peeler.

Cheryl plucked up a cutting board before placing it in a cupboard “Yeah, she’s like that. I like her confidence in us to live alone at all,” 

Toni threw the potato peeler into the second drawer, thus far labeled with a sticky note as the ‘don’t know where else it would go’ drawer, and drew nearer to where Cheryl was working on the ceramic plates.

“Don’t tickle me,” Cheryl warned as she put in a stack of plates.

“I would never,” she even said as she wrapped her arms around Cheryl’s waist. 

Cheryl snorted. “You would so.”

“So, how does it feel to be apart of the gang now? I figured since you seemed so keen on joining our little gang,” she gestured aimlessly around the house with a flick of her wrist “That you’d appreciate joining us for real.” She finished, placing her chin on the redhead’s shoulder 

“It’s... surreal, to be honest,” Cheryl laughed nervously, “In the best way possible.”

“You nearly done?” Toni pressed her cold nose into the crook of Cheryl’s neck, making her squirm and nearly drop a bowl.

“Yeah.”

“Good. We need to christen the bed.”

“I hope by that you mean we need to sleep in it.”

“Duh,” Toni sighed. “I was awake at seven this morning. I never want to do that again.”

“Remember when you were in school,” Cheryl rolled her eyes, turning to face the brunette, looping her arms around her neck.

“I only remember the things that happened after ten in the morning. Now come on, you’re taking too long.” Toni started tugging on the lapels of Cheryl’s Serpent jacket, slowly pulling her backwards into the room originally pegged to be Toni’s. Cheryl’s clothes were packed away in the room over, but her books were on the bookshelf next to Toni’s books, and her telescope sat in the corner of the room next toToni’s latest building project, which Cheryl still didn’t know the function of.

Toni collapsed on the roughly made bed, rolling over to one side to let Cheryl slide on. Cheryl crawled in close, head on Toni’s chest as she instantly felt the pull of sleep try to drag her in.

“This was a good idea,” Cheryl said sleepily, feeling those hooks of unconsciousness deepen as Toni ran her hand through her hair.

“It was,” Toni agreed, sounding just as tired. “I had a lot of good ideas this year.”

“So did I, I think.”

“Tell me one.”

Cheryl lifted her head to kiss the exposed skin above Toni’s shirt neck, pulling herself to practically lie on top of Toni and continue to kiss up her neck.

“Loving you was a good idea,” Cheryl said. She didn’t feel as scared as she thought she should, saying that for the first time, but instead felt a rush of new adrenaline.

She felt that spike again when Toni whispered, “I love you too,” before her body crashed and she fell asleep, Toni joining her seconds after.

*

Sunday AM

(10:30) -Toni-  
How much do you think Fangs will kill me for flooding his bedroom?

THE END.


End file.
